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Chapter 29 - Consequences
As the wind shifted, my entire perspective changed. For just a second, I forget that my family lay in pieces at home; and for just a second, I forget that I had an arm-and leg-less female vampire hidden in my hiking backpack. And, for just a second, I seemed to forget that there were two female vampires hidden somewhere in close proximity, who could shatter everything for me in they ran into the wrong vampires.
I tore through the snow-land scenery, disturbing the snow and the animals. As Corin began to object from her place in the backpack, I only had enough sense to quiet her with her gift, so that I wouldn't be disturbed any further. My entire focus was on my hunt, and to ensure that no one got in the way. A viscious, excited snarl tore through my body – I was truly a hunter now, an animal.
The scent had been further away than I had anticipated. A part of me was quite aware that it was human, and I had been since the second I had smelled it. The weather was far from nice, and I tore through the woods after whatever stupid human had been dumb enough to venture outside in this weather.
I reached a clearing, and, far ahead, I saw him: a ranger. Venom pooled in my mouth – too much venom. I growled eagerly and prepared to attack.
Within a nanosecond of a second, I had managed to slam my feet into the ground, and my hands had destroyed several trees in an attempt to stop myself. The ranger heard the commotion, but I was too far away from him to see me properly, or the trees that had fallen. His attention faltered and he moved on.
The venom flowed at the scent and I growled, my chest vibrating loudly.
I can't waste venom like this!
My only thought was that the venom could be used on my family – to save them. The thought was accompanied by a painicked feeling. I produced the flask and spat repeatedly into it, letting the venom out of my mouth and collecting it. I hissed as I spat, struggling with the bloodlust versus my need to help my family. I controlled myself, my need to help my family far outweighing my own selfish needs.
Masochistically, I smelled the air, letting his scent overtake me, producing even more venom. I growled menacingly as I sucked the air dry from his scent. My jaw was hurting and everything within me wanted to attack him and drink him dry. But I couldn't. There were more vital things, one of which was the safety of my family. My venom made me stop. My venom was the most important thing I had to give to my family – I couldn't waste it on a human, and I could almost not waste it on myself.
As I stood, continuously spitting into a container, I found that I could look around my need to kill him. In a way, it made me feel much more in control of myself, which was a relief. So far, I felt like an animal when I hunted: out of control and aggressive, without being able to think clearly. As it stood, he was more valuable to me alive, as his scent allowed for my venom production to work on overtime.
Briefly, I wondered if I should abduct him, but realized that it would be too dangerous. Killing vampires was easy, as there were no trails leading anywhere, but a human man would be missed, he would be noticed. People would ask questions and I couldn't take the chance of risking any visits from humans.
A part of me knew that even the mere thought of abducting anyone should've made me uncomfortable. As a human, I had had solid values, but as a vampire, I felt all my values had gone out the window. I had to relearn everything.
I'd like to think that I would never have kidnapped him, but the truth was that had he been a lone, homeless person, and there would be little chance of anyone following up on the disappearance, I might've actually done it. The only thing that mattered was my family; I had no one left. I would do anything for them.
I tapped myself dry from venom. The innocent human was still ahead - blissfully unaware of how close he had been to losing his life.
My sanity came back to me gradually, and I decided I couldn't linger for much longer. There were threats somewhere that needed to be dealt with.
I stayed for just a short while longer, masochistically sniffing the air and spitting into the flask repeatedly, until the ranger moved on. I filled my flask to the brim, now, and I quickly killed a nearby animal and gathered its blood. I drank the leftovers, but it was distasteful compared to the mere scent of a human.
I gave the ranger's retreating car a last glance, before I sagged with relief. I had been reminded of Charlie, my own father. I felt like I had completely forgotten about him. As I considered him, I recalled Renee. Though it had apparently only been two months since I had been changed, I found that my human memories were fading. I tried to remember, since Edward had said that remembering early on would mean that I never forgot.
On my way back, I focused on remembering my parents and my time with them. I think it worked, since feelings started to overwhelm me. At first, it was easy to ignore the emotions, but as I reached the house I felt like I was in pain, grieving my parents and the loss both of us felt. They thought I was dead, and more than anything I wanted to call Charlie and ask for his help. I couldn't call him, though, and he couldn't help me. The only thing I could do was to clear my mind and be strong – my vampire family needed me, and now was not the time to wallow in self-pity. I had made a choice. Once this was over, Edward would tell me about my human life and remind me.
My thoughts strayed back to the run-in with the ranger. I was happy that I had been able to stop, and more than a bit impressed with myself. Edward had once said that upon changing, I would still be essentially me, but since I had been changed, I could hardly recognize myself. I didn't want to be angry, I didn't want to destroy the entire Volturi, I didn't want to imprison Corin, but I truly felt I had no choice in these matters, and a large part of me didn't mind doing these things. I didn't lose any sleep over it. Perhaps the indifference was what scared me the most. Despite being a vampire, I had thought my morals would be intact, but I could see how difficult it was to uphold the values I had had as a human.
Philosophically, I wondered if becoming a vampire was the same as being born. You start up as a blank slate, with only basic instincts. Sure, my instincts differed from a baby's, but both of us would have to learn patience, morals and all the other rules regarding code of conduct – or rather, I knew about the morals, I just had to learn to enforce them and accept them as a part of me.
Back home, I dropped Corin on the floor, keeping her subdued with her own gift. I quickly scurried to the attic to tend to my broken family. I was briefly ecstatic at the amount of venom I had produced, and I dropped quite a bit on all their limbs where they had been torn.
The container with animal blood was wafted around the room in a vague hope to entice their bodies. The smell seemed dull compared to the human smell.
"You know, I met a human," I revealed to Carlisle, as I tended his wounds.
"Oh no, you didn't, Bella!" I replied to myself with a deeper voice. I giggled lightly at my poor impersonation of Carlisle.
"I did meet a human," I laughed at my own silliness. "I didn't drink him. Aren't you proud of me, Edward?" I asked, as I poured some animal blood into his throat. It came out of the tear in his throat, just like last time.
"I'm always proud of you, Bella," I replied once more to myself, trying to imitate Edward. I started crying, and I wanted so much to bury my face in Edward's body, but I was afraid I would do more damage to his already damaged body.
For a while, I lay sobbing tearlessly near my family.
"You'll be fine… You just need time…" I wailed, quietly. The venom and the blood hadn't done anything.
My attempts at learning about my gift as well as going through Aro's memories, were put on hold for a short while. There was something far more important that needed to be dealt with, and soon. Corin had mentioned that the wives had gone with her – she hadn't wanted to leave them unprotected – since the only guards left were few and non-gifted.
"Where are they?" I asked, my tone insisting. Corin tried to refuse, but I doped her up on her own gift.
"They're at the resort in Alyeska, west of here…" Corin replied, dully. "They're waiting for me…" I felt my silent heart almost begin to beat due to anxiety. Before, I had fought instinctively, but now I had to consider a plan.
"What are their gifts?" I demanded.
"They have none…" Corin replied, still dull. I glanced out the window and towards the ceiling. I didn't like to leave my family for a longer period of time – or further away than I already had been. Using Google Maps, I tried to estimate the distance and the time I would need. What if someone had already found them? Corin hadn't been certain about where her masters had headed, only the general location, but she came close enough nonetheless. What if others came close while I was away? The smells in the house were obviously vampire, and a vampire stopping by would be curious immediately.
I bit my lip, making up my mind. I had no choice but to hurry and find the wives.
"Let's go," I told Corin, though not really caring about her reply. I dropped her into my backpack and subdued her. I checked on my family one last time, before I tore off towards Alyeska.
I had recently fed, and I was still a newborn, which served me well as I tore through the Alaskan terrain. I reached the resort fast, but the smell of humans tore through me and I quickly took off to gather myself for a second.
It occurred to me that I looked like crap. Since the night Volturi had attacked, I hadn't showered or changed my clothes – I hadn't even considered doing it. I had removed the worst grime in passing, but otherwise I hadn't bothered, as my focus had been on other matters.
Now, though, I came to regret that decision. The resort looked expensive, and I looked like hell. Not far from me there was water running, so I quickly hurried down to the creek and washed myself. My clothes were washed quickly as well, and with my speed it was damp by the time I got back to the resort, rather than completely wet. Luckily, it was dark, so I could go mostly unnoticed.
The smells as I came closer to the resort were almost unbearable. I wanted so much to eat them, especially since I hadn't brought my flasks with me.
However, my meeting with the ranger had prepared me, and I was better equipped at handling the smells and keeping a level head.
Killing them will attract attention - unwanted attention! I tried to remind myself what I was doing, but with each step, the smells seemed to threaten to overwhelm me.
Edward… Alice… Carlisle… Esme… Jasper… Emmett… Rosalie… Eleazar… Carmen… Tanya… Kate… Irina…
The names rebounded in my head as I focused. They were my priority, they were important. I had to be strong for them. If I ate the humans there would be consequences.
"Corin, which room are the wives in?" I whispered, easing up on her gift.
"314…" Corin whispered dazedly.
The reception was empty, save for a single clerk. I doped him with Corin's gift, perhaps a bit too eagerly, and he fell to the ground, unconscious. I let him be and hurried on. I tried to walk at human speed, but it was difficult. It seemed so absurd to me and unnecessary, but I forced myself to be calm, not breathe, and go slow.
I reached 314 easily and knocked.
"I'm here on Corin's behalf," I whispered quietly, lying. Corin's gift was seeping through the door, enveloping the wives. There was silence on the other side for a brief second, before I heard the light sounds of a vampire moving.
The door opened and a female vampire stood before me. Her hair was messy and dark, and her eyes shone ruby red. She looked like a girl, perhaps 16 or 17, but definitely not much older than that. Somehow, considering her actual age, I had expected more of a woman. The part of never aging was quite surreal to me, still. Her skin was powdery and, in a way, she looked very fragile. It was an odd thing to see a vampire look like, since we usually looked so strong and impenetrable.
Her entire demeanor seemed subdued and quiet, and I had only lightly touched her with Corin's ability. I guessed that Aro and Caius preferred subdued women.
The other woman in the room looked just as fragile as the first. This one was fair-haired, though. They wore robes, rather than human clothes – obviously not even bothering to blend it. The Volturi crest was embroidered onto their chests. I had no idea which one of them was who.
"You're here to kill us." The fair-haired woman spoke with certainty, startling me. For a moment I worried that she wasn't affected by Corin's ability, as she had seemed so resolved. I kept an eye out for danger.
"Yes," I admitted. I didn't like all this talking. I prepared to add more of Corin's gift on them.
"Very well, then…" The other woman replied calmly, and sat by the fair-haired on the bed.
"What?" I stared at them confused. I glanced around me quickly to see if there were anyone ready to jump me.
"Please be quick about it," the fair-haired vampire asked me. Her voice held relief, accepting of her fate. I noticed how both seemed resolved and ready, and I didn't understand why.
"You want me to kill you?" I wondered, apprehensively.
"That was your plan." The dark-haired woman, or girl, looked up at me, clearly confused as to why I didn't kill them. Her gaze felt disturbing. She looked so young, and yet there was the typical vampire-aura. She reminded me of the freakish little girls in horror movies.
"Corin's been gone for a while…" The fair-haired wife said, calmly. "Her effect dissipated and left us more aware…" She sighed. I had no idea what this meant. It didn't explain anything to me. It didn't explain why their attitudes seemed to welcome death.
"My husband, Aro, is dead… And so is Caius," Sulpicia said, revealing her identity. Despite the revelation that she knew, Sulpicia did not seem too upset – and Corin's ability was only just touching her lightly. I worried it was a ploy, and kept a distance from them both, and I was ready to use Corin's gift on full force if I needed it.
"How did you know?" I wondered. I worried someone had told them. In my mind's eye I saw all the loose ends that seemed to flail in the wind while I tried assiduously to grab them.
"It feels so empty…" Sulpicia looked away, clearly pained and for once showing a true emotion. Her hands balled into fist. I recognized her pain, but I refused to think like her. Edward was not dead. Edward would be fine!
"Did you kill Corin as well?" Athenodora wondered, with composed curiosity. Again, none of the two women spoke with any passion – she might as well have asked about the weather.
"Yes," I lied. I didn't like where this was headed. They were supposed to put up a fight. The actual killing was supposed to happen instinctively, so that I didn't have to think so much. Now, I was thinking and feeling and it was scaring me. I tried to focus on Edward – I had to protect him.
"You have to come with me now," I demanded. Corin's gift took a hold on them lightly, and they rose. I wanted to keep them aware enough to ask them questions, but subdued enough to follow my lead.
I lead the wives out of the resort and into the woods, where we picked up pace. I wanted to go down wind, so that when I burned the pieces, the smoke with stay hidden within the forest. The wives were quiet as we ran, which unnerved me endlessly. Their attitude made me unable to think of any questions to ask.
Eventually, we stopped and they turned to me. They seemed somewhat unaffected by Corin's gift, and I feared they had lured me into a trap. I prepared for a fight and I crouched down.
"Don't worry, we won't fight you," Athenodora assured me, calmly, as if she could read my mind. My growl died in my throat.
"Why?" I whispered, confused. "Why are you letting me do this? I can tell that you're not much affected by my gift," I told her, lying about Corin's gift being my own.
"We have been used to that gift for many, many years," Sulpicia replied, smiling very softly. "Even without it, we won't run." I stared at them confused.
"You want to die?" I asked, serious. "You're not going to fight me?" I was apprehensive. I eased up Corin's gift, wondering if that's what made them so complacent. They seemed too complacent.
"You don't understand …" Sulpicia glanced at Athenodora sadly. Despite not being touched by Corin's ability, Sulpicia and Athenodora didn't change their view.
"Explain?" I asked, uncertain.
"We just want to be free…" Athenodora supplied, grasping Sulpicia's hand in silent comfort. She sat down on her knees and bared her neck, and Sulpicia followed her. I was still not certain that this wasn't a trick, so all my senses were ready and aware.
It was strange. As they sat now, prepared and willing to die in front of me, without even asking questions, I wanted them to live. I wanted to understand why they were so willing to die. The truth was, however, that with the sparse information I had already gathered from Aro, I knew somewhat what they meant when they said they wanted to be free.
"Come now," Sulpicia asked, quietly. I knew I didn't have a choice – not really. I couldn't take them with me, as I didn't trust them and I couldn't jeopardize the safety of my family, nor could I let them leave considering the amount of information they had.
I flitted to stand behind them, and then I overwhelmed them with Corin's gift, hoping to make it easier for them.
I felt tense and anxious as I tore off their heads, but there had been no secret ploy, and the two wives fell to the ground, headless. I was quick to make a small pyre, and then I spread the ashes and the snow to ensure no vampire would find it and wonder.
On the way back, I started to sob tearlessly. My chest heaved uncontrollably. I felt so overwhelmed by the emotions the wives had displayed, or rather lack of it, as well as the entire situation.
I only managed to check that my family was safe and unharmed, just as when I had left them, and then I fell to the floor, crying hysterically. Aro's memories took over, and I let myself succumb to the vast and painful memories.
When Athenodora had said she and Sulpicia had wanted to be free, I had had a pretty good idea of what they meant. However, seeing it through Aro's point of view was painful. They never wondered who I was or what had happened to their mates; the only thing that had mattered was that their mates were gone.
With Aro, it always came down to jealousy.
He had met Caius and Athenodora, and not much later Marcus. They shared a passionate view and created to Volturi together and took over the vampire world. However, Aro was always jealous, and he always sought what made him stronger. Not many years later, he changed his own sister, Didyme, hoping that her gift would be useful to him. However, Didyme's gift was making people happy, and Aro found little use for that.
He couldn't ignore the jealousy of seeing Caius and Marcus so happy, so Aro began to look for his own mate. Looking was a strong word, though, as he designed her himself. He found a human girl with the qualities he sought, and then he molded her into the perfect mate for him. When she was old enough, he turned her. Sulpicia was specifically created for the purpose of being his wife and mate.
Their love flourished at first, but his devotion to power and the role as a leader of the vampire world changed things.
When Marcus and Didyme planned to leave, Aro killed his own sister to keep Marcus around. This destroyed Marcus, and realizing how much losing a mate could actually affect a vampire, Aro did his best to keep Sulpicia safe – to such a degree that he kept her locked up, allowing her few visitors other than himself.
In Aro's memories, it was extremely obvious how a vampire's mate could be used against them, and Aro strove to ensure that such a thing could never happen. In his endeavor, he destroyed his own mate by breaking her down more and more. He might as well have killed her. Corin's existence had been to soften things, but it had been far too late already then.
I couldn't imagine the horrors of being tied to someone you despised, but this was what seemed to happen with Sulpicia. There was little love and affection, almost no sex at all, and when they did have sex, it was raw and wild, but dispassionate. Their bond was needy, based solely on their mate-ship, but that was it. They needed each other to survive, but other than that, there was nothing. I felt traumatized at seeing Sulpicia wither in Aro's memories, and seeing how he only cared for her safety, which, in reality, was more about his own safety, since losing her would pain him.
Sulpicia hated her prison, but was forced to feel content due to Corin, which over time wore her down.
Athenodora had much the same experience, from what I could tell from Aro's memories. Aro had met Caius and Athenodora before meeting Sulpicia, and I saw the happiness Caius and Athenodora shared, and I saw how she was worn down in her prison in Volterra. I wondered what Caius had thought about it. He had once looked so happy.
I wept at the life the wives had lived, and I wept at the lost opportunity to punish Aro and Caius. I wept at the lost opportunity to tell Marcus the truth, and to set him free. I wept when I realized how Aro had murdered his own sister, blaming the Romanians, and I wept when I saw the shell of a man that Marcus turned into.
With Aro, it all came down to jealousy.
There were so many memories. Could vampires get a headache? I felt like my head was exploding…
The memories seemed to die down and come to an end. I knew there was much more information I was lacking, but I had only touched Aro for a few seconds, which seemed to be my luck. Perhaps 'luck' was too positive, considering what I had seen. I forced the memories from my mind, simply unable to deal with all the horrors of Aro's life. If I thought his dealings with his own mate had been bad, but it was nothing next to what he had done to other vampires under his rule.
Eventually, I woke up from my self-imposed mental imprisonment. Aro's memories were still scattered in my mind, but I had now viewed them all and they wouldn't threaten to overwhelm me again. I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but I naturally freaked out and worried that my family was unsafe.
"I'm sorry I haven't been here," I told Edward. "Being a vampire is so hard," I added with a slight whine. "I forget the time; I lose so much of it… I can't seem to…" I fell silent, unable to express my frustrations.
"I am here now," I finally added. "I will get you some dinner – or lunch or breakfast, depending on what time it is." I glanced towards the window. It was raining a bit and it wasn't entirely dark. Perhaps it was afternoon. "I'll get you some dinner. You'll be fine soon. I love you – all of you," I reminded them. "See you in a bit…" I slipped out from the attic and quickly gathered Corin.
Two things occurred to me right then. Corin was awfully quiet, and I couldn't feel her gift.
I panicked. I ripped the backpack apart, and exhaled sharply. Corin lay in the backpack, but she was obviously dead.
Somehow, I had assumed that the killing blow would be to remove her head, but I realized now that perhaps without her arms and legs, Corin's venom couldn't circulate, or whatever it did. I had fed her, but that hadn't seemed to be enough.
A strange, detached and rational part of me found this incredibly interesting, as it seemed to point towards the venom needing circulation, and without it the vampire would die. I had no idea how the venom circulated, since our hearts didn't beat, but somehow it must be like a human bleeding to death – except I never saw the venom dissipate, and neither my family nor Corin changed consistency when dying, like a human seemed to do. There was no rotting flesh, no decaying of the flesh. They just stopped being. She looked like a cracked porcelain doll. I had so many more questions. Blood flowed to distribute nutrients, so did that mean it was the same with venom? Where did the venom go if you pulled an arm off? I never saw Corin bleed.
I didn't have enough information to conclude anything, and my ponderings were very basic, since I generally lacked knowledge on the subject of advanced biology.
Of course, a more important part was that I didn't have time to consider it, since my family lay upstairs in pieces.
I wailed for a brief second in frustration at being so easily distracted. I regained my senses and forced myself to focus.
I had to burn Corin. I had no plans on wasting time, venom, and blood on her, so her existence was a burden. I quickly built a small fire and watched as her body turned to ash. As I watched, I started realizing that I was now, once more, completely unprotected.
I tried to focus on my list. I had somewhat gotten to know my gift. Further study would be impossible without another gifted vampire, and I was lacking in that department.
I had gone through Aro's memories, and, while most of it was locked away and ignored, I was now no longer threatened with being overwhelmed by them. I still needed to process them all and learn what he had learned.
There was something important I had to add to the list, something that should've occurred to me a while ago
For two months, Carlisle hadn't shown up at work and no one had contacted us about it. This worried me, because I had no idea why that was. Under normal circumstances, Carlisle's colleagues should've wondered and probably come by.
And speaking of humans, I had yet to see any mail man. I was pretty sure I would have noticed if a mail man dropped by – or any other human.
Most importantly, staying in the house was getting too dangerous. If Corin could find me, so could other vampires. We would have to leave. As this dawned on me, I also realized that the best way to go would be to the Denali home. It was far enough from here that I might be able to hide – if only for a little while. I just needed to get away.
"Carlisle, do you think we should go to Denali or somewhere else entirely?" I asked, worried. "Is it far enough away? Where should we go?" I fretted anxiously.
"Bella, we can go to the Denali home. We can be safe enough for a while, just while we make new plans… Besides, it not like you can rent a hotel - you can't run around with 12 dead vampire bodies…" I mimicked Carlisle, poorly.
"Good thinking," I replied to myself. "I should probably quit your job – just in case anyone begins to speculate…" I added.
"This is the Alaska Regional Hospital, how may I direct your call?" The question was innocent enough, but I felt completely surprised. For some reason, I was overwhelmed at the thought of speaking with a human on the phone. It seemed completely surreal to me.
Barely a second had passed and the human hadn't noticed my silence. "It's regarding Doctor Carlisle Cullen," I said, almost uncertain. I wondered if I should speak to HR.
"I'm sorry, but Doctor Cullen doesn't work here anymore," the receptions replied, quickly. I frowned, confused.
"What? Are you sure?" It seemed weird that he would be fired without anyone checking up on him.
"Doctor Cullen's position was very short, and he left a few weeks before Christmas," the receptionist replied.
"Oh…" I fell silent. "Do you know why?" I wondered.
"I'm not privileged to that information," the receptionist replied.
"Thank you." I hung up. Why had Carlisle quit his job? Had he done it as a precaution? Or had he known he wouldn't be back? I couldn't imagine he had known – he had relied so much on Alice's vision. And yet, this was just so convenient for me.
As that thought occurred to me, I flitted outside to check the mailbox further down the road. It was empty. I knew everyone subscribed to various magazines, so why was the mailbox empty? Was I overthinking things? Was it just a coincidence? What about the house, how was that paid for? Was it paid for in advance or would someone come by?
The thoughts stressed me out, because I had currently no way of knowing. Briefly, I wished I had touched Aro for a longer period of time – perhaps I would then have seen the lives of the people Aro had touched – including Carlisle.
We have to move. It was my only conclusion. I had no idea how compromised my current location was, whether it be due to humans or vampires, but I knew I had to leave. I couldn't take the chance of someone beginning to wonder. The lack of foresight frustrated me – my family was in danger and I didn't use my brain. I should've moved us the moment I had killed the Volturi. I couldn't rely on luck, as I apparently had so far. It was only then that I realized how crazy and mentally numb I'd been that I hadn't even considered these things. What if he hadn't left his job? Humans would've looked for him! What if others came to look for Corin? Did anyone know the Volturi had perished? My lack of foresight could've have endangered us all.
I am overwhelmed by your reviews. Thank you so much!
Some might wonder why the wives gave up so easily, and I want to say that once their mates died, they didn't care any longer. Their lives had been so horrible, and to stay alive for even just a few more minutes just to 'understand' was pointless to them. They just wanted it to be over.
I hope you don't mind the pacing. There's still a lot to do, and Bella is definitely going to dance around the event horizon of her own sanity.
Thank you.
