A/N: Update time!
Randy stared out the window as the bus sped along the dark highway. The images of other moving cars and of the moving landscape blurred in front of his eyes and he sighed. He could hear John moving around in the main part of the bus, his laughter as he chatted with their longtime bus driver drifting back to him. Randy's eyes lowered to look down at the shorts he had slid on once on the bus. He traced his fingers around the hem, his mind still focused on Cody's taunts from earlier in the night. Without warning, a random memory from years earlier popped into his head.
"Shouldn't this rehab place be monitoring your phone calls, Orton? I mean, how many more of these am I gonna have to endure for the next couple months?"
Randy rolled his eyes and gripped the telephone tightly, his free hand shaking slightly as he ran it through his hair. "You could just stop picking up the phone, dumbass. I know you won't, though,"
"Is that so? Why won't I?" asked John, a small laugh escaping him.
"Well, you haven't so far," Randy replied back mockingly. "I think you get a hard on from me telling you how much of a piece of shit you are."
"Of course I do, Randy. Isn't that just what I would want to hear after so many years of friendship?" replied John sarcastically.
"Don't talk to me about years of friendship, Cena. You're the one who turned your back on me. I'm in this shithole and it's your doing! You could've talked Vince out of sending me here! You could've convinced Sam to not do this to me but you didn't! You agreed with everyone to send me here and screwed me in the process!"
"Yeah, I screwed you," interrupted John. "It had nothing to do with your wife finding you practically dead on your kitchen floor, right?"
"Fuck you, John," snarled Randy. He banged his free hand on the wall beside the payphone and rested his pounding head on the base of the phone. "You know the real reason you did this to me. You've always wanted me as more than a friend and I never gave in to it so you decided to get me back by fucking up my marriage, my career and committing me to this fucking hole! That's why you helped them all do this! Because you couldn't accept the fact that I couldn't be with someone as pathetic as you!"
John laughed in his ear. "Keep telling yourself that, Ran."
"And you keep pretending like it's not true," replied Randy. "There's no way I'm ever going to see you as anything other than the pathetic John that used to follow me around like a little puppy just hoping I would give him a taste. You know I'm too good for you."
"I don't see how you could see yourself as the better man in this situation, Randy. You're locked up in a rehab while I'm out living my life,"
"What life could you possibly have without me?" asked Randy with a scoff. "I'm not around so you can't follow me around like my little lapdog anymore."
"Oddly enough, you're right. I realized I had been dedicating myself just a bit too much to you and all your drama so now that you're gone, I have plenty of time to dedicate to myself…and I'm enjoying it. While you're locked behind rehab doors, I'm discovering what it's like to be with normal people; people who don't need to get plastered and high every night to feel something and people who value a true friend when they see one."
Randy rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. Shut the fuck up, St. John. You make me physically sick."
"Well, I'm sorry I do," replied John somberly.
"God, you're just so fucking pathetic. I don't even know why I call you," said Randy angrily.
"Neither do I yet you continue to call me every night,"
"Then stop fucking picking up the phone, John,"
"I can't, Randy. If this is what it takes to make you better then I'll subject myself to it. Call me every night and tell me how pathetic I am and how I let you down and how you could never love me…I'll do whatever it takes to get you better. Even if that means getting you better means you no longer want me in your life,"
Randy let his eyes close and he sighed deeply, the anger gone from his body now. "Why did you let them put me in here? Why didn't you take me somewhere? We could've gone away together and I could've gotten better. You could've made me better, Johnny."
"I can't make you better, Randy. You have to do it on your own. You have to want to do it for yourself." John's voice pleaded with him over the phone. "You have so many people who love you and need you, including me. We don't want to see you destroy yourself but we can't force you not to. It has to come out of you, baby."
Randy's eyes narrowed and he shook his head. "Forget it. You're just useless; absolutely good for nothing. I can't depend on you. I just want you out of my life."
"Ran, please don't say things like that. I know you don't mean it but they still hurt. Please, Ran…"
"Fuck off, John,"
"Hey, whatcha thinking about?"
Randy looked up and smiled, shaking his head at John's question. "Just reliving some of my greatest hits," he mumbled sarcastically.
John frowned and reached for Randy's hand, linking their fingers. "What are you talking about? Does this have something to do with your little moment at gorilla earlier? I wasn't going to pry but I gotta admit I'm curious to know where that came from."
Randy slowly nodded. "It's OK. I knew you would want to talk about it."
"Only if you want, though," replied John quickly.
Randy shrugged, his head lowering once more. He looked at his fingers interlocked with John's and let the silence linger for a few minutes. "It's my fault. I just let Cody get the best of me…and after that lecture I gave you about not letting him get to you."
"We're only human, Ran. We're gonna react to certain triggers and it's gonna take some time to learn not to," John smiled and let his fingers stroke the inside of Randy's thigh. Randy bit the inside of his lip as John smoothed over his skin. "He said some stuff and it just made me remember how horrible I was to you years ago, when I was in the rehab."
John frowned and shook his head. "Randy, why are you thinking about that? That was so long ago, baby. We moved past that."
"Not if it's still getting to me," Randy sighed and looked back out the window. "All it took was Cody reminding me today of how I threw myself at him to make me remember how horrible I was to you in there. My God, I would call you just so I could talk to you like shit every night and feel a little better about myself."
"Baby, stop doing that to yourself…"
"John," interrupted Randy. "Cody is right. I threw myself at him that night and I told him how I wanted to be with him. I remember it clearly. I've tried to push it away but I just can't but…you weren't in my head at that moment with Cody. It's like you didn't exist." He looked at John and shook his head. "It wasn't me who did it, though. Please tell me you understand what I mean by that."
"Of course I know that! If I didn't know that, I wouldn't be here right now!" John tugged Randy closer to him, their legs touching. "You weren't yourself because you weren't in your right mind, Ran. You had taken something and it changed you. It always changed you. Every time you took something you became like a different Randy; the one that felt he didn't deserve anything but what the drugs provided for him. The drugs made you feel invincible; like the strongest guy in the world who nothing or no one could hurt and who needed no one. The reality was, though, that if you were so strong, you wouldn't have needed the drugs so badly in the first place. All they did was bring out your insecurities, Ran which for some reason, included some about us as a couple."
"We've been over that," mumbled Randy under his breath. "I don't want to go over it again."
"We don't have to," answered John quickly. "You're better now and that's all that matters."
"Then why can Cody still trigger me so quickly?" asked Randy.
"Because he's good at being an asshole and we both need to get better at letting assholes not get to us. I think as long as we're honest about it, though and where our relationship stands, we'll get there one day." John smiled, his fingers still on Randy's skin. "We already have half the battle won, anyway."
Randy raised an eyebrow, his eyes darting down to look at John's hand as it disappeared under his shorts. "We have?"
"Yeah," John's smile widened. "You know I'm not gonna leave you for some perfect Stepford husband and I know you're not gonna leave me for some wild child type husband. We've realized we're meant for each other."
Randy sighed softly. "I guess…" He smiled at John's face instantly dropping and quickly reached for his hand. "Just kidding, babe. Now, let me see those wandering fingers of yours…"
John twirled his fingers around Randy's, a little annoyed to have been pulled away from the younger man's leg. He didn't protest, knowing Randy didn't do it out of anger or spite but out of a will to not let things proceed further.
"Johnny, I just don't want us to do anything we're gonna regret…" started Randy, tightening his hand around John's.
"I know! Trust me, I know. I was just thinking the same thing," responded John quickly. He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry for trying to cop a cheap feel,"
"Hey, if I really minded I would've pulled your hand away a long ago." Randy smiled and lifted John's hands to his lips, brushing a gentle kiss over his knuckles. He looked at the watch on his hand and sighed. "Can we go to bed now? I just want this day to end already."
John groaned and shook his head. "No."
"No, what?" asked Randy with a frown.
"We're going home to Tampa and I have lunch scheduled with Dwayne and I just don't want to do it. If I don't go to sleep then maybe tomorrow will never come…" John let his eyes close as he rested his head on the cool plate-glass window.
Randy smiled and tugged John forward, letting the older man's head fall to his chest. "Hey, where's my Super Cena? You're gonna let a lunch with that diva freak you out? He's nothing, Johnny."
"He's a little too…" John frowned, desperately trying to think of the correct word. "A little too intense for my liking; especially lately."
"Hmm," murmured Randy in agreement.
John raised his head from Randy's chest and smiled. "But you've always known that, haven't you?"
"I've only ever known what I feel, John. That's why I want you to make your own decision about him based on how you feel. Whether it be cutting him out because you truly believe there's something off about him or realizing that it was all in our heads and choosing to befriend him," Randy bent down, letting his nose brush over John's. "And I trust you to make that decision starting tomorrow at lunch."
"Befriend him? I doubt it. I just don't want to work with him and I don't want to talk to him and have lunch with him and pretend like this is something I'm going to enjoy. I just want him to disappear out of my life." whined John.
"Stop it. He's just a guy; a guy who means nothing to you like half the other guys you've worked with over the years. Do the job then and cut him off. It's kind of simple, John." replied Randy.
John rolled his eyes. "I still don't know. I may need a little more encouragement."
"Don't push it, Cena," Randy smiled and moved his lips over John's briefly.
John smiled and lifted his hand to Randy's face, smoothing over the side gently. "That was nice but not what I meant."
"So, then what do you want?" replied Randy, his tone deepening.
"You…in bed," whispered John.
Randy's eyes widened and he pulled back. "John,"
"I mean to sleep!" added John quickly, a laugh escaping him. "I just want us to sleep together. I need a good night's sleep and I always get one when we're together. It's been months I don't sleep well. It's a miracle I don't have bags under my eyes to rival Punk's."
"Oh," Randy turned over, his eyes on the large bed that he and John once did share. "I guess just sleeping would be OK." He stood up and tugged John towards the bed, reaching behind him to shut off the light.
The men settled themselves in the big bed, some awkwardness lingering now that they were together once more in what used to be a familiar situation. John placed the covers over his lower half but remained straight, unsure if he should turn over to Randy.
Randy could feel the tension radiating from John's body and smiled to himself. He knew John was frustrated; hell, so was he. Living together as a couple and sharing the affection of a couple but stopping when they got to the bedroom was not fun. However, as uncomfortable as it was for the men, it was working and both Randy and John knew they would do whatever it took to get their marriage back to normal.
"John,"
John looked to his right at Randy's call. "Yeah,"
"Turn over," Randy said with a smile.
John turned his body to the side, still leaving a small gap between the men. Randy reached his hand forward to rest on John's chest. ""Take off your shirt. I wanna feel you."
"What? Really?" asked John, his eyes wide.
Randy laughed softly and nodded. "I figure we'll sleep better like that." He sat up and quickly took off his own t-shirt before lying back down.
John smiled and lifted his body off momentarily, peeling his t-shirt off his body. Randy reached his hand out to trace John's chest lightly. John took his hand, kissing his fingertips before pulling him in close to his body so their skin was touching. Randy closed his eyes as John traced his fingers up his face.
"Isn't this better?" he murmured.
John smiled and sighed. "I don't know yet. It could also be a worse form of torture. I don't know how I'm supposed to lay here with you and just go to sleep."
Randy laughed gently. "You can do it, Super Cena."
John shrugged. "I don't know…it's hard to stay away from you, baby."
Randy smiled and wrapped his arm around John's back, caressing it slowly. "Trust me; I know the feeling."
John closed his eyes as Randy made himself comfortable on his chest. He felt the younger man's chest slow down as his breathing evened out. He looked down and saw Randy's eyes closed, the man now resting peaceful, and he bent forward to place a kiss on his forehead. He ran his fingers over Randy's face and saw his lips curved into a smile.
"I'm trying to sleep, Cena. Are you trying to distract me?"
John smiled and ran his fingertips over Randy's lips. "No, if I was trying to distract you, I would move my hands lower."
Randy's smile widened and his eyes cracked open. "Promises, promises..."
John raised an eyebrow and stared into Randy's eyes as he moved his hand down his side to his hips. He ran a finger over the crotch of Randy's pajamas and the younger man's eyes fluttered closed.
"John,"
"Randy," John replied teasingly before leaning forward and pressing his lips to Randy, who leaned into the kiss. He moved his hand to cup John's neck and pull him forward. John's hands lingered on Randy's hips, stroking the skin above and around his crotch.
John moaned as Randy caressed his neck down to his shoulders until they finally broke apart, breathing heavily.
"All right, stop. I can't take anymore." Randy groaned as he buried his head in John's neck.
John smiled and moved his hands up to stroke Randy's back. "I know, baby. Soon,"
Randy pulled back and nodded, smiling as he leaned forward to kiss John again. "I love you, Johnny. I want nothing more than to get us back to normal."
John nodded. "I know. I love you, too."
He pulled Randy in close to him and kissed his lips gently, the kiss melting into a long, deep, kiss within seconds. He ran his hands over Randy's back, the younger man moaning into his mouth as his own hands began to explore John's body. Randy pulled him in close so their groins touched. John groaned as he felt his hips react automatically, grinding down on Randy's crotch, their hardened members rubbing against one another through the soft fabric of their pajama bottoms.
They broke off again, panting.
John rolled away from Randy and lay on his back. "OK, so we really have to stop this time."
Randy nodded and sighed loudly. "Yeah. Let's just get some sleep, OK." He smiled and slowly turned his body to look at John. "You've got a big day tomorrow."
John groaned and shook his head. "Don't remind me, please!"
Randy laughed softly and nodded. "Fine. Don't think about it but just know that I know you will be fine. I have so much faith in you and in us, Johnny."
He laid his head on John's chest and felt his arms wrap around him tightly. "Me, too, baby. It's what's keeping me going."
John closed his eyes and tried to sleep but the knot in his stomach wouldn't let him. He knew that even now with Randy in his arms, sleep would still elude him.
A/N: REVIEW, please!
A/N: Had to mention Punk's eyebags because OMG, he's a beautiful boy but he desperately needs to relax with some cucumber slices over his eyes at one point!
