Disclaimer: See first chapter!

Author's Note: Well, here comes a long overdue chapter: Communication. I think it's about time that Fenrir and Harry had a looong conversation and cleared the air and I hope you'll like it...

Warnings for this chapter: Violence


29. COMMUNICATION

Remus held Harry, who slowly morphed back into human form, drawing slow circles on his back and rumbling soothingly in his ear. Fenrir approached them, carefully slinging a blanket around Harry's shoulders.

"Thanks," Harry whispered, reaching out with a shaking hand to pull the blanket tight around him. "I feel slightly less bad than the last time."

"That's good," Fenrir murmured. "How did you like your first real full moon with the pack?"

Harry snorted. "Better than last time, that's for sure... No, really, it was great."

"I'm glad you stayed," Fenrir replied, knowing full well that he had little part in making Harry's full moon great. "And that you didn't regret it."

Harry hummed lowly. "I think I'm going to take a nap."

"Okay, cub," Remus agreed, glancing at Fenrir before he added, "Can I leave you alone? I'd like to take a bath."

"Sure, go ahead," Harry murmured sleepily. "Don't let Siri dunk you, though."

"I'll see what I can do." Remus pressed a kiss to Harry's temple before he got up, his face adorned by a light blush. "Sweet dreams, cub."

Harry sighed, curling up on his side and after one brief look at Fenrir, closed his eyes. But Harry had hardly relaxed and evened out his breathing when Maya approached them, her hands at her hip. "Alpha, Harry, breakfast is ready."

"Not hungry," Harry muttered. "Want to sleep."

"You need to eat regularly, as you well know, Harry. The baby needs the nutrients," Maya replied sternly. "You can sleep after you ate something. I made omelettes, with cheese and tomatoes for you. Harry, did you hear me?"

"I suppose I can't pretend I didn't hear you, can I?" Harry asked. "Merlin, I'm an adult, you know? And if I don't want to eat, I don't want to eat. It's that simple."

"I mean well, Harry," Maya replied, surprised by Harry's annoyance.

"Doesn't everybody?" Harry muttered spitefully, getting up and walking past Maya.

"I can make something else," Maya offered, rather helplessly. "Maybe some sandwiches or pancakes? Or some porridge?"

"Just leave him be, Maya," Fenrir grumbled. "He'll calm down."

"I just wanted him to eat something," Maya murmured to herself. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing, he's just touchy," Fenrir reassured her, butting Maya's temple with his nose. "I'll see what I can do, alright?"

Maya nodded gratefully, though she also looked mildly sceptical as she ran a hand through her white hair. "Alpha, do you think that is a good idea? Harry doesn't need any more stress."

Fenrir growled testily. Just because he wasn't in Harry's good books right now, it didn't mean that Fenrir was completely inept at calming Harry. Despite what the rest of his pack might think, he still knew how to deal with Harry's moods and even if he was slightly unsure how to fix his own problems with Harry, he could straighten out misunderstandings between the members of his pack. That was his job as the Alpha, even where Harry was concerned. Thus, he followed the young man, who had disappeared in the hut he now slept in, banging the door. But when Fenrir entered, Harry's mood had already changed again and the slight wizard was sitting with his legs drawn up against his chest, looking truly miserable.

"I'm sorry I snapped at Maya," he whispered, wincing when Fenrir sat down next to him as if he expected Fenrir to react with violence. "I'm just not hungry. I'll apologise later."

"She'll understand. Are you two okay?"

Fenrir did not foresee the fist that collided with his nose, nor the angry glimmer in Harry's eyes. "I am okay!"

"Harry, what...? What is wrong?" Fenrir asked, viciously stomping on his Alpha demeanour that demanded that he show the cub his place; this wouldn't go over well.

"You are wrong. You are!" Harry glared fiercely at him. "I'm not just an incubator! I have feelings too, you know? But all you care about is the baby! Baby this, baby that. You don't give a shit about me now that I have the proportions of a whale."

"What? Harry? That's not - " Fenrir protested, but Harry cut him short, pacing in agitation.

"You find me disgusting, don't you?" Harry demanded, impatiently brushing over his cheeks. "Why don't you go to your Lin? You two seem cosy enough."

"No, Harry, you're beautiful. I - "

"You don't touch me anymore. I might as well go because what little contact we have we can just as well have via letters," Harry snapped, interrupting him again. "The baby is fine as well. So now that you know that, you can leave."

Harry jerked his wand up, sending Fenrir sailing through the door and locked the werewolf out before he had really the time to react.

"What was that?" he murmured to himself, slowly getting up again and brushing of his jeans.

"Did he kick you out?" Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by a voice tinged with amusement. "Harry is a bit moody, isn't he? Want my advice?"

"What advice could you possibly give me, Black?" Fenrir demanded, mildly curious despite himself.

"Well, for one, Harry talks to me, and Remus of course, and he feels neglected," Sirius offered, motioning a bit to the side, sitting down on a large, moss-covered tree trunk; Fenrir reluctantly sat down next to him. "He thinks that everyone, you especially, is only interested in the baby and though that makes him feel safe on some level because it means that his child will be well taken care of, it also reminds him of his bad childhood." He sighed. "Moony and I have tried to show him that we care about him just as much if not more, but well, we can't give him all the appreciation he needs. None of us would really welcome it if we tried to convince Harry that he's still attractive."

Fenrir growled but then sighed. "It's not like Harry wants me to show him that I still find him desirable. He made abundantly clear that he doesn't want me anywhere near him."

"Stop beating yourself up," Sirius told him harshly. "He's still here, doesn't that tell you something? I suggest that you get your act together if you want to keep Harry because he's ready to leave before you kick him out."

"I would never kick him out," Fenrir protested. "I'm just giving him time. He knows that I'm always there for him."

"Does he now?" Sirius asked mockingly. "Then why is he crying in that hut?" Fenrir lowered his head, but couldn't think of an answer. "Harry is hurt, of course he is, and if it was Remus or my decision we would pack him up and take him as far away from you as possible... But since it isn't, you will damn well get your head out of your butt and grovel and plead and apologise and do everything to earn his forgiveness. I can assure you that your 'giving him time'-bullshit is not helping him."

Fenrir thought that he should probably reinforce on Sirius that he couldn't talk to him like that, but his mind was caught up on the tiny sliver of hope Sirius' words had invoked. Still he argued, "I don't want him to feel pressured. He'll come to me when he's ready to give me another chance."

"Merlin, sometimes you can really be thick-headed. The both of you. I tried to explain to Harry that you'd be thinking like that, but he insists that you always made the first move and if you had any interest in him still you would make a move on him now, but that you don't because you, like everyone else, find him unattractive and fat."

"He isn't fat, he's pregnant," Fenrir protested before he scowled. "Besides, he knows that Travers found him attractive enough."

Sirius arched an eyebrow. "That still eating you up, man? Harry turned him down, didn't he? And if you ask me, you have no right whatsoever to - "

"I'm not asking you!" Fenrir snapped, straightening his spine as Sirius ducked his head, lowered his eyes, rounded his back; everything you should do when faced with an Alpha werewolf; everything Harry had never done. "He considered it. Am I supposed to just forget the fact that he considered cheating on me? That he thought nothing of sleeping with another man?"

"Maybe you should consider something," Sirius mumbled softly but still with a hint of defiance. "Harry didn't agree, he came back here and he even confessed everything. Have you ever asked yourself why he did that? As for Travers, he doesn't desire Harry nor does Harry desire him. Travers just wanted someone whom he could trust."

"You don't propose to have sex with someone if you don't desire them," Fenrir argued testily, taking a little stone and throwing it with force into the forest.

The Animagus' eyes were stormy grey, haunted and his lips quirked into a bitter smile. "Do you think everyone in Azkaban suddenly turned gay? It was never about desire or sexual orientation, it was never about wanting... us." A shadow flitted over his face. "It was always about humiliation, about revenge, about control."

"I don't see what this has to do with Harry," Fenrir murmured, feeling completely out of is depth; Was he supposed to comfort Sirius now? He opted for offering another little stone to the Animagus, who took it with a surprised, grateful grin.

"My point is that sex is not always about wanting someone and that on Travers, I assume, it would have a calming effect to know that his partner doesn't desire him or want to control him," Sirius explained, rolling the stone between his fingers. "Harry's no threat to him, not like Malfoy, who would certainly have been more enthusiastic."

"Enthusiastic?" Fenrir echoed incredulously, and Sirius shrugged apologetically.

"I was trying to be discreet here." Sirius pouted. "Fact is, Harry would have been safe, and Harry believes that this was the only reason Travers propositioned him, which may or may not be true. It's of no consequence. What is of consequence, however, is how you treat Harry. Giving him time is all well and good, but if you don't start giving Harry some reassurance, some physical reassurance, that he's more than just a breeding mare, it won't be long before Harry completely falls apart. I thought you didn't want to hurt him anymore?"

"And how am I supposed to go about reassuring Harry?" Fenrir asked, ignoring Sirius murmured last sentence. "He doesn't want me touching him, and when I try to talk to him about something other than the baby he either cuts me off or ignores me."

"What, did you expect him to make it easy for you, Greyback?" Sirius scoffed.

"Fine," Fenrir grumbled. "I get it."

Sirius shook his head. "I don't think you do. Let me make it clear for you: You bit Harry." He explained it slowly and clearly as if he was afraid the meaning of his words might escape the werewolf if he didn't.

Fenrir wanted to roll his eyes, scoff at the ridiculously obvious declaration, but instead he felt a lump in his throat, tasted, once again, Harry's blood on his tongue. He felt sick.

"How do I make that up to him?" he whispered; he wasn't sure if he was still talking to Sirius.

"Every day a little. You start and you never stop and long after Harry has forgiven you and forgotten the feeling of betrayal, you will still remember all the horrid details so that you never do something like that again," Sirius replied then ran a hand through his hair and changed the subject, "You should approach him, but maybe you should try a... gentler approach? I think that is what Harry has been missing and maybe that made him curious about how sex with Travers would be. Gentle."

"I was gentle!" Fenrir growled angrily at the audacious dog, who dared to presume he knew more about Fenrir's relationship with Harry than he himself did. "Not that it's any of your business. That's not the reason Harry thought about cheating on me."

But the former Gryffindor wasn't to be deterred. "Gentle for werewolf standards perhaps, but for us humans that's still pretty rough. Believe me, I would know, and Remus is the gentlest soul I ever met."

Fenrir grunted, not ready to agree. "So, he wants me to be gentle? I can do that. But I don't see - "

"And you think that's it? That Harry just wants gentle sex?" Sirius demanded scornfully.

"You just said so!" Fenrir growled; he remembered all too clearly why he didn't like humans. "Make up your - "

"Because gentle sex can hurt just as much as rough sex." Sirius paused dramatically. "There's a difference between having sex and making love and it's that difference that made Harry consider having sex with Travers. You can easily have sex with several people, but making love is a completely different matter, and now think again about why Harry refused. Maybe then you will understand what you need to do."

With that he clapped the Alpha's shoulder and slipped from the tree trunk, easily jogging towards Remus, who welcomed him with a possessive but gentle hug.

If possible, Fenrir felt even more confused after this conversation and though he experienced something like hope at the thought that Harry might actually welcome him back, he was just as apprehensive and he realised that a lot of work lay ahead of him.

ö_ö_ö

"Harry." Fenrir waited until the younger man looked up from munching on his bread roll. "Would you like to take a walk with me?"

He ignored the encouraging smile Sirius bestowed on him and resisted the urge to fidget as he waited for Harry to answer. Harry peered at him suspiciously, but finally shrugged, making to get to his feet. Fenrir hastened to assist him, reaching out for Harry's hand and pulling him as carefully as possibly to his feet, stabilising the black-haired beauty against his own body.

Fenrir relished in the contact, taking a deep sniff of Harry's unique scent before he reluctantly released him, though instead he took Harry's small hand in his, pressed a chaste kiss to the delicate knuckles and cautiously tugged to make Harry follow him. Harry trotted next to him obediently, his eyes lowered to the ground so that he didn't notice when Fenrir took up a pre-packed pack with his free hand.

The werewolf kept a careful eye on his little moonlight, shielding him from wayward branches and catching him when he stumbled, but refrained from conversation until they came to the place he had decided was their destination. It was not too far away from the pack, but far enough to ensure their privacy, a spot where the trees stood less densely and where underbrush was replaced by soft grass, fragrant herbs and bright green moss.

"Would you like to sit down?" he proposed, motioning vaguely to a large flat rock, spreading the fluffy bear fur he had brought with him over it so that Harry wouldn't be cold.

Harry sat down, still strangely passive, and Fenrir took a seat next to him. Their silence stretched for a bit longer before Fenrir took Harry's hand once more, putting it on his own thigh and caressing the small white finger tips.

"I wanted to talk to you, about what you said this morning," he murmured, keeping up his soothing stroking. "About us?"

"I'm listening," Harry said softly.

"Please," Fenrir tilted Harry's head to look at him. "I know that what I did is unforgiveable and that no apology will make this up to you, but - "

"You could at least try," Harry interrupted him, his eyes narrowing slightly. "You could at least apologise once."

"Harry, little one, of course I'm sorry. I'm very sorry and I feel horrible that I caused you so much pain and if I could do anything, anything at all to make it undone, I wouldn't hesitate," Fenrir said urgently. "I am sorry, Harry."

"You were right," Harry murmured, looking away again. "It didn't help."

Fenrir slumped, pressing a kiss into Harry's hand. "Do you think you'll forgive me, someday, little sweet wolf?"

"I'll try to, for the sake of our child," Harry whispered.

"Harry... You know that I don't only care about our cub, don't you?" Fenrir asked, trying to catch Harry's eye. "I care about you very much. And I think you're beautiful, breathtaking. But your body isn't the only reason I care for you."

"So you didn't bring me here to fuck me?" Harry asked curiously, glancing at him.

"No... Yes... I mean, dammit, Harry, I want you to be happy again. I want us to talk, clear the air and then, yes, I would like to have... be intimate with you again, but it is not a requirement," Fenrir stumbled over his own words with rising frustration.

Harry cocked his head slightly. "Aren't you angry at me?"

"What?" Fenrir demanded, sighing when Harry ducked his head at the sharp tone.

"For... what happened... for provoking you," Harry whispered, twisting his hands around before he noticed that Fenrir was still holding onto his right hand, and then stilling abruptly.

"Harry... You didn't sleep with him, right? You didn't. I overreacted - "

"I knew you would and I kept pushing you. And even when I noticed how angry you were, I still had to be cheeky and stupid..." His voice was full of disgust. "Of course you jumped to the wrong conclusion, you had to the way I was acting and with what I was saying, and I damn well knew how possessive you are, that you wouldn't let this slide. I purposefully fucked it up, you just reacted. I'm not sure I can even blame you for that."

"Don't say that, sweet one." Fenrir breathed a kiss on Harry's hand. "I should have trusted you. I didn't even smell him on you." He snorted derisively. "I should have known and no matter what you did or didn't do, no matter how you acted or what you said, it's no excuse for what I did. I should never have bitten you."

"No, you shouldn't have," Harry agreed. "You could have killed our child. That's what you should be apologising for, but I'm not angry at you for losing your temper. Not really. That's as much my fault as it is yours."

"No, little wolf," Fenrir protested. "It really isn't. I shouldn't have lost it and that's that. You didn't sleep with him."

"I thought about it," Harry admitted, biting his lips but very cautiously leaned against the werewolf.

"Why, Harry? I thought you were happy," Fenrir murmured, trying to stay calm.

"I'm trying to help David, but truth is I'm just making it up as I go. I have no idea what I'm doing. If he thought that sleeping with me would help him, who am I to say that it won't?" Harry whispered, briefly glancing up at him. "I want him to get better."

"I'm not blaming you for wanting to help," Fenrir kept his voice soft and non-threatening. "Was that the only reason you considered it? You can tell me if there's something else."

Harry kept silent for a moment and Fenrir almost thought he wouldn't answer. "When we were in Azkaban, I thought what a horrible waste it would be to die a virgin."

"And now?" Fenrir asked carefully, though the revelation that he had been Harry's first filled him with inexplicable joy and pride; and a new rush of guilt.

"Now I wonder if it was the right decision," Harry murmured lowly. "Because with all the good feelings came a truckload of bad feelings, a lot of pain. I think I want to go back to numbness now."

"But it's not working, is it?" Fenrir said softly, and Harry shook his head. "Good."

Harry laughed, but it sounded shrill and unnatural with a hint of hysteria. Fenrir winced mentally, knowing how his answer had sounded, but unwilling to apologise for Harry still feeling something. Even if Harry was hurting right now, it meant that Fenrir had a chance to make things right again. He'd take an angry and sad Harry over a zombie Harry anytime. He squeezed Harry's hand.

"Do you think the only way for me to feel is through pain?" Harry asked. "Because I'm starting to suspect it is."

"No, I don't think so, little human," Fenrir insisted, trying to keep the angry edge out of his voice. "You deserve happiness like everyone else."

"I was happy," Harry said bitterly. "But I was also curious if sex is always what we have."

"Why didn't you say that I hurt you?" Fenrir demanded, remembering Sirius' advice. "I thought you liked it a little rough. You said that you didn't need to be treated like a princess."

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked. "Sure, you're always a little rough and maybe, even though I don't need it, I'd like to be treated with more tenderness from time to time, but that's not what I was referring to. You'll never let me top, I know that, I've accepted it, but that doesn't mean that I'm not curious about how it would be."

"Wait, wait, Travers asked you to bugger him?" Fenrir asked incredulously.

"Of course, what did you think?" Harry demanded, pulling away from the werewolf. "That I would let someone, anyone fuck me while I was carrying your child?"

"I just assumed..." Fenrir murmured, frustrated that their conversation had once again taken a turn for the worse. "I... I never bottomed before, either. Doesn't make me curious to try it."

Harry snorted, but accepted the change of subject. "Of course not, you're a fucking Alpha. You know who you are, but I'm not so sure. It doesn't matter, I declined, didn't I?"

"Yes, thank you." Fenrir smiled a teeth-barring smile at the younger man. "But will you tell me why? You said you didn't see a reason to."

"I didn't." Harry shrugged, blushing faintly. "But when it came down to it... I didn't need a reason, anymore, you know? Something just told me that this is not what I wanted, that this was stretching my relationship with David a bit too far. And our relationship. You wouldn't have liked it."

Fenrir barked out a bitter laugh. "No, I wouldn't have, sweet one." He reached out to trace the white half-moon scars on Harry's neck, but the black-haired man twisted away, putting his hands around his neck to shield it from the werewolf. "Oh, Goddess, Harry, I didn't... I didn't." He croaked out, dropping to his knees in front of Harry and burying his head against the slender legs. "Don't be afraid of me, please. I'll never hurt you like this again. Never."

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered, burying his hands in Fenrir's thick silver hair. "Please, don't send me away. Please, I won't shy away anymore."

"Harry, I won't send you away. You're my little moonlight," Fenrir whispered. "Mine. And I'm yours, if you'll have me."

"I'm scared," Harry whimpered.

"I won't hurt you again, I promise," Fenrir said earnestly and managed, despite their awkward position, to embrace Harry.

"Not that." Harry closed his eyes in despair. "I should hate you. I should mistrust you, shouldn't I? But I just can't bring myself to because I – I miss you. I miss waking with your arms around me and seeing you smile at me like I'm somehow special and I miss how safe you always made me feel and I want that back." He sobbed. "I want that back, even if... I think I love you. I'm so sick."

"Shh, shh, you're not sick. You're amazing," Fenrir murmured, kissing Harry's temple. "My rebellious, enchanting, amazing cub, remember? And you're not alone in this, you know, I want all that back as well and I love you, too. I love you, Harry."

Harry's small form with the extended stomach quivered and shook with hysterical laughter and heart-felt sobs, and Fenrir could do nothing but hold him securely against his chest with Harry's head tucked under his chin so that his mouth didn't come anywhere close to Harry's neck, trying to digest this unexpected confession and deal with it as quickly and efficiently as possible because Harry was clearly upset and needed his support.

"You do?" Harry finally asked in a very small and vulnerable voice. "You're not only saying this because you pity me?"

"Stupid little thing, if I remember correctly I told you that I wanted more a good while ago," Fenrir grumbled, pressing a careful kiss into Harry's hair. "I wanted you and I wanted you to return my love. Of course, I do love you."

"I'm scared."

"We'll do this together," Fenrir murmured soothingly, moving his hands to support Harry's back. "Give me a second chance, little moonlight, and we'll work this out. I promise you, we'll find a way to make you feel safe again."

"I gave you a second chance the moment I came back here," Harry whispered. "I guess you do want it, after all?"

"Yes, definitely, pretty white one," Fenrir answered, and Harry quirked a shy smile, snuggling into Fenrir's broad form.

The werewolf stretched out to make them more comfortable, and it wasn't long before Harry's breathing evened out, his delicate body relaxing completely. Fenrir pulled the bear fur from the rock and tucked it around Harry to keep him warm while he slept.

His heart was filled with hope, love and something else that might have been pride or elation or simple happiness. Harry loved him. Harry had finally admitted it and Harry was back in his arms. He felt like he could battle the world or walk through a shower of silver without so much as a scratch. Invincible, with and for Harry. No one would hurt his little human ever again. Most of all, Fenrir wouldn't hurt him again.

Harry was beautiful, but the last few weeks and the full moon had left dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks sunken, and he looked frail and exhausted. He regretted the many fights they had had, how easily both of them were provoked, and no matter what Harry said, he regretted losing his temper and letting his jealousy get the better of him. But now he had been granted another chance and he would make this relationship work and show Harry that it was okay and safe to be in love with him.


Let me just say that I thought long and hard about this chapter and that, finally, I came to the conclusion that it does make sense to me... What do you think?