I've Been Wrong Before

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Chapter Twenty-Nine: Make Me Stop

(())

I might have to steal you.

I'm sorry, what?

Steal me? Did he just...

I was about to ponder Joker's words, and the very unsettling (but equally pleasing) intensity of his gaze until the both of us turned in the direction from where we just came. Ode to the footsteps quickly tapping on the tile floor. (In the next minute, they'd beat, nevermore.)

"I guess they're trying to run for the exits," I stated, referring to the quick steps.

Joker still had my chin in his hand, so I continued to look at him. He continued to gaze at me in deep thought then with a flicker of his eyes to the hall, Joker drawled, "I'm more interested in what he's running away from."

That crossed my mind, but I'd rather not know.

Joker licked his scars, perplexed by the sound that was gradually coming towards us. He dropped his hand from my face, smiled at me, and then inclined his head in a nonverbal order for me to get behind him. In return, I looked vexed; clearly, he could tell that I was not used to other people fighting my battles. He chuckled when I remained on his left as the oncoming traffic appeared. I wasn't too shocked to see that it was Cecil O'Brien, running...but I was surprised to see that he was here, not in jail.

Breathless, the man stopped, seeing me, but he took out his gun the moment he recognized the Joker. I'd momentarily forgotten that some of these people owed Joker an apology for beating him up week after week. Joker didn't react to a gun being drawn at his face, but he did smile knowingly at Cecil's fear. Cecil glanced at me quickly.

"Come on, Richardson—we have to move, now. I'll save you from..."

"Self-destruction?" Joker offered when Cecil merely glared at the former.

Cecil opened his mouth to demand why Joker thought he was my own self-destruction but I didn't give him the luxury of coming up with a smart comment that would make me want to kill him as well. Provided that I snatched his gun, clicked it so that the cartridge of new ammo dropped at my feet, and handed the thing back to him. Cecil stared at me, shocked, puzzled, and utterly perplexed as I stared right back at him.

"You shoot my patients," I threatened, "I'm coming after you personally. You can use it as a club."

Cecil stared at me, still, then watched as Joker stepped closer to me. He made a move to 'save' me from some kind of impending death; just as he did, Joker moved me roughly aside so Cecil was harshly face planted to the ground and Joker had his hands around the back of the man's neck, shoving his face into the tile. Apparently, the pressure was painful since Cecil was thrashing around. Joker chuckled, turning the guy's head so Cecil stared up at me, attempting to plea but I was still taken aback by how quickly Joker moved. In the time it took for Cecil to move towards me, Joker had already disarmed a security officer (he snatched the gun, throwing it aside, and now it was lying near my feet), got him on the ground, and the said officer was helpless to the world around him.

Unless the Joker planned on squishing his face to the floor to death, I hardly saw the threat in Cecil's current situation; other than the fact that Joker straddling his lower back might give Cecil some discomfort—the latter was bit of a homophobe and anything closely linked to the sexuality made him uncomfortable. I smirked when Cecil began to look mildly uncomfortable; how did he know that Joker wasn't planning something...interesting?

"Where are your friends now, O'Brien?" Joker mused, lowering his face to look at Cecil.

"Get off me, you..."

Joker had turned Cecil's face so the man was now mumbling angrily into the tile floor. I cocked my head to the side as Joker rolled his eyes, smirking at the latter, then looked at me.

"Didn't your parents teach you anything, little pig? If you don't have anything nice to say..." Joker drawled as he pulled back Cecil's head by his hair (the officer cringed and whimpered at the fresh pain of his hair being yanked)—Joker growled the last, "Don't say anything at all."

I flinched when Joker slammed Cecil's head into the tile floor so hard that the tile cracked, the blood from his face poured, and the man moved no longer. It then occurred to me that I just watched one of my fellow men die. Joker sighed, a bit breathless, as he stood to his feet, wiped his hands of this mess, then turned to me.

I guess he expected my sudden act of vengeance for he grabbed my wrists the moment I started fighting him. He laughed in spite of my anger, pushing my back against the wall. Then, Joker pushed his body against mine so I was out of room to even fight him; with my wrists restrained in his hands, which were held against his chest, I stared at him angrily.

Just as I was filled with hate for the man that killed one of my own (despite my apathetic feelings for Cecil personally), I was also feeling a great amount of uncertainty. To see Joker in action after knowing what he did a year ago...I guess it was like seeing the beast in a real fight rather than being locked away in a zoo. In a way, I was amazed to see such violence come out of one man and then be dismissed of it so easily—as if killing a man was that easy...so easy to do.

Joker smirked at me still, and I wondered why.

He let my hands go in a slow movement. I didn't see his right hand move to my jaw, nor the left to caress the nape of my neck; I was aware of it, but still placed in a state of shock.

"Do you still think I'm a great leader now," Joker breathed.

I stared at him still...what did I think?

I didn't think anything. Nothing.

But I did realize that, in a certain light, Joker was a great leader. I'd seen how quickly he reacted to a situation. I saw him disarm a man that normally would have fought until Kingdom come. I saw him take control of his situation that seemed ten minutes ago hardly winnable. And yet, there was a dead man not but three feet away.

These men beat the fuck out of Joker, and yet, he was still smiling too. I stared at the Joker. Yes, I thought he was a great leader, as far as leadership was concerned. But that didn't mean I had to think of him as a good man—I never once thought that.

"Yes." I answered finally.

Joker smiled at me: "'Yeah'?" He giggled quietly: "You never cease to amaze me."

"How?" I asked.

"How what?"

"How do I amaze you?" I questioned spitefully.

Joker stepped away from me, smirking as he did. It was the knowledge of what he'd done and yet, I was not fighting anymore. He'd gotten away with it, without having to fight me for Cecil's ended life. Joker held out his arms in a way that almost invited me to him, but I knew it was a point of performance.

"You're so dir-ect." Joker stated. "I don't see that often. Especially from people in your department."

"My department is direct." I stated, a bit offended by this.

"Sure, when they wanna be," said Joker, turning from me to start down the hall.

I hurried to keep up with him. Despite the fact that I wanted to hide Cecil from anyone that saw him, I didn't want to be left alone. Plus, he was my chance of getting to Lyle's secret cabinet, getting the information I needed to stop men like him from corrupting the system. That, and we had a deal. I glanced behind at Cecil, wishing I could cover his body with something—a blanket, anything. While I didn't like the guy even after watching him die, I didn't want any doctors or nurses to see that one of the officers of the law had been taken down. You wanna talk hopelessness—that was a good hint as any.

(())

We were down two corridors. I walked slightly ahead of the Joker while he strolled behind me. So far, we'd passed fifteen dead bodies—most of them were nurses, orderlies. None of them I noticed—then again, I was working nights these days so the new faces made me wonder just what their lives had been like before they'd been placed in this hell hole. I recognized one of the dead nursing assistants, immediately saddened by the fact that she had only been working here for two weeks. Now she was lying on her back with a knife stuck in her neck—the blade embedded all the way through.

I stooped beside her shoulders, glaring at the body. I wanted to know the patient that did this, but at this point, I had a choice of one out of thirty-something. Even more than that, considering there were other levels of this hospital that were on the same floor as Level 1 and 2. In all, there were five levels—but only 1,2, and 3 counted the floors.

Joker watched me take the handle of the blade and pull it out quickly, wincing a little when I could feel the bone snap in this woman's neck. I glanced at the blood on the knife, and quickly used the woman's scrub uniform as a makeshift napkin. When it was half-clean of red, I placed my hand on the girl's forehead, uttered a soft 'sorry', then straightened. Joker had been watching me with a kind of half-amused expression on his face.

"What?" I questioned, immediately annoyed by his joy.

Joker shrugged.

"Nothing," he said.

"Not 'nothing'." I returned unhappily. "You're not smiling just for shits and giggles."

When I approached him, I didn't realize I was gesticulating to him with the knife until his eyes flickered at the thing. He didn't look scared. No, in fact, he looked mildly interested with what I was going to do with it. Now that I had a weapon...

"What if I am?" Joker asked, leaning forward. "What would you do?"

At the challenge, I frowned.

"I'm not killing you." I said.

"That was a big leap," Joker replied, giggling. "I never said anything about killing me."

"I know that's what you're thinking," I stated, looking at him. "You think because after I've watched you kill Cecil that somehow, suddenly, I'd snap and start killing people out of my own self-loathing, and righteousness."

Joker shrugged: "It's occurred to me, yeah."

"Then you're wrong." I returned.

"Well, I've been wrong before—that's nothing new to me." Joker returned nonchalantly. "But if you're not out for vengeance, maybe you'd fancy something more your speed."

I eyed him suspiciously. Anything to do with knives, I didn't trust the Joker. Anything to do with vengeance, or relative means of that nature, I was taking caution. Joker stepped towards me menacingly; that was my hint to step back, and I placed the blade in front of me.

Unpredictable.

The thought crossed my mind as a warning flag, so I watched every part of him as close as I could. Joker grinned when I did so.

"I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're thinking." Joker offered.

"Yeah, well, the thought occurred to me." I stated.

"Honest, immoral, and paranoid," Joker mused, smirking. "I can't help but think we were simply meant to be."

I stared at him. Truthfully, he disarmed me by the statement. It never crossed my mind that I could change him. I never once thought he and I were meant to be together in the end, or that we'd share a happy ending, or he'd become a nice man after knowing me. Being soul mates had never appealed to me...but...

"Do you believe in Karma, Kate?" Joker asked, crossing his arms as if he and I were talking about our kids on the playground, rather than having been placed in an odd situation where I felt he was after my neck.

"Yes." I answered honestly.

"Then I don't have to tell you that O'Brien had it comin'," Joker stated casually.

"No. You don't. But you didn't have to kill him."

"No, I didn't. However, that was pleasure, not business, Pet."

"Is this business?" I asked—I was under the impression he was about to kill me, anyway. I might as well know the situation.

"No," Joker returned.

In seconds, he had me on my back—not in the good way. I grunted with the impact of my body being slammed onto the tile, and I was aware that my back and hair was being soaked in the nursing assistant's pool of blood. Joker and I wrestled, despite him straddling my stomach. Inevitably, he took the knife; but to my surprise, he threw it behind him as if it didn't matter to him.

His hands grabbed either side of my face and his mouth shoved onto mine. My mind screamed "wrong mood, wrong mood!" but I didn't deny that this roughness had my loins burning. Still, to keep what little humanity I had left, I wrestled underneath him, attempting to wriggle from his kiss, his hands, and away from his body.

I shoved my hands against his chest to give any amount of space between us, but Joker laughed it off, as if my thrown punches hurt him as much as a mosquito did when it landed. I growled furiously, even when he had me pinned down completely. With a loud infuriated shriek, I still thrashed.

"There's that anger of yours—getting you into trouble..." Joker purred.

I heard him even as I'd shrieked.

"How about you utilize that rage of yours, hm?" Joker suggested.

When I didn't answer, he leaned back, taking the knife I'd withdrawn from the body beside me, and placed it my hands.

"Use it," Joker said quietly.

"You want me to stab you?" I asked.

"Well, 'cut', 'stab', 'slice'...you know, all of it is pretty much the same when you get down and dirty," Joker explained loosely. In a deep voice that resonated in his chest, he groaned, "Speaking of dirty..." He wiggled his lower half and I quieted my moan when I felt his hard-on against my navel.

"Do it," Joker encouraged, smiling. "Do it for O'Brien, or, hell, this woman you never knew." He indicated the nursing assistant. "Or—how about all the people I've killed in the past. The pigs in the MCU that died when the bomb went off, or Rachel Dawes...you know, I don't think she enjoyed the fireworks as much as me; she was burned on the last few."

I stared at him, incredulous to his provoking remarks. I didn't know Rachel Dawes personally but the fact that he talked about her as if she was a joke made me glare at him.

"Or..." Joker purred, "If the dead don't do it for you..."

I stared at him when he lowered his frame to mine, how they molded together.

"Do it because you feel the way you shouldn't when I do this."

Joker shoved his mouth on mine so hard that it hurt, flicking his tongue between my lips as they forced their invitation inside. Aroused by the dominance he exerted, and surprised (and disgusted) by my sudden submission and desire for him, I attempted to resist; I pursed my lips together, to keep him at bay but I was disarmed by the moan Joker emitted when his hips grinded against mine—and to my shock, my hips responded.

"Stop..." I whimpered—out of self-loathing, yes, but simultaneously, a need.

Joker placed his hand on my jaw and with the grasp, he pushed back my head, exposing my neck. He kissed my throat with his tongue then trailed to my earlobe, which I felt him nibble. His voice growled darkly: "Make me stop."

Ooh, the challenge...

What reaction I'd expected from myself was vengeance and maybe a happy opportunity to cut him for his sexual assault on all five of my senses. Instead, I felt it was more dirty talk than anything. However, that didn't stop me from wielding what little self-righteousness I imposed, and continue battling for what I felt was a losing war. None the less, I needed to have my morality win over what...was...

My thoughts were becoming more obscured when Joker uttered, "You want me more than you realize, Pidgeon. You're trying to be what everyone else wants you to be...righteous, obedient, law-abiding..." His hand left my neck to move between our lower appendages, "empathetic, self-restrained..." I felt his fingers slip inside the front of my pants, smoothing over the mesh material of my underwear to cup his palm over my wet center, "Officer Kate."

I quivered under his touch.

"I represent everything you're against," Joker purred. "Isn't that what you told me in the beginning?"

"Yes..." I managed—my breathing was getting a little harder to control.

"I bet your husband is the only thing controlling whom I believe to be is the real Katelynn Richardson."

I stared at him incredulously.

"You don't know anything about..."

"Oh, sh, sh, sh," Joker silenced.

I stifled a moan when his fingers moved between my underwear and my flesh, sliding them over the source of all my discomfort. He sent me a crooked smile when he felt my wetness. I couldn't even deny any more that I didn't want him, even after witnessing a violent crime. Now the world could witness a sexual one.

"Your marriage is on the rocks," Joker sighed softly, "That's not your fault—all marriages die, whether by death or a husband's neglect."

I glared at Joker—It wasn't Gary's fault that my marriage was diluted. It was mine.

"It's not his fault," I voiced my indignant thoughts.

Joker smirked saying, "Of course it's not." He chuckled: "It's nice to see someone can admit their own flaws—you don't see that often, especially in a place like this. Or from a woman."

Wow, that was a low blow, wasn't it? Battle of the Sexes all over again. At least Gary's not arguing that females have the flexibility trait so Twister is a no-win for the males...or...

Joker wiggled his fingers against my sex and I damn near cried out—it felt too good for all the bad reasons.

"Stop!" I hissed.

"Or what?" Joker asked. "You'll cut me? C'mon, if you were up for any of that fun, you'd already have—"

Joker grunted, falling off me when I slashed the knife over his arm. When I got to my feet, Joker was already on his, holding his left forearm, which was already oozing with blood. He glanced at it briefly, then smiled at me proudly.

"You didn't even get past the skin," Joker stated. "You might as well not have even cut me to begin with."

I threw the knife at him and it struck the wall, the handle quivering as the blade remained in an erect position. Joker observed its fine lining, then smiled at me.

"That was by design," I told him. "You want a deeper one, give me the knife and I'll be happy to satisfy. This time, I won't disappoint."

Joker chuckled, wrenching the knife from the wall, and then tossed it to me. I caught it by the blade, looking at him curiously.

"We'll have time for more knife play, I'm sure. Best shove on before we get distracted again," Joker instructed professionally.

I warily began walking beside him. I startled when I felt him spank my ass as he continued ahead of me, a mischievous grin planted on his face. I watched after him, uncertain as to what had happened. I'm sure I'd get the bigger picture in the end. However, now wasn't the time for reminisce and pondering; I still had to get the damn videos from Lyle's cabinet, and then later, somehow find a way out of here without getting either of us killed.