After Will left Alicia's, she decided it was time to talk to Grace about Will. They had talked about the press conference a few weeks back. But things were changing, and she knew Will would be spending more time with her, and likely Grace. She wanted Grace to be comfortable with the situation.
"Will may be... we will be seeing more of him... here. Are you going to be okay with that?" she questioned, sitting next to Grace on the sofa.
"Yes, I just..." She didn't know what to say. Not because she disapproved of Will, or her mother spending time with him.
"Grace, I'm not trying to replace your dad with Will."
"I know. I just don't understand your relationship with him."
"I know, and I want to explain. You understand why I said the things I did at the press conference when the divorce was announced. We discussed it, and you know Will and I weren't sleeping together. The part about me denying an affair was true."
"Yes, but are things getting that serious? Is he moving in with us?" Grace was feeling quite uncomfortable.
"No, no. He is... helping me through some of the stress of recovering. He and I are good friends. We care about each other. We are trying to build our friendship again. All that's happened to me over the past five months has been hard. Right now, I'm struggling mentally. That's why Will came over this afternoon. He knew what I needed, and knew how to help me."
"Isn't that why you are seeing the psychologist?"
"Yes, but with that I need to be able to talk to someone when I'm not at the psychologists office who understands. Will understands better than anyone else."
"Because of the rape, and when you went to Ohio with him?"
"Yes, and because of our history. I trust him. After what happened to me, it's difficult to put my trust in many people. Right now I need support from another adult. He and I aren't going to rush into anything. But down the road, there is a chance things will become serious between us. I'd like you to get to know him better."
A gentle smile crosses Grace's lips. "He's a good guy isn't he?"
"Yes. He's one of the most caring men I've ever known."
"Okay. I just wanted to understand better, and now I do."
Alicia pulled her into a hug. "I love you."
After Alicia's crash, Natalie decided it might be good to take a step back and address the depressive symptoms she was showing, as well as deal with Alicia's history with Peter. All of this added extra sessions to her recovery timeline. Although Will hadn't attended any of the sessions with her yet, she had learned a few things about herself, which allowed for more open communication with him.
Over the next few weeks, Will came around the apartment more. He, Alicia and Grace had dinner together a few times. They spent a Saturday afternoon together. These small gestures on Alicia's part, allowing him to get to know Grace better, helped solidify his trust in her feelings towards him. Taking a good portion of the physical aspect out of their relationship, had only aided in bringing them closer together.
At points during those weeks, he'd find himself watching her like he used to, and wanting nothing more than to feel her next to him. In these moments she'd catch his eye and give him a look that sent a tingling sensation through his entire body. But they continued to keep their physical contact with each other to a minimum. They would sit next to each other. He'd put his arm around her, hold her. There had been a few nights where they had kissed before parting ways, but ever since their first date it hadn't gone any further. They hadn't discussed it, and in many ways, neither one knew where to go to next. They were both nervous about the situation.
By the end of November, they'd had two joint therapy sessions, where Natalie had focused on their communication, and rebuilding a new trust in each other. She had given them a list of exercises to work on during the weeks. Most of which they found easy to accomplish, and silly in some ways.
The following session focused on the physical aspects of their relationship, both past and present. This session was a little more difficult to get through, purely because discussing intimacy with an outsider was uncomfortable, even if it was with a trained therapist.
"I think we would both like more... intimacy," Alicia spoke up. "But after what happened a few months ago... I'm nervous, despite the fact that we've had a few good months together." She looked away from both Will and Natalie. "I'm worried that I'll never be able to feel comfortable or safe under intimate circumstances. It's one thing to talk about how I'm feeling, practice breathing techniques, and do self talk exercises. It's completely different to remove all my clothing and feel... vulnerable. I don't want to feel tense and scared once our physical contact moves past a passionate kiss." She glanced back at Will who tightened his grasp on her hand.
"I don't want to push her into anything that scares her. But I would like more intimate, physical contact. It's a different way of feeling connected to a person. I don't know what to do, other than give her more time."
"It will take time. This is a process. Once you're ready, and it sounds like both of you are, it may take weeks, even months before you'll be able to progress all the way to intercourse," Natalie said, empathetically.
Alicia glanced over to Will who hadn't taken his eyes off her in minutes. He knew she felt guilty. "It's okay. I don't care how long it takes. I don't want you to worry, or feel guilty on my account, because of the way your body reacts. The relationship we had four years ago was very physical. It will be great once we are able to add some of that back in. But maybe that's part of the reason we couldn't make it last back then. We never talked about us. We talked about everything else, but never how we felt about each other. This is different.
"Will's right. The relationship you're building now is strong, and healthy. I'm going to recommend you try what's called, conscious connecting exercises. It's a method used for couples in all types of situations, but is especially helpful for those that involve a sexual assault victim. This is a progressive method that will help both of you, but especially Alicia, reconnect physically, and move back into intimacy and love making slowly, and safely."
She handed each of them a copy of the plan. "You can read through this together. The first few steps are to be done fully clothed. Don't move on to the next step until Alicia is comfortable with the preceding one. The first few may only take a few weeks to get through. Steps four through six will likely take longer before Alicia will feel comfortable enough to move to the next. I'd leave it up to her to decide when she's ready to move on."
They read through the information and asked a few question. When they were done, Natalie told them she wanted to see Alicia in a week and both of them sometime after the New Year.
A few days later, they had set aside some time to work on the first step. Will was at Alicia's, and they had planned on running through things later in the evening after Grace had gone to bed. Until then, Will was enjoying observing Grace and the group of friends she had over.
Alicia had just set an empty tray of snacks on the counter. "Are they always like this? They haven't stopped talking during the entire movie, but they seem to know what's going on even though none of them have seen it before."
Alicia laughed. "Yep, it's always like this. They're busy trying to act grown up, and mature as high school seniors because they know they're going to college soon. But deep down they're still just kids, dealing with hormones, crushes, and worrying about how they look." She looked over to the living room. "I would never want to be a teen again."
"Me either," he responded with a cough.
"Are you feeling okay? You've been coughing all afternoon." Alicia moved closer to him, placing a hand to his forehead.
"I'm fine. My throat's been dry all day."
"I'm sending you home early tonight to get some sleep. We can work on our plan tomorrow night."
He let out a slight laugh. "Yes, mom."
She rolled her eyes. "Someone has to look out for you, or that cough will get worse, and in a few days I'll be at your place nursing you back to health."
He chuckled again.
"What's so funny?"
"Up until the last few weeks, I hadn't ever been around you when you're in full on mother mode. The snacks for the kids' friends, pretending to not listen in on their conversations, calling Zach and cracking down on him over his grades."
He stepped closer to her wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Do you have a problem with that?" Her smile widened, as she moved closer to him.
"No, I enjoy it. I'm discovering a side of you I've never known. A side I never thought I'd be allowed to see."
Her hands moved to his chest. "What sides of you do I still have to discover?"
"None. I'm an open book," he said, raising his brow.
"I doubt that."
He let go of her, and backed up as another coughing fit set in.
"That's it. I'm sending you home." She moved past him and around the corner. A minute later she returned. "Take this," she said, holding up a bottle of cough syrup. "And one of these now, and one before you go to bed." She handed him a box of zinc tablets.
He took them from her, and then held them up with a grin across his face. "Mother mode!"
"Don't tease or I'll follow you home and make you stay in bed for the next three days until you're well, and you won't get any work done."
He laughed under his breath, and kissed her forehead. "I'm not sick."
"Uh huh," she took his hand, leading him to the front door. "See you in a few days."
Three days later she went to his office for a scheduled lunch date. She knocked on the door to his office. Diane was standing in front of him. Diane signaled for her to enter. They exchanged pleasantries, and then the two women turned their attention to Will who was sitting with his eyes closed, and head resting against the back of the sofa. Alicia sat next to him. He smiled at her without opening his eyes. She noticed he wasn't looking so good.
"I think he should go home," Diane offered, placing her hands to her hips. "But he won't listen to me."
"I'll be fine Diane. I just need to rest for a few minutes."
"Will, you sound awful." Alicia lifted her hand to his forehead. "Our lunch just got moved to your apartment."
He opened his eyes and looked at her ready to protest. But his head was throbbing from sinus congestion. He didn't put up any more of a fight.
Alicia drove him home, and led him straight to the bedroom when they entered the apartment. He collapsed onto the bed. She began removing his shoes. "Leesh, I feel awful. My whole body aches."
She smiled and gently unbuttoned his shirt. "Do you have anything to take for the congestion?"
He moved under the covers and laid his head against the pillows. "I don't know. It's been a long time since I felt this awful."
She tucked the blanket around him, and went in search of some medication. It took a few minutes to locate any. After looking through both bathrooms, and all logical places in the kitchen, she was about to give up. When she grabbed a can of soup from the cupboard, she had to laugh. There was a bottle of pain reliever tucked among the other cans. She couldn't help but compare the organized lawyer in him, to the obvious bachelor.
She returned to the bedroom, and sat next to him. "Take this. It will help with the fever, so you can get some rest. I have some soup on the stove. I'll bring it in for you before I go back to the office. I'll come later with something for the sinus pressure."
"Thank you. I'd kiss you if I didn't think you'd get sick."
She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss to his temple. "Stay in bed while I'm gone. You need to rest." She stood and left the room.
She spent much of her free time away from the office, at Will's over the next few days. She made him meals, kept him entertained, and even did a few loads of laundry, and some straightening up. They were on the sofa in the front room. She was working. He was laying down watching a basketball game. He noticed how nervous she had seemed throughout the evening. "Something is bothering you."
She looked up from the laptop and over to him. "I'm going back to court next week, and I'm nervous. I've been able to avoid it ever since..." she sighed. "I did everything I could to put it off. I managed to settle cases outside of court. I gave Cary and the other partners the cases that I could tell would need to go to court. Six weeks ago I decided it was time to stop avoiding the courtroom. Monday will be my first case before a judge in seven months."
Will hadn't realized any of this. "Are you going to be okay?"
"Yes. I'm sure it will be fine. I'm just feeling nervous, being a bit out of practice, and with all of the memories from the last time I was in court, it's just a bit unsettling."
Will nodded.
"I'm thinking of buying a house," she stated next.
"A house?" he questioned, his voice still filled with congestion. He was surprised at the abrupt turn in the conversation.
"Yes. Somewhere out of the city. I don't want a long commute, but I feel trapped in the apartment, all the noise, and sharing walls with other people. When I walk out the front door, I want to be outside in my own space."
He was still processing the idea so didn't respond.
"You think it's a bad idea?"
"No," he sat up and smiled at her. "I think it's a good idea. How much space are you thinking? I mean, you'll be an empty-nester in six months."
"Not to big. Enough room for the kids to be comfortable when they visit, an office space, big kitchen, and lots of light."
"When I come over can I move things around like you did here?" He raised a brow to her.
She couldn't help but laugh at his comment. "I didn't move things around. I just made sure you had clean socks, a linen closet full of clean towels, and a refrigerator with something other than beer and eggs in it."
He leaned in closer to her. "And I appreciate all the clean clothes, towels, blankets, and fully stocked kitchen."
"Good, then yes, you can move things around to wherever you want when you're at my new place."
A look of victory crossed his features, as she leant in to kiss his cheek.
"You're going to do great in court next week. Your negotiating skills are still top notch." he encouraged.
She sat back and closed her eyes, a feeling of unwarranted exhaustion setting in. "As long as I'm healthy. If I'm coming down with something, I'm blaming you."
He chuckled and laid the other half of his blanket over her, as she rested her head against his chest. "Fair enough counselor, fair enough."
A/N: Thank you all so much for reading, and sticking with me through this. There is only one chapter left which will be published in the next few days.
