It's been three years since The Phantomhive's triangle of love has ceased. Ciel, now 16, is in a local park fishing with his betrothed, Elizabeth, who just turned 16. Fishing season is almost over and the two decided to take this time for one last hunt before the fall weather kicked in. It's early September and this was one of the free days that Ciel had had free from his tutors and meetings. He hadn't changed much, just gotten slightly taller and a little more irritable. Elizabeth on the other hand, whose birthday was a little more than a week ago, had changed a little more. Her body had filled out, her hair had been cut recently and she was more aware of situations. Yet, she kept her bubbly mentality and girlish charm. She had started going to a prestigious private school there in England and was fairly excited, as she now the opportunity to see her fiancé more often. In the last three years, she and Ciel had grown somewhat closer. But why not? He was no longer occupied from the responsibility of choosing between her and Sebastian, who kept his word and remained by his side, but just not in that way. It's almost as if things had gone back to normal for the Estate. Too normal.
Elizabeth's line begins to tug and her face lights up. "Ohh! Ciel!" She called out, "I think I caught one!" He looks at her struggle as she pulls up her stick and reveals a small fish at the end of it. "I've caught it! I've caught it!" She exclaims in joy as she jumps and dances, holding her spoils. "That's good, Lizzie," he speaks, "You're getting rather good at this." "Yep, all thanks to you, Ciel." He blushes and keeps his eyes on the water. Seems as if she has been the only one collecting on the exploit. Ciel grows irritated and soon decides to give up, pulling up his man-made fishing rod. "It's getting late," he says, looking up at the clouds, while turning and walking away, "We should head back." "But it's not that late." "Plus, it's about to rain." And as he parts his lips, lightning cracks the sky with a sound of thunder and a flash down-pour begins. Lizzie covers her head with her fish and runs to catch up with Ciel, who isn't worried about being wet.
They come closer toward the manner, being drenched in the storm with every step. Soon, they arrive to the Estate and step through the front door. "Ah, hello, my lord," Sebastian speaks, as he watches Elizabeth ring out the end of her dress. "Sebastian, see to that Lizzie has a change of clothes and is sent home." "Yes, my lord," he commends as Ciel starts up the steps. "But, Ciel, you're just going to send me home?" she calls out, catching his attention, "I thought maybe I could spend the night tonight." He smiles and walks back down toward her. She smiles and he kisses her on the cheek. "Not tonight, ok?" She pouts. She was looking forward to getting trapped in the storm with her love. "Ok. Next time then?" she asked. "Yes," he says with a smile, "Perhaps next time." Honestly, Ciel didn't feel like having company. He had always grown depressed toward the end of the year. With his birthday and holidays coming closer, he couldn't stand having a smile on his face for too long. Adding to the fact that these were the months when he had began to feel his love for Sebastian blossom, and you have a 16 year old who doesn't wish to be bothered or to bother anyone with his mental state. He would sit in his room on end, watching Sebastian come and go and not show an ounce of what they had toward him. Maybe he had forgotten and it was time for him to forget too.
Sebastian says goodbye as he closes the door to Elizabeth's chariot and watches it ride away. The rain poured and seemed not to have a let up in sight. The butler hurries back into the manor, wishing not to get too wet and track substances inside. He couldn't help but release a sigh of relief that Elizabeth was gone now. Since the ending of their love affair, it seems almost as if she had been over more often, on invitation that is. They spent much more time together than ever. But that could be because their wedding was less than 2 years away. The thought of that scared him. The fact that one minute he felt his warm touch against his skin and the next, he was gone, casted out and made to make a decision. But that's the way it had to be, and what Sebastian had insisted in the first place. Why keep something that leads neither of them anywhere going? Because it makes them happy? And just to have it ripped from his arms one minute and dangled over his head the next, feeling like a fool with every attempt of passion there was. And it killed him inside that things had changed. Over the last year, they had been more disconnected from each other than ever before. Neither one of them wanted to break the silence, yet both felt empty inside and wanted the other to be happy. Sebastian once again places his feelings to the side and proceeds into the kitchen where he prepares the young master's tea.
Ciel sits on the floor in front of the fireplace in his drenched clothes, just thinking. Times like these when he's given time to think, all that's on his mind is the older one, his heart beating fast as if it were their encounter all over again. Sebastian slowly rolls the tea into his bedroom with a smile. "Young master," he calls out, "I've brought you some tea." "Took you long enough," he spoke in a low but understanding tone. "Is there something wrong, my lord?" Ciel sat there for a moment and took in a deep breath. He had to remember that they couldn't be because it made Sebastian happy to see him happy. But in actuality, it pained them both. "Young Master?" "I heard you." He stood up and grabbed the cup of tea that had been poured for him, "I'm fine." "Yes, sir," he answered, "Were you waiting for me to help you out of your clothes?" Ciel places the cup on the cart and turns his back toward him. "No, I'm not a child," he snapped, "I just needed a minute." Sebastian could do nothing but smile. His bitterness did nothing but become more apparent with age. Ciel removes his shirt while staring out the window and watching the rain pour while Sebastian watches him. His skin tightens and his body warms as he watches Ciel unveil his skin. "Ciel…"
He takes his time changing into his pajamas as he always did, letting his mind fill with thoughts instead of the task at hand and Sebastian loved the sight. It had been so long since he had touched his skin it made his blood boil and his body shiver. Why couldn't control his urges like he once could? He bits his lips and becomes aroused but leaves before Ciel can take notice. He walks down the hallway, slowly leaning his shoulder against the wall and his breath shortening. "I can't keep doing this," he thought as his head began to spin, "But I can't allow myself to open that back up again. He has to be happy without me." He takes a minute to collect himself, and then he proceeds down the hallway." "Sebastian!" He turns around to see Ciel standing in the hallway. "Why'd you leave?" "I have to go fetch your dinner, my lord," he spoke while continuing his stride, "I shall present it to you in a few moments." Ciel returned to his room and watched the rain. All this for one person? It just seemed that these three years could have possible been wasted on false promises. The promise that one of them would be ready before the other and they would take the jump. But he was scared. Elizabeth was growing older, and their wedding growing closer. Who was he kidding? Within minutes, Sebastian arrived with his dinner. "I've returned," he presented closing the door behind him, "Tonight's dinner consist of a garden salad with chicken, apples, and garden vegetables, with a side of chicken broth and a vintage white wine. And for dessert, a slice of Key Lime Pie." Ciel swung his legs over his bed to face his butler as he handed his tray of food. "Is there anything else you need, my lord?" Ciel takes a minute to think. It felt just like the night after everything ended, raining and dense. He couldn't take it from his mind. "Sebastian…do you miss it?" The butler shocked face couldn't take his eyes off the Earl. Where did this come from? "Ciel…?" "I'm just asking." As much as if longed for him to express how he felt, he couldn't take the fact that he could possibly hurt him. He smiles and turns toward the door. "It's too late for that, young master," he spoke, "You should eat your dinner." "Yes," the young one chokes, having a single tear drop in his broth, "I suppose your right." The butler proceeds out the door and closes it behind him.
This is how it had been. They would say nothing, longing each other's touch, but too cowardly to leap forward. But The Phantomhive name was to be uplifted, and in two years, he would marry Elizabeth Midford and there would be no more thoughts of the time they shared. Or at least there aren't supposed to be much thought.
After dinner, Ciel places his legs in his bed and lays there for a while. He wasn't tired but just couldn't seem to wrap his mind around the thought of moving on from his demonic addiction. Sebastian enters the room, grabs the cart and without a word, leaves. He couldn't stand being in the same room as him for too long and not feel the pit of his stomach start to attack him. He wanted to feel his skin again. To hold him while he sleeps, even to just simply speak the words, I love you. But that was over now. No matter how many flash backs played through their mind. That night, Sebastian lay motionless in his bed, with his hand pressed against the space beside him. "Three years," he thought, "it's been three years and I regret my decision every day. Listen to the way I sound. Human. I sound human. As if I have feelings; as if I love. As if someone would love me. I knew it would never be when it began, so this should be no surprise of the aftermath. But even though I already know, nothing could prepare me for this feeling of emptiness." As much as he wished these emotions would disappear like they once did, they couldn't be locked away as continued to remember the way his skin felt. He turns toward his window and stares toward the rain, hoping that with it, clarity would arrive.
