Ziva was lost in her own thoughts as she strode down the hospital hallway along with Tony and Gibbs on their way to see McGee. The hospital had wanted to run some tests to see if the tranquilizer they had used on McGee had had any lingering effects and keep an eye out for any signs of concussion. It looked like he was going to be here for a few days.

"What?" Ziva caught Tony peeking at her again. He opened his mouth to say something and then with a quick glance at Gibbs shut his mouth again with a snap.

An instant later he was doing it again. His hands were tapping on his thighs even as he walked, muttering silently under his breath, eyes shifting to look at Gibbs and Ziva every few minutes. He was basically freaking out in that oh so subtle DiNozzo way. Ziva knew perfectly well what image was burning itself into Tony's brain but she was happy to leave him in his current conflicted and confused state for at least a while longer. She had her own thoughts to worry about.

Tony felt like he was walking along towing a bright red wagon with a giant ugly MOAS sitting in it. A Mother Of All Secrets. A MOAS that rightfully belonged to McGee. A MOAS that seemed to be getting heavier and bigger every second and was currently leering gleefully at Tony from behind hairy twisted claws.

Tony wasn't particularly good with secrets, especially other peoples and generally felt no hesitation in rummaging through his co workers desks and personal belongings. This though was Probie and The Director. Just to clarify again because it needed clarifying because even though Tony had seen it he just didn't believe it.

He had seen McGee and Director Sheppard kissing. Each other.

And not just some sort of well done, good job for killing the psycho lady sort of peck on the check either. Tony felt like it was written in neon lights somewhere in a banner above his head.

NEWSFLASH!

He really needed to talk to someone before he just exploded from the stress of it all. Gibbs stepped away to speak to the Admissions desk and find out what room McGee had been put in and Tony saw his chance.

"Ziva?"

"What do you want Tony?" Ziva sighed.

Suddenly Tony didn't know what to say.

"Have you ever been really surprised by someone you thought you knew? Someone you trusted?"

Ziva stopped still for a minute and then slowly turned and stared intently at Tony.

"Yes Tony. I have"

Ah. Woops. She was talking about him.

Perhaps Ziva wasn't the best person to spill secrets too… about undercover relationships… and what can come from spending extra time alone with the Director.

"Well actually that wasn't what I meant. But you know…... I …..maybe…… you know we really should talk about that sometime…. you know ….maybe later."

The MOAS belched disgustingly and became larger and heavier sprouting warts all over its loathsome face. Ziva just narrowed her eyes at Tony then turned on her heel and walked across to Gibbs. Tony sighed and continued to pull his ugly burden along silently.

McGee was asleep when they quietly slipped into his room. There was something about McGee when he was asleep. Once Tony had heard a movie character claim that his Mother was upstairs sleeping the sleep of the just. He had never really understood what that meant but every time he saw McGee asleep he was reminded of it. It seemed the best description for how he looked, peaceful, face relaxed making him look even younger than he was and somehow pure of thought. Tony was sure he didn't look pure of thought when he was asleep. He probably smirked and talked dirty in his sleep. In fact he knew he did.

The three of them looked at each other, hesitant to wake McGee after his evening of adventures.

"Perhaps we could leave him a note so he knows we were here? Ziva pass me that pen over there." Tony pointed wildly at the cabinet on the other side of the room

"I would like to stay and wait until he wakes up." Ziva stood at the end of the bed arms crossed determined to be able to speak to him.

"That could be hours Ziva. He needs his sleep. I need my sleep. Pass me the pen."

"Get it yourself Tony. You're as close to it as I am." Ziva didn't budge

"Woah who got out of bed on the wrong side this morning"

"If you remember Tony I haven't been to bed yet so I haven't got up on any side yet."

"Yeah well .."

"Would you two shut up!" Gibbs growled and rubbed his tired itchy eyes. He really wasn't in the mood today.

Gibbs looked down at the bed at Jenny's young lover and his battered team mate and friend. Tim looked so damn young and Gibbs just felt old. Old and tired of stupid games. Games that got people hurt. Games that could have got people killed.

Was that one of the things that had attracted Jenny to Tim? His thirst for life? Being with someone who still saw so much around him that he wanted to learn and explore? A man who still saw people as predominately good and wanted to help catch those that hurt others?

Gibbs knew he battled weekly with the desire to simply toss it all in and go build that teak hot tub and damn the rest of the world. But McGee? He was one of the few men Gibbs had ever known who he could actually see rescuing a damsel in distress on a white charger, gleaming sword in hand and shiny NCIS badge stamped into his shield.

For a moment, just a moment did Jenny after all her battles long to be rescued?

Even Tony had his own private darkness that he hid behind jokes, pretty woman and movies. Gibbs knew that privately Tony envied McGee's easy place in the world and loving family and that when Tony said he never wanted to be McGee it was more about convincing himself of that than others.

With Timothy McGee there would have been no Shannon and Kelly, no alimony payments, no ex wives, no solitary nights in dark basements with too much Jack Daniels drunk out of jam jar glasses. With Tim, Jenny would get flowers and not just on her birthday, she would get opera tickets and someone to attend the opera with. She would get delight and enthusiasm instead of world weary resignation and a hatred of politics and the games that needed to be played.

And yet in the end it hadn't been enough. He knew what he had seen had been an ending and not a beginning. He had been initially shocked but in a way it had been a relief. Since the day Fornell had shown him the photos of McGee and Jenny together he had know on some level. And now? Now he knew that he was in love with Jennifer Sheppard. Again. But if Tim's youth, intelligence and delight in life hadn't been enough for Jenny and Tim to make it work, what chance did he have?

Tim blinked. He had been dreaming that Tony and Ziva were arguing and he had fallen asleep at his desk again. No. Gibbs was telling him off. No. Gibbs was telling Tony and Ziva off about something?

Tim blinked again and his dream world condensed into three faces peering at him.

Tim smiled groggily "Hi guys"

Tony beamed "You're awake! Hey there Buddy. How are you feeling?"

"Not much actually. I think they gave me some pain killers"

Tim shook his head trying to clear it as a dozen images flashed through his head. Most of them were painful, some he didn't even want to consider and none of them he wanted to talk about. Red Angels blood.

But still they looked expectantly at him. Waiting. All he could come up with was "Well that was a crazy morning"

Tony smirked thinking of all he had learned about his young partner in the last twenty four hours. "Tell me something I don't know"

"Ahh Ok." Tim considered for an instant searching for a distraction and smiled. He decided to utilize one of Tony's favorite tactics. Complete avoidance of any painful issue combined with something that would lighten the rather intense mood of the room.

"Ants don't sleep"

"What?" Tony looked confused wondering if the medication they were using on McGee was too high.

"You asked me to tell you something you didn't know. I figured you didn't know ants don't sleep"

Tony laughed relieved and looked at Ziva and Gibbs "Ants sleep. Of course they sleep. Everything sleeps. Don't they?"

Tim smirked happy to be able to stir Tony again as he had promised himself he would do more often.

"Tell me have you ever seen a sleeping ant, Tony?" Tim looked smug.

"You're pulling my leg McGee. You should just tell me, you know. I'm only going to Google it when I get out of here"

Tim shrugged frustratingly… and winced as his ribs protested.

"I believe I have seen a sleeping ant McGee." Ziva looked thoughtful.

"Was it dead or sleeping though Ziva?" Tim questioned

"How do you tell the difference between a dead ant and a sleeping ant?" Tony wondered aloud. Did they wear little tiny nightgowns like Wee Willy Winky? Did they snore?

"Is this some sort of joke?" Ziva seemed to be waiting for a punch line to come from either Tony or McGee and was eyeing them off warily.

"They must sleep. Where we can't see them. At night. You know, in their burrows." Tony was determined to prove himself right.

"In their burrows?? What are they rabbits? No they have…… what are they called…. Nests? No that's not it…. Colonies? Yes that's right colonies under the ground or in mounds" Ziva looked pleased with herself at this description.

Gibbs decided to cut through this ridiculous conversation. Sleeping ants? Everyone was definitely exhausted from the long activity filled sleepless night. Or at least he hoped that was what it was from.

"The Director will be over at some stage to talk to you and she wants a full debrief on what happened last night." Gibbs was official and cool. A subtle warning telling Tim that he would have to face Jenny again. And soon.

Tim sobered instantly and gave a small nod, grateful for the warning.

Tony bit his lip and tried desperately not to laugh at the idea of the Director giving Timmy Boy a de-brief. His struggles resulted in a fit of obscenely loud dramatic coughing complete with chest thumping as he tried to smoother the inappropriate laughter bubbling up. He thought he covered it well. Real smooth.

Gibbs quirked a brow suspiciously at Tony's antics.

"Sorry Boss. Hiccups" Tony attempted to look chastened as Ziva glared at him. He hastily grabbed a glass of water and swallowed several mouthfuls to give him time to calm down. De brief. Tony snickered again to himself.

Tim looked up at Gibbs where he stood at the side of the hospital bed, his face tired and his mouth showing lines of strain. It was strange but Tim never thought of Gibbs as old. He always seemed to have boundless energy and he was always at the front of the hunt, never sick, never tired. He never even sweated. And yet now in this instant Gibbs seemed tired. Old.

Tim thought of the man who shaped his career, personally selecting him to become a member of his team.

Whose rules saved his life.

Who he excluded from his confidence for months.

Who he had lied to by default.

Whose own life was put at risk when he came to save him.

On his long list of people he needed to talk to, Gibbs was right at the top. He honestly didn't know what he was going to say but then again around Gibbs he rarely did.

Jenny had told him moments had a way of escaping even when you chased after them and she was right. It had to be right here, right now before anything else happened.

"Boss. Can I talk to you? In private for a minute?" Tim's guilt ridden eyes searched out Gibbs's.

Gibbs nodded almost imperceptibly. Ok let's get this out of the way. He wasn't one for dragging things out. He preferred the direct approach. And he knew Tim well enough to know the kid was probably going to beat himself up if he didn't clear the air. He turned to see Ziva already hustling a resisting Tony wide eyed out the door.

"We will be waiting in the hall, Gibbs"

"Do you think that's a good idea? " Tony hissed to Ziva alarmed at the idea of a showdown between a tired, cranky and pissed off Gibbs verses a tired and hurting, morphine doped McGee. Who was talking about ants.

The door shut behind them before Gibbs got a chance to hear Ziva's reply.

Gibbs sighed and sat down in the seat beside McGee's bed

"Ok McGee. Spit it out"

Tim just nodded. Where should he start?

"I know you don't accept apologies. But I need to give you one and at this stage I don't care if you accept it or not but its something I have to do. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Things didn't work out the way I thought they would"

Gibbs smiled sadly "They never do Tim"

"It's not that I didn't trust you. You taught us that if we have to keep a secret tell no one and if you absolutely must then tell one person only. It had to be the Director. I had to know if what they were doing, approaching me had been sanctioned or not. And then once I was in… well to be honest I kept waiting for something to happen, a breakthrough so I would have something that I could come to you with. But the something never happened."

"Oh it happened alright. It's just that it happened to you McGee. And it nearly cost you your life. And the Directors"

Tim nodded and swallowed as he remembered that instant. The reverberation down his arms, the loud crack of gunfire, the prayer he sent up that his aim was true in the murky pre dawn light and he wouldn't kill Jenny herself.

Tim nodded, his lower lip trembling with determination "I just wanted so much to really know what it was like to be under cover. To really do some good. Just once I wanted to do something surprising and show people that I'm not just a good agent but I'm a good Field agent. Everyone just thinks of me as the computer expert but I want to be more than that. It sounds so crazy now but I was so happy that it was me that was approached instead of Tony or Ziva or one of the others. I thought here's my chance."

Tim opened his mouth to continue and Gibbs put a soothing hand on his arm halting him.

"It's ok McGee. I understand. Really I do"

Gibbs was surprised as he felt himself pinned with a McGee stare and he felt himself being assessed. Judged. An instant later Tim nodded satisfied.

Gibbs almost smiled. This whole thing might actually have been good for McGee. It seemed like he had spent a bit of time thinking about what he wanted once this whole thing was over and he knew what he wanted.

"There is something else Boss. Something else I need to tell you. It's about the Director…."

Gibbs again decided to cut to the chase knowing this whole subject must be painful for McGee. And for him. Still he had to give it to him. The man had guts. McGee didn't have to tell him and he certainly didn't have to tell him this now. It technically wasn't any of his business.

"It's ok McGee. I know. I saw you and the Director……. kissing back at the scene. I should have said something then… but I was a bit surprised. I'm ok with it. The Director is a single woman and can make her own choices."

Tim looked up at Gibbs, his big eyes surprised and then he squirmed in embarrassment.

"You saw?" Tim whispered.

Gibbs just nodded and smiled sadly "Yeah. And judging by the way DiNozzo's twitching and Ziva's glaring and dragging him outta here they both saw you as well."

Tim just sat back against his pillows with a wince and closed his eyes, absorbing this unwanted information.

"Boss?"

"Yeah McGee?" Gibbs was gentle. He could see the flush spreading up McGee's neck bright against the white pillows.

"I want you to know we never…."

"I don't need to know that you and Jenny never.." Gibbs forcefully cut McGee off. This was getting way too personal and he knew Jenny wouldn't appreciate it. Even if a part of him celebrated the news.

Tim flushed an even deeper shade of pink "No Boss that's not what I meant…. Although we never did that either…. But what I meant to say …. Is that we never even got started. The kiss you saw was it."

This time it was Gibbs who sat back surprised. He had known it was a goodbye but the way they just fitted together had made him think that there had been touches, kisses and embraces long before that one.

Gibbs opened his mouth and then closed it again. Perhaps all the times he had lain awake tormenting himself as his own imagination filled in lurid details of what McGee and Jenny might have been doing influenced what he saw?

Gibbs finally nodded "Thank you McGee. You didn't need to tell me that."

Tim smiled awkwardly "There has already been too many secrets around here and I don't want there to be any more."

Suddenly there was a squawk and a shuffling at the door and Tim could hear Tony and Ziva trying to restrain someone from coming in. Noisily.

"Gibbs! They won't let me in! Tell them it's alright!"

Tim smiled. Abby.

Gibbs shook his head, smiling. "Its ok let her in"

Suddenly a dark haired whirlwind shot through the door and launched itself at Tim. Tim held up his arms in defense of his cracked ribs and bruised stomach while Gibbs instinctively reached for her shoulders restraining her enthusiasm.

"Careful Ab's"

"Oh Timmy I am so sorry for hanging up on you! I KNEW there was something going on. Why didn't you tell me? Are you ok?" Abby bounced on the side of the bed while Tony and Ziva peered cautiously around the side of the door. Gibbs impatiently waived them into the room and they gingerly gathered around McGee's bed, assessing the two combatants curiously.

Tim shrugged and remembered his ribs again. He really must remember that. Ouch.

"Yeah I'm ok. They want to keep me in for a couple of days to keep an eye on me."

"Oh your wrists are all bandaged. What happened to them?"

"They tied me to a chair and my wrists got pretty roughed up while I was cutting my way out."

Tony and Ziva looked at each other and chorused "Rule Nine"

"Oh how did you get that cut on your cheek? Did they slash at you with knife? Did they cut you to make you bleed?" Abby's eyes danced with the horror of the situation and she reached across and gently ran her fingers down the cut.

What was it that made women want to do that? Tim wondered, remembering Jenny's gently trailing fingertips.

"Ah no Abby. Actually that one was my fault. I was looking for puddles and I walked into a tree branch."

Abby looked doubtful "You're just saying that so I won't be so worried about you."

Tim smiled "I wish. Nope actually that is true. Nothing more sinister than a tree branch I'm afraid. Although if you could keep that to yourself I would appreciate it."

Gibbs briefly caught Tim's eye and then he slipped out leaving the rest of them to discuss McGee's continual poor tree avoidance techniques. Gibbs sat down on one of the hard plastic chairs in the hallway and listened to his team chatter happily together. With a tired sigh Gibbs rubbed his hands over his face. He knew it was all a cover. He had seen the shadows flitting across Tim's eyes before he hid the darkness from them behind a happy smile. But he had also seen the steel in that same gaze and he knew that essentially McGee would be ok.

Tim was strong and like his young body he would heal. If anything this whole experience might make him stronger. It would certainly make Tony look at him in a different light.

Gibbs suddenly felt relief wash over him and ease some of the tension he had been carrying and he slumped forward leaning onto his knees. He of all people knew how different it could have gone. An instant and he could have been back at the Bullpen staring at another empty chair. Or cradling Jenny's limp cold body in his hands.

He knew suddenly that he couldn't afford to stay silent. Not anymore. Not now that Tim had released him. He wasn't sure how but he was going to have to tell Jenny that he loved her. She might well tell him to go to hell. But he had already let too many moments slip through his fingers. Gibbs felt calmer and more assured than he had in months as he listened to the laughter coming from McGee's room.

"Abby? Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure Tony."

"Do ants sleep?"