Chapter 29 - Happy Right Now

BPOV

Seeing James in the bar, sitting so brazenly with Edward and his friends scared me to death. He could so easily have walked into the bar with a knife or gun and hurt Edward, or any one of the others. Then there was his letter...the words completely shocked me; of course I sincerely doubted there was a shred of truth in anything he said, but I wanted it to be true so badly. I wanted to be able to move forward and stop waiting for something to happen, I wanted to wander aimlessly around the city with Edward without the need for anyone to "escort" us, and I didn't want to feel the ball of dread in my stomach every time the phone rang.

I allowed myself a few seconds to envisage what he had written, allowed myself to believe what he said and allowed myself to wonder how good that would feel. It was all irrelevant if James was lying. Anyone could buy a ticket to London from JFK, it wasn't proof that he would be on the plane when it took off.

So, when I was told by my father that James had checked in and subsequently boarded that flight back to England I was stunned. There were no phone calls, letters, or gifts.

We told the detectives what had happened and they contacted the hospital at which he claimed to have been a patient. Because of doctor-patient privileges they could only confirm if he had been a patient, which he had, but they couldn't divulge his diagnosis or anything else pertaining to his treatment.

So far, everything appeared to be as it seemed and despite my best intentions to remain un-affected by his promises, I found that I was daring to believe it was true.

Edward seemed to share my reservations and nothing changed as far as our protection was concerned. Felix, Peter, and Harry were kept around to check things were as they appeared to be. The only difference I insisted on was the distance Felix and Harry kept from me. I didn't want either of them hovering on my shoulder, so instead now they just kept me in sight and just that small change felt liberating.

December passed in a blur and before I realised it, Christmas Eve was upon us. As a child it was always my favourite day, even more so than Christmas morning. I always loved the excitement and the anticipation that came with Christmas Eve. I used to think about Santa and his Elves getting his sleigh ready and packing all my presents into his sack. Even as I got older the excitement never faded, my mother was like a child herself, she insisted on leaving the mince pie and glass of milk out every year, even when I left school. She would put the tree up without fail on December 1st and throughout December there would be no music on the stereo other than Christmas songs. Even on the last Christmas morning she'd been alive, she woke me up at six am, knocking on my door singing, "He's been Bella, come and see." There would be just a few crumbs remaining on the plate and a trace of milk left in the glass. I knew it was her, but still her enthusiasm for the holiday made me smile just thinking about it.

Perhaps your insanity and mental health problems stem from your mother?

But, since she died I'd hated Christmas. The ones spent with my father were nice enough, even Alice and Angela had tried their best to make ours special, but something was missing; my mum...a real family. This year was going to be a big deal for me, I was having lunch with Edward's family at their house in the Hampton's. They had invited us to spend Christmas Eve there too, but I was working at Arts, so we were driving over with Emmett and Rose early Christmas Day instead.

Christmas Eve I woke up early with a strange feeling. It felt like a hundred butterflies were fluttering around inside my stomach. I thought initially it was nerves, but what on earth would I be nervous?

I was eager to be up and about, I wanted to make the most of New York City at this wonderful time of year before my shift started. Edward, on the other hand was in no rush to move. He was still fast asleep and I subtly tried to rouse him. I played with his hair and ran my fingers across his lips and face, but he never stirred and I gave it up as a lost cause. I sighed, got out of bed, and after showering, I made as much noise as I could in another attempt to wake him up but when I emerged he hadn't moved an inch.

I sat cross-legged at the bottom of the bed and felt the butterflies start again. I had no idea why I was feeling like this, because I wasn't nervous or anxious. I tried to calm myself down with deep breathing and peaceful thoughts but it made no difference. What on earth was wrong with me?

You're not nervous, you're excited because it's Christmas Eve. This is how it used to feel before. Edward's making Christmas Eve something to look forward to again.

I was excited! Of course I was. For the first time in six years I was looking forward to a family Christmas. I stared at Edward in awe, love and lust. After cooing over how much I loved him I felt a little emotional.

You're emotionally unstable, you do know that right? Anyway, when you're done crying, please remember Mr. Delicious has made you love Christmas, don't you think you should say thank you? I can think of a sure fire way to wake him up.

Lust took control at that point and I peeled back the covers and climbed over him, slowly kissing down his neck softly. He didn't wake up, but I smirked as Mr. D Junior acknowledged my presence. As I drifted lower over his stomach and hips he was still asleep but as soon as my lips reached the promised land, his eyes flew open and he swore loudly.

"Jesus..." he croaked and his hands immediately found my head. "Bella."

I teased him first with my tongue and teeth, moving slowly up and down his shaft, barely touching him. Then, when I took him fully in my mouth as deep as I could, he began to guide my head back and forth urging me faster so I did.

"I going to come, Bella...shit," he panted, and I felt him feebly attempt to move my head.

I kept going and watches smugly as he flopped back, a content smile fixed on his face.

"Fuck me, that was the best wakeup call I've ever had. What was that for?" he asked as I crawled back up his body.

"I just felt like saying, I love you." I shrugged.

"Not that I'm complaining, but you could have said the actual words, you know." He chuckled, his eyes were still burning and his hair was even more wild than usual.

"Yeah right, if someone didn't sleep like a deaf person in a coma then I would have been able to just say it," I teased and traced around his face with my fingers. Marvelling at the perfection that was Edward.

"Well, I'm certainly not going to apologize, Bella. If that's the only way you can wake me up then I'll get rid of my alarm clock now." Edward rolled over me. "How about I tell you how much I love you?"

Ooooh yes please Mr. Delicious. Tell do tell.

"I was hoping you'd say that." I giggled.

Edward and I spent the majority of the day out and about in Manhattan, I loved the wonderful atmosphere that the city boasted. The streets were full of people catching up on their last minute Christmas shopping. We visited the huge tree at Rockefeller Center and he even attempted to take me ice skating . That didn't last much longer than ten minutes. After I fell twice and succeeded in pulling him down with me he had complained about my coordination and forcibly removed me from the ice.

All day Edward drew a lot of attention. In fact one girl started squealing that she got the present she had asked Santa to get her. I chatted to her mother as Edward entertained the girl. Apparently, the only thing she had wanted this year was to meet Edward Cullen. Her mother admitted she had been dreading Christmas morning because she knew she wouldn't be able to give her that present. She thanked Edward profusely before she and her daughter left. Fan after fan approached him and he posed dutifully for photos and signed countless autographs. He was perfectly polite although I could see he was getting a little tired of it.

I forgot that somewhere close by were Felix and Harry, watching to make sure we weren't about to come face to face with James.

The weather was icy cold yet I barely noticed. I didn't care that a few people snapped photos of Edward and I together, I was just happy that I was here with him and finally enjoying the spirit of Christmas again.

We headed straight to Arts before my shift started at six. I was working Christmas and New Year, but I had done the previous two years. It was always busier than usual at this time of year, but now that it was common knowledge the boys from Zeus were regulars there was rarely a spare minute during the shift. Still Edward took his usual spot at the end of the bar, waiting for me.

Yes ladies, he's here with me. Just me, not you.

"Hey, Art, what time are you hoping to close?" Edward set upon Art as soon as he sat down.

"Damn, Edward, she's only just started her shift. If you don't quit hassling me I'm going to have to ban you from the place." Art huffed sarcastically.

"Come on buddy, no later than..." Edward pressed.

"Fine, no later than two, okay?" Art muttered, "Honestly, if you weren't my friend I'd be telling her she should get rid of you."

Edward snorted. "Gimme a break, Art, you know damn well you'd want it to be me who's her boyfriend, rather than anybody else she could have met here in your bar. I was only asking what time because we're heading to my parents in the morning and I wanted to let them know when to expect us. Plus, if you were feeling a little more festive, you might let her go earlier so she wasn't too tired tomorrow."

"Bah, she's always tired. I know what you're like, Eddie, you don't use the night hours to sleep." Art laughed and I cringed. "But to respond to your point, yes Bella's like a sister, and no I wouldn't want her to be with anyone else who comes in here. So, by the process if elimination, I suppose you are the best of a rather poor selection she had and I'm not Ebenezer Scrooge, you know she can leave as soon it quietens down. Now shut up and let the girl get to work."

The night passed by quickly, I didn't get much chance to speak to Edward. Unusually he wasn't joined by anyone in the bar. Emmett and Rose hadn't been to Art's for a few days, although they were in the city. Garrett and Seth were both with their respective families, Alice had taken Jasper back to Seattle to meet her parents, and Angela was spending Christmas in Miami with Ben.

As the night wore on Edward seemed to become more and more distant...off it somehow. He was usually friendly and forthcoming with other customer's in the bar, but not tonight. I kept smiling at him, and he did smile back but it was half-hearted. Something was bothering him and my mind began to run away with me.

Is he tiring of the straddling? Does he want someone else to straddle him? Perhaps your overbearing father, your crazy ex-boyfriend or your mental issues are too much for him? Don't let him dump you, Bella. Please...we need the straddling.

I tried to ignore her for the rest of the night. Inner-Bella was certainly trying her best to list all the reasons why Edward would be so distant and none of them made me feel any better. I thought about the gift I'd bought him. We were exchanging them before we left tomorrow morning. I had insisted that we set a limit on the amount we could spend. I had first wanted it to be no more than $50, but Edward had negotiated me up to $87. Why $87 I had no idea, but I suppose I would find out soon enough. My gift to him had cost more than that of course, but he didn't need to know that just yet.

It was a little after two when we finally left the bar. There were a few customers finishing off and I left Art and Sandrine clearing up. The walk back to the apartment was awkward and silent. Edward continued to insist he was fine and I continued to not believe him.

The small doubts I had in my head were now well and truly out of control. I'd managed to talk myself into believing Edward was about to tell me he didn't want me to go to his parent's for dinner and that he wasn't really happy with me and that it was probably for the best if we didn't see each other again.

We are in mourning, I am imagining myself in a black dress, black hat and of course black veil over my face.

"Bella, Emmett wants to leave by eight, what if we opened our gifts now, rather than tomorrow morning?" Edward was sitting beside me on the bed but his legs were jigging and his fingers were nervously picking at a callous on the inside of his palm.

"Sure. Let me grab yours." I rifled around in the wardrobe and handed him the small dark blue gift-bag. "If you don't mind, could you open it first? If you don't like it then please just say. I had no idea what to get you."

He smiled excitedly as he untied the string. "Mmmm, I'm intrigued." He looked curiously at the small box he had fished from the bottom of the bag.

"Look it's nothing to get jizzy about. In fact you might already have one that you like to use." I chewed on my fingernail anxiously.

His eyes widened slightly as he opened the box, and then he broke out into a huge grin. "Ah, Bella, that's brilliant." He twirled the little pick around in his fingers and then laughed as he read the inscription.

I had been drooling over a video of the guys playing a gig on their recent tour, I noticed that Edward used this little thing to play the guitar with. Bang! That was my gift. I found out the "little thing" was actually a pick, or plectrum and that you could have them inscribed if you wanted. I knew instantly what I wanted on mine and there was a store just a few blocks from my old apartment which did the rest.

"Mr. Delicious huh?" Edward laughed, he seemed to appreciate the present and I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"Well, I thought that was a bit more original than 'Edward', 'Cullen' or 'love you'. I hope you like it?" I smiled anxiously.

"It's perfect, Bella." He leaned over and kissed me. "Perfect."

Excuse me, while I do love to do pretty much anything which may eventually lead to straddling, I would also rather like to open my present now. You know the rules, give and take. Give him his present and then take yours.

Edward dropped a gift in my lap while his lips were still on mine and then he moved back to watch me open it.

I gasped as I opened the wrapping. Inside was a small frosted glass box. I lifted it out carefully and almost cried. It was my jewellery box. Okay, not the same one that James had smashed a few weeks back, but it was the same kind. There was the same little swan, the same music which played when you wound it up, and even the colour of the interior was the same.

"Wow." I choked back a tear or two as I listened to the sound of Swan Lake drift around the room. "Edward, this is just...wonderful. I mean that doesn't even come close. I can't believe you found one." I sniffed and set the box down carefully before throwing my arms around his neck. "Thank you, it's the best gift you could ever have got me."

I moved to pick up the jewellery box again but Edward took my hands. "I'm not done."

I narrowed my eyes and said, "Hey, we had a budget remember?"

"Please, you're trying to tell me that a silver pick was anything less than $300? You can't lie, Bella, so don't start trying now. Besides, I've had this for ages, so it doesn't count as a gift exactly." He laughed, but he sounded a little nervous.

"You certainly know how to bend the rules, Cullen." I shook my head and waited for him to continue.

He didn't say anything straight away. He handed me a small box, then said, "Well, I thought that as you were getting a jewellery box for Christmas, it might be a good idea if you had something to put in it."

Bless his little cotton socks. He's bought you some earrings to put inside. He's so cute, huh?

I smiled and opened the box.

Oh my God.

It wasn't earrings, nor was it a bracelet or a necklace. It was a ring.

Oh my God!

It wasn't just any old ring, it was a platinum banded ring.

Oh my God.

A platinum banded ring with a diamond right in the centre.

Oh my God.

A holy Mary Mother of God, HUGE diamond.

Oh my God!

I gasped and didn't take my eyes from the ring. Because I was so transfixed on the ring, and because I couldn't see much thanks to the cascade of tears filling my eyes, I didn't notice Edward move from my side and I didn't see Edward sink slowly to one knee. Only when he spoke did I snap back to attention.

"Bella," he whispered and I lost myself in his eyes for a moment. They were so vulnerable and nervous. I hadn't seen him like this before and it made my heart flip.

"Bella, I know this is crazy, I can see it's freaking you out. But please just let me say something okay?" He looked at me, his eyes were pleading with me to let him finish and I nodded. That was all I could do, I couldn't speak, not if I wanted to. I was having enough trouble holding it together enough to maintain breathing.

Was Edward Cullen about to propose?

Hell yeah he is baby.

He took a deep breath. "Bella, I know you think I'm being crazy. We've only been together six months and for three of those I never got to see you, but I love you...I've been in love with you since that first night in the bar. You are like no one I've ever met and I've wanted to do this for so long. I bought the ring in London and I was going to ask you as soon as I got back...but I thought I'd freak you out. I planned to do it the week after Caitlyns party, I'd arranged a romantic meal and carriage ride in the park...but all that shit went down with James and I couldn't. Then when we went to LA, I booked that extra night at the hotel, I had a private dinner booked on our balcony and was going to do it then. I even started to do it when you were hung over, I was just about to kneel down when my sister started pounding on the door. I took it as a sign from the God's that I wasn't meant to do it so soon, so I decided to wait. Until now." He paused and looked, gauging my reaction.

My hands were still clutching the box tightly, I was still staring at the ring, staring at Edward, almost hyperventilating at his words. He held my hands and started talking again.

"Bella, I talked to Alice. She told me how little you always expected from your life and how you always assumed you'd never get your happily ever after. You deserve that, Bella, and I want to be the one to give it too you. Will you let me?" He stopped again and waited.

HELL YES WE WILL! Mrs. Delicious sounds good to me.

My heart was screaming in unison with Inner Bella, but unbelievably I found myself shaking my head.

What? Don't you dare say no. What are you doing? Mr. Delicious is proposing, you moron.

When he saw my response Edward's face fell and his eyes dropped to the floor, I could see I'd hurt him.

"Edward," I whispered, tears running down my cheeks. "Edward, I love you. I love you so much. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else except you...it's just after everything that's happened over these past seven years, I realised that 'Happily Ever After' is too far ahead. The only thing I want is 'Happy Right Now' and you don't need to propose to give me that, Edward. You already have." I leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose. When I pulled back slightly I could see him looking at me. He smiled, but it was a tentative, calculative smile.

"Happy right now?" he asked and I nodded. "I can do that. In fact can I make a suggestion?" He didn't wait for my reply. He moved closer, he was still kneeling, but was only inches from my face. "How does 'happy right now, for the rest of our lives sound?" He didn't move his face, but I felt his hand release mine and pick the ring out of the box which was still tight in my grasp.

I smiled, I wasn't saying no this time. I couldn't, I wanted to say yes. "That sounds pretty good."

He smiled, his usual smile, it lit up his eyes. He took my left hand and hovered the ring over my third finger hesitantly. "How does happy right now, for the rest of our lives as Mrs. Isabella Cullen sound?"

"Perfect," I croaked and he slid the ring down my finger kissing me passionately as he did.

Wow, you are going to be Mr. Delicious' wife. Wow.

Yes, I had been reverted back to one word syllables again. But under the circumstances, I considered myself lucky that I could think of anything at all.

It was almost five when we tried to get some sleep. Edward didn't have seem to have much difficulty, his soft breathing right by my ear told me he was gone just minutes after he closed his eyes. I on the other hand was more awake than I'd ever been in my life. I looked down at the ring, moving my finger from side to side and watched it sparkle in the light coming in from the window. I couldn't believe this was actually happening to me.

Last Christmas, Alice, Angela ,and I had spent the day in our apartment, eating a Christmas lunch delivered by a catering company. It was perfectly nice; we had spent the evening watching TV with a bottle of wine. In fact I even remembered we watched a video of Zeus at one point and all three of us had begun to drool shamelessly at the guys. Now here I was, one year later, in bed with Edward, in our apartment with a huge rock on my finger. To add to what appeared to be too good to be true, James knew where I was, knew I was involved with Edward and he was nowhere to be found. He wasn't making my life a living hell anymore, could this all be happening?

I was still looking at my hand when Edward spoke.

"If you don't like it, I can change it?" He kissed my shoulder. I hadn't realised he was even awake.

"Absolutely not! I love it, Edward. I can't believe you've had this since you came home." I put my hand down and rolled to face him.

"I didn't intend to buy it, we were shopping in London and Caitlyn dragged us into this quirky jewellery store. I was looking around and then I saw it. Rose saw me looking and helped cover for me when I wanted to buy it. No one else knew I even bought it, well aside from Alice." I could just about see his face, there were no lights on but the huge windows allowed some light from the outside to illuminate his silhouette. I could tell he was smiling, I could hear it in his voice.

"Alice? Why did you tell Alice?" I wondered, secretly amazed that she had been able to keep quiet about it.

"I called her from the store, I didn't know what size your finger was."

"How on earth did Alice find that out?" I had never been shopping for rings with Alice before and I certainly couldn't remember any conversations which had included a discussion of ring sizes.

"She knew you sometimes wore your mother's wedding band. She fished it out from your room and measured it." He laughed a little. "I had to go to the man in the store and tell him that it was about the same width as a tube of breath mints. I think he thought I was a crazy fool but it would seem Alice's own way of measuring worked. It fits perfectly." He kissed my nose softly. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too."

While we were waiting for Emmett and Rose to pick us up, I sent text messages to both Alice and Angela to wish them Happy Christmas and of course tell them that Edward had proposed. Even though it was before five n the morning in Seattle, Alice texted back immediately. I could almost hear the squeals she would no doubt have made the second she read the text.

Oh thank god he's finally done it. It's been driving me mad not being able to say anything. Congratulations, Bella, I'm so happy for you. I'll ring you tonight and you can tell me all about it, I want to hear every word! The folks love Jazz, but I knew they would. Wish Edward a happy Christmas for me chick. Love ya x

Emmett and Rose arrived a little after eight and we went straight downstairs to meet them. Edward had sent Felix home after we got back to the apartment last night and I had insisted that my father call off his troops just for today. Peter was at the house with Edward's family so we weren't without protection.

We climbed into the back of the car and Rose looked at Edward expectantly. "Merry Christmas you two." She grinned and cast another look at Edward.

"So, Bella, Edward was supposed to ask you if you could help Mom make some of those Yorkshire Puddings, they were awesome. I've been trying to get Mom and Rose to make them, but they don't taste the same. You wouldn't mind would you?" Emmett asked as he began to manoeuvre his way through the city. "Edward raved about yours, said they were better than the ones we had in England."

"No pressure then?" I teased and Emmett laughed.

"So have you two exchanged gifts?" Rose asked, clearly she was dying to know if Edward had actually asked me yet.

"Yeah, we did it last night after Bella finished work. She got me a pick and had it engraved, it's great. I've brought it with me so I'll show you at the house," Edward said casually.

"What did you get, Bella?"Rose turned around in her seat to face me and I glanced nervously at Edward.

He grinned at my obvious reluctance and answered on my behalf. "I got her a jewellery box, one like she had as a kid and then I asked her to marry me," he said it so matter of factly that I couldn't help but giggle. Rose clapped her hands excitedly and Emmett almost choked on a mouthful of coffee he was drinking as he drove.

"You proposed? Already? Shit you don't waste your time," Emmett said quietly..

"Aw, babe, don't worry I won't get any ideas." Rose laughed. "I take it you said yes, Bella?"

"Yes, of course I did." I smiled widely.

"That's wonderful, guys. Let me see the ring again." She held her hand out and I lifted mine so she could see.

"Again?" Emmett looked at her in confusion. "How come you've already seen it?"

"Rose helped me buy it in London," Edward answered.

"London? You bought that in London? Wow, you do like to do things quickly." Emmett looked shocked. "Jeez."

"Stop being a grouch, Emmett." Rose said without looking at him, she told me the ring was perfect and finally released my hand.

"So, Rose, what did my romantic brother buy you?" Edward joked.

"Well he bought me a new car back in LA, I can't wait to drive it. Honestly, Bella, it's fabulous. I thought that was it but he surprised me this morning with a watch, it's Cartier." She held out her right hand and showed me. It was pretty; it had a sapphire encrusted elongated face and a simple but obviously expensive leather strap.

Pah, did she see the rock on your finger? Who cares about being able to tell the time? The only time we care about is - Straddle O'Clock.'

"That's lovely, Rose." I sat back and listened as Edward and Rose discussed the new car. The hum of the engine and the fact that I had no sleep last night meant I was struggling to keep my eyes open.

I couldn't fight the tiredness for long, I barely remembered leaving Manhattan before I succumbed.

A/N Thanks to Prettyflour for prereading and to you guys for reading :D

Is that why you figured he was going to do in LA?

Thanks to the very inconvenient death of my laptop the updates may not come as frequently :/ I have all the story prewritten, but each chapter needs editing and I'm having to battle the predictive text, teeny keyboard & small screen of my iPhone to do it *le sigh*

Until I get a replacement this is the only way I can edit so please bear with me!

I apologise for any errors I blame them all on my phone! ;)

More soon

Katy

Xx