Mikayla's POV
"DIE YOU BLOODY MOTHERFUCKER!" I scream. "Mikayla watch your mouth" My mom says. "SUCK KATANA YOU PALE BITCH!" I scream again. "Mikayla one more out of you and-" she starts but I cut her off. "FUCK YOU, YOU DEAD COCKSUCKER!" I scream again. "That's it." My mom says.
She walks over to the wall and unplugs it. The TV screen goes black says no signal and I stare at it wide eyed. "MOM I WAS WINNING!" I yell at her. "Well you can go home, play Xbox, and curse at zombies all day at your house. But not at mine" she says sitting back down in the recliner. I sit on the couch and pout.
"So is Brook coming down this weekend?" She asks. "No, she's spending the weekend with her family." I say. She nods and continues reading her book. Why do parents always read?
So it's been two months since Mackenzie left. We call each other every once in a while but we're both pretty busy. She's off at school and I managed to be accepted into the LA County Police Academy. I start next month at the academy then after six weeks of that I get to head to the department. It's so exciting. I get to carry a gun and everything. Can't wait to shoot shit.
"What do you want for lunch?" My mom says snapping me out of my thoughts. "I don't know. Surprise me." I say flipping through channels.
About ten minutes into Tom and Jerry my mom sets a plate next to me. I thank her then look down at it. "Rocket and star shaped Pb&j sandwiches? What am I five?" I ask her. She shrugs and goes back into the kitchen. I wait till she's turned around then pick up a rocket ship and make swooshing noises.
"Not five huh?" She says. At hearing that I instantly shove it into my mouth. "Says the one who's watching cartoons and playing with her food." She says with a laugh. I try to swallow so I can retort but fail considering I didn't chew. She sets a tall glass of milk down in front of me and I gladly start chugging it.
….. …. …. ….. …. …. … ….. ….. ….. … ….. ….. …. …. ….
"Annnnnnd… go!" I say. "That's right beyoch! Feeeeeel it! You neeeeeeed it!" I say intensely. I'm having a staring contest with the neighborhood cat. She… or he, is so going down. "Blink damn you!" I say, my eyes watering. It simply stares at me. If cats can have a 'WTF' face, then this one totally has it. "Gah! You win this time, but I WILL redeem myself!" I shout at it rubbing my eyes. It hisses then sprints off.
"That's right you pussy!" I yell. I guess that wouldn't be an insult to it… considering its… well… a cat.
I walk into my apartment and set my keys on the counter. Sad right? How downhill everything for me is right now. I just lost a staring contest with a cat. And you think your life is sad. Pussy. See? You're not a cat so it affects you. Win.
But seriously, I haven't exactly been a mess, but I haven't been the most functional person either. I'm so lost. My mom and Brook can only take me so far. What do I do now? Mackenzie told me not to give up of Miley, but, well… she's married. How the hell am I gonna compete with that? There isn't another try. Her being married to that bitch is the end.
Who would have thought I'd end up like this? My love's not married to me, my parents are legally divorced as of one month ago, and I'm pretty sure relying on the neighborhood cats for backup counts as being crazy.
Speaking of my dad, I've been thinking about him a lot lately. What it would be like if he stayed. If he had actually tried to work things out with my mom. I'm stuck on whether he's an asshole or had every right. He shouldn't have left, but he also had every right to leave after what my mom did. Either or I hate him and I miss him. When I think about him I feel like a little girl. Because that's what I was to him. I was always his little girl at eight and eighteen. After all that, he still abandoned me. He knew I was gay yet he used it against me when he left. The dude beat me with his belt then left. See? I'm two sided on this.
He can't say he didn't love me. I know that when my mom got pregnant they didn't want me… but after I was born, when my first word was 'dadda', when I came to him crying because I scraped my knee, when I was confused about my sexuality, when I was grown enough to suck it up but he still held me… there was nothing but love in everything he did. He just… snapped I guess. We all have that breaking point. Everyone is capable of the worst. And everyone can be better than what they are.
Torn. I need to make up my mind. I either need to hate him or try to find him. I have enough going on in my life and he shouldn't be one of them. Exactly… he should be one of them. So… I guess my minds made up.
Now on the Miley subject, I want to give up. I really do. I so badly want to get her out of my head and move on. Unfortunately, the heart wants what it wants.
And why am I so damn loyal?
On that thought my phone starts ringing and I rush to pull it out of my pocket. Stewart Home. Yupp. That's what it says. Somebody shoot me. What do I do? Answer it? Oh wait… duh. "Hello?" I say timidly into the phone. "Oh thank god, Mikayla?" I hear. "Mr. Stewart?" I say confused. "Y-yeah, look I know I'm not your favorite person a-and I know I've been a shitty father but she's still my little girl and-" I cut him off. "Whoa slow down… what happened?" I ask. "She's gonna do it… I found a not on my porch just now… I… I…" I hear him stifle a sob. "I'll be there in ten minutes." I say hanging up.
I know, why the hell am I rushing to her aid after all that happened? Why am I running a squirrel over for a reason unknown to me? Why am I in asskicker mode? Why do I do anything anymore?
Because sometimes love shatters reason.
….. …. …. … …. ….. …. ….. …. …. ….. . …. … .. … .. …
I arrive at the Stewart's in just under ten minutes and spot Mr. Stewart on the porch. I park then hop out and make my way over to him. "What happened?" I ask. He shakes his head then hands me a piece of paper. I slowly bring my eyes to it and start reading.
Daddy,
I'm sorry. Not for whatever reason your thinking… but because I'm doing this. You may have been pretty bad since Lilly died, but I know I'm still your little girl.
I can't do it anymore Daddy. I can't live like this. I'm ending it. Today. I'm done on this world. Don't try to stop me because by now it's already too late. I'm sorry.
I love you Daddy.
Your Daughter forever,
Miley
P.S. Tell Mikayla… I said goodbye.
There it is.
Flashback
"Miley, sweetie, please open the door." I knew she was serious about this, but she wouldn't do it unless she said goodbye to me first.
I know, why call the only person who would run seven red lights, run over two squirrels, drive through six of the neighbors front yards, and drive thirty miles over the speed limit, to save her. It isn't the same kind shit she pulls. She doesn't call me like this just to feel like someone cares, she calls me because she cares that I know that she values me before she dies.
End Flashback (chapter 2)
In my name. Not Sasha's.
"I'm here what happened?" I hear. Speaking of the bitch.
"Miley's gonna… kill herself" I say. Sasha grabs the note from me and reads it over. I can tell that she's bothered that her name wasn't mentioned. Suck. On. That. Bitch. "Killed. She said it was too late" Mr. Stewart says with his face in his hands. "If it's anything I know about Miley, she hasn't done it… at least not yet. We have to find her" I say pacing. Sasha's pissed but crying and Mr. Stewart is at a loss for words.
Alright come on Mikayla think. Where would Miley go? "Northpoint Ridge" Mr. Stewart says. "What?" I ask. "That's where she is. It's where her life ended three years ago. Now she's back to end it for good." He says in disbelief. No way… that's where Lilly died?
"There's a river just off that street, you have to kind of climb down to the bank. It's slightly hidden from the road. I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner." He says. "Let me go, I'm probably the only one that can talk her out of it. You just call the police and tell them where to go." I say. Mr. Stewart nods. "Yeah and your probably the only one who will drive her to kill herself." Sasha says glaring at me.
I take the note from her and shove it right in front of her face. "My name. Not yours." I say.
And with that, I leave in search of the one I will never stop loving.
…. ….. ….. …. … … …. …. … ….. ….. … … ….. …
I make it to Northpoint Ridge before I know it. I hoped and prayed the whole way here that she would still be alive.
As scary as all this is, I have this overwhelming sense that everything is gonna be alright.
I pull off the side of the road and scramble out of my car. I carefully make my way down the steep grassy hill and onto the leveled bank. I don't see her anywhere. I'm not sure how deep this river is, but if I have to jump in and search for her I will.
I turn around a few times and spot something… no… someone. Very much alive might I add. I start sprinting down the bank until she's in clear view. She's not facing me but I know she heard me. Mostly because I'm breathing so hard. Jesus I need to work out more.
"Miley?" I say softly. "I couldn't do it." She says still not facing me. "Couldn't do what?" I ask. "Marry her. I couldn't marry Sasha. I don't love her… I never did." She says quietly. "No one will ever be Lilly." She says turning to face me.
She looks like Miley. It's what she's holding that makes her different. I don't know where the hell she managed to get a 9 mil. But she has one. She looks so wrong holding a gun. I mean sure I've held one, even posed naked with one… hey I was home by myself and I was feeling the need to be sexy… don't judge me.
Anyway, I'm surprised she can even hold the thing. "Hey sweetie, what are you doing with that?" I ask.
Flashback
Now she looks scared. There's a hint of determination in her eyes. Shit. I have to be careful. I don't want to scare her. I kneel down so I'm eye level with her. She has tears pouring from her eyes.
"Hey sweetie, what are you doing with that?"I say that as sweet as possible, trying to hide the panic in my voice. I can't be blunt with her. I can't just walk up to her and say, "Holy shit Miley! You're trying to kill yourself! Man you're fucked up!" Of course I would never say that though.
End flashback
Only this isn't like that time. The determination doesn't leave. "I can't do this anymore Micky. No more." She says. Her tone is disgustingly calm. "Yeah, you can. Everyone is worth saving Miley. No one is hopeless. And if I have to tell you that every day for the rest of your life I will. Because I'm gonna be right here Miley. I always am and I always have been. You can push as hard as you want, but I always pull you with me. Just like every time. Here I am again. Where I'll be forever." I say stepping close to her.
We hear distant sirens. "After all I've done…" She trails off. "Miley, sometimes love shatters reason." I say. "I don't care about the mistakes you've made and are going to make. Just jump Miley… not into the river, I mean take a chance." I say. I get a small smile out of her from that. "I'm right here Miley. I'm right here. I'm not Lilly and I'll never be. But… I'm here." I say looking deep into her eyes. "No… you're not Lilly… but maybe… I'm ok with that." She says.
I reach my hand out and she stares at it for a bit. "I wanted you to find me so bad." She says quietly. "I did." I whisper. She slowly begins to hand the gun over. It feels like minutes before I feel it just graze my hand. Unfortunately… life isn't that easy. For me… life has never been that easy.
Miley's POV
I wanted her to save me from myself again. Just like she used to. I was sure she wouldn't but here she is. Right in front of me. She did it. Just like she always has.
As I hand the gun over… I don't know what happened… what went wrong. But life is never easy. It just isn't. I'm not sure if we fumbled with it or what… but we both heard a shot ring out. Pain.
Two things… no three. One, it didn't come from my gun. Two I see lots of red… seeping everywhere. And three… it's not coming from me.
…. … ….. …. … …. … ….. …. ….. … …. ….. …. …
I had to take a deep breath for this one. Not an easy chapter. I don't have much to say. Only that things are coming to an end.
Sorry for the delay. My sister just got married last Sunday so that took a lot of my time.
Shout outs:
Croaker001: Hehe… well… I guess you get to see where Mikayla goes here. Don't kill me.
Crazier: Reviews like that are why I love to write. Short and simple but it meant a lot.
Lita Rocks LBC: Haha I know what you mean but not by experience. And in answer to your question, maybe.
Farmerg1214: For the love of all things good and holy, don't kill me after this chapter. Hehe… remember how much you love me!
Cheetahkazikage: Well this one's longer… sort of. Your review literally made me laugh out loud.
By the way, I have all your username's added to my spell check dictionary so it no longer bitches at me to fix them. Just thought you'd like to know.
I didn't write this but I agree 100% with EVERY word said here.
-PUTTING MY STORIES ON STORY ALERT WITHOUT LEAVING A REVIEW. I don't mind if you read my story and don't see it respectable enough for a review, but when you actually take the time out to put my story on alert and wait for new chapters to read when I update, I find it incredibly rude to disregard reviewing it. Especially since it takes me at least two hours to write them. I HATE when readers do that. As an author, I sympathize with other writers and ALWAYS take the time out to review a story I thoroughly enjoy. So...just remember that if you're a reader who does that to stories. If you enjoy them, please take out one moment of your time to leave a review. It truly means a lot to us authors, even if it's a simple statement. We work our butts off for you guys sometimes! It's nice to get a little something in return for the work. (Originally by OverkiII)
Sorry if it sounds like I'm being a jerk. But I get three to four reviews after I pour my heart into a chapter. And for me it takes WAY longer than two hours. So, unfortunately, I will not be updating this story until at least 10 reviews. I love you all like family (sometimes more than my real family) but come on, share the love.
Oh, and sorry about the previous chapters with no lines spacing the scene changes, FF did something weird and killed them. I also noticed that my name doesn't show up. Weird… but that's why I always put A.Y.P. now. So… I just wanted to share that… yeah.
Not too much more to go.
A.Y.P.
