Chapter Twenty-Nine: Speak Up
"Sometimes not speaking says more than all the words in the world."
― Colleen Hoover, Ugly Love
"When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret."
― Shannon L. Alder
The room was filled with music from multiple instruments and voices. Today was the last day for the music club and their assignment of their favorite pieces. I had let them choose whatever song they wanted and they were delighted. Ritsu and I watch the kids from the front as we make sure they aren't just goofing off. It was about time to be done with practice but I wanted to give them their next assignment before summer came. As it was, summer break was looming two weeks away and exams were scheduled for next week.
"Okay guys," I say over the noise. They calm down a bit but aren't yet totally quiet. Ritsu shifts next to me and I can feel his nervousness. He still hasn't gotten used to the crowd of kids. I shift towards him and he takes a deep breath as my skirt brushes his pant leg.
"Oi, listen up," Ritsu barks out a little to harsh to be calm. All the kids look at me with slight embarrassment of having to get reprimanded. Most of the kids aren't even scared of Ritsu anymore. They've learned that he just looks angry when most of the time, he's just confused. The boy is going to bark something else out but I put my hand on his arm. He leans into my palm and scowls at the children. He's been a bit grumpy today and I have yet to find out why. My hand retracts as I lean my shoulder into his and look to the group.
"Alright so you all know that summer break is approaching quickly and this is our last meeting before summer," I tell the kids. They look back with smiles and nods. "For this last assignment I want you guys to pair up with someone with the same instrument as you and learn what their favorite song is. After that I want you guys to switch songs and learn each other's favorites. When we meet again in summer, you show your friend how you've practiced."
"What if we don't have a favorite?" Shiro asks in a bored tone. I turn to him and give a frown.
"Then I will be forced to give you a song of my choice," I reply and the boy stiffens as I give a smirk. He nods shakily, knowing that I will not hesitate to give him a song harder than necessary. I look back at all the kids and smile largely. "I hope you guys have a nice end of the week and we'll hopefully see you when we all come back to school."
The kids all nod and then get up. They already have their pairs set, most having friends they normally play with. Kan comes to the front and I know that he and Ritsu can exchange pieces with their woodwinds. I won't have a partner but just as well, my hands were beginning to act up from the constant playing. As it was, Kou finally had a piano delivered to the house and makes me play for him after we eat. The twins and cousins, along with Fu and Kou, enjoy my music and I enjoy seeing their happiness.
Everyone finishes within five minutes and as usual I'm left alone with Ritsu. The boy goes to put his things away while I grab my backpack. As I look at the boy's back, I can see the tension in his mood. Something isn't right and I can't take him stomping around like a child any longer. So heaving a large sigh, I wait for him to turn to me. When he does, he has a silent frown and I raise a brow as I smirk. He still is adorable when he's moody—something like grumpy cat.
"Okay what's wrong?" I ask as my hands go to my hips. The boy looks at me, opens his mouth and then proceeds to close it again. He was going to lie and thought better, he's such a smart boy sometimes. But at the same time, he doesn't answer and only turns away from me, angry face still gracing his features. I sigh and tilt my head at him. "You're going to get wrinkles if you keep that frown up."
"I always have a frown," he argues childishly. I snort and go closer to him.
"And that's why you already have wrinkles," I tell him. He looks at me with an angry expression as I take his face in my hands. I look at him softly and know I'll be worried if he keeps this up. His expression falters and I attempt to guilt him into telling me. "Please tell me. I don't like seeing you unhappy and not knowing what's wrong."
He looks at me with a sudden sad look and I know that this anger involves me somehow. He takes my hands off of his face and pulls them down. As he shifts his gaze to our hands, I can feel the uncertainty in his stance. He's going to tell me but he's unhappy about it. When he finally lifts his head, defeated look on his face, he licks his lips and opens his mouth.
"The vice principal wants to see us. I think it's because the old teacher has come back and we won't get to teach the club anymore," he says softly. I listen until he's finished but can't hold back the sadness from my expression. "I know you didn't get to take anyone to a competition and I was angry for not checking on it sooner. There's a competition in summer and I think Kan can go but I don't know if we'll have the opportunity."
"We have to ask the vice principal then," I tell Ritsu. He looks at me with a guilty expression, angry at himself for not doing something sooner. "It's my fault too because I got too wrapped up and forgot the competitions. But I'm really happy that you found one for Kan. He has gotten a lot better and I think he can go really far."
"I thought that too," Ritsu replies as he slowly gets his moody expression back.
I grab his hand and pull him. He swiftly grabs his bag and we exit the room. I release his arm once we get into the hall and lead the trek to the office on the other side of the building. The redhead is quiet and I know he's grown attached to the kids. This was fun for the both of us and as much as he would hate to admit it, the kids were happy with the both of us and even liked him more at times.
We were halfway to the office when I felt something was off. It was like I was being watched. I hadn't felt it since I first came to Ouran, reminding me of when the host club who would follow me everywhere. It wasn't until I turned around and saw Honey approaching at top speed that I realized it was my host club sensor. Ritsu stopped and when he saw the blonde third year almost to us, he wanted to freak out. I put my hand up and when it came time, caught Honey who was flying in the air.
"Su-chan!" he yells as Mori makes his way to our group. The brunette has a light coating of sweat from having to keep up with his cousin. My heart starts to pick up it's pace but with Ritsu by my side, I am comforted and can breathe normally.
"Hey Honey," I tell him as I place him on the floor. The boy looks at me and then looks at Ritsu and then back to me.
"Who's your friend?" he asks cheekily and I can see the mischievous glint in his eyes. My own eyebrow raises and the blonde continues with his look, our glaring contest interrupted by Mori. I give Ritsu a quick glance and he's interested in what I'm going to tell my friends, if I'll admit that he's actually mine and not just someone I know. But there is nothing to be ashamed about. Ritsu is nothing but great. There isn't a reason in the world that I don't believe he's the best. He's amazing.
"This is Ritsu Onoda," I tell them and they look at the boy with curiosity. I smile proudly at the redhead and he frowns to keep the blush from his face. "He's my boyfriend."
"Really now?" Honey asks teasingly as he begins to circle said boyfriend.
Ritsu turns as Honey turns around him, the redhead giving me a confused expression. I smile and Mori is next to me, giving a similar smile to his cousin. Honey finally stops and stands right in front of the first year, looking up. Ritsu gives me the help look but I just shrug my shoulders. If he's my boyfriend he might as well get used to my friends—both have to coexist. I'll save him if it gets bad and he knows that when I smile softly at him, him giving me a slight invisible pout.
"What you want?" he asks Honey in slightly irritated tone. He tries to hold back the scowl but he stares at the blonde with an intensity I know he can't take. Honey steps back a bit, Mori stepping forward with a smidgen of fear. I grab Mori's arm, the large boy looking at me with a surprised expression, but I will not allowing my boyfriend to be turned on.
"You're just like Su-chan when she gets angry," Honey says as he takes a another step back. The boy looks at me and I can see the glint in his eye. This can't be good. "Su-chan do you want to go shopping with us on Friday? Ritsu-chan can come too."
I look at the redhead and he has wide eyes. He didn't expect to be invited anywhere with me. I'm surprised Honey even offered. It must be some part of a grand scheme to get me to do something or other. But Ritsu gives me a conflicted look as he tries to come up with an answer. I can see his reasoning. If he refuses he seems like he doesn't like my friends and they would immediately be wary and careful with him. If he accepts, then he would have to spend the better half of a Friday night with annoying people while trying to walk on eggshells to not piss them off. I guess I'll save him now.
"Honey, we have to go talk to the vice principal. I'll check if Kou hasn't planned stuff for us that day and I'll text you later, okay?" I offer with a soft voice. I put a hair behind my ear as the blonde hugs me quickly. My heart beats rapidly and Mori is kind enough to take his cousin away while Ritsu comes to my side and puts his arm around me possessively. The two look at us with round eyes full of shock and curiosity, eager to know what made a gangster fall in love so easily.
"Alright," Honey says in an excited voice. Ritsu nods stiffly and I feel his fingers curl into my sweater as he tries not to fuck anything up.
"Thanks for the invitation," he replies courteously and I blush a bit as I realize that I'm really flaunting boyfriend in public. Mori nods while Honey makes his way to the larger one's back.
"No problem," Mori replies deeply and then nods as he turns away. Honey waves from his cousin's back with a wide mischievous smile.
"Bye Su-chan, Ritsu-chan. See you later!"
"See yah," I reply as I give a bit of a wave back. Ritsu just grunts and I wait until they disappear to let out the breath I had been holding. I can finally slouch, having been on edge with them and Ritsu pulls me closer. When I look over, I find that he's relieved that they left but also has a small excited but confused smile.
"Okay, so those were the third year guys?" he asks as he turns us to walk down the hall. I nod, having told him some details about each member. He actually knows Haruhi is a girl but I know he'll keep the secret and he wasn't too worried about it. "I can see what you mean when you say that Honey can't be taken at face value."
"You caught it?" I ask with a smile. Ritsu nods and I wonder if he would want hang out with my friends. "You don't have to accept their invitation for Friday. They'll probably just freak you out really."
"Yah but," Ritsu ponders slowly.
He is quiet and I have the real feeling that he might not ever like my friends. I swallow a bit as I think about them always being apart and me not having Ritsu by my side for big events with the host club. His friends don't ask me to go with them, but then again, Tetsuya is the only friend I know of his. Does he have more? I have never asked.
"Ritsu do you have friends?" I blurt out in folly. Ritsu tightens his hold and I regret ever saying the words.
"I have you and Tetsuya and Kou," he replies softly and it breaks my heart. I bite my lip as he turns to look at me with the most pitiful expression I have seen in the boy. "If I make friends with the host club, would you be happy?"
"It doesn't matter if it will make me happy if you don't want to hang out with them. It's fine if you don't want to come," I reply and Ritsu only looks down a bit. He's torn. This happens a lot in our relationship. He always seems to be stuck between two new options, always being a little indecisive. I could even imagine him picking petals off a flower to find out if he loves me or not. So, as I normally do, I push him by making him talk things out. I let go of him and stand before him without moving.
"What if they don't like me? I'm scary as it is," he tells me softly and I lift his head to look at me. He gives a slight frown and I smile at him, watching the way his eyes light up as I show him that he makes me happy.
"They'll like you and they're afraid of me most of the time, so it wouldn't be very different for them," I inform and he frowns a bit more.
"What if I don't like them?" Ritsu says a little childishly. This causes me to laugh because I know that they will take forever to get used to.
"Then you don't have to hang out with them," I reply as I calm my laughter. Ritsu scowls and I give him a little smirk. "Listen, you might not like them or they might not like you, but I'm giving up neither of you guys nor am I forcing you to mingle. Try Friday out so you know who they are, decide if they're for you and then we'll all be friends or not."
"I just want them to like me because then you wouldn't have to chose between us," he replies. He's so considerate. I know in reality that they'll like him because he's a misfit like the rest of us. It might be good for him to have friends who aren't in a gang. I want him to be happy too.
"They'll like you. Now let's go see what we can do about the club," I mutter softly as I pull him to follow me.
The boy follows and we walk next to each other, close enough that we bump sides. Ritsu doesn't necessarily like holding my hand while at school and I'm grateful he doesn't make us show huge signs of affection in public. He doesn't like kissing me with others watching but there are moments of excitement that he forgets his own boundaries.
And I know that we shouldn't appear like a couple to everyone. My gang doesn't really know about him and I know that if they catch me with him, they'll respect my privacy. It's just that it is dangerous for him to be seen with me without any formal understanding. Gangs here want everything and everyone to have a title, a place, that they can identify. Ritsu right now is an unknown.
"It'll be fine," Ritsu interrupts my thoughts. I turn to him as we approach the door to the office. He gives me a reassuring smile and I feel my heart clench. There are times I want to be the one to kiss him first. Blushing slightly, I nod as we enter the office and the secretary gives us a nervous smile.
"We're here to talk to Kazama-san about the music club," I tell the woman. She stares at us with wide eyes and I wring my hands nervously. Her eyes feel like they're piercing me and when I think I'll snap, she nods and leads us to the man's room.
"Kazama-san, they're here," she calls out and a grunt is heard in reply. She shuffles away and Ritsu leads the charge into the man's office. Kazama as usual is behind his desk and is writing in a pad folio. He's dressed in a brown suit and he looks up to us with a nervous half smile. We walk up to the desk slowly and sit in the chairs simultaneously. The man gulps and then closes his pad. He folds his hands and I can see he's a little worried about how we're going to take this whole meeting.
"How are you two enjoying the club?" he asks shakily. I smooth my skirt and Ritsu allows me to handle this conversation. I put my hand on the arm of the chair, Ritsu doing the same. He wants to lend me his strength and he does.
"It's nice and the kids have fun," I reply softly. The man's eyes widen and he leans forward.
"You like teaching them?" he asks with a surprised tone. I tilt my head and give a confused smile.
"Very much so," I reply strongly. The man chuckles and claps his hands. He looks at Ritsu and the boy gives a smirk at the man.
"You didn't think we would like the kids," Ritsu states with amusement. The vice principal gives us a doubtful look.
"I didn't know if you would get along," he starts off and then sees how our hands linger close to one another. Ritsu's pinky sits on top of mine and the old man's smile widens a bit. He looks at us with an amused face and goes on. "I didn't know if you would like the kids. I didn't know if the kids would like you. I didn't know if you guys could teach. But all seems to be going well."
"I would say so," I reply with a grin. The old man nods and then takes out a piece of paper. He hands it over and I take it with my right hand, putting it between me and Ritsu so we could both read. The paper was simple. It was a letter of resignation from the old club teacher. I feel the joy come to my face and I grab Ritsu's hand in mine. Looking at my boyfriend he has a relieved smile of his own.
"I am sorry to ask you guys but," the old man says and then stops to chuckle, "would you please continue to teach the music club?"
I put the paper on the desk and then look to the redhead. Ritsu tilts his head to me and I smirk a bit. Everything somehow worked out and we can continue to teach the kids, continue to teach together. When I turn back to the old man he has an excited smile on his face. I don't think he would ever realize how happy this will make both of us. It's going to take away the headache of finding someone over his summer vacation.
"We would love to," Ritsu answers for us. I squeeze the boy's hand and then, my phone rings. Taking my hand out of Ritsu's, I drag my phone out of my bag. It reveals Fu on the caller ID and I know something is really wrong.
"I'm sorry, but could you excuse me," I tell the old man and he must see the worry in my eyes. I've been getting too soft and readable. The old man nods and I don't look at Ritsu for fear that he'll freak out on me. My legs carry past them, past the secretary and into the empty hall. I open the phone and make my voice cool as a cucumber. "Hey, what's up?"
"We need you to come home immediately," Fu says equally calm. I swallow hard and Ritsu is at my side. He peers into my face and I can see the wide eyed fear coursing through his blood.
"What kind of situation is it?" I ask as I grab Ritsu and drag him to the front of the school.
"I sent the cousins to pick you up. Bring Ritsu with you," Fu speaks quickly and we enter the light. I thank god that Ritsu isn't asking all of those questions of what's going on and what's happening. What is scaring me is Fu not telling me straight forward what the situation really is at the house.
"Fu, tell me what is going on," I hiss. Ritsu shifts his hand to hold mine and I see the car.
"Kou got jumped by a small group of that local gang. We're holding his men hostage. Kou's home now but their leader is requesting an audience. I don't trust them not to jump Ritsu either so the cousins will take him home."
The cousins wait in the car and Hana gets out to hold the door open. I put Ritsu in the car first as my hand goes to my thigh holster. As I sit down on the seat, I have Sally in my hand and I'm taking off the safety. My anger is boiling over and my mind keeps thinking on how Kou is hurt. They hurt my brother. I become the lord of my gang in a second breath.
"You keep them there and get my formal wear out. If we're going to have an audience, it's going to be up to standard," I order.
"Hai Susan-sama."
I hang up after that, white knuckle grip on my gun. Ritsu sits next to me, quiet and patient for me to explain what is going on. Haru begins to drive away from the school and I take a deep breath. This will be the first time that someone close to me has been hurt. I'm going to have to make a stand to show everyone that this will not ever happen again. I am going to make them pay.
"You two are going to take Ritsu home immediately after you drop me off; then I want you on the street. I want every piece of information about this gang," I tell them and Haru nods. Hana turns and looks at Ritsu before turning to me with a serious face.
"And if we have to go out of our territory? If we have to break the treaty?" she asks with a stern voice. We're not a happy family right now. We're vengeful yakuza at the moment.
"If you need to, call and I'll go to Kasanoda. I don't want to break the treaty but we aren't letting them get away with this," I command. Hana nods and I know she's going to ask the question of what will happen if Kasanoda refuses having us on their land to find this gang. "Don't worry about my job. Worry about yours and don't you dare get hurt."
"Susan," Ritsu finally whispers. I know what I'll look like when I turn to him. I'm already in gangster mode without even concentrating. My blood is already flowing faster in my body, muscles aching for retribution. Though I have to turn to the boy. He has to see this part of me too, even if there is a fear beyond the mask I am wearing.
"Kou got hurt. I don't by whom exactly or how badly, but he's hurt. You're going to go home with the cousins. Don't go out tonight and have Tetsuya walk you to school. If something happens, you call me," I tell the boy strongly.
Ritsu looks at me and I can see the fear in his eyes.
My free hand goes out and I brush his messy hair back. His beautiful brown eyes are cold looking with his attempt to hold in his emotions. I want to give him a smile but I can't muster one that will make him feel better while in this mode. Ritsu grabs my hand and holds it against his cheek. The car begins to slow and I know we're already home. I already have to leave him.
"Don't get hurt," he whispers tenderly. I give him a soft look but it's more condescending than just soft. He can't know what I'm going to do to those men, who I'm going to kill tonight.
"I love you," I reply as I lean over.
That was the first time I've said those words first. Kissing him gently, I let my lips linger to his forehead. I kiss that too and feel Ritsu melt under my mouth. He loves me all the same, killer or pure. I get out of the car and Ritsu holds it open. Looking at him, he has gotten strong, harsh gangster look on his face.
"I love you so you come back to me, you hear?" he threatens and I give a soft chuckle. He stares at the gun in my hand and then looks up with a pleading look.
"I wouldn't dream of anything else," I reply.
Then I close the car door and watch the car drive away. My body wants to run after that car and tell that boy that everything will be okay. But my mind and even my heart is moving my body up the stairs to my syndicate, to avenge the wrong done to my brother. When I reach the top of the steps, there is a row of men who appear solemn. They look at me and then bow lowly.
"Welcome home Susan-sama," they chant and I nod to them as I walk down the path. When I get to the stoop, I look back and the men look at me with sad faces. My blood boils as I have a thought of Kou hurt badly.
"My men, there has been wrongs done to us this day. I will not stand for this. My men will not be treated this way. This is not how my family will be treated," I yell ferociously. My men startle but then they stand taller. Their eyes look at me with such pride and I nod to them. They cheer and I go inside. In his favorite chair I find Fu, hands holding his head while he's bent down. I make my way to him and lay a hand on his shoulder. He looks up and I find tears in his eyes.
"I shouldn't have let him go by himself. I should have sent someone with him. It's my fault," he murmurs to me. Fu's hand goes to his head and scratches his countless scars. His tears fall to the wood and I kneel in front of him.
"How bad is he?" I ask him softly and the man shakes his head. I shake his shoulder and he just stops moving. "How bad?"
"The doctor says he'll live. I'll have the doctor speak to you tonight," he tells me and I nod. Fu stops crying silently and stands. He's wept and now it is time to move on and finish business. "Your clothes are on your bed. The twins have the men in the basement. I'll call you when the leader is here and have some guys already in the meeting room for the audience."
"Good. I'll see Kou after," I tell the large man.
He nods and wipes his face with his black yukata sleeve. Turning around, I head to my room in silence. I pass Kou's room but don't dare hesitate. I can think about my brother in sadness after I deal with this business. I enter my room. On the bed lays the same kimono I wore when I first got here. The last time I wore this outfit was when I made the treaty with Kasanoda. Kou helped me dress that time.
I dress myself this time around. The green kimono has the white scenery at the bottom and the black over kimono has our daimon. I strip and lay Sally on my nightstand. I go to my armory and take out Harry and a duplicate of Sally. Taking out my shoulder holster along with the guns, I put on the under garments and then my kimono. I put my shoulder holster on and put Harry and the duplicate Sally. Looking at myself in the mirror, I know I'm not the same as that day. Something in my eyes is different.
I put my black kimono on and grab my gun. The door opens to reveal Fu. He gives me a stiff nod and I straighten my bangs out one last time in the mirror. My eyes hold so much fury and I know that these men aren't going to live. Death would be better for them than what I will do to them if they anger me. I leave my room and Fu leads me to the meeting room. I walk slowly, full of purpose, my gun shining in the light from the setting sun. We finally enter the room and I find two of my men and five of theirs.
The five are dressed unlike regular thugs. I can see the four soldiers from their lack of blazer jackets and only suit vests. The colors range from blue to black and one brown pant while all their shirts are white. The boss wears a black suit with white shirt and red tie. The leader looks at me with black hair in a ponytail, slight fear beyond his gangster frown.
"No hello?" I say in a level voice. The man looks at me blankly and I go to the right across from them with a table in between. My two men who are here to guard, stand as I sit in the chair. Fu is at my side and the leader sits across from me. His four men waver as they stand and I give them a raise of my brow.
"Crea-san, I've come to—"
"I'm going to stop you right there," I interrupt with a furious smile, gun being plopped onto the table. "You come into my home, where my family lives comfortably, where I sleep, where my brother is safe and you don't even say hello?"
"Crea-san I—"
"I wasn't done speaking you ignorant son of a bitch," I scream. My body rises and all of the men in the room flinch. I curl my lips back at the leader and he is frightened. "I have granted you an audience with one of the most powerful yakuza in this prefecture. You and your rag tag men can go up in smoke if I so much as have a bad hair day or sneeze in your direction."
"My apologies Crea-san," the leader says as he bows his head in sincerity. His men bow their heads with the man. I feel the vein in my temple pound with my anger. Fu leans towards me and I run a finger along my shiny gun that sits on the desk.
"Now we're sounding like a real meeting. So let's begin with some introductions. As you know I am Susan Crea and you are," I say softly, coaxing him to look at me so I can see the life leaving his eyes.
"I apologize again Crea-san. I am Neji Nawamura," he says with a slight tremor in his voice. I nod at him as he looks me in the eye. He fixes his tie as he swallows for strength. "Crea-san, I am here to ask for your mercy to spare my men whom you hold in your custody."
"You," I say as I hold the word longer than necessary. I then start laughing at them. It's more of a broken sound than actual humor. This is making me horribly tired—just everything about this is tiring. "Your men are as good as dead. What you should be asking me for is, is mercy for your gang."
"Crea-san, I respect you greatly, but my men did nothing," he airs but catches his mistake. I don't move as I turn to Fu. My father in arms looks down with a shake of his head-it's a lie.
"And how do you explain what happened to my brother? Are you telling me, to my face, that it was my brother's fault?" I ask in a cold voice. The man goes to open his mouth but I'm quicker. "I should kill you here and now. I should paint this room with your blood and run my hands through your lifeless hair as I take your eyes for prizes. This meeting is done if you say something I don't like again."
"I understand," he replies and I grab my gun, putting it in my lap. The leader is sweating like crazy and his eyes keep darting from me to Fu to me again. He's scared to death. The man brings up a shaky hand and runs it on top of his hair. "May I ask for the safety of my gang?"
"The ones who touched Kou, you have no chance with. The others you might be able to save. If you give me your gang and all of your land, profits and assets, I will make sure your men don't die by my hands," I reply with a small smile. I really hope he doesn't take the deal. The man bites his lip while his men look at him with scared faces. He gets up and I have my gun pointed at him. He bows lowly to me and I feel saddened that he is going to take my offer.
"Thank you for your kindness Crea-san but I must decline if you won't give me the men you have," he tells me with a shudder through his body. I smile largely and tilt my gun to the side.
"Why do you want them so badly?" I ask in curiosity. He's willing to give up the safety of his whole gang for a couple of guys. He stands straight and has tears in his eyes.
"One of the men is my brother and another is my sister's husband," he replies with a pleading voice.
They were close to him but were cocky and weren't careful. And he's willing to risk all of the other men's lives for two family members? I nod my head and then shoot him in the next second. The rest of his men try to bring their guns out but are already countered by Fu and the two men behind me. The leader falls back into the chair and his white shirt begins to match his tie. Damnit. I liked that chair.
"Now boys, we have two options," I proclaim as I get up. The four men look at me with wide eyes, one with blood spatter on his cheek. I smile largely and heave a sigh. "You have no boss, so I'm going to do this majority vote okay?"
"Yes Crea-san," they reply quickly.
"You can refuse my offer and leave here with a target on your backs as well as your colleagues or you can take it and live under my rule," I offer with a haughty voice. I look to the boss who bleeds into my chair and sigh with disgust. "I hate leaders who will save the few who are close to them even if it means their other men will die. As leaders our men trust us and we have to keep them safe, even if that means we have to let them go."
"We understand Crea-san," one of the men replies. I smile at him and then turn to Fu, patting his arm.
"Do you accept my offer?"
"We accept," they all chime in.
I nod to Fu and then walk away. I'm not even going to welcome them in. I'm too disgusted by their whole gang. I'll use them as dummies for the risky jobs. The four will get better with time but I don't have the patience to put up with them. I walk down the hall with my gun still in my hand. When I get to my room, I put all my weapons away but hear a noise on the other side of the wall. Rushing to Kou's room, I fling the door open to find the boy trying to get out of bed.
His face is completely bruised and his body is curled over in pain. There is a cast on his right arm, the other having an IV drip attached to it and I can see the bandages over his chest through his shirt. I rush to him and push him back into bed. Up close I can see his nose was broken and he has several stitches over his right eye but under his eyebrow. My eyes tear and I don't know if I can hug him or not. My hands go out but they stop with the fear I'll just irritate any wounds.
"Kou I'm so sorry," I tell him. Tears fall and he shakes his head. I watch his mouth open but he speaks no words. My worry intensifies with the tears coming out of his black eyes. "Kou what happened?"
The boy grabs my arm and I can see the sadness in his bruised face. I grab his hand and he gestures for me to come close. I lean down and he puts his forehead to mine. I cry harder with seeing his skin so swollen. It must hurt him so much. I should have protected him better. I shouldn't have let him out of my sight.
"Kou it's all my fault," I wail but he shakes his head.
I hear him cry out with the motion but he doesn't speak at all. Maybe it hurts for him to talk. I pull away and he cries harder as he takes my hand. He opens my palm and holds it up as his other hand comes to it. His index finger begins tracing lines on my hand and I don't understand for a moment. It isn't until I realize the pattern isn't random and that he's tracing the kanji for 'It's okay' over and over and over that I feel my heart sink.
"Speak up Kou. Tell me what happened and open your mouth," I instruct but the boy shakes his head. I rip my hand away and cry harder if possible. "Open your mouth Kou!"
He cries and closes his eyes. Then he opens his mouth and I feel sick to my stomach. His mouth is red and there are stitches down the entire length of his tongue. I keel over. They cut his tongue. They tried to cut his tongue out! I run out of the room and straight into Fu. He catches me and squeezes me to his body. I break down completely and the man cries with me. I pull away in a moment of pure rage and look at Fu.
"Find out why they did this. Torture them until they talk. You don't cut out tongues without sending a message. Kill the rest of the gang. I never want to have them do this to anyone else ever again," I yell out. Fu nods and the twins have manifested. I look at them and they both look at me with solemn faces. They slowly come in front of me and I wait for them to tell what they found out from the hostages in the basement.
"They wanted to send you a message. Someone hired them to kill Kou and wanted his tongue mailed to you. We're trying to find out who hired them," Aiko tells me slowly.
"We saved him before they cut his tongue out completely. They said the message was that little girls should be seen and not heard. They want you to disappear," Hideo adds quietly. I bite my lip hard and then wipe my face.
"When you think you can't get anything else out of them, cut their tongues out. Starve them to death after that," I order.
My hands shake and I feel lightheaded from crying so much. The twins nod and go off with their duties and Fu follows me into Kou's room. The boy has fallen asleep, the pain having been too much. I brush his blue hair back and wail into his bedside, face in his blankets. If he hadn't met me, none of this would have happened.
I put him at risk. He's hurt because I am the one who is supposed to protect him and I failed. He almost died because of my lax nature. This shouldn't have happened. How did this even happen? They should have hurt me instead of Kou. It was me that they wanted to hurt.
And they succeeded in hurting me. But by hell did they succeed in silencing me. Because when I find out who they are, they will hear it from me when I sink a knife into their heart.
The Krupke cousins drove their previous young lord home after they dropped off their current leader. Ritsu tried to appear strong for Susan but the minute she got out of that car and they drove away, he was a mess. It was the first time that Ritsu had seen the Susan everyone in a gang saw. No wonder his father wanted him to stay away from her. She was fierce and Ritsu knew that she was out for blood.
And he knew that this should have scared him but it didn't. It made him worried that he wasn't there by her side. The girl was a gang leader and Ritsu knew she had the experience and power to kill at the blink of an eye. Ritsu knew that she was going to kill the men who hurt Kou and Ritsu was okay with this. He wanted to hurt them too.
Ritsu had never killed anyone. He had never beaten someone up to the point of fatality. The boy had barely even held a gun in his hands. He was inexperienced and ignorant and innocent. Susan was none of those things. This didn't make Ritsu want to protect her any less though. He still loved her the same.
"You really do love her," the girl cousin proclaims. She stares at the redhead in shock and even a tinge of adoration. Ritsu gives her a dirty look and then turns to watch the trees pass.
"You're going to have to tell her," the male cousin adds. Ritsu looks forward and runs a hand through his hair.
"I will," Ritsu grumbles.
The young lord was not looking forward to that day. He knew in all reality that he should tell Susan before anyone else did. And he knew Susan would be angry with him for lying to her. Susan would be furious and might even break up with him. That was why Ritsu wanted to see if there was some way for them to actually be together.
They were from rival gangs. They would both be leaders. In all reality, they could merge both yakuzas and be done with the whole matter but this was impossible. At least Susan would see this as impossible. If the gangs merged by a treaty or even marriage, then they would own the whole prefecture. The land would be so large that they would immediately be a target for the largest yakuza out there: Yamaguchi-gumi.
Ritsu knew that Susan would never merge the gangs because it spelled death for them. She was too good of a leader to sacrifice her men for her own happiness. So Ritsu planned on telling her that they wouldn't get married, that their gangs would stay separate, and they would continue this relationship where they were both just regular people. Though the redhead knew he wanted to marry the girl, not hide his relationship like it was a shameful thing.
Ritsu was proud of Susan and he knew that she was proud of him. He didn't expect her to introduce him to her friends as her boyfriend. He wouldn't have been angry if she hadn't claimed him but he was overjoyed with her happiness when she said he was hers. Then she even told him that she wanted him to hang out with her friends. It was of the utmost pride that he stood in front of her friends and pulled her into him. The girl wasn't hiding who they were to each other and he knew he shouldn't hide who he was any longer.
He had to tell Susan who he was. He was too far into the relationship and so in love with her that it would break him to let her go. Ritsu had to tell Susan who he was during summer. The boy figured she would have a chance to really figure out what they could do with the gangs and wouldn't have to worry about the club or school.
For now, he would go with her to shopping with her friends and continue with what they have now. He didn't know if he should be impressed with the invitation with her friends or that he should be wary of them. They could let out his secret. He had to be careful. If Susan found out from someone else, she would never forgive him.
"You know, she loves you too," Hana interrupts Ritsu's thoughts. The woman plays with her hair while the redhead frowns. "But if you don't tell her, she'll lose all faith in you."
"Why haven't you guys told her?" Ritsu asks with a bite in his tone. He knows what will happen, he doesn't need to be reminded.
"Fu said that you asked him not to, so none of us will," Haru chimes in. The man looks in the rearview mirror with a slight glint in his eyes. He doesn't want Susan to get hurt.
"Do you think we could merge the two gangs?" Ritsu whispers. Hana stops and then peers around at him, swiftly turning in her seat.
"You're willing to do that? Give up your men to Susan? Because she won't allow anyone to lead us if she is still able to," the woman hisses angrily. Ritsu glares and her looks falters, expression flooding with fear.
"I don't know if I would give her my men, but maybe we could rule over them separately with the same name," he scoffs and Haru shakes his head.
"I don't think it would be possible. They would lose respect for both of you and Susan would end up leading everyone after a riot. She won't trust you with us but you can't merge the two without having her in charge," Haru muses. Ritsu feels his hands kneed at his legs.
"If we ruled together, then we could have control over both. Susan wouldn't have to worry about rebellion or someone breaking away from the gang," he thinks out loud. Hana clicks her tongue and smirks a bit.
"You and Susan are similar but I can guarantee you won't want to go with some of her decisions. She's ruthless and you're wet behind the ears. In terms of experience, she would want to get things done and you would want to resolve them."
"Okay but what if we have a council or maybe a—"
"None of this will work if you don't tell her!" Haru groans. The blonde man shakes his head in frustration. "You don't even know if she would want to merge the gangs. You don't even know if she would want to be with you when she finds out you're the heir to Kasanoda. Tell her the truth and you'll deal with this stuff later."
Ritsu was a bit shocked with the man but knew he was right. Ritsu had to speak up and quickly. Things were happening with the gangs and the underworld was starting to get messed up. Susan had to be told the truth and Ritsu would try his hardest to have her understand his reasoning.
And all of the plans were set to tell Susan but Ritsu never actually got the chance to speak about it before everything blew up in his face.
Okay, so originally I had Kou's tongue cut out completely and I was almost going to go with that. But then I went to sleep and I felt extremely terrible and I was so sad that Kou would be like that and then I checked if he could even eat without a tongue and I couldn't do it. This chapter is still horrible but nothing about this story supposed to be perfect. Spoilers, the last sentence is totally correct and I have planned for the truth to be revealed in about three chapters. Of course I'm going to convince myself to make that terribly sad too and I'll have to post it right after I proofread to not lose strength in the words.
I hope everyone had a wonderful new year's celebration. Let 2016 treat all of right! In addition, it's been a year since I started this story and twenty-eight chapters later, I hope you all are enjoying this fanfic. Comment if you expected where this was even going, (at times I didn't even know and sometimes I felt that it was a little dragging in the beginning) I don't know. I can never tell if I'm writing well.
As always, follow, fave, review, obsess! (Loves yous guys and have a great year!)
