SUPER THRONE 24 DEAD

Valar Dohaeris [3.01][edit]

[Jon is brought into Mance Rayder's Wildling camp by Ygritte and Rattleshirt; he observes the Wildlings, then sees a Giant carrying mammoth tusks and is amazed]

Ygritte: (grins) First time you've seen a giant, Jon Snow? (Jon nods, still staring at the giant) Well, don't stare too long. They're shy- but when they stop being shy, they get angry. And when they're angry, I've seen them pound a man straight into the ground like a hammer on a nail. (she walks past, Jon follows; the Wildling children begin shouting "Crow!" at Jon and occasionallly throwing pebbles at him) You're wearing the wrong color.

Jon Snow: Mance was a Ranger.

Ygritte: In your hearts, all you Crows want to fly free.

Jon Snow: When I'm free, will I be free to go? (two more children run at him yelling "Crow" and throw their stones)

Ygritte: Sure you will! (knocks down the children with her spear, then turns to smile at Jon) And I'll be free to kill you. (they keep walking) Got no respect, this lot- got no fathers to slap 'em when they're foul.

Jon Snow: What happened to their fathers?

Ygritte: Some of 'em were killed by Crows like you. Don't look so glum, Jon Snow- if Mance Rayder likes you, you'll live another day. And if he don't... (grins at him again)

Tormund Giantsbane: (eating chicken as Jon is brought into Mance Rayder's tent by Ygritte and Rattleshirt) I smell a Crow.

Rattleshirt: We killed his friends- thought you'd want to question this one.

Tormund Giantsbane: What do we want with a baby Crow?

Ygritte: This baby killed Qhorin Halfhand. (pause, Tormund turns to look at Jon) He wants to be one of us.

Tormund Giantsbane: (stands up and steps towards Jon) That halfhanded cunt killed friends of mine- friends twice your size.

Jon Snow: My father taught me big men fall just as quick as little ones if you put a sword through their hearts. (in the corner of the tent, Mance glances over, interested)

Tormund Giantsbane: Plenty of little men tried to put their swords through my heart. And there's plenty of little skeletons buried in the woods. What's your name, boy?

Jon Snow: Jon Snow... Your Grace. (he kneels, thinking Tormund is the King-Beyond-the-Wall; after a pause, all the Wildlings in the tent burst out laughing)

Tormund Giantsbane: "Your Grace?" Do you hear that? From now on, you'd better kneel every time I fart.

Mance Rayder: (comes forward) Stand, boy- we don't kneel for anyone beyond the Wall. (studies Jon) So- you're Ned Stark's Bastard? Thank you for the gift, Lord of Bones- you can leave us. (Rattleshirt leaves, followed more slowly by Ygritte) The girl likes you. You like her back, Snow? That why you want to join us?

Tormund Giantsbane: Don't panic, boy- this isn't the damp Night's Watch where we make you swear off girls.

Mance Rayder: This chicken-eater you thought was King is Tormund Giantsbane.

Tormund Giantsbane: (walks around Jon) Can't believe this... pup killed Halfhand.

Mance Rayder: He was our enemy, and I'm glad he's dead... (offers his hand, Jon shakes it) But he was my Brother, once. Back when he had a whole hand. What were you doin' with him?

Jon Snow: The Lord Commander sent me to the Halfhand, for seasoning.

Mance Rayder: Why?

Jon Snow: He wants me to lead one day-

Mance Rayder: But here you are, a traitor, kneeling before the King-Beyond-the-Wall.

Jon Snow: If I'm a traitor... then you are, too. (Mance's bodyguard, Fellback, looks up angrily. Mance pauses, then steps closer)

Mance Rayder:...Why do you want to join us, Jon Snow?

Jon Snow:...I want to be free.

Mance Rayder: (smiles coldly) No- I don't think so. I think what you want, most of all, is to be a hero. (Fellback stands up, brandishing his battleaxe; he and Tormund both step closer to Jon) I'll ask you one last time- why do you want to join us?

Jon Snow:...We stopped at Craster's Keep on the way north. I saw...

Mance Rayder: You saw what?

Jon Snow:...I saw Craster take his own baby boy, and leave it in the woods. I saw what took it. (pause, Mance stares at him)

Mance Rayder: You're telling me you saw... one of Them. And why would that make you desert your Brothers?

Jon Snow: Because, when I told the Lord Commander... he already knew. (pause) Thousands of years ago, the First Men battled the White Walkers and defeated them. I want to fight for the side that fights for the living. (pause) Did I come to the right place?

Mance Rayder:...We'll need to find you a new cloak.

Jorah Mormont: (observing Dany's dragons catching fish)...They're growing fast.

Daenerys Targaryen: Not fast enough. I can't wait that long.(pause) I need an army.

Jorah Mormont: We'll be in Astapor by nightfall. Some say the Unsullied are the greatest soldiers in the world-

Daenerys Targaryen: (turns to face him) The greatest slave-soldiers in the world. The distinction means a good deal to some people-

Jorah Mormont: Do those people have any better ideas about how to put you on the Iron Throne?

Daenerys Targaryen:...It's too beautiful of a day, to argue. (one of her Dothraki followers vomits)

Jorah Mormont:...You're right. Another lovely day on the high seas-

Daenerys Targaryen: Don't mock them. They're the first Dothraki who've ever been on a ship- they followed me across the Poison Water! If they'll do it, others will, and with a true Khalasar-

Jorah Mormont: The Dothraki follow strength above all, Khaleesi. You'll have a true Khalasar when you prove yourself strong- and not before.

Bronn: As much as I appreciate the walk in the sunshine, your Lordship, I am wondering why you sent for me.

Tyrion Lannister: A number of people in this city want me killed- you're here to protect me.

Bronn: I've been doing that for a while, now.

Tyrion Lannister: Have you grown bored protecting me?

Bronn: I grow poor protecting you.

Tyrion Lannister: (scoffs) Poor? Under my patronage, you've become a knight, you've served as commander of the City Watch-

Bronn: Briefly.

Tyrion Lannister: (rolls his eyes) I'm sure you've filled your pockets.

Bronn: (shrugs) And now, my pockets are empty. You've given me a taste for the finer things- and, if you want me to carry on protecting you, you'll have to pay more.

Tyrion Lannister: I thought we were friends.

Bronn: We are- but I'm a sellsword. I sell my sword- I don't loan it out to friends as a favor.

Tyrion Lannister: (giving in) How much?

Bronn: Double.

Tyrion Lannister: Double?!

Bronn: I'm a knight, now- knights are worth double.

Tyrion Lannister: I don't even know what I'm paying you now!

Bronn: Which means you can afford it.

Tyrion Lannister: The badge looks good on you. Almost as good as it looked on me. [Tywin doesn't answer] Are you enjoying your new position?

Tywin Lannister: Am I enjoying it?

Tyrion Lannister: I was very happy as Hand of the King.

Tywin Lannister: Yes. I heard how happy you were. You brought a whore into my bed.

Tyrion Lannister: It wasn't your bed at the time.

Tywin Lannister: I sent you here to advise the king. I gave you real power and authority. You chose to spend your days as you always have: bedding harlots and drinking with thieves.

Tyrion Lannister: Occasionally I drank with the harlots.

Tywin Lannister: What do you want, Tyrion?

Tyrion Lannister: Why does everyone assume I want something? Can't I simply visit with my beloved father? My beloved father who somehow forgot to visit his wounded son after he fell on the battlefield.

Tywin Lannister: Maester Pycelle assured me your wounds were not fatal.

Tyrion Lannister: I organized the defense of this city while you held court in the ruins of Harrenhal. I led the foray when the enemies were at the gate while your grandson, the king, quivered in fear behind the walls. I bled in the mud for our family. And as my reward, I was trundled off to some dark little cell. But what do I want? A little bloody gratitude would be a start.

Tywin Lannister: Jugglers and singers require applause. You are a Lannister. Do you think I demanded a garland of roses every time I suffered a wound on a battlefield? Hmm? Now, I have seven kingdoms to look after and three of them are in open rebellion. So tell me what you want.

Tyrion Lannister: I want what is mine by right. Jaime is your eldest son, heir to your lands and titles. But he is a Kingsguard, forbidden from marriage or inheritance. The day Jaime put on the white cloak, he gave up his claim to Casterly Rock. I am your son and lawful heir.

Tywin Lannister: You want Casterly Rock?

Tyrion Lannister: It is mine by right.

Tywin Lannister: We'll find you accommodations more suited to your name and as a reward for your accomplishments during the battle of Blackwater Bay. And when the time is right, you will be given a position fit for your talents so that you can serve your family and protect our legacy. And if you serve faithfully, you will be rewarded with a suitable wife. And I would let myself be consumed by maggots before mocking the family name and making you heir to Casterly Rock.

Tyrion Lannister: Why?

Tywin Lannister: Why? You ask that? You, who killed your mother to come into the world? You are an ill-made, spiteful little creature full of envy, lust, and low cunning. Men's laws give you the right to bear my name and display my colors since I cannot prove that you are not mine. And to teach me humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud lion that was my father's sigil and his father's before him. But neither gods nor men will ever compel me to let you turn Casterly Rock into your whorehouse. Go, now. Speak no more of your rights to Casterly Rock. Go. [Tyrion walks away] Oh, one more thing. The next whore I catch in your bed, I'll hang.

Davos Seaworth: Your Grace, you are the rightful king. Not only by blood. You're an honorable man, a just man. And there is still a war to fight.

Stannis Baratheon: I am fighting.

Davos Seaworth: By burning prisoners alive?

Melissandre: How would you punish the infidels, Ser Davos?

Davos Seaworth: I do not judge people for the gods they worship. If I did, I'd have thrown you in the sea before you ever set foot on Dragonstone.

Melissandre: I'm not your enemy.

Davos Seaworth: You are my enemy.

Melissandre: Was it me you fought on Blackwater Bay? Did I set your ships ablaze? I wasn't there when the wildfire killed our men by the thousands. I could have saved those men. You would have taken the city, Stannis would now sit upon his rightful throne, and you would stand beside him. But I wasn't there because you convinced your king to leave me behind. Do you hear them screaming? All those burning men in the water crying for their mothers, for their gods for help? Until the moment the Blackwater swallowed them. Don't despair, Ser Davos. What I told your son is true. Death by fire is the purest death.

[Davos pulls out a knife and tries to stab Melissandre, but is restrained by the guards.

Davos Seaworth: This woman is evil! She's the mother of demons.

Stannis Baratheon: Take him to the dungeon and lock him in a cell.

Davos Seaworth: Your Grace!

Melissandre: You've chosen the darkness, Ser Davos.

Davos Seaworth [to Stannis] She will destroy us all!

Melissandre: I will pray for you.

Joffrey Baratheon: I do apologize, my lady. Small council meetings. At what point does it become treason to waste the king's time? That's a lovely gown, my lady.

Cersei Lannister: Yes, it suits you perfectly. I imagine you might be rather cold.

Margaery Tyrell: The climate is a bit more forgiving back in Highgarden, Your Grace.

Joffrey Baratheon: Shall I have them bring you a shawl, my lady?

Margaery Tyrell: I am touched by your concern, Your Grace. Luckily for us Tyrells, our blood runs quite warm. Doesn't it, Loras?

Loras Tyrell: Yes.

Margaery Tyrell: Loras, isn't the queen's gown magnificent? The fabric, the embroidery, the metalwork. I've never seen anything like it.

Cersei Lannister: You might find a bit of armor quite useful once you become queen. Perhaps before. Joffrey tells me you stopped your carriage at Flea Bottom on your way back from the sept this morning.

Margaery Tyrell: Yes. I paid a visit to an orphanage the High Septon told me about.

Loras Tyrell: Margaery does a great deal of work with the poor back in Highgarden. The lowest among us are no different from the highest if you give them a chance and approach them with an open heart.

Cersei Lannister: An open heart is what you'll get in Flea Bottom if you're not careful, my dear. Not long ago, we were attacked by a mob there. We had a full complement of guards that didn't stop them. The king barely escaped with his life.

Joffrey Baratheon: My mother's always had a penchant for drama. Facts become less and less important to her as she grows older. Our lives were never truly in danger.

Cersei Lannister: You're right, of course. But you are your father's son. We can't all have a king's bravery.

Margaery Tyrell: Hunger turns men into beasts. I'm glad House Tyrell has been able to help in this regard. They tell me 100 wagons arrive daily now from the Reach. Wheat, barley, apples. We've had a blessed harvest. And, of course, it's our duty to assist the capital in time of need.

Joffrey Baratheon: Well, as Ser Loras said, Lady Margaery has done this sort of... charitable work before. I'm sure she knows what she's doing.

Cersei Lannister: I'm sure she does.

[Missandei translates Kraznys, who cannot speak the Common Tongue, explanation of Unsullied's training to Daenerys]

Missandei: They begin their training at five. Every day they drill from dawn to dusk until they have mastered the shortsword, the shield, and the three spears. Only one boy in four survives this rigorous training. Their discipline and loyalty are absolute. They fear nothing.

Jorah Mormont: Even the bravest men fear death.

Missandei: [in High Valyrian] The knight says even brave men fear death.

Kraznys mo Nakloz: [in High Valyrian] Tell the old man he smells like piss.

Missandei: [pauses] [in High Valyrian] Truly, Master?

Kraznys mo Nakloz: [in High Valyrian No, not truly. Are you a girl or a goat to ask such a thing?

Missandei: [in the Common Tongue] My master says the Unsullied are not men. Death means nothing to them.

Kraznys mo Nakloz: in High Valyrian] Tell this ignorant whore of a Westerner to open her eyes and watch.

Missandei: He begs you attend to this carefully, Your Grace.

Daenerys Targaryen: Tell the good master there is no need.

Kraznys: [in High Valyrian] She's worried about their nipples. Does the dumb bitch know we've cut off their balls? [cuts off the nipple of one of the Unsullied, who doesn't even flinch]

Missandei: My master points out that men don't need nipples.

Kraznys: [in High Valyrian] Here, I'm done with you.

Unsullied soldier: [in High Valyrian] This one is pleased to have served you.

Missandei: To win his shield, an Unsullied must go to the slave marts with a silver mark, find a newborn and kill it before its mother's eyes. This way, my master says, we make certain there is no weakness left in them.

Daenerys Targaryen: You take a babe from its mother's arms, kill it as she watches, and pay for her pain with a silver coin?

Missendei: [in High Valyrian] She is offended. She asks if you pay a silver coin to the mother, for her dead baby.

Kraznys: [in High Valyrian] What a soft mewling fool this one is.

Missandei: My master would like you to know that the silver is paid to the baby's owner, not the mother.

Daenerys Targaryen: How many do you have to sell?

[Kraznys holds up eight fingers]

Daenerys Targaryen: 8,000.

Kraznys: [in High Valyrian] Tell the Westerosi whore she has until tomorrow.

Missandei: Master Kraznys asks that you please hurry. Many other buyers are interested.

[Ser Barristan Selmy has just saved Dany from a poisonous manticore; the girl who set it on her hisses, showing blue gums, and disappears]

Daenerys Targaryen: The Warlocks (looks at Ser Jorah Mormont, then to Selmy) I owe you my life, Ser.

Barristan Selmy: (removes his hood) The honor is mine, my Queen. (Jorah recognizes him and stiffens)

Daenerys Targaryen: (looks at Jorah) Do you know this man?

Jorah Mormont:(nods)...I know him. As one of the greatest fighters the Seven Kingdoms has ever seen... and as the Lord Commander of Robert Baratheon's Kingsguard. (Dany looks quickly between Jorah and Ser Barristan)

Ser Barristan Selmy: (walks up to them) King Robert is dead. I have been searching for you, Daenerys Stormborn, to ask your forgiveness. I was sworn to protect your family...I failed them. (he kneels before her) I am Barristan Selmy, Kingsguard to your father. Allow me to join your Queensguard, and I will not fail you again.

Dark Wings, Dark Words [3.02][edit]

Jaime Lannister: You know, it doesn't matter how loyal a servant you are, no one enjoys the company of a humorless mute. Trust me on this. People have been serving me since I was born. You think Lady Stark is going to want a giant towheaded plank following her around for the rest of her life? A week's journey with you and she'll order you to fall on your sword.

Brienne: If Lady Stark is unhappy with any aspect of my service, I'm sure she'll let me know. She's an honest woman.

Jaime Lannister: For all the good it's done her. How did you come into Lady Stark's service? There's something we can talk about.

Brienne: Not your concern, Kingslayer.

Jaime Lannister: It had to be recently. You weren't with her at Winterfell.

Brienne: How would you know?

Jaime Lannister: Because I visited Winterfell. I would have noticed your dour head smacking into the archways.

Brienne: Move.

Jaime Lannister: Were you pledged to Stannis?

Brienne: [disgustedly] Gods, no.

Jaime Lannister: Ah, Renly. Really? He wasn't fit to rule over anything more important than a 12-course meal.

Brienne: Shut your mouth.

Jaime Lannister: Why? I lived with him at court since he was a boy, don't forget. Could hardly escape the little tulip skipping down the corridors in his embroidered silks. I knew him far better than you.

Brienne: I knew him as well as anyone. As a member of his Kingsguard, he trusted me with everything. He would have been a wonderful king.

Jaime Lannister: Sounds like you quite fancied him.

Brienne: I did not fancy him.

Jaime Lannister: Oh, gods, you did. Did you ever tell him? No, of course not. You weren't Renly's type, I'm afraid. He preferred curly-haired little girls like Loras Tyrell. You're far too much man for him.

Brienne: I'm not interested in foul rumors.

Jaime Lannister: Unless they're about me. It's all true about Renly. His proclivities were the worst kept secret at court. It's a shame the throne isn't made out of cocks. They'd have never got him off it.

Brienne: [grabs Jaime by his hair] Shut your mouth!

Jaime Lannister: I don't blame him. And I don't blame you, either. We don't get to choose who we love.

Margaery Tyrell: Lady Sansa, it is my honor to present my grandmother... the Lady Olenna of House Tyrell.

Olenna Tyrell Kiss me, child. [Sansa does so] It's so good of you to visit me and my foolish flock of hens. We're very sorry for your losses.

Sansa Stark: And I was sorry when I heard of Lord Renly's death, Lady Margaery. He was very gallant.

Olenna Tyrell: Gallant, yes. And charming and very clean. He knew how to dress and smile and somehow this gave him the notion he was fit to be king.

Margaery Tyrell: Renly was brave and gentle, Grandmother. Father liked him and so did Loras.

Olenna Tyrell Loras is young and very good at knocking men off horses with a stick. That does not make him wise. As to your fathead father-

Margaery Tyrell: Grandmother! What will Sansa think of us?

Olenna Tyrell: She might think we have some wits about us. One of us, at any rate. It was treason. I warned them. Robert has two sons and Renly has an older brother. How could he possibly have any claim to that ugly iron chair? We should have stayed well out of all this if you ask me. But once the cow's been milked, there's no squirting the cream back up her udders. So here we are to see things through.

Olenna Tyrell: Here, Sansa, come sit with me. I'm much less boring than these others. Do you know my son? The Lord of Highgarden?

Sansa Stark: I haven't had the pleasure.

Olenna Tyrell: No great pleasure, believe me. A ponderous oaf. His father was an oaf as well. My husband, the late Lord Luthor. He managed to ride off a cliff whilst hawking. They say he was looking up at the sky and paying no mind to where his horse was taking him. And now my son is doing the same, only this time he's riding a lion instead of a horse. Now... I want you to tell me the truth about this royal boy, this Joffrey.

Sansa Stark: I... I...

Olenna Tyrell: You, you. Who else would know better? We've heard some troubling tales. Is there any truth to them? Has this boy mistreated you? [Sansa remains silent] Has he ripped out your tongue?

Sansa Stark: Joff- King Joffrey, he- His Grace is very fair and handsome and as brave as a lion.

Olenna Tyrell: Yes, all Lannisters are lions. And when a Tyrell farts, it smells like a rose. But how kind is he? How clever? Has he a good heart, a gentle hand?

Margaery Tyrell: I'm to be his wife. I only want to know what that means.

Olenna Tyrell: [to a servant] Bring me some cheese.

Servant: The cheese will be served after the cakes, my lady.

Olenna Tyrell: The cheese will be served when I want it served. And I want it served now. [to Sansa] Are you frightened, child? No need for that. We're only women here. Tell us the truth. No harm will come to you.

Sansa Stark: My father always told the truth.

Olenna Tyrell: Yes, he had that reputation. And they named him traitor and took his head.

Sansa Stark: Joffrey. Joffrey did that. He promised he would be merciful and he cut my father's head off. And he said that was mercy. Then he took me up on the walls and made me look at it.

Margaery Tyrell: Go on.

Sansa Stark: I- I can't. I never meant- my father was a traitor. My brother as well. I have traitor's blood. Please don't make me say anymore.

Margaery Tyrell: She's terrified, Grandmother. Just look at her.

Olenna Tyrell: Speak freely, child. We would never betray your confidence, I swear it.

Sansa Stark: He's a monster.

Olenna Tyrell: Ah. That's a pity.

Sansa Stark: Please, don't stop the wedding.

Olenna Tyrell: Have no fear. The Lord Oaf of Highgarden is determined that Margaery shall be queen. Even so, we thank you for the truth. Ah, here comes my cheese.

Queen Talisa: [observing the prayer wheel Catelyn is making] May I help you, Lady Stark?

Catelyn Stark: [sharply] No.

Queen Talisa: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-

Catelyn Stark: You can't help because a mother makes one for her children to protect them. Only a mother can make them.

Queen Talisa: You've made them before?

Catelyn Stark: Twice.

Queen Talisa: Did they work?

Catelyn Stark: After a fashion. I prayed for my son Bran to survive his fall. Many years before that, one of the boys came down with the pox. Maester Luwin said if he made it through the night, he'd live. But it would be a very long night. So I sat with him all through the darkness, listened to his ragged little breaths, his coughing, his whimpering.

Queen Talisa: Which boy?

Catelyn Stark: Jon Snow. When my husband brought that baby home from the war, I couldn't bear to look at him, didn't want to see those brown stranger's eyes staring at me. So I prayed to the gods "Take him away, make him die". He got the pox and I knew I was the worst woman who ever lived. A murderer. I'd condemned this poor, innocent child to a horrible death all because I was jealous of his mother, a woman he didn't even know! So I prayed to all Seven Gods "Let the boy live. Let him live and I'll love him. I'll be a mother to him. I'll beg my husband to give him a true name, to call him Stark and be done with it, to make him one of us".

Queen Talisa: And he lived?

Catelyn Stark: And he lived. And I couldn't keep my promise. And everything that's happened since then, all this horror that's come to my family...it's all because I couldn't love a motherless child.

Mance Rayder: Was it hard for you to kill the Halfhand?

Jon Snow: ...Yes.

Mance Rayder: You liked him? (Jon nods) I like you- but if you're playin' us false, it won't be hard for me to kill you. I've got Wildling blood in my veins- these are my people.

Jon Snow: I understand-

Mance Rayder: Well, how could you understand?

Jon Snow: You want to protect your people.

Mance Rayder:...D'you know what it takes to unite ninety clans, half of whom want to massacre the other half for one insult or another? They speak seven different languages in my army. The Thenns hate the Hornfoots, the Hornfoots hate the Ice-River Clans, everyone hates the Cave People. So- d'you know how I got moon-worshippers and cannibals and giants to march together in the same army?

Jon Snow: No.

Mance Rayder: I told them we were all going to die if we didn't get south. Because that's the truth.

Osha: Isn't he ashamed, your brother, needing you to protect him?

Meera Reed: Where's the shame in that?

Osha: Any boy his age who needs his sister to protect him is gonna find himself needing lots of protecting.

Meera Reed: Some people will always need help. That doesn't mean they're not worth helping.

Walk of Punishment [3.03][edit]

Edmure Tully: If I may, nephew, I encountered a situation with one of my lieutenants at the Stone Mill which may have some bearing-

Brynden Tully: Why don't you shut your mouth about that damned mill? And don't call him "nephew." He is your king.

Edmure Tully: Robb knows I meant him no disr-

Brynden Tully: You're lucky I'm not your king. I wouldn't let you wave your blunders around like a victory flag.

Edmure Tully: My blunder sent Tywin's mad dog scurrying back to Casterly Rock with his tail between his legs. I think King Robb understands we're not gonna win this war if he's the only one winning any battles. No, there's glory enough to go around.

Robb Stark: It's not about glory. Your instructions were to wait for him to come to you.

Edmure Tully: I seized an opportunity.

Robb Stark: What value was the mill?

Edmure Tully: The Mountain was garrisoned across the river from it.

Robb Stark: Is he there now?

Edmure Tully: Of course not. We took the fight to him. He could not withstand us.

Robb Stark: I wanted to draw the Mountain into the west, into our country where we could surround him and kill him. I wanted him to chase us, which he would have done because he is a mad dog without a strategic thought in his head. I could have that head on a spike by now. Instead, I have a mill.

Edmure Tully: We took hostages. Willem Lannister. Martyn Lannister.

Robb Stark: Willem and Martyn Lannister are 14 years old.

Brynden Tully:'Martyn is 15, I believe.

Robb Stark: Tywin Lannister has my sisters. Have I sued for peace?

Edmure Tully: No.

Robb Stark: Do you think he'll sue for peace because we have his... [pauses as he does the maths] Father's brother's great-grandsons?

Edmure Tully: No.

Robb Stark: How many men did you lose?

Edmure Tully: 208. But for every man we lost, the Lannisters-

Robb Stark: We need our men more than Tywin needs his!

Edmure Tully: I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Robb Stark: You would have. Right here today at this gathering if you had been patient.

Brynden Tully: We seem to be running short of patience here.

Robb Stark: You know who isn't? Tywin Lannister.

[At a Small Council meeting]

Tywin Lannister: What news of Jaime? [All the others remain silent] Twenty thousand unwashed Northerners have known about his escape for weeks. Collectively, you control more spies and informants than the rest of the world combined. Do you mean to tell me that none of you has any notion where he is?

Varys: We are trying, my lord-

Tywin Lannister: Try harder! What do we have then?

Varys: Robb Stark and most of his bannermen are in Riverrun for the funeral of his grandfather, Lord Hoster Tully. In Stark's absence, Roose Bolton holds Harrenhal...[Varys smirks at Littlefinger] which would make him Lord of Harrenhal, in practice if not in name-

Tywin Lannister: Let him have it; the name suits our purposes far more than that useless pile of rubble. The Lord of Harrenhal will make a worthy suitor for the widow Arryn.

Littlefinger: For which I am extremely grateful to you, my lord. Lady Arryn and I have known each other since we were children; she has always been...positively predisposed towards me.

Grand Maester Pycelle: A successful courtship would make Lord Baelish Acting Lord of the Vale.

Littlefinger: Titles do seem to breed titles.

Tywin Lannister: You'll leave for the Eyrie as soon as possible and bring Lysa Arryn into the fold, then the Young Wolf can add his own aunt to the list of people who've taken up arms against him!

Tyrion Lannister: Far be it from me to hinder true love, but Lord Baelish's absence would present certain problems. The royal wedding may end up being the most expensive event in living memory. Summer had ended, hard days lie ahead, not a good time to leave the crown's finances unattended.

Tywin Lannister: Fully agreed, which is why I am naming you Master of Coin. [Cersei sniggers]

Tyrion Lannister: Master of Coin?!

Tywin Lannister: It would appear to be a position that best suits your...talents.

Tyrion Lannister: I'm quite good at spending money, but a lifetime of outrageous wealth hasn't taught me about managing it!

Cersei Lannister: [sarcastic] I have no doubt you will prove equal to this challenge.

Grand Maester Pycelle: [also sarcastic] Hear, hear!

Tyrion Lannister: A surprising place to keep the Royal Ledgers.

Petyr Baelish: I'm surprised you're surprised. This is the safest place in the city.

Tyrion Lannister: Not for bastards (Baelish glares at him momentarily)

Ros: That's all of them, m'Lord. (passes the ledgers to Podrick, smiling at him flirtatiously)

Tyrion Lannister: Thank you, my dear. Pod- (notices Podrick is staring at Ros' bosom) Pod. (Podrick turns to him) Take them outside. I'll be there in a moment.

Podrick Payne: Yes, m'Lord. (he leaves; Ros follows, smiling back at Tyrion and Petyr, who both watch her go)

Petyr Baelish: I hear you owe that boy a... significant debt.

Tyrion Lannister: Only my life- not all that significant, I'm afraid.

Petyrn Baelish: You should have him knighted.

Tyrion Lannister: (sarcastically) Ohh, if only the Master of Coin had such power!

Petyr Baelish: If only. (pause) I owe you a significant debt. Our redheaded friend (gestures in the general direction of Ros' departure)... you secured her release when the Queen detained her.

Tyrion Lannister: Oh- that. Of course. A simple misunderstanding.

Petyr Baelish: (smiles dangerously) Apparently, Her Grace believed the two of you had some sort of...special relationship.

Tyrion Lannister: We don't. (pause) I did fuck her, once.

Petyr Baelish: I know.

Tyrion Lannister: (confused) But- we dont.

Petyr Baelish: (chuckles) I know- but how would the Queen get that idea?

Tyrion Lannister: (smirks) Why don't you ask her? (he heads towards the door, followed by Baelish) Any advice for me, on my new position?

Petyr Baelish:...Keep a low profile?

Tyrion Lannister: If I had a golden dragon for every time I've heard that stupid joke, I'd be richer than you are.

Petyr Baelish: Well, you are richer than I am.

Tyrion Lannister:(nods) Good point.

Petyr Baelish: They're only numbers- numbers on paper. Once you understand them, it's easy to make them behave. Trivial, even. You want a real challenge? (pulls the door open a crack, letting in the sounds of prostitutes giggling.) Try whores.

Tyrion Lannister: (smiles) I've tried quite a few. Well, lots of work to do. (cryptically) Enjoy the Eyrie.

[Melisandre is preparing to depart Dragonstone]

Stannis Baratheon: You refuse to tell me where you're going?

Melisandre: I don't know yet. The fires will show me.

Stannis Baratheon: How long will you be gone?

Melisandre: [exasperated] I don't know! [Stannis grabs her]

Stannis Baratheon: You're abandoning me!

Melisandre: I will never abandon you. You are the Son of Fire; I am sworn to serve you!

Stannis Baratheon: Then serve me now.

Melisandre: When I return you will understand.

Stannis Baratheon: My enemies think they've destroyed me. They're laughing at me, the way Renly laughed at me. I want Joffrey dead. I want Robb Stark dead. Make me another 'son'.

Melisandre: I cannot.

Stannis Baratheon: Why?!

Melisandre: You don't have the strength. It would kill you.

Stannis Baratheon: I'm not so easily killed; men have been trying for years. I want you.

Melisandre: Your fires burn low, my king. [Stannis turns to leave] There is another way, a better way.

Stannis Baratheon: You told me your magic requires a king's blood.

Melisandre: Yes.

Stannis Baratheon: I am the one true king!

Melisandre: You are. But there are others with your blood in their veins. You will sit on the Iron Throne, but first there must be sacrifices. The Lord of Light demands it.

Catelyn Stark: (staring out the window of Riverrun) A person could almost be forgiven, for forgetting we're at war.

Brynden Tully: ...It often comforts me to remember, that even in war's darkest days, in most places in the world there's nothing going on.

Catelyn Stark: (glances at him, smiles) I've missed you, Uncle. Father missed you, too- from the day you left- maybe he never said it in so many words-

Brynden Tully: Maybe? Your father was a stubborn old ox. I was surprised when he died- didn't think death had the patience.

Catelyn Stark:...I'm glad you were with him. I wish to the Gods that I had been. (pause) Did you make peace, in the end?

Brynden Tully: (awkwardly) After thirty years of fighting, I... I think he'd forgotten what started it! He asked me to stop calling myself "Blackfish". Said it was an old joke, and it was never funny to begin with. (chuckles) I told him, "People have been calling me 'Blackfish' for so long, I don't remember my real name!"

Catelyn Stark: (smiles, looks out the window) Every time he left for the Capitol, or to fight in a campaign, I'd see him off. "Wait for me, Little Cat" he'd say, "Wait for me- and I'll come back to you." (starts to tear up) And I would sit at this window every day when the sun came up, waiting. (starts to cry) I wonder- how many times did Bran and Rickon stare across the moors of Winterfell, waiting for me to return?! (sobbing) I will never see them again! (Brynden sits across from her and hugs her)

Brynden Tully: You musn't think it. We don't know it- they could be in hiding- (Catelyn gives him a look, and he stops) Robb believes they're alive. And, he must go on believing. (looks her in the eye) He's got to remain strong if he's going to prevail, and you must remain strong for him. (Catelyn pulls herself together)

[In Astapor]

Barristan Selmy: Leave this place, Your Grace. Leave tonight, I beg you.

Jorah Mormont: And what is she to do for soldiers?

Barristan Selmy: We can find sellswords in Pentos and Myr.

Jorah Mormont: Is it we already, Ser Barristan? If you want to sit on the throne your ancestors built, you must win it. That will mean blood on your hands before the thing is done.

Daenerys Targaryen: The blood of my enemies, not the blood of innocents.

Jorah Mormont: How many wars have you fought in, Ser Baristan?

Barristan Selmy: Three.

Jorah Mormont: Have you ever seen a war in which innocents didn't die by the thousands? [Barristan remains silent, but shakes his head] I was in King's Landing after the sack, Khaleesi. You know what I saw? Butchery. Babies, children, old men, more women raped than you can count. There's a beast in every man, and it stirs when you put a sword in his hand...but the Unsullied are not men. They do not rape, they do not put cities to the sword unless they're ordered to do so. If you buy them, the only men they'll kill are those you want dead. [Barristan scoffs]

Daenerys Targaryen: You disagree, Ser Barristan?

Barristan Selmy: When your brother Rhaegar led his army into battle at the Trident, men died for him because they believed in him, because they loved him, not because they'd been bought at a slaver's auction. I fought beside the last dragon on that day, your Grace. I bled beside him.

Jorah Mormont: Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly...and Rhaegar died.

Daenerys Targaryen: Did you know him well, Ser Barristan?

Barristan Selmy: I did, your Grace. The finest man I ever met.

Daenerys Targaryen: I wish I had known him...but he was not the last dragon.

Missandei: (translating for Kraznys Mo Nakloz) All? Did this one's ears mishear Your Grace?

Daenerys Targaryen: They did not. I want to buy them all.

Missandei: (to Kraznys and the other Masters, in Valyrian) She wants to buy them all.

Kraznys Mo Nakloz: (scoffs, in Valyrian) She can't afford them. The slut thinks she can flash her tits and make us give her whatever she wants.

Missandei: There are eight thousand Unsullied in Astapor. Is this what you mean by "all"?

Daenerys Targaryen: Yes. Eight thousand- and the ones still in training, as well. (Missandei translates for Kraznys)

Greizhen mo Ullhor:(to Kraznys, in Valyrian) If they fall on the battlefield, they will shame Astapor!

Missandei: Master Greizhen says, they cannot sell half-trained boys. If they fail upon the battlefield, they will bring shame upon all of Astapor.

Daenerys Targaryen: I will have them all, or take none. Many will fall in battle; I'll need the boys to pick up the swords they drop. (Missandei translates to Kraznys)

Kraznys Mo Nakloz: (in Valyrian) The slut cannot pay for all of this. Her ship will buy her 100 Unsullied, no more- and this, because I like the curve of her ass. (snickers with the other Masters) What is left will buy her 10. I will give her 20 if she stops her ignorant whimpering. Her Dothraki smell of shit- but may be useful as pig feed. I will give her 3 for these. So, ask this beggar Queen, how she will pay for the remaining 7,877?

Missandei: Master Kraznys says you cannot afford this. Your ship will buy you one hundred Unsullied... because Master Kraznys is generous. The gold you have with you will is worth ten...but Good Master Kraznys will give you twenty. The Dothraki you have with you...The Dothraki you have are not worth what they cost to feed...but Master Kraznys will give you three Unsullied for all of them. Master Kraznys asks how you propose to pay for the remaining... seven thousand, eight hundred and seventy-seven Unsullied?

Daenerys Targaryen:...I have dragons. (Ser Barristan and Ser Jorah both look shocked) I'll give you one. (Missandei translates to Kraznys, who immediately looks interested; he goes into a discussion with the other slave Masters)

Barristan Selmy: (steps forward) You will win the Throne with dragons, not slaves, Your Grace!

Jorah Mormont:(steps forward) Khaleesi, please- (he sees the look on her face and backs off)

Kraznys Mo Nakloz:(finishes his discussion and turns to Daenerys as she steps forward) Three dragons-

Daenerys Targaryen: One.

Kraznys Mo Nakloz: Two-

Daenerys Targaryen: One. (Kraznys stares at her, then goes into discussion with his fellow slave-masters; finally, he replies in Valyrian)

Missandei: They want the biggest one.

Daenerys Targaryen: Done.

Kraznys Mo Nakloz: Done!

Daenerys Targaryen: (glances at Missandei)...I'll take you, as well- now. You'll be Master Kraznys' gift to me- a token of a bargain well-struck.

Missandei: (to Kraznys in Valyrian)...She asks that you give me to her, as a present. She asks that you do this now. (Kraznys locks eyes with Dany)

Jorah Mormont: Khaleesi, a dragon is worth more than any army!

Barristan Selmy: Aegon Targaryen proved that!

Daenerys Targaryen: (turns to face them, irritated) You're both here to advise me. I value your advice, but if you ever question me in front of strangers again, you'll be advising someone else. Is that understood? (she walks on with Missandei) Do you have a name?

Missandei: This one's name is Missandei, Your Grace.

Daenerys Targaryen: Do you have a family- a mother and a father you'd return to, if you had the choice?

Missandei: No, Your Grace- no family living.

Daenerys Targaryen: You belong to me, now- it is your duty to tell me the truth.

Missandei:...Yes, Your Grace. Lying is a great offense- many of those on the Walk of Punishment were taken there for less.

Daenerys Targaryen: I offered water to one of the slaves dying on the Walk of Punishment. Do you know what he said to me? "Let me die."

Missandei:...There are no Masters in the grave, Your Grace.

Daenerys Targaryen: Is it true what Master Kraznys told me about the Unsullied? About their obedience?

Missandei: All questions have been taken from them. They obey- that is all. Once they are yours, they are yours. They will fall on their swords, if you command it.

Daenerys Targaryen:...And what about you. You know that I'm taking you to war. You may go hungry, you may fall sick... you may be killed.

Missandei:... Valar Morghulis.

Daenerys Targaryen:...Yes. "All men must die"... but we are not men. (Missandei smiles)

[Tyrion is going through Littlefinger's books of commerce]

Tyrion Lannister: For years, I've heard Littlefinger is a magician. Whenever the Crown needs money, he rubs his hands together and poof! Mountains of gold.

Bronn: Let me guess; he's not a magician?

Tyrion Lannister: No.

Bronn: He's stealing it?

Tyrion Lannister: Worse; he's borrowing it.

Bronn: What's wrong with that?

Tyrion Lannister: We can't afford to pay it back, that's what wrong with it! The crown owes millions to my father.

Bronn: Seeing as it's his grandson's arse on the throne, I imagine he'll forgive that.

Tyrion Lannister: Forgive a debt? My father? For a man of the world, you're strangely naive.

Bronn: I've never borrowed money before. I'm not clear on the rules.

Tyrion Lannister: Well...the basic principle is 'I lend you money, and after an agreed upon period of time, you return it...with interest'.

Bronn: And what if I don't?

Tyrion Lannister: Well, you have to.

Bronn:(sits down across from Tyrion) But what if I don't?

Tyrion Lannister: (rolls his eyes) ...This is why I don't lend you money. Anyway, it's not my father I'm worried about. It's the Iron Bank of Braavos. We owe them tens of millions. If we fail to repay these loans, the Bank will fund our enemies. One way or another, they always get their gold back. (Pod enters, having been given three prostitutes by Tyrion as a reward for saving him at the Blackwater) Ah- the return of the conquering hero! Does he have a little jaunt in his step?

Bronn: The lad's practically skipping. (Pod smiles bashfully)

Tyrion Lannister: (smiling) You've been gone a long time, Podrick. I trust you got your money's worth? Or, should I say, my money's worth? (Podrick sets a pouch of gold on the table- the money Tyrion gave him for the prostitutes) Oh, it was a gift, Podrick! This is more than I give you in a year!

Bronn: He's your squire- you don't pay him.

Tyrion Lannister: Oh- then it's much more than I give you in a year!

Podrick Payne:...They wouldn't take it, m'Lord. (Tyrion looks very confused)

Bronn: (shrugs at Tyrion) Maybe they're trying to curry some favor with the new Master of Coin-

Tyrion Lannister: Have you ever known a whore to turn down gold? (Bronn opens his mouth, then shuts it, thinking) They were happy enough to take it when I gave it to them.

Bronn: (looks up at Pod)...What did you tell 'em?

Podrick Payne:...I didn't tell them anything.

Tyrion Lannister: What did you do to them?!

Podrick Payne: (shrugs)...Lots of things.

Tyrion Lannister: And... they seemed to like these things?

Podrick Payne: (nods vigorously) Yes, m'Lord.

Bronn: Of course they seemed to like it- they're paid to seem to like it-

Tyrion Lannister: (jingles the full bag of gold) Only they weren't paid.

Bronn:..What're you saying? These ladies enjoyed him so much, they gave him the time for free? (stares incredulously up at Pod)

Tyrion Lannister: (looks up at Pod) Is that what you're telling us? (Pod shrugs at them bashfully, smiling; amazed, Tyrion tosses the money bag aside and goes to fetch wine) Sit down, Podrick. (Bronn pushes him into a chair, Tyrion pours them wine) We're going to need details- copious details.

Locke: (holding a knife to Jaime's face) You think you're the smartest man there is. Everyone alive has to bow to lick and scrape your boots.

Jaime: My father-

Locke: You get in any trouble, all you got to do is say "My father" and that's it. All your troubles are gone. (Jaime grumbles) Have you got something to say? (presses the knife to Jaime's eye) You don't want to say the wrong thing. You're nothing without your daddy, and your daddy ain't here. (takes the knife away) Never forget that. (rises) Here, this should help you remember! (bring's the blade down, slicing Jaime's hand off)

And Now His Watch is Ended [3.04][edit]

[Arya, Gendry and the Hound are brought to a secret hideout of the Brotherhood Without Banners]

Gendry:...What is this place?

Thoros of Myr: Somewhere neither wolves nor lions can prowl.(Anguy leads a bound Sandor Clegane into the cave, then pulls his hood off)

Sandor Clegane: (stares around the cave at the outlaws and smirks) You look like a bunch of swineherds.

Anguy: Some of us were swineherds- and some of us tanners, and masons. That was before-

Sandor Clegane: (sneers) You're still swineherds and tanners and masons. You think carrying a crooked spear makes you a soldier?

Beric Dondarrion: No... fighting in a war makes you a soldier. (the outlaws part to reveal him)

Sandor Clegane: (stares at Dondarrion's scarred face and eyepatch)...Beric Dondarrion. you've seen better days-

Beric Dondarrion: (smiles, comes forward) And I won't see them again.

Sandor Clegane: (stares around the cave, shakes his head scornfully) Stark deserters, Baratheon deserters- you lot aren't fighting a war, you're running from it!

Beric Dondarrion: Last I heard, you were King Joffrey's guard dog- but here you are, a thousand miles from home. (pause) Which of us is running?

Sandor Clegane: Untie these ropes, and we'll find out. What're you doing, leading a mob of peasants?

Beric Dondarrion: Ned Stark ordered me to execute your brother, in King Robert's name. (Arya glances at him)

Sandor Clegane: Ned Stark is dead. King Robert is dead. My brother's alive. (spits) You're fighting for ghosts.

Beric Dondarrion: (smiles) That's what we are- ghosts. Waiting for you in the dark. You can't see us- but we see you, no matter whose cloak you wear. Lannister, Stark, Baratheon- you prey on the weak, and the Brotherhood Without Banners will hunt you down.

Sandor Clegane: You found God- is that it?

Beric Dondarrion: (fervently) Aye- I've been reborn in the light of the one true God. (Thoros nods) As have we all. As would any man whose seen the things we've seen.

Sandor Clegane: (disgusted) If you mean to murder me, then bloody well get on with it!

Thoros of Myr: You'll die soon enough, dog- but it won't be murder, only justice.

Anguy: (angrily) And the kind of fate that you deserve! Lions, you call yourselves- at the Mummer's Ford, girls of seven years were raped, and babes still at the breast were cut in two while their mothers watched-

Sandor Clegane: (sneering) I wasn't at the Mummer's Ford! Dump your dead children at some other door!

Thoros of Myr: House Clegane was built on dead children! I saw them lay Prince Aegon and Princess Raenys before the Iron Throne.

Sandor Clegane: (contemptuously) Do you take me for my brother? Is being born Clegane a crime?!

Anguy: Murder is a crime-

Sandor Clegane: (furious) I never touched the Targaryen babes! I never saw them- never smelled them, never heard them bawling! (Dondarrion watches him) You want to cut my throat- GET ON WITH IT! But don't call me murderer, and pretend that you're not!

Arya Stark: (angrily) You murdered Mycah, the butcher's boy. (everyone turns to look at her) My friend. He was twelve years old. He was unarmed. And you rode him down. You slung him over your horse like he was some deer. (Dondarrion steps towards her)

Sandor Clegane: Aye, he was a bleeder.

Beric Dondarrion: (turns to look at him)...You don't deny killing this boy?

Sandor Clegane: I was Joffrey's sworn shield. The boy attacked the Prince-

Arya Stark: That's a lie! I hit Joffrey! Mycah just ran away!

Sandor Clegane: Then I should have killed you! Not my place to question Princes!

Beric Dondarrion: (looks back and forth between the Hound and Arya)...You stand accused of murder, but no one hear knows the truth of the charge. So, it is not for us to judge you- only the Lord of Light may do that, now. (pause) I sentence you to trial by combat.

Sandor Clegane: (turns around, looking at each of the outlaws) ...So, who will it be? (looks at Thoros) Should we find out if your fire-god really loves you, priest? (turns to Anguy) Or you, archer- or are you worse with a sword in your hand? (Anguy suddenly looks frightened, Sandor turns around, smirking) Or is the little girl the bravest one here?

Beric Dondarrion: (glances at Arya)...Aye, she might be. But it's me you'll fight.

[Sandor Clegane has just killed Beric Dondarrion in a trial by combat; as Thoros starts praying over Dondarrion's body, Arya grabs a dagger and runs at the prone Clegane)

Gendry: (intercepts Arya and pulls her back) No- Arya, don't!

Arya Stark: NO! LET GO OF ME! LET ME GO!

Sandor Clegane: (laughs mockingly) Looks like Ģod likes me more than your butcher's boy!

Arya Stark: BURN IN HELL!

Beric Dondarrion:...He will. (Arya, Gendry and Clegane look over in shock to see that Dondarrion has been resurrected by Thoros)...But not today.

[Tyrion walks into a room to find Varys unloading a very large crate]:

Varys: Oh- Lord Tyrion! Come in, come in...

Tyrion Lannister: I hoped we might speak... in confidence.

Varys: Oh, always in confidence. (smiles, begins prising loose various parts of the crate lid with a crowbar.)

Tyrion Lannister: About the events of the Blackwater. (Varys continues his work on the crate)... Perhaps this is the wrong time?

Varys: (oddly cheerful) Oh, no, it's a wonderful time!

Tyrion Lannister: I thought one of your little birds might have... knowledge of my sister's intentions to-

Varys: End your life? (pauses, looks at Tyrion, who nods)

Tyrion Lannister:... I didn't inherit Littlefinger's spies along with his position, I'm afraid. Which is why I'm coming to you. I need proof.

Varys: (scoffs, chuckles) Proof? Will there be a trial (continues working on the crate lid)

Tyrion Lannister: I need to know. (Varys looks up at him in exasperation)

Varys: I have no proof... only whispers. (Tyrion sighs in disappointment) Before all this...nastiness, I was going to tell you the story of how I was cut. Do you want to hear it still?

Tyrion: I don't know. Do I?

Varys: (pauses) As a boy, in Myr, I traveled with a troupe of actors through the Free Cities. One day, a man approached my master with an offer too tempting to refuse. I feared the man meant to use me, as I'd heard some men use small boys- but what he wanted was far worse. He gave me a potion that made me powerless to move or speak, yet did nothing to dull my senses. With a hooked blade, he sliced me, root and stem, chanting all the while. He burned my parts on a brazier; the flames burned blue, and I heard a voice... answer his call. (pause, stares at Tyrion with a fearful expression) I still dream of that night. Not of the sorcerer, not of his blade...I dream of the voice. Was it a god? A demon? Some conjurer's trick? I don't know- but the sorcerer called... and a voice answered. (vengefully) And ever since that day, I have hated magic, and all who practice it. (Tyrion nods impatiently) But, you can see why I was eager to aide in your fight against Stannis and his Red Priestess- a symbolic revenge, of sorts. (smiles, continues working on the crate lid)

Tyrion Lannister: Yes- I feel the need for actual revenge. Against the actual person who tried to have me killed, which will require a certain degree of... influence which-

Varys: (gestures at him with the crowbar) You do not possess- at the moment. (Tyrion smiles weakly, Varys sets down the crowbar and walks around the crate) But- influence is largely a matter of... patience, I find. (goes to a mirror and washes his hands) Once I had served the sorcerer's purpose, he threw me out of his house, to die. I resolved to live, to spite him. (Tyrion frowns thoughtfully, Varys washes his face and puts on his jeweled rings) I begged, I sold what parts of my body remained to me- I became an excellent thief. And soon, learned that the contents of a man's letters are more valuable than the contents of his purse. Step by step... One distasteful task after another, I made my way from the slums of Myr... to the Small Council Chamber. (Turns to look at Tyrion) Influence grows, like a weed. I tended mine, patiently,(walks back to the crate) until its' tendrils reached from the Red Keep, all the way across to the far side of the world... where I managed to wrap them around something very special. (pulls the crate lid open; Tyrion looks inside with him to find a ragged old man, bound and gagged)

Tyrion Lannister: (shocked)...The sorcerer. (The old man whimpers through the gag)

Varys: (menacingly) Hello, my old friend... It's been a long time. (to Tyrion) I have no doubt, the revenge you want will be yours in time... if you have the stomach for it. (closes the crate on the sorcerer, who is screaming through the gag)

[Cersei sits in front of her father, who is busy writing a letter to someone and does not look up at her for some time]

Tywin Lannister: ...You wanted to speak to me?

Cersei Lannister: Yes- about Jaime.

Tywin Lannister: What about him?

Cersei Lannister: I wanted to make sure we're doing whatever we can to get him back.

Tywin Lannister:...When Catelyn Stark took Tyrion prisoner, what did I do in response? (dries the ink on the letter and folds it up)

Cersei Lannister: You started a war.

Tywin Lannister: (pours sealing wax on the letter) And, if I started a war for that lecherous little stump, what do you think I am doing for my eldest son, and heir?

Cersei Lannister: Whatever you can.

Tywin Lannister: Whatever I can. (puts a seal on the letter, pushes it aside, and starts working on another letter) You're still here.

Cersei Lannister: (quietly) Yes.

Tywin Lannister: Why?

Cersei Lannister: (resentfully) Did it ever occur to you that I might be the one who deserves your confidence and your trust- not your sons? Not Jaime or Tyrion, but me? Years and years of lectures on family and legacy (laughs mockingly) The same lecture, really- just with tiny, tedious variations. Did it ever occur to you that your daughter might be the only one listening to them, living by them- tht she might have the most to contribute to your legacy that you love so much more than your actual children? (pause as Tywin finishes his letter)

Tywin Lannister: All right. Contribute. (leans back with an expectant look, Cersei's confidence suddenly falters)

Cersei Lannister: The Tyrells are a problem.

Tywin Lannister: (gives her an incredulous look) The Tyrells helped us defeat Stannis Baratheon. The Tyrells helped save your life, and your children's lives.

Cersei Lannister: Margaery has her claws into Joffrey. She knows how to manipulate him-

Tywin Lannister: (stares directly at her) Good. I wish you knew how to manipulate him. (pause) I don't distrust you because you're a woman. I distrust you because you're not as smart as you think you are. You've allowed that boy to ride roughshod over you, and everyone else in this city. (goes back to his letters, Cersei glares at him resentfully)

Cersei Lannister: Perhaps you should try stopping him from doing what he likes.

Tywin Lannister: (pauses, gives her a cold, direct look) I will.

[Daenerys has just sold one of her dragons, Drogon, for an army of 8000 Unsullied]

Daenerys Targaryen: Is it done then? They belong to me?

Missandei: [after translating] It is done. You hold the whip.

Master Kraznys: [attempting to rein Drogon in] The bitch has her army.

[Daenerys turns to face the Unsullied. Kraznys does not notice what happens next, as he is too busy with Drogon]

Daenerys Targaryen: [In Valyrian] Unsullied! Forward march! [they do so] Halt! [They stop]

Master Kraznys: Tell the bitch her beast won't come.

Daenerys Targaryen: [turns to face him, still in Valyrian] A dragon is not a slave.

Master Kraznys: [astonished] You speak Valyrian!?

Daenerys Targaryen: [coldly] I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, of the blood of Old Valyria. Valyrian is my mother tongue. [ Missandei smiles, Dany turns to the Unsullied] Unsullied! Slay the masters, slay the soldiers, slay every man who holds a whip, but harm no child. Strike the chains of every slave you see!

[the Unsullied begin slaughtering the Astapori slavers]

Master Kraznys: (in Valyrian, panicking) I am your master. Kill her! Kill her! Kill her!

Daenerys Targaryen: [with a cold smile] Dracarys.

[Drogon breathes fire, burning Krasnyz to death]

Olenna Tyrell: (to her granddaughters, as she sees Varys approaching) Look, little loves- a spider in the garden! Run along now- grow strong! (chuckles as Varys reaches her and the girls leave)

Varys: (bows and smiles at her) My lady, I wanted to personally welcome you to King's Landing; the city has been made brighter by your presence-

Olenna Tyrell: "The city is made brighter by my presence?" (chuckles) Is that your usual line, Lord Varys? (Varys' smile slips a notch) Are you here to seduce me?

Varys: A little obvious, perhaps-

Olenna Tyrell: Oh, please, seduce away! It's been so long (sighs, glances at Vary's crotch)... though I rather think it's all for naught. What happens when the nonexistent bumps against the decrepit? (Varys follows her gaze and then looks quickly back at her, uncomfortable) A question for the philosophers. (Varys nods) But you've come mincing all this way for something, so?...

Varys: Might I sit?

Olenna Tyrell: No. Come, I've heard you're such a clever man- I'm curious why you sought me out.

Varys: You've taken an interest in Sansa Stark.

Olenna Tyrell: Have I? Because I spoke to her once in this garden, and one of your little spies came running to tell you? (Varys smiles) Why shouldn't I take an interest? She's an interesting girl.

Varys: Is she?

Olenna Tyrell: No, not particularly- but she's had an interesting childhood.

Varys: She has, sadly. (pause, pretends to leave) Well, forgive me for wasting your time, then- I thought we shared certain hopes for her well-being.

Olenna Tyrell: (chuckles) Come, come- you surrender rather easily! (gets up and takes Varys' arm) Walk with me- I know the walls have ears, but apparently the shrubbery does, too. (they walk through the gardens)

Varys: I choose my allies carefully- and my enemies, more carefully still.

Olenna Tyrell: Which one is Sansa Stark?

Varys: Neither. A babe lost in the woods. I admired her father.

Olenna Tyrell: Yes, Ned Stark had many admirers- and how many of them stepped forward when the executioner came for his head?

Varys: I could not help Lord Stark- perhaps I can help his daughter.

Olenna Tyrell: How?

Varys: (looks uneasy) You're not the only one who's taken an interest in her.

Olenna Tyrell: (scoffs) That's hardly surprising- she's a beautiful girl with a famous name.

Varys: Indeed. She'd make a lovely match for the right suitor.

Olenna Tyrell: It almost feels as though you're about to arrive at your point. (they stop walking)

Varys: Littlefinger is not long for the Capitol. A confindant of mine has told me that when he goes, Sansa Stark goes with him.

Olenna Tyrell: And why have you come to me with this matter?

Varys: (pause) Littlefinger was born with no lands, no wealth, no armies. He has acquired the first two- how long before he has the army? (sees her smile) Perhaps you'll laugh, but I know him better than most- and this is the truth: Littlefinger is one of the most dangerous men in Westeros. If Robb Stark falls, Sansa Stark is the key to the North-

Olenna Tyrell: And if Littlefinger marries her, he'll have the key in his pocket.

Varys: Which seems such a shame- why should a man with such a low reputation steal away such a lovely bride?

Olenna Tyrell: (chuckles) You must despise him- you're working so hard to undermine him.

Varys: (thoughtfully) Actually, I rather enjoy him ...but he would see this whole country burn if he could be King of the ashes.

Olenna Tyrell:...You are a clever man, Lord Varys.

Varys: (bows) You are too kind. I believe I have a possible solution.

Olenna Tyrell: One doesn't have to be clever for that- it's all rather obvious, isn't it? (they keep walking)

[Daenerys has just sacked the city of Astapor with Drogon and the eight thousand Unsullied; she climbs onto a white war-horse and rides out among the Unsullied, who are standing to attention. Missandei, Ser Jorah Mormont and Ser Barristan Selmy watch her)

Daenerys Targaryen: (addressing the Unsullied in High Valyrian) Unsullied! You have been slaves, all your life. Today, you are free. Any man who wishes to leave may leave, and no one will harm him- I give you my word. Will you fight for me- as free men?

[Long pause. Then, one of the Unsullied begins stamping his spearpole on the ground; others join him, until all of them are beating their spearpoles in a synchronized thunder, indicating their allegiance to Daenerys...]

[At Craster's Keep, the ranger Bannen has died of the injuries he had sustained at the battle at the Fist of the First Men. His corpse is burnt on a pyre. His sworn brothers hold a funeral for his memory.]

Jeor Mormont: His name was Bannen. He was a good man, good ranger. He came to us from... where did he come from?

Eddison Tollett: Down White Harbor way.

Jeor Mormont: He came to us from White Harbor. Never failed in his duty. Kept his vows best he could. He rode far, fought fiercely. We shall never see his like again.

[Everyone recite the traditional closing line of the eulogy of the Night's Watch: And now his watch is ended.]

Jeor Mormont: And now his watch is ended.

Grenn: Didn't think a broke foot could kill a man.

Rast: It wasn't his foot that killed him. That bastard Craster starved him to death.

Samwell Tarly: Craster's got his daughters to feed.

Rast: You on his side?

Samwell Tarly: We can't just show up and steal all his food. We're brothers of the Night's Watch, not thieves.

Rast: The day we leave, Craster will tap a barrel of our wine and sit down to a feast of ham and potatoes and laugh at us starving in the snow. He's a bloody wildling all he is.

Eddison Tollett: Never knew Bannen could smell so good.

[After the funeral, Lord Commander Mormont is sitting at the main hall and checking a map in his journal, while Craster continues to eat and berate the men of the Night's Watch.]

Craster: You have one son, don't you, Mormont? I had my 99th. You ever meet a man with 99 sons?

[Mormont shakes his head indifferently.]

Craster: And more daughters than I can count.

Jeor Mormont: [dryly] I'm glad for you.

[The other Night Watch's members enter the hall, shivering of the cold weather.]

Craster: Are you now? Me, I'll be glad when you and yours have gone.

Jeor Mormont: As soon as our wounded are strong enough.

Craster: [sneers] Ah. They're as strong as they're gonna get. Them that's dying, why don't you cut their throats and be done with it? Or leave them if you've not the stomach, and I'll sort them myself.

[Craster eats. Mormont looks at him with disgust.]

Karl: Whose throat you gonna cut, old man?

Jeor Mormont: Wait outside.

Karl: It's cold outside and there's nothing to eat.

Craster: My wives gave you bread.

Karl: There's sawdust in the bread.

Craster: You don't like it, you go out there and eat the snow.

Karl: [steps forward threateningly] I'd rather eat what you've got hidden away.

Jeor Mormont: [stands] I told you to wait outside.

Rast: [angrily] He's sitting there, drinking our wine, eating his fill while we die!

[Craster stands up angrily, throwing the food on the floor.]

Craster: I gave you crows enough. I've got to feed my women!

Rast: So you admit you've got a hidden larder, then? How else'd you make it through winter?

Jeor Mormont: [raises his voice] Enough! Out!

[Mormont grabs Rast roughly.]

Craster: [slams his chest] I am a godly man!

Rast: You're a stingy bastard!

Craster: [enraged] Bastard? [Craster takes an axe off the wall.] Out with you, you little thief. [To Karl] And you! [To Eddison Tollett] And you! [Craster looks threateningly at everyone.] Go sleep in the cold on empty bellies. I'll chop the hands off the next man who calls me bastard.

[A long moment of tension. No one moves. At last Craster lowers his axe. Mormont grabs Rast to lead him out the doorway.]

Karl: [to Craster] You are a bastard.

[Craster turns to face Karl.]

Karl: A daughter-fucking, wildling bastard.

[Craster snarls in rage and charges at Karl, waving his axe, but Karl is faster. He draws a dagger and shoves it through Craster's jaw. Craster rasps in agony, blood fills his mouth. Karl lets go of Craster, who falls on the ground, straining to breath. Karl strikes one of Craster's wives.]

Jeor Mormont: The gods will curse us for this! By all the laws...

Karl: There are no laws beyond the Wall!

[Karl grabs the woman he struck and puts his dagger at her throat.]

Karl: Now show us where he hides the food, or you'll get the same as he did!

Jeor Mormont: [draws his sword] Unhand her!

[Karl lets go of the woman and faces Mormont with his dagger]

Jeor Mormont: I shall have your head for this...

[Rast stabs Mormont in the back. Mormont gasps and drops his sword. For a moment the men stare in shock, then Grenn yells in rage and charges at Karl, tackling him. A bloody brawl breaks out between the mutineers and the ones who remain loyal to Mormont. Craster lies on the ground unmoving, dead. Mormont turns around to face Rast, grabs him by the throat, lifts him off his feet, then spins him around and hurls him against the opposite wall. Sam does not take part in the fighting, but instead rushes outside to find Gilly. Mormont nearly manages to choke Rast to death, but then the wound he sustained takes its toll. Blood pours from Mormont's mouth. He lets go of Rast and sinks to the ground. Rast recovers, grabs a knife and stabs Mormont repeatedly in the chest until he is dead. Meanwhile, Sam enters the hut where Gilly is with her baby. Gilly helplessly watches the brawl through a crack in the wall.]

Samwell Tarly: Quickly. Quickly.

Gilly: What's happening? I'm not going out there.

Samwell Tarly: No, we have to go. Now!

[The baby cries. Gilly picks him. They go outside.]

Gilly: Follow me. I know the best way. Come on.

[As the brawl continues, Sam and Gilly escape with her baby. No one takes notice of them except Rast. He comes outside and shouts after Sam.]

Rast: Run fast, Piggy, and sleep well! I'll be cutting your throat one of these nights.

Kissed by Fire [3.05][edit]

Robb Stark: It took five of you to murder two unarmed squires?

Rickard Karstark: Not murder, Your Grace. Vengeance.

Robb Stark: Vengeance? Those boys didn't kill your sons. I saw Harrion die on the battlefield and Torrhen-

Rickard Karstark: Was strangled by the Kingslayer. They were his kin.

Robb Stark: [furious] THEY WERE BOYS! Look at them.

Rickard Karstark: Tell your mother to look at them. She killed them as much as I. (Catelyn looks down, ashamed)

Robb Stark: My mother had nothing to do with this. This was your treason.

Rickard Karstark: It's treason to free your enemies. In war, you kill your enemies. Did your father not teach you that, boy?

[Brynden Tully punches Karstark in the face]

Robb Stark: Leave him.

Rickard Karstark: Aye. Leave me to the king. He wants to give me a scolding before he sets me free. That's how he deals with treason. Our King in the North. Or should I call him the King Who Lost the North?

Robb Stark: Escort Lord Karstark to the dungeon. Hang the rest.

Karstark soldier: Mercy, sire! I didn't kill anyone, I only watched for the guards.

Robb Stark: This one was only the watcher. Hang him last so he can watch the others die.

Karstark soldier: Please! Please don't, they made me do it! They made me! They made me...!

(The prisoners are dragged out; Robb sits at his desk. His uncle Edmure Tully, and his wife Talisa approach him)

Edmure Tully: Word of this can't leave Riverrun. They were Tywin Lannister's nephews; the Lannisters pay their debts - they never stop talking about that.

Robb Stark: Would you make me a liar as well as a murderer?

Edmure Tully: It wouldn't be lying. We'll bury them and remain silent until the war is done.

Robb Stark: I'm not fighting for justice if I don't serve justice to murderers in my ranks, no matter how high-born! (Catelyn stands up) He has to die.

Catelyn Stark: The Karstarks are Northmen. They won't forgive the killing of their Lord-

Talisa Maegyr: Your mother's right. If you do this, the Karstarks will abandon you.

Robb Stark: (stares at her) You tended to their wounds, you brought them supper. Now they're dead.

Talisa Maegyr: And more boys will keep dying until this war is over! You need Karstark men to end it!

Catelyn Stark: Spare his life, keep him as a hostage.

Edmure Tully: (nods) A hostage. Tell the Karstarks that as long as they remain loyal, he will not be harmed. (Robb ponders their words)

Rickard Karstark: The blood of the First Men flows in my veins as much as yours, boy. I fought the Mad King for your father. I fought Joffrey for you. We are kin, Stark and Karstark.

Robb Stark: That didn't stop you from betraying me, and it won't save you now.

Rickard Karstark: (sneers) I don't want it to save me. I want it to haunt you to the end of your days!

Robb Stark: Kneel, my Lord. (Lord Karstark kneels across a stone hedgerow) Rickard Karstark, Lord of Karhold, here in sight of Gods and men, I sentence you to die. Would you speak a final word?

Rickard Karstark: Kill me and be cursed! You are no King of mine! (Robb beheads Lord Karstark with a single blow)

[Robb surveys his map, which displays the Stark forces nearly encircled by the Greyjoy and Tyrell/Lannister forces; his wife Talisa enters]

Talisa Maegyr: Come to bed.

Robb Stark: You were right- the Karstarks are gone. (throws aside the Karstark marker angrily) Almost half our forces. Tywin Lannister knows what he needs to do, to make us unravel: nothing. (Talisa approaches him) Only wait.

Talisa Maegyr: Don't let him.

Robb Stark: (smiles ruefully at her) What can I do? Attack King's Landing? There's nothing he'd like better. He'd crush us in a day.

Talisa Maegyr: You could ride North- take your lands back from the Greyjoys. Wait out the winter.

Robb Stark: Winter could last five years. Once my bannermen are home again- sitting by the fire, surrounded by their families, warm and safe- they'll never ride south again. (pause, angrily) When I gathered my Lords together, we had a purpose, a mission. Now, we're like a band of bickering children! (pause)

Talisa Maegyr: Give them a new purpose.

Robb: What?

Talisa Maegyr: I don't know. (squeezes his arm, looks at the map) I don't even know where Winterfell is.

Robb Stark: (smiles) Here. (takes her hand and indicates Winterfell) We are here. (indicates Riverrun) King's Landing is here. (indicates the capitol; as Talisa turns to kiss him he pauses, realizing something)

Talisa Maegyr: What is it?

Robb Stark: (pause) I can't force them to meet us in the field, and I can't attack them where they're strongest- but I can attack them where they're not. (moves his Stark markers towards Casterly Rock) And Casterly Rock can't run away. (removes the one Lannister marker on Casterly Rock, with relish) I'm going to take their home away from them.

Talisa Maegyr: (smiles) Can you do it?

Robb Stark: I need men, to replace the Karstarks who marched home. There is only one person in this Kingdom with that kind of army who hasn't already sided with the Lannisters. (smiles grimly) The man whose daughter I was supposed to marry: Walder Frey.

[Ser Jorah Mormont and Ser Barristan Selmy reminisce about their past battles, as the Unsullied march alongside them)

Jorah Mormont: It was a bitch of a siege. (Referring to the Siege of Pyke in the Greyjoy Rebellion)

Barristan Selmy: Mmm- you were first through the breach at Pyke.

Jorah Mormont: The second. Thoros of Myr went in alone, waving that flaming sword of his-

Barristan Selmy: (chuckles) Thoros of Myr! Bloody madman! Robert knighted you, after the battle.

Jorah Mormont: Proudest moment of my life. One knee in the dust, the King's sword on my shoulder, listening to the words "In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave"... All I could think about was how badly I had to piss. (Ser Barristan laughs) In full plate armor for sixteen hours- never occurred to me 'till the battle was nearly over. I was very nearly the first man knighted to piss on the King's boots!

Barristan Selmy: (chuckles) Robert would have laughed, if you had. He was a good man, a great warrior, and a terrible King. I've worked away my years, fighting for terrible Kings.

Jorah Mormont: You swore an oath.

Barristan Selmy: Yes, and a man of honor keeps his vows, even if he's serving a drunk or a lunatic. Just once in my life, before it's over, I want to know what it's like to serve with pride. To fight for someone I believe in. (nods towards Daenerys, who is dismounting alongside Missandei) Do you believe in her?

Jorah Mormont: (follows Ser Barristan's gaze) With all my heart.

Daenerys Targaryen: These are the ones?

Missandei: Yes, Khaleesi- the officers. (a small formation of Unsullied march forward and halt before Daenerys)

Daenerys Targaryen: (speaking Valyrian) You did not choose this life. But you are free men now, and free men make their own choices. Have you selected a leader from within your ranks? (the Unsullied split their formation to reveal their leader, Grey Worm) Remove your helmet. (he sticks his spear in the ground, removes his helmet, and marches to Daenerys)

Grey Worm: (also speaking Valyrian) This one has the honor.

Daenerys Targaryen: What is your name?

Grey Worm: Grey Worm.

Daenerys Targaryen: (surprised) "Grey Worm"? (turns to Missandei)

Missandei: (in Common Tongue, sadly) All Unsullied boys are given new names when they are cut- Grey Worm, Red Flea, Black Rat- names that remind them what they are. Vermin. (Daenerys stares at Grey Worm and his officers, filled with pity and rage)

Daenerys Targaryen: (to Grey Worm and the officers)...From this day forward, you will choose your own names. You will tell your fellow soldiers to do the same. Throw away your slave name. Choose the name your parents gave you, or any other. A name that gives you pride.

Grey Worm: ..."Grey Worm" gives me pride. It is a lucky name. The name this one was born with was cursed. That was the name he had when he was taken as a slave. But, "Grey Worm" is the name this one had, the day Daenerys Stormborn set him free. (Daenerys stares at him, moved by his loyalty)

Jorah Mormont: King Robert wanted her dead.

Barristan Selmy: Of course he wanted her dead. She's a Targaryen- the last Targaryen.

Jorah Mormont: (glances carefully at Ser Barristan, trying to gauge how much he knew about Jorah's previous spying) I suppose no one on the Small Council could speak sense to him?

Barristan Selmy: I didn't sit on the Small Council.

Jorah Mormont: No? Doesn't the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard traditionally-

Barristan Selmy: (dryly) Traditionally, yes- but I killed a dozen of Robert's friends, during his rebellion. He didn't want advice on how to govern from a man who'd fought for the Mad King. (they remount and ride on) Can't say I minded, much- I always hated the policies.

Jorah Mormont: I imagine I would, too- always spent jabbering about backstabbings and betrayals the world over?

Barristan Selmy: Mm-hm. (Jorah glances away, content Ser Barristan doesn't know about his past)

Jorah Mormont: Still, she'll have to wade through that muck, if she wants to rule the Seven Kingdoms.

Barristan Selmy: She'll have good men around her to advise her- men with experience. (Jorah looks at him sharply)

Jorah Mormont: Which men did you have in mind?

Barristan Selmy: Well, forgive me, Ser Jorah, for what I'm about to say, but... your reputation in Westeros has suffered over the years.

Jorah Mormont: (nods, conceding the point) It's suffered for a reason- I sold men into slavery.

Barristan Selmy: I don't know if your presence by her side will help our cause, when we go home-

Jorah Mormont: (scoffs) "Our" cause? Forgive me, Ser Barristan, but I was busy defending the Khaleesi against King Robert's assassins while you were still bowing to the man!

Barristan Selmy: (they both stop their horses) We both want her to rule- am I wrong?

Jorah Mormont: You only joined us a few weeks ago. I can't speak for your true intentions.

Barristan Selmy: (impatiently) If we are truly her loyal servants, we will do what needs to be done- no matter the cost, no matter our pride-

Jorah Mormont: You're not Lord Commander here. You're just another exile- and I take my orders from the Queen. (rides past Ser Barristan)

Jaime Lannister: [steps into a bath with Brienne] If I faint, pull me out. I don't intend to be the first Lannister to die in a bathtub.

Brienne of Tarth: Why should I care how you die?

Jaime Lannister: You swore a solemn vow, remember? You're supposed to get me to King's Landing in one piece. [nods to his severed hand] Not going so well, is it? No wonder Renly died with you guarding him- [Brienne rises from the bath in anger] That was unworthy. Forgive me. You protected me better than most-

Brienne of Tarth: Don't you mock me.

Jaime Lannister: I'm apologizing. I'm sick of fighting. Let's call a truce.

Brienne of Tarth: [sinks back into the bath] You need trust to have a truce.

Jaime Lannister: I trust you. [sees Brienne staring] There it is. There's the look. I've seen it for 17 years on face after face. You all despise me. Kingslayer. Oathbreaker. A man without honor. You've heard of wildfire?

Brienne of Tarth: Of course.

Jaime Lannister: The Mad King was obsessed with it. He loved to watch people burn, the way their skin blackened and blistered and melted off their bones. He burned lords he didn't like. He burned Hands who disobeyed him. He burned anyone who was against him. Before long, half the country was against him. Aerys saw traitors everywhere. So he had his pyromancer place caches of wildfire all over the city. beneath the Sept of Baelor and the slums of Flea Bottom. Under houses, stables, taverns. Even beneath the Red Keep itself. Finally, the day of reckoning came. Robert Baratheon marched on the capital after his victory at the Trident. But my father arrived first with the whole Lannister army at his back, promising to defend the city against the rebels. I knew my father better than that. He's never been one to pick the losing side. I told the Mad King as much. I urged him to surrender peacefully. But the king didn't listen to me. He didn't listen to Varys who tried to warn him. But he did listen to Grand Maester Pycelle, that grey, sunken cunt. "You can trust the Lannisters," he said. "The Lannisters have always been true friends of the crown." So we opened the gates and my father sacked the city. Once again, I came to the king, begging him to surrender. He told me to... bring him my father's head. Then he... turned to his pyromancer. "Burn them all," he said. "Burn them in their homes. Burn them in their beds." Tell me, if your precious Renly commanded you to kill your own father and stand by while thousands of men, women, and children burned alive, would you have done it? Would you have kept your oath then? [Brienne stares at him in stunned silence] First, I killed the pyromancer. And then when the king turned to flee, I drove my sword into his back. "Burn them all," he kept saying. "Burn them all." I don't think he expected to die. He- he meant to... burn with the rest of us and rise again, reborn as a dragon to turn his enemies to ash. I slit his throat to make sure that didn't happen. That's where Ned Stark found me.

Brienne of Tarth: If this is true... why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell Lord Stark?

Jaime Lannister: Stark? You think the honorable Ned Stark wanted to hear my side? He judged me guilty the moment he set eyes on me. By what right does the wolf judge the lion? By what right!? [collapses, Brienne supports him]

Brienne of Tarth: Help! Help! The Kingslayer!

Jaime Lannister: Jaime. My name is Jaime.

Tormund Giantsbane: Orrel says there are Crows patrolling on the Wall- tell him what you know. (watches Jon)

Jon Snow: (nods, looks away) There are four to a patrol- two Builders to check for structural damage, two Rangers to watch for enemies.

Orell: How often do these patrols go out?

Jon Snow:...It varies. If I knew where on the Wall we were heading, I could tell you-

Orell: (sneers) You'd like to know that. (Jon glares at him) There are nineteen castles guarding the Wall. How many are manned?

Jon Snow: Three.

Orell: You sure of that? (Jon nods) Which three?

Jon Snow: Castle Black-

Orell: Aye, Castle Black- everyone knows Castle Black. Which others?

Jon Snow:...Eastwatch-by-the-Sea... and the Shadow Tower.

Tormund Giantsbane: How many men remain in Castle Black?

Jon Snow: A thousand-

Orell: Liar. (angrily, Jon drops the firewood he's carrying and steps towards Orell, his hand on Longclaw)

Jon Snow: (sneering) What happens to your eagle after I kill you?! Does he drift away, like a kite with the strings cut- or does he just flop dead to the ground? (Ygritte steps towards them)

Ygritte: (to Orell) He's no Crow.

Orell: Just 'cause you want him inside of you don't make him one of us.

Ygritte: (draws her dagger and holds it against Orell's chest) I'm not afraid of you. (Orell starts advancing on her angrily, but Tormund grabs him and throws him to the ground)

Tormund Giantsbane: (steps towards Jon)...I like you, boy. But, if you lie to me, I'll pull your guts out through your throat.

Jon Snow: ...A thousand men. (he and Tormund stare each other down as Orell gets up)

Tormund Giantsbane: ...We'll find out soon enough.

Tywin Lannister: You're late.

Tyrion Lannister: (glares at Cersei) What's she doing here?

Tywin Lannister: Our business concerns her as well. Sit. (Tyrion sits across from Cersei)

Tyrion Lannister: You'll be pleased to learn that after one conversation with Olenna Tyrell, I've saved the Crown hundreds of thousands on this wedding.

Tywin Lannister: Never mind that now- we have something important to discuss.

:Tyrion Lannister: I'm Master of Coin- saving money is important. (glares at Cersei, who is smiling mischievously at him) Stop that. It's making me uncomfortable.

Tywin Lannister: Your sister has learned that your new friends the Tyrells are plotting to marry Sansa Stark to Sir Loras.

Tyrion Lannister: Very well. She's a lovely girl. Missing some of Loras' favorite bits, but I'm sure they'll make do.

Tywin Lannister: Your jokes are not appreciated.

Tyrion Lannister: It wasn't my best, but-

Tywin Lannister: I bring them into the royal fold and this is how they repay me, by trying to steal the key to the North out from under me.

Tyrion Lannister: Sansa is the key to the North? I seem to remember she has an older brother.

Tywin Lannister: The Karstarks have marched home. The Young Wolf has lost half his army. His days are numbered. Theon Greyjoy murdered both his brothers. That makes Sansa Stark the heir to Winterfell. And I am not about to hand her over to the Tyrells.

Tyrion Lannister: The Tyrell army is helping us to win this war. Do you really think it's wise to refuse them?

Tywin Lannister: There's nothing to refuse. This is a plot. Plots are not public knowledge. And the Tyrells won't carry this one out until after Joffrey's wedding. We need to act first and kill this union in its crib.

Tyrion Lannister: And how do we do that?

Tywin Lannister: We find Sansa Stark a different husband.

Tyrion Lannister: Wonderful.

Cersei Lanniser: [smiling] Yes, it is.

Tyrion Lannister: [after a long silence] You can't mean it.

Tywin Lannister: I can and I do.

Tyrion Lannister: Joffrey has made this poor girl's life miserable since the day he took her father's head. Now she's finally free of him and you give her to me? That's cruel even for you.

Tywin Lannister: Do you intend on mistreating her? The girl's happiness is not my concern, nor should it be yours.

Tyrion Lannister: She's a child!

Cersei Lannister: She's flowered, I assure you. She and I have discussed it at length.

Tywin Lannister: There, you see? You will wed her, bed her, and put a child in her. Surely you're capable of that.

Tyrion Lannister: And if I refuse?

Tywin Lannister: You wanted to be rewarded for your valor in battle. Sansa Stark is a finer reward than you could ever dare hope for. And it is past time you were wed.

Tyrion Lannister: [furious ] I was wed.(Tywin glares at him) Or don't you remember?

Tywin Lannister: (gritting his teeth with rage) Only too well.

Cersei Lannister: You should be thanking the gods for this. This is more than you deserve.

Tywin Lannister: Tyrion will do as he's bid. As will you.

Cersei Lannister: What do you mean?

Tywin Lannister: You'll marry Ser Loras.

Cersee Lannister: I will not.

Tywin Lannister: The boy is heir to Highgarden. Tyrion will secure the North, you will secure the Reach.

Cersei Lannnister: No, I won't do it.

Tywin Lannister: Yes, you will. You're still fertile. You need to marry again and breed.

Cersei Lannister: [furious] I am Queen Regent, not some broodmare!

Tywin Lannister: [shouting] YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER! You will do as I command and you will marry Loras Tyrell and put an end to the disgusting rumors about you once and for all.

Cersei Lannnister: Father, don't make me do it again, please.

Tywin Lannister: Not another word. [rises from his seat] My children. You've disgraced the Lannister name for far too long.

The Climb [3.06][edit]

Roose Bolton: (as Brienne and Jaime dine with him) I see my men have finally found you something appropriate to wear.

Brienne of Tarth: (sarcastically) Yes- most kind of them! (next to her, Jaime is fumbling at cutting his food one-handed) You're a Stark bannerman, Lord Bolton- I'm acting on Lady Stark's orders to return Jaime Lannister to King's Landing.

Roose Bolton: When King Robb left Harrenhall, his mother was his prisoner. If she wasn't his mother, he'd have hanged her for treason. (Brienne takes pity on Jaime and helps him cut his meat; Roose smiles slightly) I should send you back to Robb Stark.

Jaime Lannister: You should- but instead, you're sitting here, watching me fail at dinner. Why might that be?

Roose Bolton: (shrugs) Wars cost money. Many people would pay a great deal for you.

Jaime Lannister: We both know who would pay the most. (pause) He'll make you pay the most, if he found out you'd captured me and sent me back up North for a summary execution.

Roose Bolton: (shrugs, raises an eyebrow) You're right- perhaps, the safest course is to kill you both and burn your bodies. (Brienne grabs a knife, Jaime puts out his hand to stop her)

Jaime Lannister: It would be- if you honestly believe my father would never find out about it.

Roose Bolton: King Robb is keeping your father quite busy- he doesn't have time for anything else.

Jaime Lannister: (smiles coldly)...He'll make time for you.

Roose Bolton:...As soon as you're well enough to travel, I will allow you to go to King's Landing- as restitution for the mistakes my soldiers made. (nods at Jaime's missing hand) And you will swear to tell your father the truth- that I had nothing to do with your maiming.

Jaime Lannister: (nods slowly, picks up a wine-jug and offers to fill Roose's cup)...Shall we drink on it?

Roose Bolton: (covers his cup with his hand) I don't partake.

Jaime Lannister: (shrugs, refills Brienne's cup and his own) You do understand how suspicious that is to ordinary people? Very well. (toasts Brienne) My lady- may our journey continue without further incident.

Roose Bolton: Oh, she won't be going with you. (Brienne looks up at him sharply)

Brienne of Tarth: I am charged with bringing Ser Jaime to-

Roose Bolton: You are charged with abetting treason.

Jaime Lannister: I'm afraid I must insist-

Roose Bolton: You're in no place to insist on anything. (nods at Jaime's injury) I would've hoped you'd learned your lesson about overplaying your...position.

Olenna Tyrell: Impossible

Tywin Lannister: ...Why? (pours wine)

Olenna Tyrell: My grandson is the pride of Highgarden, the most desirable bachelor in the whole Seven Kingdoms! Your daughter-

Tywin Lannister: is rich, the most beautiful woman in the whole Seven Kingdoms- (walks over and hands her a cup of wine)- and the mother of the king. (turns away)

Olenna Tyrell: Old.

Tywin Lannister: (turns around)...Old?

Olenna Tyrell: (smiles mockingly, nods) Old. I'm something of an expert on the subject. (Tywin stares at her, then moves to his desk and sits across from her) Her change will be upon her, before long. I'll spare you the details of what will happen then- you men may have a stomach for bloodshed and slaughter, but this is another matter entirely. (chuckles)

Tywin Lannister: (smiles wryly) Oh, the years punish us as well, I promise you that. (takes a drink) My stomach remains quite strong, however. The only thing that might turn it are details of your grandson's... nocturnal activities. Do you deny them?

Olenna Tyrell: Oh, not at all! A sword-swallower, through and through. (takes a drink)

Tywin Lannister: (curtly) Well, a boy with his affliction should be grateful for the opportunity to marry the most beautiful woman in the Seven Kingdoms, and remove the stain from his name. (takes a drink)

Olenna Tyrell: Did you grow up with boy cousins, Lord Tywin? Sons of your father's bannermen, squires, stableboys?

Tywin Lannister: (confused) Of course...

Olenna Tyrell: And you... never...

Tywin Lannister: (realizes what she's getting at, turns angry) No.

Olenna Tyrell: (grins mischievously) Not once? Not in any way?

Tywin Lannister: (sharply) Never. (takes a drink)

Olenna Tyrell: I congratulate you on your restraint! But, it's a natural enough thing, two boys having a go at each other beneath the sheets.

Tywin Lannister: (contemptuously) Perhaps Highgarden has a high tolerance for unnatural behavior.

Olenna Tyrell: (smiles coldly) I wouldn't say that. True, we don't tie ourselves into knots over a discreet bit of buggery, but... brothers and sisters... where I come from, that stain would be very difficuly to wash out.

Tywin Lannister: (angrily) I will not breathe further life into a malicious lie by discussing it. (stands up, walks to the window to refill his cup)

Olenna Tyrell: Lie or not, you must admit that many people find it quite convincing. Convincing enough to put swords in their hands and send them off to kill Lannisters and Tyrells, thanks to our new affiliation.

Tywin Lannister: I don't care what people believe- and neither do you. (he moves to refill Olenna's cup, but Olenna covers it with her hand)

Olenna Tyrell: (laughs) As an authority on myself, I must disagree!

Tywin Lannister: (moves around the desk) Now, if the rumors about my children were true, then Joffrey is no King at all- and House Tyrell is throwing it's prize flower into the dirt.

Olenna Tyrell: And, if Cersei is too old to give Loras children, we are throwing another "prize flower" into the dirt. It is a chance we simply cannot take!

Tywin Lannister: (smiles coldly) The uncertainty makes you uncomfortable? All right- I'll remove it for you. (goes around the desk, sits down) If you refuse to marry Loras to Cersei, I will name him to the Kingsguard. (Olenna stares at him) And, I'm sure you're familiar with the Kingsguard's vows. He will never marry, he will never have children, the Tyrell name will fade- and Highgarden will go to the children of Joffrey and Margaery.

Olenna Tyrell: (staring at him curiously) You would have your grandson protected by someone who disgusts you?

Tywin Lannister: I would have my grandson protected by a skilled warrior- who takes his vows seriously. (dips his quill in the ink) So- shall I draw up the order- or do you consent to this match?

Olenna Tyrell: (sets her wineglass down, stands up and smiles graciously, conceding defeat) It's a rare enough thing- a man who lives up to his reputation. (plucks the quill from Tywin's fingers and snaps it in half)

Tormund Giantsbane: Used to be that you couldn't find a tree within a mile of the Wall- Crows'd come out every morning, with axes.

Orrell: (to Jon, mockingly) Your flock gets smaller every year. (walks on with Tormund)

Jon Snow: (to Ygritte)...Have you ever climbed it before?

Ygritte: No- but Tormund's done it half a hundred times. (notices Jon staring up at the Wall) You're afraid.

Jon Snow: (smiles) Aren't you?

Ygritte: Aye. Well, it's a long way up, and a long way down, but... I've waited my whole life to see the world from up there. (Jon glances at her and she smiles, pulling out a set of climbing spikes) Here, sit down- brought a pair for you. They're too big for you, but they're good.

Jon Snow: You kill someone for them?

Ygritte: (smiles) Nah. I didn't kill him- but I bet his balls are still bruised. (Jon chuckles and starts tying on the climbing spikes) He wasn't good to me, the way you're good to me- and he didn't do that thing you do with your tongue.

Jon Snow: (glances around hastily) Hey, can we not talk about that here?

Ygritte: "Can we not talk about that here? I'm Jon Snow- I've killed dead men and Qhorin Halfhand, but I'm scared of naked girls!"

Jon Snow: (grins) Did I seem scared the other day?

Ygritte: (laughs) Oh, you were tremblin' like a leaf.

Jon Snow: Only in the beginning. (Ygritte looks at him and smiles)

Ygritte: (nods)...Only in the beginning. (Jon looks away from her) You're a proper lover, Jon Snow. And, don't worry- your secret's safe with me.

Jon Snow: (looks up at her) What secret?

Ygritte: (stares at him) D'you think I'm as dumb as all those girls in silk dresses you knew growing up? (Jon smiles and looks away) You're loyal, and you're brave...You didn't stop being a Crow, the day you walked into Mance Rayder's tent. (Jon pauses, she comes close to him) But I'm your woman now, Jon Snow. (Jon looks at her) You're goin' to be loyal to your woman. (she finishes tying the spikes on his boots) The Night's Watch don't care, if you live or die. Mance Rayder don't care if I live or die. We're just soldiers in their armies, and there's plenty more to carry on if we go down. (pause) But it's you and me that matters- me and you. (pause) Don't ever betray me.

Jon Snow: (turns back to her, squeezes her hand)...I won't.

Ygritte: (jokingly)...Because, I'll cut your pretty cock right off and wear it 'round me neck. ( Tormund comes back over to them and offers Jon an ice-axe, which Jon takes)

Tormund Giantsbane: (puts his hand on Jon's shoulder) Sink your metal deep- and make sure it holds, before taking your next step. (jokingly) And, if you fall, don't scream. (chuckles) You don't want that to be the last thing she remembers, eh?

[Ramsay Snow blows on a trumpet, awakening Theon, who is hanging from a rack]

Ramsay: Sorry. Were you sleeping?

Theon: Wa...

Ramsay: Wa? Wa? Water! You want some water.

[Ramsay grabs a cup of water]

Ramsay: I wish I had some for you.

[Ramsay pours the water on the ground in front of an anguished Theon. Ramsay walks up to him]

Ramsay: So let's play a game. Which body part do you need the least?

Theon: Please...

Ramsay: Please is not a body part.

Theon: I'll tell you everything, please...

Ramsay: But you already told me everything, remember? Your daddy was mean to you. The Starks didn't appreciate you. One good bit, though: the Stark boys, they're still alive. Wouldn't that be a hunt to remember? You failed, but I'm a better hunter than you. Now, how about your little finger? You don't need that for much, do you? No? Good. Let's start with that.

[Ramsay begins loosening the binds on Theon's right hand]

Ramsay: You've been wondering why you're here, haven't you? Where you are, who I am, why I'm doing this to you. So guess. If you guess right, I'll tell you. By the Old Gods and the New, I swear it. You win the game if you can figure out who I am and why I'm torturing you, and I win the game if you beg me to cut off your finger!

Theon: If I win, you'll let me go?

Ramsay: If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention.

Theon: Please...

Ramsay: [pulling out a knife] You say please again and you'll wish you hadn't. You first. Where are we?

Theon: The North.

Ramsay: Too vague.

Theon: Deepwood Motte.

Ramsay: Terrible guess!

[Ramsay jams the knife in Theon's little finger. Theon groans in pain]

Ramsay: Now where?

Theon: Last Hearth.

Ramsay: Do I look like a fucking Umber to you?

[Ramsay moves the blade around]

Theon: Aaaah, the Karhold!

Ramsay: Karhold? How did you know that? Did you see any banners flying when we came in?

Theon: No, it was just a guess.

Ramsay: Very good, Lord Theon. And who am I?

Theon: Torrhen Karstark.

Ramsay: He's dead. Strangled by the Kingslayer.

Ramsay: He was your brother. Your father is Lord Rickard Karstark.

[A defeated Ramsay sits back down]

Theon: You swore to tell me if I-!

Ramsay: You're right.

Theon: Lord Rickard Karstark is Robb Stark's bannerman. I betrayed Robb. That's why you're torturing me.

Ramsay: Yes. You win.

[Theon breathes a sigh of relief. Suddenly, Ramsay springs back to his feet]

Ramsay: Of course you forgot to ask one question. You forgot to ask if I'm a liar!

[Ramsay sticks his knife back into Theon's little finger, causing Theon to scream in agony]

Ramsay: I'm afraid I am.

[Ramsay begins carving Theon's skin on his little finger]

Ramsay: Everything I told you is a lie.

[Ramsay begins to peel off Theon's little finger skin. Theon screams in absolute pain]

Ramsay: This isn't happening to you for a reason. Well, one reason: I enjoy it.

Theon: PLEASE CUT IT OFF, CUT IT OFF, CUT IT OFF, AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Ramsay: I win.

Edmure Tully: (to Robb, on Walder Frey) Why should I let that old ferret choose my bride for me? At the very least, I should be offered the same choice you were- I'm his liege-lord!

Robb Stark: He's a proud man, and we've wounded him-

Edmure Tully: I didn't wound him. (gets up, walks to the window) My answer is no. (Brynden "Blackfish" Tully gets up and approaches him aggressively)

Brynden Tully: Listen to me- and listen very carefully: You are-

Edmure Tully: The laws of Gods and men are very clear: "No man may compel another man to marry."

Brynden Tully: The laws of my fist are about to compel your teeth!

Robb Stark: It's all right- you heard him. If you refuse, our alliance with the Freys is dead.

Edmure Tully: He's wanted me for one of his daughters since I was twelve! (goes over to the table) He's not gonna stop wanting me now! When I say no, he will come back and offer me a daughter of my choosing.

Catelyn Stark: You're willing to risk our freedom and our lives for a chance at a prettier wife?! (Edmure continues to look defiant)

Robb Stark: I have a war to fight! We can't win it without them- we have no time to haggle! (pause) You said you wanted to make ammends for the stone-mill.

Brynden Tully: (mockingly) You recall that heroic engagement?

Edmure Tully: ...I had- something less... permanent in mind-

Robb Stark: I've won every battle. But I'm losing this war. If we don't do this, and do it now, we're lost.

Edmure Tully:...I'll marry her.

Robb Stark: (smiles gratefully) You're paying for my sins, Uncle. It's not fair, all right- I'll remember it.

[Littlefinger is sitting, staring at the Iron Throne]

Varys: A thousand blades. Taken from the hands of Aegon's fallen enemies, forged in the fiery breath of Balerion the Dread.

Littlefinger: There aren't a thousand blades. There aren't even two hundred. I've counted.

Varys: Heh. I'm sure you have. Ugly old thing.

Littlefinger: Yet it has a certain... appeal.

Varys: The Lysa Arryn of chairs. Shame that you had to settle for your second choice.

Littlefinger: Early days, my friend. It is flattering, really, you feeling such dread at the prospect of me getting what I want.

Varys: Thwarting you has never been my primary ambition, I promise you... although who doesn't like to see their friends fail now and then.

Littlefinger: [stepping down from the dais] You're so right. For instance, when I thwarted your plan to give Sansa Stark to the Tyrells... if, I'm going to be honest, I did feel an unmistakeable sense of... enjoyment there. But your confidante, the one who fed you information about my plans, the one you swore to protect, you didn't bring her any enjoyment. And she didn't bring me any enjoyment. She was a bad investment on my part. Luckily, I have a friend who wanted to try something new. Something daring. And he was so grateful to me for providing this fresh experience.

Varys: [angrily] I did what I did for the good of the realm.

Littlefinger: The realm. Do you know what the realm is? It's the thousand blades of Aegon's enemies, a story we agreed to tell each other over and over 'till we forget that it's a lie.

Varys: But what do we have left once we abandon the lie? Chaos. A gaping pit waiting to swallow us all.

Littlefinger: Chaos... isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some, who are given the chance to climb, they refuse. They cling to the realm. Or the gods. Or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.

The Bear and the Maiden Fair [3.07][edit]

Ygritte: How far are we?

Jon Snow: 'Bout a week, I think.

Ygritte: You think? You don't know?

Jon Snow: When we went to Castle Black, we took the Kingsroad.

Ygritte: (scoffs) You and your roads (sits down) Is that how you lot do your fighting? You march down a road, banging drums and waving banners?

Jon Snow: (smiles, sits down) Most of the time, yes.

Ygritte:...How do the men holding the banners fight?

Jon Snow: They don't, really. It's a great honor to carry a house sigil.

Ygritte: (grins) And the drummers? Is that a great honor too?

Jon Snow: Usually, it's the young boys bangin' the drums.

Ygritte: What good are they?

Jon Snow: They help the men march.

Ygritte: How?

Jon Snow: Well, it's- it's the rhythm

Ygritte: (laughing) What, you mean- right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot-(mimics marching) What, you need help remembering that? (pause) When Mance gives the signal and we hit Castle Black, we won't be banging on drums to let 'em know we're coming. (gets up)

Jon Snow: (stands) No. No, you're just gonna light the biggest fire the North has ever seen- to let them know you're coming.

Ygritte:...You know nothing, Jon Snow. (she walks on)

Orrell: She's right- you don't. (walks up behind Jon, who turns towards him angrily)

Jon Snow: (coldly) I know you cut me loose on the Wall.

Orrell: Cut her loose, too. Do you see her sulking about it? That's because she understands the way things are.

Jon Snow: (steps closer, mockingly)...And are you gonna share it with me? The deep wisdom you found inside the head of a bird?

Orrell:...People work together, when it suits 'em. They're loyal when it suits 'em. They love each other when it suits 'em- and they kill each other, when it suits 'em. (pause) She knows that, you don't- which is why you'll never hold onto her. (walks on)

Orrell: Think he loves you, is that it? What'd he tell you- he's gonna make you his Lady and live with you in some castle?

Ygritte: No, he didn't tell me anything. He barely talks-

Orrell: I see you two whispering in the night, gigglin' like a pair of girls-

Ygritte:(scoffs) You're jealous?

Orrell: 'Course I'm jealous. You should be with one of your own.

Ygritte:(scornfully) And you're one of my own? I've never heard a kind word from your mouth-

Orrell: (grabs her shoulder) You would. If you were mine. I'd tell you that you're beautiful... and fierce...and wild. (Ygritte stares at him) I'd be good to you. (pause, Ygritte looks away)...You love him? (pause, Ygritte looks back defiantly and nods) 'Cause he's pretty, is that it? (Ygritte glares at him) You like his pretty hair an' his pretty eyes? You think pretty's gonna make you happy? (Ygritte turns away and he grabs her arm)

Ygritte: (angrily) Don't touch me-

Orrell: You won't love him so much, when you find out what he really is. (releases her and walks on)

Jon Snow: Ygritte... you won't win. (Ygritte stares at him) I know your people are brave- no one denies that.

Ygritte: You know nothing-

Jon Snow: Six times in the last thousand years, a King-beyond-the-Wall has attacked the Kingdoms. Six times they've failed.

Ygritte: And how do you know that?

Jon Snow: Every boy in the North knows it. We grow up learning it- where the battles were fought, the names of the heroes, who died where- Six times you've invaded, and six times you've failed. The seventh will be the same-

Ygritte: Mance is different-

Jon Snow: You don't have the discipline! You don't have the training- your army is no army! You don't know how to fight together!

Ygritte: (sharply) You don't know that-

Jon Snow: (sadly) I do! I know it! If you attack the Wall, you'll die- all of you!

Ygritte: (stares at Jon for a moment, then comes close to him)...All of us. (she pushes Jon against a stone and kisses him passionately) You're mine- and I'm yours. If we die, we die- but first, we'll live.

Jon Snow: Yes... first we'll live.

Missandei: Now comes the noble Razdal mo Eraz of that ancient and honorable house, master of men and speaker to savages, to offer terms of peace. [to Razdal] Noble lord, you are in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons.

Daenerys Targaryen: [to Razdal] You may approach. Sit.

Missandei: Will the noble lord take refreshment? (Razdahl nods and takes an offered cup of wine)

Razdal: Ancient and glorious is Yunkai. Our empire was old before dragons stirred in old Valyria. Many an army has broken against our walls. You shall find no easy conquest here, khaleesi.

Daenerys Targaryen: Good. My Unsullied need practice. I was told to blood them early.

Razdal: [nods] If blood is your desire, blood shall flow. But why? 'Tis true you have committed savageries in Astapor. But the Yunkai are a forgiving and generous people. The Wise Masters of Yunkai have sent a gift for the silver queen. [slaves bring in two chests of gold] There is far more than this awaiting you on the deck of your ship.

Daenerys Targaryen: My ship?

Razdal: Yes, khaleesi. As I said, we are a generous people. You shall have as many ships as you require.

Daenerys Targaryen: And what do you ask in return?

Razdal: All we ask is that you make use of these ships. Sail them back to Westeros where you belong and leave us to conduct our affairs in peace.

Daenerys Targaryen: I have a gift for you as well. Your life.

Razdal: My life?

Daenerys Targaryen: And the lives of your Wise Masters. But I also want something in return. You will release every slave in Yunkai. Every man, woman, and child shall be given as much food, clothing, and property as they can carry as payment for their years of servitude. Reject this gift, and I shall show you no mercy.

Razdal: You are mad. We are not Astapor or Qarth. We are Yunkai and we have powerful friends. Friends who would take great pleasure in destroying you. Those who survive, we shall enslave once more. Perhaps we'll make a slave of you as well. [One of Daenerys' dragons screeches] You swore me safe conduct.

Daenerys Targaryen: I did, but my dragons made no promises. And you threatened their mother.

Razdal: [to his slaves] Take the gold.

[Daenerys' dragons screech and the slaves back away]

Daenerys Targaryen: My gold. You gave it to me, remember? And I shall put it to good use. You'd be wise to do the same with my gift to you. Now get out. [Razdal leaves]

Barristan Selmy: The Yunkish are a proud people. They will not bend.

Daenerys Targaryen: And what happens to things that don't bend?

Melissandre: Haven't you ever wondered where your strength came from? Your talent for fighting?

Gendry: I'm lowborn. As low as can be. My mother was a tavern wench.

Melissandre: Mine was a slave. So was I. Bought and sold, scourged and branded, until the Lord of Light reached down, took me in his hand and raised me up.

Gendry: I was born in Flea Bottom.

Melissandre: Your blood is noble.

Gendry: Are you saying my father, he was some lord or...

Melissandre: There. [nods to the Red Keep] Your father's house.

Gendry: I'm just a bastard.

Melissandre: The bastard of Robert of the House Baratheon, First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men. Why do you think the gold cloaks wanted you? There is power in a king's blood.

Osha: (stares mistrustfully at Jojen, who is talking with Bran as she, Meera and Hodor make camp) What's he goin' on about? And how come he always gets to sit and chat, while we do all the work?

Hodor: (stares at her for a moment)...Hodor. (Osha walks over towards Jojen, Bran and Meera)

Jojen Reed: That's where we are-

Osha: (sharply) What are you tellin' him?

Brandon Stark: It's all right, Osha-

Osha: It's not all right. You think I can't hear you every day? Filling his head with black magic? Talking about visions and three-eyed ravens and worse?

Meera Reed: (rolls her eyes) Leave him alone.

Osha: (glares at her) He can speak for himself. ('looks at Jojen)

Jojen Reed:...I don't fill his head with anything.

Osha: So what d'you talk about?

Jojen Reed: What's happening to him, and...what that means.

Osha: Go on, then. Tell us what it means.

Jojen Reed: It's not like that. I wish that I could tell him all the answers; it would be much easier.

Osha: (points at Bran) I don't want you talking to him anymore- until we get to your brother at Castle Black. (turns away)

Jojen Reed: We're not going to Castle Black-

Osha: (whirls around) What did you say?

Jojen Reed: I told you already- Jon Snow isn't there. Bran needs to find the Raven, beyond the Wall-

Osha: (comes back towards them, furious) Oh, no- I'm not going back there! Your brother is at Castle Black- that's where we're going! (kneels in front of Bran) Look at me. (Bran does)

Brandon Stark:...The raven's been coming to me, ever since I fell from that tower. (Osha sighs) He wants me to find him. I don't have my legs anymore! This is what I have, now.

Osha: (puts her hand on his arm) You have a family. You need to go back to Castle Black, so you can get back to them- where you belong-

Brandon Stark: What if I belong in the North? What if...I fell from that tower for a reason?

Osha: (glares at Jojen) Is that what he's telling you? That it's all for a reason? All these bad things happened, because the Gods got big plans for you? I wish it were true, little Lord, but the Gods wouldn't spare a raven's cold shit for you, or me, or anyone.

Brandon Stark: You don't understand- you don't know-

Osha: (stands up angrily) You don't know! None of you know- none of you have been up there! (her voice begins to break) I had a man, once- a good man. Bruni, his name was. I was his, and he was mine. But one night, Bruni disappears. People said he left me, but I knew him- he'd never leave me. Not for long. I knew he'd come back- and he did. He came in through the back of the hut. (sits down) Only, he wasn't Bruni- not really. His skin was... pale, like a dead man's- his eyes, bluer than clear sky. (the others stare at her) He came at me, grabbed me by the neck, and squeezed so hard I could feel the life slipping out of me. I don't know how I got the knife, but when I did, I stuck it deep into his heart. (pause) And he hardly seemed to notice. I had to burn our hut down, with him inside. (pause) I didn't ask the Gods what it meant. I didn't need to. It meant the North was no place for men to be- not anymore. (stands up) I promised your Maester I'd get you to Castle Black- and no further.

[Tywin enters the Throne Room flanked by four of the Kingsguard, where Joffrey sits on the Iron Throne waiting for him. Halfway across the room, Tywin stops; the Kingsguard leave the room, and Tywin continues towards the dais unescorted]

Tywin Lannister: (stops at the base of the steps leading to the Iron Throne, bows his head slightly) Your Grace.

Joffrey Baratheon: Grandfather.

Tywin Lannister: You wanted to speak to me?

Joffrey Baratheon: Yes! I'd like a report on the meetings of my Small Council.

Tywin Lannister: You're welcome to attend the meetings of your Small Council, Your Grace- any or all of them.

Joffrey Baratheon: (lamely) I've been very busy- many important matters require a King's attention!

Tywin Lannister:...Of course.

Joffrey Baratheon:...You've been holding the Small Council meetings in the Tower of the Hand, instead of the Small Council Chamber.

Tywin Lannister: I have, yes.

Joffrey Baratheon: (impatient)...May I ask why?

Tywin Lannister: The Tower of the Hand is where I work. To walk from there to here would take time- time I could otherwise spend productively-

Joffrey Baratheon: So, if I wanted to attend one of my Small Council meetings, I would now have to climb all the stairs in the Tower of the Hand?! (Tywin's expression grows cold; he climbs the steps of the dais and stands menacingly in front of Joffrey, who fidgets nervously on the Iron Throne.

Tywin Lannister: (contemptuously) ...We could arrange to have you carried. (Joffrey looks away, unable to openly challenge his grandfather)

Joffrey Baratheon:...Tell me about the Targaryen girl in the East, and her dragons.

Tywin Lannister: (surprised) Where did you hear about this?

Joffrey Baratheon: Is it true?

Tywin Lannister: Apparently so.

Joffrey Baratheon: (growing impatient again) Don't you think we ought to do something about it?

Tywin Lannister: When I was Hand of the King under your father's predecessor, the skulls of all the Targaryen dragons were kept in this room- and the skull of the last of them was right here. (gestures next to the throne) It was the size of an apple.

Joffrey Baratheon: And the biggest was the size of a carriage!

Tywin Lannister: Yes- and the creature to whom it belonged died three hundred years ago! Curiosities on the far side of the world are no threat to us-

Joffrey Baratheon: But how do we know these dragons are...curiosities, and not the beasts that brought the whole world to heel?!

Tywin Lannister: Because we have been told as much by the many experts who serve the Realm- by counseling the King, on matters about which he knows nothing.

Joffrey Baratheon: But I haven't been counseled!

Tywin Lannister:...You are being counseled at this very moment.

Joffrey Baratheon: (cowed)...I should be consulted, about such things.

Tywin Lannister: From now on, I will see to it that you are appropriately consulted on important matters..whenever necessary. (starts to walk away, then turns back and bows his head somewhat mockingly) Your Grace. (smiles slightly to himself as he leaves the Throne Room)

Brienne of Tarth: I thought you were gone.

Jaime Lannister: Tomorrow.

Brienne of Tarth: Have they told you what they plan to do with me?

Jaime Lannister: Lord Bolton's traveling tomorrow as well. He's going to the Twins for Edmure Tully's wedding. You're to remain here.

Brienne of Tarth: With Locke?

Jaime Lannister: I owe you a debt.

Brienne of Tarth: When Catelyn Stark released you, we both made a promise to her. Now it's your promise. You gave your word. Keep it and consider the debt paid.

Jaime Lannister: I will return the Stark girls to their mother. I swear it.

Brienne of Tarth: Good-bye, Ser Jaime.

Qyburn:(while treating the stump of Jaime's hand) The only way to understand it is to study the afflicted.

Jaime Lannister: (stares at him) You performed experiments on living men-

Qyburn: On dying men-

Jaime Lannister: Without permission.

Qyburn: My studies have given me insights that have helped me save many lives-

Jaime Lannister: Dying paupers, I assume- men with no families to complain. (angrily) You found them moaning in the poor house, had them carted back to your garret, and opened up their bellies to see what was inside.

Qyburn: (looks at him calmly) How many men have you killed, my Lord? (Jaime is caught off-guard)

Jaime Lannister: (shrugs)...I don't know.

Qyburn: Fifty? (Jaime shakes his head) One hundred? (Jaime shrugs, Qyburn nods knowingly) Countless.

Jaime Lannister:...Countless has a nice ring to it.

Qyburn: (smugly) And how many lives have you saved?

Jaime Lannister:...Half a million. (Qyburn looks up at him, shocked) The population of King's Landing.

Locke: (watching Brienne in a gladiator pit, facing a bear) Well, this is one shameful fucking performance. Stop running and fight! (Jaime appears, followed by Qyburn and a Bolton bodyguard, Steelshanks)

Jaime Lannister: (horrified and furious) A wooden sword?! (Locke glances over at him)

Locke: Thought you'd gone-

Jaime Lannister: You gave her a wooden sword! (shoves past the Bolton bannermen)

Locke: I've only got one bear.

Jaime Lannister: I'll pay her bloody ransom. Gold, sapphires, whatever you want- just get her out of there!

Locke: (sneering) All you Lords and Ladies. You still think that the only thing that matters is gold. (grabs the stump of Jaime's wrist and lifts it in front of him) Well, this makes me happier than all your gold ever could- and that (points at Brienne's predicament) makes me happier than all her sapphires. So- go buy yourself a golden hand, and fuck yourself with it! (turns away)

[In the pit, the bear rears up; Brienne jabs at it with her wooden sword. Irritated, the bear lunges and slashes her shoulder badly, breaking the sword and knocking her down. Suddenly, Jaime climbs the rail and leaps into the pit, trying to draw the bear off her]

Jaime Lannister: Get behind me.

Brienne of Tarth: I will not. (Jaime yanks her behind him anyway. The bear slowly advances on them, growling and scratching the ground aggressively. Suddenly, a crossbow bolt hits it in the shoulder, fired by Steelshanks)

Locke: (furious) The FUCK you doin' to my bear?!

Steelshanks: (reloading his crossbow hastily) Lord Bolton charged me with bringin' him back to King's Landing- alive! An' that's what I intend to do! (Jaime pulls Brienne to the side of the pit while the bear is distracted and in pain)

Jaime Lannister: Pull her up! (two of the Bolton men do so; the bear starts to advance on Jaime, who doesn't take his eyes off it)

Brienne of Tarth: Hold my legs! (the two Bolton men dangle her over the edge as she reaches out to Jaime. As he starts trying to climb one-handed, the bear charges; Jaime's bodyguard fires but misses. Jaime is left dangling just above the bear's open jaws; he finally manages to take Brienne's hand) Pull me back! (the Bolton bannermen pull them both up; other begin to boo at them. Jaime, lying on the rim of the pit, looks up to see Locke glaring down at him)

Locke:...The bitch stays. (Jaime gets up, with difficulty)

Jaime Lannister: I'm taking her to King's Landing- unless you kill me. (Locke clearly wants to do just that; several of his men draw up behind him, aggressively)

Locke: She belongs to me. Lord Bolton's orders-

Jaime Lannister: What do you think is more important to Lord Bolton? Getting his pet rat a reward- or ensuring that Tywin Lannister gets his son back alive? (Brienne stares at Locke in disgust. After a long, tense pause, Locke's men take their hands off their weapons; Locke angrily does the same)...Well, we must be on our way. (starts to go, then pauses and leans towards Locke, mockingly) Sorry about the sapphires. (he and Brienne walk away, followed by Steelshanks and Qyburn)

Second Sons [3.08][edit]

Barristan Selmy: Your Grace, allow me to present the Captains of the Second Sons: Mero of Braavos, Prendahl Na Ghezn, and...

Daario Naharis: (smiles at Dany and bows his head slightly) Daario Naharis.

Mero: (swaggers forward and grins contemptuously at Dany) You're the mother of Dragons? (Dany smiles back) I swear I fucked you, once, in a pleasure house in Lhys-

Jorah Mormont: (angrily) Mind your tongue.

Mero: Why? I didn't mind hers. (sits down on the sofa across from Dany and waggles his tongue at her) She licked my ass like she was born to do it. (grins at her, then gestures to Missandei) You, slave girl- bring wine.

Daenerys Targaryen: (smiles, but coldly) We have no slaves here.

Mero: You'll all be slaves after the battle, unless I save you. (gestures with his chin) Take your clothes off, and come and sit on Mero's lap, and I may give you my Second Sons.

Daenerys Targaryen: Give me your Second Sons, and I may not have you gelded. (Mero scoffs as Missandei pours wine) Ser Barristan, how many men fight for the Second Sons?

Barristan Selmy: Under two thousand, Your Grace.

Daenerys Targaryen: (sarcastically) We have more, don't we?

Barristan Selmy: Ten thousand Unsullied.

Daenerys Targaryen: (still sarcastic) I'm only a young girl, new to the ways of war, but perhaps a seasoned Captain like yourself can explain to me how you propose to defeat us?

Daario Naharis: (smiles) I hope the old man is better with a sword than he is with a lie. (Dany looks at him) You have eight thousand Unsullied. (nods respectfully to her)

Daenerys Targaryen: (sizes Daario up) ...You're very young, to be a Captain.

Prendahl Na Ghezn: (sharply) He isn't a Captain- he's a lieutenant.

Daenerys Targaryen: (looks from Prendahl to Daario, who smiles at her) Even if your numbers are right, you must admit the odds don't favor your side.

Mero: The Second Sons have faced worse odds and won.

Jorah Mormont: (smirks) The Second Sons have faced worse odds and run. (Dany smiles at him)

Daenerys Targaryen: Or, you could fight for me.

Mero: (gestures for Missandei to refill his cup) We've taken the slavers' gold- we fight for Yunkai.

Daenerys Targaryen: I would pay you as much, and more. (Mero sniffs Missandei as she pours wine, Missande jumps back with a look of fear and disgust)

Prendahl Na Ghezn: Our contract is our bond. If we break our bond, no one will hire the Second Sons again.

Daenerys Targaryen: (eagerly) Ride with me, and you'll never need another contract. You'll have gold and castles and lordships of your choosing, when I take back the Seven Kingdoms.

Daario Naharis: You have no ships, you have no siege weapons- you have no cavalry.

Daenerys Targaryen:(looks directly at him) A fortnight ago, I had no army- a year ago, I had no dragons. (Daario smiles, impressed; Dany turns back to Mero) You have two days to decide.

Merot: (frowns for a moment, pretending to take her seriously)...Show me your cunt. I want to see if it's worth fighting for- (Jorah stiffens angrily)

Grey Worm: (harshly, in Valyrian) My Queen, shall I slice out his tongue for you? (reaches for the bronze dagger in his belt)

Daenerys Targaryen: (smiles, replies in Valyrian) These men are our guests. (turns back to Mero) You seem to be enjoying my wine- perhaps you'd like a flagon to help you think it over?

Mero: Only a flagon? And what are my brothers-in-arms to drink?

Daenerys Targaryen: A barrel, then?

Mero: Good! The Titan's Bastard does not drink alone (gets up, smiles mockingly) In the Second Sons, we share everything- maybe after the battle, we'll all share you. (Dany smirks back at him, noticing Daario smiling at her as he leaves. Mero goes up to Missandei) I'll come looking for you after this is over. (slaps her rear end and leaves, Missandei, disgusted, looks up at Dany, whose smile has vanished)

Daenerys Targaryen: (coldly) Ser Barristan- if it comes to battle, kill that one first.

Barristan Selmy: Gladly, Your Grace.

Joffrey Baratheon: Congratulations, my lady.

Sansa Stark: Thank you, your Grace.

Joffrey Baratheon: We've done it. You've married a Lannister! Soon you will have a Lannister baby. It's a dream come true for you, isn't it? What a glorious day!

Sansa Stark: Yes, your grace.

Joffrey Baratheon: I suppose it doesn't really matter which Lannister puts the baby into you.

[Sansa is visibly unnerved]

Joffrey Baratheon: Maybe I'll pay you a visit after my uncle passes out. How'd you like that?

[Sansa doesn't answer.]

Joffrey Baratheon: You wouldn't? Well, that's all right. Ser Meryn and Ser Boris will hold you down.

[Joffrey turns to the crowd and claps his hands.]

Joffrey Baratheon: Time for the bedding ceremony!

Tyrion Lannister: There will be no bedding ceremony.

Joffrey: (leading Sansa by the hand) Where's your respect for tradition, uncle?! Come, everyone! Pick her up, and carry her to her wedding bed! Get rid of her gown, she won't be needing it any longer! (A visibly horrified Sansa crosses her arms as Joffrey points towards Tyrion.) Ladies! Attend to my uncle, he's not heavy!

Tyrion Lannister: There will be no bedding ceremony.

Joffrey Baratheon: (annoyed) There will be if I command it!

[Tyrion angrily slams his dagger into the table, startling Joffrey, and eliciting horrified silence from the wedding-goers]

Tyrion Lannister: (furious) Then you'll be fucking your own bride with a wooden cock!

[Tywin, sensing danger, gets to his feet.]

Joffrey: [Shocked, and seething] What did you say?... What...Did you. SAY!?

[Tyrion glares back at him, both of them shaking with rage.]

Tywin Lannister: I believe we can dispense with the bedding ceremony, Your Grace. I'm sure Tyrion did not mean to threaten the king. (Tyrion visibly swallows his anger and grins)

Tyrion Lannister: (laughs) A bad joke, Your Grace. Made out of envy of your own royal manhood. Mine is so small, my poor wife won't even know I'm there.

Tywin Lannister: Your uncle is clearly quite drunk, Your Grace.

Tyrion Lannister: I am...guilty. (Drinks more wine.) But... (gets out of his chair, clumsily) But, it is my wedding night. My tiny junk cock and I have a job to do. (Tyrion staggers around the table, bumps into it and turns to Sansa.) Come wife. (Sansa hastily moves away from Joffrey and follows Tyrion) I vomited on a girl once. Middle of the act. Not proud of it. But I think honesty is important between a man and wife. Don't you agree? Come, I'll tell you all about it- put you in the mood.

[Tyrion and Sansa leave for their bed-chamber as the crowd looks on, mumbling over what just happened.]

[Tyrion and Sansa enter their wedding bed-chamber, and after an awkward pause Tyrion- already quite drunk- makes for the bottle of wine]

Sansa Stark:...Is that wise, my Lord?

Tyrion Lannister: Tyrion, Sansa- my name is Tyrion. (pours himself a cup)

Sansa Stark:...Is that wise, Tyrion?

Tyrion Lannister: (smiles ironically) Nothing was ever wiser. (staggers over to a sofa, sits upright with difficulty, and looks at Sansa, who is looking around the room nervously) Astoundingly long...

Sansa Stark: What?

Tyrion Lannister:...Neck. You have one. (sips from his cup) How old are you, exactly?

Sansa Stark: Fourteen. (Tyrion stares at her in horror)

Tyrion Lannister:...Well, talk won't make you any older. (pause, he stands up awkwardly) My lord father has commanded me to consummate this marriage.

[Sansa pauses, clearly scared, then pours herself a cup of wine and hastily drinks it; Tyrion gloomily toasts her and drinks as well. She goes over to the bedside and begins removing her wedding dress slowly. Tyrion watches her the entire time, looking increasingly uncomfortable. Sansa finally removes the dress and is about to strip off her nightgown]

Tyrion Lannister: (shakes his head)...Stop. (Sansa turns around, looking at him in surprise and relief) I can't... I could, but I won't. (chuckles ruefully to himself)

Sansa Stark: But, your father-

Tyrion Lannister: (angrily) If my father wants someone to get fucked, I know where he can start. (shakes his head again) I won't share your bed. Not until you want me to.

Sansa Stark:...What if I never want you to?

Tyrion Lannister: (pause, then grins and raises his goblet in a mocking toast) ..."And so my Watch begins." (drains the cup, then staggers back onto the sofa and passes out)

[Davos is in his cell teaching himself to read, with a book given to him by Stannis' daughter Shireen, when he hears Stannis approaching; he puts the book away]

Davos Seaworth: Your Grace! (stands up)

Stannis Baratheon: They feeding you enough?

Davos Seaworth: Two meals a day- cold for breakfast, hot for supper. I cannot complain.

Stannis Baratheon:...You don't belong in a place like this.

Davos Seaworth: Well, sad to say, but I've seen worse. (Stannis grunts and nods, looking around the cells)

Stannis Baratheon:...I'm sorry about your son. I never got the chance to tell you before. Good lad- loyal lad. (Davos nods sadly) Melisandre's returned.

Davos Seaworth: I didn't know she'd been gone.

Stannis Baratheon: Came back with a bastard boy- Robert's bastard boy.

Davos Seaworth: Why?

Stannis Baratheon: She says "power in king's blood."

Davos Seaworth: (stares at him)...She's going to kill him.

Stannis Baratheon: Sacrifice him.

Davos Seaworth: Forgive me, Your Grace, I'm not a learned man, but is there a difference between kill and sacrifice?! The boy's your nephew.

Stannis Baratheon: What of it? We're at war. Why should I spare the son of some tavern slut Robert bedded one drunken night?

Davos Seaworth: Because he has your blood in his veins. (Stannis looks directly at him, visibly uncertain)

Stannis Baratheon:...So did Renly.

Davos Seaworth:...Renly wronged you. Renly declared himself king when the throne belonged to you. He raised an army, stole your bannermen. This boy's done you no harm. He's an innocent-

Stannis Baratheon: How many boys live in Westeros? How many girls? How many men? How many women? "The darkness will devour them all", she says, "the night that never ends." Unless I triumph. (pause) I never asked for this- no more than I asked to be King. We do not choose our destiny, but we must do our duty, no? Great or small, we must do our duty. (pause) What's one bastard boy against a kingdom?

Davos Seaworth:...Your Grace, why did you come to see me, today?

Stannis Baratheon: I came to free you. If you swear to never raise your hand to the Lady Melisandre again.

Davos Seaworth: (nods) ...I swear it. I can't swear never to speak against her-

Stannis Baratheon: (exasperated) You have little regard for your own life. (Davos nods)

Davos Seaworth: Quite little, Your Grace. Verging on none. (Stannis nods ruefully, pause) You could've freed me yesterday, or tomorrow... but you came to me now, before this boy is put to the knife, because... you knew I'd counsel restraint. You came to hear me say it, because you believe it yourself. (Stannis meets his gaze) You're not a man who slaughters innocents, for gain or glory. (pause, leans against the wall) When my son was five, he said to me, "I don't ever want to die." I wanted to say to him, "You won't child- you won't ever." I hated the idea of him lying awake in the dark, afraid. (pause) I think mothers and fathers made up the Gods... because they wanted their children to sleep through the night.

Stannis Baratheon:...I saw a vision in the flames. A great battle in the snow... I saw it. And you saw whatever she gave birth to. (Davos looks up at him sharply) I never believed, but- when you see the truth- when it's right there in front of you, as real as these iron bars... how can you deny her God is real?

Margaery Tyrell: [to Cersei, as they prepare for the wedding] You look radiant, your Grace.

Cersei Lannister: Radiant? Why radiant?

Margaery Tyrell: It's word that came to mind. [Cersei smiles, though falsely, and Margaery takes her arm] We're going to be sisters soon, we should be friends.

Cersei Lannister: You're a musical girl, aren't you? I imagine you have a lovely voice.

Margaery Tyrell: A better dancer, than a singer, I'm afraid.

Cersei Lannister: Ah, but you know the song, the Rains of Castamere?

Margaery Tyrell: Of course. They play it so often here at court.

Cersei Lannister: So you know the story of House Reyne of Castamere?

Margaery Tyrell: Not as well as you, I'm sure.

Cersei Lannister: House Reyne was a powerful family. Very wealthy. Second wealthiest in Westeros. Aren't the Tyrells the second wealthiest family in Westeros now? Of course, ambitious climbers don't want to stop on the second highest rung. If only you could take that final step. You'd see further than all the rest. You'd be alone with nothing but blue sky above you. So Lord Reyne built a castle, as grand as Casterly Rock. He gave his wife diamonds, larger than any my mother ever wore. And finally, one day, he rebelled against my father. Do you know where House Reyne is now?

Margaery Tyrell: Gone?

Cersei Lannister: Gone? [menacingly] A gentle word. Why not say slaughtered? Every man, woman and child, put to the sword. I remember seeing their bodies hanging high above the gates of Casterly Rock. My father let them rot up there all summer. It was a long summer. [Quoting "Rains of Castamere] And now the rains weep o'er their halls, and not a soul to hear." [Takes Margaery's hand, looks into her eyes, and speaks in a cold tone] If you ever call me "sister" again, I'll have you strangled in your sleep.

The Rains of Castamere [3.09][edit]

Osha: Where are we?

Brandon Stark: The Gift, I think. Brandon the Builder gave all this land south of the Wall to the Night's Watch, for their sustenance and support (pause) Maester Luwin taught me that.

Jojen Reed: (glances around) Doesn't seem to be supporting anyone, at the moment.

Meera Reed: It's good land! And there's no war up here. (Bran glances at her) Why leave?

Brandon Stark: Wildlings. (he glances guiltily at Osha) Sorry. But they come over the Wall and raid, steal, carry off women.

Rickon Stark: Old Nan said they turn your skull into a cup and drink your own blood from it. (he glances at Osha, who stares back at him impassively) That's what Old Nan said.

Jojen Reed: (glances at the sky) There's a storm coming.

Brandon Stark: I don't see any- (he's cut off by a distant clap of thunder; Hodor looks terrified)

Meera Reed: (indicates the nearby windmill she was scouting) This place is as good shelter as any. (they start towards the windmill)

Osha: (ruffles Rickon's hair teasingly) We can drink some blood while we wait- I don't need much.

Jorah Mormont: (enters the tent with Grey Worm, both battered and bloodied but unhurt) It was just as you said. They did not believe until it was too late. (grins) Their slave-soldiers threw down their spears and surrendered! (Dany smiles momentarily, then looks worried)

Daenerys Targaryen: And- Daario Naharis? (Jorah looks disconcerted. Suddenly, Daario enters the tent, bearing the torn Yunkish banner)

Daario Naharis: (kneels before Dany) The City is yours, my Queen.

Walder Frey: My honored guests, be welcome within my walls and at my table. I extend to you my hospitality and my protection in the light of the Seven.

Robb Stark: Thank you for your hospitality, my lord. I've come to make my apologies, my lord, and to beg your forgiveness.

Walder Frey: Don't beg my forgiveness, your grace. It wasn't me you spurned, it was my girls.

[Walder summons his daughters and granddaughters as Edmure Tully looks on anxiously to see if any of them turn out to be his intended, Roslin.]

Walder Frey: One of them was supposed to be queen. Now none of them are. This is Arwaya, my daughter, my daughter Walda, my daughter Derwa, my daughter Waldra. My eldest granddaughters Janeya and Neyela. Serra and Sarra, granddaughters, twins. You could have had either. You could have both for all I care. My granddaughter Marianne, my granddaughter Freya, my granddaughter...Wertha? Walra? Waldina?

Merry Frey: I'm Merry.

Walder Frey: Fine. And here's my youngest daughter, Shirei. Though she hasn't bled yet, clearly you don't have the patience for all that.

Robb Stark: My ladies, all men should keep their word. Kings most of all. I was pledged to marry one of you and I broke that vow. The fault is not with you. Any man would be lucky to have any one of you. I did what I did not to slight you but because I loved another. I know these words cannot set right the wrong I've done to you and your house. I beg your forgiveness and pledge to do all I can to make amends so the Freys of the Crossing and the Starks of Winterfell may once again be friends.

[A bemused Walder claps his hands.]

Walder Frey: Very good.

Catelyn Stark: (on her brother, Edmure Tully) He complained about this marriage the entire way from Riverrun- and now, look at him.

Brynden "Blackfish" Tully: The Gods love to reward a fool.

Catelyn Stark: (laughs) Uncle!

Brynden Tully: (grins) What?! He's my nephew, I love him- and, he's a damn fool. (next to them, Roose Bolton prevents a servant girl from pouring him wine)

Catelyn Stark: Don't you drink, Lord Bolton?

Roose Bolton: Never do, my Lady- dulls the senses.

Brynden Tully: That's the point. Didn't you marry one of these Frey girls?

Roose Bolton: Aye- Lord Walder let me choose any of his granddaughters- and promised me the girl's weight in silver as a dowry. So, I have a fat young bride. (Brynden sniggers)

Catelyn Stark: (seriously) I hope she makes you very happy.

Roose Bolton: Well, she's made me very rich.

Brynden Tully: Pardon, my Lord, my Lady- I need to find a tree to piss on. (leaves)

Walder Frey: [To Robb] Your Grace, I fear I've been, remiss in my duties. I've given you meat and wine and music, but, I haven't shown you the hospitality you deserve. My king has married and I owe my new queen a wedding gift. [Catelyn notices Roose Bolton is wearing mail, and slaps him]

Catelyn: Robb! [Turns just as Lothar Frey stabs Talisa in the stomach, and the other Freys proceed to attack the northmen; Catelyn and Robb are both wounded by crossbow bolts. As the slaughter winds down, Robb- injured in the shoulder- crawls across the room to Talisa's body]

Walder Frey: The King in the North arises!

Catelyn Stark: [Holding a knife to Jeyhousse's throat] Lord Walder! Lord Walder, enough! 'Let it end! Please! He is my son, my first son! Let him go and I swear we will forget this, I swear it by the old gods and the new, we will take no vengeance!

Walder Frey: You already swore me one oath, right here in my castle. You swore by all the gods that your son would marry my daughter!

Catelyn Stark: Take me for your hostage! But let Robb go. [Turning to Robb, who is holding Talisa's body on the ground] Robb get up, get up and walk out, please! Please!

Walder Frey: And why would I let him do that?

Catelyn Stark: [Turning back to Walder Frey] On my honor as a Tully, On my honor as a Stark! Let Robb go, or I will cut your wife's throat!

Walder Frey: [Shrugs] I'll find another.

Robb Stark: [Stands up weakly] Mother...

Roose Bolton: [Walks up to Robb and holds him on the shoulder] The Lannisters send their regards.

[Roose stabs Robb through the heart with his longsword. Robb gasps for breath and falls back dead on the ground. Catelyn screams in anguish as she cuts Jeyhousse's throat. She drops the knife as her face goes blank, she is left standing there before Black Walder comes up behind her and slits her throat]

Mhysa [3.10][edit]

[Tyrion enters the Tower of the Hand to find Varys, Tywin, Pycelle and Cersei waiting for him; Joffrey enters the room, grinning smugly]

Tyrion Lannister: (glares at Joffrey as he sits down) Killed a few puppies today?

Joffrey Baratheon: (gestures to Pycelle) Show him- go on, show him! (Pycelle takes out a small scroll and holds it out, but deliberately drops it when Tyrion reaches for it)

Pycelle: Ohhh! I'm sorry, my Lord- old fingers. (Tyrion rolls his eyes, picks up the note and unrolls it)

Tyrion Lannister: (reading) "Roslin caught a fine fat trout. Her brothers gave her a pair of wolf pelts for her wedding. Signed Walder Frey." Is that bad poetry, or is it supposed to mean something?

Joffrey Baratheon: (gleefully) Robb Stark is dead! And his bitch mother! (Tyrion looks startled, Joffrey turns to Pycelle) Write back to Lord him for his service and command him to send Robb Stark's head to me. I'm going to serve it to Sansa at my wedding feast.

[this suggestion is met with disgust by the council]

Varys: Your Grace, Lady Sansa is your aunt by marriage.

Cersei Lannister: A joke. Joffrey did not mean it.

Joffrey Baratheon: Yes, I did. I'm going to have it served to Sansa at my wedding feast.

Tyrion Lannister: No. She is no longer yours to torment.

Joffrey Baratheon: Everyone is mine to torment. You'd do well to remember that, you little monster.

Tyrion Lannister: Oh, I'm a monster?! Perhaps you should speak to me more softly, then. Monsters are dangerous and just now kings are dying like flies.

[The council are aghast by this threat, though Varys gives an amused smile and Tywin remains unperturbed]

Joffrey Baratheon: I could have your tongue out for saying that!

Cersei Lannister: Let him make his threats. Hmm? He's a bitter little man.

Pycelle: Lord Tyrion should apologize immediately. Unacceptable, disrespectful, and in very bad taste!

Joffrey Baratheon: I am the king! (Varys rolls his eyes) I will punish you!

Tywin Lannister: (rolls his eyes) Any man who must say, "I am the king" is no true king. I'll make sure you understand that when I've won your war for you.

Joffrey Baratheon: My father won the real war! He killed Prince Rhaegar- He took the crown, while you hid under Casterly Rock!

[There is a long, tense silence, as the council wait to see how Tywin will respond to such a shocking insult; Tyrion watches eagerly to see which of the two relatives he despises the most will win. After he takes a second to contemplate his words to his grandfather, even Joffrey shows muted terror. But although Tywin's gaze never leaves Joffrey, he remains completely calm, and continues to betray no emotion]

Tywin Lannister: The king is tired. See him to his chambers.

Cersei Lannister: [quickly] Come along.

Joffrey Baratheon: I'm not tired.

Cersei Lannister: We have so much to celebrate. A wedding to plan. You must rest.

Tywin Lannister: Grand Maester, perhaps some essence of nightshade to help him sleep.

Joffrey Baratheon: I'm not... tired!

[Tywin smirks at Joffrey.]

Cersei Lannister: Come.

[Joffrey leaves with his mother without any further protest, and the rest of the Small Council try to leave as well.]

Tywin Lannister: [To Tyrion] Not you.

Tyrion Lannister: (with grudging admiration) You just sent the most powerful man in Westeros to bed without his supper.

Tywin Lannister: You're a fool if you believe he's the most powerful man in Westeros.

Tyrion Lannister: (sarcastically) A treasonous statement! Joffrey is king.

Tywin Lannister: You really think a crown gives you power?

Tyrion Lannister: No, I think armies give you power. (Tywin nods) Robb Stark had one, never lost a battle, and you defeated him all the same. [Tywin nods again] Oh, I know. Walder Frey gets all the credit- or the blame, I suppose, depending on your allegiance. (Tywin smiles slightly, pause) Walder Frey is many things, but a brave man? No. He never would have risked such an action, unless he had certain assurances...

Tywin Lannister: Which he got from me. Do you disapprove?

Tyrion Lannister: I'm all for cheating, this is war. But to slaughter them at a wedding...

Tywin Lannister: Explain to me why it is more noble to kill ten thousand men in battle than a dozen at dinner.

Tyrion Lannister: (sarcastically) So that's why you did it- to save lives?

Tywin Lannister: (impatient) To end the war- to protect the family. Do you want to write a song for the dead Starks? Go ahead! Write one. (pause) I'm in this world a little while longer- to defend the Lannisters, to defend my blood.

Tyrion Lannister: ...The Northerners will never forget.

Tywin Lannister: Good. Let them remember what happens when they march on the South. (pause, puts his papers away) All the Stark men are dead. Winterfell is a ruin. Roose Bolton will be named Warden of the North- until your son by Sansa comes of age. (stands up) I believe you still have some work to do on that score. (turns away, Tyrion stands up, furious, and follows him across the room)

Tyrion Lannister: (angrily) Do you think she'll open her legs for me after I tell her how we murdered her mother and brother?!

Tywin Lannister: One way or another, you will get that girl pregnant-

Tyrion Lannister: I will not rape her! (pause)

Tywin Lannister: ...Shall I explain to you in one easy lesson how the world works?

Tyrion Lannister: (sneering) Use small words- I'm not as bright as you! (Tywin glares at him)

Tywin Lannister: The house that puts family first will always defeat the house that puts the whims and wishes of its' sons and daughters first. (Tyrion gives him an odd expression) A good man does everything in his power to better his family's position- regardless of his own selfish desires. (Tyrion begins to smirk)... Does that amuse you?!

Tyrion Lannister: No, it's a very good lesson... (turns angry again) Only it's easy for you to preach utter devotion to family, when you're making all the decisions!

Tywin Lannister: (angry) Easy for me, is it?

Tyrion Lannister: When have you ever done something that wasn't in your interest, but solely for the benefit of the family?!

Tywin Lannister: (with controlled fury) The day that you were born. (Tyrion is caught off-guard, Tywin continues, for once showing grief for the loss of his wife) I wanted to carry you into the sea and let the waves wash you away. Instead, I let you live- and I've brought you up as my son. Because you're a Lannister! (storms out, Tyrion ponders his words)

[At the Twins, in the great hall, servants clean up the aftermath of the Red Wedding]

Walder Frey: "The late Walder Frey" old Tully called me because I didn't get my men to the Trident in time for battle. He thought he was witty...but look at us now, Tully! You're dead, your daughter's dead, your grandson's dead, your son spent his wedding night in a dungeon and I am Lord of Riverrun! [cackles]

Roose Bolton: The Blackfish escaped.

Walder Frey: An old man on the run with no allies. I have Tywin Lannister backing me, who does he have?

Roose Bolton: [unconvinced] As you say.

Walder Frey: They all laughed at me, all those high lords, they all thought they were better than me: Ned Stark, Hoster Tully...people snigger when I marry a young girl, but who said a word when Jon Arryn married the little Tully bitch?!

Roose Bolton: You'll be needing a new young girl.

Walder Frey: Yes...got that to look forward to. And you...the Warden of the North! No more Starks to bow and scrape to! Must have been torture following that stupid boy all over the country.

Roose Bolton: He ignored my advice at every turn. If he'd been a trifle less arrogant...

Walder Frey: Calling himself "The Young Wolf"...how's that for pomposity?! Well...[raises his goblet in mock toast] Here's to the Young Wolf! [makes a mocking wolf howl]

Roose Bolton: Forever young. [both men chuckle]

Walder Frey: Will you move to Winterfell now that the war's over?

Roose Bolton: At some point, perhaps. But Winterfell's in ruins.

Walder Frey: Yes...what happened up there? I heard the Greyjoy boy seized the place. I heard he killed all the ravens and then, nothing.

Roose Bolton: I sent my bastard Ramsay to root him out. Robb Stark offered amnesty for the ironborn amnesty if they gave us Theon.

Walder Frey: And?

Roose Bolton: [grins] Ramsay delivered the terms. The ironborn turned on Theon as we knew they would. They handed him over, trussed and hooded, but Ramsay...well, Ramsay has his own way of doing things.

Ramsay: [eating a sausage] Those girls weren't lying. You had a good sized cock. [Theon weakly looks at the sausage in horror] What? [realizes what Theon is thinking] No! Pork sausage. Do you think I'm some sort of savage? When people talk about phantom limbs, an amputee might have an itch where his foot used to be. So I've always wondered, do eunuchs have a phantom cock? Next time you think about naked girls, will you feel an itch? [Theon whimpers as Ramsay grins cruelly and waves the sausage at him. After a few moments, Ramsay lowers the sausage] Sorry. I shouldn't make jokes. My mother taught me not to throw stones at cripples...[grins] but my father taught me aim for their head!

Theon: ...kill me...

Ramsay: Sorry, what?

Theon: Kill me.

Ramsay: A little louder.

Theon: KILL ME!

Ramsay: You're no good to me dead. We need you. [Ramsay walks over to Theon and grabs his hair] You don't look like Theon Greyjoy anymore. That's a name for a lord. But you're not a lord, are you? You're just...meat. Stinking meat. You reek. (lets go of Theon and steps back with a grin on his face) Reek! That's a good name for you. What's your name?

Theon: Theon Greyjoy.

[Ramsay backhands Theon]

Ramsay: What's your name?

Theon: Th-Theon Greyjoy.

[Ramsay punches Theon in the jaw, jolting his head back against the rack]

Theon: Please...

[Ramsay grabs Theon by the face]

Ramsay: (snarling) What...is...your...name?!

Theon: Reek. My name is...Reek. (Ramsay grins, lets go of him and walks away; Theon slumps forward and weeps)

Varys: When did you come to this strange country?

Shae: When I was thirteen.

Varys: You were only a child?

Shae: I stopped being a child when I was nine. My mother made sure of that.

Varys: You've been a good influence on our mutual friend, you know. (Shae permits herself a smile) He used to drink from sun-down to sun-up, visit three brothels a night, gamble away his father's money. Now it's just the drinking.

Shae: (bitterly) And now I'm his wife's servant. I brush her hair and clip her nails and empty her chamber pot.

Varys: She is a sweet young thing. None of this is her fault.

Shae: (angrily) I love that girl. I would kill for her. Do you think that makes it easier for me?

Varys: No- I expect not. (Shae turns away)

Shae: (sadly) She's young, and beautiful, and... high-born.

Varys: We break bread with them, but that doesn't make us family. We've learned their language, but we'll never be their countrymen. (pause, comes closer) If you let yourself believe that a foreign girl with no name could spend her life with the son of Tywin Lannister-

Shae: (turns around, angrily) I have a name-

Varys: (firmly) You have one name... as do I. Here, only the family name matters.

Shae:...What do you want from me, Lord Varys? (Varys glances around, then presses a leather pouch into her hand)

Varys: Diamonds. (pats the pouch) I'd tell you to beware carrying so much wealth, but you know how to protect yourself. (pause) Get on one of those ships- sail to Pentos, or Lhys, or Myr. (Shae stares at him coldly) You can buy a house with these diamonds- a very large house. Hire servants- start a new life, a good life, far from here. (smiles and steps back) A mysterious foreign beauty- you'll have suitors lining up.

Shae: (looks from Varys to the diamonds)...Why do you want me to leave?

Varys: Tyrion Lannister is one of the few people alive who can make this country a better place. He has the mind for it, he has the will, he has the right last name- and you... you are a complication.(softens his tone) I know you love him- and I know it's true love, not bought by gold and silver. I'm not asking you to leave him for money- I'm asking you to leave, because your presence in the Capitol endangers him. (pause) This will never be your home, my Lady. Find a true home, somewhere far from here- while there's still time. (turns to go)

Shae: (angrily) Lord Varys! (Varys turns back, Shae throws the pouch of diamonds at his feet) If he wants me to leave, he can tell me himself.

1st Frey Bannerman: (notices Arya has crept up behind him)...What d'you want?

Arya Stark: Mind if I keep warm? (the man rolls his eyes and turns away)

2nd Frey Bannerman: Fuck off!

Arya Stark: (acting pitiful) But I'm hungry.

1st Frey Bannerman: (turns around again) Does "Fuck off" mean something different where you're from?

Arya Stark: I've got money. (she reaches into her belt pouch and pulls out the Braavosi coin Jacquen gave her)

1st Frey Bannerman: (squints at it) What kinda coin is that?

Arya Stark: It's worth a lot. (she drops it on the ground when he reaches for it) Sorry.

1st Frey Bannerman: (scowls at her) Little shit. (as he leans over to pick up the coin, Arya violently stabs him several times in the back and neck. The other three Frey soldiers, shocked, jump up and draw their swords, approaching her, but Sandor "The Hound" Clegane blocks their path with his sword drawn. They pause, then attack, and Sandor quickly and brutally kills all three of them. Arya stands over the man she killed)

Sandor Clegane: (walks over to her) Where did you get the knife?

Arya Stark: (holds up her blood-coated dagger)...From you. (the Hound quickly checks his belt, then irritably snatches the dagger back)

Sandor Clegane: Is that the first man you've killed?

Arya Stark:...The first man.

Sandor Clegane: (irritated, wags the dagger in her face) The next time you're going to do something like that, tell me first! (walks over to the dead men's fire and begins looting their supplies)

Arya Stark: (picks up the Braavosi coin)...Valar Morghulis.

Samwell Tarly: I know how this must look. [remembers Aemon is blind] What I meant was-

Gilly: I swear to you, my lord-

Maester Aemon: I'm not a lord, my dear. Not for many, many years. Every man who joins the Night's Watch renounces all former titles. Among other things. What is your name?

Gilly: Gilly.

Maester Aemon: Ah, for the gillyflower. Lovely.

Gilly: Yes, my-

Samwell Tarly: Maester.

Gilly: Master.

Samwell Tarly: Maester.

Maester Aemon: And the child?

Samwell Tarly: She hasn't chosen a name yet.

Gilly: His name is Sam.

Maester Aemon: Tarly... do you remember the oath you swore when you joined this order?

Samwell Tarly: He's not my child, Maester Aemon. She's one of Craster's wives. I remember every word of the oath. Night gathers and my watch begins. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. The realms of men. That means her as well as us. We didn't build 500 miles of ice walls 700 feet high to keep out men. The night is gathering, Maester Aemon. I've seen it. It's coming for all of us.

Maester Aemon: Gilly, you and your son will be our guests for the time being. We certainly cannot send you back beyond the Wall.

Gilly: Thank you... Maester. I can cook and clean and I can-

Maester Aemon: Good. Samwell, fetch a quill and inkwell. I hope your penmanship is better than your swordplay.

Samwell Tarly: Miles better.

Maester Aemon: We had 44 ravens at last count. Make sure they're all fed. Every one of them flies tonight.

[while washing cuts on his face after fleeing the Wildlings, Jon is confronted by Ygritte, who has an arrow aimed at him]

Jon Snow: (stands up, sadly) Ygritte, you know I didn't have a choice. You always knew who I was- what I am. I have to go home now- I know you won't hurt me.

Ygritte: (vengeful and sad) You know nothing, Jon Snow.

Jon Snow: (laughs sadly) I do know some things. I know I love you (Ygritte's eyes well with tears) I know that you love me. (shakes his head) But I have to go home now! (he turns away and Ygritte fires an arrow into his shoulder, knocking him down in agony. Jon staggers over to his horse, climbs on and rides away, but not before Ygritte shoots him twice more; she watches him go, sobbing)

Days Gone Bye [1.01][edit]

Rick Grimes: What's the difference between men and women?

Shane Walsh: Is this a joke?

Rick Grimes: No, serious.

Shane Walsh: Never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. Born thinking the switch only goes one way: on. Come home, house all lit up, and my job, you see, apparently because my chromosomes happen to be different is that I gotta walk through that house and turn off every single light this chick left on.

Rick Grimes: Is that right?

Shane Walsh: Yeah, baby. Oh Reverend Shane is a-preachin' to ya now, boy. Then this same chick, mind ya, she'll bitch about, uh, Global Warming. This is where Reverend Shane wants to quote from the Guy Gospel and say, "Uh, darlin' maybe if you and every other pair of boobs on this planet could just figure out that the light switch, see, goes both ways, maybe we wouldn't have so much Global Warming?"

Rick Grimes: You say that?

Shane Walsh: The polite version. Still, that earns me this look of loathing you would not believe and that's when the Exorcist voice pops out "You sound just like my damn Father! Always yellin' about the power bill and tellin' me to turn off the damn lights!"

Rick Grimes: What do you say to that?

Shane Walsh: I know what I want to say. What I want to say, "Bitch, you mean to tell me you've been hearing this your entire life and you are still too damn stupid to learn how to turn off a switch?"

Morgan Jones: Bites kill you. The fever burns you out. But then after a while...you come back.

Glenn Rhee: [over the radio to Rick] Hey, you. Dumbass. Hey, you in the tank. Cozy in there?

Guts [1.02][edit]

Glenn Rhee: [to Rick] Nice moves there, Clint Eastwood. You the new sheriff come riding in to clean up the town?

Merle Dixon: Hey! Y'all be more polite to a man with a gun! Huh? Ah! Only common sense.

Merle Dixon: Who the hell are you, man?!

Rick Grimes: Officer Friendly. Look here, Merle. Things are different now. There are no niggers anymore. No dumb-as-shit, inbred white-trash fools either. Only dark meat and white meat. There's us and the dead. We survive this by pulling together, not apart.

Merle Dixon: Screw you, man.

Rick Grimes: I can see you make a habit of missing the point.

Merle Dixon: Yeah? Well, screw you twice.

Rick Grimes: Ought to be polite to a man with a gun. [cocks gun] Only common sense.

Merle Dixon: You wouldn't. You're a cop.

Rick Grimes: All I am anymore is a man looking for his wife and son. Anybody that gets in the way of that is gonna lose. I'll give you a moment to think about that.

Tell It to the Frogs[1.03][edit]

Merle Dixon: [delirious] That's right. You heard me, bitch. You got a problem? Bring it on if you're man enough, or take it up the chain if you're a pussy. You heard me, you pussy-ass noncom bitch. You ain't deaf. Take it up the damn chain of command or you can kiss my lily-white ass. [laughs] That's right. That's what I said. You heard me. And then this idiot, he takes a swing, you know, and well... [laughs] Oh, you should've seen the look on his face when I punched out his front teeth. Yeah, five of 'em. Pow! Pow! Just like that. Huh. Oh my God. Oh, 16 months... in the stockade, that's what them teeth cost me. That was, that was hard time, but by God, it was worth every minute of it just to see that prick spit his teeth out on the ground. Yes sir, worth every minute. Mmm.

Merle Dixon: [praying] I didn't behave, I know. I know I'm being punished. I know. I- Oh, I deserve it. I deserve it. I've been bad. Help me now. Show me the way. Go on, tell me what to do. Tell me. Tell me. God!That's okay. Never you mind, silly Christ boy. I ain't begged you before. I ain't gonna start begging now. I ain't gonna beg you now! Don't you worry about me begging you ever! I'll never beg you! I ain't gonna beg you! I never begged you before.

Dale Horvath: Words can be meager things. Sometimes they fall short.

Vatos [1.04][edit]

Daryl Dixon: Nobody can kill Merle but Merle.

Shane Walsh: Jim, nobody is gonna hurt you, okay?

Jim: That's a lie. That's the biggest lie there is. I told that to my wife and my two boys. I said it 100 times. It didn't matter. They came out of nowhere. There were dozens of 'em. Just pulled 'em right out of my hands. You know, the only reason I got away was 'cause the dead were too busy eating my family.

Daryl Dixon: Hey kid, what'd you do before all this?

Glenn Rhee: Deliver pizzas. Why?

Daryl Dixon: You got some balls for a China man.

Glenn Rhee: I'm Korean.

Daryl Dixon: Whatever.

Jim: I remember my dream now, why I dug the holes.

Wildfire [1.05][edit]

[Dr. Jenner is speaking to a recording camera.]

Edwin Jenner: Jenner here. It's Day 194 since Wildfire was declared and 63 days since the disease abruptly went global. There's no clinical progress to report. Item: I finally got the scrubbers in the east sector shut down to save power. Wish I could have done it a month ago, but it took me how long to figure it out. Too bad I never studied engineering. Could have saved a lot of amps. Item: Still not sleeping well. Can't seem to keep regular hours. Living underground doesn't help; not knowing if it's day or night. Just...feeling very...off.

[Dr. Jenner is speaking to a recording camera after the decontamination process destroyed his samples.]

Edwin Jenner: The TS-19 samples are gone. The tragedy of their loss cannot be overstated. They were our freshest samples, by far. None of the other samples we gathered came close. Those are necrotic. Useless, dead flesh. [Pause] I don't even know why I'm talking to you. I bet there isn't a single son of a bitch still listening out there, is there? [Gets closer to the camera] Is there? Fine. Saves me the embarrassment. I think tomorrow I'm gonna blow my brains out. I haven't decided. But tonight, I'm getting drunk. [Pours a glass of wine, finishing the bottle. Shows the camera the bottle.] Speaking of which, how far do you think I can chuck this, huh? Pretty far, I bet. [Throws bottle across room, shattering it.] Oh! It is out of the stadium!

TS-19 [1.06][edit]

Rick Grimes: [to Jenner] You don't know what it's like out there. You may think you do but you don't. It's only a matter of time. There's too many of those things. My boy, my wife, I never told them what I really thought. I never even hinted, just, just kept it in, kept us moving, kept it in, kept us moving.

Dale Horvath: I see a chance to make a new start.

Daryl Dixon: Man, I'm gonna get shit-faced drunk. again.

Edwin Jenner: This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event.

Season 2 (2011–2012)[edit]

What Lies Ahead [2.01][edit]

Andrea: [to Dale] All I wanted after my sister died was to get out of this endless horrific nightmare we live every day. I wasn't hurting anyone else. You took my choice away, Dale. And you expect gratitude? I don't know what to say. I'm not your little girl. I'm not your wife. And I am sure as hell not your problem.

Carol Peletier: [praying] Father, forgive me. I don't deserve your mercy. I prayed for safe passage from Atlanta and you provided. I prayed for Ed to be punished for laying his hands on me and for looking at his own daughter with whatever sickness was growing in his soul. I prayed you'd put a stop to it, give me a chance to raise her right, help her not make my mistakes. She's so fearful. She's so young in her way. She hasn't had a chance. Praying for Ed's death was a sin. Please, don't let this be my punishment. Let her be safe, alive and safe. Please, lord. Punish me however you want, but show mercy on her.

Bloodletting[2.02][edit]

Dale Horvath: Listen, your veins are very discolored. You got a hell of an infection there. You could die from blood poisoning.

T-Dog: [laughs] Oh, man. Wouldn't that be the way? World gone to hell, the dead risen up to eat the living and Theodore Douglas is done here by a cut on his arm. [laughs harder]

Otis: I ain't gonna sit here while this fella takes this on alone.

T-Dog: What are you, 70?

Dale Horvath: 64.

T-Dog: Uh-huh. And I'm the one black guy. Realize how precarious that makes my situation?

Save the Last One [2.03][edit]

Lori Grimes: Maybe this isn't a world for children anymore.

[Daryl finds a walker hanging by a rope and reads off a note on the tree]

Daryl Dixon: "Got bit. Fever hit. World gone to shit. Might as well quit". Dumbass didn't know enough to shoot himself in the head. Turns himself in a swinging piece of bait. And a mess.

Daryl Dixon: Look at him. Hanging up there like a big piñata. The other geeks came and ate all the flesh off his legs.

Andrea: I thought we were changing the subject.

Daryl Dixon: Call that payback for laughing about my itchy ass.

Cherokee Rose [2.04][edit]

Rick Grimes: Last time I asked God for a favor and stopped to admire a view, my son got shot. I try not to mix it up with the almighty anymore.

Hershel Greene: [to Rick] My father didn't bother with comforting lies. He used his fist. He was a loveless, violent drunk and no good to anybody. He drove me from home when I was 15. Didn't lay eyes on this place again for many years. I was not at his deathbed, Rick. I would not grant him that and to this day do not regret it. Some men do not earn the love of their sons. I don't see you having that problem.

Daryl Dixon: [to Carol] It's a Cherokee Rose. The story is that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the Trail of Tears, the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way from exposure and disease and starvation. A lot of them just disappeared. So the elders, they said a prayer; asked for a sign to uplift the mothers' spirits, give them strength and hope. The next day this rose started to grow where the mothers' tears fell. I'm not fool enough to think there's any flowers blooming for my brother. But I believe this one bloomed for your little girl.

Maggie Greene: [to Glenn] I`ll have sex with you.

Chupacabra [2.05][edit]

Jimmy: I want a gun.

Daryl Dixon: And people in hell want Slurpees.

Merle Dixon Hallucination: [to Daryl] You're a joke is what you are, playing errand boy to a bunch of pansy-asses, niggers and democrats. You're nothing but a freak to them. Redneck trash. That's all you are. They're laughing at you behind your back. You know that, don't you? I got a little news for you, son. One day they gonna scrape you off their heels like you was dogshit. Hey. They ain't your kin, your blood. Hell, you had any damn nuts in that sack of yours, you'd got back there and shoot your pal Rick in the face for me. Now you listen to me. Ain't nobody ever gonna care about you except me, little brother. Nobody ever will. Come on. Get up on your feet, before I'm gonna have to kick your teeth in. Let's go.

Glenn Rhee: Dale, you think Andrea's on her period? I'm only asking 'cause it's like all the women are acting really weird. And I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time.

Dale Horvath: I'm gonna advise you to keep that theory to yourself.

Secrets [2.06][edit]

Daryl Dixon: [to Andrea] Shoot me again? You best pray I'm dead.

Dale Horvath: [referring to Otis] You've been vague about that night about what happened.

Shane Walsh: Otis died a hero.

Dale Horvath: So you've said.

Shane Walsh: A little boy lived because of what went down that night. I think you oughta show some gratitude.

Dale Horvath: I wasn't there.

Shane Walsh: No man, you weren't.

Dale Horvath: But I was the time you raised your gun on Rick. You had him in your sights... and you held him there. I know what kind of man you are.

Shane Walsh: You think I'd shoot Rick? That is my best friend. That's the man that I love, I love him like he's my brother. You think that's the kind of man I am?

Dale Horvath: That's right.

Shane Walsh: [menacingly] Well maybe we oughta just think that through. See, if I'm the kind of man that would gun down his own best friend, what'd you think I do to some guy I don't even like when he starts throwing accusations my way. What'd you think?

Pretty Much Dead Already [2.07][edit]

Shane Walsh: Hell, when you really look at it in the cold light of day, you're pretty much dead already.

Shane Walsh: These things ain't sick! They're not people! THEY'RE DEAD! All they do, THEY KILL! These things right here! they're the things that killed Amy! They killed Otis! They're gonna kill all of us.

Rick Grimes: Shane, STOP!

Shane Walsh: Hey, Hershel. Man, let me ask you something. could a living, breathing person, could they walk away from this?

[Shoots a walker 3 times]

Rick Grimes: STOP IT!

Shane Walsh: That's 3 rounds in the chest. Someone who's a alive, could they just take that?! Why is it still coming?!

[Shoots a walker twice]

Shane Walsh: That's its heart, its lungs! Why is it still coming?!

[Shoots a walker 3 times]

Rick Grimes: Shane, enough!

Shane Walsh: Yeah, you're right, man. That is enough.

[Walks toward the walker and shoots it in the head]

Shane Walsh: Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's GONE! Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us! Enough! Rick, it ain't like it was before! Now, if y'all wanna live, if y'all wanna survive, you gotta fight for it! I'm talking about fighting, right here! Right now!

Nebraska [2.08][edit]

Hershel Greene: [to Rick] You people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroy it all!

Dave: [to Rick] You don't know what we've had to go through out there, the things we've had to do. I bet you've had to do some of those same things yourself. Am I right? 'Cause ain't nobody's hands clean in what's left of this world.

Triggerfinger [2.09][edit]

Hershel Greene: You want me to cover Glenn?

Rick Grimes': You missed all that gun training. It could've come in handy now.

Hershel Greene: Nah, I can shoot. Just don't like to.

Maggie Greene: What's going on with you?

Glenn Rhee: Your dad saved my life today. And Rick saved us both. And I - I froze.

Maggie Greene: Well, you were being shot at.

Glenn Rhee: No, that...

Maggie Greene: You don't have anything to prove.

Glenn Rhee: All I've done - and then this. Okay? It's because of what you said.

Maggie Greene: That I love you?

Glenn Rhee: Yeah. A bullet hit the wall behind me and I - I thought of you - losing me, hurting. And I couldn't take it, so I hid to stay alive.

Maggie Greene: [Reaching out to embrace him] Glenn...

Glenn Rhee: [Backs away from her] No, no, no. No, you don't get it. Rick, your dad - they were counting on me and I - I only thought of myself.

18 Miles Out [2.10][edit]

Shane Walsh: He knows where the farm is, Rick. Where we are- he knows. Say he finds his way back to his people... (pulls out his glock)

Rick Grimes: Shane, no! [pushes him] Not now. Just not now!

Shane Walsh: Well, when, Rick? When?

Rick Grimes: When I've had a chance to think about it.

Randall: Don't let him kill me. Please don't.

Rick: Shut up! We're going back. It's a man's life. I need a night to think it through.

Shane Walsh: You're gonna bring this piece of garbage... this piece of garbage who - he shot at you, Rick. He ran with men who tried to kill you. You gonna bring him back to where Lori sleeps? To where Carl sleeps?

Rick Grimes: He'll be locked up in the barn, unless you bust it open.

Shane Walsh: Oh, don't start that shit.

Rick Grimes: I'm taking the night.

Shane Walsh: Man, you take that... you think on it, Rick. Keep struggling with it. It ain't hard, man. The right choice is the one that keeps us alive. It's always the same with you. It's like the first moment - it's whenever you're put to the test.

Rick Grimes: Stop acting like you know the way ahead, like you know the rules. There are no rules, man. We're lost.

Shane Walsh: No-no-no, man. I know exactly where I am.

Rick Grimes: You don't know shit anymore.

Shane Walsh: I don't think you can do it, Rick.

Rick Grimes: It's my call, man.

Shane Walsh: I don't think you can keep them safe.

Shane Walsh: Rick, you can't just be the good guy and expect to live. Okay? Not anymore.

Rick Grimes: I'm not the good guy anymore.

Rick Grimes: You want to kill me, you're going to have to do better than that wrench.

Andrea: The pain doesn't go away. You just make room for it.

Judge, Jury, Executioner [2.11][edit]

Dale Horvath: The world that we knew is dead. And this new world is 's 's- it's survival of the fittest. And that's a world I don't wanna live in, and I don't- And I don't believe that any of you do. I can't. Please. Let's just do what's right. Isn't there anybody else who's gonna stand with me?

Carol Peletier: You know, we'll see Sophia again in heaven some day. She's in a better place.

Carl Grimes: No, she's not. Heaven is just another lie, and if you believe it, you're an idiot.

Carol Peletier: Everyone either avoids me or they treat me like I'm crazy. I lost my daughter. I didn't lose my mind!

Daryl Dixon: [to a dying Dale] Sorry, brother.

Better Angels [2.12][edit]

Rick Grimes: Dale could... could get under your skin. He sure got under mine, because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare and brave. Whenever I'd make a decision, I'd look at Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another. I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us- The truth Who we really are. In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group was broken. The best way to honor him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives Our safety our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on We're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale.

Rick Grimes: What happened to Dale had nothing to do with you.

Carl Grimes: He died, Dad.

Rick Grimes: Yeah, feels like there's a lot of that going around. That's why I need you.

Shane Walsh: We tried to kill each other, man. What did you think, we gonna forget about it all, we're gonna ride off into the sunset together?

Rick Grimes: You're gonna kill me in cold blood? Screw my wife? Have my children - my children - call you daddy? Is that what you want? That life won't be worth a damn. I know you. You won't be able to live with this.

Shane Walsh: What you know about what I can live with? You got no idea what I can live with, what I live with!

Rick Grimes': [last words spoken to Shane as he stabs him in the chest] You did this to us! This was you, not me! NOT ME!

Beside the Dying Fire [2.13][edit]

Hershel Greene: I can't profess to understand God's plan. Christ promised a resurrection of the dead. I just assumed he had something a little different in mind.

Rick Grimes: We're all infected.

Daryl Dixon: What?

Rick Grimes': At the C.D.C., Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it.

Carol Peletier: And you never said anything?

Rick Grimes': Would it have made a difference?

Glenn Rhee: You knew this whole time?

Rick Grimes': How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that mo-

Glenn Rhee: That is not your call. Okay, when I found about the Walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of everyone.

Rick Grimes: Well, I thought it best that people didn't know.

Rick Grimes': [to Lori] I killed him. I killed Shane. He came at me. He killed Randall to get me in the woods. He planned it. I had - I had no choice. I gave him every chance... and he kept leading me further out. He pushed me, and I let him. After awhile, I knew - I knew what he was doing, what he was up to. And I kept going. I didn't stop. I could have, but... I just wanted it over. Dogging me every step of the way. Acting like I stole you and Carl, like... like I was in the way. I just wanted it over. I wanted him dead. I killed him. He turned. That's how I knew Jenner was right. Carl put him down.

Maggie Greene: I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move, now.

Rick Grimes': No one is going anywhere.

Carol Peletier: Do something.

Rick Grimes: I am doing something! I'm keeping this group together. Alive! I've been doing that all along, no matter what; I didn't ask for this! I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ sake! You saw how he was like. How he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice! He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean. Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe... maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe... Maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't... why don't you go out and find out yourself. Send me a postcard! Go on, there's the door. You can do better. Let's see how far you get. No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight. You're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore.

Season 3 (2012–2013)[edit]

Seed [3.01][edit]

Lori Grimes: The baby is about to be here and we need to talk-

Rick Grimes: About what?

Lori Grimes: Things. We've been avoiding them-

Rick Grimes: You want to talk? Talk to Hershel. I'm doing stuff, Lori. Things.

Sick [3.02][edit]

Tomas: It was coming at me, bro.

Rick Grimes: Yeah, yeah, I get it. I get it. Shit happens.

[Rick kills Tomas]

Axel: I like my pharmaceuticals, but I'm no killer.

Oscar: I ain't never pleaded for my life. And I ain't about to start now.

Walk with Me [3.03][edit]

Merle Dixon: Now, how's about a big hug for your old pal Merle?

Merle Dixon: I plucked you and your mute here out of the dirt, blondie. Saved your asses. How about a thank you?

Michonne: You had a gun on us.

Merle Dixon: Ooh, she speaks. Who ain't had a gun on 'em in the past year, huh? Show of hands, y'all. Anybody? Hmm? Shumpert, Crowley. Y'all had a gun on y'all? Hell I think I'd piss my pants if some stranger come walking up with his mitts in his pockets. That'd be the son of a bitch you'd really want to be scared of.

The Governor: Welcome to Woodbury!

Andrea: So what's your real name? If it's not asking too much.

The Governor: I never tell.

Andrea: Never say never.

The Governor: [beat] Never.

Killer Within [3.04][edit]

Lori Grimes: [to Carl] You are going to beat this world, I know you will. You are smart, and you are strong, and you are so brave, and I love you. You gotta do what's right. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world. So, so, if it feels wrong don't do it, alright? If it feels easy don't do it, don't let this world spoil you. You're so good, my sweet boy. Best thing I ever did and I love you, I love you. My sweet, sweet, boy I love you.

Say the Word [3.05][edit]

Hounded [3.06][edit]

Merle Dixon: Look at this. She sent us a biter-gram, y'all.

Daryl Dixon: You know, my mom, she liked her wine. She liked to smoke in bed. Virginia Slims. I was playing out with the kids in the neighborhood. I could do that with Merle gone. They had bikes, I didn't. We heard sirens getting louder. They jumped on their bikes, ran after it, you know, hoping to see something worth seeing. I ran after them, but I couldn't keep up. I ran around a corner and saw my friends looking at me. Hell, I saw everybody looking at me. Fire trucks everywhere. People from the neighborhood. It was my house they were there for. It was my mom in bed burnt down to nothing. That was the hard part. You know, she was just gone. Erased. Nothing left of her. People said it was better that way. I don't know. Just made it seem like it wasn't real, you know?

Carl Grimes: I shot my mom. She was out. Hadn't turned yet. I ended it. It was real. I'm sorry about your mom.

Daryl Dixon: I'm sorry about yours.

When the Dead Come Knocking [3.07][edit]

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Made to Suffer [3.08][edit]

The Governor: What happened tonight is horrible. We haven't have a day like that since the wall was built. I failed in my duty. I should say that we're going be OK, and we're safe we will bury our dead tomorrow and watch TV on the sofa. But I won't. Because I can't. Cause I'm afraid. I'm afraid that the terrorists want what we have! They want to destroy us! And worst. Because one of those terrorists is one of our own. Merle! The man I counted on! Man I trusted. He brought them here! He let them in. How could you! You lied! He betrayed us all! This is one of the terrorists huh. Merle's own brother! So what should we do with them, huh?

Woodbury Crowd: Kill them!

The Governor: What? What do you want?

Woodbury Crowd: Kill them!

The Governor: You wanted your brother. Now you got him.

The Suicide King [3.09][edit]

The Governor: When I asked you where your loyalty was you said it was here. Well prove it. Prove it to us all. Brother against brother. The winner goes free. A fight, to the death!

Home [3.10][edit]

Merle Dixon: The shit you doing, pointing that thing at me?

Daryl Dixon: They were scared, man.

Merle Dixon: They were rude is what they were. Rude and they owed us a token of gratitude.

Daryl Dixon: They didn't owe us nothing.

Merle Dixon: You helping people out of the goodness of your heart? Even though you might die doing it? Is that something your Sheriff Rick taught you?

Daryl Dixon: There was a baby!

Merle Dixon: Oh, otherwise you would have just left them to the biters, then?

Daryl Dixon: Man, I went back for you. You weren't there. I didn't cut off your hand, neither. You did that. Way before they locked you up on that roof. You asked for it.

Merle Dixon: You know what's funny to me? You and Sheriff Rick are like this now. Right? I bet you a penny and a fiddle of gold that you never told him that we were planning on robbing that camp blind.

Daryl Dixon: It didn't happen!

Merle Dixon: Yeah, it didn't. 'Cause I wasn't there to help you!

Daryl Dixon: What, like when we were kids, huh? Who left who then?

Merle Dixon: What?! Huh?! Is that why I lost my hand?!

Daryl Dixon: You lost your hand 'cause you're a simple-minded piece of shit!

[Merle grabs Daryl by the shirt]

Merle Dixon: Yeah? You don't know!

[Daryl's shirt rips open, Merle looks horrified, Daryl's back is covered with scars from years of childhood abuse]

Merle Dixon: I... I didn't know he was...

Daryl Dixon: Yeah, you did.

[Daryl tries to hastily cover up his back with the torn pieces of his shirt and his knapsack]

Daryl Dixon: He did the same to you. That's why you left first.

Merle Dixon: I can't go with you, I... I tried to kill that black bitch. Damn nearly killed that Chinese kid.

Daryl Dixon: He's Korean.

Merle Dixon: Whatever. Doesn't matter man I just can't go with you.

Daryl Dixon [to Merle]: I might be the one walking away, but you're the one who's leaving. Again.

I Ain't Judas [3.11][edit]

Merle Dixon: You're the farmer, Hershel.

Hershel Greene: And you're the black sheep, Merle.

Clear [3.12][edit]

Arrow on the Doorpost [3.13][edit]

The Governor: I thought you were a cop, not a lawyer.

Rick Grimes: Either way, I don't pretend to be a governor.

Prey [3.14][edit]

Michonne: [in reference to her Walker "pets"] They deserve what they got. They weren't human to begin with.

This Sorrowful Life [3.15][edit]

Merle Dixon: [to Rick] You know something? You're right. I don't know why I do the things I do. Never did. I'm a damn mystery to me.

Merle Dixon: Maybe these people need somebody like me around, huh? Do their dirty work. The bad guy.

Merle Dixon: You got to play the hand you're dealt. I only got one.

Michonne: You talk about the weight of what you have to do, how you can handle it. A bad man, someone truly evil? They're light as a feather. They don't feel a thing.

Michonne: The truth is this could have been your shot. With your skills, a whole new beginning. But you choose to stay on the outside. No one's gonna mourn you, not even Daryl. He's got a new family.

Merle Dixon: You keep trying to get under my skin, I'm gonna cut that tongue out. Your buddy's turning you over 'cause he's trying to save his own ass. You're as much on the outside as I am, girl.

Michonne: Maybe. But once the Governor's done with me, at least I won't have to live with myself. You said you killed 16 men since this thing started? You ever kill anyone before?

Merle Dixon: No.

Michonne: And how about before Woodbury? Before you met him? Huh. So he saves your life, cleans you up, fed you a line of bullshit. Why would you kill somebody else for him? You know, we can go back.

Merle Dixon: Ain't happening.

Michonne: Both of us. We can just go back.

Merle Dixon: I can't go back. Don't you understand that? I can't.

[The Governor has subdued Merle, and draws his gun]

Merle Dixon: I ain't gonna beg. I ain't begging you!

The Governor: No. [shoots Merle]

Welcome to the Tombs [3.16][edit]

The Governor: [to Milton] I told you to kill her but you didn't. And now you're gonna turn and you're gonna tear away the flesh from her bones. In this life now you kill or you die. Or you die and you kill.

Season 4 (2013–2014)[edit]

30 Days Without an Accident [4.01][edit]

Carl Grimes: You didn't wake me up.

Rick Grimes: I knew you were up all night reading comics with a flashlight.

Daryl Dixon: Smells good.

Carol Peletier: Just so you know, I liked you first.

Daryl Dixon: Stop. You know, Rick brought in a lot of them, too.

Carol Peletier: Not recently. Give the stranger sanctuary, keep people fed, you're gonna have to learn to live with the love.

Patrick: [to Daryl] Uh, Mr. Dixon? I just want to say thank you for bringing that deer back yesterday. It was a real treat, sir. And I'd be honored to shake your hand. [Daryl licks his fingers then shakes Patrick's hand]

Infected [4.02][edit]

Rick Grimes: Wasn't much use without my gun.

Daryl Dixon: No, you were. All this time you've taking off, you earned it. We wouldn't be here without you.

Rick Grimes: It was all of us.

Daryl Dixon: No, it was you first. You gonna help us figure this out?

Rick Grimes: I screwed up too many times. Those calls you gotta make, I start down that road... I almost lost my boy - who he was. Whatever else this place needs, I'm here for it.

Daryl Dixon: Like I said, you earned it. But for what it's worth, you see mistakes. I see when the shit hits, you're standing there with a shovel.

Isolation [4.03][edit]

Daryl Dixon: I'm gonna take a group out. Best not waste any more time.

Michonne: I'm in.

Hershel Greene: You've haven't been exposed. Daryl has. You get in the car with him...

Michonne: He's already given me fleas.

Indifference [4.04][edit]

Daryl Dixon: Those douchebags in the vines took themselves out, holding hands, kumbaya-style.

Bob Stookey: They wanted to go out together same as they lived. That makes them douchebags?

Daryl Dixon: It does if they could have gotten out.

Internment [4.05][edit]

Hershel Greene: Some council meeting, huh?

Sasha: We're two members short.

Hershel Greene: I think we should make some new rules before they get back. I hereby declare we have spaghetti Tuesdays every Wednesday. First we have to find some spaghetti.

Tyreese: How's Glenn doing?

Hershel Greene: He made it through the night. He's breathing on his own now. Maggie and Bob are with him. He seems stable enough for me to get some air.

Daryl Dixon: He's a tough son of a bitch.

Hershel Greene: He is.

Daryl Dixon: You're a tough son of a bitch.

Hershel Greene: I am.

Live Bait [4.06][edit]

Megan Chambler: [Holding up a pawn] What's this one called?

The Governor: That's a pawn. They're your soldiers.

Megan Chambler: Do they die?

The Governor: Sometimes.

Megan Chambler: Do you lose if they die?

The Governor: [Glances in the bedroom] No, not necessarily. You can lose a lot of soldiers but still win the game.

[Megan holds up the king]

The Governor: That's the king. That's the guy you want to capture.

[Megan goes to the kitchen counter, returns with a Sharpie]

The Governor: What're you doing?

Megan Chambler: You'll see.

[Megan uses Sharpie on the king pieces, then holds up the king with eye patch markings]

Megan Chambler: Looks like you.

The Governor: Yeah.

[Phillip chuckles, admires the king piece]

The Governor: Come on, let's play.

The Governor: [Setting up chess pieces] See, these are pawns...

Dead Weight [4.07][edit]

The Governor: You can't think forever. Sooner or later, you've got to make a move.

Megan Chambler: You never let me win anyway.

The Governor: Well, that wouldn't be winning. That's what my daddy used to say. He used to beat me at chess, too. Heck, he used to beat me at everything.

Megan Chambler: Was your dad mean?

The Governor: Sometimes.

Megan Chambler: Were you bad?

The Governor: Sometimes.

Pete Dolgen: Man, what happened here? I mean, what the hell is going on in this cabin? Were they storing those biters?

Caesar Martinez: They were his wife and kid, man.

Pete Dolgen: No, they were biters. What about those heads?

Caesar Martinez: Belonged to the guys who did the wrong thing to the wrong man.

The Governor: Probably best not think too much about it.

Mitch Dolgen: Better listen to One Eye Bri, Pete. I can never tell if he's winking or blinking. But you know how to regulate. Don't you, Bri? He was always like this, Martinez?

Caesar Martinez: Oh, yeah. Ice in the veins. You should have seen him back in the day.

Mitch Dolgen: End of the world don't mean shit when you got a tank.

Pete Dolgen: I was Army, too. Stationed out of Fort Benning. Stayed for a while after it all started.

Mitch Dolgen: That's my Pete. He's too loyal to bounce.

The Governor: I remember the first smoke I ever had. Me and my brother huddled in the garage puffing on one of my dad's Lucky Strikes. He must have smelled the smoke, because he came barging in looking to beat up on us. But my brother got between us. Said he stole them. Wasn't true. It was me. But that was my brother. Hero. He got two black eyes and a broken rib for that. And I got beat anyway.

Too Far Gone [4.08][edit]

Glenn Rhee: I could use a vacation. Get away. Just for a weekend.

Maggie Greene: Yeah.

Glenn Rhee: You know, our anniversary is coming up.

Maggie Greene: It is?

Glenn Rhee: One of these days.

Maggie Greene: You've ever been to Amicalola Falls? Tallest waterfalls in Georgia.

Glenn Rhee: Mm-mmm.

Maggie Greene: My Dad took me there when I was little. When we were up there, all the way at the top looking down, I felt like I was flying.

Glenn Rhee: I'll go load up the station wagon.

Hershel Greene: If you understand what it's like to have a daughter, then how can you threaten to kill someone else's?

The Governor: Because they aren't mine.

The Governor: Rick! Come down here. We need to talk.

Rick Grimes: It's not up to me. There's a council now. They run this place.

The Governor: Is Hershel on the council? What about Michonne? She on the council, too?

Rick Grimes: I don't make decisions anymore.

The Governor: You're making the decisions today, Rick. Come down here. Let's have that talk.

Rick Grimes: [points to Tara] You. You in the ponytails. Is this what you want? Is this what any one of you want?

Mitch Dolgen: What we want is what you got. Period. Time for you to leave, asshole.

Rick Grimes: Look, I fought him before. And after, we took in his old friends. They've become leaders in what we have here. Now you put down your weapons, walk through those gates you're one of us. We let go of all of it, and nobody dies. Everyone who's alive right now. Everyone who's made it this far. We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. But we can still come back. We're not too far gone. We get to come back. I know we all can change.

[The Governor looks at Michonne's sword, and there is a tense pause]

The Governor: [quietly] Liar.

[decapitates Hershel]

Rick Grimes: NO! [draws his revolver & fires at the Governor]

The Governor: Go through the fences. Get in your cars, get your guns. We go in, kill them all!

Rick Grimes: Don't look back, Carl. Just keep walking.

After [4.09][edit]

Carl Grimes: I tied the door shut.

Rick Grimes: We don't need to take any chances.

Carl Grimes: You don't think it'll hold?

Rick Grimes: Carl.

Carl Grimes: It's a strong knot. Clove hitch. Shane taught me. Remember him?

Rick Grimes: Yeah, I remember him. I remember him every day.

Inmates [4.10][edit]

Beth Greene: [writing in her diary] Hey. I know it's been a while. I'm gonna be honest, I forgot about you. After the farm, we were always moving. But something happened. Something good. Finally. We found a prison. Daddy thinks that we can make it into a home. He says we can grow crops in the field, find pigs and chickens, stop running, stop scavenging. Lori's baby is just about due. She'll need a safe place when it comes. The rest of us, we just need a safe place to be. I woke up in my own bed yesterday. My own bed in my own room. But I've been keeping my backpack. Keeping my gun close. I've been afraid to get my hopes up thinking we can actually stay here. The thing is, I've been starting to get afraid that it's easier just to be afraid. But this morning Daddy said something. If you don't have hope, what's the point of living? So I unpacked my bag and I found you. So I'm gonna start writing in you again. And I'm gonna write this down now because you should write down wishes to make them come true. We can live here. We can live here for the rest of our lives.

Tara Chambler: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Brian, that man, told us you were bad people. I know it's not true. I can see it's not, so what we did, what I did I mean, I'm a piece of shit. Why would you want my help?

Glenn Rhee: I don't want it, I need it. I have to find Maggie.

Tara Chambler: Who's Maggie?

Glenn Rhee: She's my wife.

Tara Chambler: You guys got separated?

Glenn Rhee: I was on the bus and then I got off to help and she didn't see me.

Tara Chambler: How do you know if she made it?

Glenn Rhee: I don't know. But Hershel, Maggie's father, was a great man. And he told me all I had to do was believe, and that's what I'm gonna do.

Claimed [4.11][edit]

Abraham Ford: Son of a dick.

Still [4.12][edit]

Beth Greene: So you want to spend the rest of our lives staring into a fire and eating mud snakes? Screw that.

Beth Greene: [to Daryl] I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl. I'm not Michonne. I'm not Carol. I'm not Maggie. I've survived and you don't get it 'cause I'm not like you or them. But I made it and you don't get to treat me like crap just because you're afraid.

Beth Greene: You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone, Daryl Dixon.

Daryl Dixon: Merle had this dealer. This janky little white guy. A tweaker. One day we were over at his house watching TV. Wasn't even noon yet and we were all wasted. Merle was high. We were watching this show and Merle was talking all this dumb stuff about it. And he wouldn't let up. Merle never could. Turns out it was the tweaker's kid's favorite show. And he never sees his kids, so he felt guilty about it or something. So he punches Merle in the face. So I started hitting the tweaker like, hard. As hard as I can. Then he pulls a gun, sticks it right here. He says, "I'm gonna kill you, bitch." So Merle pulls his gun on him. Everyone's yelling. I'm yelling. I thought I was dead. Over a dumb cartoon about a talking dog. The tweaker punched me in the gut. I puked. They both started laughing and forgot all about it.

Alone [4.13][edit]

Joe: [to Daryl] A bowman. I respect that. See a man with a rifle, he could have been some kind of photographer or a soccer coach back in the day. But a bowman's a bowman through and through.

Joe: Why hurt yourself when you can hurt other people?

The Grove [4.14][edit]

Lizzie Samuels: Did you have kids?

Carol Peletier: I did. A kid. A daughter.

Lizzie Samuels: What was she like?

Carol Peletier: She was sweet. She didn't have a mean bone in her body.

Lizzie Samuels: Is that why she isn't here now?

Mika Samuels: When we were giving them names, we were just pretending things weren't bad. Things are bad. Those things, they're bad. They are. We can't pretend anymore.

Lizzie Samuels: I'm not pretending. You were.

Tyreese: The whole world is haunted now.

Us [4.15][edit]

Eugene Porter: I'm well aware it sounds bananas. But looking at the fossil record, knowing what I know about this infection, you cannot say for certain it isn't what killed off the dinosaurs. Now, do I believe that's what happened? No. But it's enjoyable as hell to think about an undead ankylosaur going after a diplodocus. That there is a video game worth a pre-order.

Joe: See, going it alone, that ain't an option nowadays. Still, it is survival of the fittest. That's a paradox right there. So I laid out some rules of the road to keep things from going Darwin every couple hours. Keep our merry band together and stress-free. All you got to do is claim. That's how you mark your territory, your prey, your bed at night. One word, claimed.

Daryl Dixon: There ain't no us.

Joe: You leaving right now? No? Then it sure seems like there's an a cat person, Daryl? I am. Loved 'em since I was three years old. Vicious creatures. Anyway, I'll tell you, and this is true, ain't nothing sadder than an outdoor cat that thinks he's an indoor cat.

Joe: [with regard to Len] Well teach him a lesson, gents. He's a lying sack of shit. I'm sick of it. Teach him all the way.

Joe: Seems to me like things are finally starting to fall together. At least for guys like us.

A [4.16][edit]

Joe: [to Rick] Look, we can settle this. We're reasonable men. First, we're gonna beat Daryl to death. Then we'll have the girl. Then the boy. Then I'm gonna shoot you and then we'll be square.

Joe: [to Rick] What the hell are you gonna do now, sport?

[Rick lunges forward and rips open Joe's throat with his teeth, killing him]

Dan: [holds Carl at knifepoint] I'll kill him!

Michonne: [to Dan while aiming a revolver at him] Let the boy go.

Rick Grimes: [to Michonne as he prepares to gut Carl's captor] He's MINE.

Michonne: We went to a refugee camp. Andre and my boyfriend Mike, that was Andre's father, and our friend Terry. At the camp, it just got worse and worse. People were leaving. People giving up. But I didn't. I was coming back from a run. I saw the fences were down. I heard the moans. It was over. And Mike and Terry, they were high when it happened. They were bit. Could have stopped it. Could have killed them. But I let them turn. I made it so they couldn't bite, couldn't scratch. I tied chains around their necks. It was insane. It was sick. It felt like what I deserved, dragging them around so that I would always know. I found out that they kept me safe. They hid me. The walkers didn't see me anymore. I was just another monster.

Rick Grimes: They're gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out...

Abraham Ford: Find out what?

Rick Grimes: They're screwin' with the wrong people.

Season 5 (2014–2015)[edit]

No Sanctuary [5.01][edit]

Alex: We should never have put up the signs. What the hell did we think was gonna happen? We brought them here.

Gareth: We were trying to do something good. We were being human beings.

Alex: What are we now, Gareth?

Rick Grimes: [to Gareth] There's a compound bow and a machete with a red handle. That's what I'm gonna use to kill you.

Martin: I don't have any friends. I mean, I know people. They're just assholes I stay alive with. I don't have any friends. The other one your friend? The woman? I used to have them. Used to watch football on Sundays. Went to church. I know I did. But I can't picture it anymore. It's funny how you don't even notice the time go by. Horrible shit just stacks up day after day. You get used to it.

Tyreese Williams: I haven't gotten used to it.

Martin: Of course you haven't. You're the kind of guy who saves babies. It's kind of like saving an anchor when you're stuck without a boat in the middle of the ocean. Been behind some kind of walls, right? You're still around, but you haven't had to get your hands dirty. I can tell. See, you're a good guy.

Mary: The signs they were real. It was a sanctuary. People came and took this place.

Carol Peletier: Just tell me where-

Mary: - And they raped and they killed and they laughed over weeks. But we got out and we fought and we got it back. And we heard the message: you're the butcher or you're the cattle.

Eugene Porter: I'm not fleet of foot. I sure as hell can't take a dead one down with sharp buttons and hella confidence.

Strangers [5.02][edit]

Gabriel Stokes: I have no weapons of any kind. The word of God is the only protection I need.

Gabriel Stokes: I'm a sinner. I sin almost every day. But those sins, I confess them to God, not strangers.

Abraham Ford: I'd like to propose a toast. I look around this room and I see survivors. Each and every one of you has earned that title. To the survivors!

[everybody toasts]

Abraham Ford: Is that all you want to be? Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat? 'Cause you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender. Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have this world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip.

Abraham Ford: Come with us. Save the world for that little one. Save it for yourselves. Save it for the people out there who don't got nothing left to do except survive.

Gareth: [to Bob] Good news is you're not dead yet. That's a relief, right? But try not to read too much into the word 'yet' there. It'll just drive you crazy, Bob. I want to explain myself a little. You see, we didn't want to hurt you before. We didn't want to pull you away from your group or scare you. These aren't things that we want to do. They're things we got to do. You and your people took away our home. That's fair play. Now we're out here like everybody else trying to survive. And in order to do that, we have to hunt. Didn't start that way, eating people. It evolved into that. We evolved. We had to. And now we've devolved...into hunters. I told you, I said it. Can't go back, Bob. I just hope you understand that nothing happening to you now is personal. Yeah, you put us in this situation and it is almost kind of a cosmic justice for it to be you, but we would have done this to anybody. We will. But at the end of the day, no matter how much we hate all this ugly business...

[Bob looks down to see his leg has been amputated[

Gareth: ...a man's got to eat. [taking a bite out of a piece of meat] If it makes you feel any better, you taste much better than we thought you would.

Four Walls and a Roof [5.03][edit]

Bob Stookey: [to Gareth and the Hunters] I've been bitten, you stupid pricks! I'm tainted meat!

[Rick has Gareth at his mercy]

Gareth: We can walk away, and we will never cross paths again! I promise you!

Rick Grimes: But you'll cross someone's path. You'd do this to anyone, right? Besides, I already made you a promise.

Gareth: No!

[Rick kills Gareth with his machete]

Gabriel Stokes: This is the Lord's house!

Maggie Greene: No. It's just four walls and a roof.

Bob Stookey: Nightmares end. They shouldn't end who you are. And that is just this dead man's opinion.

[Rick reads the map to Washington DC that Abraham has left for him & his group]

Abraham Ford: Sorry I was an asshole. Come to Washington. The New World's gonna need Rick Grimes.

Slabtown [5.04][edit]

Noah: [to Beth] See, they think I'm scrawny. They think I'm weak. But they don't know shit about me. About what I am. About what you are.

Joan: I guess it's easy to make a deal with the devil when you're not the one paying the price.

Steven Edwards: When everything started, Dawn reported to a guy named Hanson. They had orders to clear the hospital and move everyone to Butler Park. It was close to midnight when we heard the jets, the bombs. The screams. I was on the third floor. Dawn and Hanson's teams were doing a final sweep. And we knew it was bad. Just didn't know how bad till we came up here. The city had fallen. And everyone we evacuated...they were just...gone.

Dawn Lerner: A good man's mistakes almost ended everything for us, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let that happen again. Every sacrifice we make needs to be for the greater good. The second it isn't, the second we lose sight of that, it's all over.

Dawn Lerner: Who the hell do you think you are?

Beth Greene: He attacked me. Just like he attacked Joan. Just like you let him. You know what's happening here and you let it happen. You're letting it happen!

Dawn Lerner: So that we make it!

Beth Greene: No one's coming, Dawn! No one's coming. We're all gonna die and you let this happen for nothing.

Self Help [5.05][edit]

Eugene Porter: The smartest man I ever met happened to love my hair. My old boss, T. Brooks Ellis, the director of the Human Genome Project. He said my hair made me look like, and I quote, "a fun guy," which I am. I just ain't Samson.

Abraham Ford: Gotten to the point where everyone alive is strong now. We have to be. You're either strong and they can help you so you help them or you're strong and they can kill ya. So you gotta kill them. You gotta kill them and...[sighs] I want to say it's never easy. That's not the truth. It's the easiest thing in the world now.

Eugene Porter: [to Tara] I appreciate the positive affirmations and looking the other way on the perversion, but I know empirically and definitively I cannot survive on my own.

Tara Chambler: [to Eugene] Welcome to the human race, asshole.

Maggie Greene: I know why you have the haircut.

Eugene Porter: I told you, it's 'cause I like it.

Maggie Greene: I believe that. I like it, too. I think you like it for a reason. You're not the person people think you are. You want 'em to know who you are.

Eugene Porter: Not following you.

Maggie Greene: If you didn't have that mullet, you'd probably be like everybody else in the labs. But you're not like everybody else. I think a lot of people in your position probably woulda given up, but you didn't.

Eugene Porter: There were people- a lot of them along the way- they made sure I didn't give up. It wasn't me remotely.

Maggie Greene: It was. You started this thing. And you're not like Samson. He was kind of a mess.

Eugene Porter: Not following you.

Maggie Greene: Well, his story goes that one day when a lion attacked him, God gave him strength and he tore it apart. Then he goes back one day, he's by himself, and he sees that bees have made a hive in the carcass. So later he tells this riddle to people. "Out of the eater, something to eat. Out of the strong, something sweet." And I always thought, "How the hell are people supposed to know the answer when it's just about his own life? When the only place the answer is, is in his own head?"

Consumed [5.06][edit]

Carol Peletier: You said we get to start over.

Daryl Dixon: Yeah.

Carol Peletier: Did you?

Daryl Dixon: I'm tryin'. Why don't you say what's really on your mind?

Carol Peletier: I don't think we get to save people anymore.

Daryl Dixon: Then why are you here?

Carol Peletier: I'm tryin'.

Daryl Dixon: Some days, I don't know what the hell to think.

Carol Peletier: I don't know if I believe in God anymore or heaven, but if I'm going to hell, I'm making damn sure I'm holding it off as long as I can.

Noah: We can get her back. We can get Beth back.

Daryl Dixon: What's it gonna take?

Noah: A lot. They got guns, people.

Daryl Dixon: So do we.

Crossed [5.07][edit]

Coda [5.08][edit]

What Happened and What's Going On [5.09][edit]

Tyreese Williams: My dad always told Sasha and me that it was our duty as citizens of the world to keep up with the news. When I was little and I was in his car, there were always those stories on the radio. Something happens 1,000 miles away or down the block. Some kind of horror I couldn't even wrap my head around. But he didn't change the channel. He didn't turn it off. He just kept listening. To face it. Keeping your eyes open. My dad always called that paying the high cost of living.

Martin Hallucination: I tried to tell you. I tried to tell you, man. It was gonna be you. You're the kind of guy who saves babies. You think Gareth would have been able to follow you guys if you'd have just put a bullet in my brain? Cut me up like your sister did? Oh, whoa, whoa. Don't get up. If I hadn't told them that you were there, maybe Gareth wouldn't have gone after you. Maybe they wouldn't be dead. Maybe Bob wouldn't be dead. Maybe him being alive, maybe something about that would have changed things with Beth. Domino shit. Maybe not. Maybe you wouldn't be bit right now.

Bob Stookey Hallucination: Man, that is bullshit. I got bit at the food bank. It went the way it had to, the way it was always going to. Just like this.

The Governor Hallucination: You told me you'd earn your keep. You had no idea what you were talking about, did you? Did you?! Your eyes were open, but you didn't want to see. Even though I made you see it. I showed you. But did you adapt? Did you change? No. That you would sit there in front of a woman who killed someone you loved and you would forgive her. That's all there is. This is all there is. This is it.

Tyreese Williams: I didn't know who I was talking to. I said I would do what I had to to earn my keep, but I didn't know you. But I know- I know who I am. I know what happened and what's going on. I know. You didn't show me shit. You, you're dead. Everything that you were is dead. And it's- it's not over. I forgave her because it's not over. It's not over. It's- it's not over. I didn't turn away. I kept listening to the news so I could do what I could to help! I'm not giving up. You hear me? I'm not giving up! People like me- people like me, they can live. Ain't nobody got to die today.

Them [5.10][edit]

Gabriel Stokes: If you ever want to talk about your father or about Beth -

Maggie Greene: Please, stop.

Gabriel Stokes: Whenever you're ready, I'm here.

Maggie Greene: You never even met them.

Gabriel Stokes: I know you're in pain.

Maggie Greene: You don't know shit. You had a job. You were there to save your flock, right? But you didn't. You hid. Don't act like that didn't happen.

Abraham Ford: Plan just got dicked!

Glenn Rhee: Hey, we can make it together. But we can only make it together.

Rick Grimes: When I was a kid I asked my grandpa once if he ever killed any Germans in the war. He wouldn't answer. He said that was grown-up stuff, so so I asked if the Germans ever tried to kill him. But he got real quiet. He said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself, "Rest in peace. Now get up and go to war." And then after a few years of pretending he was dead he made it out alive. That's the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do and then we get to live. But no matter what we find in DC, I know we'll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead.

The Distance [5.11][edit]

Remember [5.12][edit]

Rick Grimes: You should keep your gates closed.

Deanna Monroe: Why?

Rick Grimes: Because it's all about survival now. At any cost. People out there are always looking for an angle. Looking to play on your weakness. They measure you by what they can take from you. By how they can use you to live. So bringing people into a place like this now-

Deanna Monroe: Are you telling me not to bring your people in? Are you already looking after this place? Aaron says I can trust you.

Rick Grimes: Aaron doesn't know me. I've killed people. I don't even know how many by now. But I know why they're all dead. They're dead so my family, all those people out there, can be alive. So I could be alive for them.

Deanna Monroe: Sounds like I'd want to be part of your family.

Carol Peletier: I'm gonna wash that vest. We need to keep up appearances, even you.

Daryl Dixon: Hey, I ain't starting now.

Carol Peletier: I'm gonna hose you down in your sleep.

Daryl Dixon: You look ridiculous.

Aiden Monroe: You three need new gigs. You're not ready for runs yet.

Glenn Rhee: Yeah, pretty sure you got that backwards.

Rick Grimes: We won't get weak. That's not in us anymore. We'll make it work. And if they can't make it then we'll just take this place.

Forget [5.13][edit]

Daryl Dixon: [to Buttons the horse] Yeah, you used to be somebody's, huh? Now you're just yours.

Aaron: I know you're feeling like an outsider. It's not your fault, you know. Eric and I, we're still looked at as outsiders in a lot of ways. We've heard our fair share of well-meaning, but hilariously offensive things from some otherwise really nice men and women. People are people. The more afraid they get, the more stupid they get. Fear shrinks the brain. They're scared of you and me for different reasons. They're less scared of me because they know me. It's less and less every day. So let them get to know you. You should go to Deanna's party tonight.

Daryl Dixon: I got nothing to prove. I met a lot of bad people out here doing a lot of bad shit. They weren't afraid of nothing.

Aaron: Yeah, they were.

Jessie Anderson: You know, everyone's been through it somehow. Everyone.

Rick Grimes: And a lot of things disappeared.

Jessie Anderson: But a lot of bullshit went with it. They're all from totally different backgrounds, different places. They never would have even met. And now they're part of each other's lives. They are each other's lives. I'm just saying, we all lost things, but we got something back. It isn't enough, but it's something.

Carol Peletier: You can never tell anyone, especially your mom. Because if you do one morning you'll wake up and you won't be in your bed.

Sam Anderson: Where will I be?

Carol Peletier: You'll be outside the walls far, far away tied to a tree. And you'll scream and scream because you'll be so afraid. No one will come to help because no one will hear you. Well, something will hear you. The monsters will come. The ones out there. And you won't be able to run away when they come for you. And they will tear you apart and eat you up all while you're still alive. All while you can still feel it. And then afterwards, no one will ever know what happened to you. Or you can promise not to ever tell anyone what you saw here and then nothing will happen. And you'll get cookies. Lots of cookies.

Spend [5.14][edit]

Reg Monroe: How is it that you called this extremely early morning meeting, yet I'm the one bringing breakfast?

Noah: 'Cause you're a good guy.

Reg Monroe: The evidence seems to go in that direction.

Rick Grimes: You ever heard about the broken window theory? Boils down to this- you keep the windows intact, you keep society intact.

Eugene Porter: So you're aware, I'm on record as stating that I should not be here. You well know that I'm not combat ready or even for that matter combat inclined.

Eugene Porter: I got you all to DC, which, in this man's opinion, is damn near nirvana by current standards.

Tara Chambler: Except you didn't get us here. We got you here.

Eugene Porter: But were it not for me and my mention of this city's potential for home and hearth, not a one of you would have had the vision to come here, let alone the cojones to travail such a fraught and punishing pilgrimage. And that, sister, is a fact. That's as cold and hard as they come.

Tara Chambler: God, you're really that much of a coward?

Eugene Porter: Yes, I am. I told you I was.

Try [5.15][edit]

Glenn Rhee: Nicholas, don't talk, just listen. Those four people you lost on that run, that's on you. And Noah, that's on you, too. Those five lives, you have to carry that. People like you are supposed to be dead, but these walls went up just in time, so you're not. You don't go outside those walls anymore. Not by yourself, not with anyone else. And that's how you're gonna survive.

Nicholas: Who the hell do you think you are?

Glenn Rhee: I'm someone who knows who you are. I know what you did. And it's not gonna happen again.

Enid: It's their world. We're just living in it.

Rick Grimes: You still don't get it. None of you do! We know what needs to be done and we do it. We're the ones who live. You, you just sit and plan and hesitate. You pretend like you know when you don't. You wish things weren't what they are. Well, you want to live? You want this place to stay standing? Your way of doing things is done. Things don't get better because you- you want them to. Starting right now, we have to live in the real world. We have to control who lives here.

Deanna Monroe: That's never been more clear to me than it is right now.

Rick Grimes: Me? Me? You- You mean- you mean me? Your way is gonna destroy this place. It's gonna get people killed. It's already gotten people killed. And I'm not gonna stand by and just let it happen. If you don't fight, you die. I'm not gonna stand by-

[Michonne knocks Rick out]

Conquer [5.16][edit]

Morgan Jones: What's the W for?

W Man: You know, the first settlers here, they put bounties on wolves' heads. Brought the natives into it. Made them hunt them. Didn't take them too long to kill them all. They're back now. Thoughts?

Morgan Jones: Everything gets a return.

Reg Monroe: The cavemen, they were all nomads. And they all died. Then we evolved into this and we lived. Civilization starts when we stop running. When we live together. When we stop sending people away from the world and from each other.

Rick Grimes: I don't want to lie anymore.

Carol Peletier: You said you don't want to take this place. And you don't want to lie? Oh, sunshine, you don't get both.

Carol Peletier: [to Pete] I could kill you right now. I could. I will. And then who would believe I did it because I didn't like you? No one. They'd believe you tried to hurt me. Definitely believe that. Come at me. No? Yeah? No. The way this has played out, you have a chance. You're here. Your wife's there. You're a small, weak nothing. And with the world how it is, you're even weaker. Play your cards right, maybe you don't have to die. And I want my dish back clean when you're done.

Daryl Dixon: Why?

Morgan Jones: Why? Because all life is precious, Daryl.

Season 6 (2015–2015)[edit]

First Time Again [6.01][edit]

Rick Grimes: I know this sounds insane, but this is an insane world. We have to come for them before they come for us, it's that simple.

Eugene Porter: [to Heath] I fully respect the hair game.

Heath: This was supposed to be a dress rehearsal.

Glenn Rhee: I'm supposed to be delivering pizzas, man.

Maggie Greene: [to Tara] Glenn saves people. Even people like that. I couldn't accept it either. But then I thought about you. How we were on different sides of that fence on the worst day of my life. And now you're one of the most important people in the world to me. Things can get better. We can make them better.

Abraham Ford: [to Sasha] Well, look at me. You didn't see Reg the night he got it. That was a mess. And Pete. His face just blowing up like Pompeii right when we were cheek to cheek. I still think I got some of his brains in my ear.

Morgan Jones: You with that man Carter, in the armory- that's you. You're still the same man I met in King County. The one that came back and told me it wasn't over. That was you. Same you that's right in front of me right now.

Rick Grimes: I wanted to kill him. So it would be easier. So I wouldn't have to worry about how he could screw up or what stupid thing he'd do next because that's who he is. Just somebody who shouldn't be alive now. I wanted to kill him. But all that hit me and I realized I didn't have to do it. He doesn't get it. Somebody like that they're gonna die no matter what.

JSS [6.02][edit]

Carol Peletier: [to Sam] Your dad used to hit you and then he got himself killed. It happened. Now it's done. You live with it or it eats you up. Go home.

Denise Cloyd: Listen, I'm a little nervous here. I'm a psychiatrist. I went to med school. I was even gonna be a surgeon, but after the panic attacks, I got really interested in psychology. And I think I'm really trying to lower expectations here.

Morgan Jones: My people have guns. Yours don't. They may be aiming rifles at you right now. Eyes at the scopes. Fingers on the trigger. Boom. It's gonna happen any second now unless you get the hell out of here and you don't ever come back. You keep choosing this life, you will die.

Wolf: We didn't choose.

Eugene Porter[to Denise]: You're a doctor.

Denise Cloyd: Are you?

Pilot [1.01][edit]

Walter: My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. To all law enforcement entitles, this is not an admission of guilt. I am speaking to my family now. Skyler, you are the love of my life. I hope you know that. Walter Junior, you're my big man. There are...there are going to be some things that you'll come to learn about me in the next few days. I just want you to know that no-no matter how it may look, I only had you in my heart. Goodbye.

Walt Jr.: So, how's it feel to be old?

Walter: How does it feel to be a smart ass?

Jesse: Why are you here?

Walter: I was curious. Honestly, I never expected you to amount to much, but methamphetamine? I didn't picture that. There's a lot of money in it, huh?

Jesse: I don't know what you're talking about.

Walter No?

Jesse: Not a clue.

Walter: "Cap'n Cook?" That's not you? Like I said, no one is looking for you.

Jesse: Look, I don't know what you think you're doing here, Mr. White. I mean, if you're planning on giving me some bullshit about getting right with Jesus by turning myself in...

Walter: Not really.

Jesse: High school was a long time ago. You ain't Welcome Back, Kotter, so step off. No speeches.

Walter: Short speech. You lost your partner today. What's his name – Emilio? Emilio is going to prison. The DEA took all your money, your lab. You got nothing. Square one. But you know the business. And I know the chemistry. I'm thinking...maybe you and I could partner up.

Jesse: You, uh...you want to cook crystal meth? You. You and, uh...and me?

Walter: That's right. Either that...or I turn you in.

Walter: Did you learn nothing from my chemistry class?

Jesse: No. You flunked me, remember? You prick! Now let me tell you something else. This ain't chemistry – this is art. Cooking is art. And the shit I cook is the bomb, so don't be telling me.

Walter: The shit you cook is shit. I saw your set-up. Ridiculous. You and I will not make garbage. We will produce a chemically pure and stable product that performs as advertised. No adulterants. No baby formula. No chili powder.

Jesse: No, no, chili P is my signature!

Walter: Not anymore.

Jesse: Man, some straight like you, giant stick up his ass, all of a sudden at age what, sixty, he's just gonna break bad?

Walter: I'm fifty.

Jesse: It's weird is all, okay? It doesn't compute. Listen, if you've gone crazy or something I mean, if you've gone crazy or depressed, I'm just saying that's something I need to know about. Okay? I mean, that affects me.

Walter: I am awake.

Cat's in the Bag [1.02][edit]

Walter: After we finish cleaning up this mess, we will go our separate ways. Our paths will never cross and we will tell this to no one. Understood?

Jesse: Oh what, I can talk now? [pause] Fine! That goes double for me!

[Walter and Jesse hear a moan. They turn around and notice Krazy-8 is still barely alive]

Jesse: Oh shit.

Walter: What is his reputation for violence?

Jesse: Well, um, he did try to kill us both yesterday, so there's that.

Jesse: Mr. White? Are you smoking weed? Oh my God! Wait a minute, is that my weed? What the hell, man? Make yourself at home, why don't you?

Walter: So what did you end up buying?

Jesse: Nothing. No store in town sells a plastic bin big enough for a body.

Walter: I don't suppose you could buy two bins... [makes a sawing motion] Legs in one, torso in the other?

Jesse: God. I don't suppose you could kiss my ass?

Skyler: Who's this Jesse Pinkman to you?

Walter: He...sells me pot.

Skyler: He sells you pot?

Walter: Marijuana, yeah. Not a lot. I mean, I don't know. I kind of like it.

Skyler: Are you out of your mind? What are you, like sixteen years old? Your brother-in-law is a DEA agent! What is wrong with you?

Walter: Skyler, I just...haven't quite been myself lately.

Skyler: Yeah, no shit. Thanks for noticing.

Walter: I haven't been myself lately, but I love you. Nothing about that has changed, nothing ever will. So right now, what I need is for you to climb down out of my ass. Can you do that? Will you do that for me, honey? Will you please, just once, get off my ass, you know? I'd appreciate it, I really would.

Jesse: You got a brother in the goddamned DEA?!

Walt: What?

Jesse: You said you were just doing some ride-along! Yes or no, do you have a brother in the DEA?

Walt: Brother-in-law.

Jesse: Oh, now there's a load off my mind.

Walt: Where did you hear that?

Jesse: Your freaking wife told me when she was here all up on my shit! Yeah, that's right. She almost caught me moving Emilio! Good job wearing the pants in the family! And why did you go telling her I was selling you weed?

Walt: Because somehow it seemed preferable to admitting that I cook crystal meth and killed a man.

...And the Bag's in the River [1.03][edit]

Jesse: I didn't ask for any of this! How am I supposed to live here now, huh? My whole house smells like toe cheese and dry cleaning.

Walter: Because you didn't follow my instructions!

Jesse: Oh well, heil Hitler, bitch! And let me tell you something else. We flipped a coin, okay? You and me. You and me! Coin flip is sacred! Your job is waiting for you in that basement, as per the coin!

Walter Jr.: So why are you telling me this?

Hank: 'Cause I love you, you little bastard.

Krazy-8: Walter, you getting to know me is not gonna make it any easier for you to kill me. Not that I mind, you understand.

Walter: You know, you keep telling me that I don't have it in me. Well, maybe, maybe not. I sure as hell am looking for any reason not to. I mean, any good reason at all. Sell me. Tell me what it is.

Krazy-8: I guess I'd start off by promising that if you let me go, I won't come after you. That you'd be safe. I guess I'd say what happened between us never happened. And what's best for both parties is we forget all about it. But you know that anybody in my situation would make promises like that, and though in my case they happen to be true, you'd never know for sure. So what else can I tell you?

Walter: I don't know. But you gotta convince me and you're going nowhere until you do.

[Walter approaches Krazy-8, now aware he is hiding a shattered plate piece to stab Walter once released]

Krazy-8: You're doing the right thing, Walter.

Walter: Do you want to... [motions for Krazy-8 to turn around so he can unlock the chain. Krazy-8 turns around] So you're not angry?

Krazy-8: How do you mean? Angry? No. Live and let live, man.

Walter: That's very understanding.

Krazy-8: Whatever, man. I just want to go home.

Walter: Me too.

Krazy-8: Unlock me, Walter.

Walter: The moment I do, are you gonna stick me with that broken piece of plate?

[Walter pulls back on the lock, choking Krazy-8. Krazy-8 attempts to swing the plate piece behind him but can only stab Walter's leg a few times. Krazy-8 slowly dies]

Walter: I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...

[in a flashback to Walter's younger days]

Walter: I don't know. Just...doesn't it seem like...something's missing?

Gretchen: What about the soul?

Walter: The soul? There's nothing but chemistry here.

Cancer Man [1.04][edit]

Hank: So be on notice. We got new players in town. We don't know who they are, where they come from, but they possess an extremely high skill-set. Me personally? I'm thinking Albuquerque just might have a new kingpin.

Walter: I have cancer. Lung cancer. It's bad.

[Walter sees Jesse sneak into his backyard]

Walter: You can't be serious. What the hell are you doing here?

Jesse: Yo, I waited 'til the ball buster left. I mean, no offense.

Walter: Who sent you? You wearing a wire? You setting me up?

Jesse: A wire? You want a wire? I got a wire. [grabs crotch] Speak into the mic, bitch! What the hell's wrong with you? A wire.

Walter: So who did you tell about–

Jesse: Nobody! What are you, nuts?

Walter: Then why are you here?

Jesse: I don't know. To like...touch base.

Walter: Touch base?

Jesse: Yeah, you know...what you call...a debrief? Maybe we could like...I thought we could debrief.

Walter: Wow, that's...that's what you think we need, to debrief?

Jesse: Yeah, after what happened, it just seems like the thing to do. Kind of, you know, talk about it. We can't talk to anybody else. Anyway, that and I wanted to...I wanted to tell you how much everybody digs that meth we cooked.

Walter: Everybody digs...the meth we cooked.

Jesse: Seriously, I got dudes that would give their left nut for a little more.

Walter: Great.

Jesse: I'm just saying, if you ever...saw your way clear to...you know, you and I...cooking a little more.

Walter: Get the hell off my property.

Jesse: What? I'm just saying.

Walter: Go and don't come back. Now!

Jesse: Alright. You know what? [Jesse takes out a wad of cash] Four grand. Your share from selling that batch. That's why I'm here. Yeah, that's right. I didn't smoke it all. [Jesse tosses the money into Walter's pool and leaves]

Jesse: Right on, little bro! Making mad in-roads with the business community.

Skyler: Can I call them and tell them you'll start next week?

Walter: I just think that we need to...discuss it a little more, that's all.

Skyler: What is there to discuss? You're going to get the best treatment and he's the best.

Walter: Well, there's the money discussion. $90,000 out of pocket. Maybe more.

Skyler: There's a way, Walt. There's financing, there's installment plans. I could always go back to work. Walt, there's always a way.

Walter: Alright. Skyler, say that there is a way, and we spend all that money, and...am I supposed to leave you with all that debt? I just don't want emotions ruling us. Maybe treatment isn't the way to go.

Walter Jr.: Then why don't you just fucking die already? Just give up and die.

Gray Matter [1.05][edit]

Jesse: Yo, why would you want this lame-ass job anyway? I mean, no offense.

Badger: Because I'm on probation, yo. Gotta prove to the man I'm rehabilitated. [smokes a joint]

Walter: Well, back when Elliott and I were in grad school, we came up with the name. Schwartz: black. Walter White. So together, they became Gray Matter Technologies.

Farley: Cute, huh?

Man: So you run the company with Elliott?

Walter: Well, no. No, that's Gretchen and Elliott. I gravitated toward education.

Man: What university?

[Walter clears his throat and takes a drink]

Walter: Alright, I've got the Talking Pillow now. Okay? We all, in this room, love each other. We want what's best for each other and I know that. I am very thankful for that. But...what I want...what I want, what I need, is a choice.

Skyler: What does that...mean?

Walter: Sometimes I feel like I never actually make any of my own. Choices, I mean. My entire life, it just seems I never...you know, had a real say about any of it. Now this last one, cancer...all I have left is how I choose to approach this.

Skyler: Then make the right choice, Walt. You're not the only one it affects. What about your son? Don't you wanna see your daughter grow up? I just...

Walter: Of course I do. Skyler, you've read the statistics. These doctors...talking about surviving. One year, two years, like it's the only thing that matters. But what good is it, to just survive if I am too sick to work, to enjoy a meal, to make love? For what time I have left, I want to live in my own house. I want to sleep in my own bed. I don't wanna choke down 30 or 40 pills every single day, lose my hair, and lie around too tired to get up...and so nauseated that I can't even move my head. And you cleaning up after me? Me...some dead man, some artificially alive...just marking time? No. No. And that's how you would remember me. That's the worst part. So...that is my thought process, Skyler. I'm sorry. I just...I choose not to do it.

Jesse: Yo.

Walter: Wanna cook?

Crazy Handful of Nothin' [1.06][edit]

Walter: Let's get something straight. This – the chemistry – is my realm. I am in charge of the cooking. Out there on the street, you deal with that. As far as our customers go, I don't want to know anything about them. I don't need to see them. I don't want to hear from them. I want no interaction with them whatsoever. This operation is you and me, and I'm the silent partner. You got any issues with that?

Jesse: Whatever, man.

Walter: No matter what happens, no more bloodshed. No violence.

[cut to a brief flash forward of Walter, with a shaved head and bloody nose, walking away from a chaotic scene with a smoking building in the background. He is holding a bag with blood on it]

Jesse: When were you going to tell me?

Walter: Tell you what?

Jesse: Cancer. You got it, right?

Walter: How did you know?

Jesse: [pointing to Walter's chemo mark on his chest] My aunt had one of those...dots on her to target the radiation. What is it, in your lung? I'm your partner, man. You should have told me. That's not cool, okay? Not at all. What stage are you?

Walter: 3-A.

Jesse: Gone to your lymph nodes.

Walter: Your aunt...How bad was she when they caught it?

Jesse: Bad enough. She didn't last long.

Walter: How long?

Jesse: Seven months. I get it now. That's why you're doing all this. You want to make some cash for your people before you check out.

Walter: You got a problem with that?

Jesse: You tell me. You're the one that looks like you just crawled out of a microwave.

Walter: We have to move our production bulk wholesale now. How do we do that?

Jesse: What do you mean? To, like, a distributor?

Walter: Yes. Yes, that's what we need. We need a distributor now. Do you know anyone like that?

Jesse: Yeah. I mean, I used to until you killed him.

Walter Jr.: [upon seeing Walter's shaved head] Badass, dad.

[Walter enters Tuco's office, as he examines a sample of the pound of meth Walter brought with him]

Tuco: What's your name?

Walter: Heisenberg.

Tuco: Heisenberg. Okay, have a seat, Heisenberg.

Walter: I don't imagine I'll be here very long.

Tuco: No? Alright, be that way. It's your meeting. Why don't you start talking and tell me what you want?

Walter: $50,000.

Tuco: [laughs] Oh man! Fifty G's? How you figure that?

Walter: 35 for the pound of meth you stole and another 15 for my partner's pain and suffering.

Tuco: Partner? [puts a cigarette out on his tongue] Oh yeah, I remember that little bitch! So you must be daddy. Let me get this straight...I steal your dope, hmm? I... beat the piss out of your mule boy, and then you walk in here, and you bring me more meth? [laughs] That's a brilliant plan, ese. Brilliant.

Walter: You got one part of that wrong. [reaches out and picks up the crystal Tuco had examined] This... is not meth.

[Walter throws the piece to the floor. The impact causes a tremendous explosion which knocks everyone off their feet and blows out all the windows in Tuco's office. Walter grabs the bag in the midst of the smoke.]

Tuco: Are you nuts?!

Walter: [holding the bag threateningly over his head] You want to find out?

[Tuco's men get to their feet and draw their guns]

Tuco: No-Doze, Gonzo, calma! Calma. Calma. You got balls, I'll give you that. Alright...alright. I'll give you your money. [Tuco opens his safe and hands Walter a sack filled with $50,000] That crystal your partner brought me, it sold faster than $10 ass in TJ. What you say you bring me another pound next week?

Walter: Money up front.

Tuco: Alright. Money up front. Sometimes you got to rob to keep your riches, just as long as we got an understanding.

Walter: One pound is not going to cut it. You have to take two.

Tuco: Orale. [points to Walter's bag] Hey, what is that shit?

Walter: Fulminate of mercury. A little tweak of chemistry.

A No-Rough-Stuff-Type Deal [1.07][edit]

[Turned on by the danger of the meth investigation, Walter has sex with Skyler in their car]

Skyler: Where...did that come from? And why was it so damn good?

Walter: Because it was illegal.

[Walter and Jesse are meeting Tuco at a junkyard]

Jesse: A junkyard? Let me guess, you picked this place?

Walter: What's wrong with it? It's private.

Jesse: This is...This is like a...a non-criminal's idea of a drug meet. This is like, "Oh, I saw this in a movie. Ooh, look at me."

Walter: Yeah, so...so where do you transact business? Enlighten me.

Jesse: I don't know. How about Taco Cabeza? Half the deals I've ever done went down at Taco Cabeza. Nice and public. Open twenty-four hours. Nobody ever gets shot at Taco Cabeza. Hell, why not the mall? You know, wait at the Gap. "Hey! It's time for the meet!" You know, I'll put down the flat-front khakis, head on over, grab an Orange Julius. Skip the part where psycho lunatic Tuco, you know, comes and steals my drugs and leaves me bleeding to death.

Jesse: Four pounds. Four pounds – like two pounds wasn't bad enough. We're talking two – three-hundred boxes of sinus pills. There ain't that many Smurfs in the world.

Walter: We're not going to need pseudoephedrine. We're going to make phenylacetone in a tube furnace, then we're going to use reductive amination to yield methamphetamine. Four pounds.

Jesse: So no pseudo?

Walter: No pseudo.

Jesse: So you do have a plan! Yeah Mr. White! Yeah science!

[Walter is making home-made thermite in Jesse's kitchen for the purpose of stealing methylamine.]

Jesse: And that'll cut through a lock? Because this is supposed to be one big-ass lock.

Walter: In World War II, the Germans had an artillery piece – it's the biggest in the world – called the Gustav Gun, and it weighed a thousand tons. And the Gustav was capable of firing a seven-ton shell and hitting a target, accurately, twenty-three miles away. [chuckles] I mean, you could drop bombs on it every day for a month without ever disabling it. But, drop a commando – one man, with just a bag of this – and he could melt right through four inches of steel and destroy that gun forever.

[He tosses the bag of thermite to Jesse, who flinches as he catches it.]

Jesse: Jeez.

Walter: So yes, I think it'll cut through any lock we're likely to find.

[Walter and Jesse meet Tuco and his men at the junkyard with their new meth]

Tuco: What is this shit? This is blue.

Walter: We used a different chemical process, but it is every bit as pure.

Jesse: It may be blue, but it's the bomb.

Tuco: [snorts meth] Tight! Tight, tight, yeah! Oh, blue, yellow, pink. Whatever, man. Just keep bringing me that.

No-Doze: [weighing the bag of meth] Four point six.

Tuco: Uh! Come on. [Gonzo hands the money to Walter and Jesse] What did I say, man? This guy can cook! You're alright, man. You're alright. We're going to make a lot of money together.

No-Doze: [with a lot of attitude] Just remember who you're working for.

Tuco: [angered, he turns and faces him] What did you say?

No-Doze: I'm just saying they got to know that they're working for you.

Tuco: Like they don't already know that? Are you saying they're stupid?

No-Doze: No, I'm just...I'm just saying.

Tuco: Oh yeah, so you're not saying they're stupid. So I don't understand. Are you saying that I'm stupid?

No-Doze: No, come on, Tuco. I'm just...I'm just saying.

Tuco: No, you're just speaking for me! Like I ain't got the goddamn sense to speak for myself! Is that it? Is that what you're doing?

Walter: Tuco. Tuco, hey, why don't we just all relax, huh?

Tuco: [laughs] Heisenberg says "relax". Orale, holmes. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed.

[Tuco punches No-Doze in the face. Tuco proceeds to punch him over and over while he is on the ground, leaving him bloody and possibly dead]

Tuco: [showing off his bloody knuckles] Damn, man! Look at that! Look! Yeah, that's messed up! Okay, Heisenberg! Next week. [chuckles]

[Tuco and Gonzo drive off with No-Doze's bloody body. Walter and Jesse look at each other in horror]

Season 2[edit]

Seven-Thirty-Seven [2.01][edit]

Walter: Adjusting for inflation – good state college – adjusting for inflation, say $45,000 a year, two kids, four years of college...$360,000. Remaining mortgage on the home, $107,000. Home equity line, $30,000, that's $137,000. Cost of living, food, clothing, utilities, say two grand a month? I mean, that should put a dent in it, anyway. 24K a year provides for, say, ten years. That's $240,000, plus 360 plus 137...737. $737,000, that's what I need. That is what I need. You and I both clear about 70 grand a week. That's only ten and a half more weeks. Call it eleven. Eleven more drug deals and always in a public place from now on. It's doable. Definitely doable.

Jesse: Oh, we are dead. Dead men! Muerto, or muerte, or however the hell you...Jesus...

Walter: This is conjecture.

Jesse: This is conjecture?

Walter: Conjecture, yes. And conjecture isn't helping.

Jesse: Oh, my conjecture isn't helping?

Walter: Could you just state the facts?

Jesse: Alright, fine, facts in. Fact A: my phone rang like eight times last night. Dead air, hang-ups every time. Second fact? Like three in the morning, I saw that black Caddy of his cruising my neighborhood. No headlights.

Walter: No, if he wanted to kill us, he would have done it at the junkyard.

Jesse: What is that? Conjecture? Are you basing that on that he's got a normal, healthy brain or something? Did you not see him beat a dude to death for, like, nothing? And that way-that way he just kept staring at us. Saying, "You're done." You're done?! You wanna know what that means? I will tell you what that means! That means exactly how it sounds, yo! Alright, we are witnesses, we are loose ends! Right now, Tuco's thinking, "Yeah, hey, they cook good meth, but can I trust them?" What happens when he decides "no"?

[Jesse is explaining how he will kill Tuco]

Jesse Alright, say we set up one last sale, this is providing he doesn't decide to waste us before then. Now every time we bring in a new batch he always tests the product, right? So as his head is down, y'know giving it a snort, just pop, pop, pop!

Walter: Pop, pop, pop? So three shots?

Jesse: Yeah, three shots, or I dunno, two?

Walter: Wait, so is it two or is it three?

Jesse: I mean, two would probably work, I guess, yeah.

Walter: Okay, two shots. Two shots in the chest, two shots in the face, what?

Jesse: Man, c'mon!

Walter: No, I am just trying to understand how this works!

Jesse: Look, it's got five bullets. I finally figured out how to...[Jesse struggles to open the gun]...look, I just finally...[Jesse gives up]...I figured it out. I say we get a second gun. Right? For you? I mean, don't we like double our chances? I mean, mathematically?

Walter: I've got a better idea.

Jesse: Oh thank God!

Skyler: I need support. Me, the almost forty year old pregnant woman with the surprise baby on the way. And the husband with lung cancer who disappears for hours on end and I don't know where he goes and he barely even speaks to me anymore. With the moody son who does the same thing. And the overdrawn checking account. And the lukewarm water heater that leaks rusty looking crap and is rotting out the floor of the utility closet and we can't even afford to fix it! But oh, I see! Now I'm supposed to go, "Hank, please, what can I possibly do to further benefit my spoiled, kleptomaniac bitch sister who somehow always manages to be the center of attention?" 'Cause God knows she's the one with the really important problems!

Grilled [2.02][edit]

Jesse: So, you plan to, uh, ice Gonzo, like...future tense?

Tuco: What?

Walter: You're saying, Tuco, you're saying Gonzo is currently operating as a police informant as far as you know? [Tuco nods] I'm very sorry to hear that. That's disappointing.

Jesse: Yeah. I would waste him, too, yo.

Tuco: Shut up.

Jesse: Okay.

Marie: Chemotherapy and marijuana go together like apple pie and Chevrolet.

Walter: Chili powder. Did I not already tell you how moronic that was?

Walter: We need a plan.

Jesse: Think, think. Let's just bum rush him, man. You know, you crack him over the head with something and I'll go for his gun.

Walter: Crack him over the head with something? [Walter sarcastically holds up a fly swatter]

Jesse: You got the C, man, alright? You're as good as checked out already, okay? You should be all like sacrificial, jumping on a grenade, yo. Just...

Walter: Oh, so my life is not the priority here because I'm gonna be dead soon anyway? That's your point?

Jesse: Uh, yeah?

[Hector, Tuco's invalid uncle, keeps ringing his bell after catching Walter and Jesse attempting to poison Tuco's food]

Tuco: What? What do you want?! No. Don't even tell me you're hungry. Don't go there. [Tuco notices Hector is staring at Walter and Jesse] Hahaha! Are you mad doggin' them, tio? What, you don't like them? [Hector rings the bell] One ding. That means yes. Tio don't like you. Why don't you like them, tio? You don't trust them? [Hector rings the bell] Why don't you trust them, tio?

Walter: Tuco, c'mon, hey, he's, there's clearly some dementia. He's not lucid.

Tuco: Shh! Did they do something to you, tio? Was it something that you don't like? [Hector rings the bell] What did they do to you? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY TIO?!

Walter: Nothing, nothing.

Tuco: BULLSHIT! MY TIO DOES NOT LIE!

Walter: I don't know. I swear, I don't know. I, no, I, it, maybe it was, I did change the channel on his TV, but, uh...

Jesse: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. While you were cooking, you know, he was watching one of those, uh, those, uh, telenovels, y'know, with all those ripe honeys on it? Y'know, he was really into it. I told you not to change the channel, man! Y'know, dude needs his eye candy. That's it!

Tuco: Hahahahaha! Tio! Is that it, tio? Is that it, tio? Did they change your mamitas? [Hector is silent] What are you telling me, tio? Huh? Are they punking me? [Hector rings the bell]

[Tuco slowly walks toward Jesse]

Jesse: Hey...no...no, man. No...

Tuco: COME HERE!

Jesse: Don't shoot!

[Tuco grabs Jesse and drags him outside]

Walter: No, no, Tuco!

[Walter runs after them as Tuco begins to beat up Jesse]

Walter: Tuco...

Tuco: SHUT UP!

[Tuco punches Jesse in the stomach and points the rifle at his head]

Jesse: No, please, no! God, please, no! Oh God, I don't wanna die!

Tuco: Tell me what you did, Walter!

Jesse: Jesus, I don't wanna die! NO!

Tuco: TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!

[Walter notices Jesse has dug up a rock]

Walter: We tried to poison you. We tried to poison you because you are an insane, degenerate piece of filth and you deserve to die.

[Jesse bashes Tuco in the face with the rock. He drops the rifle into a shallow pit. Walter grabs it as Tuco and Jesse scuffle on the ground. Jesse manages to grab a small pistol tucked into Tuco's belt and shoots Tuco in the gut. Tuco screams in pain]

Jesse: [kicking Tuco into the shallow pit] Who's the bitch now?!

Walter: Let him bleed.

Bit by a Dead Bee [2.03][edit]

Marie: Well, which supermarket? Is it like a big one? Like a chain?

Skyler: Marie...

Marie: Don't get me wrong. I think it's just great that he's, y'know, back and he's feeling better. I just, I mean, he...naked. He was naked naked in a supermarket. It wasn't Whole Foods, was it?

[Hank is interrogating Jesse about his car being found at Tuco's hideout]

Hank: So who's your chief, little Injun?

Jesse: What? What does that even mean?

Hank: It means I think your story's bullshit. I think you know who Tuco Salamanca was. I think your car was there because you were there. Tuco had a bullet in him when I got there and I think you know something about that, too.

Jesse: So what're you saying? Like, I shot someone with, like, a gun?

Hank: You? No. Only shooting that you do is into a Kleenex.

Walter: There was no fugue state. I remember everything. The truth is I couldn't stand to spend another second in that house. I just had to...get out. And so I left. I didn't think about it, I just did it. I walked for a long time, and when I couldn't walk anymore, I hitchhiked. I got as far as Gallup. And then it was just time to come home.

Therapist: So, being found naked in a supermarket, that was your way of giving credibility to a lie? Of avoiding questions about your disappearance? Why run away? What did you feel you had to run from?

Walter: Doctor, my wife is seven months pregnant with a baby we didn't intend. My fifteen-year old son has cerebral palsy. I am an extremely overqualified high school chemistry teacher. When I can work, I make $43,700 per year. I have watched all of my colleagues and friends surpass me in every way imaginable. And within eighteen months, I will be dead. And you ask why I ran?

[Hank and Gomez have had Tuco's uncle Hector brought to the interrogation room in hopes that he'll identify Jesse]

Hank: Gomie, you want to do the honors?

Gomez: Buenos tardes, Señor Salamanca. Entiendes el ingles? ["Good evening, Mr. Salamanca. Do you understand English?"]

[Hector rings the bell]

Hank: What does that mean?

DEA Agent: That means "yes". "Yes" is a bell, "no" is no bell.

Jesse: Oh c'mon, this is bullshit! I mean look at this dude, alright? He doesn't even know what planet he's living on!

Gomez: Señor, are we on the planet Mars? [no bell] Are we on the planet Saturn? [no bell] Are we on the planet Earth? [Hector rings the bell] Señor, is today Friday? [no bell] Is today Monday? [no bell] Is today Tuesday? [Hector rings the bell]

Hank: Okay, seems like he's all there. Let's go for it.

Gomez: Señor, was this man at your house yesterday? [Hector does nothing] Señor, was this man at your house yesterday?

Hank: This guy right here, he was at your house, right? Was he doing business with your nephew Tuco?

Gomez: Señor, are you scared of this man?

Hank: Nah, he's not scared. C'mon granddad, why don't you wanna help us out?

[Hector turns to Hank, stands up, and defecates in his chair]

Gomez: Oh man!

Hank: I guess that's a "no"...

Walter: Pay phone?

Jesse: Pay phone, middle of nowhere, nobody followed. So how'd it go?

Walter: Okay. You?

Jesse: They sweated me plenty, but they finally cut me loose. So you getting out of there?

Walter Tomorrow. So who came for you? The DEA? What'd they ask you?

Jesse: Yeah, that's the thing, y'know? Your scumbag brother-in-law took my rainy day fund.

Walter: Your what? What is that?

Jesse: My rainy day fund, $68,000, okay? Cue ball son of a bitch laughed in my face. Now I got, like, eighty bucks to my name.

Walter: Wait, wait, what does he know? Does he know it's your money?

Jesse: No, man, he doesn't know shit, okay? The plan worked. He bought it. I got bills due, man. I'm screwed.

Walter: Did he mention my name?

Jesse: No, thanks for caring.

Walter: How about the basement?

Jesse: It's clean.

Walter: And the RV?

Jesse: Badger's cousin took it to his garage. It's safe.

Walter: Can he get it running again?

Jesse: Why?

Walter: So we can cook.

Jesse: You still wanna cook? Seriously?

Walter: What's changed, Jesse?

Down [2.04][edit]

Walter: [to Skyler] Our son doesn't know who Boz Scaggs is. We have failed as parents.

[Movers are taking away Jesse's things]

Jesse: Hey, hey! What the hell, yo? I thought this was just a wake-up call!

Mrs. Pinkman: We are putting it in storage. When you decide to grow up, you can have it back.

Jesse: No, why don't you grow up, mom? Jenny wanted me here! Alright, I was the one who took care of her. Alright, I took her to her appointments and made her lunch everyday. I earned this!

Mrs. Pinkman: You did not make her lunch everyday.

Jesse: What'd you do, huh? She's lying there dying, and where the hell are you?

Mrs. Pinkman: Don't start with me.

Jesse: And now what? You decided to, oh I don't know, make your eldest son homeless? Wow, great family, mom!

[Mrs. Pinkman slaps Jesse]

Mrs. Pinkman: Why are you like this?! Why?! [pause] You have two sets of keys and the padlock to the garage. Leave them on the kitchen counter when you leave.

Jesse: No, mom, mom, mom! Hey, where am I supposed to go?

Mrs. Pinkman: I don't know, sweetheart. But please, turn your life around.

Jesse: Yeah, yeah, this is gonna help big time with that. BITCH!

[Walter picks up the phone]

Walter: White residence.

Jesse: Yo, it's me. Is this a good time?

Walter: What part of "no contact" didn't you understand?

Jesse: I know, but there's a problem.

Walter: I don't care. We agreed...[Skyler walks by]...no amount of pay-per-view channels is going to make a difference. Honey, we're happy with our cable provider, right? Yep, we're happy. [Walter hangs up]

Skyler: Okay, don't talk, Walt! Shut up and say something that isn't complete bullshit! You want to know what you have to do? You have to tell me what's really going on right now – today. No more excuses, no more apologies, no more of these...these obvious desperate breakfasts! You don't wanna lose contact with me, Walt? Good. Then tell me. Now.

[long pause]

Walter: Tell you what?

[Walter sees Jesse's RV parked in front of his house]

Walter: What the f...?

[Walter knocks on the door and Jesse lets him in]

Jesse: Yo, I'm really sorry, okay?

Walter: What is wrong with you? Why are you blue? Aw Jesus...

Jesse: Long story. Let's just say it starts with my parents being greedy kleptomaniac douchebags.

Walter: Are you actually this stupid...

Jesse: No, look, I know this isn't an optimal situation...

Walter: ...to come to my house, and park on my street, driving this vehicle? I mean, what the hell is wrong with you?! I'm really asking!

Jesse: Nothing. I'm sorry, I just...

Walter: What if Skyler had seen you, huh? What then? What was the plan then, genius? Hm?

Jesse: I don't know.

Walter: You don't know. You know why you don't know? Because you don't think! That's why! You don't think! You never figured out how to think, did you, big man?

Jesse: Hey, I said I was sorry, alright? I just need my half of the money and I'll go!

Walter: Your half? There is no your half of the money! There is only my all of it, do you understand?! Why, why should I be penalized because of your sloppiness?!

[Walter pushes Jesse]

Jesse: Look, that is completely uncool, alright? We agreed 50/50, partners!

Walter: Partners in what? What exactly do you do here, I've been meaning to ask. Because I'm the producer, right? I cook. But from what I can tell, you are just a drug addict! You are a pathetic junkie too stupid to understand and follow simple rudimentary instructions! Too stupid to–

[Jesse grabs Walter by the head and shoves him into the wall. The two struggle. Jesse pushes Walter to the ground and starts to strangle him. He lifts his fist up to punch Walter.]

Walter: ...Do it...

[Jesse lowers his fist and collapses next to Walter, both exhausted]

Breakage [2.05][edit]

Hank: So things are quiet, y'know? Not a lot of crystal on the streets right now.

Merkert: Good.

Hank: Of course that's not gonna last. I'm waiting to see who's gonna rally the roaches now that his turf is up for grabs.

Merkert: No takers so far?

Hank: Well, we keep hearing a name. Heisenberg. Lately pretty much every dimebagger we come across.

Merkert: Heisenberg?

Hank: Yeah, I know. Maybe it's a tweaker urban legend. Still, somebody somewhere is cooking that big blue we keep finding.

Jane: And in addition to first and last, I want two more months. D.B.A.A. fee, non-refundable.

Jesse: Yeah, of course. Non-refundable. D.B.A.A. Obviously. Yeah. Alright...so, uh...what's D.B.A.A?

Jane: Don't Be An Asshole.

Jesse: We got to be Tuco. Alright, cut out the middle man, run our own game.

Walter: So you're going to what? Snort meth off a bowie knife? You're gonna beat your homies to death when they "dis" you?

Jesse: Look, I know some guys, alright? I can create a network. Look, we control production and distribution. That way we stay off the front lines while moving some serious glass. I mean, the point here is to make money, right? Sky high stacks!

Walter: No.

Jesse: No? That's not the point?

Walter: No, I am not willing to do that!

Jesse: Who said anything about you?

Walter: I don't vote for this plan. I'm not comfortable bringing in unknown entities into our operation.

Jesse: Yeah? Well, you don't get to vote.

Walter: I beg your pardon? This is a partnership, remember?

Jesse: I remember, oh, I remember. That you cook, I sell. That was the division of labor when we started all this. And that's exactly how we should have kept it! 'Cause I sure as hell didn't find myself locked in a trunk or on my knees with a GUN to my head before your greedy old ass came along, alright?

Walter: Alright, I will admit to a bit of a learning curve.

Jesse: Oh-ho!

Walter: And perhaps I was overly ambitious. In any case, it's not gonna happen that way anymore.

Jesse: Yeah, damn straight. Know why? 'Cause we do things my way this time or I walk! You need me more than I need you...Walt.

Walter Jr.: Yeah. Hell yeah. Kick ass and take names.

Walter: You asked me what I want you to do.

[Walter places a gun in front of Jesse]

Walter: I want you to handle it.

Peekaboo [2.06][edit]

Jesse: You got something for me?

Skinny Pete: Yeah, I found 'em.

[Skinny Pete hands Jesse a piece of paper]

Jesse: Is this a five or an S?

Skinny Pete: Five, yo. No wait...S. No, no...yeah, five.

Jesse: Yeah? Jesus, how the hell do you spell "street" wrong? S-T-R-E-A-T?

Skinny Pete: Hey, man, I'm slingin' mad volume and fat stackin' benjis, you know what I'm sayin'? I can't be all about, like, spelling and shit.

Jesse: Okay. So they got names?

Skinny Pete: Hers is like, I dunno, she's just his woman is all. Him, they call Spooge.

Jesse: Spooge? Not Mad Dog? Not Diesel? So lemme get this straight, you got jacked by a guy named Spooge?

Walter: The man who invented the diamond. Alright. H. Tracy Hall – write this name down. Dr. Hall invented the first reproducible process for making synthetic diamonds. I mean, this is way back in the 50's. Now today, synthetic diamonds are used in oil drilling, electronics, multi-billion dollar industries. Now at the time, Dr. Hall worked for General Electric and he made them a fortune. I mean, incalculable. You want to know how GE rewarded Dr. Hall? A $10 U.S. savings bond. [Walt becomes angry but calms himself] Anyway, a savings bond printed on carbon-based paper paid to a carbon-based man for something he made out of...carbon.

Spooge: I told ya, Diesel, we ain't holding, man.

Spooge's Woman: We shot it all.

Jesse: Yeah? You shot an ounce? In a day and a half?

Spooge: Yeah.

Jesse: Alright, tell you what. Both of you pull it out your butts right now, or I go grab a flashlight and some pliers and go exploring.

Gretchen: Let me just get this straight: Elliott and I offered to pay for your treatment, no strings attached – an offer which still stands by the way – and you turn us down out of pride, whatever. And then you tell your wife that in fact we are paying for your treatment. Without our knowledge, against our will, you involve us in your lie, and you sit here and tell me that that is none of my business?

[long pause]

Walter: Yeah. That's pretty much the size of it.

Gretchen: What happened to you? Really, Walt? What happened? Because this isn't you.

Walter: What would you know about me, Gretchen? What would your presumption about me be exactly? That I should go begging for your charity, and you waving your checkbook around like some magic wand is going to make me forget how you and Elliott – how you and Elliott – cut me out?

Gretchen: What? That can't be how you see it.

Walter: It was my hard work. My research. And you and Elliott made millions off it.

Gretchen: That cannot be how you see it.

Walter: Oh God, that's beautifully done.

Gretchen: You left.

Walter: You are always the picture of innocence.

Gretchen: You left me.

Walter: The picture of innocence. Just sweetness and light.

Gretchen: You left me. Fourth of July weekend, you and my father and my brothers. And I go up to our room and you are packing your bags. Barely talking. What, did I dream all that?

Walter: That's your excuse? To build your little empire on my work?

Gretchen: How could you say that to me? You walked away, you abandoned us. Me, Elliott...

Walter: Little rich girl, just adding to your millions.

Gretchen: I don't even know what to say to you. I don't even know where to begin. I feel so sorry for you, Walt.

Walter: Fuck you.

Jesse: You have a good rest of your life, kid.

Negro Y Azul [2.07][edit]

[A norteño band has written a song about "Heisenberg"]

The city's called Duke,

The state's called New Mexico.

Among gangsters,

The gringo's fame is inflated

'Cause of the new drug they created.

They say the color is blue

And the quality pure.

The potent drug's runnin'

Through the city,

And no one could stop it

If they wanted to.

The cartel's runnin' hot because

They weren't getting respect.

Talkin' 'bout some "Heisenberg"

Who owns the market now.

No one knows the man since

They've never seen his face.

The cartel's 'bout respect

And they ain't forgiving.

But that homie's dead,

He just doesn't know it yet.

Heisenberg's fame has got

Down to Michoacan.

From way far away

They want to taste that meth.

That blue stuff crossed the border,

Now New Mexico's livin' up to its name.

Looks like Mexico

In all the drugs it's hiding.

Except there's a gringo boss

And he's known as "Heisenberg".

The cartel's runnin' hot because

They weren't getting respect,

Talkin' 'bout some "Heisenberg"

Who owns the market now.

No one knows the man since

They've never seen his face.

The fury of the cartel

Ain't no one escaped it yet.

But that homie's dead,

He just doesn't know it yet.

Walter: Jesse, look at me, you are a blow fish.

Jesse: What?

Walter: A blow fish, think about it. Small in stature, not swift, not cunning, easy prey for predators, but the blow fish has a secret weapon, doesn't he? Doesn't he? What does the blow fish do, Jesse? What does the blow fish do?

Jesse: I don't even know what...

Walter: The blow fish puffs up, okay? The blow fish puffs himself up four, five times larger than normal but why? Why does he do that? Because it makes him intimidating, that's why. Intimidating so that the other scarier fish are scared off and that's you. You are a blow fish. Don't you see? It's just all, all an illusion. It's nothing but air. Now, who messes with the blow fish, Jesse?

Jesse: Nobody.

Walter: You're damn right.

Jesse: I'm a blow fish.

Walter: You are a blow fish. Say it again.

Jesse: A blow fish!

Walter: Say it like you mean it!

Jesse: I'M A BLOW FISH! BLOW FISH! YEEEAAAH! BLOW FISHIN' THIS UP!

[Jesse takes big bong hit]

Tortuga: Hey white boy, my name's Tortuga. You know what that means?

Hank: If I have to guess, I'd say that's Spanish for asshole.

Tortuga: Tortuga means turtle, and that's me. I take my time but I always win.

[The DEA finds Tortuga's severed head on a turtle with the words "Hola DEA" written on it. Hank staggers back to the truck, feeling sick]

Vanco: Schrader, where you going?

Hank: E...Evidence bag...bag...

[The other DEA agents laugh]

Vanco: What's the matter, Schrader? You act like you've never seen a severed human head on a tortoise before!

[Four DEA agents gather around the turtle]

Vanco: Hey! Welcome to–

[A hidden bomb inside the turtle explodes, blowing away three agents and blowing off Vanco's leg]

Jesse: The game has changed, yo. This is our city, alright? All of it. The whole damn place. Our territory. We're staking our claim. Yo, we sell when we want, where we want. We're gonna be kings, understand? Well, I'm gonna be king and you guys will be, like, princes or dukes or something.

Badger: I wanna be a knight.

Jesse: But first things first: we gotta get more dealers, y'know, foot soldiers, alright? Now they'll be working for you, you're working for me, and I'm working for you. You follow me? Layered, like nachos. Exponential growth. That's success, with a capital S.

Skinny Pete: Straight up, straight up.

Combo: Fo' shizzle.

Badger: Friggin' awesome.

[Everybody puts their hands in. Jesse leaves, heads outside and gets into Walter's car]

Jesse: Well, we're set. Boys are ready. Gonna make some mad cheddar, yo. [Walter looks at Jesse] Cheddar, Mr. White. Fat stacks. Dead Presidents. Cash money. We're gonna own this city.

Walter: We're not charging enough.

Jesse: What?

Walter: Corner the market, then raise the price. Simple economics.

Better Call Saul [2.08][edit]

[Badger is sitting at a bus stop bench. A nerdy looking guy in his thirties wanders up and sits down on the bench next to him]

Getz: Hey. You uh, you sellin'?

Badger: I don't know what you're talking about.

Getz: OK. That's cool. I'm just sayin', you know...if you were selling, I could maybe do with a teenth.

Badger: [stares at him] You're kidding, right? Dude, I so smell bacon.

Getz: What? What are you talking about?

Badger: Oh gee, I don't know. [points to his left] How about over there, that brown van? That's yours, right?

Getz: What brown van?

Badger: [points it out] Parked all "inconspicuous"! It's a cop van! [points to his right] Yeah! Another one right over there! [scoffs] "Duke City Flowers"? Come on! Can't you at least be original? [laughs]

Getz: Dude, I just wanna get high!

Badger: A flower van! Uh, you know what you should do is a garbage truck. Seriously, and I don't mean to disrespect, but if you put a bunch of cops in the back of a garbage truck, there's no way I'm seriously thinking that there's cops in the back of a garbage truck! It's a freebie, yo. Just think about it. Think about it, boys! [Getz sighs and suddenly stands up]

Getz: All right. I'm hitting it.

Badger: Whoa! You dudes give up that easy?

Getz: I'm not a cop!

Badger: Then lift your shirt. Show me you're not wearing a wire.

Getz: All right, you know what? Just to show you you're being an asshole... [Getz lifts his shirt and shows his midsection to Badger]

Badger: Ahh! I'm blinded by white!

Getz: Douchebag.

Badger: Ah, come on. I was joking. Come on. Don't walk away angry. Sit down. Come on. [Getz reluctantly sits back down on the bench next to Badger] I mean, what are you complaining about? You got abs, man. Kind of.

Getz: Whatever, dude. I'm not even sure I wanna buy anymore. I-I think you turned me off to the whole thing.

Badger: Come on, don't be like that. I just-I just need you to prove it, you know? Prove you're not a cop.

Getz: How the hell am I supposed to do that?

Badger: I don't know. [beat] Hey, I've got it. [points to a man across the street] Go over there and punch that dude right in the face.

Getz: Which dude? [Badger points the guy out] That dude?

Badger: Yeah.

Getz: No way! He'd kick my ass!

Badger: [laughs] True to that. Ugh! This is so hard, you know?

Getz: Yeah. [He gets an idea] I know. It's simple: Uh, if you ask a cop if he's a cop, he's, like, obligated to tell you. It's in the Constitution.

Badger: Constitution of America? [Getz shrugs] Huh.

Getz: So-so go ahead and ask.

Badger: You a cop?

Getz: No, no. Not like that. Ask it like, official.

Badger: Are you a police officer?

Getz: [holds up his hand as if taking an oath] No. I am not a police officer.

Badger: Okay then. $175 for a teenth.

Getz: Whoa.

Badger: Price is the price, yo.

Getz: [after a beat] All right. [Getz reaches into his pocket and pulls out a couple dollar bills, which he hands over to Badger. Badger gets up, walks over to the garbage can near the bench, and sets down his soda can. He then pulls a bag of meth out of the can and walks back to the bench. He sits down and discreetly passes the meth over to Getz]

Badger: Here you go. Enjoy.

Getz: Thanks, man.

[Getz stuffs the meth in his pocket, gets up, and starts to walk away, but then he turns around. As Badger relaxes, Getz puts his right foot down on the bench, reaches down, and pulls a gun out from a concealed ankle holster]

Getz: Albuquerque Police! You're under arrest! Get on the ground! [Police sirens wail] Get on your stomach now! On your stomach! Get on the ground! [Badger drops to the ground as a pair of vans screech to a stop alongside the bench. A couple of plainclothes cops jump out and train their guns on Badger]

Cop in Van: Hold it right there! Don't move! Stay down. [One of the cops handcuffs Badger]

[Hank is holed up in bed due to the trauma from the Tortuga bomb incident]

Walter: I have spent my whole life scared – frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen. Fifty years I spent like that. Finding myself awake at three in the morning. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis, I sleep just fine.

Hank: Hmmm...okay.

Walter: What I came to realize is that fear, that's the worst of it. That's the real enemy. So, get up, get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth.

[Saul enters the interrogation room where Badger is being questioned]

Saul Goodman: Alright, who do we have?

Badger: Brandon Mayhew.

Saul Goodman: [looking through his files] Brandon Mayhew...alright...Brandon Mayhew...ah, here we go. Public masturbation.

Badger: What?

Saul Goodman: I don't get it. What's the kick? Why don't you do it at home like the rest of us, with a big flatscreen TV, 50 channels of Pay-Per-View. [looks back at the file] In a Starbucks. That's nice, heh-heh.

Badger: That ain't me, man! I'm...I was the guy who selling meth...allegedly.

Saul Goodman: [looking through his files] OK, alright, I gotcha. Meth. Right. Sorry, that was a little transpositional error. Nothing that a little white-out can't take care of. Yeah, and felony quantity.

Badger: Just barely.

Saul Goodman: Yeah, just barely. The cops are like butchers, always got their thumbs on the scales, but good luck arguing that in court. Let me get down to brass tacks: I'm gonna get you a second phone call. You're gonna call your mommy or your daddy or your parish priest or your Boy Scout leader and they're gonna deliver me a check for $4,650. I'm gonna write that down on the back of my business card. [Saul writes the amount down] Four-six-five-zero. Okay? And I need that in a cashier's check or a money order, doesn't matter-actually, I want it in a money order. And make it out to Ice Station Zebra Associates. That's my loan-out. It's totally legit. It's done just for tax purposes. And after that, we can discuss Visa or MasterCard, but definitely not American Express, so don't even ask. All right? Any questions?

Badger: You're gonna get me off, right?

Saul Goodman: What do I look like, your high-school girlfriend? Five fingers, no waiting? [Badger stares at him] That's a joke, Brandon! Lighten up! [in low voice] Son, I promise you this: I will give you the best criminal defense that money can buy.

[Walt and Jesse pull up outside Saul's strip mall office]

Jesse: Sooner or later this is gonna happen. If you want your exponential growth, guys are gonna get busted. Simple as that.

Walter: How about we get him a real attorney? I mean, what the hell is this? This is who he hires?

Jesse: What? You kidding me? This is the guy you want. This is the guy I'd hire.

Walter: [sarcastically] Ooh, this is the guy you'd hire.

Jesse: Look, you remember Emilio? 'Kay, this dude got Emilio off, like, twice. 'Kay, both times they had him dead to rights, yo, and then poof. Dude's like Houdini. Seriously, when the going gets tough, you don't want a criminal lawyer. Alright, you want a criminal lawyer. You know what I'm saying?

Saul: Mayhew. Is that Irish or English?

Walter: Irish.

Saul: Faith and begorrah! A fellow potato eater! My real name's McGill. The Jew thing I just do for the homeboys. They all want a pipe-hitting member of the tribe, so to speak.

[Saul finds Walter after school in the classroom]

Saul: Oh my God! You really are a chemistry teacher! Heh-heh. Uh, you mind? [Saul closes the door] I was terrible at chemistry. I'm more of a humanities guy.

Walter: How did you find me?

Saul: We should talk about that. It should be much, much harder for people to track you down. My P.I. charged me for three hours, so I seriously doubt it took him more than one.

Walter: So this is what? Blackmail?

Saul: Walter, I'm your lawyer. Anything you say to me is totally privileged. I'm not in the shakedown racket. I'm a lawyer. Even drug dealers need lawyers, right? Especially drug dealers.

Walter: So what? You're just doing this out of the kindness of your heart?

Saul: C'mon. Have you seen my hourly rate? Heh-heh. Oh by the way, where do you keep the money? Is it in your mattress? Is it in a jelly jar buried in the side yard, huh? You know, this kid Mayhew may be the first of your guys to get picked up, but he won't be the last. And if I can find you, how far behind can the cops be?

Walter: I don't understand. What exactly are you offering to do for me?

Saul: What did Tom Hagen do for Vito Corleone?

Walter: I'm no Vito Corleone.

Saul: No shit! Right now you're Fredo! But, y'know, with some sound advice and proper introductions, who knows? I'll tell you one thing: you've got the right product. Anything that gets the DEA's panties in this big a bunch, you're onto something special. And I would like to be a small and silent part of it. Food for thought, yeah? [he starts to head for the door, but stops] So if you want to make more money and, uh, keep the money that you make, [taps his foot and holds his arms out with flair] better call Saul!

4 Days Out [2.09][edit]

Saul: Look, let's crunch some numbers. How much money are we laundering?

Walter: At this time...$16,000.

Saul: How long you been doing this?

Walter: We've had some extenuating circumstances.

Saul: Yeah, apparently. All right, $16,000 laundered at 75 cents on the dollar, minus my fee, which is 17%, comes out to $9,960. Congratulations, you've just left your family a second hand Subaru.

Jesse: Yo, you wanna go shopping, go do it yourself, alright? I got plans.

Walter: Smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute plans in my book.

Walter: Three entire bags of Funyuns?

Jesse: Funyuns are awesome.

Walter: God...

Jesse: More for me.

Walter: How about something with some protein, maybe? Something green, huh? How are you even alive?

[Walter and Jesse are stranded without water in their RV in the middle of the desert]

Walter: I have this coming.

Jesse: What?

Walter: I have it coming. I deserve this.

Jesse: Snap out of it. Alright, first off, everything you did, you did for your family. Right?

Walter: All I ever managed to do was worry and disappoint them. And lie. Oh God, the lies...I can't even...can't even keep them straight in my head anymore...

Jesse: You know what? Screw this. I'm walking. You can come or not. Where's my other shoe?

Walter: Jesse...Jesse...Your body is running dangerously low on electrolytes. Sodium, potassium, calcium...and when they're gone, your brain ceases to communicate with the muscles. Your lungs stop breathing. Your heart stops pumping. You go marching out there, and within an hour, you will be dead.

Jesse: You need to cut out all your loser crybaby crap right now and think of something scientific!

Walter: And now, what shall we use to conduct this beautiful current with, hm? What one particular element comes to mind, hm? [Walter holds up a copper wire] Hmm?

Jesse: Ooooh, wire.

Walter: ...Copper.

Jesse: Oh, I mean...

Walter: It's copper.

Over [2.10][edit]

Walter: The upshot is that I have radiation pneumonitis.

Jesse: Damn...

Walter: Actually it's not as bad as it sounds. It's a fairly common occurrence. Easily treated. In fact, the news is all good.

Jesse: You mean, good? You mean, like, good good? You mean, like, remission good?

Walter: Remission. Not to imply I'm cured. I still have cancer, but there's been a significant reduction in the tumors.

Jesse: How significant?

Walter: Eighty percent.

Jesse: Dude! No way!

Walter: I'm not out of the woods yet, not by any stretch...but "options" is the word they keep bandying about.

Jesse: That's awesome! Serious? That's...that's...that's great, man! My aunt, she never...I mean, y'know, at your stage I didn't even think that could happen.

Walter: Eh.

Jesse: Mr. White, you kicked its ass, yo! [Walter motions for Jesse to quiet down] No! You must be so psyched!

Walter: Of course. I am.

Jesse: Okay now we...I mean, what do we...Oh! Hey, I almost forgot. [Jesse hands Walter a paper bag filled with money] So...how do you want to...y'know...proceed in light of this kickass news?

Walter: We'll take our time and stay cautious. Sell off what we have and then...well, then I guess I'm done.

Walter: Um...well, it's kind of funny. When I got my diagnosis – cancer – I said to myself, y'know, "Why me?" And then the other day when I got the good news, I said the same thing. [The party guests are silent with confusion] Anyway, uh, thank you for coming and...enjoy.

Hank: Wow. Inspirational.

[Hank takes a bottle of tequila away after Walter keeps pouring shots for Walter Jr.]

Walter: Hey! Bring...the bottle...back.

Hank: Sorry, buddy. No can do.

Walter: My son! My bottle! My house!

Hank: [to other party guests] It's alright.

Walter: What are you waiting for? Bring it back!

Hank: Why don't we just call it a day? Alright, pal? We good?

[Hank puts his hand on Walter's shoulder. Walter smacks it away]

Walter: The bottle. Now.

Skyler: What's going on?

[Walter Jr. vomits into the pool. Skyler and Hank rush over to him. Walter sits back down and smiles to himself]

[Jane is looking at Jesse's superhero sketches]

Jane: And this is?

Jesse: That's Backwardo. Oh wait no, actually I changed it to Rewindo. Anyways, he goes backwards. He can make everything go in reverse.

Jane: Time and stuff? Time traveling?

Jesse: No, he just walks backwards.

Walter: Stay out of my territory.

Mandala [2.11][edit]

Walter: God. This entire process has just been so...It's always been one step forward and two steps back. We need your help.

Saul: Look, let's start with some tough love, alright? Ready for this? Here it goes: you two suck at peddling meth. Period.

[Walt deduces that the on-duty manager of a Los Pollos Hermanos is probably the distributor who wouldn't meet with him. He summons Gus to his table]

Gus Fring: What can I do for you?

Walter White: Have a seat. Please. [Gus sits down across from Walt] I would like to know why you wouldn't meet with me yesterday.

Gus Fring: I'm sorry, I'm not following.

Walter White: I sat here yesterday waiting to meet with someone. I believe that person was you.

Gus Fring: I think that you're confusing me for someone else.

Walter White: I don't think I am.

Gus Fring: Sir, if you have a complaint, I suggest you submit it through our e-mail system. I'd be happy to refer you to our website.

Walter White: I was told that the man I'd be meeting with was very careful. Cautious man. I believe we are alike in that way. If you are who I think you are, you should give me another chance. [Gus's demeanor suddenly changes]

Gus Fring: I don't think we're alike at all, Mr. White. You are not a cautious man at all. Your partner was late. And he was high.

Walter White: Yes. Yes he was.

Gus Fring: He's high often, isn't he? [Walter does not answer] You have poor judgment. I can't work with someone with poor judgment.

Walter White: Are you familiar with my product?

Gus Fring: I've been told it's excellent.

Walter White: It is impeccable. It is the purest, most chemically sound product on the market, anywhere.

Gus Fring: That is not the only factor.

Walter White: You could charge twice the current rate for what I provide and your customers would pay it, hands down. Now who I choose to do business with on my end is not your problem. You won't see him, you won't interact with him. Forget he exists.

Gus Fring: I have to ask why. Why him?

Walter White: Because he does what I say. Because I can trust him.

Gus Fring: How much product do you have left?

Walter White: 38 pounds. Ready to go at a moment's notice. [Gus gets up] Will I hear from you?

Gus Fring: I have your numbers. [softly] You can never trust a drug addict.

[Pete is describing Combo's funeral]

Skinny Pete: And you should've seen the coffin. It was like this shiny white pearlescence, like I'm pretty sure I seen the exact same paint job on a Lexus, right? So we're definitely talking high end.

[Jesse and Jane are injecting heroin]

Jesse: What's it feel like?

Jane: There's a chill. Don't freak out, it passes. And then...you'll see. [Jane kisses Jesse] I'll meet you there.

[As Walt gets up to leave Los Pollos Hermanos, having learned Gus's name, Victor suddenly steps in front of him and blocks him from leaving]

Victor: 38 pounds, $1.2 million, [deliver to the] truck stop, two miles south of exit 13 on the 25. One hour.

Walter White: W-What?

Victor: One hour. You in or out?

Walter White: In, in, absolutely, but I just need a little more time...

Victor: One hour. If you miss it, don't ever show your face in here again.

Phoenix [2.12][edit]

Jesse: How much?

Walter: How much what?

Jesse: How much did you get for the deal?

Walter: $1.2 million.

Jesse: $600,000 each.

Walter: $480,000. Saul's cut is 20%.

Jesse Alright, so where's my money?

Walter: Ha!

Jesse: What?

Walter: You are joking, right? If I gave you that money, you would be dead inside of a week.

Jesse: Yo man, look, I'm off the heroin. I didn't even like it, anyway. It made me sick. And the meth, y'know, I could take it or leave it. I'm clean, Mr. White. For real.

[Walter tosses an empty beaker to Jesse]

Walter: Prove it. Pee in that.

Jesse: How gay are you seriously?

Walter: Pee in it! They're selling testing kits at the drug stores. If you are clean, I will give you every last dime. [Jesse is silent] No, huh? Well I guess until then, you'll just have to depend on the kindness of strangers to get high. That and your little junkie girlfriend.

[Jesse throws the beaker at Walter. Walter ducks and it shatters against the chalkboard]

Walter: No, no, it cannot be blind luck or some imaginary relative who saves us. No, I earned that money. ME! And now my son created his own website – . Soliciting anonymous donations. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?

Saul: Well, look at that. It's got and everything.

Walter: Cyber-begging, that's all that is. Just rattling a little tin cup to the entire world.

Saul: [sarcastically] Yeah, there's no deep-seated issues there.

Jane: Do right by Jesse tonight or I will burn you to the ground.

Walter: Nice job wearing the pants.

Jane: Do you know what this is?

Jesse: It's a whole lot of cheddar.

Jane: This is freedom! This is saying I can go anywhere I want! I can be anybody! Who do you want to be? Where do you want to go? South America? Europe? Australia?

Jesse: Is New Zealand part of Australia?

Jane: New Zealand is New Zealand!

Jesse: Right on. New Zealand, that's where they, uh, that's where they made Lord of the Rings! I say we just move there, yo! I mean, you could do your art, right? Like, you could like paint the local castles and shit, and I can be a bush pilot!

ABQ [2.13][edit]

Mike: Any other drugs in the house? Think hard. Your freedom depends on it. [Jesse shakes his head] What about guns? You got any guns in the house? [Jesse shakes his head] Here's your story: You woke up. You found her. That's all you know. Say it. Say it, please. 'I woke up. I found her. That's all I know.' [Jesse begins to cry. Mike slaps him] Say it. 'I woke up. I found her. That's all I know.'

Jesse: I woke up. I found her. That's all I know.

Mike: Again.

Jesse: I woke up. I found her. That's all I know.

Mike: Again. Again.

Jesse: I woke up. I found her. That's all I know. I woke up. I found her. That's all I know.

Mike: Once you call it in, the people who show up will be with the Office of Medical Investigations. That's primarily who you'll talk to. Police officers may arrive, they may not. Depends on how busy a morning they're having. Typically OD's are not a high priority call. There's nothing here to incriminate you so I'd be amazed if you got placed under arrest. However, if you do, you say nothing. You tell them you just want your lawyer and you call Saul Goodman. And do I need to state the obvious? I was not here. You put on a long sleeve shirt and cover those track marks on your arm. [hands Jesse a phone] Count down from twenty and then you dial. Hang tough. You're in the home stretch.

Hank: Alright, some of you already know my brother-in-law. He's a good man. The doctors are saying this operation has a real chance of helping him. Of course they're also saying they want to be paid in private islands, so dig deep. Biggest donation gets a six-pack of my very own Schraderbrau. Home brewed to silky perfection.

Gomez: Smallest donation gets two six-packs.

Jesse: I deserve this.

Walter: What?

Jesse: What you said in the desert, I get it. What you meant. I deserve whatever happens.

Karen: Judging from the things you and other folks have written about him, your dad must be quite a guy.

Walter Jr.: Yeah, he is. He's the best.

Karen: You don't want to lose him, do you, Walter?

Walter Jr. None of us do. We love him.

Karen: He's a good man, isn't he?

Walter Jr.: Absolutely. Ask anyone, anybody. He's a great father, a great teacher. He knows like everything there is to know about chemistry. He's patient with you, he's always there for you. He's just decent. And he always does the right thing and that's how he teaches me to be.

Karen: Would you say he's your hero?

Walter Jr.: Oh yeah, yes ma'am, totally. My dad is my hero.

Walter: What are you doing?

Skyler: I'm going to Hank and Marie's for the weekend.

Walter: Since when?

Skyler: I'm taking the baby with me. Marie will pick up Walter Jr. from school. You will have the house to yourself for two days. I want you to pack your things and leave.

Walter: Why would I do that?

Skyler: Hank has offered to help since you shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting.

Walter: Skyler...

Skyler: I want you gone by Monday morning. I want...I want you gone.

Walter: Okay, can you at least tell me why?

Skyler: Because you're a liar, Walt. Two cell phones after all.

Walter: What?

Skyler: Right before your surgery, I asked if you had packed your cell phone and you said, "Which one?"

Walter: When? Skyler, I was medicated. I mean, I could have said the world was flat.

Skyler: You know what I think? I think you accidentally told the truth.

Walter: Honey, we have been over this. Asked and answered, right? There–

Skyler: But then it got me thinking again about the all the strange behavior. Not the least of which was the disappearance. Out of my mind with worry, calling hospitals, checking the morgue. Your fugue state? I had to believe that, didn't I? I had to find a way. I mean, who would lie about such a thing?

Walter: You tell me, Skyler. You tell me exactly what it is you think I'm lying about. What, an affair? I'm having an affair? Is that what you think?

Skyler: That's what I was thinking, yeah. For the last few weeks.

Walter: With whom? Who am I having an affair with?

Skyler: Well, my guess was Gretchen Schwartz. Something was going on between you. I just knew.

Walter: Jesus, Skyler. Get me a Bible to swear on, if that's what it takes. I am not having an affair with Gretchen!

Skyler: Oh, I know. I know you're not. 'Cause I asked her. It really took me forever to get in touch with her. She was ducking my calls for weeks. So I finally left a message, "What exactly is going on between you and my husband?" I thought that'd get her attention and it did. So she called me back and she finally told me. The money? For your treatment? Gretchen and Elliott didn't give you a dime. They paid for nothing. You refused every offer they made you, but that didn't make sense because I checked with Delcavoli in the hospital and, not including your surgery, we're nearly paid up. Over $100,000. Out of where? Out of thin air? But then, I called your mother. Yeah. Thanks for that, too. But I thought, y'know, maybe she has some money that I don't know about? Maybe she contributed? It's possible. It turns out that not only is the money not your mother, she didn't even know that you have cancer. You never went to see her. I dropped you at the airport, I picked you up, you were gone for four days, and yet she swears that you were never there. Lies on top of lies on top of lies.

Walter: Skyler...

Skyler Could you, just once, do me the courtesy of not denying it?

[Walter is silent. Skyler heads to the car]

Walter: Skyler...Skyler, don't do this, please. I...I...Skyler, please don't go. [Skyler tries to close the car door, but Walter stops her] If I tell you the truth, will you stay? Stay and I will tell you everything.

Skyler: Whatever it is, I'm afraid to know.

[Skyler closes the car door and drives off]

Season 3[edit]

No Más [3.01][edit]

[Walter grabs a duffel bag filled with his drug money, but Hank also grabs it]

Hank: Whoa, whoa, no heavy lifting. I got it.

Walter: No, it's okay.

Hank: I got it. Jesus, what you got in there – cinder blocks?

Walter: Half a million in cash.

Hank: [laughing] That's the spirit.

[The school is gathered in the gym to discuss the plane crash]

Barry: I just find it, y'know, really, really hard to concentrate because of all the horrors, y' know, we perceived. It just really gets inside your brain and, uh...in college they have this thing where if your roommate kills himself, like if you come home and find him hanging in the closet or whatever, it's basically an automatic A for you. And I just think that kind of compassion is something to–

Carmen: [grabbing microphone away] OK, thank you, Barry. Who wants to go next?

Walter: I love you, Skyler. And I would do anything for you. Would you even consider, I mean...Jesus! You come in here and you wave these papers in my face, when there's a whole other entire side to this thing. There's your side and there's my side and you haven't heard my side yet. You haven't heard any of it all.

Skyler: You're a drug dealer.

Walter: No. How...What?

Skyler: Yeah. How else could you possibly make that kind of money? Marijuana. That Pinkman kid. [Walter is silent] No? Oh my God, Walt. Cocaine?

Walter: ...It's methamphetamine. But I'm a manufacturer, I'm not a dealer.

Skyler: [shocked] Oh...

Walter: Per se. I...it doesn't mean... [Skyler gets up and heads to the door] No, Skyler! Listen to me, Skyler! [Walter grabs her arm] Listen.

Skyler: No!

Walter: There are a lot of angles to this, OK? It's complicated, alright? So please listen. Please, let's just sit back down and we'll talk it through.

Skyler: I'm going to make you a deal, Walt. I won't tell Hank and I won't tell your children or anybody else. Nobody will hear it from me, but only if you grant me this divorce and stay out of our lives.

Walter: No, Skyler...

Skyler: I mean it. Now let me the hell out of here before I throw up.

Jesse: You either run from things or you face them, Mr. White.

Walter: Now what exactly does that mean?

Jesse: I learned it in rehab. It's all about accepting who you really are. I accept who I am.

Walter: And who are you?

Jesse: I'm the bad guy.

Walter: [to Gus] I'm here because I owe you the courtesy and respect to tell you this personally. I'm done. It has nothing to do with you personally. I find you extraordinarily professional and I appreciate the way you do business. I'm just...I'm making a change in my life is what it is, and I'm at something of a crossroads and it's brought me to a realization: I'm not a criminal. No offense to any people who are, but...this is not me.

Caballo sin Nombre [3.02][edit]

Walter: God...It's a disaster.

Saul: It is not a disaster. It's not a disaster, alright? She's not going to the cops, she's not telling a living soul. You wanna know why? One word: blowback. If she blabs, it'll be a disaster – for her. That DEA brother-in-law? Screwed! You were right under his nose. He'll be lucky if they let him bust glue sniffers at the hobby shop. The kids? Paging Dr. Phil! "My daddy's a drug dealer and my mommy turned him in!" And the house? Gone! The feds will come in and RICO her and the kids out on the street. Good luck arguing with them on that, noooo. It's not gonna happen. She's bluffing. And she knows it.

Mike: [answering the phone] Yeah?

Saul: It's me. [about Skyler] We may have a wife problem.

Hank: Sky, the, um...I know it's none of my business, but uh...keeping him away from the kids?

Skyler: You're right, Hank. It's not your business.

Walter: Skyler...I mean, what kind of example do we wanna set here, right? I mean, can't we at least just sit down and eat a piece of pizza together? Just hash things out like adults?

Skyler: We have discussed everything we need to discuss. I thought I made myself very clear.

Walter: ...I've got dipping sticks.

[The Pinkmans just sold Jesse's old house at a much lower price to an unknown person who knew about Jesse's meth lab]

Mr. Pinkman: Breaking even is not so bad. In this economy, a lot of people would kill to break even.

Mrs. Pinkman: Poor Jake had his heart set on going to Space Camp.

[Jesse pulls up in his car]

Mrs. Pinkman: Oh no.

Mr. Pinkman: God, this is all we need.

Jesse: Mom. Dad. How's it going?

[Jesse walks to the house]

Mr. Pinkman: Jesse, it's really not a good time.

Mrs. Pinkman: Jesse, the house has been sold. The new owners are expected at any moment. Where do you think you're going?

Jesse: [jingles the key] Inside. I bought the place.

I.F.T. [3.03][edit]

Juan: Don Salamanca had a nephew named Tuco.

Gus: Yes, I knew of him.

Juan: Then perhaps you know Don Salamanca mentored him in the business. Thought of Tuco as a son. When Don Salamanca was no longer able, Tuco took over for his uncle. He was a key man in our organization north of the border. He was loyal. This "Heisenberg" – Walter White – he was one of Tuco's local suppliers. Until he betrayed Tuco. So now you see...blood must be repaid by blood. Tuco's cousins here...they have the right to exact vengeance. The Salamanca family, the cartel...everyone stands shoulder to shoulder on this.

[Hector rings the bell in affirmation]

Juan: I don't tell you how to fry your chickens, Gustavo. You should really leave matters of my organization's politics to me.

Gus: Do I not run my own territory?

Juan: Of course you do. And I will advise them to be patient. But I recommend you finish your business with the man quickly. Or you risk losing the good graces of the cartel. That would not be wise. And those boys inside, I cannot guarantee that they will listen. They are...not like you and I.

[Her lawyer advises Skyler to report Walt to police.]

Skyler: Walt has lung cancer. His treatment bought him some time, but the doctors, they all say that sooner or later... I can't see why I should lay all this on my family when things may...resolve themselves on their own without anyone else knowing.

Walter: I've done a terrible thing. But I've done it for a good reason. I did it for us. That [points to the duffel bag of money] is college tuition for Walter Jr. And Holly, eighteen years down the road. And it's health insurance for you and the kids. For Jr.'s physical therapy. His SAT tutor. It's money for groceries, gas, for birthdays and graduation parties. Skyler, that money is for this roof over your head. The mortgage that you are not going to be able to afford on a part-time bookkeeper's salary when I'm gone.

Skyler: Walt, I–

Walter: Please. Please. This money, I didn't steal it. It doesn't belong to anyone else. I earned it. The things I've...done to earn it...they...the things I've had to do...I've got to live with them. Skyler, all that I've done, all the sacrifices that I've made for this family, all of it, will be for nothing if you don't accept what I've earned. Please. I'll be here when you get home from work. You can give me your answer then.

Skyler: I fucked Ted.

Green Light [3.04][edit]

[Saul and Mike are listening to a recording of Walter and Skyler fighting]

Walter: You think this will get me to move out? You can screw Ted, you can screw the butcher, the mailman, whoever you want! Screw all! I'm not going anywhere.

Skyler: Suit yourself.

Saul: Is this a good or bad thing?

Walter: Suit myself...You want me to suit myself?! I'll suit myself to his face!

Saul: It's a bad thing.

Walter: How did you know?

Saul: I'm sorry?

Walter: About Skyler. About where to find me just now. How did you know?

Saul: That's just my meticulousness. Don't bog down in detail, Walt. The lesson here–

Walter: Did you bug my house?

Saul: ...Yeah. But I didn't know it was your house, did I? You moved out. Besides, you basically told me to.

Walter: I told you to?

Saul: You strongly hinted that I should. You were worried about your wife, remember? You were concerned that she might say something to the police.

Walter: No, no, that's not true. When the hell did I say that?

Saul: Let's not get lost in the who, whats and whens. The point is we did our due diligence and she didn't talk. She kept quiet, she stood by you, Walt. Which, if you ask me, is the ironical silver lining here. I mean, on the one hand, sure, she snuck off the reservation to get some dirty damp and deep. On the other–

[Walter grabs Saul and the two begin struggling on the floor. Mike rolls his eyes, strolls over to them and breaks it up]

Walter: YOU'RE FIRED! YOU'RE DONE!

Saul: Good! "Oh boo-hoo, I won't cook meth anymore!" You're a crybaby! Who needs you?! Hey, I'm unplugging the website, so no more money laundering! How do you like that?!

Walter: I want those bugs out of my house today! I want them out now!

Saul: You just bought a $300 suit, psycho!

Hank: [interrogating a meth head] So...let me get this straight, Russell. You got this meth from "some dude" wearing khaki pants, who – you're 80% sure – had a mustache. And that's it? That's your brain working at full capacity?

Walter: This is very shoddy work, Pinkman. I'm actually embarrassed for you.

Jesse: What? No way. I gave out samples and everyone said it was the bomb.

Walter: Oh, they said it was the bomb? And who are they, I wonder? A bunch of meth heads?

Jesse: Yeah, and they should know, right?

Walter: Yeah, well, sorry. I can't help you.

Jesse: Fine, asswad. You know what? I'll contact the guy myself.

Walter: Oh yeah? Well, good luck because my guy's a pro and he doesn't deal with junkies.

Jesse: Hey, you know what? Eat me!

Walter: Anytime, loser!

Mike: The good news is for stage three cancer, the guy's doing well. Physically. Mentally, the guy's a disaster. He's gone off the rails over this thing with his wife. My opinion: he's not coming back. Not on his own. Your friends were at his place again, by the way. They drew something on the street outside his house. The Scythe.

Gus: Animals... Does the lawyer know?

Mike: Should he?

Gus: No.

Mike: If you want this guy to produce again, why not just tell him? You're the only thing that stands between him and an axe to the head.

Gus: I do not believe fear to be an effective motivator. I want investment. For now, I'm simply interested in time frame. He will live for the foreseeable future, yes?

Mike: Hmm, foreseeable. Couple of years at least, barring acts of God or men with axes.

Más [3.05][edit]

Skinny Pete: That was... [vomits] ...awesome, bro.

Gus: I am told his product was more or less consistent with the quality I come to expect.

Walter: More or less? More or less, really? Wow. Boy this... Talk about setting the bar low. Except you don't do that, set the bar low. Therefore, what conclusion am I left to draw? That you believe I have some proprietary kind of selfishness about my own formula? Some sort of overweening pride that you think simply overwhelms me, clouds my judgment?

Gus: But it doesn't?

Walter: Absolutely not. I simply respect the chemistry. The chemistry must be respected.

Walter: I have made a series of very bad decisions and I cannot make another one.

Gus: Why did you make these decisions?

Walter: For the good of my family.

Gus: Then they weren't bad decisions. What does a man do, Walter? A man provides for his family.

Walter: This cost me my family.

Gus: When you have children, you always have family. They will always be your priority, your responsibility. And a man, a man provides. And he does it even when he's not appreciated or respected or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he's a man.

Saul: Clearly a mistake was made on the part of our mutual associate when he paid you half of Jesse's earnings. He must not have realized that you two had come to a parting of the ways.

[Walter places a paper bag filled with the money on the desk]

Walter: Take it. It belongs to you.

Jesse: You're damn right it belongs to me.

Saul: I knew I could count on you boys to play nice! That's...that almost brings a tear to my eye.

Walter: Enjoy it. Spend it in good health. That is the last money you'll ever earn in this business.

Jesse: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Walter: I hate to break it you, Jesse, but our "mutual associate" was only using you to get to me.

Jesse: What are you talking about?

Walter: You see, he needs someone with expertise. Someone who knows what he's doing. In other words, he needs me.

Jesse: You're telling me you're cooking again?

Walter: Yeah, how should I put this? I'm in...you're out.

Saul: Whoa, Walt, hold on there! What was the offer, if I may ask?

Walter: It's, uh, three million for three months of my time.

Saul: You're gonna need that money laundered, right? I mean, of course. What was our deal before? Seventeen percent. That's a shade high. Now let's settle on an even fifteen. That's a nice round number.

Walter: Five percent.

Saul: Fourteen's fair.

Walter: Five.

Saul: Thirteen.

Walter: Five.

Saul: Twelve, for old time's sake. Twelve.

Walter: Five.

Saul: I'm a reasonable guy, it's a short term deal. Ten even, but I can't go any lower and still respect myself. [Walter turns to leave] Five!

Jesse: What in the hell just happened? You're MY lawyer, not his!

Saul: It's the way of the world, kid. Go with the winner.

Sunset [3.06][edit]

Badger: That is awesome, Jesse! I feel like somebody took my brain out and boiled it in, like, boiling hot, like...like, Anthrax.

Walter: Listen, we got a problem. A DEA problem.

Saul: OK, I'm listening.

Walter: It's my brother-in-law. He knows about the RV.

Saul: What RV?

Walter: Our RV. The one which contains a meth lab which is covered with my fingerprints. Ring a bell?

Saul: OK, what exactly does "knows about" mean? Does he have it? Has he searched it?

Walter: No, he knows it exists and he's trying to find it. He has linked it to Jesse and it's only a matter of time before he tracks it down, so...

Saul: So get rid of it! What are you sitting there talking to me? Better yet, have Pinkman get rid of it. You don't go near it.

Walter: No, listen, my brother-in-law, he is surveying Jesse's house, do you understand? So he might have tapped his phones or bugged his house.

Saul: Jesus. Plan A, then! Go, get to it before the feds do.

Walter: And do what exactly? I mean, what...the thing, the thing is the size of a, of a...It's RV size! I mean, where do I go to make an RV disappear? I'm not David Copperfield!

Saul: What do I look like – the RV disposal people? Did you not plan for this contingency?

Walter: No.

Saul: Well, next time plan for it, would ya? The Starship Enterprise had a self-destruct button. I'm just saying.

Walter: OK, aw, shut up.

Walter: [whispering to Jesse what to say to Hank] Private domicile and I won't be harassed.

Hank: Yeah? Tell you what Pinkman, probable cause or no, I'll give you three seconds to get your ass out here! 1, 2...

Jesse: This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed...bitch!

[Walter shrugs in frustration and shakes his head]

Jesse: I say we just ram him, alright? We, uh, we...we start her up and we just ram the shit out of his truck and make our escape, right? [Walter waves him off] Yeah, he'd, uh...he'd shoot me in the head. Yeah, he'd shoot me in the head.

Gus: I told you before. You will not kill Walter White. Not until my business with him is concluded.

Marco: We've waited long enough. We won't wait any longer.

Gus: You'll have to. The decision is not yours to make. Explain to me...why this man White? He betrayed your cousin Tuco, yes. But he's not the one who murdered him. Was there not another man who pulled the trigger?

Marco: A DEA agent. Bolsa says the DEA is off-limits.

Gus: North of the border is my territory. My say. As a show of respect...I say yes. The agent's name is Hank Schrader. May his death satisfy you.

One Minute [3.07][edit]

Walter: So what happens now?

Jesse: What happens now? I'll tell you what happens now. Your scumbag brother-in-law is finished. Done. You understand? I will own him when this is over. Every cent he earns, every cent his wife earns is mine. Any place he goes, anywhere he turns, I'm gonna be there grabbing my share. He'll be scrubbing toilets in Tijuana for pennies and I'll be standing over him to get my cut. He'll see me when he wakes up in the morning and when he crawls to sleep in whatever rat hole is left for him after I shred his house down. I will haunt his crusty ass forever until the day he sticks a gun up his mouth and pulls the trigger just to get me out of his head. That's what happens next.

[Hank is being investigated for beating up Jesse]

Hank Schrader: ...I was convinced that Mr. Pinkman was involved in the manufacture and distribution of phenyl-2 methamphetamine, specifically what we're calling the blue meth. I tracked him to a scrapyard where he stored an early-'80s camper, an RV. While waiting for a warrant to search this vehicle, which I believe to be a rolling meth lab, I received a telephone call telling me my wife Marie had been injured in an accident. Upon hearing the news, I left Mr. Pinkman and his vehicle to tend to my wife. After arriving at the hospital, I learned the emergency call was a hoax. My wife, fortunately, was unharmed. [clears throat] So I immediately went back to the salvage yard, but the RV was gone, most likely destroyed on site.

Detective #1: And it was at this point you drove to the home of Jesse Pinkman? [Hank's lawyer whispers something to him]

Hank's Lawyer: I think we're done here. Agent Schrader needs to get home to get some rest.

Detective #1: That's fine. But just to confirm, you're taking the Fifth here?

Hank Schrader: Yeah, that's correct.

Detective #2: Okay. Well, we just wanna give you all a heads up. Mr. Pinkman is pressing charges in this matter. He's given a detailed version of events as he sees them.

Hank's Lawyer: The word of a methhead.

Detective #1: We know all about his history. We're well aware, but toxicology on Pinkman...his blood is clean, he's not using.

Detective #2: The kid is even refusing his doctor-ordered pain meds, as far as we can tell.

Hank Schrader: So, um, where do we go from here?

George Merkert: A couple of gentlemen from OPR will come down, probably tomorrow morning. Janice will give us an exact time on that. [To the AQPD detectives] And you men will be continuing your investigation, so, thanks for your time. [They all stand up]

Detective #1: Right. We just need one more thing: A photo of Agent Schrader's hands. For the record.

Hank Schrader: Yes, of course. [He looks at his right wrist]

Detective #1: Bandage off, if you would. [Hanks takes off the bandage]

Detective #2: On the table is fine. Flat on the table. That's fine. [Hank puts his right hand on the table and the detective takes a picture of the bruises on the right hand]

[The Cousins pull up to a semi truck parked in a deserted parking lot to meet with an arms dealer]

Arms Dealer: So, you the gentlemen? [The Cousins say nothing. The arms dealer opens the back doors to the trailer] Lucky you boys caught me. I've got a load to pick up, I'm taking the 40 straight through to Memphis! I can hammer it out in about 15, but there's this girl down here named Laney or Lolly or somethin'. Maybe Fran. Anyhow, she's got one of these fetish things, she likes to get peed on, y'know, so I was hoping to see her tonight, but she's real strict 'bout wanting to get to sleep before 10, so I wanna wrap it up here ASAP because traffic can be a wild card, y'know, rubberneckin' and such. [He starts taking off the tarps covering the crates containing his weapons] Surprising thing is the women who like to get peed on always tend to be from the warmer climates. You'd think the ones in the colder zones would be more inclined but I haven't met one yet. I mean, it's a shock to the system if the body is not properly acclimated, but y'know...leave that for smarter minds than me. Science is a mystery. [He looks up at the Cousins] Well, take a gander. Prices are negotiable. Buying in bulk gets you a discount. I'm running a special on these honeys. [The dealer walks over to a crate that contains a bunch of bullets, one of which he picks up] JHPs. Hollow-point bullets, known by the natives as "Black Death". Check it out. [He tosses it to Marco] You like that? It's so sweet, you'll wanna lick it! Nickel-plated brass casing, Lubalox coat for panache. Sucker has six razor claws that expand upon impact! PEW! [It'll] Shred your mama's head like a cabbage. [Marco considers then starts to hand it back to the dealer] Keep it. On the house. [Marco puts the Black Death bullet in his pocket] Anyhow, I've been windjamming long enough. Why don't you boys tell me what you're looking for. What it is you want, what is it you need? What can I do you for?

Leonel Salamanca: Vests.

Arms Dealer: Vests? Hell yeah, we've got vests! Right here. [He grabs two bulletproof vests from a satchel] Sleek, comfortable, thermally bonded, non-interwoven Kevlar fiber. Stop a bullet like a soft wang against a Quaker girl! It just ain't getting through. And lightweight? Damn, so lightweight, you'll forget you're wearing it! [He tosses the vests, which hit the floor in front of the Cousins]

Marco Salamanca: Do they work?

Arms Dealer: Sure as shit, they do! [He unbuttons the top button on his shirt to reveal that he's wearing an identical bulletproof vest] I don't leave home without it!

[Leonel promptly pulls out his pistol and shoots the arms dealer in the exposed section of the vest. The arms dealer is knocked to the ground by the impact of the bullet]

Arms Dealer: Ugh! Ow! What the hell?! You...broke my freaking rib, you maniac son of a bitch!

[As the arms dealer groans in pain, Marco steps forward and looks at the spot where Leonel's bullet hit the vest. He pulls out the bullet and shows it to Leonel, who nods in approval. Marco reaches into his pocket and counts out a stack of $100 bills, which he drops in the dealer's lap. Leonel and Marco then slowly walk out of the truck]

Arms Dealer: You're welcome!

Marie: You made one mistake.

Hank: It wasn't one mistake. I've been...unraveling, y'know? I don't sleep at night anymore. I freeze, I freeze up. My chest gets all tight, I can't breathe. Just...I panic. Ever since that Salamanca thing. Tuco Salamanca, if ever a scumbag deserved a bullet between the eyes... It changed me and I can't seem to control it. I try to fight it, but then El Paso. It just got worse. What I did to Pinkman...that's not who I'm supposed to be. All this, everything that's happened, I swear to God, Marie, I think the universe is trying to tell me something and I'm finally ready to listen. I'm just not the man I thought I was. I think I'm done as a cop.

Walter: Listen, something's come up. I think it's a good opportunity. There's been a job opening. I need a new lab assistant.

Jesse: I did... my time. Why don't you just get yourself a monkey?

Walter: I don't want a monkey. I want you.

Jesse: Oh, gee, thanks. Well, not interested. I got my own thing going on. And nice try saving your asshat brother-in-law.

Walter: That's not why I'm here, Jesse. There's more. It's more than an assistant. Partners. We'd be partners again. Split everything, 50/50, just like before. 1.5 million dollars. Each.

Jesse: No.

Walter: I don't think you heard me.

Jesse: I heard you fine. I said no.

Walter: You understand this: you are turning down one and a half million dollars.

Jesse: I am not turning down the money! I'm turning down you! You get it?! I want nothing to do with you! Ever since I met you, everything I ever cared about is gone! Ruined, turned to shit, dead, ever since I hooked up with the great Heisenberg! I have never been more alone! I have NOTHING! NO ONE! ALRIGHT, IT'S ALL GONE, GET IT? No, no, no, why...why would you get it? What do you even care, as long as you get what you want, right? You don't give a shit about me! You said I was no good. I'm nothing! Why would you want me, huh? You said my meth is inferior, right? Right? Hey! You said my cook was GARBAGE! Hey, screw you, man! Screw you!

Walter: Your meth is good, Jesse. As good as mine.

[Hank is getting into his car when his cell phone rings]

Hank: Schrader.

Distorted Voice: I need you to listen very carefully. Two men are coming to kill you.

Hank: Come again?

Distorted Voice: They're approaching your car. You have one minute.

Hank: Hey, I don't get the gag, jackoff. Who is this?!

Distorted Voice: They're coming.

I See You [3.08][edit]

[Jesse gets his first look at Gus's superlab]

Jesse: Man, we should have ditched that RV months ago. It's all like shiny up in here.

Jesse: Hey, tell your douchebag brother-in-law to head towards the light.

Walter: Let me ask you something, do you remember when we were out in the desert with Tuco?

Jesse: Oh, you mean when he put a machine gun to my head. Yeah, I think that does ring a tiny bell.

[Walt confronts Gus in the hospital lobby]

Walter: You knew. You knew my brother-in-law was with the DEA.

Gus: I investigate everyone with whom I do business. What careful man wouldn't?

Walter: He is not a problem for us or our business, but your being here...is this some sort of message?

Gus: I'm supporting my community. I hide in plain sight, same as you. Are we done?

Walter: No, listen, I, uh...this attack on my brother-in-law, I don't understand it, I don't know what it means. Please, if you may have some knowledge that you can share with me. I fear for my family.

Gus: I'm sure they'll be fine. I am told the assassin that survived is gravely injured. It's doubtful he'll live. Now thank me and shake my hand.

[Gus is working the late shift at Los Pollos Hermanos when he gets a phone call from Juan Bolsa]

Gus: Yes, Juan?

Juan: I assume you heard the news.

Gus: Your man died. I heard. It's unfortunate.

Juan: Yeah, unfortunate. And meanwhile I have federales surrounding my house. You know what I think, Gustavo? I think you're behind all this.

Gus: Why would I do this? How would it serve me?

Juan: That's the part that I'm trying to figure out. Go off on your own, maybe? You actually think that would work?

Gus: Juan, you sound like you're under a lot of stress. Maybe you should call me back when you're seeing things more clearly.

Juan: I see things clear enough. One DEA gets shot, all of Washington starts barking. The DF suddenly has to put on a big show and I wind up with federales in my rose bushes. And just for a while, appearances, politics... Are you still there, Gustavo?

Gus: Yes, I'm here.

Juan: I'll weather this. I always do. My brother is a police chief. I got connections. They'll get me through. And when I get proof and the others find out what you've done, maybe we come pay you a visit. Maybe–

[Glass shatters. Juan and his men begin shouting and run to the source of the noise but they are gunned down on sight. Gus listens eagerly, smiles, breaks apart his phone and throws it away]

Kafkaesque [3.09][edit]

Hank: Gomie? Is that you?

Gomez: Hey, buddy. It's me.

Hank: Nice to see ya, Gomie.

Gomez: Yeah, Hank. I'm right here.

Hank: Come here...closer... [Gomez leans in] Asshole.

Walter Jr.: Man, he got you good.

Gomez: Yeah, yeah. Glad to see you still have your twisted sense of humor.

Jesse: [Describing his work in Gustavo's secret meth lab to his rehab group] Been working a lot...It's in a laundromat, it's totally corporate...It's like rigid, all kinds of red tape, my boss is a dick, the owner, super dick, don't know if we're ever going to meet him, everybody's scared of the dude. Place is full of dead-eyed douchebags, the hours suck, and nobody knows what's going on.

Walter: My brother-in-law, moments before he was attacked, someone called to warn him. I believe that same person was protecting me. Those two men – the assassins – I believe I was their prime target, but that somehow they were steered away from me to my brother-in-law. Because of this intervention, I am alive, and yet, I think that this person was playing a much deeper game. He made that phone call because he wanted a shootout, not a silent assassination. In one stroke, he bloodied both sides, set the American and Mexican governments against the cartel, and cut off the supply of methamphetamine to the Southwest. If this man had his own source of product on this side of the border, he would have the market to himself. The rewards would be enormous. We're both adults. I can't pretend I don't know that person is you. I want there to be no confusion. I know I owe you my life, and more than that, I respect the strategy. In your position, I would have done the same. One issue which troubles me: I don't know what happens when our three month contract ends.

Gus: What would you like then?

Walter: You know why I do this. I want security for my family.

Gus: Then you have it. Three million for three months, that was our agreement. Extended annually, twelve million a year. Call it fifteen. Open ended. Would that be agreeable?

Marie: Hi.

Ted: Hi.

Skyler: Marie, this is Ted. My boss.

Marie: Oh, you're Ted! I've heard so much about you. Thank you for your gift basket. That was really thoughtful.

Skyler: It was. It was really nice. Thank you, Ted.

Marie: Cheese sticks.

Skyler: Cheese sticks.

Jesse: What's the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities?

Badger: Darth Vader had responsibilities. He was responsible for the Death Star.

Skinny Pete: True that. Two of them bitches.

[Skyler has concocted an elaborate lie involving gambling addiction to convince Marie to let her and Walt pay for Hank's medical expenses.]

Walter: How did you come up with that? I mean, where did you possibly...?

Skyler: I learnt from the best. Somehow, something tells me Hank is here because of you. And I'm not forgetting that.

Fly [3.10][edit]

Walter: There's been a contamination.

Jesse: Wait, what? Whoa, hey, hold up!

Walter: Something got into the lab.

Jesse: So, uh, what do we do? I mean, do we...wait, wait! Shouldn't we be wearing masks?

Walter: No, no, it's not that kind of contaminant.

Jesse: So it's, like, not dangerous? Mr. White, talk to me here!

Walter: Not to us, particularly, no.

Jesse: [noticing Walter's homemade fly swatter] What the hell is that?

Walter: This is, uh, I made it.

Jesse: Exactly what kind of contaminant are we dealing with here?

Walter: ...Fly.

Jesse: What do you mean? Fly, like...like what do you mean?

Walter: I mean, a fly. A housefly.

Jesse: Like, uh, one fly? Singular? What'd it do?

Walter: It got into the lab and I'm trying to get it out, okay? Understand?

Jesse: No, man, not really. I can't say that I'm really following you here. Dude, you scared the shit out of me! When you say it's contamination, I'm thinking like an Ebola leak or something.

Walter: [scoffs] Ebola.

Jesse: Yeah, it's a disease on the Discovery Channel where all your intestines sort of just slip right out of your butt.

Walter: Thank you, I know what Ebola is.

Jesse: Uh-huh.

Walter: Now tell me, what would a West African virus be doing in our lab, hm?

Jesse: So, you're chasing around a fly, and in your world I'm the idiot.

Walter: Okay, look, we're running late, so let's just get started. The sooner we do it, the sooner we're done.

Jesse: Fricking finally. [Jesse grabs a sack and just as he's about to put in the tank, Walt stops him]

Walter: What are you doing?

Jesse: It's time to alkaline.

Walter: Have you not heard a word I said? No cooking until this fly is dealt with. Have I been speaking to myself?

Jesse: The timer went off, yo! How long is this batch gonna be good for? An hour? Two?

Walter: The batch will be good for nothing if we don't clear the contaminant.

Jesse: "Clear the contaminant?!" We're making meth here, all right? Not space shuttles!

Walter: We're making nothing until we catch this fly.

Jesse: What fly? All right? Where the hell is this fly? Not like I even seen thes thing! Maybe your positive pressure blew it out the door or something.

Walter: No, no. It is here. It is around, okay? He's around, and I'm not going to expose this batch to the open air and contamination, period. Now, you can leave to deal with this myself or you can help me. But you're right, we're running out of time. So I need you to answer right now. [Jesse drops the sack and walks off] Okay.

Jesse: Did you know that there's an acceptable level of rat turds that can go into candy bars? It's the government, jack. Even government doesn't care that much about quality. You know what is okay to put in hot dogs? Huh? Pig lips and assholes. But I say, hey, have at it bitches 'cause I love hot dogs.

Walter: I've been to my oncologist, Jesse. Just last week. I'm still in remission. I'm healthy.

Jesse: That's good. Great.

Walter: No end in sight.

Jesse: That's great.

Walter: No. I missed it. There was some perfect moment that passed me right by, but I had to have enough to leave them. That was the whole point. None of this makes any sense if I didn't have enough. And it had to be before she found out. Skyler. It had to be before that.

Jesse: Perfect moment? For what? To drop dead? Are you saying you want to die?

Walter: I'm saying that I lived too long. You want them to actually miss you. You want their memories of you to be...but she just won't...she just won't understand. I mean, no matter how well I explain it, these days she just has this...this... I mean, I truly believe there exists some combination of words. There must exist certain words in a certain specific order that can explain all of this, but with her I just can't ever seem to find them.

Jesse: Mr. White, why don't you just sit down.

Walter: You know, I was thinking before the fugue state, but during the fugue state I didn't have enough money, so no, not then. And plus my daughter wasn't born yet. It had to be after Holly was born.

Jesse: Mr. White...

Walter: Definitely before the surgery. Ah Christ, that damn second cell phone. I mean, how could I possibly? [pause] Oh, I know the moment. It was the night Jane died. I was at home and we needed diapers and so I said I'd go, but it was just an excuse. Actually that was the night I brought you your money, remember?

Jesse: Yeah. I remember.

Walter: And afterward I stopped at a bar. It was odd, I never do that – go to a bar alone. I just walked in, sat down. I never told you.

Jesse: You went to a bar?

Walter: I sit down and this man, this stranger, he engages me in conversation. He's a complete stranger. But he turns out to be Jane's father, Donald Margolis.

Jesse: What are you talking about?

Walter: Of course I didn't know it at the time. I mean, he's just some guy in a bar. I just didn't put it together until after the crash when he was all over the news.

Jesse: Jane's dad?

Walter: Think of the odds. Once I tried to calculate them, but they're astronomical. I mean, think of the odds of me going in and sitting down that night, in that bar, next to that man.

Jesse: What'd you talk about?

Walter: Water on Mars. Family.

Jesse: What about family?

Walter: I told him that I had a daughter and he told me he had one, too. And he said, "Never give up on family." And I didn't. I took his advice. My God, the universe is random; it's not inevitable, it's simple chaos. It's subatomic particles and endless pings, collision – that's what science teaches us. What does this say? What is it telling us that the very night that this man's daughter dies, it's me who is having a drink with him? I mean, how could that be random?

[Walter stumbles, starting to succumb to the sleeping pills]

Jesse: Hey, sit down.

Walter: No, no, it's, uh... Oh, that was the moment. That night. I should never have left home. Never gone to your house. Maybe things would have... Oh, I was...I was at home watching TV. Some nature program about elephants...and Skyler and Holly were in another room. I can hear them on the baby monitor. She was singing a lullaby. Oh, if I had just lived right up to that moment...and not one second more. That would have been perfect.

Walter: Jesse. Come here. I couldn't chance saying it inside, for all I know the lab's wired for sound. That half a pound that I said we were off by? Now I'm not accusing you, but if – you understand – if they ever found out...

Jesse: I didn't take shit.

Walter: I'm just saying that I won't be able to protect you.

Jesse: Who's asking you to?

Abiquiu [3.11][edit]

Marie: You can do this, Hank. Come on. It's supposed to hurt. Pain is weakness leaving your body.

Hank: Pain is my foot in your ass, Marie.

Marie: Hey, if you could get your leg up that high, I say go for it.

Jesse: Alright, just wanted to give you a heads up, it's gonna get a little slower smuggling product with Grandpa Anus watching every move I make. Don't worry, I'll keep it flowing.

Skinny Pete: Right on.

Badger: Yeah.

Jesse: So how's it selling? Mad volume?

Badger: Yeah, it's, uh...y'know, it's, uh...it's not so good.

Jesse: What do you mean? How much have you sold?

Badger: I sold a teenth.

Jesse: One teenth? That's it? To who?

Badger: [motions to Skinny Pete] To him.

Saul: Hello. Welcome. What a pleasure it is to have you. Just gonna call you Skyler if that's okay. It's a lovely name. It reminds me of the big, beautiful sky. Walter always told me how lucky he was, prior to recent unfortunate events. Clearly his taste in women is the same as his taste in lawyers: only the very best with just the right amount of dirty.

Saul: We declare just enough so as to not arouse suspicion, so Walt's one time winnings becomes seed money for an investment.

Skyler: Investment in what?

Saul: Drum roll, please. Wait for it. Laser tag. [silence] Laser tag! 7,000 square feet of rollicking fun in the heart of northern Bernalillo County!

Skyler: Laser tag?

Saul: Yeah, there's guns and glow lights, and the kids wear the vests and they're split into teams...

Skyler: No, I actually know what it is, it's just that in relation to Walt, it doesn't make sense.

Saul: Makes more sense than you two being together. I'm still trying to figure out how that happened.

Skyler: Do you even know Walt? I mean, how would he of all people buy a laser tag business? It doesn't add up.

Saul: It adds up perfectly. Walt's a scientist, scientists love lasers. Plus, they got bumper boats, so...

Gus: Walter, I would like to help you if I could.

Walter: Help me how?

Gus: Well, when I first started out, I made a lot of mistakes. More than I care to admit. I wish I had someone to advise me, because this life of ours, it can overwhelm. You are a wealthy man now, and one must learn to be rich. To be poor, anyone can manage.

Walter: What advice do you have for me?

Gus: Never make the same mistake twice.

Half Measures [3.12][edit]

[Walt and Jesse discuss the situation about Combo's killers at a bar]

Jesse: Combo was us, man. He was one of us. Does that mean nothing?

Walter: Why didn't you go after these guys two or three months ago?

Jesse: 'Cause I just found out about them.

Walter: What's to find out? It's a dispute over turf, right? I mean, how hard could it have been for you to track them down on their turf and kill them months ago? Because back then you were too busy getting high, feeling sorry. Murder is not part of your twelve-step program. This is not some amends that you have to make. What you are talking about here is pointless. This achieves nothing. It accomplishes nothing.

Jesse: If you don't see what it accomplishes, there is no way I can explain it you.

Walter: Jesse, listen to me: you are not a murderer. I am not and you are not. It's as simple as that. [Jesse gets up to leave] Jesse...

Jesse: I'm doing it...with or without you.

[Walt talks with Saul about options to keep Jesse from killing the dealers who killed Combo]

Walter: Maybe...What if we, uh...maybe...could you get him arrested?

Saul: You want your criminal associate taken into police custody?

Walter: No, listen, I know it sounds risky, but it wouldn't be anything that would get him into real trouble, nothing that could lead back to our business. Just some minor offense.

Saul: Pinkman in jail. I dunno, I'm picturing it...

Walter: Not jail, as in jail jail. I'm talking about one of those situations when you're in an orange jumpsuit picking up litter along the highway.

Saul: That's jail.

[Walt is tending to Holly when he gets a late night visit from Mike]

Walter: What can I do for you?

Mike: Have a seat, Walter. I spoke to Goodman about Pinkman and this plan of yours.

Walter: And?

Mike: I'm not gonna do it.

Walter: Why?

Mike: Because it's moronic.

Walter: Saul said you've done things like this before.

Mike: That's not the moronic part.

Walter: OK, so what's the problem?

Mike: The problem is the boss wouldn't like it.

Walter: Saul?

Mike: My boss. Your boss. This is a professional courtesy. No one knows I'm here, understand? But our employer would find out like always, and if Pinkman were arrested, he'd take it as a problem. Walt, you got a good thing going here. We all do. You want to risk it all on one junkie? Now I realize you two have a history, but this kid's been on the bubble a while now. It's a long time coming.

Walter: What is?

Mike: [Chuckles] Um... I used to be a beat cop, long time ago. And I'd get called out on domestic disputes all the time, hundreds probably over the years. But there was this one guy, this one piece of shit, that I will never forget: Gordy. He looked like Bo Svenson. You remember him? Walking Tall? You don't remember?

Walter: No.

Mike: Anyway. Big boy; 270, 280. But his wife, or whatever she was, his lady, was real small. Like a bird, wrists like little branches. Anyway, my partner and I get called out there every weekend and one of us would pull her aside and say, "C'mon, tonight's the night we press charges." And this wasn't one of those 'deep down he really loves me' setups, we got a lot of those, but not this. This girl was scared. She wasn't gonna cross him no way, no how. Nothing we could do but pass her off to the EMTs, put him in the car, drive him downtown, throw him in the drunk tank. He sleeps it off, next morning out he goes, back home. But one night, my partner's out sick and it's just me. And the call comes in and it's the usual crap. Broke her nose in the shower kind of thing. So I cuff him, put him in the car and away we go. Only that night, we're driving into town, and this sideways asshole is in my backseat humming 'Danny Boy'. And it just rubbed me wrong. So instead of left, I go right, out into nowhere. And I kneel him down and I put my revolver in his mouth and I told him, "This is it. This is how it ends." And he's crying, going to the bathroom all over himself, swearing to God he's gonna leave her alone, screaming – much as you can with a gun in your mouth. And I told him to be quiet, that I needed to think about what I was gonna do here. And of course he got quiet. Goes still, and real quiet, like a dog waiting for dinner scraps. And we just stood there for a while: me acting like I'm thinking things over, and Prince Charming kneeling in the dirt with shit in his pants. After a few minutes I took the gun out of his mouth and I say; "So help me if you ever touch her again I will such and such and such and such and blah blah blah blah blah".

Walter: Just... just a warning?

Mike: Hmph. Of course. Just trying to do the right thing. But two weeks later he killed her. Of course. Caved her head in with the base of a Waring blender. We got there, there was so much blood you could taste the metal. The moral of the story is, I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I'll never make that mistake again. [stands up] No more half measures, Walter.

[Gus has summoned Walt, Jesse, and the rival dealers to a meeting at the Los Pollos Hermanos distribution center]

Gus: Sit down. I understand that you have a problem with two of my employees. It is true that they killed one of your associates. It is possible they acted rashly, but on the other hand there was a provocation. The man was selling on their territory. There is blame on both sides. This will go no further. It will be settled right here, right now.

Jesse: [to Walter] You told him?

Gus: [to the two dealers] Wait outside. [the two dealers leave and Gus turns to Jesse] Listen to me. You have one friend in this room. [points to Walter] This man. Those men outside are my trusted employees, and when I learned what you intended to do... If it wasn't for this man and the respect I have for him, I would be dealing with this in a very different way. Don't look at him, you look at me. This is what happens now: My men will come back inside and you will shake their hands and you will make peace and that will be the end of this.

Jesse No.

Walter: Jesse... [Gus motions for Walter to be quiet]

Gus: Pardon me?

Jesse: They use kids. These assholes of yours, they got an 11-year old kid doing their killing for them. You're supposed to be some kind of reasonable business man, this is how you do business? [to Walter] You okay with this? You got anything to say here?!

Gus: Bring them back. [the two dealers come back inside] No more children. You understand? [to Jesse] And you, you keep the peace. [Jesse nods] Say it.

Jesse: Yeah. I keep the peace.

Gus: Shake hands.

[Jesse and the two dealers shake hands]

Walter: Run.

Full Measure [3.13][edit]

[Walt is out in the desert when a car pulls up. Walt's cell phone rings]

Walter White: [answers phone] Yeah?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Walter, you see us?

Walter White: Yeah, I see you.

Mike Ehrmantraut: I'd like you to exit your vehicle and start walking toward us.

Walter White: And then what? I'm gonna need some...some kind of assurance.

Mike Ehrmantraut: I assure you I could kill you from way over here if it makes you feel any better.

[Walt walks over to the car that has shown up. Mike gets out and approaches Walt]

Mike Ehrmantraut: Walter. You've been busy. You wanna put your arms out to your sides for me, if you would. [Walt does as he's told, standing as Mike gives him a pat-down] You know I haven't slept since Thursday? I was out all night cleaning up after you. I need my sleep.

Walter White: You said no half measures.

Mike Ehrmantraut: Yeah? Funny how words can be so open to interpretation. [The two of them walk towards the car] You get your car fixed?

Walter White: Not yet.

Mike Ehrmantraut: You're gonna wanna get your car fixed.

Walter White: Let's see how this goes first.

[Gus and Victor emerge from the Suburban]

Gus Fring: Has your condition worsened?

Walter White: Excuse me?

Gus Fring: Your medical condition, has it grown worse?

Walter White: Not that I know of, no.

Gus Fring: Is there a ringing in your ears? Are you seeing bright lights or hearing voices?

Walter White: I'm quite well, thank you.

Gus Fring: No. Clearly you are not. No rational person would do as you have done. Explain yourself.

Walter White: My partner was about to get himself shot. I intervened.

Gus Fring: Some worthless junkie. For him, you intervened and put us all at risk? Some contemptible junkie who couldn't keep the peace for eight hours?

Walter White: That's right, he couldn't. He was angry because those two dealers of yours had just murdered an 11-year old boy.

Gus Fring: I heard about it. He should have let me take care of it.

Walter White: Maybe. Then again maybe he thought it was you who gave the order.

Gus Fring: [acting offended] Are you asking me if I ordered the murder of a child?

Walter White: I would never ask you that.

Gus Fring: Where is Pinkman now?

Walter White: I wouldn't know. Couple of time zones away at least. Beyond that I'd only be guessing. He has enough money to last forever. He knows he has to keep moving. You'll never find him.

Mike Ehrmantraut: I don't know, Walt. It's what I do after all.

Walter White: He's out of the picture. I saved his life, I owed him that, but now he and I are done, which is exactly what you wanted, isn't it? You've always struck me as a very pragmatic man, so if I may, I would like to review options with you, of which, it seems to me, you have two. Option A: you kill me right here and now. Apparently I have made that very easy for you. You can kill me, no witnesses, and then spend the next few weeks or months tracking down Jesse Pinkman and you kill him, too. A pointless exercise, it seems to me, but that is option A.

Gus Fring: What is option B?

Walter White: I continue cooking. You and I both forget about Pinkman. We forget this ever happened. We consider this a lone hiccup in an otherwise long and fruitful business arrangement. I prefer option B.

Gus Fring: You'd need a new assistant. [Walt nods]

Walter White: I could get right on that.

Gus Fring: No. This time, I choose.

[Mike is trying to get Jesse's location from Saul]

Mike Ehrmantraut: Now when I say I'm looking for Pinkman, we both know why, don't we? And you pretending otherwise only wastes my time and serves to annoy me.

Saul Goodman: Look, Mike, there are rules to this lawyer thing.

Mike Ehrmantraut: Is that right?

Saul Goodman: Yeah! Attorney-client privilege. I mean, that's a big one. That's something I provide for you. I give up Pinkman, well, then you're gonna be asking, "Ol' Saul gives 'em up pretty easy. What's to keep him from giving me up?" Y'see, so, then where's the trust?

Mike Ehrmantraut: I trust the hole in the desert I'd leave you in.

Saul Goodman: Yeah, that's...an argument.

Mike Ehrmantraut: Saul, don't make me beat you until your legs don't work. Now tell me where to find him. You know it's the right thing.

[Walt secretly meets with Jesse in the laser tag arena]

Walter: How you holding up?

Jesse: Mm...You?

Walter: I got my old job back. At least until they kill me and Gale takes over.

Jesse: So he's their boy, huh?

Walter: He's their boy.

Jesse: How long you think you got?

Walter: Well, he asks a lot of questions about the cooking process. I try to be as vague as possible but I got that guy Victor watching me, listening to every word I say. Maybe the only thing saving me is Gale's fastidiousness. Once he feels confident that he knows my entire method...

Jesse: So what do we do?

Walter: You know what we do.

Jesse: There's got to be some other way. Maybe it's better for you to just go the cops, alright? I mean, I can't believe I'm saying that and all, but for your family. Hey, the DEA would love you, the shit you tell them. Federal Witness Protection, that's a good deal. As for me, I'll hit the road, yo. I'll make it. We had a good run...but it's over.

Walter: Never the DEA. The cooking can't stop. That's the one thing I'm certain of – production cannot stop. Gus can't afford to. So if I'm the only chemist that he's got, then I got leverage and leverage keeps me alive, and it keeps you alive, too. I think I can see to that. If I'm the only chemist that he's got...

Jesse: I can't do it, Mr. White. Like you said, I'm not a...I can't do it.

Walter: I'll do it. I'm gonna need your help. I mean, they're watching me day and night. They never leave me alone with Gale, not for a moment. Hell, I don't even know where the man lives. He's not in the phonebook, I can't find him on the Internet, I can't do it in the lab – Victor's always there. I mean, if I can just shake Victor, even an hour one night, I think then that...I may be able to...make it look like an accident.

Jesse: There's got to be some other way.

Walter: I'm all ears, but when it comes down to you and me versus him, I'm sorry – I'm truly sorry – but it's gonna be him.

Walter: Please don't do this. Mike, you don't have to do this.

Mike: Yeah, unfortunately I do, Walter. Downstairs.

Walter: I'll cook. I'll cook for free, and there won't be anymore trouble, I promise you...

Mike: No.

Walter: ...OK, if I could just talk to Gus...

Mike: No.

Walter: ...I know I could make him understand...

Mike: No. Walter...

Walter: ...Please if I could talk to Gus, I could convince him, OK? Just let me please, please, PLEASE let me talk to him!

Mike: SHUT UP! Shut up. I can't do it. I'm sorry.

Walter: Look, I'll give you Jesse Pinkman, OK? Like you said, he's the problem, he's always been the problem and without him, we would...and he's in town, alright? He's not in Virginia or wherever the hell you're looking for him. He's right here in Albuquerque and I can take you to him, I'll take you right to him. What do you say?

Mike: Where is he? Right now you give me an address.

Walter: I don't know, he moves around, but if you let me call him. [Walter reaches for his phone. Victor reaches for his gun] No, no, please! No, it's just my phone. It's just my phone. I'll call him and I'll have him meet me, OK? OK?

[Walter dials Jesse as Mike listens in closely]

Jesse: Did you do it? Mr. White? Did you do it?

Walter: No, I didn't do it. I can't now. It's gonna have to be you.

Jesse: What? No way, man!

Walter: Listen to me. You're closer than we are. You have about a 20 minute lead. They got me at the laundry and they're going to kill me... [Mike and Victor attempt to grab the phone away] Jesse, do it now! Do it! Do it fast! Do it, Jesse! Do it! [Jesse grabs a gun and runs outside. Mike grabs the phone away from Walter]

Victor: Son of a bitch!

[Mike and Victor point their guns at Walter]

Mike: Just what the hell was that exactly?

Walter: You might want to hold off.

Mike: Yeah? [cocks gun] Why?

Walter: Because your boss is gonna need me. 6353 Juan Tabo, apartment 6. [Gale's address. Mike and Victor look at each other, shocked] Yeah.

Season 4[edit]

Box Cutter [4.01][edit]

[Victor begins to cook a batch of meth on his own]

Walter: [quietly to Jesse] Bet he forgets the aluminum. Guarantee. Guarantee he forgets. [Victor pauses and thinks] Uh-huh. You don't know what the hell you're doing, do you? You forgot the aluminum. One of the first steps. [Victor grabs a bucket of aluminum and pours it into the batch] Son of a bitch.

Walter: Alright, let's talk about Gale Boetticher. He was a good man and a good chemist and I cared about him. He didn't deserve what happened to him. He didn't deserve it at all. But I'd shoot him again and tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. When you make it Gale versus me, or Gale versus Jesse, Gale loses! Simple as that. This is on you, Gus, not me, not Jesse. I mean really, what'd you expect me to do? Just simply roll over and allow you to murder us? That I wouldn't take measures – extreme measures – to defend myself? Wrong! Think again.

[Gus, who has changed into a lab jumpsuit, looms over Walter and Jesse with a box cutter]

Walter: Gus, you do this, all you'll have left is an $8 million hole in the ground. This lab, this equipment, is useless without us, without Jesse and myself. You'll have no new product, you'll have no income. Your people out there won't be paid. Your distribution chain collapses. You'll have nothing. You kill me, you have nothing. You kill Jesse, you don't have me. You won't do this. You're too smart. You can't afford to do this. Please let...let us just go back to work. We're here. Let us work. We're ready to go to work. We'll just pick up right where we left off.

[Gus grabs Victor and slices his throat open with the box cutter. After Victor falls to the floor dead, Gus calmly takes off the bloody jumpsuit and washes up. On his way out, he looks back down at them]

Gus: Well? Get back to work.

[Walter and Jesse pour hydrofluoric acid on Victor's corpse]

Mike: I've never used this stuff. Are you sure it will do the job?

Jesse: Trust us.

Jesse: At least now we all understand each other.

Walter: What do you mean?

Jesse: [about Gus] Him and us. We get it. [makes a motion of slitting his throat] We're all on the same page.

Walter: Now, what page is that?

Jesse: The one that says if I can't kill you, you'll sure as shit wish you were dead. [chuckles]

Thirty-Eight Snub [4.02][edit]

Lawson: You know, mister, I've been providin' my services for the past thirty-odd years. You'd think in that time I'd learn better than to ask a man his business. Especially not one referred by the lawyer. But I feel the urge to ask you, we strictly talking defense here?

Walter: Yes. Absolutely, defense. Why?

Lawson: 'Cause if it's just personal protection, aside from a bucket of money, you'd save yourself a potential felony two-spot for carrying a weapon with a defaced serial number if you'd just buy it legally.

Walter: Yeah, but... if you did have to use it, wouldn't it still be better to use one that couldn't be traced?

Lawson: This is the west, boss. New Mexico's not a 'retreat' jurisdiction. A man steps to you intent on doing bodily harm, you got every right to plant your feet and shoot to kill. Some call it a moral right and I do include myself within that class. All this to say, I'm happy to take your money, but if you're not a convicted felon, you might best be advised to bear your arms within the confines of the law.

Walter: It's for defense. [beat] Defense. I'll take it.

Skinny Pete: Left 4 Dead, yo. The way them bitches get all cranial when you cap 'em in the head, it's like BOOYAH!

Badger: No, no, no, man, Resident Evil 4 takes it by a long shot.

Skinny Pete: Oh please, brotha, you're frontin'.

Badger: No, man, seriously, that chick? The one you gotta rescue? She's smoking, bro. And then you're like the last undead dude on Earth, so how can you not be dipping into that? Talk about inspiring a brother to kick some zombie ass.

Skinny Pete: They're trying to eat your brain, bro. A dude don't need no more motivation.

Badger: That's a fair point, I guess. OK, OK, OK, Call of Duty: World at War zombie mode. Now that's the bomb, man. Think on it, bro. They're not just zombies: they're nazi zombies.

Skinny Pete: Nazi zombies...

Badger: Yeah, man! SS Waffen troopers, too, which are like the baddest ass nazis of the whole nazi family!

Skinny Pete: Zombies are dead, man! What difference does it make what their job was when they was living?

Badger: Dude, you are so historically retarded! Nazi zombies don't wanna eat ya just 'cause they're craving the protein. They do it 'cause, they do it 'cause they hate Americans, man. Talibans. They're the Talibans of the zombie world.

Skinny Pete: I played the game, bro. They ain't exactly fleet of foot. I'm saying, where's the challenge? At least the zombies in Left 4 Dead clock a respectable 40. You gotta lead 'em and shit.

Badger: Dude, that's 'cause they're not even zombies! They're just infected! They got like this rage virus. Amps 'em up like they've been smoking the schwag! Apples and oranges, bro. Not even fair to compare the two.

Mike: [without turning around to look at Walter] You might want to learn how to tail better if you plan on making a habit of it.

Walter: May I buy you a drink? Next round when you're done.

Mike: Why not? You make a hell of a lot more than I do.

Walter: [to bartender] Another round for him and I'll have the same. No ice. [to Mike] I feel like I need to explain myself. There were some actions that I took which I want you to understand. I didn't want any of this to happen. Everything I did I did out of loyalty to my partner, and then later, of course, purely out of self-defense. I hope you can appreciate that. Just like I appreciated that... [waits for bartender to walk by] ...I appreciated that when you were going to kill me, you were simply following orders. I get that completely. And I harbor no ill will.

Mike: [sarcastically] There's a load off my mind.

Walter: Mike, I'm trying to tell you–

Mike: I get it. Fine. Drink up, Walter.

Walter: Hell of a last couple of weeks. Makes a man wonder exactly where he stands.

Mike: [rolls eyes and sighs]

Walter: I mean, I cannot be alone in feeling this way. Not after what happened to Victor.

Mike: So...what's with the piece? Right hip, inside your waist band. I noticed it the other day at the lab. Now you wear it if it makes you feel better, but if push comes to shove, it's not gonna help.

Walter: Mike, do I have to come right out and say this? Now you and I, we're in the same boat.

Mike: Drink your drink.

Walter: If it happened to Victor, it can happen to you. And what the hell was that anyway? A message? He cuts a man's throat just to send a message?

Mike: You won, Walter. You got the job. Do yourself a favor and learn to take yes for an answer.

Walter: Yeah, I got the job, but for how long? Get me in a room with him. Mike, just get me in a room and I'll do the rest.

Mike: You done?

Walter: Yeah.

[Mike punches Walter in the face and he falls to the floor. Mike kicks Walter twice as he lies there]

Mike: [putting on his jacket and stepping over Walter] Thanks for the drink.

Jesse: Oh, seriously? Where are you two going?

Badger: Jesse, I've been awake for like three straight days. Turning into a Sleestak.

Jesse: So crash here. It's not like I ain't got the space.

Badger: Yeah, that's cool and all, but I think I got like this cat? Think I'm like supposed to feed it.

Open House [4.03][edit]

[Marie has gone on a shopping run for Hank]

Marie: I had to go to three different places to get the moisturizer that you liked, but I got that and I got your Shiner Bock and your chips and – I couldn't resist – the complete encyclopedia to fantasy football. Look, it has all the latest rankings.

Hank: [looking at the chips] Marie, I said Cheetos, not Fritos.

Marie: Wait, I–

Hank: I must've said Cheetos like ten times. You need me to write it down for you?

Marie: No, and I don't need you to be mean about it either, Mr. Grumpy.

Hank: Well, I'm just saying, y'know, I said Cheetos. Ch-ch-ch sound. Virtually impossible to confuse Cheetos with Fritos it seems to me. Where are you going?

Marie: Back to the store, I guess. [throws Hank the fantasy football magazine] Here.

Hank: And the draft is not for two months so this is useless!

Jesse: For what it's worth, getting the shit kicked out of you? Not to say you get used to it, but you do kinda get used to it.

[Walt and Skyler want to buy the car wash, but Bogdan refuses to sell for a lower price because of Walt's prior behavior]

Saul: So where were we?

Skyler: Professionalism.

Saul: Yeah, um, so the guy won't sell, he won't sell.

Skyler: I don't accept that. I don't accept that he won't sell. I think he just lacks the proper...motivation.

Saul: Motivation? Uh, as in motivation motivation? Just so we're on the same page here, you're saying we'll make him an offer he can't refuse?

Skyler: Nothing so dramatic as that, no. Motivation. Attitude adjustment.

Saul: Ho ho ho ho! This one, she's a keeper. Well, I know an audit can be highly motivating. I know a gal over at Tax & Revenue, you give her ten minutes in this Bogdan fella's books, she'll have his sky raining frogs.

Skyler: No, we don't want to draw any unwanted tax attention. We don't want them looking at us after Bogdan sells.

Saul: Alright, how about an ICE raid? You know he's got illegals working over there. I mean, he just has to.

Skyler: We're not getting a bunch of poor innocent people in trouble, no.

Saul: Yeah, and also you're gonna need them after you take over. Hey, how about terrorism? "Oh, Agent Hoover I gotta tell ya, I've seen some real Islamic comings and going over there at the car wash. Yeah, I mean, guys in turbans pulling up in vans and stuff like that." Heh-heh.

Walter: Saul, Bogdan is Romanian.

Saul: OK, well, we're just spitballin' here, so...

Saul: Look, there's always, "You gotta real nice place here. It'd be a shame if something happened to it." That angle.

Skyler: What are you talking about? Violence?

Saul: Attitude adjustment.

Skyler: Oh no, that, no. That is not at all what I meant. We do not do that. That is not who we are, right?

Walter: [slight pause] Yeah, no, no, no. She's right. Look, do I need to state the obvious? I mean, there's got to be dozens of car washes in this area. Who says it has to be this one?

Skyler: I do. I say it has to.

Walter: Why?

Skyler: I just do.

Walter: God...

Saul: Well, that clears things up.

Skyler: I don't like him. Bogdan. He was condescending to me, he was rude about you, and I do not like him. Simple as that.

Saul: Hey, nobody appreciates a passionate woman more than I do, but in this business – and Walt can back me up on this – the number one rule is, "Don't take things personal."

Walter: What do you mean rude about me?

Skyler: Something along the lines of you weren't man enough to face him yourself.

Walter: What?

Skyler: That you had to send your woman to do your business for you.

Saul: OK, uh, speaking as your lawyer, I'm gonna go on record and say this is a bad idea. Now I advise against–

Walter: It's this one.

Walter: [toasting to the new car wash where he will launder his drug money] To clean cars...and clean money.

Bullet Points [4.4][edit]

[Skyler forces Walt to rehearse with her a conversation so they can announce to Hank their purchase of the car wash without arousing suspicion]

Walter: "I'm terribly, terribly ashamed of my actions."

Skyler: Yeah.

Walter: Two terribly's?

Skyler: It's supposed to show contrition.

Walter: OK, I would just never use that word. I would never say the word "terribly."

Skyler: Phrase it however you want. OK, you're jumping ahead. Now...

Walter: And why am I so ashamed?

Skyler: Do I really need to answer that?

Walter: I was – and am – providing for our family.

Skyler: Let's just pick up where we left off.

Walter: I'm "weak", I'm "out of control". I mean, this whole thing makes me look like crap.

Skyler: This has to be a warts-and-all story, Walt. This is how we both sell it and we both look bad.

Walter: How do you look bad exactly? Where is the "I slept with my boss" bullet point? Because I can't seem to find that anywhere.

Skyler: For a fired school teacher who cooks crystal meth, I say you're coming out pretty much ahead.

[Hank and Walt are looking over Gale's lab notes]

Hank: [looking at Gale's lab notes] Right here, here at the top, it says, "To W.W. My star, my perfect silence." W.W. I mean, who do you figure that is, y'know? Woodrow Wilson? Willy Wonka? Walter White?

Walter: [jokingly, laughing] Heh. You got me!

[Walt is venting to Saul about his problems with the business]

Walter: Then what else should I not worry about, Saul, hm? Should I not worry that Gus plans to murder me at the first chance he gets? Should I not worry that my drug-addicted partner doesn't seem to care whether he lives or dies? You should see his house. It's like skid row! He has actual hobos living there! Now how long before Gus decides that he's too big of a risk? That guy Mike, that grunting dead-eyed cretin, sucker punching me in the face! I've got Gus wielding a box cutter! I mean...Western Union! Message received! Let me ask you, when did this stop being a business, hm? Why am I the only person capable of behaving in a professional manner?

Sketchy: I'm not even kidding, because if you really think about it, you can't even see it so how can you know just how bad radio frequencies and microwaves and cell phones and stuff are getting you. I mean, you can be strolling through security at the airport on your way to see your grandma and then you get waved through a full body x-ray scanner and the next day you can be dead or dying or at least dying from all the radiation that they say is safe which there's no way it could because they have to deliver a concentrated dose, OK? Enough to penetrate your clothes and so the accumulated amount can definitely be dangerous to susceptible individuals, especially if you're from a rural area. I mean, the ozone layer is already through because of the cow farts.

Mike: [to Jesse] You're on thin ice, you little shithead. You know that?

Shotgun [4.05][edit]

Mike: You are not the guy. You're not capable of being the guy. I had a guy but now I don't. You are not the guy.

Jesse: Then what the hell am I doing here?

Mike: I don't know! It's not my call! I just do what I'm told and now you're gonna do what you're told, which is to sit here, shut up, and stay in the car until we finish our pickups! You got it?

Walter Jr.: Hey, Mom? Dad?

Walter: [from the bedroom] Hey, son!

Walter Jr.: Where are you?

Walter: Uh, we're...we're back here. We'll be out in a minute.

Walter Jr.: Oh God...

Walter: Jesse. Jesse! What happened yesterday? Where were you?

Jesse: I was out with Mike helping make pickups.

Walter: Picking up what?

Jesse: Cash, dead drops. Mike made the pickups and I guarded him.

Walter: You...guarded Mike? What is this, some kind of a joke?

Jesse: And you know what? Two dudes tried to rob us and I saved the stash. I took care of business, just like I'm taking care of business right now. You want to stand there dicking around or do you want to suit up and get to work? Get in gear yo, if you want to do this because I'm meeting up with Mike this afternoon.

Walter: What, again? Why?

Jesse: Guess I have two jobs now.

Hank: This guy Gale Boetticher, he was eccentric. Real character, y' know? He's, uh, he's dead now.

Skyler: Who was he?

Walter Jr.: He was a meth cook.

Hank: Uh, he was a meth chef. We're talking 5-stars, candles, and white tablecloth, y'know. I can't believe these words are coming out of my mouth, but he was a genius, plain and simple. I mean, uh, boy, if he applied that big brain of his to something good, I dunno, who knows? He could've helped humanity or something like that. I mean, how many actual geniuses are there in the world? If he'd have taken his life in a different direction, who knows?

Walter: Hank, not to tell you your business, but I'm not sure I agree.

Hank: What do you mean?

Walter: Well, you showed me that notebook and from what I saw – and this is just my humble opinion – from what I saw on those papers...genius? Not so much. I mean, there was no reasoning, no deductions in those pages, so to my eye, all this brilliance looks like nothing more than just simple rote copying, probably of someone else's work. Believe me, I have been around enough students to know. So this genius of yours, maybe he's still out there.

[Hank is looking through Gale's case file]

Marie: You find something?

Hank: Oh, just this...this guy I'm looking at. You know, everything he buys and eats is organic, fair trade, vegan. [Hank looks at a Los Pollos Hermanos napkin with notes on it found in Gale's apartment] Since when do vegans eat fried chicken?

Cornered [4.06][edit]

Walter: [to Skyler] Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger! A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!

[Walter smacks open the car wash cash register]

Bogdan: Always sticky.

Walter: Yeah.

Bogdan: No problem. As is. Who'd have thought that someday I would be handing these keys to you? [Bogdan hands Walter the keys to the car wash] Many years... Almost forgot. [Bogdan takes down his framed first dollar]

Walter: Bogdan. As is. [Bogdan hands over the framed dollar and leaves. Walter smashes the frame open and uses the dollar to buy a soda]

Walter: Alright, I need an update.

Jesse: Update on what?

Walter: An update on these little field trips that you've been taking with Mike.

Jesse: I told you already we pick up money, check on things, stuff like that.

Walter: And you're his bodyguard, right? [Jesse turns away] What? What? That's what you said!

Jesse: I said I guarded him, like backup, like a second set of eyes. Everybody needs backup, right?

Walter: And this has to be you? It can't be – I don't know – Tyrus or any of the couple dozen muscleheads that Gus has working for him? It has to be Jesse Pinkman. Why? What, is there something about you I don't know? Are you a former Navy SEAL? Do you have to have your hands registered as lethal weapons?

Jesse: [flips Walter off] Register this.

Walter: All I'm saying is that do you not even question this? Do you really believe that you mean anything to these people? And I'm not trying to be insulting, I'm just trying to make you see things clearly.

Jesse: I see they can't outright kill me but they don't want me getting high. I see this thing probably started as Gus getting Mike to babysit me. But you know what? I saved Mike from getting robbed, even killed maybe. So maybe I'm not such a loser after all!

Walter: I mean, what if it...Oh God... [Walter thinks] I mean, what if it...What if it's all just a set-up?

Jesse: What?

Walter: What if this robbery that you stopped wasn't even real? I mean, think about it. Your first day out guarding Mike, he steps out for one second and what happens? You immediately get robbed.

Jesse: You are such an asshole!

Walter: Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer. Like you said, Gus can't kill you because of me. He knows that I won't stand for it. He needs me and he hates the fact that he needs me! So what does he do? He goes to work driving a wedge between you and me!

Jesse: You're an asshole. If you'd been there, you'd know it wasn't a set-up.

Walter: Wait a minute, how long did those guys chase you, huh? 'Cause the way you describe it, they gave up pretty damn easy. No, no, this whole thing – all of this – it's all about me.

Walter: This was my idea. Don't punish them. You tell Gus to blame me, not them.

Tyrus: He does.

Skyler: Someone has to protect this family from the man who protects this family.

Problem Dog [4.07][edit]

Walter: [on phone] Yes, hello. I need a cab...Yes, thank you. The name is White...I'm at the Vavillion parking lot near University...Oh yes, that's right, just south of the airport...Oh, that would be great, thank you. Oh, how long do you think that will take? [The Dodge Challenger explodes] No, I'm sure he'll see me. Thank you.

Walter: A month ago, Gus was trying to kill both of us, and now he pulls you out of the lab and employs you as...what? An assistant gunman? A tough guy? Does that make any sense to you? He says he sees something in you. What kind of game is he playing? Does he think you're that naive? He can't truly think that you'd forget. Let alone Gale, let alone Victor, and all the horror that goes along with all of that, what about this girlfriend of yours? And her little brother? I mean, the man looked you straight in the eye and told you no more children, but that very night, that little boy...he just, he winds up...I mean, Gus can't possibly think that you'd forget that. All I'm saying is that is it possible that he would think that you're that weak-willed...

Jesse: Drop the sales pitch. I'll do it.

Walter: You'll do what?

Jesse: I'll kill him. First chance I get.

Jesse: What is this? I mean, you're giving me a gun and now I'm like part of the team or whatever? He says he sees something in me. Like what?

Mike: If I had to put it in a word, I'd guess loyalty.

Jesse: Loyalty.

Mike: Only maybe you got it for the wrong guy.

Jesse: The thing is, if you just do stuff and nothing happens, what's it all mean? What's the point? Oh right, this whole thing is about self-acceptance.

Group Leader: Kicking the hell out of yourself doesn't give meaning to anything.

Jesse: So I should stop judging and accept?

Group Leader: It's a start.

Jesse: So no matter what I do, hooray for me because I'm a great guy? It's all good? No matter how many dogs I kill, I just, what, do an inventory and accept?! I mean, you backed your truck over your own kid and you, like, accept?! What a load of crap!

Group Leader: Hey, Jesse, I know you're in pain...

Jesse: No, you know what, why I'm here in the first place, is to sell you meth! You're nothing to me but customers! I made you my bitch! You okay with that? Huh? You accept?

Group Leader: No.

Jesse: About time.

Hank: I mean, what do we know about Gustavo Fring, huh? This whole friend of law enforcement thing? Could be a case of keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. I mean, he's got the money to finance this operation, maybe he's got the connections, too. Maybe – just maybe – he's our guy.

Merkert: Hank, no offense, but I think you're really reaching.

Gomez: If your guy had his meeting at KFC, you wouldn't immediately assume that he's sitting down with Colonel Sanders.

Hank: You know, I couldn't agree more, guys. Gustavo Fring, blue meth...Whole thing is off-the-map nuts. I ought to be wearing a tinfoil hat, you know? Except I can't seem to wrap my mind around this one little thing, and that is, what are Gustavo Fring's fingerprints doing in Gale Boetticher's apartment?

Hermanos [4.08][edit]

[Hector watches a news report on the deaths of Leonel and Marco]

News Reporter: One of the suspected gunmen died at the scene. The second succumbed to his wounds earlier this evening at an area hospital. Agents with the DEA and FBI, in conjunction with APD Homicide are working with Mexican law enforcement in an attempt to identify the deceased suspects. Both-[Gus turns off the TV, pulls up a chair and sits down, facing Hector]

Gus: I can give you the highlights. Your nephews grew impatient. They continued to press me for my permission to kill Walter White. When I wouldn't give it, they settled instead for DEA Agent Schrader. But a phone call was placed to Agent Schrader moments before the attack, thus giving him the upper hand. Marco, shot in the face and died instantly. Leonel lingered for several hours. The warning call to the DEA agent...Juan Bolsa may have some insight into who placed it. For yesterday the federales raided his hacienda, and in the confusion, Juan was shot dead. An accident, perhaps? A mistake made by his own men? But we may never know. At any rate, I thought you should hear it from me. [Gus pats a furious Hector on the leg and stands up to leave] This is what comes of blood for blood, Hector. Sangre por sangre.

Gary: It's like what they say: man plans and God laughs.

Walter: That is such bullshit.

Gary: Excuse me?

Walter: Never give up control. Live life on your own terms.

Gary: Yeah, no, I get what you're saying, but, uh, cancer is cancer.

Walter: To hell with your cancer. I've been living with cancer for the better part of a year. Right from the start, it's a death sentence. That's what they keep telling me. Well, guess what? Every life comes with a death sentence, so every few months I come in here for my regular scan, knowing full well that one of these times – hell, maybe even today – I'm gonna hear some bad news. But until then, who's in charge? Me. That's how I live my life.

Hank: Officially, Fring's not a suspect. But I'm telling ya, something deep down says he's my guy. Just gotta prove it.

Jesse: So, what if this is like math or algebra? And you add a plus douchebag to a minus douchebag, and you get, like, zero douchebags?

Walter: I've got some math for you: Hank catching Gus equals Hank catching us!

Gus: Is today the day, Hector?

[Flashback to a younger Gus with his partner, Max, in a hacienda in Mexico]

...

Eladio: Sit, please. So, if your partner is the chef, then who are you? Don't tell me you are just the taster!

Gus: I handle the business operations.

Max: Gustavo is a brilliant businessman.

Eladio: Ah, a businessman! Good, good. But, tell me something. That chicken, so fabulous, so excellent... Besides that, what else do you have on your menu?

Max: We have several side dishes. Rice. Beans. Sometimes we prepare a carnitas entree if we come across fresh beef in the market.

Eladio: Anything else? Come on, be honest. There is nothing else you offer? A little taste of something else? Something on the side? Because when I send my men to your restaurant, they come back with more than just chicken. They come back with drugs. They come back high. No? You are selling them narcotics. Methamphetamine. No?

Gus: With all due respect, Don Eladio, I didn't sell it to them. I gave them samples.

Eladio: Samples.

Hector: Some businessman.

Gus: I gave them samples to give to you. To introduce you to our product.

Max: Don Eladio, Gustavo meant no offense. But he...that is to say we...could think of no other way to get your attention. We want to work with you, Don Eladio.

Eladio: I know all about methamphetamine. That's poor man's cocaine. Only bikers and hillbillies use it. There's no money in it.

Max: May I, Don Eladio...I am a biochemist by training. The methamphetamine we make is much superior to the so-called biker crank you know of. It is crystallized, like glass. Purer. And the chirality of the molecule – its very structure – is different. The narcotic effect is far more potent.

Gus: Don Eladio, this product is the drug of the future.

Eladio: Ah.

Gus: It'll triple your profits. Perhaps quadruple.

Juan: They're not only good cooks, they're great at shoveling manure.

Eladio: [laughing] No, no, no, continue, continue.

Gus: Right now, you deal almost exclusively in cocaine. But the coca plant can't grow in Mexico. You are no more than middlemen for the Colombians. They cut you a percentage for smuggling across the border. But the lion's share of the profit goes to them, despite your assumption of all the risk.

Max: This new crystal methamphetamine, it's stronger, more addictive than cocaine, which means it will move in higher volume. But most importantly, it's completely artificial. We can show you how to manufacture it, right here in Mexico.

Gus: And you keep all the profits.

Eladio: My men do like your product.

Juan: Si.

Eladio: Hector, what is wrong with you? Why did you not get glasses for our guests? Go on. [Hector goes to the bar] Good. You are quite the talent. I bet you learned cooking from your mama. Isn't that true? No? But...what about the chemistry?

Max: I studied at the University of Santiago. Gustavo paid for my education.

Eladio: Oh, really?

Max: I have degrees in both biochemistry and chemical engineering. With minimal capital investment, we can set up a factory-grade laboratory for you. Train your own people to manufacture large quantities of highly pure methamphetamine.

Eladio: Fantastic! Tell me one thing, though. If you're the cook...why do I need him?

Max: Senor?

Eladio: You. Businessman. Why should I negotiate with someone who doesn't respect me? Who insults me by dealing under my nose without my permission? Who manipulates me into a meeting in front of my own men? What do I need you for?

Gus: Don Eladio. Please. I didn't sell anything. I apologize if you are offended by my method of obtaining this meeting. I merely took the initiative. I meant no insult.

Max: Don Eladio, Gustavo didn't mean to offend. I know Gustavo like a brother. He's an honorable man. The most loyal man I have ever known. He rescued me from the Santiago slums. He made me the man I am today! Gustavo is a genius. He will make you millions! Just find it in your heart to forgive him this one small mistake. Please...He's my partner. I need him! I swear to God!

[Hector shoots Max in the head. Gus lunges at Hector, but Juan holds him back and pins him to the ground next to Max's dead body]

Hector: Look at him. You did this to him. Now, look at him.

Eladio: Listen to me. The only reason you are alive and he is not...is because I know who you are. But understand. You are not in Chile anymore.

Hector: My advice...stick to chicken.

[Flashback ends]

Gus: Look at me, Hector. Look...at...me. [Hector cannot bring himself to look. Gus gets up and pats him on the shoulder] Maybe next time.

Bug [4.09][edit]

[Hank wants Walt to drive him out to Gus's distribution center]

Hank: So, what do ya say, buddy? Got another field trip in ya?

Walter: [feigning illness] Uh, Hank, uh, I mean, it sounds great, really does, but y'know, I won't lie, you caught me somewhat...indisposed.

Hank: What do ya mean, like, taking a dump indisposed?

Walter: Yeah, that's...embarrassingly, that's it. Y'know, it's just upset stomach and everything. It's out of control...really explosive. Bad Tex-Mex at the mall.

Hank: Yeah yeah yeah I get it, you don't have to paint me a picture. Probably one guy in a diaper is enough for this trip anyway.

[Mike and Jesse bring in the body of a henchman shot by the Cartel into the lab]

Walter: Should I even ask?

Mike: I wouldn't.

Walter: So, what? Is this going to be a regular thing now? Meth cooking and corpse disposal? Jesus...

Mike: Just grab us a spare barrel, Walter.

Walter: What was it this time? What did this poor bastard do to piss off Gus? Or did Gus just need to send another message?

Mike: Shut your mouth! You shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you. I don't want you talking to me or Jesse. Just get the barrel. And if you ever plan on calling the cops on one of my guys again, you go ahead and get two barrels.

[Skyler shows up "late" for Ted's IRS audit]

Skyler: Oh, I am so sorry I am late! I got lost. Hey, Ted.

Ted: Sky?

Skyler: Whew, this building is so confusing! There are doors everywhere! Hi. You are?

James: Special Agent James Picarus.

Skyler: Ooh, special.

Jesse: What am I doing here?

Gus: I know you have concerns. What happened yesterday to my man at the farm, it was a terrible thing.

Jesse: Oh, the dude getting his head blown off? Yeah.

Gus: I have invited you into my home, prepared food, so we could sit and talk. Discuss what's going on in this business. Our business. Like men. And I will explain everything that's happening. I will answer your questions. But first, I need you to answer one question for me: can you cook Walter's formula?

Jesse: What?

Gus: Walter's formula. Can you produce this product without any help alone?

Jesse: No. Why? You asking me if I can cook Mr. White's crystal without him? Me? The junkie loser you were about to waste and dump in the desert a month ago? This your plan, huh? Invite me to your house and make whatever the fuck this is? Be my buddy and make me feel important? Then get me to keep cooking for you after you kill Mr. White? You wanna talk like men? Let's talk like men: you kill Mr. White, you're gonna have to kill me, too!

Gus: That is not what I asked you. You are here because circumstances with the Cartel are untenable and I need your help. I need you to help prevent an all-out war. Now, if you would answer the question.

Jesse: Thank God. Come on in. You, uh, you want a beer or something?

Walter: No. Could I sit down?

Jesse: Oh yeah yeah, sure, go ahead. OK so, um, OK, word has come down that they want me to go to Mexico. There's some sort of war brewing between Gus and the Cartel.

Walter: Word has come down?

Jesse: The Cartel has been messing with Gus' operation, like jacking trucks to like send a message. And yesterday? That dude we brought to the lab? They shot him right in front of me! Just blew his head open! Some sniper nailed him from like a mile away. Anyway, they've been holding off but from between Cartel taking potshots and your brother-in-law trying to throw a net over the whole deal, it's like what you call a rock and a hard place situation. So Gus is gonna cave. So the Cartel wants half of Gus' entire operation and they want your formula. And he's gonna give it to them. Well, I, I gotta give it to them. I mean, I'm supposed to go to Mexico and teach a bunch of Cartel chemists how to cook a batch of blue. Y'know, Gus doesn't trust you so I gotta go! I mean, you're the chemist, man, not me. I mean, let's say I go down and go over there to the jungle or whatever and say they got actual chemists, I mean Cartel chemists, asking me chemistry stuff that I don't know how to answer because I'm not you. And what if all the equipment is in Mexican instead of English? Ugh, I dunno, I dunno, if I mess this up, I am dead. All of us! Mr. White, look, I need your help. OK, maybe you could, uh, could like coach me or something or you could give me some notes. Mr. White?

Walter: So you saw Gus?

Jesse: What? No.

Walter: You didn't see Gus.

Jesse: No.

Walter: Then who told you all of that?

Jesse: It was passed down, like I said.

Walter: Passed down? By whom?

Jesse: By, uh, by Mike and them. They did, they–

Walter: So "they" doesn't include Gus. You haven't been with Gus, you haven't seen Gus, you haven't spoken to Gus.

Jesse: Why are–

Walter: You weren't at Gus' house last night?

Jesse: What? [Walter walks up to Jesse and grabs the cigarette pack from him] What the hell? Jeez!

Walter: [Taking out the ricin cigarette] It's still here. It's still here. [Walter throws the ricin cigarette at Jesse] You look me in the eye and you tell me that you weren't at his house last night.

Jesse: I, um...

Walter: Yeah.

Jesse: Look I didn't have a chance, alright? OK? I knew you would react this way! I knew you would freak out and you wouldn't believe me! That's why I didn't say anything. Look, there was just this one big pot of stew, OK? He just made this one big pot and we both ate from it. What was I supposed to do, huh? Poison myself?

Walter: 2 hours and 18 minutes and you couldn't figure out a way to give it to him.

Jesse: He never left the room!

Walter: YOU LYING LITTLE SHIT! You had one thing to do, one thing! That is the only thing, I might add, that would save our lives. And you were right there. You were in the house and you didn't have the guts to do it!

Jesse: 2 hours and 18 minutes?

Walter: You never had any intention of killing him, did you?

Jesse: How did you know I was at his house last night? Were you following me?

Walter: This. This is how I knew. [tosses the GPS tracker to Jesse]

Jesse: You bugged my car?

Walter: 7:10 to 9:28 pm. 2 hours and 18 minutes. But you had no intentions, did you? Not the slightest intention.

Jesse: Everything that I have done for you...

Walter: Oh ho!

Jesse: ...you put a bug on my car?!

Walter: I'm sorry, after everything you've done for me? What you've done for me?! You've killed me is what you've done! You signed my death warrant! And now you want advice? Alright, I'll give you advice: go to Mexico and screw up like I know you will and wind up in a barrel somewhere!

[Jesse throws the GPS tracker at Walter's head, causing a bloody gash on it. Walter charges at Jesse and the two fight. Jesse gains the upper hand and sits on top of Walter, punching him numerous times and leaving him bloody. Both eventually get back on their feet]

Jesse: Can you walk?

Walter: Yeah.

Jesse: Then get the fuck outta here and never come back.

Salud [4.10][edit]

[Jesse finds that the cartel lab doesn't have one of the required chemicals he needs for his cooking process]

Benicio Fuentes: [in Spanish] This is ridiculous. I'm not letting some infant who can't even synthesize phenylacetic acid teach me my business.

Jesse Pinkman: [to Gus] Tell this asshole if he wants to learn how to make my product he's got to do it my way. The right way. [Benicio steps up to Jesse]

Benicio Fuentes: I speak English.

Jesse Pinkman: So you understand what "asshole" means. Now go get me my phenylacetic acid, asshole.

[Jesse has observed that the cartel's lab is filthy]

Benicio Fuentes: Who do you think you are?

Jesse Pinkman: [gets in Benicio's face] I'm the guy your boss brought here to show you how it's done. And if this is how you run your lab, no wonder. You are lucky he hasn't fired your ass. Now, if you don't want that to happen, I suggest you stop whining like a little bitch and do what I say...

[the two stare one another down for several seconds]

Benicio Fuentes: [in Spanish] Clean up.

Walter: I wish I could take back last night. It was your birthday; this shouldn't be on your mind.

Walter Jr.: It's OK.

Walter: No, it's not OK. I'm your father. I don't want last night to be... I mean, you really... you can't think of me like...

Walter Jr.: Like what? I don't understand.

Walter: My father died when I was six. You knew that, right?

Walter Jr.: Yeah.

Walter: He had Huntington's disease. It destroys portions of the brain, affects muscle control, and leads to dementia. It's just a nasty disease. It's genetic. Terrified my mother that I might have it, so they ran tests on me when I was a kid, but I came up clean. My father fell very ill when I was four, five. Spent a lot of time in the hospital. My, heh, my mother would tell me so many stories about my father. I mean, she would talk about him all the time. I knew about his personality, how he treated people, I even knew how he liked his steaks cooked: medium rare, just like you. I knew things about my father, I had a lot of information. It was because people would tell me these things. They would paint this picture of my father for me and I always pretended that was who I saw too, that I remembered. But it was all a lie. In truth, I only have one real, actual memory of my father. It must have been right before he died. My mother would take me to the hospital to visit him. And I remember the smell in there. The chemicals. It was as if they used every single cleaning product they could find in a 50 mile radius, like they didn't want you smelling the sick people. There was this stench of Lysol and bleach, you could just feel it coating your lungs. Anyway, there, lying on the bed, is my father. And he's all... he's all twisted up. My mom, she puts me on her lap, she's sitting on the bed next to him so I can get a good look at him, but really he just scares me. And he's looking right at me, but I can't even be sure he knows who I am. And your grandmother is talking, trying to be cheerful as she does, but the only thing I could remember is him breathing. There was this... this rattling sound, like if you were shaking an empty spray paint can. Like there was nothing in him. Anyway, that is the only real memory that I have of my father. I don't want you to think of me the way I was last night. I don't want that to be the memory you have of me when I'm gone.

Walter Jr. Remembering you that way wouldn't be so bad. The bad way to remember you would be the way you've been this whole last year. At least last night you were... you were real, y'know?

Jesse: What is this shit? I don't get a vote? I'm supposed to just stay down here forever?

Mike: I promise you this: either we're all going home or none of us are. Now settle down.

Eladio: Gustavo, cheer up, man. Gustavo, I'm not angry. I had to spank you. But what choice did I have? Look, once every 20 years you forget your place. There's no place for emotion in this. You of all people should understand. Business is business.

[Gus has just offed Don Eladio and the other cartel capos with poisoned tequila, and is beginning to suffer from the effects of the poison]

Gus: Don Eladio está muerto! Sus capos están muertos! Ustedes no tienen a nadie mas por quien pelear. Llenen sus bolsillos, y váyanse en paz… O VENGAN A PELEAR CONMIGO, Y MUERAN! ["Don Eladio is dead! His capos are dead! You have no one left to fight for! Fill your pockets and leave in peace, OR FIGHT ME AND DIE!"]

Crawl Space [4.11][edit]

Gus: You did well down here. And you also proved a point. I think you can run the lab by yourself now, don't you?

Jesse: Let Mr. White go. Pay him off or fire him. Don't kill him.

Gus: You know that won't work.

Jesse: Then you got a problem.

Gus: Hello, Hector. [Gus presents Hector with Don Eladio's necklace] All of them, Hector. Don Eladio, Don Paco, Cesar, Reynaldo, Ortuno, Cisco, and Luis. Escalara. All dead. As is your grandson, Joaquin. Do you know who killed Joaquin? Would you like to see? [Gus turns Hector to Jesse] This young man. Do you remember him? That young man shot Joaquin to death while I made my escape. I believe you have met him before. It was just you and Joaquin. He was the only family you had left. Now the Salamanca name dies with you. Will you look at me now? Look at me, Hector. Look at me.

[Ted answers a knock at the door and is greeted by two of Saul's underlings, Kuby and Huell.]

Ted Beneke: Can I help you?

Kuby: Yeah. Thanks.

[Kuby and Huell step into Ted's house uninvited.]

Ted: W-wait, you just can't... What's this about?

Kuby: I'll tell you what this is about, Mr. Beneke. This is about you and me doing our best to keep Huell happy.

Ted: Huell? Who's Huell?

Kuby: This is Huell. Huell, you happy?

Huell: Reasonably.

Kuby: What would make you unhappy?

Huell: This little motherfucker not doing what he's told.

Kuby: If you were to become unhappy, Mr. Beneke wouldn't care for that?

Huell: I'm gonna say no.

Kuby: Well, there you have it. Now let's go find your checkbook.

Gus: You are done. Fired. Do not show your face at the laundry again. Stay away from Pinkman. Do not go near him...ever. Are you listening to me?

Walter: Or else you'll do what?

Gus: What did you say?

Walter: Stay away from Pinkman...or else you'll do...what? Kill me? If you could kill me, I'd already be dead. But you can't. You can't kill me because Jesse wouldn't cook for you if you did. That's it, isn't it? [coughs] No matter how hard you try to turn him against me, to screw with his head, so that he would hate my guts...and he still won't let you do it.

Gus: For now. But he'll come around. In the meantime, there's the matter of your brother-in-law. He is a problem you promised to resolve. You have failed. Now it's left to me to deal with him.

Walter: You can't.

Gus: If you try to interfere, this becomes a much simpler matter. I will kill your wife. I will kill your son. I will kill your infant daughter.

Walter: [panicking] Saul! This man we spoke of before, this, this person that you said could, could disappear me, give me a whole new life, and make sure I'm never found?

Saul: Yeah.

Walter: I need him! I need this man now! Saul, Gus is gonna murder my whole family.

Saul: Oh, Christ.

Walter: Saul! Now, Saul!

Saul: Yeah yeah! [Saul hurries over to a locked safe.] You understand there's no coming back from this? You're gonna get new Socials and new identities. You can't contact your friends or relatives ever again.

Walter: Alright! Yes, I understand!

Saul: How are you gonna sell this to that wife of yours.. and your teenage son?

Walter: I have got no choice.

Saul: You're wanted by some pretty scary individuals, not to mention the law. You're a high-risk client. You're gonna need the deluxe service. It's gonna cost you.

Walter: How much?

Saul: The last quote I got on the deluxe was 125 grand. But you've got four people to vanish. It's gonna be at least half a million. And he accepts cash only.

Walter: I've got the money, now come on! Please!

Saul: Here!

[Saul hands Walter a business card. Walter hurriedly grabs it and reads it.]

Walter: What?! This.. this is a vacuum cleaner repair company!

Saul: What'd you expect, Hadji's Quick Vanish?!

Walter: Where is it? Where's the rest?

Skyler: Wha-?

Walter: The money, Skyler, where is the rest? Skyler? WHERE IS THE MONEY?!

Skyler: [pause] I gave it to Ted.

Walter: What? You did what?

Skyler: Walt, I'm...I had to. For us, the family. I swear, Walt...

Walter: You gave our money to Beneke?

Skyler: Walt, please, please, just hear me out, please...

Walter: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! [Walter collapses crying, then breaks out in crazy laughter, as Skyler backs away to answer the phone]

End Times [4.12][edit]

Skyler: Walt, how long till you're safe? Till you can work this out?

Walter: Oh Skyler...

Skyler: No.

Walter: Skyler–

Skyler: No.

Walter: I have lived under the threat of death for a year now. And because of that, I've made choices.

Skyler: Walt, I–

Walter: Listen to me. I alone should suffer the consequences of those choices, no one else. And those consequences...they're coming. No more prolonging the inevitable.

[Gomez is searching the laundry. Jesse and Tyrus are stuck in the underground lab and Jesse is on the phone with Gus]

Gus: Do you know what is happening upstairs?

Jesse: I have a pretty good idea.

Gus: This is all a result of your former partner. Do you understand now? Do you see why this can't continue?

Jesse: You know, I get it, the guy is a complete and total dick, but I can't. I'm not signing off, OK? Like I said, if something...final...happens to Mr. White, we're going to have a problem. So what're you gonna do?

Gus: There will be an appropriate response.

Saul: Take a break, H.T. Let's go.

Franschesa: You're going to stop calling me that or I'm gonna hang you by your tie.

Saul: Yeah, yeah, stop showing off for the client. Honey Tits! I say it's endearing.

Walter: I don't know what you're thinking coming here. Aw Christ, what does it matter? Everything, it's all coming to an end. Do you even know what's happening? The full scope of what's happening? They took me out to the desert, they put a hood over my head and drove me out into the desert on my knees. They threatened my family, and not just Hank. My wife, my children... It's just a matter of time now. I was able to protect them for now, but...Gus is gonna make his move and...and I don't know...I don't know when or how. All I know is it's gonna happen. And I'm powerless to stop it.

[Jesse is pointing a gun at Walter, accusing him of poisoning his girlfriend's son, Brock]

Walter: Jesse, why? Why, in God's name, would I poison a child?

Jesse: To get back at me! Because I'm helping Gus and this is your way of ripping my heart out before you're dead and gone! Just admit it! Admit what you did! ADMIT IT!

Walter: I DID NOT DO THIS!

Jesse: SHUT UP! [Jesse pushes Walter down] STOP LYING!

Walter: I'm not, I'm not lying, Jesse, listen to me, listen to me, what would I have to gain, what possible...possible...who...who would...Oh my God... [Walter begins laughing]

Jesse: Hey. Stop laughing. STOP LAUGHING!

Walter: I have been waiting...I've been waiting all day, waiting for Gus to send one of his men to kill me, and it's you. Who do you know who's OK with using children, Jesse, who do you know? Who's allowed children to be murdered, hm? Gus! He has been ten steps ahead of me at every turn and now the one thing that he needed to finally get rid of me is your consent, and boy he's got that down, he's got it. And not only does he have that, but he manipulated you into pulling the trigger for him.

Jesse: But only you and I knew about the ricin!

Walter: No! You don't even believe that. Gus' cameras everywhere, please. Listen to yourself. No, he's known everything all along. Where were you today? In the lab? And you don't think it's possible that Tyrus lifted the cigarette out of your locker? C'mon! Don't you see? You are the last piece of the puzzle. You are everything that he's wanted. You're his cook now. You're the cook and you have proven you can run a lab without me, and now that cook has reason to kill me. Think about it! It's brilliant! So go ahead, if you think that I am capable of doing this, then go... [Walter grabs Jesse's wrist and puts the gun on his own forehead] ...put a bullet in my head and kill me right now.

Jesse: I'll do it.

Walter: DO IT! Do it.

Jesse: I'll do it!

Walter: Do it. Do it.

[Jesse does not pull the trigger. He turns to leave]

Walter: Where are you going?

Jesse: I'm gonna find the son of a bitch and I'm gonna kill him.

Walter: No, don't, he'll see you coming. You'll die before you get anywhere near him.

Jesse: I don't care.

Walter: Jesse, Jesse, just get in your car, just go, just drive.

Jesse: No. I'm going to do this one way or another, Mr. White.

Walter: Then let me help.

Face Off [4.13][edit]

[Hector is angered when he sees Walter in front of him.]

Walter: I know you despise me and I know how much you want to see me dead. But I'm willing to bet there's a man that you hate even more. I'm offering you an opportunity for revenge.

[Hector has come to "rat" to the DEA as a trap for Gus]

Nurse: A, E, I, O... [Hector rings the bell] Row O. P, Q, R, S. [Hector rings the bell] First letter S. A, E, I, O, U... [Hector rings the bell repeatedly] Second letter U. A... [Hector rings the bell] A, B, C... [Hector rings the bell] A, E, I... [Hector rings the bell] J, K... [Hector rings the bell] A, E, I... [Hector rings the bell] J, K, L, M... [Hector rings the bell] A, E, I, O, U... [Hector rings the bell] Row U. V, W, X, Y... [Hector rings the bell]

George Merkert: Alright, that's enough. Thank you. [Merkert shows Hank that Hector so far spelled out "Suck My"]

Hank Schrader: Yeah, thanks, I can spell. Well, got that out of your system now? Should we try this one more time? [Hector rings the bell]

Nurse: A, E... [Hector rings the bell] F... [Hector rings the bell] A, E, I, O, U... [Hector rings the bell repeatedly] A... [Hector rings the bell] B, C... [Hector rings the bell. He so far spelled "Fuc"]

Hank Schrader: Yeah, we...we got it, yeah.

[The nurse wheels Hector out of the meeting]

Nurse: I am just so, so sorry.

[Hector winks at Hank]

Hank: Well, at least this time he didn't shit himself. I guess that's progress.

Gus: What kind of man talks to the DEA? No man. No man at all. [Tyrus hands Gus a syringe filled with poison] A crippled little rata. What a reputation to leave behind. Is that how you want to be remembered? Last chance to look at me, Hector.

[He goes to inject Hector, but then looks up and sees Hector is looking at him, in something of a daze, which makes him pause. Hector's expression changes to one of pure anger and hatred, and he begins ringing his bell frantically. Gus looks down and sees that the bell is attached to a bomb on Hector's wheelchair, and realises he's walked into a trap]

Gus: AAH!

[The bomb explodes, killing Hector and Tyrus. Gus walks out of the room with half of his face blown off and then dies]

Walter: [to Jesse] Gus is dead. We've got work to do.

Skyler: Walt? Let me get somewhere where I can hear you. Walt?

Walter: How are you doing?

Skyler: How am I doing? How are you doing?

Walter: I'm, uh...I'm doing quite well. I'm good.

Skyler: Jesus, Walt, the news here. Gus Fring is dead. He was blown up along with some person from some Mexican cartel and the DEA has no idea what to make of it. Do you know about this? Walt? I need you to–

Walter: It's over. We're safe.

Skyler: Was this you? What happened?

Walter: I won.

Season 5[edit]

Live Free or Die [5.01][edit]

Walter: You going to show...I don't know...some kind of mild relief that I'm alive?

Skyler: I am relieved Walt. And scared.

Walter: Scared? Scared of what?

Skyler: You.

Walter: Mike. Where is the laptop?

Mike: What the hell difference does it make? They got it, end of story.

[Walter looks at Mike.]

Mike: [scoffs] APD Northwest Area Command on Second. They tagged it, they filed it. It's in the system, and they locked it in their evidence room.

Walter: All right. All right, so describe the building.

Mike: [chuckles] Describe it? How about how you describe Fort Knox? And what are you going to do? Are you going to put on your black leotard and go dangling on the clothesline? It's a building full of cops, what else do you need to know? And why in the hell am I talking to you?

[Mike turns to leave]

Jesse: Mike, we gotta do something.

Mike: I am doing something!

Jesse: He's good with this stuff, okay? Just give him a chance.

Mike: Hey look, that laptop might as well be on the Moon. They build these evidence rooms like bank vaults, because guess what? Lunatics like you want to break into 'em. But unlike a bank vault, this is a place that is guarded twenty-four hours a day by the police. There's no way you're getting it out of there.

Walter: Who said that we have to get it out of there? We just need to destroy what's on it.

Mike: Oh, so now you want to blow up a police station?

Walter: I don't believe I said that, no.

Mike: Nursing home full of old folks just wet your appetite, now you want to kill a bunch of cops?

Walter: I never said anything about killing anybody. I am, however, considering the possibility of a device.

Mike: A device?

Walter: Yes, a small device. Say this device gets filed into evidence, now it is inside that room.

Jesse: What about a magnet?

Mike: You want to commit a whole other crime just to get this bomb of yours into evidence?

Walter: Bo— Who said bomb? I said a device...

Jesse: Yo, what about like a magnet?

Walter: ...an incendiary device. One quick fire is all it would take.

Mike: You don't think they have fire suppression? I'm not talking about sprinklers, I'm talking about halon, because halon doesn't destroy evidence.

Jesse: A magnet though, maybe—

Walter: Right, so a bomb then. Maybe we plant a bomb outside.

Mike: Oh, actually I knew a crew out of Fort Worth that tried to blow up an evidence room from outside. 'Bout all they did was take out a couple of hedges. You are probably talking about two feet of reinforced concrete.

Walter: Right, then we—

Jesse: Or, what about a magnet?

Walter: What magnet? What about it?

Jesse: You know, it's just like... [imitates the laptop impacting on a wall]

[after successfully testing the magnet]

Jesse: YEAH, BITCH! MAGNETS! OOOOOH!

[Walter, Jesse, and Mike drive away from the APD outpost after using an industrial magnet to wreck an evidence room.]

Jesse: Yeah! Bitch!

Mike: Shut up!

Jesse: Oh! Yeah!

Mike: What exactly are you celebrating? You left the truck behind!

Walter: So what?

Mike: "So what?" So what if they find prints? What if they trace it back to the wrecking yard?

Walter: They won't. There's no prints. I made sure of that. There's no paperwork on the truck, the magnet, or the batteries. Untraceable salvage, all of it. I made sure of that, too.

Mike: Well, you got all the answers. So you tell me, answer man: did all that even work just now?

Walter: Yes. It worked.

Mike: I'm supposed to take that on faith, yeah? Why? How do we know?

Walter: Because I say so.

Walter: [to Saul] We're done when I say we're done.

Walter: [to Skyler] I forgive you.

Madrigal [5.02][edit]

Mike: [regarding Walt's new business proposal] Thanks, but no thanks.

Walter: [beat] Mike, I know you don't care for me. We've had our issues, you and I. But, I would suggest that you leave emotion out of this decision.

Mike: I am. You...are trouble. [leans forward] I'm sorry the kid doesn't see it, but I sure as hell do. You are a time bomb, tick-tick-ticking. And I have no intention of being around for the boom.

George Merkert: So Hector Salamanca killed Fring. Then who gave Salamanca the bomb?

Hank Schrader: A whole lot of questions. Not much in the way of answers. Yet.

Steven Gomez: The APD did find some of Fring's financials. That just might lead to something.

George Merkert: I had him out to my house. Fourth of July, cooked out in the backyard. My son shucked the corn, my daughter cut up potatoes. Fring brought sea bass. Every time I grill it now, I make a little foil pouch, just like he showed me. That whole night, we were laughing, telling stories, drinking wine. And he's somebody else completely...

[An expression of realization dawns on Hank's face.]

George Merkert: ...Right in front of me. Right under my nose.

[Mike is brought to an interrogation room to be questioned by Hank]

Hank Schrader: Thanks for coming down. Have a seat, Mr. Ehrmantraut. [Mike takes a seat] Am I saying that right?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Close enough.

Steven Gomez: So once more, you're waiving your right to have an attorney present?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Correct.

Steven Gomez: Can you state that to the camera, please?

Mike Ehrmantraut: I'm waiving my right to have an attorney present.

Hank Schrader: Uh, okay, then. We just, uh, have a few questions. You're currently employed by the Pollos Hermanos chain. Is that correct?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Yes, I am.

Hank Schrader: What do you do there?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Corporate security.

Hank Schrader: Corporate security?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Yeah.

Hank Schrader: What's that? Like, uh, guarding the special sauce?

Mike Ehrmantraut: I conduct employee background checks. I oversee loss prevention.

Hank Schrader: At a fast-food restaurant, that's a full-time job?

Mike Ehrmantraut: We have 14 locations. So, yes, it's a full-time job.

Hank Schrader: Yeah, well, if I were you, I'd start sending out those résumés. [looks at the file] It says here you're a private investigator? Where are you licensed?

Mike Ehrmantraut: New Mexico, Arizona, Utah. Every state where we operate.

Hank Schrader: Colorado? You have some restaurants there, right?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Colorado doesn't require licensure.

Hank Schrader: You licensed to carry a firearm?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Concealed carry? Yes, I am.

Hank Schrader: Which states?

Mike Ehrmantraut: It'd be quicker to mention the states in which I'm not.

Hank Schrader: And if we pulled your CCPs, everything would be in order?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Well I'm guessing you've already done that, so you tell me.

Hank Schrader: [points a finger at Mike] You strike me as a former cop. Am I right? Where at?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Philadelphia.

Hank Schrader: Philly! [in mock astonishment] The City of Brotherly Love. Turns out we uh, we know some folks there and they told us that your tenure as a police officer ended somewhat, uh...dramatically? You wanna talk about that?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Not particularly.

Hank Schrader: Yeah, me neither. See, I'm more interested in why Gus Fring decided to put a guy like you in charge of his corporate security. I mean, given your history, doing background checks on pimple-faced fry cooks seems like overkill. What else did you do for Fring? He must have needed help running that drug empire of his, no?

Mike Ehrmantraut: [feigns ignorance] Drug empire? First I'm hearing about that. I don't know anything about that.

Steven Gomez: Hey, man. We have a guy that could put you in that underground lab and he'll testify to it. So from here on out, this can go hard or easy. So what's it gonna be?

Mike Ehrmantraut: [leans forward and puts his hands on the table] Forget your handcuffs? I'm confused. Am I under arrest here, or am I not? [retracts his hands] You wanna state that for the camera?

Hank Schrader: You are not under arrest, currently.

Mike Ehrmantraut: Agents, do you have any more questions for me? Because you've got me very stirred up with all these false accusations. If I'm not under arrest, I'd prefer to leave. [Mike gets up, and starts to walk towards the door]

Hank Schrader: Oh, well, I don't suppose we could talk about the $2 million in your granddaughter's name?

[Mike stops in his tracks and stares at Hank]

Hank Schrader: Yeah. It seems that, uh, Fring had all these secret offshore accounts that he would deposit money into. Like, uh, well, an even dozen of them. And they're all in the names of certain people on his payroll. There was the, uh, the manager of the laundry, umm, a couple guys from the Pollos distribution center. Uh, there was the owner of a chemical warehouse, a bunch of others, you know. Guys that must've been getting paid off the books. Anyway, one of the names...was Kaylee Ehrmantraut. Ten years old and just cute as a button. Yeah. $2 million and change we found on deposit for her. Way more than anybody else. Now, my partner here? He took one look at that and said, "Shit, man! This fifth-grade girl is the muscle behind Fring's entire operation!" I said, "Whoa, whoa, hey, partner, slow down there. Maybe it was actually her dear old granddaddy." Impressive, no? That...[clicks his tongue] level of insight? [Mike stares at Hank and Gomez as he absorbs the realization that his funds have been seized] He's not impressed, Gomie.

Steven Gomez: Perhaps he's picturing all that money going "bye-bye".

Hank Schrader: Yeah, well, I mean, the government's gonna take every last dollar, unless... Well here's the thing, Mike- Or Michael?

Mike Ehrmantraut: Mr. Ehrmantraut.

Hank Schrader: Here's the thing, Mike: Lucky for you, you didn't touch that money. I cannot say the same for the other eleven on the list.

Steven Gomez: One of your guys is gonna roll on you, and then we'll definitely remember the handcuffs.

Hank Schrader: Now, before that day comes, you can...do yourself a solid. You can tell us what you know. You can tell us who's still out there, and if we like your story, good things can happen.

Steven Gomez: Kaylee might be able to keep some of that money.

Hank Schrader: Maybe. So what do you say?

Mike Ehrmantraut: I don't know anything about any money. I don't know what you're talking about.

Walter: Well, you missed a good meal. The lasagna came out very well, if I do say so myself. I wrapped some up if you'd like some later. [pause] You know, it gets easier. I promise you that it does. What you're feeling right now. About Ted, everything. It'll pass. So what we do, we do for good reasons. And we've got nothing to worry about. And there's no better reason than family.

Walter: [to Saul] There is gold in the streets just waiting for someone to come and scoop it up.

Hazard Pay [5.03][edit]

[Walter, Jesse, and Saul argue in Saul's law office.]

Saul: So you bring him here? Come on! The three of us? We're the Three Amigos! All for one, one for all! We don't need a Fourth Amigo!

Walter: Saul, Mike knows the business. He knows distributors.

Jesse: Mike's okay.

Saul: He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs. And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay? 'Cause he gave me the dead mackerel eyes. He meant it.

Walter: Saul, Mike threatened me. He threatened Jesse. He probably threatened someone before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. C'mon. Grow a pair.

Marie: We have another big event coming up. Have you thought about what you're going to do? [pause] Walt's birthday. [Skyler becomes visibly on-edge at the mention of Walt.] Whatever you need, I'm here.

Skyler: Yeah. I—I—I don't think we're going to be doing anything this year.

Marie: What are you talking about? Of-of course we're going to do something. Skyler, he was diagnosed around his birthday, right? So it's been a whole year. Listen, I've had my problems with Walt — why he wouldn't come out of the house when we were all practically begging— whatever, water under the bridge...

[Skyler looks through her purse. She retrieves a pack of cigarettes.]

Marie: ...But at this point, every year is precious. We— what are you doing?

Skyler: I...

Marie: You don't smoke. You haven't smoked since college. You can't be serious! With the baby? And Walt?

[Skyler finally lights the cigarette, having a smoke.]

Marie: Skyler, you're not smoking around the baby, are you? And you can't smoke here! There's got to be some rule or regulation, I'm sure! You can't force your employees to breathe secondhand smoke! I know for a fact that that is illegal—

Skyler: Marie, shut up.

Marie: What? I'm sorry, but please don't speak to me like that. I am simply saying that—

Skyler: Will you shut up?!

Marie: Hey!

Skyler: Shut the hell up! Shut up! Shut up!

Marie: Skyler—

Skyler: Shut up! Shut up!

Marie: Please stop, I—

Skyler: Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Marie: Hey!

Skyler: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

[Skyler breaks down crying.]

Mike: Just because you shot Jesse James, don't make you Jesse James.

Fifty-One [5.04][edit]

Walter: Gus Fring is dead, and he was the threat. He was the danger.

Skyler: I thought you were the danger.

Skyler: There's blood on my hands, too.

Walter: What blood? Beneke?

Skyler: He's in the hospital because of me...

Walter: No.

Skyler: ...because of what I did.

Walter: Skyler, you can't beat yourself up over this thing. Please. You didn't set out to hurt anybody. You made a mistake and things got out of control. But you did what you had to do to protect your family. And I'm sorry, but that doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you a human being.

Skyler: Stop it, Walt. Just stop. I don't need to hear any of your bullshit rationales. I'm in it now. I'm compromised. But I won't — I will not — have my children living in a house where dealing drugs and hurting people and killing people is shrugged off as "shit happens!" We're back at it? Fine. But the kids stay away, and that's that.

Walter: "That's that?" That's what?

Skyler: I got them out of this house.

Walter: To a sleepover at their aunt and uncle's? They spend a day or two, Junior stays up late watching movies, and then what happens?

Skyler: We'll see.

Walter: No, I'll tell you what happens. They come home, to this house, to their parents who love them—

Skyler: No. I will not let our business endanger them.

Walter: How many times do I have to say that they are not in—

Skyler: I said no. I swear to God, I won't have them back here.

[Pause.]

Walter: What are you going to do to stop it?

Skyler: Whatever it takes. Everything in my power.

Walter: Like what? I mean specifically. What is your next move?

Skyler: My next move is, maybe I hurt myself. Make it clear we need more time. Let Hank and Marie see we're still struggling.

Walter: No, more like you're still struggling. So maybe next time, I have you committed, put you in some inpatient facility while I take care of the kids myself. Is that what you want?

Skyler: So then maybe I show up with bruises on my neck. Give myself a black eye. Say that you beat me when you found out about my lover.

Walter: I see. So you involve Ted. Ah, well, that'll be fun, bringing the police up to speed on all of that. But not as much as telling your sixteen-year-old son that his father is a wife-beater. Also not a very good plan. What else you got?

Skyler: I could send Junior away to school.

Walter: Oh. Now here's the conversation: "So honey, I know you've only got one year left in high school, but I would love it so much if you would drop everything, leave all your friends behind, and go to boarding school in Arizona." Do you have any other ideas? Because I'm not hearing a solution to your problem. How are you going to save our kids from this "terrible" environment?

Skyler: I...

Walter: What are you going to do? What, are you going to run off to France? Are you going to close the curtains, change the locks? This is a joke. Come on, Skyler! You want to take me on? You want to take away my children? What's the plan?

Skyler: I don't know! This is the best I could come up with, okay? I—I will count every minute that the kids are away from here—away from you—as a victory. But you're right. It's a bad plan. I don't have any of your magic, Walt. I don't know what to do. I'm a coward. I—I can't go to the police, I can't stop laundering your money, I can't keep you out of this house, I can't even keep you out of my bed. All I can do is wait. That's it, that's the only good option. Hold on. Bide my time. And wait.

Walter: Wait for what? What are you waiting for?

Skyler: For the cancer to come back.

Walter: [to Skyler] See this watch? It's a birthday present. The person who gave me this wanted me dead, too. Not that long ago, he pointed a gun right between my eyes right here and he threatened to kill me. He changed his mind about me, Skyler. And so will you.

Dead Freight [5.05][edit]

Mike: Alright, Lydia. My friends here don't know you like I do, so they are very kindly giving you one last chance. [pulls out a notepad] There's your script. Study it. In about 30 seconds, I'm gonna dial Agent Schrader on your line here. You're gonna pass along this information, then we'll see what we see. Now here are the rules: if you yell for help, try to give the man some kind of coded message or otherwise tip him off, I am gonna pull out my pistol and shoot you in the head. Same goes for panicking, breaking down into tears – remember how you like to do that – if it happens this time, I am going to pull my pistol out and I am going to shoot you in the head. [she looks at Walter and Jesse] Look at me, not at them. Lydia, look at me. [Lydia turns to Mike] If you make Schrader suspicious – in any way, any way at all – tell me what's gonna happen next.

Lydia: You'll pull out your gun and shoot me.

Mike: And where will I shoot you?

Lydia: In the head.

Mike: In the head, that's right. It's a pistol, not a gun. I'm expecting precision here. [turns to Jesse] We up and running?

Jesse: [nervously] Yeah, um...computer's set.

Mike: OK, Lydia, if you ever needed to give the performance of a lifetime, it's now. [sets the cell phone down] You're up.

Todd: You mind if I ask you a question?

Walter: No, go ahead.

Todd: Well, I get why we want the tank for the methylamine, but why this other one for the water?

Walter: Well, Jesse, it's your idea, you want to fill him in?

Jesse: It's all about the weight, yo.

Jesse: Boosting methylamine from a train is, like, a major rap. The point is, no one other than us can ever know that this robbery went down. Nobody. You got it?

Todd: Yeah. Absolutely.

Walter: Are you sure?

Todd: Yes, sir.

[Walter enters the house to find Skyler at the door of Walt Jr.'s bedroom.]

Skyler: Flynn? Flynn, open the door. Just come out and talk to me.

Walt Jr.: [through door] I'm staying. That's all I have to say.

Walter: What's going on?

Skyler: You got what you wanted, that's what. Congratulations.

[Skyler retreats to the living room while Walt goes to his son's door, knocking.]

Walter: It's me. Open up.

[Pause.]

Walter: Come on, Junior. I'm not going to ask twice.

[Walter Jr. opens the door.]

Walter Jr.: What?

Walter: You know what.

Walter Jr.: Are you seriously kicking me out of my own house? Are you seriously doing that?

Walter: We're not kicking you out of anywhere, son. We love you, and this is your house as much as it is ours. But your mom and I need some time alone, and you know that. We explained that to you.

Walter Jr.: You haven't explained jack shit! You want me out? Explain to me why! Why do I have to go to Uncle Hank's? Give me the exact reason, or I'm not going anywhere!

[Walter Jr. tries to close the door, but Walt keeps it open.]

Walter: This is not going to be a debate.

Walter Jr.: What's going on? Why can't anybody tell me anything? I want one good reason!

Walter: Because we're your parents and you are our child. That's reason enough. Now please, do as I ask. Now.

Skyler: I won't change my mind about you ever.

Walter: I don't accept that. You're my wife.

Skyler: I'm not your wife. I'm your hostage. But since you insist on keeping me imprisoned, I'll make you deal. I will launder your money. I'll keep your secrets. But the kids will stay at Hank and Marie's where they have a chance of being safe.

Walter: I think you've seen too many movies. [sighs] Our children are not in danger.

Skyler: Just a couple of days ago, you told me that a man held a gun to your head. You said it like it was a point of pride. There's nothing you can say that'll convince me there won't come a day that somebody will come knocking on that door looking to harm you or me or all of us. And when that day comes, the children cannot be here. You agree to that, and I will be whatever kind of partner you want me to be.

[Walter considers, then nods]

[NOTE: This dialogue is from a deleted scene.]

Walter: You know, if this goes right, you could say we'll be pulling off the biggest train robbery in history.

Jesse: What about Jesse James?

Walter: Please. His biggest train robbery was in 1873, three thousand dollars. Adjusted for inflation, that's just fifty-seven grand.

[Jesse looks at Todd disbelievingly.]

Walter: All right. I couldn't sleep last night, so I looked it up. Butch Cassidy and the Wild Bunch, 1899; Union Pacific heist; Wilcox, Wyoming; an even fifty grand – today, $1.3 million. That's not bad. 1924, the Newton Gang – $38 million. 1963, the Great Train Robbery; Buckinghamshire, England; two-point-three million pounds sterling – or $48 million. That was the biggest one I could find. We are stealing a thousand gallons of methylamine. One gallon of forty-percent aqueous methylamine solution will yield seven-point-four pounds of product. Times a thousand gallons, at forty thousand dollars per pound, comes to $296 million. In terms of potential equivalency, more than all the others combined.

Buyout [5.06][edit]

Todd: [to Jesse, about shooting the kid] Man, shit happens, huh?

[Jesse attacks Todd]

Walter: Have you heard of a company called Grey Matter? Well, I cofounded it in grad school with a couple of friends. Actually, I was the one who named it. And back then, it just, oh, small time. We had a couple of patents pending, but nothing Earth-shattering. Of course, we all knew the potential. Hell, we were gonna take the world by storm. And then, well, something happened between the three of us. I'm not going to go into detail, but for personal reasons I decided to leave the company. And I sold my share to my two partners. I took a buyout for $5,000. Now at the time, it was a lot of money for me. Care to guess what that company is worth now?

Jesse: Millions?

Walter: Billions. With a 'B.' 2.16 billion as of last Friday. I look it up every week. And I sold my share, my potential, for $5,000. I sold my kids' birthright for a few months' rent.

Jesse: This isn't the same thing.

Walter: Jesse, you asked me if I was in the meth business or the money business. Neither. I'm in the empire business.

Jesse: Is a meth empire really something to be that proud of?

Walter: [to Jesse] My wife is waiting for me to die. This business is all I have left. All I have. And you want to take it away from me.

Mike: Might as well get comfortable. This deal is going down tomorrow. It's happening and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Got it?

Walter: Uh huh. So it's OK for you to steal my...

Mike: [interrupting] To insure that, you and I are going to spend the rest of the night together in this office, like it's my birthday.

Walter: Mike!

Mike: When the deal is done, you'll get your money. I guarantee that.

Walter: Mike, let me cook it! I'll double your five and you still walk!

Mike: You know, I have never seen anybody work so hard not to get five million dollars.

Walter: Mike, you need to listen to me.

Mike: No. Walter, the last thing I need to do is listen to you. Now sit down.

Mike: [sees that the methylamine is gone] Where is he?

Jesse: Mike.

Mike: [shoving Jesse] Get out of my way. [draws a gun on Walter] You sit down.

Jesse: Mike, Mike, hold on! Mr. White's got an idea!

Mike: [holding the gun at Walter's temple] I am going to count to three.

Jesse: Mike, I'm serious!

Mike: 1...2...

Jesse: It's a great idea! Look, you get your $5 million, we both do, and he gets his methylamine. All right? Just hear him out!

Mike: [pause] Is that true, Walter?

Walter: Everybody wins.

Say My Name [5.07][edit]

Declan: Looks like you're about a thousand gallons light here, Mike. Where's the juice?

Walter: The methylamine isn't coming.

Declan: Why is that? Who the hell are you?

Walter: I'm the man who's keeping it.

Declan: [to Mike] What the hell's this? We had an agreement, right? We got our deal. So where's the tank, Mike?

Walter: Mike doesn't know where it is; only I do. And you're dealing with me now, not him.

Declan: Why don't you just cut to what it is you want or what you think is going to happen here, alright? Because we're going to get what we came for.

Walter: That thousand gallons of methylamine is worth more in my hands than it is in yours – or anyone else's even, for that matter. But I need distribution.

Declan: Distribution?

Walter: That's right. So if you agree to give up your cook and sell my product instead, I'll give you 35% of the take.

Declan: 35%. Wow, are you kidding me? Thirty-five? Mike, please tell me this is a joke. Do you know how far out we had to stick our necks out to get our hands on this cash? [To Walt.] And why the hell would we want you? You realize we have our own operation, right?

Walter: I know all about your operation. See, my partners here tell me that you produce a meth that's 70% pure, if you're lucky. What I produce, is 99.1% pure.

Declan: So?

Walter: So, it's grade-school T-ball versus the New York Yankees. Yours is just some tepid, off-brand, generic cola. What I'm making is Classic Coke.

Declan: Alright. Okay, so, um, if we just waste you – right here, right now, leave you in the desert – then there is no more Coke on the market, right? See how that works? There's only us.

Walter: Do you really want to live in a world without Coca-Cola?

[Declan laughs.]

[Walter throws a bag of blue meth at Declan's feet.]

Walter: My partner tells me that your crew switched to a P2P cook because of our success. You dye your meth with food coloring to make it look like mine. You already ape my product at every turn. But now, you have the opportunity to sell it yourself.

Declan: I need you to listen to me. We're not going to give up this deal to be your errand boys, do you understand? For what? To watch a bunch of junkies get a better high?

Walter: A better high means customers pay more. A higher purity means a greater yield. That's $130 million of profit that isn't being pissed away by some sub-standard cook. Now you listen to me. You've got the greatest meth cook in Am – no, the two greatest meth cooks in America – right here. And with our skills, you'll earn more from that 35% than you ever would on your own.

Declan: Yeah, so you say. Just wondering why we're so lucky. Why cut us in?

Walter: Mike is retiring from our crew. So his share of the partnership is available, if you can handle his end: distribution. And if you give him $5 million of the $15 million that you brought today. Just think of it as a finder's fee for bringing us together. We have 40 pounds of product ready to ship. Ready to go. Are you ready?

Declan: [Laughs.] Who the hell are you?

Walter: You know. You all know exactly who I am. Say my name.

Declan: Do what? I don't–I don't have a damn clue who the hell you are.

Walter: Yeah you do. I'm the cook. I'm the man who killed Gus Fring.

Declan: Bullshit. Cartel got Fring.

Walter: You sure?

[Declan glances at Mike, who shakes his head.]

Walter: That's right. Now say my name.

Declan: ...You're Heisenberg.

Walter: You're goddamn right.

Jesse: Mr. White. Can we just take a second and talk about all this?

Walter: Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah.

Jesse: Um...

Walter: Uh, look, you know what I think we need to talk about? Doubling down.

Jesse: Doubling down?

Walter: Mm-hmm. Cooking 100 pounds a week, not 50. As in, starting a new lab – a lab that you'll run. A cook all of your own. Why not? You deserve it. You're every bit as good as me. Well, what do you think?

Jesse: Mr. White, uh, I think that nothing has changed for me. I just want to get my money and get out.

Walter: Jesse, this... what we do... being the best at something is a very rare thing. You don't just toss something like that away. And what? You want to squander that potential – your potential? Why? To do what?

Jesse: I don't know.

Walter: Think. To do what, Jesse?

Jesse: I don't know. I'll figure it out, alright?

Walter: Look at you. What have you got in your life? Nothing. Nobody. Oh wait, yes – video games and go-carts. Oh, and when you get tired of that, what then? Huh? And how soon will you start using again? Look, I know how upset you are about what happened to this boy. I am just as upset as you are.

Jesse: Are you? Really?

Walter: How can you say that to me? Jesus! I mean, I'm the one who's a father! What, am I gonna curl up in a ball in tears in front of you, or am I gonna lock myself in a room and get high to prove it to you? What happened to that boy was a tragedy and it tears me up inside. But because it happened, am I supposed to just lie down and die with him? It's done! It makes me sick that it happened, just like everyone else who has died in our wake. What Todd did... you and I have done things that are just as bad.

Jesse: Yeah.

Walter: All the people that we've killed – Gale... and the rest. If you believe that there's a Hell – I don't know if you're into that – but we're already pretty much going there. But I'm not gonna lie down until I get there.

Jesse: What, just because I don't want to cook meth any more, I'm lying down? How many more people are gonna die 'cause of us?

Walter: No one. None. Now that we're in control, no one else gets hurt.

Jesse: You keep saying that and it's bullshit every time! Always!

Mike: Hello, Walter.

Walter: Before I hand this over, I need something from you.

Mike: And what's that?

Walter: The names of your nine men.

Mike: [scoffs] Why? You're never gonna pay 'em off. What's the point?

Walter: The point is, Mike, it affects me. It affects Jesse too, and we deserve to know.

Mike: The only thing left to do now is leave town, you understand?

Walter: "Leave town." Wow. Yeah, I just can't up and leave like you, Mike. I've got a family. I got people who depend on me.

Mike: Yeah.

[Mike walks up to Walter and takes the satchel of money.]

Mike: Goodbye, Walter.

[Mike begins to walk away.]

Walter: You're welcome!

[Mike turns around and approaches Walter again]

Mike: I'm sorry, what?

Walter: I want those names, Mike. You owe me that much.

Mike: I don't owe you a damn thing. All of this – falling apart like this – is on you!

Walter: Wow. Wow. Oh, that's some kind of logic right there, Mike. You screw up, get yourself followed by the DEA and now suddenly this is all my fault? Why don't you walk me through this, Mike?

Mike: We had a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch! We had Fring, we had a lab, we had everything we needed, and it all ran like clockwork...

Walter Oh, my God...

Mike: ...You could have shut your mouth, cooked, and made as much money as you ever needed! It was perfect! But no! You just had to blow it up! You, and your pride and your ego! You just had to be the man! If you'd done your job, known your place, we'd all be fine right now!

Walter: I just...I just realized that Lydia has the names. I can get 'em from her. I'm sorry, Mike. This...this whole thing could have been avoided–

Mike: Shut the fuck up and let me die in peace.

[Mike pauses, then falls off the log as he dies.]

Gliding Over All [5.08][edit]

Jesse: So what's the story? Did you get to Mike?

Walter: Mmm hmm.

Jesse: He get out safe?

Walter: He's gone.

Jesse: Alright. So what about those nine guys? They got no reason not to talk now. So what do we do?

Walter: We? Who's we? There is no we anymore. I'm the only vote left. And I'll handle it.

[Jesse walks out, then turns to look back. Walter shuts the garage door]

Walter: So?

Lydia: Maybe we should order something. Do you want a coffee or something?

Walter: Not just now.

Lydia: I think this will play better if you order something.

Walter: I think this will play just fine. I'm not thirsty. So let's take a look at the list.

[Pause.]

Walter: Lydia, I've come all this way. You do have the list?

Lydia: Yes, I have it.

Walter: Good.

Lydia: It's just not written down.

Walter: And why is that?

Lydia: It's in my head. Safer there.

Walter: I see. Then I suggest you pick up a pen.

Lydia: Not just yet.

Walter: It was my understanding that attending to these nine names was precisely what you wanted.

Lydia: Ten names now. Ten. Counting the lawyer.

Walter: Yes, ten, counting the lawyer. So...what? Am I not tying up loose ends for our mutual benefit?

Lydia: You are tying up loose ends, and I don't want to be one of them. Once I give you that list, I've served my purpose, and then maybe I'm just one more person who knows too much.

Walter: So you put that list in my hands, and in your mind, I immediately just murder you? Just right here, in this restaurant...

Lydia: No. Not right here, of course.

Walter: ...Right here in this public place, immediately?

Lydia: It's not what I—

Walter: Listen, Lydia. You made me promise on my children's lives that I guarantee your safety.

Lydia: From Mike. You guaranteed that I'd be safe from Mike. There's no way he'd ever go for this, you getting rid of his guys. You wouldn't be doing this — the names — if Mike were still a factor.

[Walter stares at Lydia knowingly]

Lydia: Yeah. That's what I thought.

Hank: Been thinking about this summer job I used to have.

Walter: Oh, yeah?

Hank: Back in college, I'd spend my days...marking trees in the woods with those orange spray cans.

Walter: Marking trees?

Hank: Yeah, crews would come in later and find the trees I tagged and cut 'em down. First you go in and you mark locations for your skid trails and landings. Then you choose specific trees all within a selected grid. Every day, I'd go back — hiking — pick up where I'd left off.

Walter: Huh...sounds nice, being out in the woods all day.

Hank: Ehhh, it wasn't so great. I'd get sunburned...there were mosquitoes. Just wanted to make a few bucks. Buy beer. I've been thinking about that job more and more lately. Maybe I should've enjoyed it more. Tagging trees is a lot better than chasing monsters.

[Inside a storage bin, Skyler uncovers a large, fairly neat pile of money]

Skyler: This is it. This is what you've been working for. I rented this place and I started bringing it here, because...I didn't know what else to do. I gave up counting it. I mean, I had to. It was just so much, so fast. I...I tried weighing it. I figured one bill of any denomination weighs a gram. There are 454 grams to a pound, but...there's a variety of denominations. So...

Walter: How much is this?

Skyler: I have no earthly idea. I truly don't. I just stack it up, keep it dry, spray it for silverfish. There is more money here than we could spend in ten lifetimes. I certainly can't launder it, not with 100 car washes. Walt...I want my kids back. I want my life back. Please tell me...how much is enough? How big does this pile have to be?

[Hank is sitting on the toilet, reading Walt's copy of "Leaves of Grass" by Walt Whitman, when he notices a handwritten message:

"To my other favorite W.W.

It's an honour working with you.

Fondly G.B."]

[Hank flashes back to a conversation in "Bullet Points"]

Hank: "To W.W. My star, my perfect silence." W.W. I mean, who do you figure that is, y'know? Woodrow Wilson? Willy Wonka? [beat] Walter White?

Walter: Heh. You got me.

[Hank looks up in shocked realization]

Blood Money [5.09][edit]

Walter: Hello, Carol.

Skinny Pete: What do you think all those sparkles and shit are? Transporters are breaking you apart right down to your molecules and bones. They're makin' a copy. That dude who comes out on the other side? He's not you. He's a color Xerox.

Badger: So you're telling me every time Kirk went into the transport he was killing himself? So over the whole series, there was, like, 147 Kirks?

Skinny Pete: At least. Dude, no, why do you think McCoy never liked to beam nowhere? 'Cause he's a doctor, bitch! Look it up, it's science!

Badger: Ever tell you about my Star Trek script?

Skinny Pete: Star Trek script?

Badger: Yeah! I gotta write it down is all. The Enterprise is five parsecs out of Rigel XII. Nothing's going on, Neutral Zone is quiet, the crew is bored, so they put on a pie-eating contest. The whole crew's in the galley. They're eating tulaberry pies–

Skinny Pete: Tulaberry?

Badger: Tulaberries. From Gamma Quadrant, yo.

Skinny Pete: That's Voyager, dude!

Badger: Okay, blueberries then, and they're eating blueberry pies...

Skinny Pete: Better.

Badger: ...as fast as the replicator can churn 'em out. [imitates replicator noise.] Burdalurdalurp-pssst! Burdalurdalurp-pssst! Finally, it's down to just three: Kirk, Spock, and Chekov. Okay, Spock always wins these things.

Skinny Pete: How is Spock gonna beat Kirk, yo? Spock's like a toothbrush! Look at Kirk! He's got room to spare!

Badger: Spock has total Vulcan control over his digestion! You wanna hear this or not?

Skinny Pete: Yeah, yeah, go.

Badger: Okay, finally – Kirk, he can't take it anymore. He yorks. Now it's just down to Chekov and Spock. But Chekov, y'see, he's got a whole fat stack of quatloos riding on this. And he has figured out a way to win. He's got Scotty back in the transporter room locked in on Chekov's stomach. Every time Chekov eats a pie, Scotty beams it right out of him.

Skinny Pete: Where is he sending them, the toilet?

Badger: Space.

Skinny Pete: Uugghh!

Badger: There's blueberries just floating out there frozen – because it's in space – and Chekov is just shoveling them into his mouth, and–and Spock is like, "I can't believe this Russian is defeating me!" Meanwhile, Scotty's in the transporter room fiddling with levers when Lieutenant Uhura comes in and she's got, like, her big pointies, and Scotty's fingers are all sweaty.

Skinny Pete: Ohh!

Badger: Chekov screams, he sprays blood out of his mouth...

Skinny Pete: Ohhhh!

Badger: ...Scotty beamed his guts into space!

Skinny Pete: No way!

Walter: Well, it's good to see you up and about.

Hank: Yeah.

Walter: How you feeling?

Hank: Well, you know. I've been better, but… I don't know.

Walter: Have you… Did you get to see a doctor? I mean, when one of these things last more than three days, you really should get that checked.

Hank: Yeah, no, I… I did and I'm fine. I'm, uh… I'm what they say on the upswing, you know?

Walter: Um. Good, good to hear.

Hank: Yeah.

Walter: When I heard you weren't going in to work, I… Well, looks like you have the work coming to you. Perks of being the boss, huh?

Hank: Yeah, you know. How's, uh… How's things at the car wash?

Walter: Good. Yeah, really good. Hey, did you have any of that potato salad?

Hank: I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, I mean.

Walter: No one else got sick, so you probably shouldn't worry about it. Well, Skyler will be very happy to hear that you're felling better. Which reminds me, I better get back to it. If there's anything I can do…

[Hank nods.]

Walter: Feel better.

[Walter pats Hank's back. Then Walter slowly walks out of the garage, stops and turns around.]

Walter: You know. You're going to laugh, but I have to ask you... about this.

[Walter holds up the GPS tracker to Hank's face.]

Walter: Believe it or not, I found this on my car. I mean, it looks just like the GPS tracker that we used on Gus Fring, doesn't it? Back when we were tracking him, just the two of us. You wouldn't know anything about this, would you, Hank?

[Hank closes the garage door.]

Walter: You okay? I gotta say, I don't like the way you're looking at me right now.

[After a beat, Hank punches Walt in the face and knocks him over a pile of boxes. He slams Walt against the garage door.]

Walter: Hank.

Hank: It was you. All along, it was you! You son of a bitch. You drove me into traffic to keep me from that laundry...

Walter: Calm down.

Hank: That call I got telling me Marie was in the hospital? That wasn't Pinkman. You had my cell number. You killed ten witnesses to save your sorry ass.

Walter: Listen to me.

Hank: You bombed a nursing home. Heisenberg. Heisenberg! You lying, two-faced sack of shit!

Walter: Hank, look... I don't–I don't know where this is coming from Hank, but–

Hank: I swear to Christ, I will put you under the jail.

Walter: Let's take a breath, okay? Just listen to yourself. These wild accusations, they could destroy our family! And for what?

Hank: Don't you give me shit about family!

[Beat.]

Walter: Hank, my cancer is back.

Hank: Good. Rot, you son of a bitch.

Walter: I'm sorry you feel that way. I wanna beat this thing. I do. I'm back on chemo, and I am fighting like hell. But the truth is in six months you won't have someone to prosecute. But even– even if somehow you were able to convince anyone I was capable of doing these things, you and I both know I would never see the inside of a jail cell. I'm a dying man who runs a car wash. My right hand to God, that is all that I am. What's the point?

Hank: Have Skyler bring the kids here, and then we'll talk.

Walter: That is not going to happen.

Hank: I don't know who you are. I don't even know who I'm talking to.

Walter: If that's true – if you don't know who I am – then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.

Buried [5.10][edit]

[Hank meets with Skyler and tries to convince her to turn against Walt]

Hank: Skyler, my– my head is spinning. And yours... I–I can't even imagine. So much makes sense to me now. You jumping in the pool. You sending us your kids, I get it. I just wished I'd seen it sooner. He's a monster. He's a– Look, I don't know what he did to you to force you to keep his secrets. If he threatened you, or whatever mind games he played. I don't know if there was abuse. But I want you to know that you can be open with me. Don't hold anything back, okay? I mean, I don't even understand if you know the full extent of this, what he's done. Not just the meth cooking, but the lives he's destroyed. But look, that's all behind you. Starting now, you're done being his victim. Because here's what we're gonna do. Sky, here's what we're gonna do: you and the kids are gonna move back to our house where you'll be safe, where he can't get to you.

Skyler: Hank, does Marie...

Hank: No, no, we'll get to that soon enough. It's just you and me right now, okay?

Skyler: Okay.

Hank: Before we, um, before we get you back to the house, I...

[Hank takes out a recording device and turns it on.]

Hank: I'm gonna ask you to tell me everything you can. Um, take as long as you like. Just, um, start from the beginning when you first became aware of Walt's activities, and just– just try to be as detailed as you can.

Skyler: Um, what? Right–right here? Right now?

Hank: Sure, why not? While it's still fresh, you know? And just, um, just, um, remember to, um, just state your name and the date before you start.

Skyler: Hank, do... do we have to– have to do this right now?

Hank: No, we—we don't have to do this right now. No.

[Hank turns off the recording device.]

Hank: But just here's the thing. You see, I need something solid that I can bring to my people. A statement on the record. So you testifying to Walt's criminal activities – whatever you know – can go a long, long way here. Okay, I mean, you see, building a case this big, gathering all this evidence, enough to get a conviction– we're talking a long-haul proposition here. And I don't want that bastard running out the clock. But with your testimony—

Skyler: Wait, what do you mean "running out the clock?"

Hank: His cancer. His cancer's back. So he said. He didn't tell you? Who's to say it's even true? Lying piece of shit. Look, regardless, I mean, we'll just assume. Fine. Okay? You know what? That son of a bitch looks me in the eye and he says if what I know is true, if... he'll be dead before I can prove it. The balls on that son of a– I got all these little pieces. They're all part of the story, right? But they don't mean much on their own. But when you start telling me what you know, when you start filling the gaps, I'll have him in lockup before the sun goes down.

Skyler: Hank, I... I... I think maybe... maybe I need a lawyer.

Hank: What? No, no, no, no, you don't.

Skyler: I– I think maybe I do.

Hank: Skyler, understand, I am here to help you. But to do that, I need your help. We start bringing in lawyers and they start putting up roadblocks where they don't need to be, and my ability to control the situation diminishes.

Skyler: Just for my own protection. It just, you know, it seems to make sense that I should have someone to talk to.

Hank: Skyler, I am your– your biggest advocate here, and I'm telling you, for your own good, you need to get out ahead of this thing. I mean, you start – you know – getting defensive, I– I'm not saying it's right, but I'll tell you it's a fact. The D.A. will look at you differently.

Skyler: But you don't know that.

Hank: Skyler, yes, I–I do. I've been around long enough to know. It's in your best interest to get out there and show the world you have nothing to hide. Look, no one in the world is more important to me than your sister. So believe me when I tell you that your best interest and mine are the same.

Skyler: But Hank, you telling me not to talk to a lawyer doesn't sound like that at all. It sounds like what you want... what you want is to get Walt at all costs.

Hank: Okay. Okay. Let's just slow down. Slow down. You can. You can talk to a lawyer later. But right now, what we need to do, we need to go get the kids, we need to bring them to my house where they are safe. And then we need to help each other put this animal away, okay?

[Hank gets up from the table.]

Hank: Come on.

Skyler: Hank.

Hank: No, come on. Let's go to the house and we'll deal with it there. Come on.

Skyler: Am I under arrest?

Hank: What?

Skyler: Am I under arrest?

[Hank sits back down.]

Hank: Skyler. I–I– You're not thinking straight about this. You have to listen to me. I–Skyler...

[Skyler gets up from the table. Hank also gets up and grabs her arm.]

Hank: Skyler, Skyler, Skyler–

Skyler: Am I under arrest?

Hank: No. No. No.

Skyler: Am I under arrest?!

Hank: No. Sky– Shhh!

Skyler: Am I under arrest?! HANK, ARE YOU ARRESTING ME?

Hank: Sky–

Skyler: AM I UNDER ARREST?!

[Skyler violently shakes off Hank's grab and leaves the restaurant.]

[Walt's phone rings]

Walter: That's her.

Saul: Don't.

Walter: I have to talk to her.

Saul: You don't have to do– You answer that phone and Schrader's on the other end of the line with a legal wire tap recording everything you say, you're not doing anybody any favors, except for him. In fact, why do you still have a battery in that thing? Take it out. They might be trying to triangulate your movements. I'm not being paranoid. Do it.

Walter: Can't believe she went to him.

Saul: She just panicked.

Walter: She went right to him without even talking to me. Without a moment's hesitation.

Saul: I'm not saying it's not bad. It's bad. But it could be worse.

Walter: Really, how much worse could it be? Exactly, in your estimation?

Saul: What does she actually know? What has she seen, hmm? Nothing. It's hearsay. It's all he said, she said. I mean, the only real evidence that she can lead them to is the money, and once we take care of that, well, then they got nothing.

Walter: Nothing. Hank knows, that is not nothing.

Saul: Yeah. I can't exactly see him turning the other cheek.

[Pause]

Saul: Of course, there's always, um…

Walter: Always what?

Saul: Well, have you given any thought to, um, sending him to a trip to Belize?

Walter: Belize?

Saul: Yeah, Belize. You know, where, um, where Mike went to. Off on a trip to, um, Belize.

Walter: Saul, you better not be saying what I think you're saying.

Saul: It's just conjecture on my part.

Walter: Hank is family.

Saul: Okay, it's an option that my–

Walter: You understand that?

Saul: It's an option that has worked very well for you in the recent past.

Walter: Jesus, what is wrong with you?

Saul: My mistake. Family. Off limit. Of course. I'm just throwing thoughts out there. This is a safe room, right?

Walter: Jesus, send him to Belize. I'll send you to Belize.

Skyler: It's true. The cancer's back. Is this it?

Walter: Does that make you happy?

Skyler: I can't remember the last time I was happy.

Walter: Just tell me. I know you talked with Hank. I know you made a deal. Skyler, I'll make this easy. I'll give myself up if you promise me one thing: you keep the money. Never speak of it, never give it up. You pass it on to our children, give them everything. Will you do that? Please? Please, don't let me have done all this for nothing.

Skyler: The way Hank talks, he's got his suspicions. Not much else. You can't give yourself up without giving up the money. That's the way this works, Walt. So maybe our best move here is to stay quiet.

[Hank talks to Marie about his mixed feelings regarding going after Walt]

Hank: Look, the day I go in with this, it's the last day of my career, Marie. I'm going to have to walk in there, look those people in the eye and admit that the person I've been chasing the past year is my own brother-in-law. It's over for me. Ten seconds after I tell this story, I'm a civilian. Then how can we help Skyler when she comes to her senses? When I go in there, I'm bringing proof. Not suspicion. I can be the man who caught him, at least.

Confessions [5.11][edit]

Hank: Mr. Pinkman. How are you today? Not so good, huh? 'Course, uh, I might be able to help you out. I wanna talk to you about your partner, Heisenberg. See, I know he's my brother-in-law, Walt.

[Jesse looks at Hank, slightly surprised]

Hank: Oh, yeah. That's the look. Lucky for you, I'm more interested in him. So I got an offer. If you help me out here, tell me all about you and him and your little meth business, maybe I talk to my friends at the APD and make all this go away. I know he's the mastermind here. Plus... I'm thinking based on your recent activities that, uh... maybe there's a little trouble in paradise? Maybe you guys aren't, uh, getting along so good? I'm right, aren't I?

Jesse: Eat me.

Hank: Sure that's how you want to play this?

Jesse: Why don't you try and beat it out of me? That's your thing, right?

Hank: He really did a number on you, didn't he? I don't know, but... happy people usually don't go around... throwing millions of dollars away. I don't think, uh, Walt's gonna be patting you on the back for that. But maybe that's the point. 'Cause, you see, I get that. My own brother-in-law, lying to me for over a year, using me. Maybe you understand that feeling. Help me out here, Jesse... and we can put him away. I know you want that. I think you wanna talk.

Jesse: Not to you.

[Saul enters the interrogation room, followed by two detectives.]

Saul: Agent Schrader. Beat any good suspects lately? [to the two detectives] Hey, tall and taller, ask him his history with my client. He knocked the poor kid unconscious last time they were alone together. So what'll it be, gentlemen, a civil rights lawsuit the size of Montana? 'Cause I'll oblige you. [Hank starts to leave] Oh, so long, Rocky. Keep your left up. Detectives, I'm inviting you to leave.

[Hank and Marie watch Walter's "confession" tape at home]

Walter: My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.

[After watching the "confession" tape]

Marie: Who do you think he's shown this to?

Hank: No one. It's a threat. It's what he will do if I don't back off.

Marie: I think you should show this to Ramey. Just get ahead of it. That video is a bunch of lies, Hank. Anybody who knows you will know–

Hank: $177,000? Hell's he talking about? Marie?

Marie: They told me it was gambling money.

Hank: What was gambling money? Oh, Jesus Christ, Marie. Oh, God, no.

Marie: How was I supposed to know? How was I supposed to know where it really came from?

Hank: Why were they paying for my medical bills? What about my insurance?

Marie: Insurance wouldn't have covered the treatment that you needed, and I... I just wanted the best for you–

Hank: Why didn't you tell me?

Marie: Because I knew that you would refuse it, and without it, you may never have been able to walk again.

Hank: Oh, Christ, Marie. You killed me here. I mean, it's the– that's the last nail. That's the last nail in the coffin.

Marie: What do we do?

Walter: Saul knows a man. He specializes in getting people new identities. He would move you someplace far away, set you up with a whole new life. Yeah, I know. It sounds a little extreme. But maybe it's exactly what you need. You know, I really think that would be good for you. Clean slate. My, just think about it. You get a job. Something legitimate, something you like. Meet a girl, start a family even. Hell, you're still so damn young. You know, what's here for you now, anyway? I tell you, if I could, I'd trade places. Whole lifetime ahead of you, with a chance to hit the reset button. In a few years, this might all feel like nothing more than a bad dream.

[beat]

Jesse: Would you just, for once, stop working me?

Walter: What are you talking about?

Jesse: Can you just, uh, stop working me for, like, ten seconds straight? Stop jerking me around?

Walter: Jesse, I am not working you.

Jesse: Yes. Yes, you are. All right? Just drop the whole concerned dad thing and tell me the truth. I mean, you're– you're acting like me leaving town is– is all about me and turning over a new leaf, but it's really– it's really about you. I mean, you need me gone, 'cause your dickhead brother-in-law is never gonna let up. Just say so. Just ask me for a favor. Just tell me you don't give a shit about me, and it's either this– it's either this or you'll kill me the same way you killed Mike. I mean, isn't that what this is all about? Huh? Us meeting way the hell out here? In case I say no? Come on. Just tell me you need this.

[Walter slowly walks up to Jesse and hugs him.]

[Jesse breaks into Saul's office]

Saul: He a no-show? Why didn't you call? Why didn't you... [Jesse punches Saul in the face] Stop! [Jesse keeps hitting him] Code Red! Huell! Get in here! [Saul tries to reach for a gun hidden in a drawer, but Jesse grabs it first]

[Huell and Francesca enter the room, Jesse points the gun at them]

Jesse: Back off! You, stay where you are.

Saul: [at gun point] What? I don't know what happened here. What did I do?

Jesse: You stole it off of me. You and him– you took it right out of my pocket, didn't you?

Saul: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down. Yes. Okay. I had Huell lift your dope. I told you I couldn't risk the guy not taking you.

Jesse: No! Before! The cigarette! You stole the cigarette.

Saul: What?

Jesse: The ricin cigarette! You had him steal it off of me! And all for that asshole Mr. White! He poisoned Brock! He poisoned Brock, and you– you helped him!

Saul: Okay, Jesse. Calm down.

Jesse: Say it again! Tell me one more time to calm down! Come on!

Saul: I'm sorry. Yes. Okay. I had Huell lift your cigarette, but Walt made me! He told me he was helping you, he was saving you. I never would've agreed to it if I'd known what he was gonna do. Jesse, you gotta believe me. I didn't want any of this!

Rabid Dog [5.12][edit]

Skyler: So… What's your course of action, here?

Walter: Saul's guy, Kuby, tracks him down, which shouldn't take long, and when he does, I'm gonna… I'm gonna talk to him. Make him see reason.

Skyler: "Talk to him. Make him see reason." So, I'm clear, those are just euphemisms… you're using here, right?

Walter: No, what? Wh-what does that mean? My God.

...

Walter: I– I don't know how we got off on whatever it is we're talking about here. But clearly, I haven't explained the situation well enough, because this is a big overreaction. We all need to just take a deep breath and calm down, because Jesse isn't just some– some– some rabid dog. This is a person.

Skyler: A person that is a threat to us. I mean, my God, where we are now with Hank and Marie and that awful tape we made. After everything we've done, you can't just talk to this person.

Walter: You're s-saying that I just... What– what exactly are you saying?

Skyler: We've come this far. For us. What's one more?

[An enraged Jesse has broken into and is about to burn down the White residence. Hank bursts in, gun drawn.]

Hank: Jesse! Stop what you're doing and turn and face me!

Jesse: [sobbing] You wanna – you wanna know what he did? You wanna hear about it?

Hank: Jesse, put out the lighter.

Jesse: He poisoned a little kid. An eight-year-old boy. Just because, you know– just as a move!

Hank: Walt's a bastard. Secret's out. We'll talk about it. But I need you to put out the lighter, okay? Look, Jesse... Jesse, I don't want to kill you. And you don't wanna be killed. So put it out.

Jesse: He can't keep getting away with this! He can't keep getting away with this!

Hank: He won't. You really wanna burn him down? Let's do it together.

Marie: [seeing her suitcases by the door] What's the story here?

Hank: Oh, uh, something's come up. I thought you might wanna get out of the house for a day or two.

Marie: You thought I might wanna pack up and move out of my own house. Why? What's going on?

Hank: Look, I don't wanna get into it now. But you know that thing with Walt? There's been a development.

Marie: What happened? Are you in danger?

Hank: No, no, no, no, not at all. [Picks up suitcases] It's just a fluid situation, and I think it might go a little smoother if you're not here. It'll be great, you know? I booked you a spa package at La Posada. You can do that river stones thing.

Marie: Hank, what the hell is going on? Hank?

Hank: We have a guest.

[Hank opens the door, showing Marie a sleeping Jesse]

Hank: He was a little keyed-up. Gave him a couple sleeping pills. [He shuts the door] Okay, so listen. I bring that kid in and put him in the system, Walt's gonna find out five minutes later. You know, my last ten witnesses died in jail, remember? And I can't use a DEA safehouse without writing him up. I can't risk a motel. I know it sounds crazy, but this is the best place for him. For now. Just a day or two, tops.

Marie: Okay, just answer me this one question: is this bad for Walt?

Hank: Yeah. Very.

Marie: Good. I'm staying. I'll heat up lasagna. [hears ringtone] Phone's ringing.

Jesse: Look– look, you two guys are just… guys, okay? Mr. White... he's the devil. You know, he is– he is smarter than you, he is luckier than you. Whatever– Whatever you think is supposed to happen– I'm telling you, the exact reverse opposite of that is gonna happen, okay?

Walter: [answering the phone] Hello?

Jesse: Nice try, asshole.

Walter: Jesse, where are you? I just wanna talk to you.

Jesse: No. I'm not doing what you want anymore. Okay, asshole? This is just a heads-up to let you know I'm coming for you. See, I decided that burning down your house is nothing. Next time, I'm gonna get you where you really live.

To'hajiilee [5.13][edit]

Walter: One cook... after the job is done.

[Walt sees a photo showing a barrel with stacks of cash in it. His phone rings and he answers.]

Walter: Jesse?

Jesse: Got my photo, bitch? That barrel look familiar? 'Cause I just found six more exactly like it.

Walter: [running out of the car wash] Jesse…

[Camera pans to Walt driving erratically on the street.]

Jesse: That big bastard who works for Goodman– I pistol-whipped that melon he calls a head till he gives up what he knew, which led me to your rental van, which turns out had GPS. How do you like that, genius? Guess you didn't think of everything.

Walter: Look, Jesse, I don't know what you plan on doing here, but–

Jesse: Well, I'll give you a hint, Walt. It involves a couple of five-gallon cans of gasoline and a lighter.

Walter: No, no, no, no, no! Jesse, please, listen to me–

Jesse: No, you listen to me, bitch! You get your ass out here as fast as you can.

Walter: Yes, I'm coming! Okay? Okay!

Jesse: And don't even think about calling anyone for help, all right? You hang up on me, put me on hold, I lost my call for any reason – as soon as you do, I'm burning all of it. All right? One big bonfire. You get the picture?

Walter: I get it, I get it! Okay!

Jesse: All right. Well, you better hurry, 'cause I'm burning ten grand a minute till you get here, starting right now.

Walter: I said I'm coming! Don't you touch my money!

Jesse: Fire in the hole, bitch! There goes ten G's! Ahhh, nice orange flames!

Walter: No. No, no, no, no, NO! Jesse– Jesse, please. I'm dying. My cancer is back. You're not hurting anyone but my family. Okay? Look, I– I can't spend this money. It's not for me. I won't be around long enough to use it. It belongs to my children.

Jesse: Oh, you're gonna talk about kids. You're seriously gonna go there?

Walter: I am sorry about Brock.

Jesse: No, you're not!

Walter: I am!

Jesse: You're not, but you're gonna be!

Walter: Yes, I am sorry about Brock! But he's alive, isn't he?! He's fine, just as I planned it! Don't you think I knew exactly how much to give him? That I had it all measured out?! Come on! Don't you know me by now?

Jesse: I know you're a lying, evil scumbag, that's what I know. Manipulating people. Messing with their heads.

Walter: Open your eyes! Can't you see that I needed you on my side to kill Gus?! I ran over those gangbangers! I killed Emilio and Krazy-8! Why? I did all of those things to try to save your life as much as mine, only you're too stupid to know it!

Hank: [after handcuffing Walt] Agent Gomez, should we flip a coin for the honors?

Steven: No way, man. It's all yours.

Hank: Walter White, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you at the government's expense. Do you understand these rights as I have just recited them to you?

Walter: [to Jesse] Coward.

[Jesse spits on Walt's face.]

Hank: [over the phone] Hey, baby. I got him. Dead to rights.

Marie: You got Walt?

Hank: Yeah. I got him in handcuffs as we speak. Want me to wave to him for you? [waves at Walt, handcuffed in the car] Huh? Well, he's not, uh– he's not feeling too friendly.

Marie: Oh, my God. You did it. Thank God.

Hank: Things are gonna be a little rough for the next couple weeks, but they'll get better. Baby, you okay?

Marie: I'm much better now.

Hank: I gotta go. It may be awhile before I get home. I love you.

Marie: I love you too.

Ozymandias [5.14][edit]

[Jack points the gun at Hank and prepares to shoot him.]

Walter: No! Jack! No! Jack! Jack! Jack! No! No! Don't! Jack! Don't! No!

[Jack signals Kenny to bring Walter out of the SUV.]

Walter: No! Jack! Jack! No! [walks toward Jack] Jack! No! Don't kill him.

Kenny: Uh-uh, back it up.

Walter: [walks toward Jack] Don't kill him. Don't kill him. Jack.

Kenny: [pushes Walter away from Jack] Get back here.

Jack: The hell not? He's DEA.

Walter: No. He's– He's family.

Jack: Say again?

Walter: He's my family. He's my brother-in-law.

Jack: Didn't cross your mind to maybe tell us you had a DEA agent for a brother-in-law? [to Todd] Did you know about this?

Walter: I called you off, remember? I told you not to come.

Jack: Well, it seems to me we did you a solid.

Walter: You weren't supposed to be here.

Jack: Too late now. How about you telling me what was going down out here? Hmm? Yeah, you and your brother-in-law don't seem to be getting along too well.

Walter: It doesn't– doesn't matter. It doesn't concern you.

Jack: We just wasted his partner here and he's wearing a bullet, so yeah, I'd say it does concern me.

Walter: This is... between him and me.

Jack: No cavalry comin'?

Walter: No.

Hank: You bet your ass the cavalry's comin'.

Walter: [to Jack] No! No, no. Jack, Jack! No. The DEA doesn't know about this. Not yet. [to Hank] Hank, nothing can change what just happened, but you can walk out of here alive if you just promise us that you'll– you'll let this go.

[Hank scoffs.]

Jack: Yeah, I thought as much. Sorry, man, just no scenario where this guy lives.

Walter: No, no, no, listen! I have money! It's buried right here. It's here. It's $80 million. $80 million.

Jack: So, that's what got this party started, huh? But this money of yours won't do me much good in prison.

Walter: You can– you can go anywhere. You can do anything. Just think about that. You can have any future that you want. Jack. Eighty. Million. All you've got to do is let him go.

Kenny: That's a hell of an offer.

Jack: [to Hank] What do you think, Fed? Would you take that deal?

Walter: It's Hank. His name is Hank.

Jack: How about it, Hank? Should I let you go?

Hank: My name is ASAC Schrader. And you can go fuck yourself.

Walter: Hank... listen to me. You gotta tell him. You gotta tell him now that we can work this out. Please. Please.

Hank: What? You want me to beg? You're the smartest guy I ever met. And you're too stupid to see... he made up his mind ten minutes ago. [to Jack] Do what you're gonna do–

[Jack shoots Hank.]

Jack: Jesus, what's with all the greed here? It's unattractive.

Walter: [to Jesse] I watched Jane die. I was there. And I watched her die. I watched her overdose and choke to death. I could have saved her. But I didn't.

Walter Jr.: You're completely out of your mind.

Skyler: It's the truth.

Marie: It is. Flynn.

Walter Jr.: Then both of you are out of your minds. You're full of shit, is what you are. Both of you. If– if this is true, then how could you keep this a secret? I mean, why? Why would you go along?

Skyler: I'll be asking myself that for the rest of my life.

Walter Jr.: So you're saying all of this time you were lying about this? I mean, so you're saying… you're a liar. You… you just admitted it. So were you lying then, or are you lying now? Which lie is it?

Marie: Flynn, honey, your mother is telling you the truth. Right here, right now. Believe it.

Walter Jr.: You know what? This– this is bullshit. This is bullshit. [stands up to try to get his phone] I wanna talk to dad.

Marie: Your dad's in custody. You won't be able to talk to him for a while, sweetie.

Walter Jr.: I am calling uncle Hank.

Marie: I've tried. He's not answering. Probably because he is in the thick of it with your father. Honey, I know this is a lot to process, Flynn, but if you could just breathe. Just try to breathe and just trust–

Walter Jr.: Really? Really? Try to breathe?

[Walter Jr. barges out of the office]

Skyler: Walt. Why are you here?

Walter: Skyler, please, will you just go get your things? For you and your kids. Right now. This is our priority.

Skyler: Hank had you in custody. He wouldn't just let you go. Where is he?

Walter: I–

Skyler: Where is Hank?

Walter: I… I negotiated…

Skyler: Negotiated?

Walter: Um, yes.

Skyler: What does that mean?

Walter: It means… we are fine, okay? We are. We're fine. Everything is gonna be fine. But we need to leave right now. All right? Can we do that?

Skyler: What happened? Where is Hank? Why do we need to leave?

Walter: I need both of you to trust me. Right now, okay? Please just work with me here, and I promise I will explain everything later, okay?

Skyler: Where… is… Hank?

Walter: Skyler. [walking toward her] I have $11 million in cash right outside. We can have a fresh start. Whole new lives. All we have to do is go. We have to go right now. That's all we have to do.

Skyler: You killed him. You killed Hank.

Walter Jr.: What?

Walter: No. No. No.

Skyler: You killed him.

Walter: No. No! NO! I tried to save him.

Walter Jr.: Uncle Hank is dead? I– Mom, it can't be true.

Walter: Just stop, please.

Walter Jr.: It just can't be true.

Walter: Everything- everything is gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be fine. I promise you. But we need to leave right now.

Skyler: [answering the phone] Walt. Where's Holly?

Walter: Are you alone? No police?

Skyler: No. No police. Where are you? Where's Holly? Walt!

Walter: What the hell is wrong with you? Why can't you do one thing I say?

Skyler: What?

Walter: This is your fault. This is what comes of your disrespect. I told you, Skyler. I warned you for a solid year. You cross me, there will be consequences. What part of that didn't you understand?

Skyler: You took my child.

Walter: 'Cause you need to learn.

Skyler: You bring her back!

Walter: Maybe now you'll listen. Maybe now you'll use your damn head. You know, you never believed in me. You were never grateful for anything I did for this family. [imitates Skyler's voice] "Oh, no. Walt. Walt, you have to stop. You have to stop this. It's immoral. It's illegal. Someone might get hurt." You're always whining and complaining about how I make my money, just dragging me down. While I do everything. And now– now you tell my son what I do after I've told you and told you to keep your damn mouth shut. You stupid bitch. How dare you?

Skyler: [realising what he is doing] I'm sorry.

Walter: You, you have no right to discuss anything about what I do. Oh, what– what the hell do you know about it anyway? Nothing. I built this. Me. Me alone. Nobody else!

Skyler: You're right. You're right.

Walter: You mark my words, Skyler. Toe the line, or you will wind up just like Hank.

Skyler: Walt. Tell me what happened. Where is Hank? Please. We need to know.

Walter: You're never gonna see Hank again.

[Marie, who is listening, starts crying uncontrollably.]

Walter: He crossed me. You think about that. Family or no. You let that sink in.

[Walt also cries, silently.]

Skyler: Walt. I just want Holly back. Please, Walt. Just come home.

Walter: [long pause, as he stifles a sob] I've still got things left to do.

Granite State [5.15][edit]

[NOTE: This episode is 55 minutes long]

[After watching Jesse implicate Todd for killing a kid on tape, Jack and Todd walk out of the house.]

Todd: Wait, Uncle Jack, hold up. I think we should keep him for a while, get a couple of cooks under our belt.

Jack: You seriously giving me this turn-the-other-cheek crap? He ratted you out. Personally.

Todd: We still got 600 gallons of methylamine.

Jack: Meth? Who gives a shit about meth? We won the lottery here. We've got all the money in the world. You're talking to me about selling crank?

Todd: I mean, this is millions, Uncle Jack. No matter how much you got, how do you turn your back on more?

[Jack stares at Todd knowingly.]

Jack: You little...son of a bitch. It's that Lydia woman. [putting his arm on Todd's shoulder] You're sweet on her, you little bastard. [to Kenny] Hey, Kenny. You believe this?

Kenny: [makes a sexual hand gesture] Hey, it's all about this right here, huh?

[Jack lets go of Todd as his crew laugh.]

Jack: Come on. You can do better. I mean, that one's so uptight, she's probably got a wood chipper for a coochie. You stick it in down there, you're pulling back a stump. Ah, what the hell. Heart wants what the heart wants, right? Let's go back and watch some more of that crybaby rat, huh?

[Jack and Todd walk back toward the house.]

[Walter and Saul are in the basement of Ed's vacuum repair shop.]

Walter: ...What?

Saul: Nothing.

Walter: You know what, make yourself useful. Give me a list of hitters, mercenaries. Yes, yes, I remember – you've got "concerns." Don't worry, we'll take the time to vet them. Make sure there are no undercover cops on the team. Five should do it, providing they're the right men for the job.

Saul: I'm gonna hate myself for asking, but who are we hitting?

Walter: Jack Welker and his men. They murdered Hank. They stole my life's work.

Saul: I don't know any hitmen.

Walter: You know a guy who knows a guy– Just give me the contacts. Anybody in that world. I'm paying top dollar. We'll find them.

Saul: You mind if I give you a nickel's worth of advice, just for old times' sake? You're worried about your wife and kids? Don't leave. The way things are right now, some people – not me, mind you, but some people – might say you're leaving her high and dry.

Walter: "Some people" would be ignorant on the facts. "Some people" wouldn't know that as far as the police are concerned, Skyler is a blameless victim.

[Saul scoffs and waves off Walter.]

Walter: No no no, go ahead. Get it off your chest. Go on.

Saul: The phone call was a smart move. Kudos to you. Odds are it was recorded. It's gonna play great for a jury. It might even buy her a mistrial – in a year and a half. Until then, if they don't have you, they're going after her.

Walter: There's no point. She knows nothing.

Saul: Well too bad for her, then she's got nothing to trade. I hate to be a downer here, but there are two DEA agents missing, presumed dead. You think the Feds are gonna just let that go 'cause you hit the ejector seat? First thing they're gonna do, they will RICO your wife and kids out of the house. That condo is gone. Your bank accounts, they're frozen. Her picture's probably on TV right now, next to yours. Who's gonna hire her?

Walter: Money's no problem.

Saul: Well, I don't mean to contradict you, but getting it to her? Impossible. The Feds are just praying that you'll make contact. The Internet, the phone, it's all tapped. Hey, Mike was no dummy. But every time he tried to get his nest egg to his granddaughter, it ended up in Uncle Sam's pockets.

Walter: So you propose what?

Saul: Stay. Face the music. Hey, I mean, how much time have you got left? You walk in with your head held high, you'll be the John Dillinger of Metropolitan Detention Center...

Walter: No, no, no...

Saul: ...How bad is that? And you bring a barrel full of drug money, maybe that soothes some troubled waters. Maybe they let your family stay in the house. After all, the house predates the criminal enterprise–

Walter: God, do you think I want to run?! That's the last thing that I want! This... this changes nothing. What I do I do for my family. My money goes to my children! Not just this barrel – all of it! I'm going to kill Jack and his entire crew, and I'm going to take back what is mine and give it to my children, and then – and only then – am I through! Do you understand?

[Ed enters the room.]

Ed: Everything good?

Saul: Define "good."

Ed: You're set. Time to go. [To Walter.] You'll be a little longer. Still working on transportation.

Walter: Change of plans. He's coming with me.

Saul: No. No, that's–

Walter: We're going together. I can use him.

[Pause.]

Ed: I'll give you two a minute.

[Ed exits.]

Saul: Hey, I'm a civilian. I'm not your lawyer anymore. I'm nobody's lawyer. The fun's over. From here on out, I'm Mr. Low Profile, just another douchebag with a job and three pairs of Dockers. If I'm lucky, a month from now – best case scenario – I'm managing a Cinnabon in Omaha.

Walter: You're still a part of this, whether you like it or not.

Saul: I'm sorry. I don't think so.

[Walter menacingly approaches Saul and backs him to a wall.]

Walter: You remember what I told you? It's not over until–

[Walter breaks into a bad coughing fit.]

Saul: It's over.

[Saul exits.]

Todd: [to Andrea] Just so you know, this isn't personal.

[Todd shoots Andrea in the back of the head]

[Walt, hiding in New Hampshire, manages to telephone his son at school.]

Walter: Son, it's me. Please don't let on. Carmen's nearby, right? She cannot know. Son, are you there?

Walter Jr.: Y–yes.

Walter: It's so good to hear your voice. I– I… I, uh… Son, the things that they're saying… about me… I did wrong. I– I've made some terrible mistakes. But the reason were always… Things happened that… I– I never… intended. I never intended. Listen. Son, we don't have much time. Is Louis' family still at 4848 Newcombe? Son, your friend Louis Corbett, does his family still live in that same place up on Newcombe?

Walter Jr.: Y–yes.

Walter: Okay, good. Okay, he's– he's a good kid. He's– he's like you. He'll understand. I'm sending Louis a package. Now, it's addressed to Louis, but it's for you, your mother and your sister. There's– there's money inside. About $100,000. Okay? I think. It was all that I could fit into the box. It has to be a secret. And if anyone says a word, the police will take it. I wanted to give you so much more. But this is all I could do. Do you understand? Son? Can you hear me? Do you understand?

[Pause.]

Walter Jr.: You want to send money?

Walter: Yes. Good. Good, good. So, you'll– you'll talk to Louis, right?

Walter Jr.: You killed Uncle Hank. You killed him!

Walter: Wait. Wait, son.

Walter Jr.: No. What you did to mom– You asshole. You killed Uncle Hank.

Walter: Listen to me. You've got to listen to me.

Walter Jr.: Shut up. Just stop it. Sto–stop it. I don't want anything from you. I don't give a shit.

Walter: You need this money. Your mother–

Walter Jr.: You killed Uncle Hank. You killed him!

Walter: Your mother needs this money. It can't all be for nothing.

Walter Jr.: What you did– Just shut up.

Walter: Please.

Walter Jr.: Shut up.

Walter: Please.

Walter Jr.: Will you just– just leave us alone? You asshole. Why are you still alive? Why don't you just– just die already? Just– just die.

[Walter Jr. hangs up.]

Receptionist: DEA, Albuquerque district office. How may I direct your call?

Walter: I... I would like to speak to the agent in charge of the Walter White investigation.

Receptionist: Who may I say is calling?

Walter: ...Walter White.

Charlie Rose: [on television as Walter watches] But just yesterday, your charity, the Gretchen & Elliott Schwartz Foundation, announced a $28 million grant for drug abuse treatment centers throughout the Southwest.

Elliott: Charlie, the Southwest is our home, and we couldn't just ignore what's going on in our own backyard.

Charlie: But I'm sure you're aware that there are people who suggest other motives. Andrew Ross Sorkin of The New York Times wrote a column suggesting that the grant was a kind of publicity maneuver to shore up the stock price of Gray Matter Technologies because of your association with Walter White.

Elliott: Well, that's not exactly the way...

Charlie: To cleanse yourself, so to speak, of having a methamphetamine kingpin as co-founder of your company.

Elliott: Charlie, I'm glad you brought that up. I have to believe that the investing public understands we're talking about a person who was there early on, but who had virtually nothing to do with the creation of the company, and still less to do with growing it into what it is today.

Charlie: So what was Walter White's contribution?

Elliott: You know, to be honest... Honey?

Gretchen: The company name.

Elliott: The company name. We came up with it by combining our names. Schwartz means black, black plus white makes gray.

Charlie: Hence, Gray Matter Technologies.

Elliott: Exactly. As far as I can recall, his contribution begins and ends right there.

Charlie: There are continuing reports of blue methamphetamine, considered his signature product throughout the Southwest, and some evidence of reaching as far as Europe. So my question is: is Walter White still out there?

Gretchen: No, he's not.

Charlie: You sound very sure.

Gretchen: I am. I can't speak for this Heisenberg that people refer to, but whatever... whatever he became, the sweet, kind, brilliant man that we once knew, long ago, he's gone.

Felina [5.16][edit]

[NOTE: This episode is 55 minutes long]

Walter: [to Elliott, who is threatening him with a fruit knife] Elliott, if we're gonna go that way, you'll need a bigger knife.

Walter: Keep stacking. It'll all fit.

[Elliott and Gretchen pile Walter's money on a table. Gretchen drops several stacks.]

Walter: That's all right. Just– Just throw it on top. Gretchen, would you mind? We don't want to lose any under the furniture. [Gretchen picks up the dropped stacks.] All right. That is $9,720,000.

Gretchen: Where did it come from? And why is it here?

Walter: I earned it. And you're going to give it to my children.

Gretchen: What? Why?

Elliott: Walt, I don't think we–

Walter: On my son's 18th birthday, which is 10 months and 2 days from today, you will give him this money in the form of an irrevocable trust. You will tell him it is his to do with as he sees fit, but with the hope that he uses it for his college education and for the betterment of his family.

Elliott: Walt, I'm not sure that we follow. Why, um, I mean, why, in particular, would we–

Gretchen: If you wanna give your kids drug money, go do it yourself.

Walter: I can't. My wife and son hate me. They won't take my money. Even if they did, the federal government wouldn't let them. But two rich benefactors, who are known for their charitable endeavors, who would think nothing of, for instance, writing a $28 million check to help victims of methamphetamine abuse. I have to think that your money would be very welcome.

Gretchen: It wouldn't make any sense coming from us.

Walter: It certainly would. My children are blameless victims of their monstrous father, a man who you once knew quite well. Call it a beau geste. Call it liberal guilt. Call it whatever you want, but do it. And you are not to spend a single dime of your own money. If there are taxes or lawyers' fees owed, you will take it right from here. They use my money, never yours.

Elliott: Okay, Walt, sure. That– that sounds reasonable. So what happens next?

Walter: I guess we shake on it. And I leave.

[Walter shakes hand with Elliott and Gretchen. He walks up to them.]

Walter: I can trust you to do this.

Elliott: Yes. Absolutely you can.

[Walter turns to the window and signals someone to point red laser at Elliott and Gretchen. They shake and scream.]

Walter: Don't move, Don't… Don't dare move a muscle. You don't want them to think that you're trying to get away. Just breathe. Just this afternoon, I had an extra $200,000 that I would have loved dearly to leave on top of this table. Instead, I gave it to the two best hitmen west of the Mississippi. Now, whatever happens to me tomorrow, they'll still be out there keeping tabs. And if, for any reason, that my children do not get this money, a kind of… countdown will begin. Maybe a day or so later, maybe a week, a year, when you're going for a walk in Santa Fe or Manhattan or Prague, wherever. And you're… talking about your stock prices… without a worry in the world, and then suddenly, you'll hear the scrape of a footstep behind you, and before you can even turn around, pop!

[Elliott and Gretchen scream.]

Walter: Darkness. [putting his arms around Elliott and Gretchen] Cheer up, beautiful people. This is where you get to make it right.

[Walter signals someone to stop pointing the red laser at Elliott and Gretchen, then leaves.]

[Badger and Skinny Pete return to Walter's car after posing as fake hitmen]

Badger: You know, I don't exactly know how to feel about all this.

Skinny Pete: For real, yo; the whole thing felt kinda shady, you know, like, morality-wise.

Badger: Totally.

[Walter hands them a couple of bundles of money]

Walter: How do you feel now?

[Badger and Skinny Pete take the money]

Skinny Pete: Better.

Badger: Yeah, definitely improving.

Skyler: We don't want your money, Walt. I thought Flynn made that clear.

Walter: He did. And I don't have any to give you. I spent the last of it getting here. All I have to give you is this. [takes out a lottery ticket and hands it to Skyler] Call the DEA once I leave. Tell them I was here. That I forced my way in. Tell them... Tell them I wanted bacon and eggs on my birthday. And that I gave you that ticket. Those numbers are GPS coordinates.

Skyler: For what?

Walter: A burial site. That's where they will find Hank and Steve Gomez. [Skyler weeps] That's where I buried our money. The men who stole it from us. The men who still have it. They murdered Hank and Steve and put them in that hole. Now you trade that for a deal with the prosecutor. Get yourself out of this. Skyler. Skyler. All the things that I did, you need to understand–

Skyler: If I have to hear, one more time, that you did this for the family–

Walter: I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And... I was... really... I was alive.

[Lydia calls Todd, who is lying dead. Walt picks up the phone.]

Walter: Hello?

Lydia: Is it done? Is he gone?

Walter: Yeah, it's done. He's gone. They're all gone.

Lydia: Todd? Who is this?

Walter: It's Walt. How are you feeling? Kind of under the weather? Like you've got the flu? That would be the ricin I gave you. I slipped it into that stevia crap that you're always putting in your tea.

Lydia: Oh, my God.

Walter: Well... goodbye, Lydia.

[Jack, Todd, and their men lie dead around the tiny shack, Walter drops the gun and pushes it toward Jesse. Jesse picks it up and points it at Walter.]

Walter: Do it. You want this.

Jesse: Say the words. Say you want this! Nothing happens until I hear you say it!

Walter: I want this.

Jesse: [notices that Walt has already been shot; lowers the gun and drops it] Then do it yourself.

Day 1[edit]

[Repeated introduction.]

Jack Bauer: I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life.

12:00am - 1:00am [1.01][edit]

David Palmer: All right, "On this historic occasion..."

Patty Brooks: Well, it is a historic occasion, sir.

Kim: So, is she still giving you the cold shoulder?

Jack: If by "she" you're referring to your mother, I'd appreciate if you called her by her name. Mom. And no, she's just busy.

Kim: She's busy a lot.

Vincent O'Brien: Hello?

Jack: Vincent, Jack Bauer. You planning on seeing Kimberly tonight?

Vincent O'Brien: No way, man. We broke up, you know that.

Jack: I just wanted to make sure you knew that.

Vincent: Snuck out on you, huh?

Jack: Don't screw with me, Vincent.

Vincent O'Brien: Chill, man. I don't know where she is. You've got my word.

Jack: That's a real comfort, Vincent, knowing I've got your word.

Jamey Farrell: How long is this going to take?

Nina: Why, are we interrupting your social life?

Jamey Farrell: At least I have one.

Nina: Funny.

Jack:Tony. I need detailed background on everyone on Senator Palmer's staff now.

Tony: Why?

Jack: Because I think this is about him and I want us to be prepared.

Tony: If it leaks out that we're screening Senator Palmer, people might think it's because he's black.

Jack: Well, it is because he's black. It makes him the most likely target.

Richard Walsh: We have reason to believe that by the end of the day an attempt will be made on David Palmer's life.

Richard Walsh: How are you doing?

Jack: I can't complain.

Richard Walsh: Can't or won't?

Richard Walsh: If Palmer gets hit, the first African-American with a real shot at the White House, they'll tear this country apart.

Nina: You're lying.

Jack: Yes I am. But you're still going to have to trust me.

Jack: I was thinking we should try to remember what it was like when we were kids.

Teri Bauer: It's a different world now, Jack.

Jack: Yeah, I know.

Jack: George. I need you to do me a favor. I need you to call your boss so I can get clearance on the identification of the source.

George Mason: I thought we just agreed that it didn't matter.

Jack: Yeah, but I still have to call Walsh and tell him I did everything I could. I would like to cover my own ass.

George Mason: Jack, you're finally learning how to play the game.

Jack: You can look the other way once, and it's no big deal, except it makes it easier for you to compromise the next time, and pretty soon that's all you're doing; compromising, because that's the way you think things are done. You know those guys I busted? You think they were the bad guys? Because they weren't, they weren't bad guys, they were just like you and me. Except they compromised... Once.

Nina: Tony, I need you to do something for me.

Tony: For you or for Jack?

George Mason: You have no idea what you're getting yourself into.

Jack: Why don't you explain it to me. You've got five seconds.

2:00am - 3:00am [1.03][edit]

Ira Gaines: The job is on summer. Are you in?

Mandy: Yes.

Ira Gaines [to Jonathon, who just killed Bridgit]: You're done here.

Tony: You mind telling me what's going on around here tonight?

Jack: What's going on? You mean besides a 747 falling out of the sky and a threat on a presidential candidate's life?

Tony: Yeah, besides that.

4:00am - 5:00am [1.05][edit]

Dan: (Referring to Janet York) Well, err, maybe she wasn't quite dead.

Ira Gaines: Well, let me tell you Dan; You're either dead, or you're not dead. There's no such thing as 'sort of dead'. Here, let me show you. (Shoots Dan in the chest)

Ira Gaines: (To Rick) You've just been promoted, congratulations.

Ira Gaines (referring to Dan's dead body): Bury your friend.

Rick: Where?

Ira Gaines (Annoyed): In the ground

7:00am - 8:00am [1.08][edit]

Tony: How could you do this? Betray your country, be responsible for the deaths of people you work with?

Jamey Farrell: I told you, I didn't know any of that was going to happen.

Tony: Oh, that's right. You're just tappin' on your keyboard, right?

8:00am - 9:00am [1.09][edit]

Jack: Lauren, I have killed two people since midnight. I have not slept for over 24 hours. So maybe, maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are right now. Sit!

10:00am - 11:00am [1.11][edit]

Jack: You probably don't think that I can force this towel down your throat. But trust me, I can. All the way. Except I'd hold onto this one little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest it, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. For most people it would take about a week to die. It's very painful.

11:00 - 12:00am [1.12][edit]

12:00pm - 1:00pm [1.13][edit]

Rick: (Suffering from a bullet wound and running through the woods) I can't!

Jack: Shut up! You can and you will!

Rick: But I'm slowing you down.

Jack: Yes you are, so you'd better start speeding up!

Jack: Part of getting a second chance is taking responsibility for the mess you made in the first place.

1:00pm - 2:00pm [1.14][edit]

Milo Pressman: What do you think they're going to do to Jack?

Tony: Not going to name a street after him.

Tony: Let me save you some time, Mr. Chappelle. I'm not the biggest fan of Jack Bauer. I don't agree with the way he delegates authority, and I don't like the way he runs operations. But since midnight last night, you won't get me to disapprove of a single action he's taken.

2:00pm - 3:00 [1.15][edit]

3:00pm - 4:00pm [3.16][edit]

4:00pm - 5:00pm [3.17][edit]

5:00pm - 6:00pm [1.18][edit]

George Mason: Hey! Almeida. I'm on your side. Nina oughta be here right now, what does Jack need her for? You're busting your ass without any resources because she felt like taking a ride with him. If that works for you, great…

Tony: You know what works for me? You keeping out of my personal business, that works for me!

7:00pm - 8:00pm [1.20][edit]

Teri Bauer: [hysterical, talking about Kim] What do you mean you don't know where she is?

Tony: After the safehouse, she didn't trust us and I don't blame her. Get in!

Teri Bauer: We have to find her, Tony! We have to find her!

Tony: Believe me, we're looking. Teri, GET IN THE CAR!

Day 2[edit]

8:00am - 9:00am [2.01][edit]

Jack: You are Marshall Goren?

Marshall: Yeah.

Jack: Eight counts, kidnapping a minor. Two counts, child pornography. First-degree murder.

Marshall: Yeah, uh-huh. Hey, look: I already made my deal, and I don't need to hear this noise. All I've gotta do is testify against Wald, and I walk. [smirks]

[Jack regards Marshall for a moment, then draws his weapon and shoots him in the heart]

George: Oh, my God, Jack! What are you thinking?!

Jack: I need a helicopter and a backup team ready to leave here in fifteen minutes.

George: Are you out of your mind?

Jack: You want to find this bomb? This is what it's gonna take.

George: Killing a witness?

Jack: That's the problem with people like you, George. You want results, but you never want to get your hands dirty. I'd start rolling up your sleeves... I'm gonna need a hacksaw.

Paula Schaeffer: I didn't know how you liked intel presented impromptu. Whether you like it sorted chronologically with an alphabetical key or if you just like separate folders with access tabs...

Tony: Uhh…I don't really care.

11.00 am - 12.00 pm [2.04][edit]

Mason: Send somebody else. I need you here.

Tony: To do what, watch Paula die?

1:00pm - 2:00pm [2.06][edit]

Jack: Did you pick this area for a reason? Or would anywhere outside the blast zone work?

Nina: My contact is in Visalia. I'm not gonna tell you who it is 'til we get there.

Jack: Fine. Then we can just sit here and wait for the blast to hit.

Nina: Stop wasting time. I'm sitting here looking at the President's signature.

Jack: I'm here. He's not. And I'm not gonna make a move until I believe you're credible.

Nina: I'll only get the pardon if I help stop the bomb. Why wouldn't I do everything I can?

Jack: Because you're worse than a traitor, Nina. You don't even have a cause. You don't believe in anything. You would sell anyone and everything out to the highest bidder. So, (Jack overturns the table between them) stop wasting my time! Give me a name!

Nina: Don't even bother, Jack. You lay a hand on me, you'll be taken off the case. You're just gonna have to follow my lead.

[Jack glares. Nina finally smiles. This sets Jack off, who then charges at Nina-pushing her against the wall, grabbing her by throat as she chokes. The CTU surveillance races towards the interrogation room]

Jack: You are gonna tell me everything I want to know, or I swear to God-I will hurt you before I kill you. And no one will stop me, do you understand that?

2:00pm - 3:00pm [2.07][edit]

Nina: He is gonna put a bullet in my head before I can say 'hello' and then he's going to turn the gun on himself.

Jack: We'll make sure he doesn't turn the gun on himself.

Michelle: I just got off the phone with Ed Mueller.

George Mason: How is it going with Jack and Nina.

Michelle: He doesnt't know. Apparently, Jack drugged him and got on the plane without him.

George Mason: Please tell me you're kidding.

Michelle: (Shakes her head) What do you want me to do?

George Mason: He is on a plane to Vasailla. There is nothing anyone can do...

3:00pm - 4:00pm [2.08][edit]

[Recalling Teri talking with an old woman the Sunday before her death]

Jack: The Sunday before you killed my wife... Teri and I went to the boardwalk in Venice just watching all the roller-bladers and musicians, laughing at the crazy people, spending time together. And Teri sees this sno-cone stand. She giggles like a kid. She takes off running, she wants to get in line, she wants one. I remember I was watching her, I was just... I couldn't help myself. When I look up at her she's talking to this old lady in line behind her and the two of them are laughing, and I'm thinking to myself, how the hell does she do that. How does she strike up a conversation with an absolute stranger? And they just start laughing. Like they'd been friends forever. That's a GIFT. I remember thinking, God, I wish I could do that. But I can't. That was Teri. My wife. That's what you took from this world, Nina. That's what you took from me, and my daughter. I just wanted you to know that.

[Nina stares impassively]

Jack: I just wanted you to know that.

Tony: Hey, your neck's bleeding here.

Michelle: [after feeling it] It's somebody else's blood.

Tony: Look, Michelle. Why don't you take a few minutes, get cleaned up and change. You'll feel better. [whispers] We're gonna survive this day, all right?

4:00pm - 5:00pm [2.09][edit]

[Nina has taken Jack hostage and is going to kill him.]

Nina: This isn't how you thought it would end, is it, Jack?

Jack: This isn't over yet.

5:00pm - 6:00pm [2.10][edit]

[on her betraying CTU]

Nina: It didn't have to be like this, Jack. I never meant for this to be personal.

Jack: It felt pretty personal when you killed my wife.

Nina: I had to. Teri overheard something that compromised my escape route.

Jack: What about bombing CTU? All those people you used to work with?

Nina: I didn't bomb CTU, I just sold the plans.

Jack: You believe what you have to, Nina, but you killed your friends.

Nina: SHUT UP, JACK! SHUT UP!

[Jack is backing away from Nina, who is threatening to kill him]

Jack: You kill me before they verify the information you gave 'em, you'll be in violation of your agreement and they'll slap your ass back in jail.

Nina: And you'll be dead.

Jack: I'm already dead.

David Palmer: [On Nina Myers] Let her share the fate of everyone she's endangered.

[Marie is holding a gun on Reza]

Reza Naiyeer: The…the past two years have been…just an act, is that it? I mean- I mean nothing to you?

[Marie tears up]

Reza Naiyeer: [last words, shouting] Huh?! I don't understand! Say something, Marie!

Marie Warner: Reza…you really are very sweet.

[Marie shoots and kills Reza]

Tony: [to Michelle] So, uh, what are we saying here? If we save L.A. from a nuclear bomb, then you and I can get together for dinner and a movie? is that it?

9:00pm - 10:00pm [2.14][edit]

David Palmer: If there is something you're not telling me, something that could help us find this bomb, as President of the United States, I'm ordering you—No, no. As someone you claim you love, I'm asking you—Help me, Sherry.

Marie Warner: I am going to help you. I'm going to help you stop being a part of the problem.

Kate Warner: So it's OK with you if Dad and I die today?

Marie Warner: I killed Reza…and I loved him. Why would I care about you and Dad?

Kate Warner: Because we love you.

Tony [addressing the CTU staff]: In case you haven't heard, George Mason was exposed to a lethal dose of plutonium this morning. I'm afraid he hasn't got much time. He just left the office and he won't be coming back, which means that I'll be in charge until further notice. Now, on a normal day, we'd be mourning George, just like we would've mourned Ivers, Clark…and Paula, and the rest of our co-workers who were killed here today. Unfortunately we're gonna have to hold our thoughts of them until we can get through this present crisis. So…let's get back to work.

10:00pm - 11:00pm [2.15][edit]

Jack Bauer [talking to his daughter Kim]: I want you to live your life. I want you to be happy, that's all I ever wanted for you. I want you try and grow up and be the kind of person that would've made your mom proud.

George Mason Service is bad enough on this plane, you don't have to shoot me.

Jack What are you doing on this plane?

George Mason Felt like taking a ride.

George Mason [Regarding Jack's plan to sacrifice himself to safely detonate the nuclear device]: Come on, Jack, you've had a death wish ever since Teri died. The way things have been going for you the past year and a half, this probably doesn't look like such a bad idea. You get to go out in a blaze of glory, one of the greatest heroes of all time, leave your troubles behind. You still have a life, Jack. You wanna be a real hero, here's what you do: you get back down there and you put the pieces together. You find a way to forgive yourself for what happened to your wife. You make things right with your daughter and you go on serving your country. That'd take some real guts.

11:00pm - 0:00am [2.16][edit]

Yusuf Auda I'm supposed to update my home office right now, but I have nothing to report, except that I've been excluded from this investigation since I arrived

Tony Look, I'll tell you what I can. You can call your home office and tell them whatever you want [...]

12:00am - 1:00am [2.17][edit]

Jack: They're going to be five minutes.

Jonathan: And here we are without a deck of cards. [pause] You know, I was down at Fort Benning when Colonel Samuels tried to recruit you? Yeah. He was real disappointed when you turned him down. He said you were a born killer.

[Jack says nothing]

Jonathan: Is that true?

[Jack says nothing, but blinks and turns downward]:

2:00am - 3:00am [2.19][edit]

Peter Kingsley: Look, I need the chip, so let's not be pigs here. You tell Ronnie where the chip is, I authorize a large sum—large enough to compensate any kind of guilt you might feel about this.

Jack: It's not for sale.

Kingsley: If someone wants to buy it, it's for sale.

Jack: How can you justify starting a war to profit from the outcome?

Kingsley: We're just controlling the chaos, that's all.

Jack: No, you're causing it.

Kingsley: Let's not waste any time trying to bridge each other's differences. There's only one thing we need to agree on—a price.

Jack: I already gave you my answer.

Kingsley: When Ronnie's finished working on you, you'll give me another.

4:00am - 5:00am [2.21][edit]

Jack: There are bad things in this world that are out of control. Sometimes we like to blame ourselves so we can try and make sense of them.

7:00am - 8:00am [2.24][edit]

Ryan Chappelle: So…what's up, my friend?

Tony: Well, um…it's like this. Either fire me…or get out of my chair.

Day 3[edit]

Tagline: The first wave of attack will be terror. The last line of defense will be him.

1:00pm - 2:00pm [3.01][edit]

Michelle Dessler: I'll go anywhere with you…as long as I don't have to cook.

Tony: Sweetheart, if you promise not to cook, I will take you with me anywhere.

2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m [3.02][edit]

Jack: What the hell do you know? My wife died because of this job. I almost lost Kim too. I'm not going to let that happen again. I will do everything I have to, to protect her. Do you understand me? Everything! Damn it Chase, you can not have a normal life and do this job at the same time.

Chase: Are you saying I shouldn't have a relationship with anyone?

Jack: That's exactly what I'm saying... and especially with my daughter.

Jack: Shut up, stupid! You just fired at a federal agent. You better start talking to me, or I will let you bleed to death right here on this landing.

3:00 p.m. – 4:00 p.m [3.03][edit]

Anne: David, no reason to be suspicious. God knows, you've been betrayed by the people you trust the most. I'm not Sherry.

Luis: Unless Hector has a key to this place, you aren't going anywhere.

Ramon: But he does have a key. And when he turns it, the last 2 years of your life, all the hours you spent away from your family, all the work you've done to put me here will go away (he snaps) just like that. I wanted you to hear it from me. I wanted it to be the last thing you ever heard.

(The guard comes and kills Luis)

4:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. [3.04][edit]

5:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. [3.05][edit]

6:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m [3.06][edit]

7:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m. [3.07][edit]

Gael: Don't get in my way, Michelle!

Michelle: External security is already in position, you're not going anywhere. You take one step outside, you know exactly what will happen.

Ramon: Hello Jack. The party's going well, I wanted you to know. There's something else I wanted you to know. For some reason Hector wants you alive. Maybe he wants to kill you himself. Or maybe he wants to watch me do it. I'm just not sure I can wait that long.

8:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. [3.08][edit]

Chappelle: I'm not so sure this is gonna work out well for you, Almeida.

Tony: Maybe not, but right now I gotta help Jack get this virus and I don't need you looking over my shoulder, alright?

Chappelle: You work for me. You don't give orders; you take them.

Tony: Yeah, except the president put me in charge of this particular operation. Now, if you object, give him a call. I may be wrong, but I didn't get the impression that he's in the mood for any bureaucratic squabbling today.

Jack: A few years ago my wife was killed because of my job; my daughter's never been the same since. This last year, well you know what I went through to bring you in, what did I get for it? A pat on the back, in the

end-a demotion, and a heroin habit. I'm tired of putting my ass on the line for nothing. I'm done putting my ass on the line for nothing.

9:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m [3.09][edit]

10:00pm – 11:00pm [3.10][edit]

Nina: You really did break Salazar out of prison.

Jack: I'm not the man you knew before.

Nina: Well, I don't know about that.

[Nina begins to caress Jack.]

Nina: But for 20 million dollars, I'm gonna keep an open mind. So, Jack…if we're gonna go forward with this, I have to know one thing. Are you gonna be able to forgive me for killing Teri?

Jack: If I wanted revenge, Nina, I would have killed you already. You know that. It's like I said, I just want to finish this deal and disappear for good.

Nina: Convince me.

11:00pm – 12:00am [3.11][edit]

Nina: I'm sorry, Jack. I wanted to believe that you'd changed, but I can feel it. You're lying.

2:00am – 3:00am [3.14][edit]

Tony: [While interrogating Nina, he tells her about Alvers' medical history] Being treated for a knee injury, treated for HIV.

[In the other room, they could tell Nina's pulse raise slightly upon hearing Alvers' HIV treatment]

Michelle: [Talking to Tony over comm] It is likely Nina had sex with Alvers.

Tony: Now see Nina, my collegues in the other room has just informed me that there is something in Alvers' file that, concerns you. I'm guessing it's not the knee.

3:00am – 4:00am [3.15][edit]

Amador: You betrayed me, Jack. You were with CTU all along.

Jack: That's right, Amador. You betrayed me, too. I'm just better at it than you.

4:00am – 5:00am [3.16][edit]

Stephen: You are no longer in control of your country. And if you do not use the full power to execute my wishes, the virus will be released and it will be impossible to stop.

David: (to Sherry) I despise you for what you've done. And I despise my role in helping you get away with it. Get out of my sight.

5:00am – 6:00am [3.17][edit]

Stephen: Mr. President?

David: Yes.

Stephen: It's time for your first assignment. A very simple one, but one necessary to our future relationship.

David: We don't have a relationship.

Stephan: No, you don't negotiate with terrorists. Well, I don't negotiate with heads of state, so just do what you're told

6:00am – 7:00am [3.18][edit]

Jack: Sorry we let you down, Ryan. (pauses) God forgive me.

Jack: The only thing you need to know is that I need these files decrypted now.

Chloe: Well, I'm doing my very best. Your tone of voice is not exactly a morale booster.

Jack: (exasperated) Chloe, please just do it!

7:00am – 8:00am [3.19][edit]

Jack You and I have been doing this long enough to know that there is no such thing

as a meaningless lie. How are you involved in this?

Tony: You're not making any

sense, Jack. That intel was good. Without it you'd have never been in the white house to save the President.

Jack: What is your involvement?

Tony: You're not thinking straight.

Jack: How were you shot? Does Galvez even have a second man or was it just you?

Tony: Just stop and listen to what you're saying. It's insane. It's paranoia. Now, why don't you put the gun down?

Jack: Don't you move!

Tony: The toxin is starting to affect your judgement. That's what's happening. You can see that, right? Is this what you're looking for? I never wanted to hurt you, Jack. I told you to stay out of it. But you wouldn't listen, would you?

8:00am – 9:00am [3.20][edit]

Tony: Chloe, I'm getting real tired of your personality.

9:00am – 10:00am [3.21][edit]

10:00am – 11:00am [3.22][edit]

Tony: My God Jack, didn't you learn anything from what happened to Teri?

Jack:(pushing him away) SHUT UP, TONY! Shut up!

Tony: Just because you sacrificed your wife for this job doesn't mean I'm gonna sacrifice mine!

11:00am – 12:00pm [3.23][edit]

Stephen: Let her go! Do as I say now, Jack!

Jack: When your daughter is infected, I'm gonna make you watch her die.

12:00pm – 1:00pm [3.24][edit]

Tony: [to Michelle] Baby, you're alive. And nobody else got hurt because of what I did. Now that's more than I hoped for. I can live with that. Even in prison.

Day 4[edit]

7:00am - 8:00am [4.01][edit]

James Heller: Spare me your sixth-grade Michael Moore logic!

Jack: What is happening at eight o'clock?! I am not messing with you.

[He flips the table.]

Jack: You are going to tell me what is happening at eight o'clock!

[He shoots Sherek's leg.]

Jack: What is your primary objective?! What is your primary objective?!

Sherek: Secretary of Defense!

Jack: Secretary Heller? Secretary Heller's the target! Call Secret Service now!

2:00pm - 3:00pm [4.08][edit]

Audrey: Look. We were fighting for our lives a few minutes ago, and if it hadn't been for Tony, we would've been dead. Now I've been through a lot today, and I'm sure, when this is all over, your boss will understand.

Jen Slater: And if he doesn't?

Audrey: [deadpan] I can have him killed.

[They both grin.]

Jen Slater: Knock yourself out.

Henry Powell: Who are you guys? Police? FBI?

Tony: Actually, I'm currently unemployed.

7:00pm - 8:00pm [4.13][edit]

Tony: Some people are more comfortable in hell.

Day 5[edit]

Tagline: To the world, he's dead. But he is about to become the most wanted man alive.

7:00am - 8:00am [5.01][edit]

[First Lady Martha Logan stands before a bathroom sink, dismayed.]

Martha Logan: I look like a wedding cake.

8:00am - 9:00am [5.02][edit]

Jack: Let's get one thing straight, kid. The only reason you're still conscious is because I don't want to carry you. Now get in the van.

[In a van, Derek watches nervously as Jack moves to incapacitate an FBI agent.]

Chloe: Relax. He's really good at this.

1:00pm - 2:00pm [5.07][edit]

[President Logan lays into Cummings about his botched entrapment of Russian separtist terrorists.]

Walt Cummings: Oh, you make it sound like our goal was to kill Americans!

Charles Logan: What the hell was your goal, Walt?! Explain that to me!

Walt Cummings: I'm a patriot, s— Mr. President. We were acting in the best interest of this country.

Charles Logan: How is any of this in our best interest?

Walt Cummings: Shoring up a-a strategic partner in the war on terror? Ensuring a stable flow of oil? How is any of that not in our national interest?

4:00pm - 5:00pm [5.10][edit]

[Martha has hung up on Logan after refusing to get out of the Suvarovs' limousine. Logan argues with Mike.]

Charles Logan: What am I missing, Mike?! T-t-t-there's gotta be some way out, something that I'm not seeing.

Mike Novick: You are not missing anything. Any action we take to save Martha would save the Suvarovs. And if that happens, the terrorists will release the gas. Unfortunately, it's that simple.

Charles Logan: And there's nothing we can do, right? Unless I warn them… Martha's going to die with the Suvarovs.

Charles Logan: Damn you Martie, putting me in such position.

[In CTU, Carrie is on the phone.]

Carrie Bendis: Understood. Those protocols should be coming over shortly.

Caller: Okay.

[Carrie hangs up. Lynn comes over.]

Lynn McGill: Who were you on the phone with?

Carrie Bendis: Homeland Security.

Lynn McGill: I gave you specific orders to have everyone's system mirrored to mine.

Carrie Bendis: I've been doing that.

Lynn McGill: But you're not finished, yet somehow you have time to chat with Homeland Security.

Carrie Bendis: They needed us to give them updated codesets. It'll just take another minute.

Lynn McGill: No, it won't. Stiles, finish her task. Carrie, you're done.

Carrie Bendis: What do you mean, "done"?

Lynn McGill: Fired! You don't work here anymore.

Edgar Stiles: Mr. McGill, it's not her fault. She's just—

Lynn McGill: Edgar, one more word out of you, you walk out with her. What's it gonna be?

[Still on the warpath, Lynn finds Chloe assisting Audrey in the server room.]

Lynn McGill: Chloe! Wat are you doing in here?

Audrey: I asked her to help me.

Lynn McGill: She doesn't work for you, Ms. Raines. She works for me.

Audrey: But I don't, and DoD has assignment priority over CTU.

Lynn McGill: We're in the middle of a real-time investigation, and we're understaffed. Chloe is a department head. You can't just take her away from me.

Audrey: I'm not taking her away from you. We needed a system patch on the server, and Chloe's the only one who can fix it!

Lynn McGill: Well, then you come to me, and you ask me. Everything in this office runs through me!

Audrey: Lynn, we are all trying to do the same thing! Can you please just get pass this?

Lynn McGill: Yeah, I'm past it. I want Chloe back.

Chloe: Okay. I'm finished here. Sorry, Mr. McGill — it won't happen again.

7:00pm - 8:00pm [5.13][edit]

[On the phone as he runs to Medical, Jack tells Tony not to kill Christopher Henderson.]

Jack: You don't want to do this! It's not gonna bring back Michelle!

Tony: No. But I'll feel better.

Jack: Trust me, you won't!

Tony: You're probably right. I'll let you know.

Tony: She's gone, Jack.

8:00pm - 9:00pm [5.14][edit]

Théo: I'm here by permission of your government, you can't touch me.

Jack: Right, we'll see about that!

Jack: Théo, it's Jack. I'm sorry.

Théo: We had a deal.

Jack: When this is all over I promise you I will help you rebuild your investigation. I give you my word.

Théo: I had your word, now I know what it's worth.

9:00pm - 10:00pm [5.15][edit]

[Jack pulls a gun on Collette Stenger after finding she framed Audrey at Henderson's advice.]

Jack: He's using you. He wanted you to get inside my head. And it worked. And now I'm… upset.

[After the shootout at the gas plant]

Jack: Curtis, the Sentox is already in the system. Who's in charge here?

[Sam the foreman raises his hand]

Jack: Listen to me. You have Sentox nerve gas running through your pipelines. Can you shut down the pumps?

Sam: By the time we power down, gas will be in the main tanks and it's out into the city.

Jack: I need the closest pipeline that feeds those tanks.

Sam: Just out the door, to your left. It'll have a red arrow on it.

Jack [to Curtis]: Get me C4 and a timer, get these people out of here.

Buchanan: Jack, what are you doing?

Jack: In order to deliver the Sentox it had to mix with natural gas. If we can ignite that gas before it leaves the plant, the Sentox will be incinerated. Bill, this is the last chance we've got to stop this threat.

[Jack has just been caught in an explosion and sees Bierko escaping]

Jack: Curtis, I've got a visual on Bierko!

Curtis: Jack, you don't have time before the main tanks explode.

Jack: Right now, he's our only connection to Henderson!

12:00am - 1:00 am [5.18][edit]

[Arrested for helping Jack, Chloe insists that Jack did not kill David Palmer.]

Miles Papazian: He's a federal fugitive wanted for the murder of a former President. Which means you're going to jail, O'Brian. For a long time.

2:00am - 3:00am [5.20][edit]

Miles Papazian: What's Bauer doing on Flight 520?

Buchanan: You have no idea what you're dealing with, you little ass-kisser.

4:00am - 5:00am [5.22][edit]

[Bloodied and tied to a chair, Secret Service agent Aaron Pierce listens to Logan's attempt to bribe him to silence.]

Charles Logan: Are my terms acceptable?

Aaron Pierce: There is nothing you have said or done that is acceptable to me in the least. You're a traitor to this country and a disgrace to your office. And it's my duty to see that you're brought to justice for what you've done. Is there anything else… Charles?

6:00am - 7:00am [5.24][edit]

[On Marine One, with President Logan in the back, Bauer pulls a gun on the other pilot.]

Jack: Captain. I can fly this thing if I have to, which leaves you with one of two choices. You either do what I say and you live, or you don't and you die for nothing. You understand me?

[A stony-faced, silent Jack holds Logan isolated on Marine One.]

Charles Logan: What are you trying to do, Jack? Whatever it is, you know you won't get away with it! Are you going to kill me? I suppose you want some sort of revenge. I understand that. Bad things happened. I didn't want them to happen. People who work for me, they-they-they went too far, they did things I thought I wanted them to do, but they were wrong! You have to understand, I have always acted in the country's best interest. But you're just trying to get even. Do you realize what effect this will have on the American people?! This day has been trying enough! And now the President is being attacked. If you want to do what's right, you will turn this thing around, and go back. Damn it, Bauer, say something!

[In the abandoned building, Jack sits down before a defiant Logan.]

Jack: A year and a half ago, I was warned that my life was in danger, by someone within the government. I was told the only way I could stay alive was to create the illusion that I was dead. I was forced to deceive people that I loved. My only daughter will never forgive me. As I see the depth of your corruption unfold, I have no doubt that you are that source of danger. David Palmer was a great man, and he was a great President! But he was also my friend. He tried to warn me about you and now he is dead. Other people tried to help me, and they are dead, too. So Mr. Logan, I hope you understand… I have absolutely nothing to lose. You are going to be held accountable for your part of everything that happened today. You are not going to be able to hide behind the Presidency — right here, right now, you are going to face justice! And make no mistake about this, this is personal. And if you think for a second that I am scared to put a bullet in your brain, you don't know me. I am going to ask you one last time. Who are your co-conspirators? You have until the count of three, or I will kill you.

[Charles follows Martha into the airfield hangar. In private, he slaps her and frisks her for a wire.]

Charles Logan: You said that I was a good liar? But I am nothing compared to you.

[Jack's kidnappers drag him through a dark enclosed space with hanging chains. Chinese operative Cheng Zhi appears.]

Cheng Zhi: You surely must be aware, Mr. Bauer, that China has a long memory. Only 18 months ago, you invaded our territory and killed our consul. Did you really think that we would forget? Hmm?

Jack: [gasping] I know how this works. I need to make one phone call. Please. Just one phone call.

[After a moment of silence, Jack spits at Cheng. The men drop him to the ground.]

Jack: Kill me. Just… kill me.

Cheng Zhi: Kill you? You're far too valuable to kill, Mr. Bauer.

Day 6[edit]

6:00am - 7:00am [6.01][edit]

Karen Hayes: If we don't stop these attacks, this country will never recover.

Jack: Audrey?

Bill Buchanan: Audrey doesn't know you're back.

Jack: My daughter?

Bill Buchanan: Kim doesn't know, either.

Jack: You keep it that way.

Buchanan: [to Jack] We're asking you to sacrifice yourself.

[President Wayne Palmer talks to Jack before he's handed over to Abu Fayed.]

Jack: I understand what's expected of me, Mr. President.

[Per Fayed's instructions, Buchanan and Curtis prepare to leave Jack chained to a water system grate.]

Buchanan: I don't know what to say, Jack.

Jack: Do you understand the difference between dying for something and dying for nothing? The only reason I fought so hard to stay alive in China was because I didn't want to die for nothing. Today, I can die for something. My way, my choice. To be honest with you, it'll be a relief.

[Buchanan is livid over Chloe's rogue attempt to track Jack, jeopardizing the deal.]

Buchanan: Don't think you're the only one mourning Jack; you're not.

Karen Hayes: There are people in this administration who are willing to tear up the Constitution in the name of National Security.

7:00am - 8:00am [6.02][edit]

[As Omar begs through his pain, Jack pulls back from his brutal interrogation.]

Assad: Why'd you stop?

Jack: I can see it in his eyes. He's not going to tell us anything.

[Jack walks off, but Assad grabs a knife and resumes the torture.]

Assad: Where is Fayed?

Omar: I know where some of his men are going to be!

[Beat. Assad is alarmed at Jack's reluctance to head out after Fayed.]

Assad: My men are dead. I can find Fayed, but I cannot stop him by myself.

Jack: I don't know how to do this anymore.

Assad: You'll remember.

[Scott enters the Amar home to find a dead man and a wounded Ahmed, who pulls a gun on him.]

Scott: Ahmed. We're friends.

Ahmed Amar: What friends? You can't even pronounce my name. It's not Āh-mėd, it's Äck-mėd.

9:00am - 10:00am [6.04][edit]

Chloe: You were right about Curtis and Assad. Curtis was in the army, just after desert storm. His squad was ambushed by Assad's people. They killed 5 of Curtis's men and took 2 more hostage. Curtis was badly wounded, he couldn't go after them. The next day a tape was sent to the local television station. Assad's lieutenant forced the men from Curtis's patrol to beg for their lives, and then he personally beheaded them both.

Jack: Oh my God.

Jack: Curtis, put down your weapon!

Curtis: I can't do that, Jack.

Jack: Curtis, by order of the President of the United States, PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON!

Curtis: I can't let this animal live!

[Jack is violently ill after killing Curtis to save pardoned terrorist Assad.]

Jack: Tell the President I'm sorry, I can't do this any more.

Buchanan: The hell you can't!

[Ahmed directs Scott after receiving orders on the phone to kill him.]

Ahmed: Don't make this any harder than it already is. Kneel.

[Buchanan loudly reviews CTU's recent failures.]

Buchanan: We have to do better than we're doing, and we have to do it faster!

[Jack has been forced to shoot Curtis]

Bill Buchanan: Curtis didn't leave you any choice.

Jack Bauer: That's what I keep trying to tell myself.

10:00am - 11:00am [6.5][edit]

Liddy: It's Liddy. You won't believe who just called here.

Graem Bauer: Who?

Liddy: Your brother Jack.

Graem Bauer: What are you talking about? Jack's rotting away in some Chinese prison.

Liddy: No, actually he's here in L.A.

Graem Bauer: How the hell did that happen?

Liddy: I don't know.

Graem Bauer: What's he want?

Liddy: He's looking for the old man.

Graem Bauer: Yeah? Why?

Liddy: He didn't say. But if I were you, I'd expect a call from Jack. Your name came up.

Graem Bauer: Damn it. We should have killed Jack when we had the chance instead of handing him over to the Chinese.

Liddy: We tried.

Graem Bauer: This isn't good. My brother has a way of digging things up that need to stay buried.

10:00pm - 11:00pm [6.17][edit]

Wayne Palmer: If Jack Bauer says it's a dead end, then it's a dead end.

Jack Bauer: Damn it!

[Just before hanging Fayed, in reference to Fayed's brother, a terrorist Jack killed]

Jack: Say hello to your brother.

[Mike Doyle sees the bodies of several guards dead on the floor, and Fayed strangled, hung from a chain]

Doyle: Damn, Jack.

1:00am - 2:00am [6.20][edit]

James Heller: You're cursed, Jack. Everything you touch, one way or another, ends up dead.

Day 7[edit]

8:00am - 9:00am [7.1][edit]

Jack Bauer: The difference between success and failure is your ability to adapt to your enemy. The people that I deal with, they don't care about your rules. All they care about is a result.

Jack Bauer: I am more than willing to be judged by the people you claim to represent. I will let them decide what price I should pay. But please do not sit there with that smug look on your face and expect me to regret the decisions I have made. Because, sir, the truth is... I don't.

Sean Hillinger: You do know you could hire a $14-an-hour data-applications geek to do this work?

Renee Walker: I wouldn't advertise that.

9:00pm - 10:00pm [7.14][edit]

Senator Mayer: This morning at the hearing you said you had no regrets, but what I saw was a man full of regret.

Jack: Of course I have regret, Senator. I regret losing my family. My wife was murdered because I was responsible for protecting David Palmer during the assassination attempt. My daughter can't even look at me. Every day I regret looking into the eyes of men, women and children knowing that any moment their lives may be deemed expendable in an effort to protect the greater good. I regret every decision and mistake I might have made that resulted in the loss of an innocent life. But you know what I regret the most? That this world even needs people like me.

Senator Mayer: You think I'm naïve to think that we need to hold ourselves to a higher standard of conduct?

Jack: It doesn't even matter what I think, Senator. You just need to understand that where I work things get a lot messier than where you work on the Hill.

Senator Mayer: What you've lost, Mr. Bauer, is tragic. What you've been through compelled to do in the name of saving innocent life is tragic. But sometimes we need to incur the most horrible losses in order to uphold the ideals that this country was founded on. How can we presume to lead the world unless we set an example?

Jack: You make it sound so simple.

Senator Mayer: Well, maybe it's simpler than you think. Maybe all the things that you've seen and all the things that you've done have clouded your vision.

10:00pm - 11:00pm [7.15][edit]

Tony: What the hell are you doing? Don't do it, Jack. Don't turn a surveillance job into a firefight; it'll be two against ten!

Jack: Two against nine.

Day 8[edit]

4:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m [8.01][edit]

Teri: Jack?

Jack: Oh. Sweetheart, we already talked about this, remember? You're supposed to call me Grandpa.

Teri: You don't look like a grandpa.

Jack: Couldn't agree with you more.

Arlo: [during an emergency briefing with Brian Hastings, Dana Walsh, and Cole Ortiz] Who's Jack Bauer?

2:00pm - 3:00pm [8.23][edit]

Jack: (while holding Pres. Logan at gunpoint) Call President Suvarov and tell him you want to meet him where you are immediately after the press conference.

President Logan: And what am I supposed to tell him?

Jack: (smiling) Try the truth for once. Tell him that you have credible intelligence about a threat to his life.

3:00pm - 4:00pm [8.24][edit]

[Last line of the series]

Chloe: Shut it down.

Pilot[edit]

[1.01]

[after finding Clark]

Jonathan Kent: Kids just don't fall out of the sky, Martha.

Martha Kent: Then where did he come from?

Jonathan Kent: I don't know. But he must have parents.

[they both find the space ship]

Martha Kent: Well, if he does, they're definitely not from Kansas.

Jonathan Kent: Sweetheart, we can't keep him. What are we gonna tell people? We found him out in a field?

Martha Kent: We didn't find him... he found us.

Lana Lang: Nietzsche? I didn't know you have a dark side, Clark.

Clark Kent: Doesn't everyone?

Lana Lang: So what are you: Man or Superman?

Clark Kent: I haven't figured it out yet.

Jonathan Kent: Your real parents weren't exactly from around... here.

Clark Kent: Where are they from?

[Jonathan looks up at the sky]

Clark Kent: What are you trying to tell me, Dad? That I'm from another planet? [sarcastically] I suppose you stashed my spaceship in the attic?

Jonathan Kent: Actually, it's in the storm cellar.

Chloe Sullivan: Pete, do you want to take a commercial break from the soap opera in your head? I've told you a hundred times; I'm not interested in Clark.

Pete Ross: Your vehement denial has been duly noted!

Clark Kent: I didn't dive in after Lex's car! It hit me at 60 miles an hour! Does that sound normal to you? I'd give anything to be normal.

Metamorphosis[edit]

[1.02]

[after saving a boy from an explosion]

Clark Kent: You need to talk to Mom. I think I really freaked her out this time.

Jonathan Kent: You also made her really proud, Clark.

Clark Kent: Dad, something else happened to me this morning. When I woke up, I was... kind of floating.

Jonathan Kent: Floating?

Clark Kent: As soon as I woke up, I crashed. I mean, Dad, what's happening to me?

Jonathan Kent: I honestly don't know. As soon as you start breaking the law of gravity, we're definitely in uncharted territory.

Lex Luthor: [to Clark] Save any more lives on your way over? Keep it up and you could make a career out of it.

Chloe Sullivan: I hate it when you do that.

Clark Kent: Do what?

Chloe Sullivan: Just shut me out. It's like one minute, you're here; the next, you're gone. Clark, you're not outgrowing me as a friend, are you?

Clark Kent: Chloe, I could never outgrow you. Other than vertically.

Chloe Sullivan: It's amazing how far that Kent charm will get you.

Lana Lang: Life is about change, sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's beautiful, but most of the time it's both.

[talking about Lana's boyfriend]

Lex Luthor: The kid that Kent saved today?

Lana Lang: I just came back from seeing him. He's lucky Clark was there.

Lex Luthor: I know the feeling... kinda makes you wonder if you're with the right guy. One chucks footballs; the other helps save lives.

Lana Lang: For someone who just moved into town, you've got a lot of opinions.

Hothead[edit]

[1.03]

Chloe Sullivan: Clark Kent is a football player and Lana Lang is a waitress.

Pete Ross: What's the matter with that?

Chloe Sullivan: Nothing, I just want to click my heels and get back to reality.

Lex Luthor: You both stood your ground and are doing what you want. I caved. You two have inspired me.

Clark Kent: [sarcastically] Oh yeah. Joining the football team and pouring some coffee. We're a couple of real rebels.

Lana Lang: Long live the revolution.

Lionel Luthor: You get one.

Lex Luthor: One what?

Lionel Luthor: One chance to defy me.

Lex Luthor: I can't figure out what you hate more - the fact that my plan works, or that you didn't come up with it first.

Lionel Luthor: Just remember - empires aren't built on clever bookkeeping.

Lex Luthor: Dad, you have no idea what I'm capable of.

Lex Luthor: My father sent me to Smallville because he'd rather surround himself with drones than people who challenge his archaic business practices.

Lionel Luthor: You know perfectly well how I feel about you.

Lex Luthor: Hence I'm at a crap factory in Smallville.

Lionel Luthor: Did you know the Caesars would send their sons to the furthest most corners of the empire so they could get an appreciation of how the world works?

Lex Luthor: Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dad.

X-Ray[edit]

[1.04]

Lex Luthor: I promise I'm not a criminal mastermind.

Clark Kent: I know; a criminal mastermind would have worn a mask.

Clark Kent: You go through life with a gift you have to keep a secret. When you see everyone around you being normal, you get jealous. You just want to be somebody else.

Lex Luthor: You came into my life, thinking you could shake me down 'cause I'm just some spoiled rich brat who needed his daddy's protection. Trust me - when I make things disappear, they stay buried.

[using x-ray vision to find a body]

Clark Kent: It's Tina's mom.

Pete Ross: Damn. How'd you know she was in there?

Clark Kent: Because I can see right through the door, Pete.

Pete Ross: Very funny, Sherlock. How do you think she died?

Clark Kent: Broken neck... I'm guessing.

Clark Kent: Mom, if you could see anything, what would you do?

Martha Kent: Learn to close my eyes.

Cool[edit]

[1.05]

Chloe Sullivan: This is what I love about high school parties. People will gather anywhere as long as there's illegally-purchased alcohol and even the slightest chance of hooking up.

Jonathan Kent: We already talked about that.

Martha Kent: I talked, you grunted.

Jonathan Kent: I thought that I was rather articulate.

Clark Kent: Hello, citizens.

Martha Kent: I'm not familiar with this child. Where's the moody one? Lives upstairs, runs real fast?

Clark Kent: Maybe I can help.

Jonathan Kent: You already have. Last season you saved us four part-time hands.

Clark Kent: I'm thinking bigger picture. You know, forget about this whole high school thing. Try for a pro sports team. I could make a ton of money in endorsements... [smiles] just trying to lighten up the mood.

Martha Kent: As much as we'd love to see your face on a cereal box, we'd settle for you getting to school on time.

Lex Luthor: The hardest thing in the world is telling someone you love, that you like them.

Hourglass[edit]

[1.06]

Cassandra Carver: Because we both know... you're not like other people.

Clark Kent: Sure I am...

Cassandra Carver: No Clark, I've seen you. Before we ever met. More than once, I've touched people and seen such pain and despair and - But then you were there and the pain was gone. I think that's your destiny, Clark. To save people from fear and darkness. You can fear the future or you can embrace it. The choice is yours.

Lex Luthor: Life's a journey, Clark; I don't wanna go through it following a roadmap.

Clark Kent: It still wouldn't kill you to drive more slowly.

Lex Luthor: I once read about a rich man who survived a hotel fire. He hung onto the ledge for an hour before the fire department rescued him. Afterwards he bought the hotel...always stayed in the room. When they asked him why, he said he figured Fate couldn't find him twice.

Clark Kent: You might consider rounding those curves at a speed that won't actually break the sound barrier.

Lex Luthor: Hey, where's the fun in that?

Lex Luthor: You see, I don't want to do good things, I want to do great things.

Craving[edit]

[1.07]

Clark Kent: [doesn't see Lana] Dad, I got the posts in the west field. I hit some granite, but I jammed it through.

[sees Lana, pauses]

Lana Lang: Very impressive.

Clark Kent: Well, I had a sledgehammer.

Chloe Sullivan: Getting your morning Lana fix?

Clark Kent: Chloe, don't you ever knock?

Chloe Sullivan: It's a barn, Clark.

Clark Kent: Is there a reason you're here early or do you just enjoy busting my chops?

Chloe Sullivan: Little of both.

Lex Luthor: I don't care about the past - I believe in the power to reinvent yourself.

Clark Kent: I can't believe we're creeping around looking for road kill.

Chloe Sullivan: The deer's in there... the door's locked. I'm gonna go find a maintenance worker.

[Clark uses super strength to open the door]

Clark Kent: Chloe, it's open.

Chloe Sullivan: How'd you do that?

Clark Kent: Kent charm.

Chloe Sullivan: This is Smallville, Clark. Land of the weird, home of the strange.

Jitters[edit]

[1.08]

Lex Luthor: I hear you're taking a tour of my plant tomorrow.

Chloe Sullivan: It's a class field trip.

Lex Luthor: What'd you do wrong?

Clark Kent: It's that bad?

Clark Kent: Look, Earl worked on the farm for six seasons. I spent 12 hours a day with the guy out in the fields. He even tried to teach me how to play guitar. He said it was a good way to impress women.

Chloe Sullivan: Yeah, we're all a sucker for a guy with a 6-string. How come I've never heard you play?

Clark Kent: I kept snapping the guitar strings. I think Earl got sick of replacing them.

Gabe Sullivan: Welcome to LuthorCorp, where we give a crap.

Chloe Sullivan: (to Clark) Okay, somebody kill me now.

Gabe Sullivan: A little fertilizer humor there. Before we go inside I need you to remove all your cellphones, pagers, jewelery. Anything that jangles, dangles or rings can go in these plastic trays right here. All right? Any other questions?

Clark Kent: I heard there was a third level to the plant, is that true?

Gabe Sullivan: Yeah, that's where we do the alien autopsies.

Chloe Sullivan: (to Clark) Don't encourage him.

Pete Ross: What are you gonna do now that you're officially home alone?

Clark Kent: I was thinking of having a few people over.

Chloe Sullivan: Do my ears deceive me or is Clark Kent actually suggesting a party?

Clark Kent: A small gathering. You guys, a few other people, maybe even Lana.

Chloe Sullivan: With or without her posable action-figure boyfriend?

Martha Kent: We called six times last night, spoke with six different people, none of whom knew who you were.

Clark Kent: It was supposed to be an intimate occasion.

Jonathan Kent: Clark, where have you been?

Clark Kent: The hospital.

Martha Kent: That's it. I'm never leaving home again.

Rogue[edit]

[1.09]

[Lex points to a breastplate with an "S" symbol.]

Lex Luthor: You know it belonged to Alexander the Great? They said the design symbolizes strength and courage.

Clark Kent: I can't exactly see myself going into battle with that on my chest.

Lex Luthor: Darker times call for darker methods. His opponents thought he was invincible.

Clark Kent: I didn't know you were such a history buff.

Lex Luthor: I'm not. I'm just interested in people who ruled the world before they were thirty.

Lana Lang: Don't worry, Lex. You still have a few years to go.

Chloe Sullivan: It figures you'd side with her.

Clark Kent: I'm not taking anyone's side.

Chloe Sullivan: Yeah right, Clark, you're completely objective in all things Lana.

Victoria Hardwick: He understands you may have certain negative feelings towards your father.

Lex Luthor: Sir Harry has always had an incredible grasp of the obvious.

Clark Kent: Phelan came back after you were arrested. I got so angry that I grabbed him. And for a second, I wanted to... I wanted to kill him.

Jonathan Kent: But you didn't, right?

Clark Kent: Yeah, but I was close.

Jonathan Kent: Believe me, son, I know all there is to know about losing your temper. But you can't afford to do it. This is Phelan's game, and he will play your fear and your anger but you cannot let him get to you.

Clark Kent: I don't care. I won't let anybody hurt you and mom.

Jonathan Kent: And he knows that. But once you cross that line, there's no going back.

Lana Lang: Clark, what happened to you last night?

Clark Kent: I wasn't feeling well. Guess I'm not much of a city guy.

Chloe Sullivan: You can take the boy off the farm but you can't take the farm out of the boy.

Shimmer[edit]

[1.10]

Clark Kent: No, I think I'll play it by ear, you know, fly by the seat of my pants...

Pete Ross: Clark, you're not the flying type.

Lionel Luthor: Empires are not brought down by outside forces - they are destroyed by weaknesses from within.

[discussing the blood drive]

Jonathan Kent: Clark, you know you can't donate.

Clark Kent: I know, dad but what am I supposed to tell her?

Martha Kent: That you have a problem with needles, which you technically do.

Clark Kent: Great, not only do I lie, but I look like a wuss.

Clark Kent: Have you ever got information that you wish you hadn't?

Lex Luthor: In my experience I've found you can never have too much information.

Lana Lang: That's the thing about Clark Kent: he's not always there when you want him... but he's always there when you need him.

Hug[edit]

[1.11]

Clark Kent: Don't do this. I'm your friend.

Lex Luthor: Oh please. You think I don't see the way your parents look at me? The way half the town looks at me? You're no different. Friendship's a fairy tale, Clark. Respect and fear are the best you can hope for.

Clark Kent: I don't see myself being a farmer when I grow up.

Lana Lang: What do you want to do?

Clark Kent: I'm not sure. Just as long as it doesn't involve putting on a suit and doing a lot of flying.

Lex Luthor: Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird?

Clark Kent: Never read it.

Lex Luthor: You should. You two have a lot in common. Small-town heroes. Believe in the truth. Not willing to back down.

Clark Kent: How does it end?

Lex Luthor: It's not about the ending, it's about the journey.

Clark Kent: What kills me is that I know that I'm right. I just wish I could get them to see it.

Lex Luthor: That, my friend, is the key to leadership. Not only knowing you're right, but convincing everyone else. If you can do that, the world's your oyster.

Kyle Tippet: Do you know what it's like to have to hide because of who you are?

Clark Kent: Yes, I do. But when you have a gift you can't just hide in a hole and hope it goes away.

Lex Luthor: You can learn a lot from someone you hate.

Leech[edit]

[1.12]

Jonathan Kent: You know what they say: lightning never strikes twice in the same place. Look, my guess is that your powers aren't coming back.

Clark Kent: Maybe being normal won't be so bad; I mean it works for you and Mom.

Martha Kent: Oh, thanks.

Clark Kent: You don't feel any differently about me now do you?

Martha Kent: Clark, you're our son whether you can bench-press the tractor or not.

Clark Kent: What do I do now?

Jonathan Kent: Well, life isn't easy for anybody, whether you're normal or super. But you're still Clark Kent. You were raised a certain way and that's never gonna change. Sure, your abilities were part of you, but they didn't define you.

Lex Luthor: [to Victoria] If sleeping with me was just business, I'd hate to think what that makes you.

Clark Kent: You think I'm hiding something from you? Here. Take this hammer. Hit me anywhere.

Lex Luthor: I'm not gonna hit you, Clark.

Clark Kent: Come on! If I can get hit by a car, you can't hurt me.

Lex Luthor: Clark, I just want the truth.

Clark Kent: The truth is I'm just a guy who tried to do the right thing. Isn't that enough?

Lana Lang: Can you imagine waking up one morning and having powers?

Clark Kent: It's scary... I guess. I mean, look at Eric. It hasn't helped him.

Lana Lang: That's true. But I still always wished I could fly.

Clark Kent: Yeah, that'd be something, Lana.

Jonathan Kent: Clark, your gifts are... well, they're part of you but they don't define you.

Clark Kent: I know. But they complicate all of our lives.

Jonathan Kent: Seeing how destructive Eric got, it just reminds me of how special you really are.

Clark Kent: That's because Eric didn't get my two strongest gifts. You and Mom.

Kinetic[edit]

[1.13]

Clark Kent: I just want to say I'm sorry.

Chloe Sullivan: For what?

Clark Kent: Letting you get hurt.

Chloe Sullivan: Well, I am perturbed with you, Clark. I'm also mad that you didn't put out the Chicago fire of 1871, or prevent the fall of the Roman Empire, making you directly responsible for the Dark Ages.

Lex Luthor: Clark, you can't save the world. All you'll end up with is a Messiah complex and a lot of enemies.

Clark Kent: I saved you, didn't I? That turned out all right.

Clark Kent: Chloe, you can't just go snooping around someone's house.

Chloe Sullivan: It's a mansion. It's designed for snooping.

Clark Kent: How you feeling?

Chloe Sullivan: Like a million bucks... thrown in the washing machine set on spin.

Clark Kent: The question is, how'd they get inside?

Pete Ross: I don't know. Now stop channeling Chloe and come on. [Clark uses his x-ray vision] Oh no, not the Kent thousand-yard stare.

Zero[edit]

[1.14]

Pete Ross: No offense, Clark, but digging up six pages of interesting on you is going to require some serious excavation.

Clark Kent: I do stuff...

Chloe Sullivan: Yes, and I'm sure that once I deploy my journalistic skills on you, I'll be able to unearth a skeleton or two.

Clark Kent: You know, Chloe, this is a class project, not a corruption scandal.

Chloe Sullivan: Relax, Clark, it's not like you have anything to hide, right?

Pete Ross: In a world of designer water, Clark Kent is straight from the tap.

Jonathan Kent: Let's just say that it's a very long road between what's sitting in our storm cellar and what's written on your birth certificate.

Pete Ross: There was this bully three grades ahead of us. This dude was determined to pound dents into every kid in the school. One day, I guess it was my turn. He was just about to take my head off when Clark jumped between us.

Chloe Sullivan: So Clark ran interference. Now, as kind as that sounds, Pete, I really don't think it falls under the "something amazing" test.

Pete Ross: I'm not finished. Clark didn't just push brain-dead away. He put him through a door, as in splinters and broken hinges. How he did it, I still have no idea. The guy was at least twice our size.

Chloe Sullivan: Clark, any comments?

Clark Kent: Uh, well, we were, you know, six years old. Twice our size was three feet tall.

Clark Kent: My biological parents are either dead or didn't want me. The point is, you're prying into my private life.

Chloe Sullivan: I was just trying to be thorough.

Clark Kent: This is a class project. I spent an hour yesterday with Lana. That's it. That's all I needed. I'm not some mystery for you to solve.

Nicodemus[edit]

[1.15]

Lex Luthor: This isn't you.

Lana Lang: Why? Because I'm not doing exactly as I'm told? Because I'm not stuck in a corner hiding in a book? For once I am not afraid of life and nobody can handle it cause you all prefer the insecure little girl. Well I'm sick of her and all of her talk about her dead parents.

Clark Kent: What's going on with Dad?

Martha Kent: I don't know. He's been acting strange ever since he got home.

Jonathan Kent: [Getting a beer from the fridge] Hey, Clark. Football game on TV. You wanna watch it with me?

Clark Kent: Don't you have work to do?

Jonathan Kent: Nah, chores can wait. Besides, I earned a rest. You can pick up the slack for me, can't ya?

Clark Kent: It's good to see this whole hero thing didn't go to your head.

Lana Lang: You think too much, Clark.

Clark Kent: Right now, I'm thinking you don't seem like yourself.

Lana Lang: Or maybe... [starts to undress] ...I'm more me than ever.

Clark Kent: Lana... this is crazy.

Lana Lang: That's the point. If life doesn't make you crazy, then why bother living it? I know that's how I want it.

Lana Lang: I know you want me, Clark. Stop holding back. Come on... you're not made of steel. Or are you?

Dr. Steven Hamilton: Remember, Lex. You're the one opening Pandora's box.

Lex Luthor: I'm just the key, Dr. Hamilton.

Stray[edit]

[1.16]

Clark Kent: I didn't know you liked comic books.

Lex Luthor: Are you kidding? A strange visitor from another planet who protects the weak? When I was young he was my idol, not to mention that fact he's bald. I have the whole collection.

Lex Luthor: I think he saw Julian as his second chance. A chance for him to have a son he could truly love.

Clark Kent: I'm sorry.

Lex Luthor: It's in the past, Clark. We would have ended up hating each other anyway. My father would have seen to that.

Lex Luthor: What could you possibly have to complain about now? The plant's doing well. LuthorCorp stock is up.

Lionel Luthor: I'm not here to complain, Lex. On the contrary, your performance lately has been... more than adequate.

Lex Luthor: That sounds dangerously like a compliment.

Ryan James: Are you sure you don't want to know how Lana feels about you?

Clark Kent: I prefer to find out on my own.

Ryan James: Clark, be careful of Lex. I know you like him, but there's a lot of darkness he keeps from the world. I've seen it in his head.

Clark Kent: I like to believe in people's best.

Lex Luthor: You know what those emperors you're so fond of talking about were really afraid of? That their sons would become successful and return to Rome at the head of their own army.

Lionel Luthor: You think you can find your future in Smallville? I'm your future. Join me, Lex. Join me in Metropolis. How long have you been waiting to hear me to say those words?

Lex Luthor: I've waited to hear other things from you for a lot longer. I'll return to Metropolis when I'm ready.

Lione Luthorl: At the head of an army?

Reaper[edit]

[1.17]

Lex Luthor: Do you know what my father gave me for my tenth birthday? A copy of The Will to Power.. Behold the super man. Man is something to be overcome." Sun Tzu, Machiavelli, Nietzsche. They were the voices that nurtured me after my mother died. My father made every question a quiz, every choice a test. Second best was for losers, compassion for losers, trust no one. Those were the lessons I grew up with.

Dominic Sanatori: I'll remember that if I'm ever interviewed by the biography channel.

Lex Luthor: All I'm saying, Dominic, is try and remember who I was raised by. I try to deny it, but I'm still my father's son. Tread carefully.

Lex Luthor: Do you have a family photo?

Jonathan Kent: Yeah, I got lots of family photos, Lex.

Lex Luthor: The only picture of my father and me appears in the LuthorCorp annual report.

Jonathan Kent: Is this the part where I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?

Lex Luthor: No. I just want you to understand if I'm guilty of anything regarding your family, it's envy.

Lex Luthor: In his own way, he's just trying to give you something my father never gave me.

Clark Kent: What's that?

Lex Luthor: Limitations. All my father ever told me was "Don't get caught. Don't cause a scandal." That's not love, that's public relations. You have no idea how lucky you are. When my father dies, kings will come to his funeral, but when yours does, his friends will come.

Lex Luthor: Let's be frank, Dominic. My father sent you here to spy on me because he's afraid of how well I'm doing. This was my last chance to prove myself and he just assumed I'd fail. Now he has to revise his definition of me. I'm not just his screw-up son anymore. Now I'm competition. And my father only knows one way of dealing with competition.

Dominic Santori: There are some things better left between patient and therapist, Lex.

Lex Luthor: You know, in ancient Persia, the kings would kill a messenger who brought them news they didn't like. In modern times, a sword in the chest might seem a little extreme. Something more subtle would be in order. Enjoying your drink?

Clark Kent: Dad, I know how we can catch more fish this year.

Jonathan Kent: What, new lures?

Clark Kent: X-ray vision.

Drone[edit]

[1.18]

Lex Luthor: There's nothing wrong with a good fight. Just remember, the man of tomorrow is forged by his battles today.

Clark Kent: Could I use that? I mean, "the man of tomorrow" for my slogan?

Lex Luthor: Knock yourself out.

Chloe Sullivan: I just want to know what you stand for.

Clark Kent: I stand for truth, justice, and... other stuff.

Chloe Sullivan: Okay, well, I think the man of tomorrow needs to get a platform for today.

Chloe Sullivan: So how goes the platform?

Clark Kent: I haven't started working on it yet. I've been so busy meeting new people, I even got invited to parties this weekend.

Chloe Sullivan: I can't believe it only took one day for you to be compromised by the lure of popularity.

Clark Kent: Remind me to pull your funding after I'm elected.

Pete Ross: This is just a pit stop. We wanted to take advantage of your 2-for-1 deal.

Lana Lang: I figure that's the last step before I institute topless waitressing.

Pete Ross: Well, here's to hoping it fails miserably.

Chloe Sullivan: Well, my candidate may have won, but my friends lost. I'm really proud of you tonight, Clark.

Clark Kent: Why?

Chloe Sullivan: Because you're exhibiting dignity in the face of defeat. It's the quality that all great leaders possess.

Crush[edit]

[1.19]

Danny Kwan: I see you in a uniform flying. You ever considered a career in the air force?

Clark Kent: Um, I'll think about it.

Clark Kent: We see each other every day.

Chloe Sullivan: It was 45 minutes when my car happened to break down outside the Talon and you gave me a ride home. I practically had to tear you away from Lana.

Clark Kent: Don't you think you're being just a little unfair?

Chloe Sullivan: No. Whenever Lex and Lana are around, it's like the rest of us don't exist.

Clark Kent: Wait, Chloe, why are you being so hypersensitive?

Chloe Sullivan: You know, most men are from Mars, Clark, but you're from some distant galaxy that I've never even heard of.

Clark Kent: Chloe likes me.

Lana Lang: So how do you feel about her?

Clark Kent: Like maybe we could be more than friends. When I saw her with Justin today, I got kinda...

Lana Lang: Jealous?

Clark Kent: It's like you find out this secret and it colors everything. I just can't believe I never saw it before.

Lana Lang: Sometimes the right person can be right in front of your eyes and you never even know it.

Clark Kent: I've always liked Lana, but I can never get near her. I just found out that Chloe likes me and I think I may have feelings for her too.

Lex Luthor: So which one do you want to pursue?

Clark Kent: That's the thing, I want to protect my friendship with both.

Lex Luthor: Then you'll never get either one.

Lex Luthor: Clark, love isn't about playing it safe. It's about risks. Unless you're willing to put yourself out there, you'll never know.

Clark Kent: Have you ever been in love before?

Lex Luthor: I've only loved two women in my life. One died and the other betrayed me.

Clark Kent: I'm sorry.

Lex Luthor: Some people are meant to be alone.

Obscura[edit]

[1.20]

Clark Kent: The printer's jammed, the scanner's broken, and the Spring Formal event schedule is late. Chloe leaves for a day and the Torch goes down in flames.

Lana Lang: It's safe to say we won't lose you to the entrancing world of journalism.

Clark Kent: I'm just afraid that if Lana sees me with another girl, she's going to think that the door is closed.

Martha Kent: The door is closed, Clark. And you need to admit that to yourself.

Clark Kent: Dad, Lex is just trying to do the right thing.

Jonathan Kent: I know he is, Clark. I know he didn't try to buy me off, he's just trying to repay me for damages that he thinks he caused. You're right, I got no real reason to doubt him. It's just something in my gut tells me I should.

Clark Kent: Lex isn't perfect, Dad. I know that. But slamming the door in his face over and over only helps turn him into exactly what you think he already is.

Jonathan Kent: When did you get to be so wise?

Clark Kent: Ask my dad.

Clark Kent: You know, I remember the first time I met Chloe. It was eighth grade. She'd just transferred from Metropolis and I was assigned to show her around. The first thing she wanted to know was where she could buy a copy of the Planet so she could keep in touch with civilization. When she found out I lived on a farm, she insisted I invite her over to experience it first hand. I think she thought I was Amish. When I brought her up here, she just kissed me, right out of the blue.

Lana Lang: Why'd she do that?

Clark Kent: She said "I know you've been thinking about that all day, so I figured we'd get it out of the way and be friends."

Lex Luthor: I found a man. He said something besides the meteors came down that day.

Clark Kent: Like what?

Lex Luthor: A ship.

Clark Kent: And you believe him?

Lex Luthor: I listened. Chances are he's just another crackpot, but I'd be remiss if I didn't check it out.

Clark Kent: And when the next story comes up, you'll be sure to check that one out too. When are you going to be able to put your past behind you?

Lex Luthor: Take a look at the stars, Clark. Some of them have been extinguished for thousands of years, but their light is only reaching us now. The past is always influencing the present. I can't change that. All I can do is try to understand it.

Tempest[edit]

[1.21]

Lionel Luthor: We're in business to make profits, not friends! You can't let your emotions get in the way of making tough decisions.

Lex Luthor: Don't lecture me about letting emotions get in the way! This plant was showing a profit. You're only shutting it down because I wouldn't go work for you in Metropolis.

Lionel Luthor: Lex, you may have felt that you found a home here, but you were mistaken! This was just your training ground. Well, your training is over! You're coming home, son.

Clark Kent: Why would your father be against the plant?

Lex Luthor: We have a complicated relationship, Clark. My father wants me to believe it's built on trust, but it's not. It's built on lies and deceit. Any relationship with that foundation is destined to fail. Lucky we don't have that problem.

Clark Kent: Lucky us.

Lex Luthor: I don't know. Just got a bad feeling. Kind of like when you can smell the air change before a storm.

Clark Kent: Storms are a way of life around here, Lex. The trick is not to get caught out in the open.

Lionel Luthor: It's suicide, Lex! You may get the plant, but you're putting your employee's homes on the line. Forfeiting your own future!

Lex Luthor: Or forging a new destiny free from you!

Lionel Luthor: You're not my enemy. You're my son.

Lex Luthor: I never saw the distinction.

Lionel Luthor: When Alexander the Great was dying, his generals asked who he would leave his empire to. If he would appoint a successor, it would keep the legacy intact... prevent generations of bloodshed! His answer was simple, 'I leave it to the strongest.'

Lex Luthor: I believe the term is 'Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!'

Lionel Luthor: I'll bury you and everyone in Smallville who takes your side!

Season 2[edit]

Vortex[edit]

[2.01]

Roger Nixon: Why don't you stop playing the protector and admit the truth? You and your wife kept him because you couldn't have children of your own.

Jonathan Kent: We kept him because he is our son and we love him.

Roger Nixon: He's not your son, you deluded hick! He's not even human! You can kill me if you want for saying this, but you know I'm right. You're just a small man whose son's destiny is too big for you to comprehend. Clark doesn't belong to you. He belongs to the world.

Clark Kent: Dad's missing because of me. I brought this upon us.

Martha Kent: You can't blame yourself. You can't change who you are. As long as you live, people will try to exploit you. Your father and I have tried to shelter you as long as possible, but one day we won't be there for you. And you're gonna have to carry the burden of your gifts on your own.

Clark Kent: Don't say that, Mom.

Martha Kent: And when your day comes, I have no doubt in my heart that you'll make us proud.

Roger Nixon: Mr. Kent, since the beginning of time, people have been looking up at the stars and wondering "What's out there?" Clark is the answer that they have been waiting for.

Roger Nixon: Dying in a tomb. That's ironic. At least you got a legacy to leave behind... and a son to be proud of.

Jonathan Kent: The first time Clark used his abilities, he'd crawled under a big oak bed that my grandfather had made, and I crawled underneath it to try to get him out. All of a sudden the frame just came up in the air. He was a toddler lifting, I don't know, 500 pounds over his head.

Roger Nixon: What did you do?

Jonathan Kent: We decided to take him to a doctor scientist, somebody more equipped to understand than we were. But when we got in front of the office, Martha, she said that if we left him there that they would want to keep him and we'd never see him again. So I took him home. Now, that may have been a mistake, but it was a mistake I'd gladly make again.

Lana Lang: When the tornado came, I thought this was it. Fate had finally found me. Then I saw you in the truck and you put your arms around me and you told me that everything was going to be okay. I know, it sounds crazy, but I started to think of all the other times that you've been there to protect me. And I thought maybe there's more to Clark Kent than meets the eye.

Clark Kent: You're right. It does sound crazy. I mean, there's nothing more to me than what you see.

Heat[edit]

[2.02]

Clark Kent: I started to feel hot. And my eyes started to burn. All of a sudden, the spot I was staring at burst into flames.

Martha Kent: Just by looking at it?

Clark Kent: Hello? Hi, I'm Clark, I'm the kid who can lift up tractors and see through walls.

Clark Kent: I want to make sure everything's okay between us.

Chloe Sullivan: Yeah, it's hunky-dory!

Clark Kent: Wait. Now I know something's wrong. The only person who says "hunky-dory" is my father.

Clark Kent: Dad, you were right. Once I understood what triggered the heat, I was able to control it without thinking about... sex.

Jonathan Kent: You sure about that son?

Clark Kent: Trust me. Next time I have a date, I'll be able to take her out without setting her on fire.

Jonathan Kent: Well, that's a relief.

Martha Kent: My son is in jail. And your wife put him there.

Lex Luthor: Maybe these fires were a cry for help.

Martha Kent: Is that you talking, or is Mrs. Luthor talking through you?

Lex Luthor: Mrs. Kent, I would never ask you to take sides against your husband, please don't ask me to doubt my wife.

Martha Kent: Any good relationship relies on trust, but there has to be room to disagree. Like the way Jonathan and I disagreed about you. He couldn't see past the Luthor name, but I always thought you were truly trying to be a friend to Clark. Now I'm beginning to think Jonathan was right all along.

Lex Luthor: Try to be more cautious. I let my passion get the best of me. I won't make that mistake again.

Clark Kent: Lex, I don't think having passion is such a bad thing.

Lex Luthor: You're right, Clark. Passion for life and work and friends is great. As long as you keep it in check. I should take a page out of your book.

Duplicity[edit]

[2.03]

Lionel Luthor: Never underestimate the value of eccentrics and lunatics, Lex. Every Arthur needs his Merlin.

[Pete finds Clark's spaceship]

Pete Ross: This thing's got extraterrestrial written all over it.

Clark Kent: Yeah, I bet there's little green guys running around the cornfield too, Pete.

Pete Ross: I'm serious, Clark. Have you ever seen anything like it?

Clark Kent: If the aliens came to Earth, don't you think they'd find a place a little more exciting than Smallville?

Pete Ross: No, no, no, think about it. Crop circles, cattle mutilation. They'd be like kids in a candy store here!

Pete Ross: So you're some sort of... what? You're not a human?

Clark Kent: I don't know what I am. I don't know where that ship brought me from. I just know that I grew up in Smallville, and everything that I care about and everyone that I care about is here.

Pete Ross: If you care about me so much, how come you never told me sooner?

Clark Kent: Pete, believe me, there wasn't a day that went by where I didn't want to tell you, but my parents thought it was too dangerous. Not just for me, but for anyone else who knew the truth.

Pete Ross: You didn't think I could handle it?

Clark Kent: Can you?

Clark Kent: Pete, another reason why I didn't say anything is because I knew people would look at me the exact same way that you're looking at me right now.

Pete Ross: And how's that?

Clark Kent: Like a freak. Pete, I've tried my whole life just to blend in, to try and be more normal than anyone else. Would you just say something? Call me... call me an alien, call me a monster. I don't care, just say something.

Pete Ross: It's like I don't even know you.

Pete Ross: Sure, Chloe. I saw a spaceship. I even met an alien.

Chloe Sullivan: Really? Would you like to describe it?

Pete Ross: Actually he looks a lot like Clark.

Chloe Sullivan: I thought aliens were little and green.

Pete Ross: I guess things aren't always what you think they are.

Pete Ross: What about the x-ray deal? Have you ever used it to look through a girls...

Clark Kent: It only works when I focus and I do not use it to invade people's privacy.

Pete Ross: So you're telling me never once have you looked in the girls' locker room?

Clark Kent: Well... maybe once.

Pete Ross: That's my boy.

Red[edit]

[2.04]

Martha Kent: I think our not so normal son might be going through some classic teenage rebellion.

Jonathan Kent: Well, I think I liked dealing with heat vision a lot better than that.

Jonathan Kent: Get in the truck, son.

Clark Kent: Give me one reason why I should.

Jonathan Kent: Because I am your father and I just told you to get in the truck.

Clark Kent: You're not my father. You never were.

Martha Kent: If the green meteor rocks affect Clark physically, maybe the red affects him emotionally.

Jonathan Kent: It would sure explain his personality changes.

Martha Kent: The longer he's exposed to the green meteors, the worse he gets. If the same is true with the red rocks, then God help us all.

Clark Kent: Hey, if you guys want to waste your life in this mud hole, that's your problem. I'm through being poor.

Jonathan Kent: Listen, we might not have all the things that other people have, but I didn't think our family was about that!

Clark Kent: With my abilities, I can make millions. Sports, TV... it's all waiting for me. You're the ones who have been forcing me to hide who I really am.

Jonathan Kent: No! We are the ones who have been trying to protect you. We don't want anybody coming here and taking you away.

Clark Kent: Protecting me? Using me. I'm just another piece of equipment to keep your little farm going.

Clark Kent: Lex may be too afraid to tell you, but I'm not. No one in Smallville wants you here.

Lionel Luthor: You seem to know a lot about me. You got a name?

Clark Kent: Clark Kent.

Lionel Luthor: Jonathan and Martha Kent's son? As far as I know, they're good people. Salt of the earth. I'm astonished they'd raise such a blatantly aggressive offspring.

Clark Kent: Well, if you like them so much, I'm sure they'll put you up. I hear they have a spare bedroom, and I know they could use the cash.

Lionel Luthor: You've got a lot to learn about tact, young man. But you speak your mind. That's good. It'll take you far.

Clark Kent: Oh, I'm going to the top.

Nocturne[edit]

[2.05]

Clark Kent: [reading a poem] It's a little mushy.

Lana Lang: I almost forgot. Clark Kent, the man of steel.

Lex Luthor: Anyone who doesn't appreciate poetry doesn't understand that it's all about seduction.

Lionel Luthor: Lex? I can feel your smirk from here.

Martha Kent: Are you all right?

Pete Ross: Yeah. The doctor's say it's a hairline fracture, which is ironic because it hurts everywhere else except my hairline. Being part of this family should come with its own group health insurance.

Lana Lang: If you really like someone, you accept every part of them. But you can't do that until they're willing to share every part with you.

Redux[edit]

[2.06]

Clark Kent: My mom's been kind of secretive the last couple days.

Lana Lang: A Kent secretive. That's shocking.

Lana Lang: All these years, I've had this image of the Kents as the perfect family.

Clark Kent: I guess we're just as dysfunctional as everyone else.

Principal Terrence Reynolds: A person is judged by the company they keep. In my experience, Lex Luthor doesn't have friends. He sees people as a means towards an end.

Clark Kent: I don't think that's true.

Principal Terrence Reynolds: Time will tell.

Clark Kent: Two progeria deaths in two days. What are the odds of that?

Chloe Sullivan: I don't know. Lana wanted to cancel the Spirit Week party, but Principal Reynolds asked her not to. He said he wanted to keep things as normal as possible.

Pete Ross: He obviously hasn't had his normal-meter reset for Smallville.

Lex Luthor: You pushed me, and in hindsight, I appreciate that. In some ways, you're responsible for the man I am today.

Principal Terrence Reynolds: I'm not sure that's a burden I care to take on.

Lineage[edit]

[2.07]

Martha Kent: How can you be as fast as lightning and as slow as molasses all at the same time?

Clark Kent: Sometimes, Mom, I'm even a mystery to myself.

Jonathan Kent: Wait a minute, didn't I just fix your alarm clock recently?

Clark Kent: Yeah, but I crushed it this morning hitting the snooze alarm. Guess I'm not much of a morning person.

Jonathan Kent: Must have got that from your mother. You know, she could be late to her own wedding. In fact, she was late to her own wedding.

Martha Kent: Not all of us were trained by roosters.

Lana Lang: What's wrong?

Chloe Sullivan: Clark and I just had a massive blow-out.

Lana Lang: About what?

Chloe Sullivan: His secrets, privacy... my pathological inability to curb my curiosity.

Pete Ross: Man, this "Mission Impossible" stuff is great. But other than my scintillating conversational skills, I still don't understand why you brought me along.

Clark Kent: I need your spit.

Lex Luthor: Ever wish you had a big brother to help you with your jump shot?

Clark Kent: I think I've managed to become a pretty decent player on my own.

Lex Luthor: Rachel Dunleavy came to see me. She says you and I have a few chromosomes in common. My father's chromosomes to be exact.

Clark Kent: You mean...

Lex Luthor: Personally, I think I got all the looks in the family.

Lana Lang: I have done pretty well without a father this long. I don't know why I thought I needed one now.

Clark Kent: I do. Lana, we're different. We don't get to see our biological parents every day, and see a little piece of who we are, who we may become. If I had a chance to get to know my birth parents, I wouldn't give up just because the first meeting didn't go the way I hoped.

Ryan[edit]

[2.08]

Lex Luthor: So you staged a one-man prison break? How did you manage to get him out without anybody stopping you?

Clark Kent: Just lucky, I guess.

Lex Luthor: You're the luckiest guy I've ever met. Let's hope it doesn't run out before tomorrow.

Lex Luthor: Ryan, real life is not a comic book. Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty, make compromises.

Ryan James: That's what your father told you. That doesn't mean it's right.

Lex Luthor: Clark, I understand what you're going through, but sometimes, no matter how much you want to save someone, there's nothing you can do.

Clark Kent: I'm not gonna let Ryan down.

Lex Luthor: When my mother got sick, I spent all my time researching the best doctors and treatments. The most important thing I could've done was spend time with her. By the time I realized that, it was too late. I wasn't at her side when she passed, Clark. Don't make the same mistake I did.

Clark Kent: I'm not going to let him die, Lex.

Ryan James: Weren't they best friends?

Lex Luthor: Once upon a time.

Ryan James: Well, what happened to them?

Lex Luthor: Well, they ruled the Guardian Realm together until Devilicus told Warrior Angel that they should join forces and conquer humanity. Together, no one would be able to stop them.

Ryan James: What did Warrior Angel say?

Lex Luthor: He refused. He believed it was a hero's sacred duty to protect those weaker than himself. Devilicus thought he was naive and vowed to destroy him and everything he stood for.

Ryan James: Why do you think Devilicus went bad?

Lex Luthor: I'm not sure. Probably wasn't aware of it. You see, Ryan, in life, the road to darkness is a journey, not a light switch.

Ryan James: You should remember that, Lex.

Lex Luthor: I'm prepared to sacrifice it if that's what it takes to defeat you.

Mayor William Tate: You know, you've got money, but you're not from here. People don't like you. All it'll take is some fiery campaign speeches about outside interests controlling this community and you'll start to feel the heat.

Lex Luthor: When Winston Churchill heard about the attack on Pearl Harbor, he broke out a bottle of champagne and said, "We've won the war." His generals looked at him like he'd lost his mind. America's pacific fleet was wiped out, France was overrun, and the Luftwaffe was bombing London. Churchill said America is like a giant boiler. Light a fire under it, and there's no limit to the amount of heat it can generate. If you start a fire, Mayor Tate, you better be prepared to deal with the flames.

Dichotic[edit]

[2.09]

[at an anger management class]

Lex Luthor: What are you here for?

Helen Bryce: I drop kicked an orderly. I have a violent reaction to incompetence.

Lex Luthor: The drop kick must have caught him off guard.

Helen Bryce: So, what did you do? Verbally demean your butler?

Lex Luthor: Cute. I took a 9 iron to a meter maid's car.

Helen Bryce: Wow, now I'm really jealous. I've always wanted to do that. How'd it feel?

Lex Luthor: Great.

Helen Bryce: Word of advice, keep that to yourself in here.

Lex Luthor: Guess I owe you a belated thank you.

Helen Bryce: Actually, I should be thanking you. It's cases like yours that convinced me to leave Metropolis.

Lex Luthor: I'm flattered I turned you from a life of nose jobs and liposuctions to small town medicine.

Helen Bryce: For the record, I refused to join my father's practice and we stopped speaking.

Lex Luthor: They hate when you do that.

Helen Bryce: Sounds like you speak from experience.

Lex Luthor: You witnessed my self-destructive phase. Then I almost let my father die... now I'm just trying to beat him at his own game.

Helen Bryce: How's that going?

Lex Luthor: I terrorize meter maids.

Helen Bryce: Yeah. I drop kick orderlies. It's funny, I was never an angry child.

Clark Kent: Lana, have you seen Chloe?

Lana Lang: She's at the Sheriff Station giving her statement.

Clark Kent: I don't remember ordering a side of hostility.

Lana Lang: I can't believe you accused Ian of murdering Mr Frankel!

Clark Kent: Lana, you have to believe me. I don't know how he did it but he is lying to everyone.

Lana Lang: A boy with secrets. I'm surprised you guys aren't fast friends.

Clark Kent: Don't try to turn this around on me. He's seeing you and Chloe at the same time. He's at her house. She's his alibi!

Lana Lang: Clark, they were finishing up an interview!

Clark Kent: Does Chloe always finish up her interviews by making out with the subjects?

Chloe Sullivan: What really gets me is I should have known better. Only Chloe Sullivan could fall for a guy who splits himself in two. What is it about me? Do I have a sign around my neck that says "Mutant Magnet"?

Skinwalker[edit]

[2.10]

Lionel Luthor: I want you as my partner. Blame it on a brief bout of sentimentality.

Lex Luthor: Sentimentality is synonymous with vulnerability. You taught me that. You're on your own.

Clark Kent: I need to raise bail money for Joseph Willowbrook. He's being set up, I think by LuthorCorp.

Lex Luthor: That's a pretty serious accusation, Clark. Don't get me wrong, I'm impressed by your conviction, but going head to head with my father? You're a little like David trying to slay Goliath.

Clark Kent: Where do you stand?

Lex Luthor: Any culture that's left a legacy that would endure for centuries has earned my respect. I'm afraid it's a losing battle.

Clark Kent: Didn't David beat Goliath?

Lana Lang: Whitney's shared more with me since we broke up than when we were together. What is it with guys and their emotions? The closer you get to them, the more they keep everything in.

Chloe Sullivan: Must be some sort of protective instincts. You know, maybe we should just stop falling for guys who are trying to save the world.

Clark Kent: I have these feelings for Kyla, and I don't want to doubt her, but I'm not sure she's being honest with me.

Jonathan Kent: Well, Clark, not everybody's exactly what they seem. I mean, we should know that better than anybody.

Lionel Luthor: Lex, have I done something in the recent past to offend you?

Lex Luhor: There are so many ways I could answer that question, Dad.

Visage[edit]

[2.11]

Clark Kent: Lex, you've been dating Helen for a while. But nothing you ever told me about her would lead me to believe she's the espionage type.

Lex Luthor: I'm afraid one day you'll learn the frustrating truth, Clark. People are seldom whom they appear to be.

Clark Kent: Did she give you any kind of explanation?

Lex Luthor: Didn't get that far. When she learned that I had her investigated, she turned hostile and stormed out.

Clark Kent: If I knew someone was investigating me, I'd be a little ticked off too.

Lex Luthor: You're telling me my father offered you $100,000 against your will? Why would he do that?

Helen Bryce: I can't even begin to fathom the depths of the Luthor family pathology.

Lex Luthor: You could have been honest. You could have told me.

Helen Bryce: I was about to. But before I could say a word, I realized I was in the middle of an interrogation.

Lex Luthor: Helen, if I had known...

Helen Bryce: No, I'm glad that this happened. It showed me who I was really dealing with. You know, I've done some pretty stupid things in my life, but this could possibly win the Nobel Prize for stupidity. I fell for someone who never really existed.

Martha Kent: Sweetheart, are you all right?

Clark Kent: I just can't help thinking that... Whitney's skin wasn't bulletproof. His bones weren't unbreakable, but he still put himself in harm's way so the world could be safer. I wonder if I didn't have my abilities if I'd have that same kind of courage.

Jonathan Kent: Son, there is no doubt in our minds that you would.

Lex Luthor: From the time I was born, I was raised in an environment of suspicion and distrust. My father taught me to regard everyone as an adversary no matter who they are.

Helen Bryce: I'm really sorry you had to grow up like that, Lex, I am.

Lex Luthor: When my mother died, I began to build a wall around my heart. Every year that wall grew taller and more fortified until eventually it became impenetrable. I want to tear the wall down, Helen, I do. I just- I don't have the slightest clue how to do it.

Helen Bryce: Lex...

Lex Luthor: I never once asked anyone for help, but I'm asking you now. Help me, Helen. I don't want to become my father.

Lana Lang: It seems like every person that I've ever gotten close to just leaves.

Clark Kent: That's not true.

Lana Lang: Yeah, it is. My parents, Nell, now Whitney. I know I haven't been a good friend.

Clark Kent: You've been a great friend.

Lana Lang: No, I have doubted you, accused you of things, and still you're here protecting me. I don't care if you have secrets, Clark. You are the one good, constant thing in my life and I don't want to lose you too.

Clark Kent: I'm not going anywhere.

Insurgence[edit]

[2.12]

Clark Kent: Lex, what's going on?

Lex Luthor: Big Brother is listening, or should I say "Big Daddy"?

Clark Kent: What are you saying, your dad's spying on you?

Lex Luthor: I had the inside track on a multi-million dollar contract. At the last minute, LuthorCorp manages to underbid me. You do the math.

Clark Kent: Lex, you've got to calm down...

Lex Luthor: Don't tell me to calm down, Clark! How would you feel if someone were listening to every private word you uttered, learning all your secrets?

Jonathan Kent: [to Lex] Look, I don't know how things work in your house, but around here, we think it's important to respect other people's privacy.

Clark Kent: Dad...

Lex Luthor: It's all right, Clark... Mr. Kent, ever since the day I moved to Smallville, I've done nothing but try to be a friend to you. And in return, you do nothing but lecture me with sanctimonious platitudes. I'm done listening to them.

Martha Kent: Why don't you just let us go? You can avoid adding kidnapping to the breaking and entering charges!

Lionel Luthor: You should listen to this woman. I find her advice invariably sound.

Lex Luthor: Clark, how did you get inside?

Lionel Luthor: The boy's resourceful, Lex. What difference does it make how he did it? He saved us. That's what's important.

Lex Luthor: Dad. I want you to know I was doing everything I could to secure your release.

Lionel Luthor: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm sure you did a great deal.

Jonathan Kent: Wait. Are you sure that this is the best thing to do? Quit, I mean.

Martha Kent: What do you mean? I thought you'd be happy about it.

Jonathan Kent: If you hadn't been working for Lionel, then we'd have no way of knowing that he was keeping tabs on Clark.

Martha Kent: So, instead of staying away from him...

Jonathan Kent: Maybe we should take a page out of the Luthor playbook.

Suspect[edit]

[2.13]

Dominic Sanatori: You can save the concerned son routine, Lex. I have everything under control.

Lex Luthor: The loyal lapdog sitting watch at his master's door, secretly hoping he doesn't make it?

Dominic Sanatori: As I recall, you almost let him die once. Who's to say you didn't try to finish the job? God knows after yesterday, you'd have enough reason to want him dead.

Lex Luthor: You know what I find so amusing about you, Dominic, is that you actually believe my father is grooming you.

Dominic Sanatori: It's unfortunate that they already have a suspect in custody. I can't think of a person with a better motive for killing your father than you.

Lionel Luthor: If you were really ready to run LexCorp, there's no way I could have taken it from you. Look at this as an opportunity for us to work together again, father and son.

Lex Luthor: When I broke away from you, I swore I'd never be under your thumb again.

Lionel Luthor: It's my hope that you'll stay and rise to the challenge.

Lex Luthor: Your ego wouldn't allow it. I'll fight you on this and I'll win.

Lionel Luthor: You better have something stronger than words to back up those threats, son, because as of this moment you are just another employee.

Lex Luthor: So now you're implying I pulled the trigger?

Clark Kent: It's not like I haven't seen you shoot someone before.

Lex Luthor: Get out of here before you say something you really regret.

Clark Kent: I'm not going anywhere. Not until I get some answers. Are you trying to frame my dad?

Lex Luthor: After all this time, I thought you knew me better than the average tabloid reader.

Clark Kent: If you don't start trusting me with the truth, what else am I supposed to think?

Lex Luthor: Stay out of it, Clark.

Clark Kent: My dad's life is at stake here!

Lex Luthor: So is my father's!

Clark Kent: You grow up with someone, you think you know them, but... I mean, darkness like that just doesn't come out of nowhere... I'm sorry about your company. What's gonna happen next?

Lex Luthor: My father thinks I'll go back to work for him.

Clark Kent: Will you?

Lex Luthor: It's hard to imagine working for a man who can enrage four people to the point where any one of them had motive to kill him.

Clark Kent: Even you.

Lex Luthor: You know that darkness you were talking about? I'm not sure we're born with it. I think people like my father find a way to bring it out.

Lex Luthor: So you took an honest man and destroyed him. And by proxy, almost ruined Jonathan Kent. How does it feel, Dad, knowing you brought this on yourself?

Lionel Luthor: But I didn't, Lex. You did... engineering your ill-advised employee coup.

Lex Luthor: And you actually believe that?

Lionel Luthor: It's all right, son. I forgive you.

Rush[edit]

[2.14]

Chloe Sullivan: My feelings for Clark are so ancient, they're... they're fossilized!

Chloe Sullivan: What are you?

Clark Kent: Let's just say I'm not from around here.

Chloe Sullivan: [to Pete] You knew about this?

Pete Ross: He's my brother... from another planet.

Chloe Sullivan: Can you fly?

Clark Kent: Whoa, wait a minute. I may be an alien, but I'm not a cartoon.

Chloe Sullivan: [to Lex] You know, I always wondered. For a boy who has all the money in the world, you'd think he could afford a good toupee.

[Pete knocks Clark unconscious with Kryptonite]

Chloe Sullivan: Whoa! How'd you do that?

Pete Ross: Clark's Achilles' heel. He may be a boy scout, but I'm always prepared.

Prodigal[edit]

[2.15]

Pete Ross: Working at the Talon... could you be any more obvious?

Clark Kent: What happened to the Pete Ross rule of proximity? "If you wanna get in the game, you've gotta get on the court."

Pete Ross: Clark, Lana would be your boss. She's going to take out all of her pent up frustrations of all the times you've ever let her down. You're not going to be in the game. You're going to be in the locker room cleaning the toilets.

Lucas Luthor: [to Clark] So, you and Lex seem close.

Pete Ross: What, are you kidding? They're like brothers.

Clark Kent: So, Lucas, where did you grow up?

Lucas Luthor: All over.

Pete Ross: Must be kind of weird not knowing your mom or your dad.

Lucas Luthor: No, not really. Parents always try to make you little versions of them selves. When you grow up without those constraints, you're allowed to become your own person.

Clark Kent: It's an interesting theory. I don't think I buy it, though.

Lucas Luthor: All right. Let's take you and Lex, for example. If he were raised by your parents and you were raised by Lionel, you wouldn't grow up to be different people? Trust me, you'd be rich and miserable, and he'd be wearing flannel. But if you were left totally alone, abandoned by your parents, how do you think you'd turn out?

Lex Luthor: I bet a lot of people are out looking for you. Like your friends from Edge City.

Lucas Luthor: Oh, wow, Lex, is that a threat?

Lex Luthor: You know, Lucas, the Luthor gene pool is a shark tank, and our father's just chummed the waters. Good Luck.

Clark Kent: I'm sorry that Lucas didn't turn out to be the brother you wanted.

Lex Luthor: Considering his father, I'm surprised he's still alive at all.

Clark Kent: Where is Lucas now?

Lex Luthor: Safe. But I'm going to have some work to do to regain his trust.

Clark Kent: You will. You're not your father.

Lex Luthor: Sometimes, Clark, we're all held hostage by the will of our fathers. The only difference is, your dad is a good man. All my father does is push people away.

Clark Kent: As long as I live, I don't think I'm ever going to understand your family.

Lex Luthor: Neither will I. Just remember, my father may try and rule the world, but yours will inherit the earth.

Fever[edit]

[2.16]

Chloe Sullivan: Well, this is gonna make quite a story. "Clark Kent ends record-breaking perfect attendance streak." Sorry. I'm doing it again. I just... I've never seen you sick before, and it just got me thinking, you know? What if something did happen to you? And I never got to... [pause] So in yet another classic maneuver to avoid emotional intimacy, I wrote my feelings down so that I could read them to you, thereby eliminating embarrassing eye contact. [reading] "I want to let you in on a secret. I'm not who you think I am. In fact, my disguise is so thin, I'm surprised you haven't seen right through me. I'm the girl of your dreams masquerading as your best friend. Sometimes I want to rip off this façade like I did at the Spring Formal, but I can't because you'll get scared and you'll run away again. So I decided that it's better to live with a lie than expose my true feelings." [stops] This is so much easier when you're unconscious... [continues reading] "My dad told me there are two types of girls. The ones you grow out of and the ones you grow into. I really hope I'm the latter. I may not be the one you love today, but I'll let you go for now, hoping one day you'll fly back to me because I think you're worth the wait."

Clark Kent: I offered Dad a bit of spot welding, but he said it'd only slow him down.

Jonathan Kent: Son, as hard as it is for you to believe, even your abilities are no substitute for a three-quarter inch copper washer.

Clark Kent: Pete, are you sure the ship will be safe in your shed?

Pete Ross: Yeah, we'll put it between the old Betamax and my dad's Pong game. Indiana Jones couldn't find it down there.

Jonathan Kent: Look, I need you to promise me that you won't tell anybody about this, and I mean anybody.

Helen Bryce: Mr. Kent, I take my doctor/patient confidentiality very seriously. But Clark needs proper care.

Jonathan Kent: Doctor, Clark isn't exactly what you'd call a normal boy.

Helen Bryce: I need to get a blood sample.

Jonathan Kent: Listen, Dr. Bryce, you can't do that.

Helen Bryce: Is this some sort of religious thing?

Jonathan Kent: No, I mean literally, you can't do that.

Clark Kent: Is Chloe okay?

Lana Lang: What happened to you really affected her. Me too. It was really hard seeing you sick. Guess I somehow always thought of you as invincible.

Clark Kent: Now you think I'm just human.

Lana Lang: I guess that's my way of saying that you mean a lot to me, Clark. And I know it's not very eloquent... but I guess some people are just better with words than others.

Rosetta[edit]

[2.17]

Clark Kent: What is it?

Virgil Swann: It's a message from the stars, Clark. All my life, I've been staring out into space wondering. Wondering is anybody else out there? And then 13 years ago, I got an answer.

Clark Kent: The day of the meteor shower.

Virgil Swann: One of my receiving stations picked up a faint signal. It took me years to decrypt it. And finally, I discovered a mathematical key that was built into the transmission.

Clark Kent: Can you read it?

Virgil Swann: Yes. It says "This is Kal-El of Krypton. Our infant son, our last hope. Please protect him and deliver him from evil."

Virgil Swann: I've always wondered what happened to that child, if he survived the journey, if he lived among us. And then three days ago, I saw the symbol for Hope burned onto the side of a barn in Smallville, and I found that the farmer and his wife had an adopted son.

Clark Kent: So you think I'm Kal-El? I'm just Clark Kent.

Virgil Swann: No, no, I'm not trying to expose you, Clark. I'm just... I'm just seeking the truth.

Clark Kent: I'm sorry, Doctor. The truth is, I'm not who you think I am.

Virgil Swann: If you can live with that decision, so can I. But if you walk out that door, it'll never be open to you again.

Virgil Swann: That's where Krypton was. I followed the signal's path billions of miles out into space. I was hoping to discover its origin but instead, I found nothing.

Clark Kent: Planets just don't disappear. What do you think happened to it?

Virgil Swann: Oh, it could be any one of a million different scenarios. War, famine, disease. I mean, look at the world around us. Is it really that hard to believe?

Clark Kent: It's a message from my biological father. I'm sure I'm reading it wrong.

Jonathan Kent: Why? What does it say?

Clark Kent: [reading] "On this third planet from this star Sol, you will be a god among men. They are a flawed race. Rule them with strength, my son. That is where your greatness lies." I think I was sent here to conquer. What kind of planet am I from?

Jonathan Kent: Clark Kent, you're here to be a force for good, not a force of evil.

Clark Kent: How can you be so sure?

Jonathan Kent: Because I am your father. I raised you, and I know you better than anyone.

Visitor[edit]

[2.18]

Chloe Sullivan: What are you doing to those poor citrus?

Clark Kent: Well, apparently there's enough acid in them to act as a battery.

Chloe Sullivan: How very "Survivor" of you. What are you going to call it? A Clockwork Orange?

Pete Ross: Don't you wish you were the first one to say that?

Clark Kent: It's like Cyrus is in his own world. He takes teenage alienation to a whole new level.

Lana Lang: Well, we all have our ways of escaping from our lives. I ride, Chloe writes, and you... you do incredibly strenuous farm chores by yourself.

Clark Kent: Well, I guess you know my deepest and darkest secret now.

Clark Kent: You don't think he's really an alien, do you?

Chloe Sullivan: No. But wouldn't it be awesome if he was, though?

Clark Kent: Yeah, it'd be the story of the century, wouldn't it?

Chloe Sullivan: This isn't about Pulitzers, Clark. I mean, can you imagine being from another planet? The experiences you could share?

Clark Kent: It wouldn't freak you out?

Chloe Sullivan: Compared to most people, I think aliens would be a step up.

Lex Luthor: I never figured you for having an identity crisis, Clark.

Clark Kent: It's for a friend.

Lex Luthor: Haven't heard that one before. What's your friend's problem? Napoleon or Messiah complex?

Clark Kent: Actually he thinks he's an alien.

Lex Luthor: So that proves he isn't... come on, Clark, if you were really an alien would you go around telling people about it?

Clark Kent: Probably not.

Lex Luthor: Let me guess. Your friend, he's a little odd. Spends a lot of time alone, thinks no one understands him. I just described myself in high school. It's a classic outsider profile. I'd say he's just trying to get attention. You believe there are aliens among us, Clark?

Chloe Sullivan: Trust me. This kid is more David Blaine than he is Wall of Weird.

Clark Kent: All right, well, that still doesn't explain how he cured Tyson.

Chloe Sullivan: Yeah, I haven't figured that one out yet. But I'd be willing to bet that he faked that one too somehow.

Clark Kent: No, I was there. It was real.

Chloe Sullivan: Okay, well, I'm not discounting the possibility that he may have some magic healing power. But if he does, it's probably byproduct of meteorite poisoning. He is no more extraterrestrial than you are.

Precipice[edit]

[2.19]

Jonathan Kent: Sheriff, we know our son and Clark would never deliberately hurt anybody. I'm sure whatever he did, he did it 'cause he thought he had to.

Sheriff Nancy Adams: By throwing another young man across my police car? I ran a complete check on your son, Mr. Kent. He's been at more crime scenes than Eliot Ness.

Martha Kent: If Clark's been involved with police business, it's only because he was trying to help people.

Sheriff Nancy Adams: Or maybe he's got some kind of hero complex? I mean, even heroes got to play by the rules.

Pete Ross: Clark Kent, convict.

Chloe Sullivan: Yeah, I know, when do you get fit for that orange jump suit? Or is it one size fits all?

Clark Kent: Forty hours of community service is not funny... it's an orange vest.

Chloe Sullivan: Oh, no! It's gonna clash with the plaid!

Pete Ross: Welcome to Smallville, where you stop the crime, you do the time.

Sheriff Nancy Adams: Very pithy. Maybe I should use that as my campaign slogan?

Lex Luthor: Lana, I know what it's like to feel vulnerable.

Lana Lang: You?

Lex Luthor: Trust me. Eccentric bald kids sit pretty low on the prep school totem pole.

Jonathan Kent: You did throw him into that car, Clark.

Clark Kent: Maybe this is where it all starts. Remember what it said in the spaceship? "They're a flawed race. Rule them with strength."

Jonathan Kent: Son, I got into a lot of fights when I was your age too, believe me. But, Clark, these are not alien feelings. What you have to remember under these circumstances is that there are consequences.

Martha Kent: Your father's right. You don't make decisions in a split second that you have to live with for the rest of your life.

Jonathan Kent: Clark, it's true. We are a flawed race, sure. But we're a flawed race that raised you. You're a lot more human than you think.

Lana Lang: Lex has a way of bringing out a side of me that's both scary and liberating at the same time.

Clark Kent: Well, you know the first rule of self defense is to avoid conflict.

Lana Lang: Relax, Clark, I'm not about to go prowling the night fighting crime. I'll leave that to the expert.

Clark Kent: Well, you can trust me, there's no future in fighting crime unless you enjoy being sued.

Witness[edit]

[2.20]

Clark Kent: My article about the debate team. Oh, Chloe, I'm really sorry. I'll give it to you first thing tomorrow morning.

Chloe Sullivan: Well, unfortunately Clark, I needed it tonight. To fill in the hole, I had to blow up the lunch menu to a 60-point type. I'm sure the student body is going to find that fascinating.

Henry Small: I guess some small part of me is still getting used to all this.

Lana Lang: What, dropping by for a casual visit with your daughter?

Henry Small: No, entering a business co-owned by a Luthor without an injunction in my hand.

Clark Kent: What are you doing out of jail?

Eric Marsh: Seems I've got friends in higher places that I didn't even know about. And suddenly, you're not so anonymous.

Clark Kent: I'll testify, if that's what it takes to put you away.

Eric Marsh: Oh no, I'd think about that Kent. I mean, I know you're unbreakable, but people that you care about aren't. I'd sure hate to think something happened to those wholesome parents of yours.

Clark Kent: Dad, look around. Look at what they did to this place. You said yourself I can't protect you. You have to think of Mom. You have to think about the baby.

Jonathan Kent: I am thinking about Mom. I am thinking about the baby. I'm also thinking about you.

Clark Kent: Dad, please! Please.

Jonathan Kent: All right, I'll take your mother to a doctor in Metropolis, and maybe stay with your grandfather for a couple days. Son, I'd feel a whole hell of a lot better if you'd agree to come with us.

Clark Kent: I can't.

Jonathan Kent: Clark, I'm not going to stand here and ask you to do nothing because you and I both know that I would not do nothing. But I want you to remember something son. They have your strength, but they don't have any of your other abilities. You make sure you give yourself a fighting chance.

Chloe Sullivan: I don't understand why the most powerful man in the city is interested in helping me.

Lionel Luthor: We're after the same thing, Miss Sullivan... the truth. You know, journalists are the midwives of history. Perhaps, with my help, we could make history together.

Accelerate[edit]

[2.21]

Clark Kent: If this is the mysterious Lana, I like it. What is this all about?

Lana Lang: Us, kind of. I just wanted to thank you for yesterday. There were a few minutes there when I really thought I might be losing it. But, you never doubted me. Not for a second. You always believe in me. Thanks a lot.

Clark Kent: Lana, what is this all about?

Lana Lang: It's just that sometimes I feel like you've created this perfect picture of who I am.

Clark Kent: That's what I see.

Lana Lang: This might sound silly... but I have this fear that- that one day you'll finally get a good look at me and... I'm going to disappoint you. That you'll see that I'm not as strong or as good as you think I am. And I'm afraid that it'll change the way you feel about me.

Clark Kent: Nothing could ever do that.

Lionel Luthor: I wanted to give you my gift in person, since it's obvious by now that I won't be receiving a wedding invitation.

Lex Luthor: You offered the woman I love a hundred thousand dollars to leave me.

Lionel Luthor: I did you a favor, Lex. That was the ultimate test of loyalty and she passed with flying colors. You should be thanking me.

Lex Luthor: Well, my thank you note must be lost in the mail along with your invitation.

Pete Ross: Clark, couldn't the bone yard visit have waited till after the rain stopped?

Clark Kent: It's the only way to disprove the zombie theory.

Pete Ross: Yeah. Well, if this Emily girl really is a ghost I really don't think she'd appreciate you scoping out her coffin.

Lionel Luthor: I like to think that I treat everyone at LuthorCorp as part of the family.

Lex Luthor: Well, that would explain the lack of loyalty.

Lionel Luthor: All right, Lex, what's the crisis? One minute you want nothing to do with me and then I'm inundated with urgent messages.

Lex Luthor: How does it feel to play God, Dad?

Calling[edit]

[2.22]

Clark Kent: I've been looking through every book from Socrates to Shakespeare trying find some who could put into words the way Lex and Helen feel about each other. But what I realize is, there are no words for it, that when you have it, you trust it, and you believe in it, take a chance on it, you're willing to sacrifice anything to keep it, no matter what the cost.

Lana Lang: If you knew that Lex was keeping secrets from you, but he was being truthful about the important things like, um, like the way he feels about you...would that be enough?

Dr. Helen Bryce: I guess you have to decide. Is the part of themselves they're willing to share with you better than not having them in your life at all?

Lana Lang: Okay. I know it's not your birthday for another seven minutes, but I wanted to surprise you.

Clark Kent: You did.

Lana Lang: I get the feeling it's not in a good way.

Clark Kent: It's just it's not really my birthday. It's just some date that my parents picked off the calendar for the adoption papers.

Lana Lang: Maybe some of us want to celebrate the day you came into our lives.

Clark Kent: I never thought of it that way.

Lionel Luthor: The wall, Doctor. What does it say?

Dr. Frederick Walden: "The last son will rule the planet." Don't you see? It's Clark Kent!

Lex Luthor: I think that's a pretty big leap.

Dr. Frederick Walden: No! I've never seen more clearly in my life. I know exactly what has to be done.

Lionel Luthor: What is that, Doctor?

Dr. Frederick Walden: We have to kill Clark Kent, before he destroys us all.

Clark Kent: I'm going to rule the world? He's obviously nuts.

Lex Luthor: Of course he is. Unfortunately my father was there. He heard the whole thing.

Clark Kent: But he didn't believe him, did he?

Lex Luthor: He quoted one of his favorite Elizabethan poets. "'Twixt truth and madness lies but a sliver of a stream." He's not just gonna let this drop. I thought I'd warn you.

Exodus[edit]

[2.23]

Jor-El: I am Jor-El, your father.

Clark Kent: I thought you died!

Jor-El: I am his memory, his will. I am to fulfill his promise and guide you all the days of your life. You are the last son of Krypton. When you traveled through the cosmos, you carried the hopes and dreams of your people. They now live through you, Kal-El. It is time.

Clark Kent: Time for what?

Jor-El: Time to accept your destiny.

Clark Kent: I don't know what you have in mind for me, but I-

Jor-El: By the setting of the sun Sol, you will return to me. Your destiny will be fulfilled. Your thoughts are not a mystery to me, Kal-El. These people have served their purpose. It is time to leave them.

Clark Kent: Please! Everything and everyone I love is here! In Smallville!

Jor-El: You must let go of your past. I will guide you to your future.

Clark Kent: No, I don't want your guidance! I want to create my own future!

Jor-El: You have no choice, Kal-El.

Martha Kent: Whatever your biological father may have had in mind for you, they're his hopes and dreams, not yours.

Jonathan Kent: Clark, you choose your own destiny. Nobody can decide that for you, son.

Clark Kent: This is my home. And you're my parents. It's where I belong, and I'm not going anywhere

Jor-El: You will obey me, Kal-El.

Clark Kent: You're not my father. I won't let you control me.

Jor-El: You cannot fight it, Kal-El. At the zenith of the star Sol, you will begin your journey. If you do not, you will hurt the ones you love most.

Chloe Sullivan: You were right about Clark. He wasn't who I thought he was. I'm surprised I hadn't noticed earlier. So much for my crack journalistic instinct.

Lionel Luthor: No, no, love has a way of blinding even the sharpest minds. We don't look because we don't want to see. But once love has been stripped away, then we see the real person clearly. They're revealed to us with all their flaws, their foibles, and their secrets.

Clark Kent: Come with me.

Lana Lang: Smallville's my home. It's your home too.

Clark Kent: Not anymore.

Season 3[edit]

Exile[edit]

[3.01]

Morgan Edge: You've made quite a reputation for yourself. I set up this test so I could see with my own eyes if you were man or myth. And clearly, you're both.

Kal: Well, I'm glad I could clear it up for you... Mr. Edge.

Morgan Edge: I'd like to talk about a job opportunity.

Kal: Thanks. But I'm really not looking for work right now. I like to fly solo.

Morgan Edge: No matter how many bullets bounce off you, Kal, you're still a kid, and I'm the biggest crime boss in Metropolis.

Kal: Well, I would think you could afford better help.

Morgan Edge: That's why we're talking. I got this one job. It'll make you Midas rich. So when you are tired of playing the little league, you know where to find me.

Lex Luthor: You killed your father.

Louis Leery: Yeah, it was inevitable. I had to do it. Only one of us could survive. See, back there, he was a rich and powerful guy. He was always criticizing me, never thinking I was good enough. And it just kept chipping away, chipping away till there was nothing left... I thought you and I were kindred spirits.

Lex Luthor: No, Louis. You're a psychopath.

Louis Leery: Well, there's one in all of us. I just let mine out.

Jonathan Kent: Clark, it's me.

Kal: Jonathan. How's the farm?

Jonathan Kent: Clark, your mother and I love you very much and we want you to come home.

Kal: Is that right? Hey, what about not dwelling on the past and making a fresh new start? Come on, you can admit it. You're happier I'm gone.

Jonathan Kent: Son, that's not true.

Kal: I'm not your son! And you're not my parents, you never have been! You never will be!

Lana Lang: Clark, what is the matter with you? Your parents love you! I love you.

Kal: Do you always betray the people you love?

Morgan Edge: I need you to break into a secure building. The office on the 60th floor has a very valuable package. It's in a titanium-reinforced steel safe. Not a job for mere mortals.

Kal: Sounds like easy money.

Morgan Edge: I haven't told you where you're going yet.

Kal: [reads a card] LuthorCorp Plaza. You want me to break into Lionel Luthor's office?

Morgan Edge: Will that be a problem?

Kal: No. It'll be my pleasure.

Jonathan Kent: Hello, Clark.

Kal: Jonathan Kent. Isn't it a little past your bedtime? How'd you find me?

Jonathan Kent: Your biological father.

Kal: You two are working together now, huh? That's cute. But I didn't listen to him and I'm certainly not gonna listen to you.

Phoenix[edit]

[3.02]

Jonathan Kent: You don't realize how dangerous you are when you're wearing that ring!

Clark Kent: It's not the ring. I was born that way. You just can't accept it.

[Jonathan sees the Kryptonian symbol burned on Clarks chest]

Jonathan Kent: What in the hell did Jor-El do to you, Clark?

Clark Kent: He made sure I'd never forget who my real father is.

Lana Lang: You warned me there were things about you that I wouldn't understand. I guess I just didn't want to believe it.

Clark Kent: I was protecting you.

Lana Lang: From what? That's the part I can't figure out because, Clark, the only thing that keeps hurting me is you.

Lex Luthor: It's ironic. In the most remote solitude I still managed to find an enemy. I suppose I was just hallucinating from malaria, but the enemy I found was real. I got a good look at myself, or at least the part I've always tried to ignore.

Clark Kent: Lex, I guess we all got to take a look at our dark side sooner or later.

Lex Luthor: The problem is if you stare at it long enough, it can get hard to tell the two sides apart.

Lana Lang: How could you let everyone worry like that?

Chloe Sullivan: Because the more pressure I put on him, the more he pulled away. I mean, you saw him, Lana. He wasn't exactly the charming flannel king we all know and love. It was like he was a...

Lana Lang: A different person.

Chloe Sullivan: Yeah. Let's face it, Lana. Clark has more issues than "Rolling Stone."

Jonathan Kent: We can't accept this.

Lex Luthor: There's nothing to accept but my gratitude. After the plane went down, I made my way into one of the broken wings. This compass, your wedding present, guided me to safe harbor. The least I can do is help you keep your farm.

Jonathan Kent: We will find a way to pay you back.

Lex Luthor: I'm not worried about that, Mr. Kent. If it's not too presumptuous, I hope you'll just consider me part of the family.

Extinction[edit]

[3.03]

Clark Kent: Look, I know this is gonna sound bizarre, but this kid Van, he's convinced that the meteor rocks in Smallville have altered certain people.

Lex Luthor: What do you mean by altered?

Clark Kent: He thinks they've developed different abilities than the rest of us, and he's hunting them. Lex, he had a hit list. They found it in his cabin, and you're on it.

Lex Luthor: Clark, the only abilities I have are playing the market and falling for the wrong women.

Lex Luthor: I wouldn't worry about it, Dad. I'm insured now.

Lionel Luthor: Not yet. There's some difficulty getting you underwritten by Lloyd's of London.

Lex Luthor: On what grounds?

Lionel Luthor: Your tendency to attract near-death experiences has made you too great a liability.

Lex Luthor: I would think surviving would count for something.

Lana Lang: Clark, I really thought I was going to die.

Clark Kent: You've been through worse.

Lana Lang: Because you've been there to protect me, but I knew you weren't coming this time, so when Van showed up I guess I was just relieved that there were others like you out there.

Clark Kent: He's not like me. You have to see him for what he is. He's a killer. Lana, it's okay to be mad at people who try to hurt you, but it's not fair to take it out on everyone who's been affected by the meteors. It's not their fault. No one asks to be different.

Lana Lang: Life would just be so much better for everybody if the meteor shower never happened.

Lex Luthor: How many times have I come face to face with death and walked away without a scratch? I've practically lost count.

Clark Kent: Weirder things have happened.

Lex Luthor: All this time I thought the reason I survived that Porsche accident was because of you, Clark. Now I'm not so sure. See, I've always tried to explain everything by looking outside myself. But maybe the truth lies inside my own physiology. Maybe I am a freak.

Lana Lang: What I don't understand is you're willing to walk into bullets for me, but you won't share what's going on inside. Clark, if you don't open up to the people that love you, you'll always be alone. I can't believe you want to spend your life like that.

Clark Kent: I may not have a choice.

Lana Lang: You always have a choice.

Slumber[edit]

[3.04]

Clark Kent: Pete, did you see that guy?

Pete Ross: What guy?

Clark Kent: How could you miss him? He had a big red cape on!

Chloe Sullivan: There is a theory that telepathic receptivity is increased during REM sleep. It has to do with frontal lobe activity... I've never seen a case this dramatic, but we all know that your brain is wired a little differently than the rest of ours. Add that the river where she crashed is a known source for our favorite green stuff and you have the perfect Smallville cocktail for weirdness.

Lex Luthor: Interesting theory, Clark.

Clark Kent: I know it sounds crazy, but that's what happened.

Lex Luthor: Now you're saving people in your dreams, too. I bet a shrink would have a field day with that scenario.

Lex Luthor: Legend has it this sword was forged in the fires of Mount Fuji. The blade can cut through anything. The Katai never took it into battle. They never had to, till the day the strongest Katai turned on his own. One by one, the Katai fell at his hand. Nothing left to lose, the last of the Katai lunged at the warrior with this sword. The blade cut him clean in two. But when the warrior's armor fell away, the Katai saw he wasn't even human. [Lex strikes Clark with the sword, shattering it] Just like you, Clark. See, I've always been honest with you. But it turns out you've been lying to me from the first day I laid eyes on you.

Clark Kent: No, Lex, I can explain!

Lex Luthor: It's too late! The irony is all you had to do was come to me, Clark. I was your friend. I would've protected your secret. I would've protected you. But I couldn't be trusted because I'm a Luthor.

Clark Kent: No, that's not it!

Lex Luthor: I don't care! I'm going to dedicate myself to ensuring the whole world knows who Clark Kent really is. Life as you know it is over.

Lana Lang: Well, it's been like an oven outside, so I was thinking we could go swimming at Crater Lake.

Clark Kent: Yeah... I really don't think skinny-dipping is a good idea.

Lana Lang: Who said anything about skinny-dipping? Maybe in your dreams, Clark.

Perry[edit]

[3.05]

Clark Kent: According to NASA the sun took a direct hit from a comet today, causing one of the biggest solar flares ever to be recorded.

Martha: Oh, you sound intrigued.

Clark Kent: Actually it's a relief to be researching a cosmic disaster that has nothing to do with me.

Perry White: I finally found my story.

Clark Kent: For some insane reason, it's me. Chloe told me. I don't think it's funny.

Perry White: Oh, it's not a joke, Clark. I got the facts to back it up.

Clark Kent: What kind of facts are those?

Perry White: The accident, the power lines, your magical appearance as your family tractor drops out of the sky.

Clark Kent: I explained that.

Perry White: "It fell off a truck." That's not an explanation, that's a punch line. I spent the morning combing through police records and newspaper stories. You're Johnny on the Spot, Clark. You're Smallville's own hero on deck.

Clark Kent: Trust me, Mr. White, there's nothing special about me.

Perry White: Oh, that's where you're wrong, kid. So far I got you pegged as really strong and shock-resistant. The question is, what other tricks have you got up your sleeve?

Clark Kent: Mr. White, don't do this.

Perry White: See, the way I figure it, you're strong, you're shockproof, you're incredibly fast. Plus you're cursed with this hero complex.

Clark Kent: Yeah, why don't you come back down on the deck and we'll talk about that.

Perry White: No. Not till I have my story.

Clark Kent: Wait, Mr. White? Look, you're wrong about me.

Perry White: I'm betting you'll save me, Clark.

Perry White: Thanks again for the ride.

Clark Kent: It's the only way I could be sure you'd get on the bus.

Perry White: You really are kind of a freak, you know that?

Clark Kent: Mr. White...

Perry White: I'm serious. You try to help people, even fools like me, and you never ask for anything in return. When I saw your face up there after it was all over, I suddenly realized I was about to tear down a good person. I just couldn't believe there was actually anyone like you out there.

Clark Kent: Trust me, Mr. White, I'm not that good.

Clark Kent: Something tells me the world hasn't seen the last of Perry White.

Perry White: Something tells me you're right. Rumor has it I still have a friend or two on the Daily Planet. Oh, by the way, I went over a couple more of your Torch stories.

Clark Kent: And?

Perry White: Well, they're rough, and half the time you buried the lead, but I see a glimmer of hope. If you ever make it to Metropolis, look me up. I owe you one.

Relic[edit]

[3.06]

Lana Lang: Why would he lie to me? It's not like he's gonna get the last 40 years of his life back.

Clark Kent: Lana, convicted murderers spend half their day trying to convince people they're innocent.

Lana Lang: Clark, that drawing looks exactly like you. So unless Dexter could've predicted the future, there's a pretty good chance that drifter was real. It could've been your grandfather. Even your father.

Clark Kent: That's impossible.

Lana Lang: Why? You must've come from somewhere. It's not like you just fell out of the sky.

Clark Kent: Since when can you take police records out of City Hall?

Chloe Sullivan: Since I caught the clerk and his girlfriend playing cops and robbers while on the job.

Lex Luthor: So you took the liberty of rewriting our family history?

Lionel Luthor: That's right. Why should I have to pay for the sins of my father?

Lex Luthor: Sounds familiar.

Jor-El: (about Krypton) When I said I wasn't from here, I wasn't talking about Smallville. Where I'm from we have colors that you've never seen. Our moons are so close they fill up half the sky. We have sunsets that last for hours.

Clark Kent: I think Jor-El was sent here as some kind of rite of passage. Grandpa Kent was down here too. He told Joe that if there was anything he needed...

Jonathan Kent: What is it, Clark?

Clark Kent: I don't think you and Mom found me by accident... I think you were chosen.

Magnetic[edit]

[3.07]

Chloe Sullivan: The American version of closure. You can only get over your grief when you figure out how to merchandise your tragedy.

Jonathan Kent: Oh, something must be wrong if he stuck his head in the refrigerator and didn't eat the last piece of cherry pie.

Clark Kent: It's nothing. It's just Lana. Seth Nelson asked her out.

Martha Kent: What did she say?

Clark Kent: She said yes so fast it gave me whiplash.

Jonathan Kent: Look, Clark, jealousy is a tough emotion.

Clark Kent: Dad, I'm not jealous!

Jonathan Kent: Ah...

Clark Kent: Well, maybe a little bit.

Chloe Sullivan: Finally. I didn't think you were gonna show. Not that Clark Kent ever operates on the same speed as the rest of the world.

Chloe Sullivan: You're a Luthor, so it's a given that you're unscrupulous, but I really thought that petty larceny was beneath you, Lex.

Lex Luthor: Can you be a little more specific with the charge?

Chloe Sullivan: I caught some creep in my office trying steal one of my computers. I figured either you or your father hired him.

Lex Luthor: But you're accusing me.

Chloe Sullivan: You're what they euphemistically call the lesser of two evils.

Lex Luthor: I admire your take-charge attitude. Barging in here and accusing me took guts... or sheer stupidity.

Chloe Sullivan: How did he die?

Lex Luthor: Natural causes. Apparently his heart just gave out.

Chloe Sullivan: And you believe that?

Lex Luthor: Given what he was looking into, I doubt there was anything natural about his death.

Chloe Sullivan: How do I know you're not just playing me here?

Lex Luthor: [sarcastic] You're right, Chloe. I could be. I often bring high school girls to the morgue to show them what happens when trained professionals cross my father.

Chloe Sullivan: Well, there's nothing in my files worth killing for.

Lex Luthor: We've got a corpse here that says you're wrong.

Shattered[edit]

[3.08]

Lionel Luthor: How did you get in here, Lex?

Lex Luthor: Well, when people think you're insane and you're holding a rifle to their head, they, uh, tend to do what you ask.

Lex Luthor: You know what disappoints me, Dad?

Lionel Luthor: All right, tell me.

Lex Luthor: You hired pros to kill me. You always taught me, "If you want something done right, son, do it yourself!"

Morgan Edge: If we'd done it my way, you'd be dead by now.

Lex Luthor: What are you talking about?

Morgan Edge: You really believe you could have escaped if I wanted to kill you? It was your father's idea to make you look crazy instead.

Lex Luthor: You're lying!

Morgan Edge: It's true, Lex. Lionel's gone soft in his old age. He was willing to lose his parents, but he said he couldn't bear to lose another child.

Clark Kent: Thank you.

Lex Luthor: Don't thank me, Clark. You're part of this. I have to kill you too.

Lionel Luthor: You know, I was never quite sure which of them was more out of touch with reality — Don Quixote, jousting with imaginary enemies, or his loyal lackey Sancho Panza, indulging his master's fantasies in spite of the danger to everyone else.

Asylum[edit]

[3.09]

Adam Knight: I think you're getting off way too easily.

Lana Lang: Excuse me?

Adam Knight: You have to learn to push through the pain. If we all sat down every time it hurt, this country never would've been built.

Lana Lang: Well, I doubt the founding fathers broke their legs in four places.

Adam Knight: What happened, bad pileup at cheerleading practice?

Lionel Luthor: When your attempt to escape failed, you sabotaged my efforts to have you released, to be cared for at home.

Lex Luthor: But I told you. I'm cured. A cured patient doesn't belong in a hospital.

Lionel Luthor: Oh, it's painful to see you like this. You know I have your best interest at heart, don't you?

Lex Luthor: The only interest you have... is staying out of prison. I'm not insane, and you know it.

Lionel Luthor: It's sad to see a man who's lost his mind. But it's tragic when he's convinced himself that he's sane.

Clark Kent: How is Lana?

Chloe Sullivan: It's been really tough. She could use some moral support.

Clark Kent: I sent her a card.

Chloe Sullivan: Nothing says "I love you" more than a $1.50 piece of cardboard.

Pete Ross: Clark, he knows your secret.

Clark Kent: I can't let him turn Lex into a vegetable just for that.

Pete Ross: You can't trust him.

Clark Kent: And you've never given him a chance.

Pete Ross: And you give him too many. You think it's easy keeping a lid on your secret? I've got to think about it every time we're around other people to make sure I don't slip. I've got to remember to say "meteor rock" instead of "kryptonite." And I always got to cover your unexplained exits.

Clark Kent: Pete, I'm sorry. You've never said anything.

Pete Ross: Clark, that's not the point. The point is that I got your back. But Lex won't.

Eric Summers: Welcome back to being normal, Clark. Kind of sucks, doesn't it?

Whisper[edit]

[3.10]

Lana Lang: One thing I learned from my accident is that you can't go through something like this alone.

Clark Kent: Lana, just because I'm blind doesn't mean the issues between us have disappeared. This doesn't change anything.

Lana Lang: I was just offering a helping hand, Clark. But I won't make that mistake again.

Pete Ross: Whoever said absence makes the heart grow fonder obviously hasn't met the two of you.

Chloe Sullivan: Mr. Luthor, what's this about?

Lionel Luthor: We had what I assumed was a private conversation, but imagine my surprise to have Lex throw my very own words right back in my face. You led me to believe, Miss Sullivan, that, uh, you were no longer in communication with Lex.

Chloe Sullivan: Well, I'm not. But thank you for the wildly offensive insinuation. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm on a deadline.

Lionel Luthor: Not anymore. Your column at the Daily Planet's been cancelled.

Chloe Sullivan: What?

Lionel Luthor: All right, all right. Here's the deal. You tell me everything you fed to Lex, I'll let things stand.

Chloe Sullivan: I told you I'm not Lex's source. And while I'm sure you could kill my column, this is not the only piece I'm working on for the Daily Planet. I know I could interest them in a story about an eccentric billionaire with an obsessive interest in a Kansas farm boy.

Lionel Luthor: You threatening me? I'd be careful, Miss Sullivan. Very careful.

Chloe Sullivan: I'll be whatever I want. Apparently, I don't work for you anymore.

Chloe Sullivan: Believe it or not, Clark, I was trying to help you.

Clark Kent: Oh, by spying on me.

Chloe Sullivan: No, by just trying to understand why he's so intrigued with you.

Clark Kent: And if the Torch got a few new computers and you made a name for yourself at the Daily Planet, that was okay too. For all the times you accused me of keeping secrets, how could you do this to me?!

Chloe Sullivan: He just... he caught me at an especially bad time. And I caved. I've been trying to get out of it ever since, but when people like Lionel Luthor have you, they don't want to let go. You know, I thought that you out of all people would understand making a stupid decision in a moment of weakness. But I guess I was wrong.

Pete Ross: Clark. Your parents are ready to start gluing your picture to milk cartons. How'd you get out here, anyhow?

Clark Kent: I walked. Turns out I do know every inch of this farm. I really didn't mean to scare them, but I couldn't take all the noise.

Pete Ross: So your mega-hearing thing's back.

Clark Kent: Suddenly I'm the ultimate eavesdropper.

Pete Ross: You know, what can I say? Chicks dig a hero.

Clark Kent: Uh-huh.

Pete Ross: Hope you don't mind I'm bending the truth a little bit.

Clark Kent: Pete, look who you're talking to. The master truth-bender.

Delete[edit]

[3.11]

Clark Kent: You're not the same person you used to be.

Chloe Sullivan: Kind of like if I moved to Metropolis and became a motorcycle-riding party animal and told you to get out of my life. Kind of like that, right?

Chloe Sullivan: Well, I obviously didn't know what I was getting myself into. Just seems to be a nasty habit that I've picked up lately.

Lex Luthor: I'm starting to get a complex. It seems all the women I find even remotely appealing turn out to be psychopaths.

Molly Griggs: Birds of a feather.

Molly Griggs: You don't understand. You don't know what it's like to be so different, to see things other kids can't see, to feel and to think about things they can't even imagine.

Clark Kent: Molly, Garner's not helping you.

Molly Griggs: He made me feel normal, and I never thought that could happen. Now, if someone gave you that chance, wouldn't you protect them, too?

Lana Lang: Freaky Ninja Girls and all!

Lana Lang: What do you think?

Adam Knight: I think Norman Bates would be right at home here.

Hereafter[edit]

[3.12]

Jordan Cross: I had a vision of you too when you grabbed me in the hallway.

Clark Kent: What do you mean? What'd you see?

Jordan Cross: Like you don't have an end like other people. It's like you live forever.

Lana Lang: Jordan, I brought your homework.

Clark Kent: [to Jordan] Why do I get the feeling you've replaced me as your mentor?

Lana Lang: I've offered to help Jordan get back on his feet, and he is going to help me become faster on mine.

Clark Kent: I think you're getting the hang of this high school thing.

Martha Kent: You're awfully quiet today.

Clark Kent: Having someone tell you you can change destiny is a lot to handle.

Martha Kent: Clark, what's this really about?

Clark Kent: I'm just wondering if that's why I was really sent here. To change destiny. What if I make a wrong choice and I'm not there to make it right?

Martha Kent: It's a huge responsibility. You have to concentrate on the good that you do. Think of all the people you've saved. Your dad and me and Lex. He's turned out to be a really good friend. Sweetheart, you just have to do the best you can. You can't save everybody.

Lex Luthor: They say music hath charms to sooth the savage breast.

Adam Knight: Don't count on it.

Velocity[edit]

[3.13]

Pete Ross: I'm okay at hoops. I'm a decent photographer. But you saw that crowd last night. You heard them chanting my name. And for once in my life, I finally get to feel what you feel like every single day. I get to feel special.

Clark Kent: Pete, I'm not special. I'm different.

Pete Ross: Clark, who do you think you're kidding? You can do things that I could never even dream of. And ever since we were kids, even before I knew your secret, I've always been walking in your shadow.

Clark Kent: Pete, that's not true.

Pete Ross: Clark, don't get me wrong. It's not a bad place to be. But I'm growing up. I'm realizing that I got my own talents.

Clark Kent: Everything's taken care of. What you need to concentrate on is feeling better and your checkers strategy, not necessarily in that order.

Jonathan Kent: Clark, you've been here every night. Why don't you go out with your friends, have some fun.

Clark Kent: Why would I go out with my friends when I can beat my dad at checkers?

Sheriff Nancy Adams: Good work, Mr. Kent. It only took eight deputies and four cruisers to discover that that barn was as clean as my grandma's pantry.

Clark Kent: That couldn't be. I saw those license plates.

Sheriff Nancy Adams: The only plates in that barn were the ones in the kitchen sink. And none of the cars in there had VIN numbers even remotely similar to the ones you gave me.

Clark Kent: Sheriff, that's impossible.

Sheriff Nancy Adams: As usual, Mr. Kent, your information is about as accurate as the local weatherman. But I'm cutting you some slack this time because I've had my eye on Jason Dante for a while now, and he is one slippery fish. Next time you say there's a storm a-brewing, Mr. Kent, I better see some rain.

Clark Kent: Lex, you've done so much already, but I need a big favor.

Lex Luthor: Name it.

Clark Kent: I need $20,000 dollars, cash.

Lex Luthor: You're right. That is big. You mind telling me what it's for?

Clark Kent: My friend got mixed up with the wrong crowd, and now they're making him pay for it.

Lex Luthor: Is this the old proverbial friend who happens to be you?

Jonathan Kent: In the world, things aren't always black and white. Sometimes you gotta wander out into the gray areas and do what you think is best.

Obsession[edit]

[3.14]

Lionel Luthor: [to a class] Now, you're all here to learn something about business. The most important element in anything to do with economic theory is the individual. Yes, you. Traditional rules, supply and demand-they're secondary. But to rise above those rules, to know when to break them, requires absolute personal commitment. I consider it a prerequisite for success.

Chloe Sullivan: [to Clark, quietly] And I consider it despicable, immoral, and possibly illegal.

Chloe Sullivan: What do you say we make a break for the fire escape?

Clark Kent: I could crawl down all 39 stories if this fieldtrip didn't count toward our final grade.

Chloe Sullivan: Welcome to the Lionel Luthor exhibit. Next floor: Victims, sycophants, and hatchet men.

Clark Kent: She's gone.

Jonathan Kent: What did she do, Clark, climb out the window?

Clark Kent: Actually, she teleported.

Jonathan Kent: You're gonna have to run that by me one more time.

Clark Kent: I just think that maybe we need to set some boundaries. You know, maybe some limitations.

Alicia Baker: We're special, Clark. People like us don't need boundaries and limitations.

Lex Luthor: You go on one date with this girl, and already she's sneaking into your bedroom, putting sexy pictures of herself in your locker, and practically asking your parents to book the wedding chapel. What's your secret, Clark?

Resurrection[edit]

[3.15]

Clark Kent: You know, I always thought of my dad as a man of steel. I guess I was wrong.

Lex Luthor: My father's been strangely stubborn about liquidating that property. Every market indicator says to sell, but he insists the neighborhood's about to be revitalized.

Chloe Sullivan: The only thing being revitalized in that neighborhood is the graffiti.

Lex Luthor: Chloe, I think I should take it from here.

Chloe Sullivan: Lex, I'm perfectly capable-

Lex Sullivan: This has nothing to do with your capability. I'm worried about your safety. When my father's involved with covert research, people tend to get hurt.

Clark Kent: Dad, when that serum got close to the kryptonite bomb, it reacted the same way as my blood.

Martha Kent: So you're saying the serum...

Clark Kent: I know. It sounds crazy, but I think that Lionel Luthor has found a way to use my blood to bring people back to life. If my blood can save lives, maybe I should come forward. What if there's something inside me that can repair dad's heart permanently?

Jonathan Kent: Clark, your mother and I both know that you are gonna save a lot of lives in this world, even more than you have any idea.

Clark Kent: The only life I'm interested in saving is yours.

Jonathan Kent: You do. You save my life every day that you're with us. And we wouldn't trade that for a single moment without you.

Lana Lang: I should've said something about Adam sooner. I feel so guilty.

Clark Kent: None of this was your fault.

Lana Lang: Still, I let him threaten me into silence.

Clark Kent: Because you knew it would put people in danger. I understand keeping secrets for that reason.

Crisis[edit]

[3.16]

Clark Kent: Pete, I think it's great that you spend so much time volunteering here.

Pete Ross: Well, someone's always been there for me when I've been in trouble. Seems like a good way to give something back.

Pretty Girl: [flirty] Hi, Pete.

Clark Kent: And to hone your sensitive guy skills.

Clark Kent: We think it's some sort of a prank, Sheriff.

Sheriff Nancy Adams: You know, usually these situations originate a little closer to home than you'd expect. Any reason you might want to goose these boys with a little crank call, Miss Lang?

Clark Kent: Lana didn't have anything to do with this.

Sheriff Nancy Adams: You know, unless Miss Lang has grown several inches and developed an affinity for plaid, this would be a good time for you to pipe down.

Chloe Sullivan: Clark, how did you hear that?

Clark Kent: I guess I missed too many Linkin Park concerts.

Lex Luthor: Tell the cops to drop the charges and give me immunity, and I'll give you the biggest arrest of your career.

FBI Agent Frank Loder: What are we talking about?

Lex Luthor: I'll help you bring down my father.

Lana Lang: Clark, there's still something I don't understand. How did you get from the hotline to the storage unit in a split second?

Clark Kent: It took me more than a few seconds... maybe it had something to do with the weird time anomaly. You know, there's something that I don't understand either. Why did you call the hotline instead of the police?

Lana Lang: Because I knew you'd be there.

Legacy[edit]

[3.17]

Lex Luthor: You know, Dad, they say mental illness is hereditary. I'm willing to accept my break with reality. Are you?

Lionel Luthor: Oh, Lex, men of vision have so often been mocked. Galileo knew it was the earth that orbited the sun, and he was sentenced to death for that discovery.

Lex Luthor: Where's the Inquisition when you need it?

Jonathan Kent: How'd you know to find me out here?

Clark Kent: When I'm searching for answers, I turn to my dad. I guess it runs in the family.

Jonathan Kent: Your grandfather was the stubbornest man I ever knew. And believe me, Clark, I wasn't nearly the son you are. My mother used to say that he and I were like watching two sides of the same coin duking it out. And I see the way you and Jor-El fight and I wonder if maybe fathers and sons were the same on Krypton.

Clark Kent: Except he's not my father. You are.

Jonathan Kent: Yeah... I am your father who turns his back on you when you need him the most. I am your father who forces you to run away. My father never would've done that.

Lex Luthor: Look, I'm afraid I'm a little jaded in the romance department. The only thing I know about relationships is that someone usually winds up getting hurt.

Lana Lang: And you don't think I can trust Clark to not do that.

Lex Luthor: I don't think it's about trust. It's like the German poet Rilke said, "A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them. They're who they've been throughout your whole relationship."

Dr. Virgil Swann: Fathers often want futures that their sons reject. That struggle is as old as the human race.

Clark Kent: Except I'm not human.

Dr. Virgil Swann: Humanity is not only about biology.

Jonathan Kent: This is your last warning. Stay away from my son.

Lionel Luthor: If you'd raised your son the way I raised mine, maybe you wouldn't have to protect him. You know, weakness isn't something you're born with. You learn it. And Clark learned his from you.

Truth[edit]

[3.18]

Clark Kent: You broke into the LuthorCorp plant the other night, didn't you? Something happened?

Chloe Sullivan: Wow. There may be some journalistic genes behind those baby blues after all.

Clark Kent: Chloe, for some reason, people are telling you things they don't want you to know, and it's not a joke.

Chloe Sullivan: No. But it is every reporter's dream.

Chloe Sullivan: My God, Clark, this is amazing! Can you imagine the kinds of stories I could break? I mean, I could crack the mystery that is Clark Kent! [pause] What do you keep hiding from me?

Clark Kent: I can't believe you just asked me that.

Chloe Sullivan: And you didn't answer. Everyone else would have. What are you so afraid of? That I'll get behind that armor and finally uncover your secret?

Chloe Sullivan: I do know that because of you, my dad can't get a job. So why would I help you?

Lex Luthor: Because my father's the one who ordered his dismissal. You know that's the truth, don't you?

Chloe Sullivan: Meaning that my family's future is just one chess move in the endless game of one-upmanship played by you and your dad.

Lex Luthor: It's not a game, Chloe. You're the only one who can get me the truth.

Chloe Sullivan: Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Why can't you just walk away from your father?

Lex Luthor: Because he won't give me the only thing I've ever wanted from him.

Chloe Sullivan: And that would be?

Lex Luthor: I want him to love me.

Lionel Luthor: I'm impressed but unfortunately, I don't respond to blackmail. But you know, this isn't what's going to get your father's job back.

Chloe Sullivan: Then what would?

Lionel Luthor: Information from an especially intransigent source.

Chloe Sullivan: Does this source have a name?

Lionel Luthor: Two, actually. Jonathan and Martha Kent. But you need only ask one question.

Chloe Sullivan: Why would I ever do that?

Lionel Luthor: Because I know that you have a special place in your heart for their son, and it's killing you that he's hiding something from you. And we both know that this may be the only opportunity you'll ever have to find out what that is.

Chloe Sullivan: And what exactly is it that you want to know?

Lionel Luthor: Where did Clark Kent come from?

Chloe Sullivan: When you found me on the bridge, I was on my way here. I was gonna ask your parents all the questions you would never answer... look, I know "I'm sorry" has become a recurring motif in our relationship, but-

Clark Kent: No, Chloe, look, I appreciate your honesty, but you weren't yourself.

Chloe Sullivan: I really wish I could believe that. But there have been so many times when my curiosity has gotten the best of me. Maybe this is just who I am.

Clark Kent: No. You're going after the truth. Chloe, there's nothing wrong with that.

Chloe Sullivan: Unless it hurts the people you care most about. I'm just afraid that one day I'm gonna push too hard, and I'm not gonna get the chance to say I'm sorry.

Clark Kent: Today's not that day.

Memoria[edit]

[3.19]

Martha: [Concerned] You've hardly said anything about what happened at Summerholt.

Clark: [Distracted] Don't worry Mom, my secret is still safe.

Martha: Well, let me know if you want to talk about it.

[Martha goes to leave]

Clark: Lara.

[Martha stops, she looks back at Clark]

Clark: That was my biological mother's real name. She was my earliest memory. She sounded so scared. Her only fear was that nobody would love me.

Martha: I can't imagine the feeling of sending my baby in a lifeboat across the stars.

Clark: Because of Jor-El, I always thought that my biological parents were monsters. But she wasn't... I just can't believe I forgot about her.

Martha: [Comforting] You didn't, Clark; your first word was "Lara". Your father and I could never figure out what it meant, but now we know.

Clark: I wish she could have met you, to see what a great mom I have.

Martha: She knows, Clark. A mother's love never dies.

[They embrace]

Lex: Lana told you about my nocturnal adventure, didn't she? I can see I spooked her. That usually sends her running to you.

Clark: Are you okay?

Lex: Well, I haven't lost my mind, Clark, if that's what you mean. I just indulged in a little harmless sleepwalking, that's all.

Clark: Lex, you were on a ledge yelling Julian's name. You could've killed yourself.

Lex: You know, when I found you asleep in the middle of Route 8 last year, I don't remember questioning your mental health.

Clark: I hadn't just spent seven weeks at Belle Reve.

Lex: According to my doctors I'm cured. But apparently, a clean bill of health isn't good enough for Clark Kent.

Lex: Summerholt is a highly respected institution.

Lionel: Respected? Lex, this Garner character operates on the outer fringes of accepted science.

Lex: Well, then you should feel right at home.

Lillian: I don't want to hold him.

Lionel: Lillian, it's unnatural for a mother not to want to bond with her child. Please... I will not let you inflict psychological scars on my children.

Lillian: That's why they have you, Lionel.

Lex: I told you to let it go, but you kept pursuing it. You even involved my father.

Clark: Yeah, well, believe me, Lex. He's the last person I'd ask for help, but I didn't have any other options.

Lex: He betrayed you, Clark. He stopped my sessions with Garner by offering you up as a lab rat. I've tried to keep my father away from you, but he's obsessed. If I'd got back those seven weeks, I could've finally stopped him.

Clark: Maybe, Lex. Or maybe you'd make it worse. You're always telling me how you don't want to turn into your father, and I truly believe that. But the more you two go at each other, the more like him you become. And the more people get hurt.

Lex: I will never become my father. I would never sacrifice you or anybody I cared about to bring him down.

Clark: Lex... why does your father hate you so much?

Talisman[edit]

[3.20]

Pete: [on the phone] Why won't you listen to me? I told you I don't want to talk about it!

Chloe: Note to self: Forward all telemarketing calls to Pete.

Clark: Did you do this?

Lex: What possible reason would I have to ransack the office of an obscure teaching assistant?

Clark: Then tell me why you're here.

Lex: You first.

Clark: Jeremiah was gonna help me with a term paper.

Lex: Term paper. So your visit doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he went ballistic in the caves last night and absconded with a sacred Kawatche artifact.

Clark: I didn't know.

Lex: I'm surprised. I mean, you usually keep such a close eye on everything that happens in the caves... for those term papers you're always writing.

Clark: I know you want to believe it, but I'm not your savior. I mean, did you ever think that Jeremiah really is Naman? He has all the abilities foretold in the prophecy, and he's gonna try and kill Segeeth.

Willowbrook: True. But he did not fall from the sky in a rain of fire. Jeremiah's desperate to be someone he's not. And you are desperate not be someone you are.

Clark: Professor, I may be confused about who I am, but one thing I'm not is a killer.

Willowbrook: You'd be surprised what you're capable of when the time comes.

Clark: It also means the prophecy came true. The blade glowed and disintegrated when they touched it, which means either Lionel or Lex is my greatest enemy.

Martha: Did you see which one grabbed it first?

Clark: No. But I don't need a blade to tell me that Lionel Luthor is a bad person.

Martha: If you're going to believe this legend, you have to face the possibility that it could be Lex.

Clark: I'm not ready to do that.

Jonathan: Clark, the Kawatche think that you're a savior. Jor-El wants you to be a conqueror. Now, knife or not, you can't let other people tell you what to be.

Clark: Who do you think I'll become?

Jonathan: I don't know. You can be the world's greatest hero or its most mild-mannered citizen, but the only person who can write your story, is you.

Forsaken[edit]

[3.21]

Clark: You sound like Lex. He thinks I'm the reason Lana's leaving.

Pete: Well, I hate to agree with Uncle Fester, but I don't think Lana's going to Paris just to see the Mona Lisa.

Lana: Emily, you can't just force someone to be your friend. It's something that happens over time when you trust each other.

Emily: I know what a friend is. A friend is someone who would stand up for you and protect you. A friend is someone who would jump in a river to save you from drowning, even if it meant they had to give up their own life for you. You don't need to tell me what it means to be a friend.

Lana: Then you know that a friend would never keep me locked up in here.

Emily: Get used to it. I did.

Clark: What happened to you?

Pete: FBI agent decided to go off payroll, wanted to know about you. Don't worry, I didn't tell him anything.

Clark: I should have been there.

Pete: That's just it. You can't always be there. I gotta look out for myself. I just thought you should know they're onto you.

Clark: Thanks for the warning.

Pete: Clark, the FBI isn't who I'm really warning you about. Lex was there. He's the one who pulled the Fed off me.

Clark: He's investigating his father, not me.

Pete: That doesn't matter. He knows. Now, I'm not exactly sure how much, but he's not gonna stop until he's got everything. Clark you've got to keep an eye on him. Look out for yourself.

Pete: I'm moving to Wichita with my mom.

Clark: No, Pete. I thought that... What about senior year? Pete, you can't do this because of me.

Pete: I know that I told you keeping your secret wasn't hard. But I lied. I walk around every day afraid that I'm gonna slip up.

Clark: Well, why didn't you tell me sooner?

Pete: Because you needed a friend. And so did I.

Clark: You don't have to move away. You don't have to change your whole life. There's got to be a way. No one even has to know we're friends.

Pete: There's a lot of things that I can handle. But I could never live with myself if I betrayed you.

Lionel: "Forgive them for they know not what they do." Is that what you expect from me? Forgiveness?

Lex: Don't try to make me out as your own personal Judas. I didn't come here for forgiveness. I came here to congratulate you on sweeping another mishap under the rug. Emily Dinsmore.

Lionel: Ah, yes, Emily Dinsmore. I should've remembered. You should've warned them. Belle Reve has a habit of misplacing its patients. The details. I've always tried to teach you, Lex. The devil is in the details. If you don't pay attention to the details, he'll win.

Lex: Then it's a good thing I'm a fast learner. You went through all the trouble of having your own son committed to an asylum and shooting 600 volts of electricity through his body just to cover up your trespasses, but like I said, Dad, you've gotten careless.

Covenant[edit]

[3.22]

Lex: You knew all along my father murdered his parents, didn't you? And you never told me... I always assumed there was a tacit agreement among friends to share that kind of information with each other.

Clark: Not when it can get your friend killed. Lex, your father threw you into a mental institution and fried your brain. If you found that out all over again, I thought he might kill you, and I couldn't live with that.

Lex: You're a good friend, Clark. If you tell the judge what you just told me, my father will be exchanging his Armani for an orange jumpsuit.

Kara: [to Jonathan] Tell Kal-El what you did.

Clark: What kind of deal did you make, Dad?

Jonathan: I promised Jor-El that if he gave me the power to bring you back from Metropolis, that one day I would return you to him.

Martha: Jonathan, you didn't do that...

Jonathan: Martha, I had no idea it was going to be this soon.

Kara: I told you, Kal-El. They'll always betray you. Even the man you call your father.

Martha: She killed a man, Jonathan. We have to call the sheriff.

Jonathan: What are we gonna tell the sheriff, sweetheart, that a Kryptonian girl vaporized a federal agent?

Kara: Come with me, Kal-El. Come home.

Clark: This is my home.

Kara: I know it seems that way. But sooner or later, everyone you know here will lie, betray, or leave you.

Clark: No matter what you say, I'll never go with you.

Lex: There's so much of my own life I can't explain. I've survived countless brushes with death, and it all started with this car crash. If I'm guilty of anything, it's that I've inherited my father's eccentric curiosity for the unexplained.

Clark: You've inherited his dishonesty.

Lex: Clark, look me in the eye and tell me you don't have any hidden places of your own where you keep your deep, dark secrets.

Clark: Ever since I've met you, I've been defending you, making excuses for you to people like Pete, like my parents. Telling them, "You can trust Lex Luthor. He's a good guy. He's nothing like his father." I was wrong.

Season 4[edit]

Crusade[edit]

[4.01]

Clark [as Kal-El]: I am fine.

Lois: You've just been hit by lightning, you're stark naked, and you don't even remember your own name. You have a fairly loose definition of "fine."

[Clark turns to face Lois.]

Lois: [to herself] Look at his face... I have a blanket in the trunk.

Lois: Guess I'm a sucker for stray dogs and naked men. [Martha stares] Okay, that didn't come out right...

Lois: Look, I didn't come here fishing for thanks. I think Clark might know something about my cousin Chloe's death.

Martha: I'm so sorry for your loss.

Lois: Yeah. Were she and Clark ever an item?

Martha: Oh, I think for a minute...

Lois: It's funny, I never thought she'd fall for the farm boy type.

Martha: Trust me, that can happen to the best of us.

Lois: Not me. Give me a nerd with glasses any day of the week.

Martha: Clark has many sides.

Lois: Yeah, I've seen several of them already.

Clark [as Kal-El]: I am Kal-El of Krypton. It's time to fulfill my destiny.

Martha: Destiny?! That's Jor-El talking! He did this to you! I want my son back! Give me my son back!

Clark [as Kal-El]: Clark Kent is dead.

Bridget Crosby: Martha, I can help you if you'll let me. Now, where's your son?

Martha: I don't know... He flew. He flew away.

Bridget Crosby: So he's- He has completely embraced his Kryptonian destiny.

Martha: Do you know what that destiny is?

Bridget Crosby: No, but the symbol burned into your field three months ago? That's the Kryptonian symbol for "Crusade."

[Bumps into Lana]

Jason: Oh, sorry. Your American, right?

Lana: Yes.

Jason: Great. Can I ask you a big favour?

Lana: Sure...as long as it doesn't get me arrested.

Jason: No, I'm supposed to meet my, uh, my girlfriend here. Well, she's not really my girlfriend, even though we spend every waking moment together. See, we met two months ago today on this exact street corner, and I bought her something to mark the occasion. I wanted to get your opinion.

Lana: All right.

Jason: Okay.

[He takes a biking helmet out of his bag]

Lana: Well, I think that would probably be the last thing she would be expecting.

Jason: It doesn't really scream "romance" does it? But, see, the first time we met, I was driving by on my Vespa, and I clipped her. She thought I was gonna steal her purse so she kicked me off my bike. I messed up an old football injury and then she spent five hours with me at the hospital and we just clicked.

Lana: Well, it sounds like love at first crash.

Jason: Yeah. Well, for me it was anyway, but I'm just an impulsive kind of guy.

Lana: Well, how does she feel?

Jason: I don't know. She doesn't really talk about it. I think she, uh, I think she got hurt by somebody, but maybe she needs to talk about it.

Lana: Well, uh, nothing says "I love you" like a motorcycle helmet.

Jason: Yeah. It's for a weekend trip to Nice if she's... if she's interested.

Lana: If a guy did something that romantic for me, I think I'd have to kiss him.

Jason: Yeah?

Lana: Yeah.

[They kiss]

Gone[edit]

[4.02]

Clark: None of this would've happened if I had been there.

Lois: Okay, Commando, I don't get you. Half the time, you're all meek "Yes, Ma" and "Yes, Pa", and the other half, you are the most overconfident guy I've ever met.

Clark: It doesn't happen to you much, does it? Not being able to peg someone right away?

Lois: Oh, get over yourself. You are not that complicated.

Clark: Um... we usually take turns in the bathroom.

Lois: Oh, don't start with me, Smallville. You're the one taking the marathon shower. Besides, my delicate feminine sensibilities weren't offended the first time I got a glimpse of, uh, Clark Junior.

Clark: My parents kind of missed the whole Woodstock phase. Besides, they freaked out the last time they caught me in a co-ed situation.

Lois: Last time? So the eagle scout does have a few secrets in the closet.

Lois: Wow, she didn't take any prisoners, did she? Lana? Cute, smart, gutsy... and way too much for you to handle. I can see why you're in love with her.

Clark: Look, you're really not the person I want to talk to about this.

Lois: Suit yourself.

Clark: It's just... I knew she'd be dating other people.

Lois: But?

Clark: I just don't understand how you could feel like you know someone so completely, like you know everything about them, and then just all of a sudden...

Lois: You don't even know what continent they're on.

Clark: [frustrated] Do you always have to finish people's thoughts?

Lois: [equally frustrated] Well, am I right?

Lex: Does this mean you're talking to me again?

Clark: Only because I don't have a choice.

Lex: Relegated from friend to last resort. I guess I'll have to accept it if it's my only chance to prove myself.

Clark: Good. 'Cause I want you to help me find Chloe.

Lex: Look, I'd like to set things straight between us, Clark, but don't you think raising someone from the grave is setting the bar a little high?

Jonathan: Clark, as much as I hate to admit this, Lex had a hand in this too. He did make good on his promise to protect Chloe.

Clark: And look what he got out of it. Control of LuthorCorp. Look, I'm sorry, but it's gonna take a lot more than that for me to get to trust him again.

Martha: Ever since he met you, he's been surrounded by things he can't explain. We can't really blame him for trying to find the truth.

Clark: The truth is, he's been lying to me from day one. The legend on the cave wall says I'm destined to have an enemy. All this time, I've been worried about Lionel. But I'm beginning to think that the real threat was right in front of me. I think it's Lex.

Façade[edit]

[4.03]

Lois: Nice arm, farm boy. When's the first game?

Clark: I'm not on the team.

Lois: Why not? An arm like that is a "Get out of geek free" pass.

Clark: Well, even if I wanted to play-

Lois: Which obviously you do.

Clark: That wouldn't be the reason. Thanks, I don't really consider myself a geek.

Lois: So, what do you see yourself as?

Clark: I don't know. An outsider, I guess.

Lois: That's a recipe for wedgies if I've ever heard one.

Clark: [sarcastic] Have I told you how much I'm gonna miss you?

Chloe: Five credits in one semester? Lois, the only way you're gonna do that is if you add an extracurricular to your class list. Like, say, maybe... writing for the Torch.

Lois: Uh, no hard feelings here, cuz, but unlike you, the last thing I want to be is a reporter.

Chloe: Yeah, God. What could be worse than, you know, uncovering the truth and protecting the public?

Lois: And sticking your nose in other people's business.

Chloe: Like I said. You'd be perfect.

[Lois walks into the boy's locker room]

Clark: Hey, hey! The last time I checked, you were missing a few prerequisites for being in here.

Lois: So you have been checking me out.

Lana: I keep thinking of all the times that you've told me that I'm beautiful, and I can't help but wonder how much of me you really see.

Jason: Lana, I tell you you're beautiful because of who you are, not because of what I see. I mean, you're the girl I flew halfway across the world to be with. The girl who kicks the crap out of me at XBox and thinks it's hysterical. I mean, I have seen you with the stomach flu where your eyes were puffy and your nose was running, you're yakking-

Lana: Okay, okay. I get the picture.

Jason: All I'm saying is the reasons I love you... it's not something you can see in a mirror... That's good. I'm gonna write that down and use that later.

Jonathan: I guess practice ran late, huh?

Clark: Dad, I'm sorry I disappointed you. But I'm staying on the team. I'm tired of living my life on the sidelines.

Jonathan: I realize that, Clark. I also realize that you're a senior in high school, and from now on, you're gonna be making a lot of your own decisions. But if you want to be seen as an adult in this family, then you have to start acting like one. Adults in this family don't run off and do things without discussing them first.

Clark: I know. That's why I have just one question for you. You gonna let some assistant coach from Metropolis teach your boy how to play football?

Jonathan: ...Go deep.

Devoted[edit]

[4.04]

Chloe: [about Clark] Wow, superhero and journalist - what are the odds?

Lois: I'm glad you made the team, Clark, but why be a conformist? At least with the whole farm boy plaid thing, as lame as it is, it completely belongs to you.

Clark: In the future, let's restrict our conversations to "hello" and "goodbye."

Clark: Lex, if this friendship was so important, why'd you lie to me for so long?

Lex: I don't know, Clark. There's a darkness in me that I can't always control. I'm starting to think that's my curse, why every relationship I have ends badly.

Clark: We all have a dark side, Lex.

Lex: Yeah. But I can feel mine creeping over the corners. Your friendship helps keep it at bay. It reminds me that there are truly good people in the world. I'm not willing to give up on that.

Clark: What's that?

Lex: The Porsche you pulled me out of the day we met.

Clark: Why is it still here?

Lex: To remind me of what I almost lost. It's over, Clark. It really is. Look, I'm willing to give this friendship another shot if you are.

Clark: In the spirit of friendship, I was wondering if you could help me with a problem.

Lex: Absolutely. What is it?

Clark: Well, it's a who. Lois Lane.

Lois: You know, if I could describe my time here in one word, it would be "weird." I look forward to the relative normalcy of the big city. But don't worry. I'll visit.

Clark: Is that a promise or a threat?

Run[edit]

[4.05]

Bart (Flash): [to Clark] You know, I've always wondered if there was anyone out there like me, and it turns out to be you, Jimmy Crack Corn fresh from the farm.

Bart: You know what, man? Enough about poor little street urchin, all right? Let's take a closer look at the mysterious Clark Kent... You like to study Native American mythology. You've scrawled the name "Lana" on your notebooks, and you have one of the most boring hobbies known to man. Rock collecting.

Clark: I don't collect r-

[Bart opens a lead box with Kryptonite in it]

Bart: Dude, are you okay?

Clark: Put that away. I'm allergic.

Bart: Man, I've heard of people sneezing around cats and dogs and stuff, but never getting all weak in the knees over a rock.

Clark: It's a long story.

Bart: Which is one I'm sure I would love to hear... after we get back.

Clark: Get back from where?

Bart: Anywhere we want. I mean, dude, we are two super-powered studs here. Why else do you think I came to Smellyville looking for you, man? Let's go crank it up, go have some fun! You ever seen Florida?

Clark: You haven't been listening to anything I've said to you. You can't go around stealing whatever you want.

Bart: Why not?

Clark: Because there are laws.

Bart: For normal people. And, dude, why do you treat your abilities like a curse? They're not, man. They're a gift. I'm gonna use them.

Clark: I'm not saying you shouldn't. Just use them to help people, not hurt them.

Clark: I just came by to see if you were all right. I heard you had some trouble in Metropolis.

Lex: News travels fast.

Clark: Curse of a small town. So what happened?

Lex: I decided to play cowboy and got my spurs handed to me. To be honest, I don't know why I'm not dead.

Clark: There must be someone watching over you.

Lex: In more ways than one.

Clark: So, what are you gonna do now?

Bart: I don't know. I mean, it's a big world. I figure I'd check it out, see if there's anyone else out there like us. Maybe start, like, a club or a league or something. You know, you could come with me.

Clark: Or you could stay.

Bart: You have a great life, Clark. But it's not mine. I have no reason to stay in Smallville.

Clark: You have me.

Bart: Thanks for being my friend.

Clark: Are you sure there's nothing I can do to change your mind?

Bart: Tell you what. If you can catch me... I'll think about it.

Transference[edit]

[4.06]

Lex: Clark, you don't seem like your usual self. You barely said a word the entire ride home.

Lionel [in Clark]: Sorry. Being in that prison... I guess it upset me.

Lex: Yeah, well, it isn't exactly the happiest place on earth.

Lionel [in Clark]: No, it isn't, Lex. Do you ever feel guilty? Sending your father to prison, I mean.

Lex: Why would I? The man murdered his parents. I did society a favor.

Lionel [in Clark]: And that blood relationship, it doesn't mean anything to you?

Lex: Clark, since when did you become president of my father's fan club?

Lionel [in Clark]: You're right. Of course. He's only your father. Why should you feel anything?

Lionel [in Clark]: I have to confess that I... I find you absolutely fascinating. It's that twinkle in your eye... your wonderfully sexy smile... and your skin is...

Chloe: Clark, what are you doing?

Lionel [in Clark]: What I've wanted to do for a very... very long time. [leans to kiss her, then pulls away] Don't you wish.

Lionel [in Clark]: What do you think? I wanted to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule, Mr. Luthor. I understand how time-consuming making license plates can be... You're not gonna touch me with that rock in your hand. You won't get near me, not with my... speed.

Clark [in Lionel]: You're never gonna get away with this.

Lionel [in Clark]: Oh, but I am. With my mind and your body, the sky's the limit, Clark.

Clark [in Lionel]: I don't know what you're talking about.

Lionel [in Clark]: You know, it's becoming clear to me why you're so secretive. You understand that true power... is better left concealed.

Clark [in Lionel]: I know this is hard to believe, but I swear, it's the truth. [Pause.] It's me, Mom. It's Clark.

Martha: You're sick, Lionel. You need help.

Clark [in Lionel]: Mom, you have to believe me.

Martha: I'm leaving!

Clark [in Lionel]: Mom, Mom, no! Mom, remember when I was six and I was playing tag with Dad, and all of a sudden I started running faster than I'd ever run before, and I was in the middle of Palmer woods completely lost. And you and Dad had to call Sheriff Ethan, and when you saw me, you started crying. And I thought something was wrong with me, and you said no, there wasn't. And then you held me in your arms and you told me I was just special. I'm your special boy, you said.

Lex: Stay where you are!

Clark: Lex, it's me, Clark. I need to talk to you.

Lex: After I drove my Porsche into the river and you fished me out, I asked your dad if there was any way I could repay him. What did he say that we always joke about?

Clark: Lex, what is this, a pop quiz?

Lex: Answer the question!

Clark: He told you to drive slower.

Lex: Welcome back.

Jinx[edit]

[4.07]

Clark: Dad, I know you don't agree with me. But sometimes taking responsibility means having faith in yourself to make the hard choices.

Jonathan: And it also means being willing to accept the consequences.

Clark: Every handshake, every hug, every time I'm out on that field, I make a conscious decision to fall when those guys hit me so they don't get hurt. No matter how hard you try, you can't understand that. That's why it's my decision, not yours.

Jonathan: You're starting to sound more and more like your father.

Clark: I hope so, Dad.

Jason: His collarbone's broken in two places... I can't figure out how you could pummel a guy that outweighs you by 100 pounds and shatter his collarbone.

Clark: I'm sorry. It must've been an accident. I mean, I got a surge of adrenaline.

Jason: Adrenaline doesn't explain the fact that you went from chucking bales of hay to chucking 60-yard passes overnight.

Clark: I guess I'm a fast learner.

Chloe: It's all right, Clark. You can stay.

Clark: I thought you had some self-imposed restraining order against me. Does this mean you're talking to me again?

Chloe: No, this just means that I'm willing to take a chance on getting your Dr. Jekyll side today.

Clark: I know Lana. She's never been this serious about anyone.

Lex: You sound awfully concerned about that for someone who let her walk out of his life.

Clark: Yeah, I guess the whole "If you love them set them free" thing kind of backfired.

Lex: It's not about love, Clark. It's about what you're willing to do for it. On that field, you'll do whatever it takes to win, but if you're not willing to do the same for Lana, maybe she doesn't mean as much to you as you think.

Clark: I sure hope you had better luck with the locusts than I did with Lex.

Chloe: The last time I checked, they weren't selling biblical plagues on Amazon.

Spell[edit]

[4.08]

Clark: Hey, Dad!

Jonathan: Hey, Clark. Son, is there maybe a little something you'd like to tell your mother and me?

[Jonathan holds up bra]

Martha: Where did that come from?

Jonathan: From out in the barn. In the hay.

Martha: Clark...

Clark: It was magic.

Martha: I'm sure it was...

Clark: Isabelle was... aggressively sexy.

Lana: Oh great, possessed by an evil slut...

Briana [in Lois]: I'm gorgeous! [touching her chest] Look at these!

Isabelle [in Lana]: [uninterested] Yes. They're very nice.

Isabelle [in Lana]: We don't have time for this.

Madeleine [in Chloe]: Time is the only thing we do have. Isn't that what you said right before the angry mob set us on fire?

Isabelle [in Lana]: You're really not gonna let that go, are you?

Lex: You leave quite a path of destruction.

Lana: Lex. I was going to come see you.

Lex: Preemptive strike. Just in case there was any evil dead action still brewing.

Bound[edit]

[4.09]

Lex: I didn't kill her.

Corinne: I didn't ask. Lex, you're paying me to get you off, not to prove you're innocent. But you're gonna have to be straight with me. Were you drinking last night?

Lex: Yes. At the fundraiser in the hotel. We had champagne.

Corinne: Is it possible that you were drugged?

Lex: Well, it wouldn't be the first time.

Lionel: How's Lex? I've been trying to contact him since I heard, but he won't speak to me.

Clark: He thinks you're trying to frame him. Are you?

Lionel: No, Clark.

Clark: Why should I believe you?

Lionel: There's no reason you should. Listen to me. I was ill, Clark. The liver disease I had was a death sentence. And something happened. I can't explain it. I woke up on the floor. There was a riot. I felt as if a different kind of energy had been inside me. Something strong and... good. I was changed. And my liver had healed.

Clark: What was it?

Lionel: I don't know. All I can say was... it was miraculous. I could see the darkness, the destructive power that had always been inside me. I can see it in Lex now.

Clark: I thought Lex's attorneys would have all this under lock and key.

Chloe: Yeah, well, she may know people at the top, but I know people at the bottom, and they work for tips.

Clark: How long is this gonna continue, Lex?

Lex: I don't know. What do you want me to tell you?

Clark: I don't want you to tell me anything. I want you to change.

Lex: I don't know if I can.

Clark: You know, it seems the only person you care about is yourself. There's a whole side of you that I don't know about, Lex. And what else don't I know about you?

Lex: You don't know that every day, I wonder why I keep going. Why I do the things I do. You know, Shannon might have been crazy, but she was right about me. I treated those women terribly, Clark. People died, and I could've stopped it. I see that now.

Clark: Well, that's a start.

Lex: You know, there was a moment the other night when that fire she set was coming towards me. I thought, good. It would save the world a lot of grief. But somehow, the fire went out. And she was lying on the floor. And suddenly, I had a second chance.

Clark: The last few days, Lex, I thought your father was being more honest with me than you were. And I hated that feeling. I felt like we were enemies.

Lex: Don't give up on me yet.

Scare[edit]

[4.10]

Stall: I hope I didn't separate you from your flock.

Lionel: I understand your cynicism, Warden Stall, but I assure you I truly am a changed man.

Stall: Oh. Or just a smart one. You know, ever since you proclaimed this sudden conversion to our resident St. Paul, there hasn't been a single attempt on your life.

Lionel: I want only to be of help to others. What is the value of my sinful life unless I use it as an example to shepherd fellow sinners, to lead them away from the allure of hedonism, mistrust, and greed? To follow a better way?

Lionel: I'm guilty. Not of the crime I've been imprisoned for, but... so many other crimes which should've landed me in here years ago. This is where I belong. It's where I can do the most good.

Stall: You want to stay in prison?

Lionel: Yes, I do. I've found my... my mission in life.

Stall: Contrary to your deluded point of view, this is not the Ritz Carlton where you can check in and check out at your leisure. Somebody did you a favor by getting you out of this place. I'd say be grateful.

Lionel: But who? Who could do that?

Stall: Obviously someone more powerful than you.

Martha: I hope our own fears haven't gotten in your way. I would hate for you to look back and regret not telling the people closest to you. I mean, there is a chance Lana would understand.

Clark: There is. But what if she didn't?

Jonathan: Clark, look, I'm not sure that it's Lana, but I am sure that someday there'll be someone you can tell.

Clark: I've seen you worked up before, but this is more than amped, even for you.

Chloe: I guess it's just displaced anxiety. I found my mom, Clark.

Clark: Wow. That's... Chloe, that's great.

Chloe: Yeah, I mean I put my feelers out for years, and something, three months ago, finally came through. So it turns out she's not exactly MIA, so to speak. She's in a mental institution.

Clark: I'm sorry.

Chloe: The real kicker is it's hereditary.

Clark: Listen, hey. If there's one thing that I've learned it's that you're not destined to follow in your parents footsteps, all right?

Chloe: So, popular question of the day. What is Clark Kent's worst nightmare?

Clark: When I woke up. Everyone that I knew was gone. I was completely alone.

Chloe: I wish I could say that I'll always be there for you, but somehow I get the feeling that may not be a promise I can keep. You were the only one who came out of it, Clark, and I don't think it's because you've been taking your vitamins... Look, you know what? You don't have to tell me. I know that I gave you my word that I was going to stop all this prying but... In these last few months, I really got a taste of what it was like to keep my mom's secret, and I've never felt more alone.

Clark: It's weird when people think they're so close to you but have no idea what you're really going through.

Chloe: Yeah. I'd hate to live my whole life like this. But after 'fessing up, it's amazing how quickly that feeling of loneliness disappears. I mean, if you can't tell your best friend, who can you tell? Right, Clark?

Unsafe[edit]

[4.11]

Minister: We are gathered here to join this happy couple in holy matrimony. Marriage, as you know, is a union that should not be entered into lightly.

Clark: Yeah, yeah, skip to the good stuff, Pops.

Minister: Oh, all right, do you, Clark Kent, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Clark: Hell, yes!

Alicia: Good thing you've got buns of steel. You might be impervious to the cold, but I'm turning into a Popsicle.

Clark: Well, I do have heat vision.

Clark: You drugged me!

Alicia: No, it's not- I just didn't know what else to do because I couldn't stay, and I couldn't leave without you so I just thought you could listen to your heart instead of your head for once.

Clark: Look, you don't even see what you did was wrong! What's the matter with you?

Alicia: Clark, you could've hooked up with any girl you wanted and you chose me. Why do you think that is?

Clark: You dosed me with red kryptonite! It makes me do things I don't want to do!

Alicia: No, I don't think that rock forces you to do anything, Clark! Maybe it dampens your inhibitions, but Clark Kent got himself into this situation, okay? Clark Kent asked me to marry him. Clark Kent brought me up to this hotel room to make love to me.

Clark: Well, maybe Clark Kent made a mistake.

Alicia: I'm so sorry about what I did to you, Clark. I just didn't want to lose the one good thing in my life.

Clark: I'm not so sure that drugging me was the best way to preserve the relationship... I wanted you with or without that rock.

Alicia: Past tense noted.

Martha: I'm upset. But more than that, I'm disappointed.

Clark: I was on red kryptonite, Mom.

Martha: My God, you ran off with a girl you barely know and got married.

Clark: It wasn't legal.

Martha: That's not even the point. Marriage is sacred, Clark. It's about two people who trust each other and are willing to go through life together no matter how difficult it gets. I thought we had taught you that! You're an amazing young man, Clark. You make life and death decisions every day. But then you turn around and you do this. Why did you do it?

Clark: Mom, there's a part of me that never feels freer than when I'm with Alicia. She makes me feel normal and special at the same time.

Martha: I know how badly you want to be with somebody. I want that for you too. I guess I just expected you to use better judgment.

Pariah[edit]

[4.12]

Chloe: Lois, if you found out something, something someone didn't want you to know about them, would you tell them?

Lois: That depends. Is that person someone you care about?

Chloe: Yeah.

Lois: And does keeping the secret hurt anyone?

Chloe: No.

Lois: Then my answer is no. If I really cared about that person, I wouldn't tell them that I knew. But I would go out of my way to be supportive of them so that hopefully, one day, they would be comfortable enough to tell me themselves.

Clark: Alicia didn't do this. Ever since she was released from Belle Reve, she's been wearing her lead bracelet. It prevents her from using her abilities.

Lois: And did she also happen to be wearing anything low-cut when she spun you that tale, 'cause I'm not sure you're thinking with your big brain here.

Chloe: Clark, just because Alicia says that the bracelet keeps her from teleporting doesn't mean that it's the truth.

Clark: She was with me when Lana got attacked. I was saying good night in Grandville.

Chloe: Yeah, but every second? You have to admit that she can transport easier than Captain Kirk.

Lois: And she did try to carve herself a Jack-O-Lana before, cut and dry. Emphasis on the "cut."

Jonathan: Son, your girlfriend has problems and this relationship is not healthy. Why can't you see that?

Clark: You always told me to look for the good in people, to believe in them. And Alicia deserves a second chance.

Martha: What I don't understand is why do you continue to see her, knowing how we feel?

Clark: She kept my secret. She got shot protecting me. What else does she have to do to prove herself?

Clark: Everybody thinks it's you.

Alicia: Why, because of my powers? Because I'm a freak? You know what, Clark? Maybe if everybody knew your secret, you'd be a suspect too.

Alicia: [reading] "Can Any Cell Hold Her?" Probably not.

Chloe: Alicia, what are you doing here?

Alicia: Chloe Sullivan, ace reporter. You write all these articles about the people you call freaks and you don't even realize that someone close to you is one of them. Why are you ignoring what's right in front of your face, Chloe? Don't you want to know the truth about Clark Kent?

Recruit[edit]

[4.13]

Chloe: How did you post bail?

Lois: Four very good friends of mine. Visa, Mastercard, American Express, and Discover.

Clark: Lois, I don't think this is the best time.

Lois: And when would be the best time, Clark, when I'm on the chain gang?

Clark: [to Geoff] I'm sorry. She's under a lot of stress lately.

Lois: No. Stress is when you're stuck in traffic or you have a midterm for a class you've never been to. I'm out on bail and looking to be locked up for manslaughter.

Clark: I want to believe that I can go out there and play football like any normal college kid, but the fact is, I have powers that no other athlete has. Coop was right. It's not fair that Geoff was out there on that field, just like it's not fair when I'm out there competing. So I've decided to give up football.

Martha: Clark... I know how difficult it is to give up something you love.

Jonathan: But this decision you've made son, it shows integrity well beyond your years.

Clark: Then why don't I feel good about it?

Clark: So what're you gonna do? Are you gonna go stay with Chloe?

Lois: They've got a tiny one-bedroom apartment. I can't do that to them. It's fine, really, I'm just gonna check into a motel and when the money runs out, I can always sleep in my car. The backseat's not too bad if you bend your knees and avoid the drive train and then, you know, if I have to sell my car for food, that's okay too. I've always dreamed of being a hobo, riding the rails, cooking beans over roadside fires...

Clark: If you want, I guess you can stay with us.

Lois: You're a lifesaver! God, am I in need of a hot shower! Don't worry, Smallville. I'll try to keep it under a half hour.

Clark: What just happened?

Chloe: I'm proud of you, Clark.

Clark: You're proud of me? Why?

Chloe: I just have a feeling that you're destined to do a lot more in this world than just score touchdowns.

Clark: Chloe, you've been saying a lot of weird things to me lately. What makes you think I'm destined to do anything?

Chloe: Just a hunch.

Krypto[edit]

[4.14]

Clark: Just playing with Skippy here.

Lois: We're not gonna call him Skippy.

Clark: Okay, Lois, what would you like to call him?

Lois: Let's see. He's annoying, and I can't seem to get within ten feet of him without getting sick... I think we should call him Clarkie.

Clark: We found this dog.

Lois: Actually, I found him. Well, hit him actually. Not hard. We call him Clarkie.

Clark: We don't call him Clarkie.

Lois: Is it the "ie" part you don't like? Because we could always just make it Clark. But then that would get really confusing, and hey, maybe you should consider changing your name. You could be Skipper.

Clark: Lois, call the police. I'm gonna see if I can catch up with these guys.

Lois: Hold on there, Forrest Gump. What are you gonna do, run? We brought my car, remember?

Clark: Lois, look-

Lois: Unh-unh. We can call the cops on the way. You are so weird sometimes.

Clark: [later, in the car] You know, can you go a little bit faster?

Lois: Hey, you were gonna be hoofing it about ten minutes ago. Besides, I don't want to hit anything.

Lois: I thought bathing him was supposed to help with my allergies.

Clark: Well, maybe you're allergic to the soap too.

Lois: Maybe I'm allergic to you.

Sacred[edit]

[4.15]

Clark: I was just trying to figure out if hidden temples and body-snatching witches fits under community service or extracurriculars.

Jor-El: I knew you would return, my son.

Clark: Why'd you send me to find this?

Jor-El: Because you may be the last survivor of a great civilization.

Clark: A great civilization that destroyed itself!

Jor-El: As will yours if you continue to refuse your mission. The knowledge of our civilization was encoded in three stones brought to Earth and hidden at the far reaches of the world. Greed will drive others to hunt the stones. But if the humans should unite them before you, they will not be able to withstand the temptation and will drive the world to famine, war, and the Earth's ultimate destruction. You must find the other two stones. The fate of your world lies in your hands... Kal-El.

Clark: Lana, what's going on?

Lana: Which part? The immaculate tattoo, the fact that I seem to be a harboring a 16th century witch, or that Jason and Lex took off with a map to uncover it all behind my back?

Clark: Why would they do that?

Lana: I don't know, but Jason said that we were gonna figure this out together. But it turns out he has a rather limited definition of "we."

Clark: Lana, whatever their motives are, I'm sure they still care about you.

Lana: That still doesn't change the fact that everybody seems to know more about me than I do.

Clark: It must be scary to think that someone out there has a plan for you, but you don't know what it is yet.

Lionel: You have a ferocious desire to find all the answers, son, but don't let your search for those stones turn into your personal Tower of Babel.

Lex: I'm not trying to get closer to God, Dad. I'm trying to solve the riddles He's laid out for me.

Lionel: Did you ever think there might be a reason why we weren't given the answers?

Lex: To challenge us?

Lionel: Or maybe to humble us. Knowledge comes from finding the answers, yes, but understanding what the answers mean is what brings wisdom. Men who didn't understand the difference have been the ruin of some of the world's greatest civilizations.

Lex: Is that why you stopped looking for the stones? Because you're afraid?

Lionel: No. No, I stopped because I realized that even if I find the three stones, I'm not gonna find what I'm really looking for. Neither will you.

Lucy[edit]

[4.16]

Clark: So, Lucy, Lois has told us absolutely nothing about you.

Lucy: Well there's not much to tell.

Lois: Oh, please. Let me gloat. She is getting straight A's at one of the most prestigious prep schools in Europe, she is fluent in three languages, and she is fending off Ivy League colleges with a stick.

Clark: Wow, that's impressive. What happened to Lois?

Lois: You're gonna find that Clark's charm is an acquired taste, much like his sense of fashion.

Lex: Two Lanes under one roof. That's got to be interesting.

Clark: Well, I haven't had a hot shower in two days, and the laundry machine is running nonstop, the phone line is consistently busy. No, it's nice having them around. I mean, it kind of takes the loneliness out of the house.

Lex: Yeah, I always hated the sound of a quiet home.

Clark: I knew you had talents, but I didn't think burglary was one of them.

Lucy: I swear I was gonna pay it all back. I'm not some criminal.

Clark: You do a pretty good job of impersonating one. Look, Lucy, I just don't get it. I mean, why?

Lucy: Do you have any idea what it's like to be different from everyone else? To be a total outsider?

Clark: I might have an idea.

Clark: Lex, do you ever miss not having a sibling?

Lex: I used to... until I met you, Clark. You're closer to me than any... blood brother.

Lois: You're amazing, Smallville. You always look for the best in people even when they walk all over you.

Clark: I guess that explains why we're friends.

Lois: Oh, we're friends now?

Clark: Well, I won't tell anyone if you don't.

Onyx[edit]

[4.17]

Clark: Chloe, I was with Lex. We went to the lab together.

Chloe: Which would be about the same time I was talking to Lex outside Dr. Sinclair's room.

Clark: Well, that's impossible.

Chloe: Not in Smallville. You of all people should know that.

Lionel: What's going on? What the hell are you doing?

Alexander: Seizing the moment, Dad. Just like you taught me. Now, what's your problem with me this time, old man?

Lionel: It was your offer to hold a fundraiser at LuthorCorp Plaza, then you go behind my back and cancel the whole thing. Why would you do that?

Alexander: "Because helping those who refuse to help themselves is a waste of time and money, son!" Isn't that what the old Lionel Luthor used to say?

Lionel: I've changed. People change, Lex.

Alexander: No, they don't. They just get soft. Like you.

Clark: Where's Lex?

Alexander: He's standing right in front of you.

Clark: No, you're not him. The real Lex would never try to kill me or Chloe.

Alexander: No, you're probably right. But he's thought about it! All the times you've meddled in his plans, derailed his ambitions. He's thought about killing all of you. He just never had the guts to go through with it.

Clark: What are you?

Alexander: I was just about to ask you the same question.

Lex: Let's see what happens to me if you die!

Alexander: You can't kill me! I drive you. I give your life meaning. I'm your soul, you weak, pathetic little man! I'm the real Lex Luthor!

Lex: Look, whatever I've done in the last few days...

Lionel: Please, no need for an apology. Quite the contrary. I must say, you finally proved yourself to be the son I've always wanted, and I thank you for showing me so clearly the error of my ways.

Lex: What are you talking about?

Lionel: I'm closing down the foundation immediately.

Lex: What? You can't. The charity is your life.

Lionel: Just a foolish dream. I'm awake now. A man can't deny his true nature, can he, Lex? No. We're Luthors.

Spirit[edit]

[4.18]

Lois: Mrs. Kent, a lot of things are possible in this world, but there will be a man on Mars before Clark and I go to Prom together.

Dawn [in Martha]: So what, you two just get together and mack, but keep it on the down-low in public?

Clark: Mom!

Lois: I don't mean to be rude, Mrs. Kent, but did you crack open the cooking sherry?

Chloe: Well, we are in Smallville. And I mean, what would the Senior Prom be without a body-snatching Prom Queen?

Dawn [in Lois]: How do I look?

Clark: Looks like you're going to the Prom.

Dawn [in Lois]: I am. And you're taking me! I'm not going to let you sit around moping all night while your parents go out and do the electric boogaloo all night. It's gonna be fun.

Clark: No, I'm not going.

Dawn [in Lois]: Massive re-strategy. You're going to your senior Prom whether you like it or not. End of discussion. Put on your tux.

Clark: Lois, wasn't this not in the realm of possibilities?

Dawn [in Lois]: Anything is possible, Clark. Anything.

Lois: What the hell am I doing in a dress, and what the hell am I doing at your Prom?

Clark: Oh, no...

[Lois points to the corsage pinned to her dress]

Lois: Did you pin that on me?

Clark: I'll explain later, Lois.

Lois: A little close to the boob, don't you think?

Lois: Hey. You know, a year from now, this is all gonna seem like a lifetime ago.

Chloe: That's funny because it feels like just yesterday when he deserted that nervous freshman on the dance floor.

Lois: You're headed for Metropolis. You are destined to be a big shot reporter at the Daily Planet. Do you really picture Clark Kent being able to keep up with you?

Chloe: You know, Lois, I think Clark might have a lot more to offer than you realize.

Lois: I wouldn't bet on it.

Blank[edit]

[4.19]

Lois: Clark, you know that.

Chloe: Well, not so much. He has amnesia, and he's having a hard time—

Lois: Again?

Clark: What do you mean again?

Lois: Well, at least this time you got clothes on.

Chloe: I'm gonna go to the Torch and see what I can find out about amnesia.

Lois: Yeah, just leave Mr. Memory Reboot to me. I'm getting to be a pro at this. [to Clark] But you know what? You're gonna have to put up with PB and J because that's the extent of my culinary skills.

Chloe: [to Clark] Okay?

Clark: Please tell me I'm not related to her.

Chloe: No, I am. You live with her.

Clark: How did I do that?

Chloe: Why did I always picture myself on the other end of this conversation? Smallville was hit with the world's biggest meteor shower when you were little. Now, I know this sounds way out there, but some of the meteor rocks have had an extraterrestrial effect on certain people in the town, and it's my theory that you were one of them.

Clark: Extraterrestrial powers? You mean I'm some sort of alien?

Chloe: No. No, of course not.

Clark: A mutant?

Chloe: Uh... yeah... who has saved my life on more than one occasion. See, you've sort of taken it upon yourself to be Smallville's self-appointed hero. And if you ask me, I think that that is amazing.

Chloe: Hold on a minute, are you telling me that you can see through solid objects?

Clark: I guess that's one you didn't know about, huh?

Chloe: No, and that might be one of those abilities you're gonna want to keep a lid on.

Clark: You know, I've been thinking about that. You know, I don't know why I was worried so much about what people think. I don't know why I let it rule my life. I mean, you understood.

Chloe: Yeah, but Clark, unfortunately, some people in Smallville aren't as progressive as your post-amnesia tour guide.

Clark: That should be their problem, not mine.

Lois: How did he [Clark] get here?.

Chloe:[Loking at Clark talking to Lana] Looks like the heart remembers more than the brain.

Clark: So it must've been kind of strange to have a zombie best friend walking around.

Chloe: Yeah, I mean, you know, I never really realized how complicated that zombie's life was.

Clark: Complicated? Did I do something unusual?

Chloe: You had a clean slate to start all over with, and you made all the same choices... except for one.

Clark: Chloe, I need you to be completely honest with me.

Chloe: Honest, huh?

Clark: What'd I do?

Chloe: You trusted me.

Ageless[edit]

[4.20]

Adams: Last time I checked, babies don't just fall out of the sky, Mr. Kent.

Clark: It left a 30-foot crater, Sheriff. How else would you explain it?

Adams: Well, I can't. That's why we're conducting a little something called an investigation.

Lionel: You know, there were other treasure seekers in China, Genevieve.

Genevieve: A farm boy, an ex-cheerleader, and Lex Luthor. Who do you think ended up with the prize?

Lionel: Well, my son hasn't been listening to me. What do you want me to do, give him a good spanking?

Lionel: Parenthood. It's an interesting phenomenon, isn't it? The lengths we go to... to protect our children. No limits.

Genevieve: [choking] What have you done to me?

Lionel: The wine you've just drunk will kill you in a matter of minutes. I'm told that the pain will be excruciating. How about a trade? You give me the stone that you stole from Bridgette Crosby, and I give you... the antidote. One more thing... you go near my son, and anything that happens to him happens to you. Is that understood?

Jonathan: There is nothing quite like watching your son grow up into a young man you can be very proud of.

Clark: It's too bad I'll never know what that's like.

Martha: Why not?

Clark: I'm from another planet. I'm not even human. Who knows if I can have kids?

Martha: Clark, your father and I couldn't have children. We were still blessed with a son. You never know what the future will bring you.

Lex: I'm releasing our findings to every research facility across the globe. Evan's life may offer hope for generations to come.

Clark: He was a special kid, Lex. I can't help wondering what kind of man he would've become.

Lex: A good one... as long as you were in his life. I bet you're gonna be a great dad someday, Clark.

Clark: So will you, Lex.

Lex: I don't know about that. Look, we're all reflections of how we've been raised. Your parents gave you encouragement and support. Mine chose the opposite track. I plan on leaving a different kind of legacy.

Forever[edit]

[4.21]

Martha: I know what you're doing, Jonathan. You can't take the place of Clark on this farm, no one can. Every other farm in the county has at least five hands to help out.

Jonathan: Sweetheart, my family managed to run this farm for generations before Clark came around. I see no reason why I can't run it by myself.

Martha: Sometimes I wonder which one of you is more stubborn.

Jonathan: Why don't I give you a clue?

Jonathan: Martha, what exactly is it that you want me to do? You want me to tell our teenage son that we couldn't possibly survive around here without him? What kind of parents would that make us?

Martha: Honest ones. How many times has he asked be treated like an adult? This decision took a lot of maturity.

Jonathan: Or guilt. Martha, Clark still feels responsible for my heart problems. I'm not going to allow him to do this out of pity.

Martha: It's not pity, Jonathan. Clark knows that if he leaves, he can only come back a few times a year. And he doesn't want one of those times to be your funeral.

Lex: You're making a big mistake Jason. I know she's your mother but don't think for a second she won't turn on you. Trust me on this one.

Genevieve: Jason...

Jason: It's okay, Mother. I don't expect him to understand the meaning of family loyalty, especially when the only thing running through the Luthor blood is betrayal.

Genevieve: Lex, your father has one of the stones.

Lex: And what do you want from me?

Genevieve: I have a feeling that he'd sooner die than give up that stone. But all that might change if his own flesh and blood were at stake.

Lex: You obviously don't know my father as well as I do.

Genevieve: I hope for your sake you're wrong.

Clark: Dad, you raised me to make my own decisions. Why don't you trust me on this?

Jonathan: Because you are a lot like me. I had a full ride to Met. U. waiting for me when I graduated. Problem is, my father needed me on this farm. So I stayed.

Clark: Dad that's a pretty big footnote to leave out. Why didn't you tell me?

Jonathan: I didn't want it to weigh you down. As much as I loved my father, a part of me still resents him for needing me that much. I don't want you to feel that. That's not the kind of father I ever wanted to be.

Clark: Dad. This isn't about the kind of father you are. It's about the kind of son I want to be.

Covenant[edit]

[4.22]

Lois: I took this career test in some magazine - it said that my perfect job would be a radio disc jockey.

Clark: That makes sense. You talk enough. There won't be any dead air.

Lois: You mock me now Smallville, but you just wait and see.

Clark: Journalism. You ever thought about that? You wrote some half decent articles in your short lived career at the Torch.

Lois: Nah, kill me first. Even if I could spell, the last thing I'd wanna do is spend my time in a newsroom. With my luck I'd probably end up across the desk from the most bumbling reporter on the masthead.

Lois: I realize hand-eye coordination isn't one of your strong suits. Here, let me help you with that.

Clark: [annoyed] Lois, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do without you.

Lois: Oh, come on, Clark, your future is laid out right in front of you. You're going to go to community college, major in agriculture, probably minor in law enforcement. And then you and Lana are going to have a nice little church wedding.

Clark: Excuse me?

Lois: It's written in the stars and you know it. It's only a matter of time before you join the bowling league, take over the family farm, and then, well, you and Lana can bring little Clark Jr. into the world.

Clark: I think you're hallucinating.

Lois: No. Hallucinating would be imagining Clark Kent going off to the big city to make his mark in the world. I'm just being realistic.

Lois: Look, I know we've had our disagreements in the past. And I will be the first to admit that I've made it my own little hobby to bust your chops.

Clark: I'm used to it. Besides, I know I haven't been the most gracious host.

Lois: Look, I just want you to know, Clark, that when I'm sitting in the audience today at your graduation and you stand up on that stage in front of all those people, I'm gonna be looking up at you and thinking one thing.

Clark: What's that?

Lois: Please, God, don't let him trip.

Jor-El: The knowledge of the universe is meant for you only. Yet you chose to deny your heritage. Today, you will witness the consequences.

Clark: Then you sent the meteor shower?

Jor-El: I have done nothing, Kal-El. Human blood has stained one of the elements and awakened a great danger from the darkness of space.

Clark: What can I do to stop it?

Jor-El: There is nothing you can do to prevent what is already in motion. But the meteor shower is just the beginning, Kal-El. I warned you that the elements could not fall into the hands of a human. The three must become one. It is the only way to save Earth from total annihilation.

Clark: I don't know where they are! I don't have time to find them!

Jor-El: If you don't unite them at once, you, my son, will be seared by a fire from the sky even you can't survive. The future of mankind rests in your hands, Kal-El.

Clark: You're gonna have to go without me.

Jonathan: Do I have to remind you, Clark, that the last time we had a meteor shower, it was full of kryptonite?

Martha: If the same happens today it could kill you. You have to come with us.

Clark: I spoke to Jor-El. He told me I have to find the other two stones right now, and unite them with the one in the cave.

Martha: No! You're my son. You're not gonna go on some kind of suicide mission.

Jonathan: Clark, you might be stronger than steel, but you're not invincible.

Clark: I know, Dad. But I'm the only one who can do this.

Jonathan: All right. But I want you to listen to me right now. All the years that your mother and I spent raising you from that wide-eyed toddler running around on this farm to the man who is standing in front of me right now was for this moment. You do this, son. You make us proud.

Season 5[edit]

Arrival[edit]

[5.01]

Jor-El: Kal-El, you must continue your education. You cannot stop.

Clark: She's my friend! She needs help!

Jor-El: Your destiny is far greater than saving one human life.

Clark: No, I won't let her die!

Jor-El: Each time you let your emotions guide you, the fate of the entire planet is at risk. That is your weakness, Kal-El.

Clark: I wasn't born anywhere near Smallville. In fact, I wasn't born anywhere near this galaxy.

Chloe: Okay... okay... so that would make you an...

Clark: Yeah.

Chloe: But you... you look so-

Clark: Human? I'm still the same person.

Chloe: Clark... I think you're so amazing. You save people's lives and take zero credit for it. To me, you're more than just a hero. You're a super hero.

Clark: Chloe-

Chloe: I'm serious, Clark. If more humans were like you, the world would be a better place.

Chloe: [to Clark] I want you to know, I'll never be the iceberg to your Titanic, and your secret will never ever leave my lips. No matter what.

Clark: How'd you get that frog in your throat?

Lois: That's what happens when you get a neck massage from Barbie the Barbarian. Doctor says I shouldn't talk too much.

Clark: Oh, gee. That's too bad.

Lois: Don't get your hopes up, Smallville. It's not permanent.

Martha: You can get hurt now; you're vulnerable.

Clark: Isn't that what it means to be human?

Mortal[edit]

[5.02]

Clark: Whoa!

Chloe: What? I like to come prepared.

Clark: Chloe, where'd you get all this stuff?

Chloe: eBay.

Clark: Is that a flash grenade?

Chloe: Careful! That was a graduation present from Lois. I'm saving it for a special occasion.

Clark: Why didn't you tell me about all this stuff?

Chloe: We all have our secrets, Clark.

Lex: Happiness is such an elusive creature, isn't it? We all wish for it, but very few ever really find it.

Chloe: Doesn't make the search any less important.

Lex: Or the destination... Do you remember the last time we stood here together? I ended up unconscious on the ground and somehow you landed in the artic.

Chloe: I told you, I don't remember what happened.

Lex: Then why have you been avoiding me, Chloe? It's been weeks since I brought you back from that hospital in the Yukon where I found you.

Chloe: I've been busy, Lex.

Lex: Right, I heard being a third wheel is very time consuming.

Chloe: Clark and Lana are finally together. They're happy. That's all that should matter to a real friend.

Lex: I think you know more than you're telling me about what happened in this cave, about Clark's involvement. I know you think you're being a good friend, but you're playing a very dangerous game.

Chloe: Kinda like covering up the spaceship Lana said crashed during the meteor shower.

Lex: Lana was hysterical. She didn't see what she thought she did.

Chloe: Well, maybe you didn't either, Lex. Stop asking me questions or I will start asking my own.

Clark: Destiny's just another word for not having a choice.

Clark: It's a lot heavier than I remember.

Jonathan: You're just going to have to learn, Clark. Pace yourself. You're human now.

Chloe: Ah, the joys of manual labor.

Clark: It's not so bad. I kinda like being sore. It makes me feel like I've actually accomplished something. No pain, no gain, right?

Chloe: Breaking news: Clark Kent saves the day.

Clark: Thanks to you.

Chloe: Yeah, well, I did just what I usually do. You were the one who took down three meteor freaks without any... special advantages. Then again, once a hero, always a hero.

Hidden[edit]

[5.03]

Clark: All right, look, okay, my dad isn't going to be up for about fifteen minutes and we gotta get outta here. Well, you gotta get outta here.

Lana: You sure? 'Cause sticking around for breakfast sounds like fun.

Clark: What?!

Lana: Pass me my shoe. "We won't fall asleep. I promise." What else are we going to do at two o'clock in the morning?

Clark: You aren't mad, are you?

Lana: I'm furious.

[They kiss]

Clark: Am I dead?

Jor-El [in Lionel]: Your mortal journey is over, yes, but your eminent destiny is too important to sacrifice. You will return with all your natural gifts. Unfortunately, this rectification does not come without a price. The life of someone close to you will be exchanged for yours.

Clark: No. No, I would never ask for that.

Jor-El [in Lionel]: You already did. When you decided to relinquish your powers and disobey me. It was your choice.

Clark: Then just don't bring me back!

Jor-El [in Lionel]: It's too late. For everything in nature, there is a balance. The life force that has been returned to you will soon be taken from... from someone you love. You're about to face your darkest hour, my son. But, remember: The lessons that we learn from pain are the ones that make us the strongest.

Clark: I can't take that risk. I've risked too much already and now someone else is going to have to pay for it.

Chloe: Clark, is everything okay? What's going on?

Clark: I never should have given up my powers. Why didn't I listen to him? Chloe, I think I've made a terrible mistake.

Jonathan: Son, they told us you were dead.

Clark: I was.

Jonathan: Jor-El...

Clark: Yeah.

Martha: He returned your powers, didn't he?

Clark: I'm not human anymore. It's the only way I could come back.

Jonathan: We heard about a missile malfunction. You stopped it, didn't you? It's not easy to sacrifice the things you want the most to save other people. We're so proud of you, Clark.

Clark: The sacrifice would've been not coming back at all.

Lana: Clark's medical file.

Lex: That's confidential.

Lana: I heard you asked for it at the hospital. All of his test results came back normal. When are you going to realize, Lex, that he's just like the rest of us?

Lex: Do you really believe that, or is that what you have to tell yourself to stay in a relationship with him? You've had your doubts about him too. You can't deny it.

Lana: I was wrong. Believe me, there is nothing unusual about Clark. Except his ability to see the good in people who don't deserve it.

Lex: I think you're forgetting something, Lana. Whatever new lie he told you, however he swept it under the rug, a normal person doesn't rise from the dead.

Aqua[edit]

[5.04]

Lois: I just ran into Mrs. Kent at the Talon and right out of nowhere, she asked if I would like to move back in at the farm.

Clark: Yeah, right... Really?

Lois: I know, isn't that sweet? Oh, don't worry. You little snuggle bunnies can hop right on away. I'm a light sleeper. I'm going for a dip.

Clark: [to Lana] Do you think she could sleep through me smothering her with a pillow?

Chloe: So, I take it Lana hasn't gotten to peek into the confidential files of Clark Kent yet.

Clark: Chloe, you think I'm happy about having my powers back and lying about them? I didn't ask for this to happen.

Chloe: We didn't ask for a world that needs heroes, but the truth is we do. Now more than ever, Clark.

Professor Fine: History is not about facts. It's about the context and who is telling the story. So, what is history? What is herstory? What is your story, Mr. Kent? How will you affect the world around you for generations to come?

Clark: I'm not sure you can know that at eighteen.

Professor Fine: Tell that to Alexander the Great or, to bring it closer to home, Lex Luthor. Now, he's not much older than you are and yet he's turned his father's agro business into a leading defense contractor. He's gone from feeding people to killing them, and yet his story is that he's a white knight who's just put a small Kansas town on the map. Beware of white knights, people. They don't slay dragons. They train them for their own dark purpose. Think of Hitler, Stalin, Napoleon.

Clark: Lex isn't a saint, but I don't think you can put him in the same league as those guys.

Professor Fine: An honest opinion. I like that.

Professor Fine: Why else would the son of family farmers be defending such a man?

Clark: It's a long story, but Lex's not the man you make him out to be.

Professor Fine: Well, you know, Groucho Marx said there was only one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him. If he says yes, then he must be crooked.

Clark: I would think a college professor would be quoting Karl Marx, not Groucho.

Professor Fine: German philosophy is easy. Comedy's hard.

[Arthur "A.C." Curry (the future "Aquaman") bids Clark adieu.]

A.C.: Maybe when I'm finished saving the world, we could start a Junior Lifeguard Association.

Clark: Nah, I don't think I'm ready for the JLA yet.

Thirst[edit]

[5.05]

Professor Fine: The question is: will you leave your footprints on the history of time or let them be washed away by the tides of more powerful men? Mr. Kent, what about you?

Clark: Me? I, um...

Professor Fine: LuthorCorp practically owns your hometown Smallville. What if you found out that Lex Luthor, the emperor of the company, was a dangerous, unstable, megalomaniac, bent on destroying your world. Would you have the courage to try to stop him?

Professor Fine: Why would a man of your stature be so concerned with the comings and goings of a freshman farmboy?

Lex: If you know so much about me, Professor, I'm sure you realize I donate a considerable amount of funding to this university that allows me an unusual amount of access to the dean and the academic review board.

Professor Fine: Yeah, I know. The buying of influence is part of my second semester.

Lex: If you have a second semester.

Chloe: Okay, for someone with a keen weird-ar, I can't believe I did not see the signs, but I defy anyone to tell the difference between a nascent vampire and a freshman girl with a hangover.

Lana: I'm sorry it had to be this way, Clark. But we don't always get to choose who we are. Sometimes, our destiny leads us to places that we don't want to go, and there's nothing we can do about it.

Chloe: I got in on the ground floor of my dream. Okay, so it's actually the basement. But, it's Daily Planet! The paper of record for kings, presidents and prime ministers; not to mention future superheroes. The way I look at it, I had no place to go, but up, up, and away.

Exposed[edit]

[5.06]

Lois: Clark, look, I'm not great at this, so just keep your mouth shut and listen up. Even though I was kicking butt on the helicopter, it was really nice to have backup. And you didn't have to come after me, but you always do. So I wanted to say thank you. You're a really good friend. Oh, and about the lap dance. If you decide to tell anyone about it, your Elmer Fudd nightlight will make a very public appearance.

Clark: Aye-Aye... sailor.

Clark: Is it true, Lex?

Lex: You know, after you've been M.I.A. for weeks, I don't think a hello is too much to ask for.

Clark: How long you been planning to run for state senate?

Lex: Several months now, and if you're implying I should have told you, you might want to rethink the barrier you've drawn on this friendship.

Jack: You've never had a lie get out of hand? Or you've never been caught at it?

Jonathan: I've never been in a position where people look up to me. You are Clark's hero.

Jack: So I'm not supposed to have any faults, huh? Who can live up to that? You know why there's no heroes today? It's because at the end of the day, people don't respect them; they envy them. And they're just waiting for them to screw up.

Lex: Tell me what you remember about King David. Humor me.

Clark: King David... Slew Goliath, saved his people.

Lex: And afterward, he saw a beautiful woman bathing and fell madly in love. The problem was, she turned out to be his best friend's wife. So you know what our great hero did? He sent his best friend off to die in battle so he could have her to himself.

Clark: Kind of leave that part out, don't they?

Lex: We all need to believe in heroes, Clark, and even the best ones are far from perfect.

Jack: After 20 years, the man's still got a Hell of a knack for the guilt trip, doesn't he?

Clark: Usually works 'cause he's right.

Jack: Your father's always had some pretty high expectations of the people around him. He's the one man I never wanted to disappoint.

Clark: You should try being his son. The thing I always try to remember is, no matter how much he lays on, he never expects more than he expects of himself.

Jack: You think your dad will ever forgive me?

Clark: Yeah. I've given him a lot of trial runs in the forgiveness arena.

Splinter[edit]

[5.07]

Lionel: I know about Clark. Chloe Sullivan has supplied me with all the information I need: his true identity, the powers he possesses and uses. I know he's vulnerable to kryptonite. Accept my support, and I can guarantee you a seat in the senate.

Jonathan: And what happens if I don't accept?

Lionel: The truth about Clark will come out in any case. The only difference is how he'll be treated when we run the tests. He can either be a distinguished guest or strapped down, helpless like a lab rat. It's your choice.

Clark: Why are you doing this to me, Dad? Why are you doing this?! No more lies. Tell me the truth. Tell me!

Jonathan: You want the truth? You were never really my son. You're the thing I found in the corn field.

Lex: The investigation into Clark Kent has yielded a surprising revelation. Clark Kent is not of this earth. He is an alien; an intruder from a distant galaxy, the first vanguard of an invasion.

Clark: No! No! That's not what I am!

Lex: But I know his weakness. I know how to stop this strange visitor from another planet. I'm the one that's gonna kill you, Clark.

Professor Fine: Brutus and Caesar. Jesus and Judas. They all started out as best friends. What happened? Well, if history teaches us one thing, it's that even the most powerful men can be betrayed by those they trust the most. The reason betrayal is such a predominant theme throughout history is really quite simple. Duplicity is human nature.

Clark: You say "human" like it's a bad thing.

Professor Fine: Just going off what I've seen. This race shows promise, but at this point in history, they are still duplicitous by their very nature. Even the ones you think you love can't be trusted.

Clark: You don't know anything about this race. Yeah, they can be petty and dishonest and betray each other over nothing. But they can also be honest and loyal. And they would give up everything to protect someone they love. Even if they were from another planet.

Professor Fine: Kal-El...

Clark: My name is Clark. And I'll always believe in my friends and my family.

Professor Fine: I sincerely hope your trust hasn't been misplaced.

Solitude[edit]

[5.08]

Lois: Let me give you a little friendly advice: Bow out of the race before a pesky little squirrel digs up one of your rotten acorns.

Lex: Well, thanks, Lois. You know, there's nothing more valuable than the savvy political advice of a muffin-peddling college dropout. Speaking of, do you have banana blueberry today?

Clark: You know, Professor Fine said that human beings were insignificant and couldn't be depended on. He obviously didn't know you very well.

Chloe: Please. Robo-Professor knows as much about human nature as R2-D2.

Clark: He's my father. I have the right to know everything about him.

Professor Fine: I agree. When you're ready.

Clark: I'm ready now!

Professor Fine: Impatience is such a pathetic human trait. But I suppose it's to be expected from someone raised by such a primitive race.

Clark: I happen to care a great deal about this primitive race... a lot more than I do about Krypton.

Martha: You've given me so much happiness, Clark. I don't know what I would've been without you.

Clark: Without me, none of this would have happened.

Martha: Don't ever feel guilty about this. Do you hear me? I wouldn't have it any other way. You're gonna be fine. Look at you. You're a man now, Clark. A wonderful man. My job's done.

Professor Fine: The only way to save your mother is to destroy the fortress. Jor-El's will is controlling her virus through the crystals. If you bring down his fortress, you will save your mother from his grip.

Clark: All he's ever done is try to ruin my life.

Professor Fine: Sadly, that was his legacy on Krypton, as well.

Clark: I want him gone.

Clark: Dad we both know Jor-El's not the type to just let things go.

Jonathan: Clark, when it comes down to it, none of us are going to be around forever. We can't dwell on that. I think the trick is just to live your life to its fullest. Make sure you spend as much time as you possibly can with the people you love.

Lexmas[edit]

[5.09]

Lex: Much like Ebenezer Scrooge, I realized that what I want more than anything is to live happily ever after. And do you know what the secret to living happily ever after is? Power. Money and power. See, once you have those two things, you can secure everything else... and keep it that way.

Lex: Dr. Litvack told me the odds of survival I had going into surgery. Pretty reckless roll of the dice, don't you think?

Lionel: On the contrary, son. What I did may appear callous, but opting for my son to have surgery was a deliberate decision.

Lex: But it wasn't your decision to make, was it? You went against the doctors' advice not because you wanted to save me, but because you couldn't bear having a cripple for a son.

Lionel: You may hate me for taking the risk, but I had to make a choice. And you're alive, and you can walk. I had to give you that chance.

Lex: And what if I hadn't made it? How would you have justified your decision then? How dare you play God with my life.

Lex: Oh, not to worry, Griff. We Luthors are made of pretty tough and definitely expensive material.

Lex: I want you to pull the pin on that grenade. Find it, fake it... do whatever it takes to knock Jonathan Kent out of the race. I want to be senator. I want it all.

Griff: Consider it done. Merry Christmas.

Fanatic[edit]

[5.10]

Chloe: I know you didn't come by this late at night just to drop off this press release. What happened?

Clark: How far do you want to cross the friendship boundary?

Chloe: Since when do we have boundaries?... All right, why don't you just leave out the details?

Clark: Well, everything was fine between Lana and I when I was human. I mean, it was great.

Chloe: [prodding him] Okay, Clark...

Clark: But now I have my abilities, it's like our... sex... life has been on hiatus.

Chloe: Oh. I know I'm gonna regret asking this question, but why?

Clark: It takes some time for me to adjust my abilities to new situations.

Chloe: Wow. Uh, awkward factor 8. So basically what you're saying is that you're afraid that in the heat of the moment you might... please don't make me finish this sentence, Clark.

Clark: Well, you see, that's the thing. I'm not sure what would happen. I mean if I couldn't control myself...

Chloe: Okay, you know, Clark, right there that's something that can't never be unseen.

Clark: It's not funny.

Chloe: No, you're right, it's not. It's just that this conversation definitely cements me as your Krypto-hag.

[discussing Clark pulling away from Lana]

Lana: It just feels like you're afraid to touch me anymore. Did something happen? Clark? Okay, is this where I have to remind you that you're the one who said we wouldn't keep things from each other?

Clark: Why is this about me? I mean, you're the one that pulled away first. You moved to Metropolis two weeks after we got together. And now you spend every moment with these books. Why astronomy?

Lana: It's homework.

Clark: It's an obsession. And that thing about honesty? It works both ways.

Lana: Nice deflection, but I don't fall for that anymore.

Lockdown[edit]

[5.11]

[Clark super speeds out of the room]

Chloe: Damn, I wish I could do that.

Lex: [delirious] Do you think I'd look better with hair?

Lana: Um, I don't know. I've never thought about it.

Lex: Oh, I have. I've thought about a lot of things... Clark has really nice hair.

Lana: Yeah. Yeah, I guess he does.

Lex: Does he know?

Lana: That he has nice hair?

Chloe: Clark! Can you at least put on the brakes before you tornado my homework?

Clark: Sorry.

Reckoning[edit]

[5.12]

Clark: [after confessing his secret] Do I look different to you now?

Lana: Clark, you look like the same handsome guy I've always known.

Clark: Handsome as in "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you" or handsome as in "I'm gonna let you down easy?"

Lana: As in "Yes, Clark, I'll marry you."

Lana: What would you do if you thought you knew someone really well, and it turns out that there's this... whole other side to them?

Lois: Well, that depends. Are we in arms-dealer territory, or are we talking w:The Crying Game?

Lana: Nothing like that.

Lois: Then I guess the question is, does it change the way you feel about him?

Lana: Maybe.

Lois: Look, I don't know what's going on, but I would be lucky to end up with someone as honorable as Clark some day.

Jor-El: Human life is fragile, my son. You knew her life would be exchanged for yours.

Clark: Don't make her pay for my mistake! If I hadn't told her the truth about me, she'd still be alive! You have to let me fix it.

Jor-El: Your powers on Earth may seem extraordinary, Kal-El, but we are not gods.

Clark: There has to be a way to fix this. Please.

Jor-El: There's one trial you have yet to experience, but you must heed my warning. The tide of fate is impossible to stop. Even if you are able to alter one course of events, the universe will find others. There is only one crystal. Once you make this choice, there is no second chance. Decide carefully.

Clark: I have to save her.

Martha: Clark... a heart beats only so many times in a life. Your father used his more than anyone I know.

Clark: I just don't know how I'm supposed to be the man he wanted me to be without him here.

Martha: You're his son. You know what's right and wrong. And whether your father is here with us or not, you're a man he's proud of... a man he could look up to. And something tells me he won't be the only one.

Vengeance[edit]

[5.13]

Lionel: It must be humbling to pull all those strings and find out they're attached to nothing.

Lex: Especially when your father's the one holding the scissors.

Lionel: What good is having a family if they don't watch out for each other?

Lex: On the off chance that unshakable family loyalty fails, there's always those Luthor closets to rummage through.

Lionel: All right, let's skip the prologue, Lex. What ancient skeleton do you think you've dug up this time?

Lex: Well, it's not quite a skeleton yet. More like a freshly laid corpse... I wonder how Martha Kent would feel if she knew you had a secret meeting with her husband right before he died. Now, a transgression like that would test the virtues of even the most forgiving woman.

Clark: I should have listened to you, Chloe. You tried to warn me. I had my hands around that guy's throat, and I thought that if I just kept squeezing the life out of him, then it would make everything right again.

Chloe: God, Clark. But you didn't?

Clark: No.

Chloe: What made you stop?

Clark: My dad's voice. This is going to sound weird, but I could hear him. He was the one that always kept me from going over the edge when I was too close.

Chloe: Do you think you could ever do what she did? Play the mild-mannered reporter by day and a crime-fighter by night?

Clark: Honestly, I'm kind of hoping I can find a way to not have to hide who I really am.

Tomb[edit]

[5.14]

Clark: Why haven't you gone to see her?

Chloe: Well because, because I'm afraid. I mean what if I look in her eyes and I see myself?

Clark: What if you wait too long and you never get the chance to look into her eyes again? She's your mother, she always will be. It's not going to change no matter what.

Clark: Lois, you don't know what goes on there. Do you really want Lex and these doctors getting inside Chloe's head?

Lois: If it makes her feel better, I don't care if Daffy Duck whacks her with a mallet!

Chloe: Guys, I'm drugged, not deaf.

Chloe: Clark, I'm a writer. If I was going to kill myself, I would've written one hell of a suicide note.

Cyborg[edit]

[5.15]

[Clark confronts Lana's mysterious car-crash "victim" outside the hospital.]

Clark: She said she hit you full on and you're not even hurt. How'd you manage that?

Victor: Milk. Does a body good.

[Clark bursts in on Lex.]

Clark: We need to talk!

Lex: And you should work on your entrance, Clark. Bit abrupt, don't you think?

Clark: What do you know about Syntechnics?

Lex: See, now that's exactly what I mean. No small talk, no pleasantries — just straight to the accusations.

Clark: I haven't accused you of anything.

Lex: You don't have to. Your, uh, righteous tone says it all. So what am I have supposed to have done this time?

Victor: I'd say thank you, but... the words just seem too small.

Clark: And completely unnecessary.

Victor: Your mom raised you modest, didn't she?

Hypnotic[edit]

[5.16]

Chloe: Every single one of us has gone through some sort of an identity crisis at one point or another. It's like a rite of passage in Smallville.

Chloe: I just don't get it. I mean, if it was Red "K", you wouldn't be doing chores. And if it was Silver "K", you'd be afraid that pitchfork over there would turn you into a shish kabob.

Chloe: Oh my God. I just knocked out Martha Kent.

Lois: Well, considering she was about to redecorate her wallpaper with my brain matter, I don't think you had a choice!

Lex: Clark, you've been hypnotized. How else could you throw me across the room like that?

Lois: Face it, Clark is no different then any other red-blooded male. His brain is not his commanding officer.

Void[edit]

[5.17]

Jonathan: [to Clark] This is your destiny, son. You are going to touch the lives of so many people. Not just as a man, but as a symbol. You're a symbol of peace. You're a symbol of justice. And now it's time for you to go.

Lex: Is this going to be another apology?

Lana: Well, they don't make a card for "Sorry I got you killed."

Clark: You died because of me. When Jor-El brought me back to life and restored my powers... he told me there'd be a price - the life of someone I love. I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry.

Jonathan: Clark... believe me you have nothing to be sorry about. I lived a full, wonderful life. I had everything a husband or a father could ever possibly dream of. I am so very proud that I died protecting you.

Clark: Protecting me from what?

Jonathan: Lionel Luthor, Clark. He knows your secret. He knows everything. You can't stay here, son. You've got to keep your mother safe. You've got to keep the whole world safe.

Chloe: Well I'll reach out to my source and see if they know anything else. Clark, don't worry about it. You won the first fight. My money's on you in the rematch.

Clark: Chloe, I don't think Fine is the only thing we need to worry about. When I was injected with the serum and died, I saw my father.

Chloe: Oh my God, Clark.

Clark: Yeah, he told me there's someone else who knows my secret - Lionel Luthor.

Chloe: Well you can't be sure. I mean what you saw it could have been a hallucination. You know a manifestation of your desires and fears.

Clark: Chloe, I could feel my father. It was real. I know it in my heart.

Lillian: What was it then that brought you to me? Oh yes, you were shot coming out of a meeting with the man you hired to destroy Jonathan Kent's reputation, so you could become senator. How'd that turn out, by the way?

Lex: If you're really my dead mother, wouldn't you know?

Lillian: It was a rhetorical question, Alexander; of course I know.

Fragile[edit]

[5.18]

Clark: Chloe, if my parents hadn't found me in that field, it could have been me in the foster care system, scaring people with my powers, being accused of crimes I didn't commit.

Chloe: Yeah, and Clark, one of your greatest powers is your unrelenting faith in people.

Maddie: Clark, did you ever meet your real dad?

Clark: Sort of...

Maddie: Was he bad like mine?

Clark: Maybe worse. But just because he gave me life doesn't mean I'm anything like him. See, the thing is, Maddie, anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.

Mercy[edit]

[5.19]

Lionel: I've been expecting you, Kal-El.

Clark: How long have you known?

Lionel: From the moment I held in my hand the crystal that helped to create your Fortress of Solitude.

Clark: The one that put you in a coma.

Lionel: Coma? I like to think of it as... a state of contemplative repose.

Clark: You've known my secret for almost a year.

Lionel: Yes.

Clark: Why haven't you done anything?

Lionel: What? Expose you to the world? A strange visitor from another planet? I've tried to tell you-I am not your enemy. To reveal your secret would change your destiny. And it would harm someone I care about very deeply.

Clark: You had a choice: To kill my mother or to kill yourself.

Lionel: I could never harm your mother. There was no choice.

Clark: Yeah. [pause] Unless you knew the gun wasn't loaded.

Lionel: You have no reason to believe anything I say. I realize that. I hope eventually you will come to trust me. I only want what's best for you and your mother, son.

Clark: [angrily] You don't call me that. Jonathan Kent was my father.

Lionel: No. I'm not trying to take his place.

Clark: You couldn't. My mother seems to think there may be some good in you, but I'm not so sure.

Lionel: It takes time, Clark. Maybe you will be.

Clark: Or maybe you'll just show your true colors. Secret or no secret, you stay away from my mother, or you'll wish I'd never saved your life.

Lionel: It was you, Lex. I know it.

Lex: What?

Lionel: Disabling my limo in the path of an oncoming train. You know that kind of melodrama went out of style with silent movies.

Lex: I may not like you very much, Dad, but you're a valuable asset to LuthorCorp. Killing you would hurt the bottom line.

Lionel: Your concern is truly touching.

Lionel: Well I'm just thankful the elevator safety breaks slowed us down enough to survive the fall.

Lex: Yeah, you should be. Especially since Cole disabled them.

Lionel: That's enough to make a man believe in miracles. Isn't, son?

Lex: I don't suppose Clark had any thing to do with that divine intervention?

Chloe: [about Lionel] Why don't you let me use that as an in, you know, to find out what he's really up to?

Clark: What if he finds out what you're up to? It's too risky.

Chloe: Oh, and waiting for Darth Luthor to hatch his evil plan isn't?

Fade[edit]

[5.20]

Chloe: Come on, Clark. Pick up the pace- somewhere between a brisk walk and super speed. The star witness testifies in fifteen minutes.

Clark: Not that I mind being your "Boy Friday" and all, but I don't understand why you need an escort.

Chloe: I don't. I just thought a nice little field trip to the courthouse might help reignite that journalism spark.

Clark: I hate to break it [Chloe gives Clark a press pass] to you, but my ace-reporter days ended when I left The Torch.

Chloe: All right, then consider it a much needed get-off-the-farm pass. Look, Clark, I know this has been the year from hell - and that was before you broke up with Lana. There are only so many days you can hole yourself up in that loft before I pull an intervention.

Clark: I am not holed up. It's just... ever since I found out Lionel knows my secret I've been waiting for a bomb to go off.

Chloe: Well, don't duck and cover just yet. For all we know, he may never even light the fuse.

Clark: This is Lionel Luthor we're talking about.

Lois: Official warning - I'm a third degree black belt. That means I can't be held liable for any funeral costs.

Martha: So, how are you? Clark told me what happened.

Lois: Me? I'm fine. Getting swept off my feet by a notorious hit man is my way of living la vida loca.

Clark: I guess this a bad time to ask for a favor?

Chloe: Are you kidding me? The amount of times you saved my butt you can pull a coin from the favor bank anytime you need. What's up?

Clark: Somebody sent me a 50-inch plasma with all the bells and whistles; forgot to sign the gift card.

Chloe: Clark, that's not a problem. That's winning the Trifecta. When's movie night?

Lana: Actually, I wasn't your only visitor. Clark stopped by earlier.

Lex: Really?

Lana: Yeah.

Lex: It's too bad it takes a near-death experience to bring old friends together.

Oracle[edit]

[5.21]

[Clark and Chloe sneak into Lionel's office at night.]

Clark: Let's look for anything my dad might be warning me about.

Chloe: Okay, it might take a minute. I can't exactly search for a file called "My Evil Scheme".

[Clark is choking Lionel with Fine [as Jonathan] behind him]

Fine [as Jonathan]: Yeah, so go on, son, and avenge my death.

Lionel: Your father would never make you a murderer, Clark.

Fine [as Jonathan]: Kill him!

Lex: One more thing, Clark. Lana called me. I don't want to hear you rifling through her stuff like a crazy roommate again. If you want something from me, don't go running to Lana to find it. You really crossed the line.

Clark: All those years we were friends, were you just waiting for me to step aside, so you could swoop in and make your move?

Lex: I don't know, Clark. All those years you told Lana you loved her, were you just waiting to walk away and break her heart? Look, there's a natural tendency to blame the person who's replaced you. I get that. But I didn't take Lana from you. You lost her all by yourself.

Lois: I thought you would be outside Lana's dorm with your binoculars by now.

Clark: I appreciate your concern, but Lana and I are none of your business.

Lois: Please, Smallville, I've had three exes put under military surveillance. I'm hardly qualified to deal out post-relationship tact. But...it's for some tough love. Lana's going to move on.

Clark: She already has - Lex.

Lois: And it sucks, but you gotta trust your gut that you did this for a reason. For whatever reasons guys have for dumping hot, smart, fun girls these days. Look, give her some space, Clark. Your whole night-stalker routine? That's gonna any good feelings that Lana has for you.

Clark: If there are any.

Lois: Look, sometimes you gotta tuck your feelings away until it's the right time. Like stuffing dollars into a piggy bank for a bike you can't quite afford.

Clark: Except I can't quite imagine there is anyone is out there.

Lois: Oh, you never know, Clark. Even if you finally crack open that piggy bank, you found all this time you haven't been saving for a bike. You been really saving it for a Harley.

Clark: There are times when think you don't know me at all...and others where I think you know me better than anyone.

Lois: That's what I'm here for, Smallville - one save at a time.

Vessel[edit]

[5.22]

Professor Fine: Humans. They are so fragile. They'll never survive without their technology, no matter how crude. Take that away and they'll devolve back to the animals they really are.

Clark: If you thought this friendship was so doomed from the beginning, then why did you fight so hard to keep it?

Lex: Because I wanted everything you had; the family, the inconspicuous life, the loyal girlfriend. Well, at least I walked away with the part you love the most.

Clark: Jor-El wants me to kill the person who will be the vessel. Zod will possess a human form, destroy Earth just as he did Krypton. But I can't kill anyone. You of all people should know that.

Lionel: Clark, the real test of a hero is knowing when the greater good will be served by an evil act. To save the Earth, the cost of one life is the price that must be paid.

Clark: Even if that life is your son?

Lex: Ever since that day on the bridge, you've always seen yourself as my savior; the one thing that would pull me off the dark path I'd started. See, that's why you cling to the idea that there's still some good in me. You don't want to face the fact that you might have failed.

Clark: Or maybe I just can't believe that someone would have so little willpower.

Lex: It's a little hard to compete with the iron willpower it takes to kill one of your best friends.

Zod [in Lex]: You have your father's eyes... hello, Kal-El.

Clark: Where's Lex?

Zod [in Lex]: Lex is dead.

Clark: Why are you here?

Zod [in Lex]: For the same reason as anyone who'd been imprisoned like a beast. Revenge. Your father banished me to an eternal hell, trying to save a doomed race. But, in the end, the only survivor of his pathetic crusade was his son.

Clark: Then this is between us. These people have done nothing to harm you.

Zod [in Lex]: No. But you feel no pain greater than to see others in agony.

Clark: I won't let you destroy this planet like you did Krypton.

Zod [in Lex]: You don't have a choice. Unless you join me.

Clark: I'll never join you.

Zod [in Lex]: I hope that's a decision you'll be able to live with... forever.

Season 6[edit]

Zod[edit]

[6.01]

Martha: Every world needs its heroes, Clark. They inspire us to be better than we are. And they protect us from the darkness that's just around the corner.

Martha: I've lost my husband and now my son because of your games!

Jor-El: We have both lost much, Martha Kent. But you must put aside your anguish if you wish to save your world.

Raya: Zod is a soldier. He will kill you.

Clark: If there was a way for you to save everyone you loved, wouldn't you risk dying?

Raya: You truly are your father's son.

Zod [in Lex]: So easily beaten. Disappointing.

Clark: I won't let you destroy Earth, like you did Krypton.

Zod [in Lex]: Jor-El couldn't stop me, and neither will his son.

Clark: Then I'll die trying.

Zod [in Lex]: But you won't be the only one. These humans you care so much about... swear your allegiance to me, and I'll allow the ones you love the most to live...Kneel before Zod.

Lex: Look, I can never make up for what happened. All I can do is move forward and try to rebuild everything I've damaged.

Lana: That might not be easy.

Lex: Well, nothing worth it ever is.

Sneeze[edit]

[6.02]

Lex: Well I forgot what a concerned parent you are. That's why you're having me followed, isn't it? To make sure I don't destroy the rest of the world?

Lionel: If I were having you followed, son, you would never know it. I can guarantee you that.

Chloe: When you escaped from that Kryptonian Land of the Lost, I bet you didn't think that you'd be rewarded by having to save Lex Luthor while battling a raging head cold, huh?

Clark: Not exactly the goodbye gift I was expecting, no.

Chloe: I guess heroes don't get sick days.

Chloe: Clark, with a sneeze like yours, that says a lot about your lung capacity. Now just take a really deep breath and blow it out as hard as you can.

Clark: That's a steel door, it's not a birthday cake.

Chloe: I don't see anything else working. Come on, let's see what you got. Huff, puff, and blow this door down. [Clark blows] Good thing you didn't have garlic today.

Chloe: You just take care of that cold. We've enough natural disasters around here without having to worry about Hurricane Clark looming off the coast.

Lois: Miracles really do happen: man walked on the moon, call waiting was created, and Lois Lane got her first by-line on the front page of the Inquisitor.

Chloe: Hey, that's great, Lo. I don't know how I feel about the alien angle, but...

Lois: I wasn't too crazy about the E.T. spin, either, but my editor insisted it'd help sell papers, so...

Clark: Well, let's hear it for journalistic integrity.

Lois: Look, I swear, you guys, when I was writing that article, I don't know... I don't think I've ever been happier in my life. The thrill of discovery, the clacking of keys, the scent of fresh ink. Yeah, I think I've finally found my calling.

Wither[edit]

[6.03]

Lex: Happiness is just a feeling of euphoria. It's your brain chemistry going into overdrive. That's why so many relationships fail when the honeymoon ends and reality sets in.

Lana: Wow, have you always been such a romantic?

Clark: Hey, how goes life living with Lois?

Chloe: Closer to coffee, further from sanity, but, you know, until Metropolis University reopens, I guess... what is it they say about a gift horse?

Clark: "Stay away from the mouth," which is difficult because Lois uses hers so much.

Lex: You've always had an eye for beauty. It's a Latin name, formositas falsus. "Beauty that belies a dark nature."

Clark: So, even your plants have hidden agendas.

Lex: Well, I guess it all comes down to survival of the fittest. Doesn't it?

Clark: A strange vine has cropped up over the ridge at Lone Pine. It's attacking people.

Lex: And naturally you came to my little shop of horrors to foil my ingenious plot to repopulate the planet with vegetation. Sorry, Clark. I'm all out of evil.

Lois: [to Oliver] Well, I wasn't going to give it to you, but the tights... you're totally pulling it off.

Lex: You should see him in a tutu.

Oliver Queen: Lex Luthor... with a girl that he doesn't have to inflate.

Gloria: Kryptonians, always so hard and cold.

Clark: You can't go home. I can't let you stay. What are we gonna do?

Gloria: We'll have to let nature decide.

Arrow[edit]

[6.04]

Oliver: This is funny. You know, the way Lois talked about you, I thought you were gonna be a little bit more of a...

Clark: Little more what? Of a geek?

Lois: Well, you're not exactly jumping the velvet ropes at nightclubs, so...

Clark: It's really nice to see that Lois has found someone who can overlook her personality.

Oliver: Oh, don't worry about it, Clark. If I lived under the same roof with such a beautiful woman, I probably would mask my feelings in sarcasm, too.

Oliver: [discussing Lois investigating the Green Arrow] Look, forget about this guy for the weekend. I can have you in Cancun by sunset, sipping margaritas.

Lois: Well, as much as I'd love to be your beach bimbo, the only person I'll be spending my weekend with is into leather and has a perverted fetish for archery.

Green Arrow: Looks like I'm not the only one with a secret. I hate to break it to you, tough guy, but you're on the wrong side.

Clark: I'm not sure the police would agree.

Green Arrow: Look around you. The days of the good guy running the show are over.

Chloe: So, how did you let this guy slip through your fingers?

Clark: This Green Arrow Bandit's got a lot of gadgets.

Chloe: Gadgets? Against the Man of Steel?

Clark: He's good, all right?

Chloe: Fine, backing off. The Green Arrow Bandit? Is that really the name Lois came up with? If you ask me, I'd lose the "Bandit," but, not my story.

Green Arrow: I saved you.

Lois: Yeah, from goons who were trying to find you. They're not the only one with a "V" for vendetta on your little leather ass.

Green Arrow: Little? I've been really working the glutes lately, too.

Lois: Did the humor come with the costume?

Green Arrow: Did the Tomb Raider routine come from wanting daddy's attention?

Oliver: Clark, you have abilities I couldn't even dream of. And I admire that you use them to save the people you're close to.

Clark: But?

Oliver: But there's a whole world of people out there, Clark. They need us. With your potential... you can't wait for them to come to you. When you're ready to do something about that, you let me know.

Reunion[edit]

[6.05]

Oliver: Clark, I was wondering if my security system would keep someone like you out.

Clark: Looks like you need an upgrade.

Oliver: Or you need to learn how to knock.

Oliver: I was thinking about developing a boxing-glove arrow, and then I thought, "come up with something a little fancier." [shoots an arrow] Contained Electromagnetic Pulse. Knocks out everything electrical within an 8-foot radius: cameras, laser systems... pacemakers. That last one was a joke, Clark.

Clark: I'm laughing on the inside.

Oliver: Maybe we'll get lucky one day and it'll bubble to the surface.

Young Lex: What are you going do?

Duncan: I'm going help people, like Warrior Angel.

Young Lex: You better hit the gym. Spandex is tough to pull off.

Lois: We've all done things we're not proud of. I just wish that Oliver didn't feel like he had to hide it from me.

Clark: You know, sometimes in order to protect the people we love, we keep secrets.

Lois: That is... totally retarded.

Clark: Making the wrong choices and living with the consequences... it's not easy, is it?

Oliver: Speaking from experience, huh?

Clark: More than I'd like.

Oliver: You know, we all make bad choices, Clark. All we can do is hope to make the right ones in the future, right?

Fallout[edit]

[6.06]

Chloe: Jimmy, this isn't a story. It's a hunch. Besides what were you doing playing stalker-azzi in the middle of the night following Lex Luthor around?

Jimmy Olsen: Being proactive, hopefully nailing a front-page shot. You don't think some back-alley hand-off is suspicious?

Chloe: I think Lex Luthor getting out of bed in the morning is suspicious.

Clark: I haven't been the best son.

Raya: Your father was hard on himself, too. He felt guilty that he couldn't save Krypton. His only redemption was sending you to save Earth.

Clark: Save it from what?

Raya: Extinction. Your civilization is going to destroy itself, just like Krypton. You should know this. It was part of your training.

Clark: I haven't started my training. Now the Fortress is damaged. Jor-El tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. I mean, how could I trust someone who brought so much pain into my life?

Raya: Pain is a part of anyone's journey, Kal-El. You can't escape it. You must accept your destiny.

Baern: So this is Jor-El's famed Fortress of knowledge. I thought it'd be bigger.

Clark: It doesn't matter. You won't be staying long.

Baern: Big talk, big man. I'm surprised you're still standing. I guess Jor-El was right about how the yellow sun affects you Kryptonian cockroaches. But I'm back. And now, I'm supersized. This is the perfect place for the fall of the House of El. Paying for the sins of your father can be a bitch.

Martha: It looks like Krypton gave us more than one hero.

Clark: Mom, I know how much you love me and how much dad... but I've always felt different. Because I am. And Raya was the first person I ever met who could really understand that. And I don't think I ever really thought about what I'd lost... a family, a whole race of people who were just like me. For the first time, I'm ready to stop running from who I really am... from my destiny

Rage[edit]

[6.07]

Lex: What do you think is faster, an arrow or a bullet?

Green Arrow: There's only one way to find out.

Clark: You're looking awfully healthy.

Oliver: It's called exercise, Clark. It's something we mere mortals have to do from time to time.

Clark: According to the Daily Planet, the Green Arrow was shot last night.

Oliver: If I was shot, don't you think I'd be laying in a hospital or a morgue? I'm not bulletproof like you are, Clark.

Oliver: Apparently, you were too busy using your powers to bale hay than to realize there's a crime wave in Metropolis. Let me ask you a question. Are you ever gonna get off your ass and finally do something for a change?

Clark: I didn't come here to be insulted.

Oliver: Well you know what? There's the door. I don't remember you being invited.

Clark: Oliver, what's going on with you?

Oliver: Clark, I don't need to take advice from someone whose only worry in life is to protect his own identity.

Clark: Oliver, you're not a killer!

Oliver: No, but he is, Clark. You and I both know the world's a better place without Lex Luthor.

Clark: That's not for us to decide.

Clark: What made you come to your senses?

Oliver: Actually, you did. This whole time, I just wanted to be like Clark Kent, you know? I wanted to... I wanted to have the ability to bring justice to the world without having to worry about getting killed in the process. And then something occurred to me, and I realized that Clark Kent would never take another man's life. I came within an inch of doing just that. I'm not even in your league.

Clark: Oliver, you do a lot of good in this world. You don't need to be indestructible to be a hero.

Static[edit]

[6.08]

Chloe: [to Clark] Look, I understand that you feel like all these psychopathic space invaders are your fault, but you can't keep it all inside. You feel the need to carry the world on your shoulders, and that's noble. But there are other people out there who want to help you fight the good fight, and you need to let them in. Because sometimes even heroes need to be saved.

Subterranean[edit]

[6.09]

Lex: I thought I told you you're no longer a welcome guest at the mansion.

Clark: Trust me, Lex, I don't want to be here either. But after what you've done...

Lex: And exactly what did I do? Did I swat a fly with too much force?

Chloe: Come on, Clark, you put a psycho killer away and you reunited a mother with her son. I mean, there are only so many hours in the day.

Clark: Well, see, that's the thing. No matter how many people I save, I can't solve the world's problems.

Chloe: I don't know anyone else who does more for this world than you.

Clark: You realize the only reason Lex is doing this is to wash his hands of it.

Lana: Lex had no idea what was going on on that farm.

Clark: Lana, you don't believe that.

Lana: Unlike some people I know, Lex doesn't lie to me.

Clark: Or he just wants his name clear of murder and slavery, so he sends a messenger to do his cleanup work.

Hydro[edit]

[6.10]

Lois: I don't get it. Of all the photographers in Metropolis, how is it that you end up with the first shots of our merry archer?

Jimmy: My connections.

Lois: No. Really.

Jimmy: Uh, well, the guy doesn't get out of the Suicide Slums much, so I just hung out there for a few weeks... in my car with my pepper spray and the doors locked.

Lois: This is it? A bunch of arms and legs? Nice work, hotshot. I mean, you didn't even manage to catch one shot of his face. All these tell me about Green Arrow is that he needs a band-aid.

Jimmy: Preliminary investigation is calling it suicide, but how's a guy who's larger than life drown in two feet of water?

Chloe: Well, his career was over. And Lake was right; the coroner's report says that Dawson was juiced up on muscle mixers.

Jimmy: Chloe, come on, you're going to tell me that someone on a 'roid rage is going to lie down in a koi pond and call it a day?

Chloe: (sees the picture of Lois' kiss with Green Arrow) Oh, I feel dirty...

Jimmy: Think about how Oliver feels. Lois and Clark put this whole scheme together because they thought Oliver was Green Arrow, but then- pow!- the poor sucker catches her sucking lip with leather daddy.

Clark: People keep secrets for a reason.

Lois: I don't know. If you ask me, I think a secret is just a big loophole in the whole "thou shall not lie" clause.

Clark: There's just no gray area with you, is there?

Lois: Not when someone I thought I knew better than anyone has been keeping the biggest secret of all.

Clark: What are you talking about?

Lois: What would you do if one day you realized someone close to you had a serious hero complex?

Clark: Hero complex?

Lois: Hiding his true identity from everyone he supposedly cares about? You can't tell me you wouldn't find something wrong with that.

Clark: Who exactly are we talking about?

Chloe: Clark, before you unload your anger on me, can I just say that I think it is incredibly unfair that everyone trusts me to keep their secrets, and then they turn around and they throw me attitude for keeping someone else's secret! Look, I'm sorry that I had to take a two-second breather from hiding the fact that you are an alien from another planet to protect someone else for a change! God! [Clark hugs her] You had that coming, you know?

Clark: For the record... I prefer "intergalactic traveler" over "alien from another planet."

Chloe: The craziest part is he chucked a guy across an alley, right? [Lois: Oh yeah] And then supersped away. I mean, WHO does that?

Clark: Hmm. [pause] It's a good thing when Oliver showed up when he did. Then you know for sure.

Chloe: Oh, she knew before he showed up.

Clark: You did?

Chloe: Ask her how.

Clark: How?

Lois: I kissed him.

Chloe: Isn't that romantic? [Clark sighs and nods] Oh, I'm sorry Lois. Finish the story. [Clark tries to interrupt] This is the best part.

Lois: Hmmm. Well, he was holding me in his arms, and - Ollie's a good kisser, don't get me wrong - but that Green Arrow? He could teach Ollie a thing or two.

Justice[edit]

[6.11]

Oliver: Rain check?

Lois: Sure. I'll just put it next to the rest of the umbrellas you keep handing me. I mean, is it just me or is this relationship all interruptus and no coitus?

Bart: I want a lawyer.

Lex: And I want a ponytail! Disappointment abounds.

Victor: Ollie found me. I was living on the streets. He gave me a warm meal, roof over my head... and a reason to go on living.

Oliver: Did he just say something nice about me?

A.C.: Maybe he's starting to rust.

Clark: A.C., how'd you fall into all this?

A.C.: I got into a little trouble sinking a whaler off the coast of Japan.

Victor: A little trouble? That's what you're gonna go with? Ollie had to save your scaly butt from getting filleted.

A.C.: I would have gotten out of it.

Oliver: Before or after they packed you into a thousand little tin cans?

Victor: Well, at least he would have been dolphin-safe.

A.C.: Fish jokes. That's all I ever get are fish jokes.

Oliver: Green Arrow to Watchtower, Boy Scout's out of the woods.

Clark: "Boy Scout"?

Oliver: Maybe if you hadn't run off all half-cocked, you could have picked your own code name.

Lex: You.

Green Arrow: You remember. I'm touched.

Lex: Well, it's a little hard to forget. Last time we met, you put an arrow in my chest.

Green Arrow: You put a bullet in mine. Bygones?

Lex: Go to hell.

Green Arrow: You first.

Victor: Cyborg to Aquaman. Where the hell are you fish-stick?

(A door opens and Cyborg see a lot of guards in the floor)

A.C.: What took you so long?

Victor: Nice! But please, put a shirt on.

A.C.: I swim faster when I´m naked.

Victor: I bet you do.

A.C.: (Smiles to Cyborg) You're lucky I still have my pants on.

Oliver: Ever since my parents died, I've jumped around from city to city, from continent to continent and in all those years, not once have I regretted leaving anyone. But then I met you.

Lois: Then stay.

Oliver: I can't. Because there are more important things in this world than what I want... and what I love. Someday I can explain why.

Lois: Don't expect me to be waiting around for that when you get back.

Oliver: I'm not coming back, Lois. At least not any time soon. I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.

Lois: Well, you finally got around to it anyway, didn't you?

Oliver: This is it, the moment, right? The moment that I'm gonna regret for the rest of my life, isn't it?

Lois: Yes.

Clark: Impulse, Cyborg, Aquaman, Green Arrow. What do you guys call your team?

Bart: I don't know. I've been thinking, you know, that we need something cool. We need something like... like-

Oliver: I was thinking about something with the word "justice" in it. After all, that's what Lex is gonna get a big dose of.

Labyrinth[edit]

[6.12]

Dr. Hudson: You suffer from paranoid schizophrenia. You have for a number of years... after the death of your birth parents in the Smallville meteor shower.

Clark: See, it's not true. My birth parents were out of town for the meteor shower.

Dr. Hudson: You were placed in the wonderful adoptive home of the Kents. But like many children, you invented a make-believe world to help you deal with the trauma you endured. You convinced yourself that you came from another planet, that you possessed special powers and you used them to save humanity.

John: You're not crazy, Kal-El. We don't have much time, so listen to me closely. I believe you're from another planet.

Clark: What makes you say that?

John: Because like you, I'm not from here. I come from Mars. You can't trust anyone.

Clark: I know who I am!

Dr. Hudson: I'm not sure you do. Your name is Clark Kent, not Kal-El. And Jor-El isn't your father.

[Dr. Hudson shows Clark a bottle of soap labeled "Jorel"]

Woman: [over an intercom] Dr. Fine, Dr. Milton Fine, please report to level three, stat.

Dr. Hudson: When the human mind has faced tremendous emotional pain, it has no choice but to protect itself. You've taken bits and pieces of your surroundings and created an alternate universe where you feel safe and secure. Clark... in a world where you truly have no power, you chose to give yourself superpowers.

Lana: Okay. Let's say that I am a hallucination... and that your world really does exist. I'm about to marry your greatest enemy. You're an alien from another planet who's responsible for so much tragedy. Do you really want to live in that reality?

Clark: I don't know what to believe anymore.

Lana: Don't you just want to take this treatment and be with me?

Clark: Of course I want to be with you... more than you could ever imagine.

Lana: Then stop fighting, please. You've lived like this for so long, carried this burden of being a hero. It's time to just let go and live a normal life.

Clark: I've never been normal.

Lana: Your destiny isn't to save the world, Clark. It's to be with me for the rest of our lives.

Lana: Are you gonna tell me? What's that look in your eye?

Clark: I had a dream about you last night.

Lana: I hope that it wasn't a nightmare.

Clark: No! We were 10 years old and I gave you a plastic ring from of a gumball machine in Quinn's Market.

Lana: That's sweet. What was the occasion?

Clark: It was an engagement ring.

Lana: So what happened next?

Clark: [speaking softly] I woke up...

Clark: The important part is... you were the one person who believed in me. I don't know what I'd do without you, Chloe.

Chloe: Oh, is this when I'm supposed to cue the Barry Manilow music?

Crimson[edit]

[6.13]

Clark: What is it you always say about Valentine's Day? Oh, yeah. Our annual sneak peek at hell. That must have been before cupid struck.

Chloe: Don't you think after being trapped in a front seat to the Clark/Lana opera that I deserve a good V-Day?

Clark: You're the only person who can make me feel guilty, relieved, and a little sad all in one sentence.

Chloe: It's a gift.

Chloe: Lois and Clark?

Jimmy: You got to admit, they got chemistry.

Chloe: Yeah, so do nitroglycerin and peroxide, and I don't suggest putting them together.

Lois: Please tell me we weren't just set up.

Clark: Looks like it.

Lois: Us. That's like hot fudge and halibut.

Clark: I take it I'm the halibut.

Lois: Naturally.

Lois: Wait. I knew I'd kissed you before, in the alley. You're Green Arrow.

Clark: Hardly. I was just pretending to be so you wouldn't know it was Oliver.

Lois: Oliver? Oh, my god. All those times he disappeared... what is my deal with emotionally unavailable weekend warriors? Thank god I finally found a normal guy.

Clark: What do you mean "normal"? Oliver's not even in the same league as me.

Lois: You don't have to be macho just for me. I like the dorky farm boy thing.

Clark: Dorkier than a hood and a quiver? Just because I don't wear a costume and splash my face all over the papers-

Lois: Clark! So what if your signature move is driving a tractor? I think it's adorable.

Clark: You know, Lois, I think that it's time for you to meet the real Clark Kent.

Clark: [Taking Lana] C'mon Lana, if no one else in this room is gonna save you from Lex, then I will.

Lois: [Holding Clark] I don't think so, Lana is your past.. I'm your future.

Clark: This is the present.

Lana: I'm not a competition.

Clark: You are to Lex. He didn't tell you? He's always wanted everything I've ever had. And you were at the top of that list. You're just a trophy to him. And he's nothing but your consolation prize.

Trespass[edit]

[6.14]

Jimmy: Look, Clark, despite our differences, I think that you're a decent guy. Chloe obviously thinks that you can walk on air, so... who am I to stand in the way?

Clark: Jimmy, hold on.

Jimmy: But if you hurt her, I don't care how impossibly gigantic you are, I will chop you down like a cherry tree. And that, ain't no lie.

Clark: It's nice to see that you'd risk ending up in traction to protect Chloe's honor.

Jimmy: A girl like that... worth spending the rest of my life in a body cast.

Clark: I feel the same way. As her friend. Nothing more, I swear.

Martha: [to Lana] If you're taking the Luthor name, I guess armed guards and dodging the press go with the gold ring.

Lex: Looks like you're working out some issues there.

Clark: Just doing a little honest work, Lex. You should try it sometime.

Lex: Why start now? My life's perfect.

Lex: I just wanted to take a little sleigh ride down memory lane, visit the scene of the crime. Hey, here's where you took my fiancée after kidnapping her, right before you tried to kill me.

Clark: I wasn't myself that night... I'm sorry.

Lex: Sorry? What, that you didn't finish the job? You know, I'm still a bit fuzzy on the details, what with you trying to choke the life out of me, but what fascinates me is how after all that, Lana could still feel safe coming here.

Clark: That was her choice. I had nothing to do with it.

Lex: You never do. That's all right. You see, I understand the allure of trying to unravel the mystery of Clark Kent. I suffered from it once too. When I thought you mattered.

Lex: [to Clark] What I want is to make Lana happy for the rest of her life. And I want you to be there on our wedding day... to see what you lost.

Freak[edit]

[6.15]

Chloe: Face it, Clark, I'm a walking time bomb.

Clark: Then consider me your own personal bomb squad.

Chloe: Clark, I need you to X-ray me.

Clark: What?

Chloe: Clark, come on, we're both adults. Now just do it!

Promise[edit]

[6.16]

Lionel: [reading Lana's letter to Lex] This will destroy Lex...I give you my word Ms. Lang, if you don't honor the promise that you gave my son, or I find out you've told anyone about this conversation I will kill Clark Kent.

Clark: I waited for you...

Lana: Clark!

Clark: What happened?

Lana: I'm..I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you...but I wanna be with Lex

Clark: That's not true. He got to you didn't he?

Lana: No, please just believe me and let it go.

Clark: Let it go?...Let it go? Lana I love you...I love you!

Combat[edit]

[6.17]

Chloe: Clark, slow down! I don't have enough money to hire a full-time maid to clean up every time you decide to blow in!

Clark: What did you find?

Clark: How could Lana do it? How could she marry Lex?

Martha: I don't know Clark, but she made her choice.

Clark: Or someone made it for her.

Clark: I'm not going to punch you, Lois.

Lois: Fine. Then you take the dive. (she punches Clark in his stomach and hurts her hand) That is not just a six-pack under your shirt! That's a steel kegger!

Progeny[edit]

[6.18]

Chloe: There is an old abandoned hospital on Paper Mill road, just like he said. And it's owned by-

Clark: -LuthorCorp. It's probably another 33.1 franchise.

Chloe: I was gonna go check it out, but I thought it would be more wise for me to come get my army of one.

Chloe: Lex, I'm tired of playing hardball, or softball, or any ball for that matter. Game's over.

Nemesis[edit]

[6.19]

Chloe: [on voice mail] Hey, Clark, it's me again. Where are you? I feel like your stalker ex-girlfriend, even though I was never your girlfriend. It was just an analogy - a bad one.

Clark: I saw Lana the day of the wedding and she was gonna leave you. What did you do her?

Lex: I don't know. The answer must have gotten lost in that dark abyss we call my soul.

Clark: Were we ever really friends, Lex?

Lex: I don't know. I have nothing to compare it to. You're the only real friend I've ever had, Clark. And somewhere along the way, you saw me as your nemesis, turned your back on me.

Clark: Chloe, I've x-rayed these tunnels over a dozen times, and they all just seem to lead to Reeves Dam.

Chloe: Maybe so, but if Lex is willing to go up against Tomb Raider for them, I can't retire my reporter's notebook just yet.

Lana: I wonder how Martha Kent would handle hearing that you used her son as a bargaining chip? Tell me what you know.

Lionel: Well, I see you've embraced wholeheartedly what it means to be a Luthor.

Noir[edit]

[6.20]

Jimmy: I figured you could use an escape from your real-life soap opera.

Chloe: What do you mean?

Jimmy: Well, you live it every day, but from the outside your real life's got Cagney and Stanwyck written all over it. You've got your billionaire mogul, you got the confused damsel who chose money over love, and the mysterious best friend who shows up everywhere because he can't seem to get a real job. Not to mention the steadfast dame they all depend on.

Chloe: Wow. A real glimpse in the mind of Jimmy Olsen. FYI, um, "dame"? Not so flattering.

[Jimmy picks a lock]

Chloe: When did you learn to do that?

Jimmy: Some girls go for sports cars. I figure you're more of a lock-picking kind of girl.

Bartender Lionel: You stroll in here with this crackerjack kid... You trying to land me in the cooler?

Detective Clark Kent: Cool your jets, Mack. Jimmy's here just a little down on love. Ain't you, Jimmy?

Bartender Lionel: Poor sucker. Man, dame's his poison.

Prototype[edit]

[6.21]

[Clark talks to Lana about Lex.]

Clark: Lana, whatever reason you had to go through with the wedding — it was the wrong choice. You have no idea what he is capable of.

Lana: You'd be surprised what I know.

Clark: Then why are you still here?

Lana: We all have our secrets, Clark. Sometimes we have to keep them to protect those we love.

Lex: Every time I open my heart to someone, I end up getting hurt. If you ever betrayed me, I don't know what I'd do.

Lana: I'd never hurt the man I love.

Clark: It will be just like old times, like when you first got to Smallville

Lois: You're just hoping to catch me in the shower again.

Phantom[edit]

[6.22]

[Clark lifts Lionel by his throat]

Lionel: Clark, if Lana's spoken to you, I know what you must be thinking, but you've got to listen to me.

Clark: I've listened to you for too long!

Lionel: Lex is tracking a wraith from the Phantom Zone. I had to force Lana to marry him. It was the only way she could get close to him to get the information for me I need to help you.

Clark: No. I never asked for your help. And I never will.

Lionel: You're not a murderer. You're Kal-El.

Clark: Don't call me by that name!

Clark: Chloe, I told Lana my secret. She knows everything. She knows that... I'm an alien.

Chloe: Wow. So, I guess we have a new charter member of the Clark Kent secret-keeping club... What did she say?

Clark: She kissed me.

Chloe: That's fantastic. You've been wanting this forever. You just... you must be on Cloud 99.

Clark: I will be as soon as I deal with this Phantom.

Chloe: Look, Lois, take it from someone who's gone up against the Lex Luthor army more than once. Not only will victory remain elusive, but you're almost certain to step on a land mine in the process.

Lois: I'm the general's daughter, remember? I live for battle.

Clark: [Clark superspeeds into Reeves Dam and pushes Lex up against the wall] She was your wife, Lex. Why did you do it?

Lex: Now is not the time to lecture me about my marriage, Clark.

Clark: Why'd you do it? Just tell me!

Lex: GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!

Clark: You afraid she was gonna bring you down, or was it just too humiliating for you that she was gonna leave you? Why'd you have to kill her? Why?

Lex: No.

Clark: No. You don't to need act so surprised. You're the one who killed her. You put a bomb in her car. You're the one who killed her!

Clark: I don't understand. None of this makes any sense.

Lionel: It was when Lex was possessed with Zod. I became possessed with all your father's knowledge. I found myself writing, in Kryptonian, the symbol for power.

Martian Manhunter: It was a beacon. The same beacon Jor-El used when he needed me.

Clark: You knew my father?

Martian Manhunter: I worked for Jor-El, bringing criminals to justice. When Krypton was on the verge of annihilation, he asked me to keep an eye out for you.

Clark: Where have you been all these years?

Martian Manhunter: Watching from a distance.

Lionel: Your father wanted you to pass the test without any help. He wasn't to interfere unless it was absolutely necessary.

Martian Manhunter: When you unleashed those phantoms, your life was at stake. I didn't have a choice.

Lionel: Like what happened at the docks in Seattle.

Clark: When that phantom infected my mind?

Lionel: That's right.

Martian Manhunter: Unfortunately, I've lost a step since then.

Clark: What happened?

Martian Manhunter: Nothing.

[Clark opens Martian Manhunter's jacket and sees he was injured]

Clark: That doesn't look like nothing.

Martian Manhunter: I had a run-in with the last phantom. I have to leave Earth's atmosphere to heal, but first I must complete the job I started.

Season 7[edit]

Bizarro[edit]

[7.01]

Bizarro: Hey Clark! Do you ever wonder what would happen to all of these humans if you weren't here to play savior? I know you do; you'd just never admit it.

Clark: You don't know anything about me.

Bizarro: No, Clark. I know everything about you. I didn't just borrow your DNA; I have all your memories, all your thoughts, every last twisted one of them. When I'm living your life, I won't make those same mistakes.

Clark: Lois said that one of Lex's guys may have done something to you when you were out. You wanna tell me what really happened?

Kara[edit]

[7.02]

Kara: The House of El has a lot of family secrets that nobody ever discussed. As humans would say, we were... dysfunctional.

Clark: Those doors would have opened if you had just waited!

Kara: We don't have time to wait for ancient technology. Between the two of us, we can cover more ground. Of course, it would help if you could defy gravity. Explain to me again why you can't fly.

Clark: I'm not sure.

Kara: I guess the humans were right, Kal-El. Girls do mature faster than boys.

Fierce[edit]

[7.03]

Clark: It's all about control, which you don't have.

Kara: Me? Get back to me when you can fly, Earth boy.

Clark: Well, you're the one who almost lit up the whole fair.

Kara: Has anyone ever told you're a little uptight? You definitely get that from your father.

Kara: (wearing a bikini) Say hello to the next Miss Sweet Corn.

Clark: Uh, listen, uh, when I talked about fitting in, I was... thinking of something with more clothes. Th-this is definitely not blending in.

Kara: You mean "undercover."

Clark: Yes, exactly, and this is... not covered. Um, look, can you go change, please?

Kara: But, I-

Clark: Now!

Kara: Fine. (she superspeeds and changes quickly) You said "now".

Lana: Well, I guess I don't have to ask which side of the family you're from.

Cure[edit]

[7.04]

Chloe: (to Clark) You know, you're gonna have to hang a bell around your neck or something so I can at least hear when you're coming.

Jimmy: I used to sit in the backyard and try to pick up Martian signals on my dad's ham radio.

Kara: Umm, Martians use infrared, silly.

Action[edit]

[7.05]

Rachel: I've only seen love like that once in my life.

Lana: What happened?

Rachel: The director yelled "Cut."

Lara[edit]

[7.06]

Chloe: Look, I know how this is gonna sound coming from me, but you and Kara are from different worlds. Just be careful, okay?

Jimmy: Chloe, Kara is from Minnesota. It's not like she's from another planet.

Wrath[edit]

[7.07]

Lois: What? I can't believe you've never had famous franks before!

Grant Gabriel: I can't believe anyone's had famous franks. That thing could survive a nuclear holocaust!

[Grant kisses Lois.]

Grant Gabriel: I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Lois: Wow. If news of that spread through the mail room I'd have my name on your door by tomorrow. That's sexual harassment.

[Lois kisses Grant.]

Lois: But that wasn't.

Lana: I would do anything for Clark.

Chloe: Even kill. What a lucky guy!

Blue[edit]

[7.08]

Lara: Jor-El? Is that you?

Clark: I'm Kal-El.

Lara: Kal-El... My son, my beautiful boy. You're a man now.

Grant Gabriel: Ok everybody, time to stop gawking, start reporting! You're journalists, not stargazers, let's move!

Chloe: Hey! Hey! Hey! I know the blue K is seriously cramping your style, but you don't have to grind your finger off!

Clark: Chloe, I don't know what else to do. It's unbreakable.

Chloe: Okay, look, considering what all the other flavors of kryptonite do, being normal may not be such a bad thing.

Gemini[edit]

[7.09]

Chloe: (after finding the bomb disgused as a present) Oh wow. I have the worst Secret Santa ever.

Grant: Lois has a mysterious way of diving for a penny and coming up with the Holy Grail.

Persona[edit]

[7.10]

[Bizarro finds Brainiac.]

Bizarro: Look at yourself, you can barely catch a rat.

Brainiac: I am the brain interactive construct. No matter my form, my intellect remains formidable. Do not underestimate me.

Bizarro: Are you telling me the truth?

Brainiac: Lying to you would be like lying to a mollusk. There's no point.

Bizarro: (laughs sarcastically) If this doesn't check out, I'll shove you back into the test tube myself.

Bizarro: Jor-El! I'm searching for something, I think Kara might have brought it here.

Jor-El: (The Fortress console lights up) Leave here at once, phantom!

Bizarro: And what if I don't? What are you gonna do? You're just a voice Jor-El, an echo from the past, I mean what are you are gonna do... lecture me to death?

Jor-El: (The Fortress begins to shake) You are not welcome here!

Bizarro: Don't worry Jor-El, I'll find what I'm looking for sooner or later.

(Bizarro flies away)

Siren[edit]

[7.11]

Green Arrow: Finder's keepers. I like the look. Italian?

Black Canary: Why? You're thinking of trading in your tights?

Clark: His missions are dangerous! And the fact he's taking you with him —

Chloe: No-no-no, it was just internet interception... that ended up having a vicious ninja lady attached to it who chased me onto the roof and then almost beheaded me and went rappelling over the side of the building. Which, I've got to admit, was really smokin' cool.

Lois: (slapping Oliver across the face) That's for breaking my heart!

Oliver: (wincing) Really? 'Cause it felt like it was for not calling when I got back in town.

Lois: Oh, that one will come when you're least expecting it. Will you put a shirt on or something?

Oliver: The whole jumping to conclusions thing before you get the full story? How's that working out for you?

Lois: Huge time-saver.

[...]

Oliver: I missed you... more than you can possibly know.

Lois: If you think that glistening-muscle-answering the door in your bare chest routine was gonna work... you were dead on.

Chloe: Maybe we should call her the "Yellow Raven."

Clark: "Black Canary" has a better ring to it.

[Dinah is invited to join Green Arrow's Justice League.]

Dinah Lance: I'm not really a team player.

Oliver: Good. Then you'll fit right in.

Lana: Everyone was so quick to turn me into Lady Macbeth when they found out that I was watching Lex. And yet, you are the second person to ask me for a favor today.

Oliver: Lois?

Lois: Oh, don't even think of looking at me now. So, in all those nights together, somewhere between brushing teeth and spooning in the sheets, you didn't think that it might be a good time to mention that you prowl the streets with green leather and a compound bow?

Oliver: Well, I don't usually bring the compound bow.

Lois: Oh, so now he's a funny hero. I can't believe you didn't tell me that you were Green Arrow!

Oliver: Hard to imagine why when you're taking it so well.

Lois: You think the lacerating ropes and platinum fembot... might have something to do with my lack of empathy? So, what? Little Ollie got bored with dodgeball in P.E... and decided to play William Tell? Whoa... wait a second. I kissed Green Arrow last year when you were standing there with me in the alley!

Oliver: Yeah. I remember that with precise detail.

Lois: I can't believe you! You, who were supposedly my boyfriend, arranged for me to be lip-locked with some wannabe hero!

Fracture[edit]

[7.12]

Clark: Speaking of heartbeats, you didn't have one for over 18 hours.

Chloe:I was hoping we could skip the lecture and go straight to the "welcome back" dinner. I'm starving.

Clark: It's 15 hours longer than the last time, Chloe. I've been sitting here, literally, trying to think about what to say at your funeral.

Chloe: Well, let's both be glad that I'm alive, 'cause I know how much you hate giving speeches.

Lois: What are we doing, Lex?

Lex: No one asked you to be here, Lois.

Lois: Trust me, I never planned on being your Sundance Kid, especially in the armpit of Motor City.

Finley: Hey, bald man, look, is it really worth killing her to get to me?

Lois: Rhetorical question, Lex!

Hero[edit]

[7.13]

Lex: (to Pete) You know, we may have more in common than you think: we both have a friend who let us down and something tells me that you know what it's like to love a woman who's still infatuated with Clark Kent.

Clark: [Talking about Pete]If he ingests anymore kryptonite... we both know what happens to people.

Chloe: Present company on stand-by.

Traveler[edit]

[7.14]

Chloe: (to Jor-El, in the Fortress of Solitude) Out of all the planets across the universe you decided to send your only son to this one, to Earth! You trusted us to protect him! Now please, Jor-El, I need you to trust me. I love your son! He's in danger and he needs our help!

Patricia Swann: My father often reminded me that despite the power of the sun, it's always night on half the planet. For all the good you do, there will always be darkness, people who would kill you or abuse your power for their own gain. Lionel Luthor is just one of many.

Veritas[edit]

[7.15]

Clark: Then why has he [Brainiac] turned his attention toward you?

Kara: I don't know. But when we go up against him, it would be helpful if were on the same playing field. Or should I say sky?

Clark: Not helping.

Kara: I'm sorry, Yeah, I know. It… but it's just really easy. Just up, up and away.

Lois: Okay. Better make sure that camera is loaded with ammo because I got tomorrow's headline. "Daughter of Nobel-Winning Astronomer Murdered."

Jimmy: That Swann woman they fished out of the lake last night?

Lois: Yeah.

Jimmy: I thought that she drowned.

Lois: More like sank. Kind of hard to swim after you've been shot.

Lionel: No, I've repented.

Chloe: That's right, you're an intensely spiritual man. You amassed all the power a human could until you found out about Clark. Befriending him is the closest thing you'll get to seeing God.

Descent[edit]

[7.16]

Chloe: Long night. It's good to see the sun again.

Clark: It's too bad Lionel's not here to see it.

Chloe: Lex closed the funeral to any and all guests. In other word's Lex is the only one invited.

Clark: Lionel deserves better.

Chloe: At least we know how Lionel truly felt about you. I mean, he thought of you as his second son.

Clark: Another person who treated me like a son and died because of it.

Chloe: Clark-

Clark: -Jor-El died getting me on that ship. My dad died of a heart attack from the powers he took on protecting me. And now Lionel's been murdered for protecting my secret.

Chloe: They did die for you, Clark. But ultimately, they died for all of us. There was a reason those men were in your life. Each of them added something to the man that you are today.

Clark: How could Lex have done it? How does a son... ...murder his own father?

Chloe: Total absence of love. Some say that's the definition of evil. You have to get those keys away from Lex, Clark, before he kills anyone else.

Clark: He's not gonna to have the chance. I won't let him.

Sleeper[edit]

[7.17]

Chloe: You know, having a gang of superheroes is great in theory, but no one ever considers the shipping costs.

Chloe: (to Clark) You do realize that your greatest superpower is your ability to win me over with just one look, no matter how ridiculous you sound, right?

Apocalypse[edit]

[7.18]

Lois: (rummaging through a closet) Olsen's roommate's about the right size —

Clark: Lois, we don't have time for this.

Lois: Then stop standing around. Strip!

(Clark averts his gaze, looking uncomfortable)

Lois: Kent, this is no time to be modest. Armageddon's minutes away.

Brainiac: You can't stop me, Kal-El. There's no yellow sun to charge you here. You're not in Kansas anymore.

Clark: Where were you taking it?

Jimmy: Oh, I guess you didn't get the memo that says, "Why should I tell you?"

(Clark picks him up and slams him into the shelves)

Jimmy: Oh... that's a good answer.

Quest[edit]

[7.19]

Chloe: (to Clark) Sorry I couldn't get here faster but, you know... I have to drive.

Clark: That's the last thing I need. Someone going around killing people in my name.

Chloe: That's probably how God felt about the Crusades.

(after Chloe turns up unexpectedly in Montreal)

Clark: Chloe. How did you...

Chloe: Oliver's jet — fringe benefit of being a hero hag.

Arctic[edit]

[7.20]

Lex Luthor: "I loved you like a brother, Clark, but I'm sorry it had to end this way."

Chloe: (exposes Kara to kryptonite) Why isn't it working?

Brainiac-as-Kara: Check the expiration date?

Lex: (looking at the Fortress) I must admit, Clark. This is a big step up from the barn.

Brainiac: (to Chloe after her powers foiled his attempt to infect her) What the hell are you?!

Jimmy: I found out something about those mystery expeditions he's been sending to the North Pole.

Lois: Either he's planning a hostile takeover of Santa's workshop, or he's doing something illegal. And since I'm sure Lex isn't into the Christmas spirit, what's the scoop.

Season 8[edit]

Odyssey[edit]

[8.01]

Lois: I can't believe it, one alarm clock malfunction and suddenly you're demoted and sent to deliverance territory. What the hell are you doing here?

Clark: I'm…

Man: You know him?

Lois: Yes.

Clark: No.

Lois: He wishes he didn't know me. I thought I dropped you at your cell.

Man: We'll take him back.

Lois: And send me to the Sahara? One demotion this week is enough.

Man: I'll handle him.

Lois: What are you doing here.

Clark: I heard they have good espresso.

Lois: You disappear for a month and come back with a sense of humor?

Clark: I've been tracking Chloe down, the question is how did you get here?

Lois: Feminine charm.

Clark: (scoffs)

Lois: Yes I do have some.

Clark: Great job protecting your short supply of it.

Lois: Why don't you give your stand up a rest and do exactly as I tell you, that way we can find Chloe and stay alive at the same time.

Clark: You mind not pointing that thing at me?

Lois: God Clark, I'm not aiming at you. What?! I'm not! Besides it's only your kneecap.

Clark: Well that makes me feel a lot better.

Lois: Look I know that you're nervous Smallville but you gotta remember I grew up around green berets and navy seals not cornstalks and jersey cows. So stick with me, I'll protect you, you'll be fine.

Clark: Chloe.

Lois: Out of the way Smallville. Chloe!

Chloe: Lois look behind you, watch out!

Clark: Oh, I'm sorry is this bothering you?

Lois: The chair or you in it?

Clark: Lois, I um… I wanted to say, I thought you did well out there. You really earned your stripes at your dad's boot camp.

Lois: Thanks. And as for you, you actually surprised me. I mean for your first attempt at heroism.

Clark: Well I better get going. I'll see you bright and early Monday morning.

Lois: Woah, woah, why Monday? What do you mean bright and early?

Clark: Lois. You're the one that gave me the application. You're looking at the newest recruit for the Daily Planet.

Lois: That's great. What made you change your mind?

Clark: I guess I wanted to be in the middle of the action.

Lois: Good for you. So, are you going to be starting down in the mailroom?

Clark: I'm going to be a little closer to home. Looks like we're going to be neighbors Lane.

Lois: You gotta be kidding me.

Oliver: I'd be careful, Clark. Pretty soon, you'll be sporting a homemade costume and leading a double identity just like the rest of us.

Dinah: You might want to try a little more formfitting.

Plastique[edit]

[8.02]

Lois: But what's with the wardrobe malfunction?

Clark: What? This is a nice shirt.

Lois: Human Resources is going to be down here any minute, and you do not want to meet them looking like... the brawny lumberjack.

Clark: I'm Clark Kent.

Davis Bloome: Davis Bloome. I met your fiancée. Clark, congratulations. She's a real catch.

Clark: I'm getting married?

Davis Bloome: Well, I thought that- 'cause I thought you and Chloe were together, and you seemed pretty close. When she said she was engaged...

Clark: Chloe's engaged?

Davis Bloome: Oh, man, okay, my brain's completely gone completely D.O.A. Clark, she said she hadn't told anyone yet. Do me a favor. Don't tell her I said anything.

Clark: I won't reveal my source.

Note: This is in reference to one of "Lois Lane's Rules to Journalism"

Toxic[edit]

[8.03]

Lois: Find me a 24-hour market. I need a sports drink, as much vitamin B as you can get your hands on, and one dill pickle. Let's go! Tick tock!

Oliver: (capturing a centipede) All right, here's the deal. Normally I don't eat anything with more than 99 legs on it, but I haven't eaten in days. Kind of a bummer for both of us, right?

Instinct[edit]

[8.04]

Lois: You know endorphins? They're hormones that are released when the body performs a certain activity.

Clark: Like when you play a sport.

Lois: Or there's another kind of activity two people share, repetitive motion, builds to a climax.

Clark: Thank you.

Chloe: (to Clark) Hey. Am I glad to see you. Now that Lois is riding shotgun in your Mystery Machine, your old sidekick's jonesing for a Scooby clue. Let me see that concrete crop circle.

Committed[edit]

[8.05]

Clark: (to a hung-over Lois) Don't worry, you got changed all by yourself. In the middle of the kitchen, for like an hour.

(entering the Talon apartment, the morning after)

Lois: Chloe?

Clark: Jimmy?

Lois: You know what Lois likes to see when she comes home? Pants. Pants on everyone.

Oliver: (walking in on Lois and Clark at the jewelry store) What are you two doing here?

Lois: Oliver! Uh, didn't get the invitation yet?

Oliver: Invitation to what?

Lois: Uh, tell him, cupcake.

Clark: (shooting Lois a look) Wh... Lois and I are... we're getting married.

Lois: Oh my God, Chloe, I am so sorry. I mean, I know my face is under "faux pas" in the dictionary, but this is a whole new low.

Chloe: I would say that this is a close second behind the time you crashed Lana's engagement party. In fact, you may want to start avoiding engagement parties altogether.

Prey[edit]

[8.06]

John Jones: Where'd you get this list?

Clark: I memorized it off Chloe's desk.

John Jones: I didn't realize that photographic memory was among of your abilities.

Clark: It's more like speed-reading, but let's not split hairs.

John Jones: She couldn't just *give* you a copy?

Clark: Chloe and I don't always see eye to eye on this one.

John Jones: [refers to Lois] Well, what about your mouthy cohort? She hasn't poked her nose into this one, either.

Clark: She's on assignment, which is code for "Monster Truck Rally in Lubbock."

John Jones: And I assume your emerald ally and his super friends are still on hiatus, which leaves you.

Clark: Solo. I get it.

Identity[edit]

[8.07]

Lois: Well, if you like covering robbery and homicide, you've come to the right place. The crime rate's so high there's actually a "no vacancy sign" in front of county jail.

Sebastian: Really? Metropolis seems like a safe haven compared to some of the places I've covered.

Lois: Really? Like where, the gates of Hell?

Clark: Tell me you're sober.

Oliver: Let me tell you something— I wish I wasn't sober. I can be in a cabana in Aruba right now. Instead, I'm in the middle of downtown on a rooftop with you guys.

Clark: You didn't hear me complain when I had to put on green leather to protect your identity.

Oliver: Clark, you made out with my girlfriend, man. What did you have to complain about?

Lois: I don't do too well with fortune tellers. The last one I went to see, told me I was destined to fall for a guy who flies a lot and likes to wear tights. So I'm just waiting for my cross-dressing pilot to make his landing

Bloodline[edit]

[8.07]

Oliver: Hallmark didn't have any "Welcome back to Earth" cards. So...

Clark: It's nice to see everyone has a key to this place.

Tess: Who do you work for?

Green Arrow: I'm self-employed. It's sort of an occupational safety hazard.

Tess: Oh. Well, then you know that getting blood out of leather can be a total bitch.

Faora-as-Lois: You don't recognize me... but you are the spitting image of your father.

Davis: Okay. Lois, you gotta reason with me. What kind of drugs did you take-pills, powder, paste? Don't tell me you injected anything.

Oliver: That still doesn't explain how you're hacking into that crystal, Chloe. It's not hooked up to anything, there's no computer here.

Chloe: Do I tell you how to shoot your arrows? I don't think so.

Chloe: You know, Oliver, for a guy with three cellphones, you sure are hard to get a hold of.

Abyss[edit]

[8.09]

Chloe: Jimmy, I'm impressed. You managed to balance out singles, couples, and families while keeping all of the exes at different tables, and still keeping the kids' tables away from the cake. You truly are the Zen master of seating charts.

Jimmy: More the master of musical chairs.

Bride[edit]

[8.10]

Jimmy: You know, speaking of the right person, since you don't have a plus-one tonight, I'd like you to meet one of my friends. Name's Clark Kent. You heard of him?

Lois: Better wear your bow and arrow, Cupid. That bumbling tadpole is not my Prince Charming.

Jimmy: Well, maybe you just need to jump his lily pad and plant one on him. Come on. I've seen the way you two look at each other.

Lois: [scoffs] You need to get your eyesight checked, Olsen. Clark doesn't like me. He likes... driving me crazy.

Jimmy: Flirtation 101, Lane. I mean, that's what a guy does when he's into a girl.

Lois: Really?

Jimmy: Trust me. Lois and Clark would be great together. I can feel it in my gut.

Lois: Well, take some Ex-Lax, get over it.

Lois: And remember what the General always says: "Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy." (she pauses) You can edit that last part out, right?

Lana: So Oliver Queen moonlights as Green Arrow. Does Clark know about you?

Oliver: I think I can safely say he knows more of my secrets than he does yours. You're not going to tell me you're down here on vacation fishing for marlin, are you?

Lana: We both know that two hours ago more than 430,000 megagigs of LuthorCorp RAM and ethernet cables were running through this place.

Oliver: Sounds like we each came here with a score to settle.

Legion[edit]

[8.11]

Clark: Hey, it's nice to see the kinder, gentler Chloe.

Chloe: Nothing like having a binary bad guy cleansed from your system to put a spring back in your step.

Bulletproof[edit]

[8.12]

Chloe: You know I gotta say being at the mercy of modern technology really sucks. (Clark gives her a strange look) I know, I know, I'm happy to be Brainiac-free but, my evil upgrade was really... convenient.

Power[edit]

[8.13]

Tess: That's a ballsy move, sitting in the boss' chair. Either you have good news for me, or you like to live dangerously close to the edge. (discovers her guard is dead) I guess it's the latter.

Requiem[edit]

[8.14]

Lana: (laughing) Please tell me that the bed was already wobbly.

Clark: Lana, it's made of solid oak. What do you say we find out how strong the floor is?

Infamous[edit]

[8.15]

Lois: What guns you got in your arsenal?

Clark: (Sighs)I guess I might as well just throw it all out there. I can blast fire out of my eyes.

Lois: Okay...

Clark: I can hear a dog barking from ten miles away. I can see through solid objects and I can run faster than the speed of sound.

Lois: Wait. Rewind. (discreetly covers herself) Expand on your whole... see-through-things... thing.

Turbulence[edit]

[8.16]

Clark: Did Lex talk to you about me?

Tess: He kept a journal.

Hex[edit]

[8.17]

Lois: Hey! One year closer to the sweet release of death!

Chloe: How wonderfully morbid.

Zatanna: Rough birthday, huh?

Chloe: You ever seen the napalm scene in Apocalypse Now? More fire, less cake.

Zatanna: I can't ever totally make it up to you or your friends but I would like to try to make sure that something like this doesn't happen again.

Oliver: Here's a thought... don't do it again.

Chloe-as-Lois: It's okay. I'm Chloe.

(Clark gives Chloe-as-Lois a skeptical look)

Chloe-as-Lois: Stood-her-up-at-formal Chloe. Planted-one-on-you-because-Zod-was-ending-the-world Chloe.

(Clark looks even more skeptical)

Chloe-as-Lois: Krypton, Jor-El, Fortress, Brainiac Chloe!

Clark: (truth dawning) Chloe!?

Chloe-as-Lois: Bingo.

Chloe: You already know what you really want. We all do. We just don't listen.

Oliver: And you're sure this is it?

Chloe: This is where I belong.

Computer: Aquaman online. Canary online. Cyborg online. Impulse online.

Oliver: Arrow online.

Chloe: Watchtower is officially online... let's get to work.

Eternal[edit]

[8.18]

Tess: What do you do when you find Judas in your midst? Who would Christ have been if Judas had not betrayed him? Maybe we would remember Jesus as only a teacher roaming the desert.

Davis: I don't quite understand what you're getting at.

Tess: Without Judas, Jesus would never have risen from the dead to come back and face his greatest challenge: saving humankind. There is a savior among us. You are here to betray him.

Stiletto[edit]

[8.19]

Lois: I'll get my best men on it... and when I say men, I mean me because I work in the basement.

Lois: Okay, obviously there's been some sort of mistake. It's not like I squeezed into 5" booted heels for my health.

Hostess: Miss Lane, there's simply nothing I can do.

Lois: Actually, there is. You can tell Edward R. Murrow that he can kiss this cub reporter's sweet...

Chloe: Lois!

Lois: Even when I did lower the bar and tried to slom a Green Arrow interview, it turns out Mr. Emerald-Chaps is another closet case when it comes to publicity.

Beast[edit]

[8.20]

Oliver: So the needs of the Cornfield Killer outweigh the needs of the rest of the world, is that it?

Chloe: Oliver, it's complicated—

Oliver: Oh, it's complicated, yeah. That's the same thing your psychopathic boyfriend told me.

Injustice[edit]

[8.21]

Tess: Where the hell are your pants?

Oliver: Yeah... yeah, I hid my pants.

Doomsday[edit]

[8.22]

Lois: You just want to take over the world with some alien nation.

Tess: I am trying to save the world.

Lois: What's wrong with Greenpeace?

Season 9[edit]

Savior[edit]

[9.01]

Chloe: Dr. Hamilton.

Dr. Hamilton: If you would be so kind as to lower the 9mm Jericho 941. I prefer "Emil."

Clark: (referring to Alia) She told me that I would cause the end of the world. It's like I have a ticking time bomb on me, Chloe, and I only have a year to figure out how to stop it.

Chloe: Well, you can't believe everything an assassin tells you. I mean, what does she know, anyway, right?

Clark: The future.

Chloe: Right. The future

Metallo[edit]

[9.02]

Chloe: Lois stopped by and found Shelby here alone with a dish full of food. Now, don't worry, I covered for you. But you should know that you are now on her radar.

Clark: Thanks. I'll be more careful next time.

Chloe: Dressed like that? Clark, what if I was Lois? She would take one look at you and realize Clark Kent is the Blur.

Clark: I told you, there is no Clark Kent.

Chloe: No disrespect to your Kryptonian calling, but coming back to feed the dog is about as human as it gets. Go

Rabid[edit]

[9.03]

Clark: Oliver, is this your idea of fun now that you've hung up your bow?

Oliver: Should have known it was you. Clark Kent, the king of buzzkill. You and your pet rock put on a hell of a barbecue, but I had my money on Doomsday, so...

Clark: You can try and play it off as a joke. But I know that the loss of Jimmy affected us both.

Oliver: Well, I guess God's got a sick sense of humor. Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be taking your name in vain.

Clark: I'm trying to make up for what happened, not add myself to the casualty list.

Oliver: Yeah, well, I can't get my thrills leaping tall buildings or outrunning speeding bullets. We mere mortals, we have to rely on a tweaked-out Ducati and the open road.

Emil: I could try. It'll take me at least a half hour to cross town.

Clark: Do you get motion sickness?

Emil: Mm, not really. Why do you ask?

(Clark grabs Emil and super-speeds away, leaving Chloe alone)

Chloe: Really?

Echo[edit]

[9.04]

Chloe: So the question is: how do we know that this isn't just your super hearing on the fritz?

Clark: As loud as Lois is, even she can't speak with her mouth closed.

Chloe: Good point.

Clark: What are you doing here? (hears Lois's thoughts)

Lois: Standing in the shadow of six-and-a-half foot of handsome. No, Lois, he doesn't get off that easy. Kick his ass!

Roulette[edit]

[9.05]

Oliver: Nice to play. I just started asking myself who knew about Lex, about Toyman. The things I'd given up, what I tried to do. Then it all occurred to me. Dinah shattered the glass in the warehouse, Bart rescued me from the car, Victor faked the computers, and Watchtower kept an eye on the whole thing. Right?

Chloe: You were living like you had a death wish, Oliver. You had to face your demons if you were ever going to make it out alive. And I had to push you over the ledge in order to pull you back.

Oliver: Did you have to push with a 3-ton truck?

Chloe: I didn't think a tricycle would be a strong enough point.

Oliver: You saved my life, Chloe. Both the myth... and the man.

Lois: So... what was that about?

Oliver: Uh-oh. I've seen that look before, usually right before you sock me in the jaw.

Clark: I heard you were back.

Oliver: You do know, of course, you look absolute ridiculous in that, right? And I got a great tailor, hook you up with a little color, maybe.

Clark: Nice to see you finally discovered something worth living for after all.

Oliver: You've done a hell of a job keeping the world safe on your own, Clark. I'm here to help you now.

Clark: Good. Something tells me...soon the world will need all the help we can get.

Crossfire[edit]

[9.06]

Lois: Look, I appreciate you helping me audition, I'm still angry you didn't tell me how bad Oliver was doing, but you're here anyway, so please, don't make me wish you weren't.

Clark: It's okay, Lois. You don't need to get all worked up like you usually do.

Lois: Well, excuse me Mr. I'm-slow-and-steady-and-know-what's-best-for-everyone, this happens to be important to me. With newspapers on the endangered species list, news television is my one and only back-up plan.

Clark: Don't you think you can be a little less dramatic with this whole thing?

Lois: You could be a little more passionate with this whole thing. But not you, not mild-mannered Clark Kent. Do you even care if I get this job?

Clark: Of course I care, I bought a new tie.

Lois: Oh, well I bought a whole new outfit.

Clark: Yeah, you look great.

Lois: Don't do that.

Clark: Do what?

Lois: Don't you dare reassure me right now.

Clark: Lois, I'm only doing this for you. How else am I going to get that second date?

Lois: (Pauses) Well, you should have thought of that before you stood me up the first time.

Lois: (talking to the waiter) You got anything stronger?

Waiter: Of course.

Clark: Last thing you need is a drink Lois.

Lois: Thanks Clark. You sound like my mother on prom night. How do I look?

Clark: If this were a prom, you'd be crowned queen. Your date's a lucky man.

Lois: Do I detect a note of jealousy in the notoriously nice Clark Kent? Be careful my date doesn't hear you. He might just have to take you down.

Clark: (chuckles) Like to see him try.

Lois: You know what they say: all's fair in love and war.

Clark: And what's it gonna be for us Lois? Love or war?

Lois: Clark, it sounds like you're asking me out on another date?

Clark: If I was, would you say yes?

Lois: I'll tell you what I'd say... (sees Oliver walking in) Oliver!

(Clark walks in the Daily Planet bullpen, sees Lois reading something, and nervously walks up to her.)

Clark: Lois?

Lois: Did you hear? The brilliant brass over at KZXP have decided to go with someone else for their morning show.

Clark: Lois?

Lois: After everything that happened, after Ollie and I almost got killed, guess who they've decided to go with? (She shows him a promo picture of Catherine Grant as the new correspondent.)

Lois: Apparently blondes test better with morning viewers.

Clark: Lois!

Lois: I'm sorry, I never should have tried out in the first place, or dragged you with me, and I just-

(Clark grabs her and passionately kisses her. At first, she is surprised, then she kisses him back)

Kandor[edit]

[9.07]

Oliver: You know, Clark, if you wanna bury me in the desert for going on that date with Lois... you could've at least taken me to Nevada.

Clark: Oliver, let's not...

Oliver: I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna put up a fight. But maybe we could've hit the Strip before the main event, you know what I mean? Maybe a little Blue Man Group... maybe a little Carrot Top. You know, what I'm getting you next year for Christmas is a sense of humor.

Idol[edit]

[9.08]

Lois: I thought, you know, the ride would give us a chance to get past the whole kiss-and-run of it all and get to know each other better.

Clark: Better? You tell me the color of your underwear every day. What else is there to know?

Pandora[edit]

[9.09]

Lois: (Upon entering Watchtower) OK Chloe, you remember when we were ten and I kicked you out of my culbhouse for spilling soda and you said you'd just build a cooler one? You win.

Zod: I'm General Zod. And all of this is mine to give if you give me the names of whoever snuck you into the restricted zone.

Lois: My Dad's a general, too. And he still couldn't get me to spill how I got an M1 Abrams tank to take me to the prom. So I'm definitely not telling you anything.

Oliver: Five dozen roses? Wow. That's subtle.

Disciple[edit]

[9.10]

Clark: "That's PDA #5, not that I'm keeping track."

Lois: Clark, sorry I'm late. I was watching the monster truck jump finals, Grave Maker lost his drive train. He is never coming back.

Clark: It's okay Lois he's just a truck.

Lois: Aw Clark, come on that's like saying Tommy Lee's just a drummer. Sometimes I worry there is no poetry in you.

Clark: You just have to look a little deeper.

Vordigan: (Off screen) At last, the apprentice heeds his master's call. (Fires and arrow that knocks Oliver's bow out of his hands) You know why you're here?

Oliver: (removes his sunglasses and hood) Vordigan, our pathes split a long time ago.

Vordigan: You took your vows Oliver. Now its time to fulfill them.

Oliver: You embracred me as your own son, but I can't follow in your footsteps.

Absolute Justice[edit]

[9.11]

Oliver: (walking into Watchtower) Anyone home?

Chloe: What's up?

Oliver: Nothing, actually. I, uh, I thought I'd stop by and see if anyone's hungry.

John Jones: I could use some dinner. Chloe?

Chloe: Uh, sure. You're buying, Mr. Queen.

John Jones: Don't look at me, I'm living off a policeman's salary.

Oliver: Ah, fine. Dessert's on you.

John Jones: On Mars, we never had dessert. But I have grown especially fond of cookies.

Oliver: Where are the other SuperFriends?

Chloe: Still waiting for them to ring me back. See, this is why I keep asking everyone to come up with some sort of standardized trouble alert. The team needs structure.

Oliver: Is that what we're lacking? You're really on a kick lately. Personal phone conversations... bank records... Amazon wish list.

Chloe: Big sister's watching.

Oliver: Is that my e-mail? Chloe, I'll have you know that those messages between me and Canary were purely platonic.

Chloe: Can we skip your virtual love life and actually focus on the job here?

Green Arrow: I hate waiting.

Hawkman: You like talking. Shut up.

Green Arrow: Why did they pair us up together?

Hawkman: I requested it, so I could keep you in line.

Green Arrow: What, you're my chaperone?

Hawkman: think of me as your parole officer... but with a mace.

Green Arrow: (after Clark states that none of them are bad guys) You sure about that Clark? Winged Wonder here threw me through a window.

Hawkman: I hope I didn't make you cry.

Green Arrow: Drop the mace, Conan.

Hawkman: I will, on your head.

Green Arrow: (walking towards Hawkman) Bring it, Big Bird. Just remember you started it.

Hawkman: I'll finish it.

Warrior[edit]

[9.12]

Chloe: Slow night?

Oliver: Figured I'd squeeze in some target practice... and a single malt.

Chloe: Did you bring enough for the rest of the class?

Oliver: Help yourself, professor. You're running a little low on allegory tonight. Bumpy day?

Chloe: Not the smoothest. Someone asked me when the last time I had a good time was, and I didn't have an answer.

Oliver: I don't think anyone can fault you for being on the edge, Chloe. Hell, if anyone can relate it's me. I get it.

Chloe: Yeah, you can.

Oliver: You know... sometimes you got to take your fun where you can get it. And sometimes... it's right in front of your face. You just have to want to see it. Come on.

Chloe: How do I know when to let go?

Oliver: It's all about your heart. Just listen. Right there in between the beats. That's when you let go.

Persuasion[edit]

[9.13]

Clark: I need to figure out a way to reverse this. I think I breathed in some sort of new meteor rock.

Emil: (laughs) Dude, hasn't anyone ever told you not to inhale?

Conspiracy[edit]

[9.14]

Oliver: A lot of women have used me for my money, I never expected it from you.

Chloe: I wasn't stealing from you Oliver, I was borrowing the cash. I'm buying insurance for the entire planet.

Chloe: All the I.D.'s I gave Clark have computer tracking chips in them. I want to keep an eye on the visitors from another planet.

Oliver: Welcome to "1984: The Sullivan Edition."

Escape[edit]

[9.15]

Maggie: I have your room all ready, Mrs. Green, except you didn't say what size bed you'd prefer.

Chloe: Make it a Queen.

Clark: Quiet weekend at home, huh?

Chloe: Trust me, we had no idea the two of you would be there.

Lois: And we had no idea there was even a "you two," which I think is perfect. I think fate has brought us together.

Oliver: Well, it's a... it's... it's a little less fate, actually.

Chloe: (cuts in) More fame.

Oliver: (mumbles) Like fame.

Chloe: This inn is so far off the beaten bath that even the society pages couldn't find Star City's most eligible bachelor here.

Lois: You mean ex-bachelor.

Lois: Let's talk about Mr. Green, in the bedroom, with my cousin.

Oliver: And there it is.

Checkmate[edit]

[9.16]

Green Arrow: You could use some conflict resolution. (steps in front of Tess) Rule Number 1: You don't shoot your date. Rule Number 2: Think about your wardrobe choices.

Edward Lott: You're one to talk.

Green Arrow: Oh, don't get me wrong, I love black on black, it's just really hard to pull off.

Edward Lott: It's easier than you think.

Green Arrow: (shoots him with a taser arrow) Rule Number 3: You gotta know when to say goodnight.

Tess: Black on black, that's hard for you to pull off.

Oliver: Well, it's easier than you think. (pauses)

Tess: (realizes something) Green Arrow.

Upgrade[edit]

[9.17]

Chloe: I should have known that Clark took a walk down the ruby-red road. That explains his lack of "edit" button.

Tess: I thought Clark was only affected by green meteor. What's the red do?

'Chloe: Basically it turns him into the bad boy every girl dreams of... in her nightmares.

Lois: Tess. How not surprised am I to see you here. By the way, this is the least-secret secret lab I've ever been in... twice.

Charade[edit]

[9.18]

Franklin Stern: Let me guess. You two have a lovers' spat?

Lois: Clark and I don't spat. There was no spatting

Sacrifice[edit]

[9.19]

Clark: I let myself in.

Oliver: Terrific. You, uh, hop up to the helipad or just superspeed past security, Clark?

Clark: I used the elevator.

Oliver: How human of you.

Hostage[edit]

[9.20]

Clark: I wish you could come back and visit more often.

Martha: I had to let go of this place for a while, Clark, but I never let go of you. I'll be back soon.

Clark: Maybe next time you can ease up on the kryptonite

Salvation[edit]

[9.21]

Clark: (to Lois) Look, my whole life has been full of relationships that have ended too soon. And then when I went away last fall, I... Lois, I felt so lost. When I came back to the bullpen... you were there waiting for me. You jumped out of your seat, you threw your arms around me, and the way that your eyes sparkled when you smiled, I just... I knew. I just knew that you were the one that I've always needed. And I needed you to know that.

Season 10[edit]

Lazarus[edit]

[10.01]

Chloe Sullivan: Show me where Oliver is.

Helmet of Nabu: Would you sacrifice your sanity to save the Archer?

Clark Kent: I died to save the world.

Jor-El: Evil never ends. By sacrificing yourself, you have left the humans vulnerable to future threats.

Clark Kent: I left a team of heroes behind to protect them.

Jor-El: You were meant to be Earth's greatest protector. Now, they are about to face the greatest evil without you.

Clark Kent: Then send me back! I know my fate! To step into the light! To be a symbol of hope for them.

Jor-El: I told you to rule with strength, but you chose the martyr's path. What makes you think you deserve a second chance?

Clark Kent: I can do it. I can be their hero!

Clark Kent: Sometimes I think it would be easier if you were here.

Jonathan Kent: Not a day goes by, Clark, when I don't regret not being able to be right here for you. I would do anything, I would give anything to able to get a second chance to get it right. You got that second chance, son. You could be the greatest hero the world has ever known.

Clark Kent: Not according to Jor-El.

Jonathan Kent: Well, then, do what you do best. Prove him wrong. Jor-El was right about one thing. Something dark is coming. You're gonna be tested. It's not gonna be easy, son. But I have faith in you.

Clark Kent: I defeated Lex. I refused to let him win. And I pushed myself harder than I ever have before. For a second, I thought I was flying. But I saved everyone, I don't know how but I saved them all. I've finally become the hero you sent me here to be.

Jor-El: Pride... vanity... you almost took a man's life and you dare tell me you are following the path that I set out for you?

Clark Kent: You told me that I have unfinished business. An evil here that I had to face! And Lex...!

Jor-El: The evil is you, Kal-El. The greatest threat Earth will face is coming. It preys on wavering souls like yours. Once this darkness consumes you, you will be Earth's greatest enemy.

Clark Kent: That's not my fate.

Jor-El: You cannot be a beacon of hope when you have darkness in your heart.

Clark Kent: Then why did you send me back? Why did you give me a second chance?!

Jor-El: I didn't. It was not my decision to give you back your life.

Clark Kent: You may not see me as a hero. But the rest of the world does! And I decide my fate!

Jor-El: I regret as a father, my faith in you blinded me to the truth. You will never be Earth's savior.

Rick Flag: Your satellite was tracking them - symbols that looked just like The Blur's, which makes him the person of interest. But what's your connection to all this?

Oliver Queen: Man, I told you. You got this whole thing wrong, okay? I'm what you call a good guy here! I'm not guilty of anything here except trying to save the world! All right? And I would tell you who from but I don't think you'd believe me.

Rick Flag: Try me.

Oliver Queen: These little green guys from outer space. (laughs)

Shield[edit]

[10.02]

Tess Mercer: [Reading Chloe's letter to Oliver] "Oliver, I never thought I'd have to tell you how I feel about us because the smile on my lips when I looked at you pretty much said it all. But now that you won't be seeing it anymore I'll have to use words to tell you. I've never loved anyone the way I've loved you and I never will again. You are my brightest star, my knight in shining leather, my hero." ...Oliver, this may be difficult for you to face, but I didn't write this. We both know Chloe did.

Tess Mercer: (to Oliver) Trust never was the golden rule for the kids in this clubhouse.

Carter Hall: You know, the philosopher Nietzsche believed we shouldn't live for the future, but for the present. He thought that people who chased after some far-off future dream were really running away from their true destiny.

Lois Lane: Yeah, well, Nietzsche can call me a chicken if he wants, but he has never dated someone like Clark Kent.

Carter Hall: It wouldn't have mattered. To him, the true hero was the person who embraced the life that he or she was given and made it better. He called that person "Übermensch."

Lois Lane: A Superman.

Carter Hall: Nietzsche believed we could all be one. In our own way.

Carter Hall: (to Lois) I guess you never know what fate has planned for you.

Rick Flag: Let's give these boys a taste of what it's like to mess with the Suicide Squad.

Supergirl[edit]

[10.03]

Kara Kent: It was a start.

Clark Kent: It's not flying if it's mostly falling.

Darkseid (in Gordon Godfrey's body): (to Clark) Are you sure you can win against me? You know what I am. You know the doubt in your heart. You so-called heroes are false gods, all of you. And when people stop believing in you, you'll shatter like glass.

Lois Lane: Somebody should put Godfrey in some serious restraints. Who knew Mr. Family Values had such a dark side?

Kara Kent: Godfrey's not so special. There's two sides to everyone... even heroes.

Kara Kent: It's critical that I get my image around the city, as soon as possible. You just have to trust me Kal-El. I'm doing this for you.

Clark Kent: Kara, this doesn't feel like much of a favor.

Kara Kent: I've searched so long for my mother, and I never found her. You and I are the last survivors of the House of El. And after everything that we've been through together, I had to come back to the one place in the universe that I had family.

Clark Kent: Well, what you are doing right now, flies in the face of how I've chosen to live on this planet my whole life. We both know that. Now if you really care about family, tell me what you doing here and stop avoiding the question!

Kara Kent: I didn't want to hurt you. Jor-El has given me a mission. I'm getting my powers and image around the city as part of it.

Clark Kent: He gave you a mission? What did he say?

Kara Kent: He's let you go, Kal-El. I'm sorry. He says, you're no longer his son.

Lois Lane: There is a guy out there, Gordon Godfrey, and he thinks that Green Arrow is my ex-boyfriend.

Oliver Queen: He does?

Lois Lane: Hmm.

Oliver Queen: You know I think we just leave him alone. You know let the blowhard eventually blow himself out, and in the meantime I can handle a few slings and arrows. I'm sure you can too.

Lois Lane: Oliver, Godfrey's got proof! He has a secret chapter about you, and he's gonna post it online tomorrow. He knows who you are.

Oliver Queen: Maybe people deserve to know the truth.

Lois Lane: People deserve to be saved. And it's safer for you to be in the shadows, it's safer for all the heroes.

Oliver Queen: Maybe, or maybe the cost of keeping my secret is getting too high, and it's time to pay the piper.

Lois Lane: If you're not seriously gonna stand up and kick this creep to the curb, then I will!

Homecoming[edit]

[10.04]

Lois Lane: Come on. Did you forget? Tomorrow's our Smallville High reunion.

Clark Kent: Did you say our reunion?

Lois Lane: Yes.

Clark Kent: You were enrolled there for like...

Lois Lane: Twenty three days.

Clark Kent: You showed up for five.

Lois Lane: That's a record in my book. Smallville is the closest thing to a past that this military brat has, and I am not gonna miss it. We don't have to be dating to show up at a reunion together.

Clark Kent: There's a lot of memories there for me.

Lois Lane: Come on, Clark. It would mean a lot to me, seeing all those familiar faces, like I had a place to fit in. And you, I mean, you put the Smallville in Smallville, Smallville.

Clark Kent: I don't know if you're a ghost from my past or the darkness Jor-El that warned me about, but this will come to an end, just like I did the last time.

Brainiac 5: I hope so for your sake.

Clark Kent: My sake? You sent the person I love away. You tried to destroy Chloe, you tried to destroy the world.

Brainiac 5: And you saved me from all of that, Kal-El. I have come back to do the same for you. (shows wearing Legion ring)

Clark Kent: The Legion. You're from the future. What'd you do to them?

Brainiac 5: I joined them. In the 31st century, I'm known as Brainiac 5. The ring, time travel - all my creatons. I brought the league into a new realm of heroism.

Clark Kent: I helped them destroy you.

Brainiac 5: No. They helped you cure me. The problem is Kal-El, you and I aren't very different. We were both created in one way or another by Jor-El, both intended to save civilizations, to bring peace to a brutal world. But neither was immune to corruption to darkness.

Clark Kent: What does that mean? All of sudden everyone's telling me that I have darkness within me. I don't understand what it is or how I'm suppose to change it. You destroyed cities. I may not make the right decisions, but at least I'm trying to save people.

Brainiac 5: Then let me show you, Kal-El. We can't always see it in ourselves, my corruption started with a nanobyte - smaller than the eye can see. But that's all it took.

Future Lois Lane: Wait a minute. Oh, no. Kryptonite again?

Clark Kent: Look, I...

Future Lois Lane: (looks into Clark's eyes) Blue? Red? Not green? Please tell me it's not the black. Because that was a disaster.

Clark Kent: Look, I just... I need the Legion ring. Lois, do you know where it is?

Future Lois Lane: Is that a joke, Clark? Touch it once, shame on you. Touch it twice it, shame on me. And actually, I could really use it right now, because we need to be on the opposite sides of town in ten minutes.

Brainiac 5: I'm only here for you. I wanted to slow things down. Make sure you can soak in this special moment.

Clark Kent: And what's so special about this moment?

Brainiac 5: This is the moment that your life changes forever.

Future Clark Kent: (to Clark, describing his Lois) She's a handful, isn't she? You're right on time.

Clark Kent: You knew I'd be here.

Future Clark Kent: Time travel. Think it through.

Clark Kent: Because you were me when you went through this and I'm...

Future Clark Kent: Well done, my man.

Clark Kent: How did I become so uptight? (looks his future self up and down) And nerdy?

Future Clark Kent: (irritated) There's no time to chat about how, when, and why! We've been through weirder things and I need you on the roof!

Clark Kent: When did I start taking orders?

Future Clark Kent: There's a nuclear reactor that's about to blow on the other side of town. Now, I can't be in two places at once.

Clark Kent: If you knew it was going to happen, then why didn't you stop it?

Future Clark Kent: Because then you wouldn't have experienced all this. And you would never have become me.

Clark Kent: (under his breath) That's too bad.

Future Clark Kent: Roof. Now. (superspeeds away)

Clark Kent: (inspired) That's what I become.

Isis[edit]

[10.05]

Cat Grant: (to Clark) Won't this be the greatest, working together again? Our names looked terrific side-by-side on that byline. I mean, it's like we were meant to be partners, Clark. You're the Popeye to my Olive. The Mickey to my Minnie.

Lois Lane: The sick to my stomach.

(Cat Grant sees Lois and thinking she's the Blur, Cat grabs a pen and stabs her)

Lois Lane: Ow! Uh What the hell? (goes to punch Cat but is stopped by Clark)

Clark Kent: Ladies, who wants to go first?

Lois Lane: She stabbed me!

Cat Grant: (at the same time as Lois) She's the Blur!

Lois Lane: That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. And I thought you were a bottle blonde.

Clark Kent: In the future, Lois already knew about me. What I didn't see is how I told her and when. My instincts have always been to keep my secret, but then I see five minutes of the future that seems too good to be true, and-

Oliver Queen: You came over here hoping that I would try to talk you out of telling her, right?

Clark Kent: No. Maybe.

Oliver Queen: Well... I hate to break it to you, but I say go for it. Best thing I ever did. I could finally be myself. And it turns out people actually like the real me.

Clark Kent: If I remember correctly, coming out to Lois did not have a happy ending. You told Lois the truth, and she dumped you.

Oliver Queen: That - We broke up. Look, Lois and I were never really meant to be together. Clark, she loves you. That makes you a lucky man. Take it from me, living without love is not really living, it's just sort of existing. The question you have to ask yourself is what are you willing to risk for love?

Tess Mercer: So let me get this straight. Lois finds a necklace, gets possessed by an Egyptian Goddess, and now is flying around like Amelia Earhart, minus the plane.

Oliver Queen: Just another Friday night in Metropolis. Who's ready for the weekend?

Clark Kent: All my life I've been afraid, Lois. Afraid of people knowing the truth about me. Afraid of them rejecting me, and even if they didn't, still losing them. I've been afraid of everything I can't control. But when I was faced with the idea of losing you forever, it made me realize there's something I'd regret more than anything else, and that's not telling you the truth about me. 'Cause that's the only way we could share a life together. I know the odds are stacked against us and we'd be risking everything, but if you're ready to take that leap, there's no one else that I'd want to take that leap with. Lois, you've had a lot of questions about The Blur, it's me. I'm The Blur.

Lois Lane: (jumps on Clark, kissing him) What took you so long?

Clark Kent: (confused, realizing that she already knows) What? You...

Harvest[edit]

[10.06]

Lois Lane: Our "Twilight Zone" acid trip to the, uh, Phantom prison - that place was...

Clark Kent: Kryptonian.

Lois Lane: Mm. And that horny-toad-looking thing that crashed Chloe and Jimmy's wedding?

Clark Kent: Kryptonian.

Lois Lane: Mm. And the spaceship that I found in the woods near the dam?

Clark Kent: Also Kryptonian, but it wasn't mine - it was my cousin's.

Lois Lane: Sorry about the third degree, Clark. It's just not every week a girl learns her boyfriend's an...

Clark Kent: Alien? And you're still okay with that?

Lois Lane: Are you kidding me? It's like dating a god or Bono.

Lois Lane: Meteor rock. Maybe that's why when I pulled that blue dagger out of your chest, you - you healed.

Clark Kent: You did that?

Lois Lane: Yeah.

Clark Kent: Lois, you didn't just heal me, you brought me back. You saved me.

Lois Lane: Well sometimes even the hero needs a guardian angel, Clark.

Christina Lamell: If we don't begin his therapy immediately, he'll be dead within six weeks.

Tess Mercer: That's the point. Because he's not just a clone... he is Lex Luthor.

Lois Lane: Hear me out, Clark. Okay, I wasn't a big fan of Ollie's coming-out party, and I used to think that it was best for you to stay in the shadows, too, but maybe someday soon, you'll have to step into the light. You can be a symbol to inspire everyone that this planet could be a better place.

Clark Kent: I'm not sure anyone's ready to believe a stranger from a strange land.

Lois Lane: If they know the real Clark Kent, then I am sure the rest of the world will believe in you as much as I do.

Clark Kent: If we leave now, we'll be back in a flash.

Lois Lane: Oh, but Clark, I'm such a delicate flower... I will, I will wilt in that heat.

Ambush[edit]

[10.07]

Clark Kent: So, what are you in the mood for?

Lois Lane: Oh, I'm in the mood. Just not for breakfast.

Clark Kent: Lois, the bedroom's upstairs.

Lois Lane: Mm-hmm. But the porch swing - it's out there.

Clark Kent: (to Oliver, as they are talking in the loft) You got to go.

Oliver Queen: What, the window? What are we, 16?

Clark Kent: Now.

Clark Kent: We look after each other.

Sam Lane: Good. Because if Lois is going to spend any time around here, I've had a look around, and there's a few things that are gonna have to be brought up to code.

Clark Kent: Like scrubbing the bathroom tile with a toothbrush?

Sam Lane: That's number 17 on the list.

Clark Kent: (looks at list) I guess you're not kidding.

Sam Lane: No, I never do.

Clark Kent: It's over, Flag. We know you blew up that building.

Green Arrow: Fancy move attacking your own country.

Rick Flag: I did it for my country. If you kill Lane, you kill a movement. That registration act is nothing but a weapon to profile, hunt, and destroy us.

Green Arrow: We don't need a history lesson.

Rick Flag: Well, apparently you do, Shamrock. You've become the politicians' poster boy for full disclosure. They're gonna be on your doorstep soon, holding you up as a volunteer. Get up all the other heroes to stand up and be counted and be killed.

Clark Kent: We're not gonna let that happen.

Rick Flag: If the bill passes, it already has! Don't you see? America's turning against us. We have got to fight back, show strength, make them choose us as their leaders.

Clark: You'll be stirring up anti-hero hysteria. Violence isn't the answer.

Rick Flag: Violence is the only answer. And more and more superheroes are coming to my side.

Tess Mercer: No need to worry, my friend.

Oliver Queen: I think it's a little early for "friend." "Friendly" - I can do that. I can be friendly.

Tess Mercer: I'll take it. I was beginning to think the best I could do was "frenemy."

Oliver Queen: I don't even know what that means. We've, uh... We've survived tax audits and typhoons together, Tess. I think we're practically like family at this point.

Tess Mercer: We've come a long way. From the middle of the ocean to the top of the city.

Oliver Queen: I can work with that.

Abandoned[edit]

[10.08]

Granny Goodness: Do you know, I've been always been able to tell an abandoned soul when I see one. It's a gift.

Tess Mercer: Do the girls come here as - as babies?

Granny Goodness: Unfortunately, tragedy strikes as it pleases. They come at any age.

Tess Mercer: It must be difficult to find the older ones permanent homes.

Granny Goodness: Well, the truth is, by the time I get my hands on the lost souls, they no longer have that cute baby scent childless couples yearn for.

Tess Mercer: The children don't spend their entire childhood here, do they?

Granny Goodness: Oh, mercy me. You make it sound like punishment.

Granny Goodness: I've been training my girls for decades not to blend into society - but to conquer it. Here...and around the world. My girls know I'll always be here for them. And I know they'll never desert me.

Lois Lane: Hello. Mister...El? I'm here to talk about your son, Clark. Kal-El. Look, I know as a parent, you had to make the hardest decision ever to save your son and send him here alone. When my Mom was dying, she tried to protect me, too. And I love her, but she was wrong. I will never get to hold her again. But you - you can still be there for Clark - I mean, Kal-El. Your son needs a father who believes in him. I-I wish I knowing that I loved him was enough. But Clark Kent can't fully hear it with the ghost of your disappointment haunting him. You're stopping him from fulfilling his potential. He's an amazing man. He's a hero. (waits for a response from Jor-El, nothing) Really? Nothing? You know, you may not care about anybody else but yourself, but Clark does. And you're not 1/10 the Kryptonian he is. He's lucky to be rid of you!

Lara: My son, I only had the joy for knowing you a few weeks. I wish I could be with you always to guide you and protect you.

Jor-El: We don't have much time.

Lara: My dearest Kal-El, our love will always be with you. I can already see you carry within your father's independent spirit.

Jor-El: But, more importantly, your mother's never ending bravery and her compassionate heart.

Lara: Your father tells me that the new world you are journeying to, Earth, is full of complicated beings capable of great emotion. My wish is for you to live a full and wonderful life, but I need you to know that you were born of a great love. And, your brilliant father has devised a way for you to carry on that love without us.

Jor-El: The ship that I designed to carry you to your destiny can only hold one Kryptonian, one who has so much potential, so unlike your father.

Lara: No.

Jor-El: Your mother and I cannot come with you, to do so would burden your innocent soul with our frailties and our failures. But you have within you, the best of both of us, and I am sending you with all of my knowledge and none of my ego or regrets. They will die with me here on Krypton. Whatever trials I put you through, I will never lose faith in you.

Lara: (Whispers to Jor-El) Quickly, before it's too late. We may not have been able to save our planet...

Jor-El: But we are confident you will become Earth's greatest savior. And never doubt that, just as you're a part of us, we will always be a part of you. Farewell, my son.

Desaad: Godfrey has been chosen. Our Dark Lord has anointed him... made him like us - a prophet. He is Darkseid's third minion.

Gordon Godfrey: So I do have a higher purpose.

Desaad: Yes, Godfrey. Your golden voice is broadcast around the world.

Granny Goodness: Not impressed. And you - I see you're enjoying your clubs. They seem more popular than ever.

Desaad: Our unholy trinity is complete. I bind their bodies, Godfrey breaks their spirit, and you, my beloved friend, you clear their minds, preparing the way for Lord Darkseid.

Patriot[edit]

[10.09]

Clark Kent: Seismic activity.

Arthur Curry: That's how Mera found the place. She's pretty amazing - smart, passionate, fiery. Even helped me understand my true origins.

Clark Kent: You really went off the high dive for her

Arthur Curry: I'm so much more with her than I'm solo.

Clark Kent: You don't feel guilty, putting her in danger?

Arthur Curry: Mera can hold her own. If you're worried about someone a little less superpowered, Mera helped me realize that standing on the sidelines isn't the same as being in the game.

Lieutenant Trotter: Almost done, Mr. Queen.

Oliver Queen: What's with the secret workout room here, huh? Is this a, uh, a secret tryout for the NFL?

Slade Wilson: You're strong and extremely agile with coordination that's off the charts.

Oliver Queen: I'm human.

Slade Wilson: Well, I commend your performance. We'd love to have someone with your gifts serve our country. Help us bring in your less cooperative cohorts.

Oliver Queen: Look, I'll be your poster boy. I'll say your words, I'll be your face, but it ends with me, you understand? Now, there are people out there who want to believe in you. They want to believe in this country. Give them a chance to prove that, to be the heroes that we all need.

Slade Wilson: You got nerve, I like that. But your draft card wasn't a two-for-one special. Please, allow me to make a more convincing argument.

Mera: I am Mera, wife of Orin, future king of the Seven Seas. The one you call Arthur Curry.

Lois Lane: A.C. got married. Aren't you just full of reveals?

Mera: Orin is finally embracing his destiny and leading his people.

Lois Lane: Hang on. "His people." Like, down under and not Australia? Anyway, I need to find Clark.

Mera: Certainly you're not a partner in his endeavors?

Lois Lane: Wow, some people get a ring on their finger, and everyone else's relationship just doesn't cut it.

Mera: Spoken like one who can't be satisfied by a man of her own kind. You desire those who are extraordinary - first Orin, then Oliver, now Clark.

Lois Lane: You've gotta be kidding me? Little Mermaid? Your prince and I dated for a day.

Mera: It's understandable that you would seek a superior being companion. I'm just surprised that powerful men would choose someone of lesser ability.

Lois Lane: Listen, squid lips, you don't know anything about me or Clark.

Mera: I know you came here looking for Clark. You're in the dark...protected but not included. Do you really want the harsh light of truth?

Clark Kent: Slade! I'm not gonna let you continue destroying people's faith in justice.

Slade Wilson: Made of steel, or just a man? You can't be both. (shoots at Clark, bullets ricochet off him) So it is you. (Slade presses a button on the wall, kryptonite-lined wall surrounds Clark)

Clark Kent: What are you doing? I need to get you out of here!

Slade Wilson: This whole place was built for the express purpose of containing your kind. And your weakness was the hardest to learn. You see? You're not above the law. You're not even above me.

Clark Kent: How can you be so determined in seeing us as the enemy, instead of working with us. Look... let me save you. You'll never get out!

Slade Wilson: I know, but it's worth it. To destroy the single greatest threat to democracy, no civilian in this country should be more powerful than the law. That's what keeps the order. That's what keeps us strong.

Clark Kent: Shut it down. Let me help you.

Slade Wilson: I'd rather die for my country than be saved by an abomination like you.

Clark Kent: You asked me a question. I guess you'll get your answer. I am man and steel.

Arthur Curry: Glad you didn't find your Davy Jones down there after that explosion.

Clark Kent: I know how much you love the water, but I couldn't be happier to have my two feet on solid ground.

Arthur Curry: Oh, just as well. 'Cause let's be honest, underwater, you look like a clown fish.

Luthor[edit]

[10.10]

Clark Kent: Emil finally finished working through the files we found after the fire. There's one body still unaccounted for - LX-15. There's another Lex on the loose.

Tess Mercer: Why look here? I closed the book on this place months ago.

Clark Kent: Supplies are still being sent here.

Tess Mercer: Someone's helping him survive, but you're assuming he's a threat just because he's a Luthor. What ever happened to everyone deserving a second chance?

Clark Kent: No, Luthor blood is Luthor blood. It's poison.

Lionel Luthor-2: The heart - it'll blind you, son. You want to be your own man. That's natural. But remember, Clark - I am your father and I alone raised you in my own image to become the man that you are today.

Clark Kent: I must have lost perspective.

Lionel Luthor-2: But that's why I'm here - to set you back on the right path. You could conquer the universe. The Man of Tomorrow - Clark Luthor! I sometimes shudder to think what would have happened to my little traveler if he had been discovered in that cornfield by the first ignorant farmer that came along. Where on earth would you be now?

Clark Luthor: Hardly any trace of Lionel at all. It's refreshing, actually...being out from under our father's shadow.

Tess Mercer: Lionel Luthor's been dead for years. Lex killed him.

Clark Luthor: I guess Lex did something right in this place. I got to tell you, sis - this alternate Earth - it's a blast. Doesn't feel right, though. Not having blood on my hands before lunch.

Clark Kent: I'm sorry, it's just something I had to do.

Lois Queen: Stay away from me Clark or Ultraman or whoever the hell you are! I know what happens when someone sees your face. Help!

Clark Kent: Lois, where I'm from, Lois Lane, you and I are allies. You always have my back, how else would I know that you're brave and loyal and a force of nature?

Lois Queen: Anybody could have told you that about me.

Clark Kent: Look, You misspell words, simple words at an alarmingly frequent basis. Can you never admit I'm right even when I call you on it?

Lois Queen: Why would I?

Clark Kent: You can always tell when I'm lying, you can see right through me, straight to my soul... to my heart. Lois, there's got to be a part of you that knows I'm telling the truth.

Lois Queen: Who are you?

Clark Kent: My name is Clark Kent and I promise Lois, I will never let this happen to us. I can't live in a world where you don't love me.

Lois Lane: What are these for?

Clark Kent: Nothing says "Sorry My Doppelganger From A Parallel Earth Tried To Kill You" like flowers.

Lois Lane: I think there's a card for that now.

Clark Kent: The store was out. I destroyed the mirror box. You won't ever have to worry about seeing him again.

Lois Lane: He wasn't you, Clark. I mean, not you you.

Clark Kent: Well, I know the circumstances were different from that side, but that was still me in that mirror. And the way you looked at me, Lois, it was so much hate...it was like you already formed your opinion about Clark Luthor - for good reason. He was a monster. I was a monster.

Lois Lane: Kind of makes you wonder how "Earth Two" Lois Lane managed to put up with such a colossal tool.

Clark Kent: Consider yourself universally consistent. Didn't cut him any slack. But I do think she was about to give him another chance.

Lois Lane: You don't need to worry about second chances with me. You're doing really well with the first one.

Icarus[edit]

[10.11]

Clark Kent: (nervously to Lois) Listen, why don't we go get something to eat at the new place?

Lois Lane: You mean the place that requires reservations six months in advance? That's a nice thought Romeo but we will never get a table

Clark Kent: We will never know unless we ask and I hope the answer is yes.

Oliver Queen: Clark, come on. Now the whole world thinks I'm a terrorist. I mean, that's not exactly something you want on your Fortune 500 bio or at your wedding, so...

Clark Kent: Well, that's too bad, 'cause I was just about to invite you to be my best man. You're the guy who stands next to me on the worst days of my life. And I want you there for the best one, too.

Oliver Queen: Hey, I - you kidding? Absolutely. Thank you. (shakes Clark's hand)

Carter Hall: All I can say is when it comes to planning the wedding, just nod. A lot.

Oliver Queen: Well, you would know, right? I mean, you married Shayera, what, a hundred times now?

Dr. Emil Hamilton: Well, I've heard of relationships that withstand the test of time, but that's remarkable. Oh, or not, I suppose. For you.

Carter Hall: Even though I married Shayera a hundred times, I had to lose her that many, as well. Now, I know I don't usually get all warm and fuzzy, but I am sorry. About Chloe.

Oliver Queen: You're not gonna hug me now, are you?

Slade Wilson: I was wonder how long you'd hide and let your friends take the fall.

Clark Kent: I heard the explosion. You were in it. How did you...

Slade Wilson: Survive? Let's just say the reaper can swing his sickle at me, but I'm beyond death's stroke now.

Lois Lane: I'll get you help. Okay?

Carter Hall: No. It's too late. Hey. I'm a pro at dying, remember?

Clark Kent: I should have been there, Carter. I'm sorry.

Carter Hall: Can't always be you, Clark. This is all our fight. Listen. Listen! This is what we do. And my passing means I'll be with Shayera again.

Clark Kent: I owe you so much, I don't even know how to begin to thank you.

Carter Hall: You just did. You hold on to her. Because there has to be a balance, Clark. We can't do what we have to do if there's an emptiness in our hearts. Remember that.

Clark Kent: I will. I promise.

Carter Hall: Oh, I am sorry I won't be able to help you fight the darkness. (looks at Lois) But you have all the help that you need.

Collateral[edit]

[10.12]

Chloe Sullivan: You're not hallucinating, Oliver, and you're not insane. Trust me.

Oliver Queen: Really? Well, that's kind of hard to believe, considering you just materialized out of a wall.

Chloe Sullivan: I've got to get you out of here.

Oliver Queen: Chloe? Hate to rain on your program, but I'm in a straightjacket. I'm in a cell in a lockdown wing of a hospital. I-I'm not going anywhere.

Chloe Sullivan: Only if you believe that's true. Simple mind over matter. Because I believe everything I see is fake, I'm not limited by it. I have power. The sooner you believe everything you see is fantasy, the sooner you can manipulate it. Break free of it.

Oliver Queen: (straightjacket disappears) How'd you do that?

Chloe Sullivan: I didn't. You did.

Lois Lane: Chloe would never hurt Oliver.

Dinah Lance: Not unless he got in her way, like these guys. (they watch a video of Chloe gunning down VRA guards)

Lois Lane: Well, I can't be right. And I hate to crash on your tea party, but my cousin is no Benedict Arnold.

Dinah Lance: She's taking out operatives in cold blood, Lois! I don't know whose side she's on, but it's not ours!

Lois Lane: Not everybody switches sides as easily as some of us. And let's not forget, when we first met Black Canary, she was nothing more than Lex Luthor's little organ-grinder monkey. I mean, did you ever look to see who the bad guys really are before you start throwing knives and spin-kicks there, chickadee?

Dinah Lance: Violent criminals deserve to fry. And if your cousin's one of them, well, that's a campfire that I'm not afraid to sing around.

Clark Kent: How'd you do it? Trust me, I mean - back then, before you found out.

Chloe Sullivan: I had my suspicions.

Clark Kent: But that's what I mean. You knew I was lying to you, and still you looked me in the eye every day and you trusted me.

Chloe Sullivan: I guess that's the true test of believing in someone - knowing that their lies are there to protect you. It's not really trust if you ask someone to explain themselves.

Clark Kent: But that's hard.

Chloe Sullivan: It's really hard.

Clark Kent: You never gave up.

Chloe Sullivan: And I never will.

Clark Kent: I've been thinking about what you said - that I should shut my eyes and ears to the outside world to figure what's true. You made me believe. And you got me to fly. Even if it was just in cyberspace.

Lois Lane: Well, I have to say Smallville, that soaring over the Daily Planet and the spires of Metropolis was amazing.

Clark Kent: Well, who knows? Maybe one day, we'll get to fly in the real world.

Lois Lane: I've always believed that you can do the impossible, and one day you will.

Beacon[edit]

[10.13]

Clark Kent: Mom, people are upset. They're getting violent.

Martha Kent: Clark, if you don't let me do this, there will never be a day where you can come out of hiding. People need someone to believe in.

Clark Kent: I'm not gonna let you sacrifice yourself.

Martha Kent: Your father and I made a pact many years ago. We knew protecting you would always be dangerous, but we vowed to do it, even if it cost us our lives. I'm willing to sacrifice the same thing your father did.

Clark Kent: But I'm not gonna to let go on a suicide mission for me. And the person who did this to you is still out there, and I'm gonna find them. I'm not ready to say goodbye to you, too.

Chloe Sullivan: You know, who would have thought there would have been a day when heroes need this much protection?

Martha Kent: It's nothing new. A long time ago, Jonathan and I realized Clark wasn't just our blessing. Someday we'd have to share him with the world. Protecting him suddenly became a much bigger responsibility.

Chloe Sullivan: That explains why the Red Queen eventually entered the game.

Martha Kent: I've been watching you, too. I know you took over where Waller left off, but why did you leave Clark's side in the first place?

Chloe Sullivan: Same reason you did. It turns out there's a very fine line between being protective and being overprotective.

Martha Kent: We both needed to leave for Clark to stand up on his own. But maybe we stepped away too far.

Chloe Sullivan: Mrs. Kent, I never stopped watching his back.

Martha Kent: Clark needs you as much as the world needs him. You're part of this family, Chloe.

Chloe Sullivan: You know, growing up, I never really had much of a mother figure to look up to - until I met you. You really taught me what it meant to take care of the people that I love.

Martha Kent: And as Clark's oldest friend, I can't think of anyone better to watch over him.

Oliver Queen: (to Alexander) So, what was that this morning, huh? Was that, uh - was that your idea to show daddy you got the killer instinct, too? Is that what that was?

Lionel Luthor-2: Are you making an accusation against my son? No one will take your word, you're a convicted felon. You should have stayed out of the spotlight, but you wanted celebrity. You made one fatal mistake - you trusted them, the people. They're vulgar, uneducated, and stupid, and they don't even know when you're fighting for them. Must be heart-wrenching.

Oliver Queen: Well, you got it all figured out. I'll tell you what - I wouldn't underestimate the common man in tomorrow's vote. When the VRA's repealed and my name is cleared, I'm coming after you.

Lionel Luthor-2: No, you're wrong. Tomorrow, the people will turn on you again, believe me. You missed the mark, Green Arrow.

Alexander Luthor: And now its our turn... again.

Alexander Luthor: No second chances, Lionel. It's time to end this family feud.

Lionel Luthor-2: Alexander, please listen to me.

Alexander Luthor: I know I'm dying. I'm aging faster and faster. I have all of Lex's memories. And he despised every single one of you.

Lionel Luthor-2: Listen. Listen to me, son. Don't let hate master you. Make it your servant. Use it. Let it build inside of you. Hate can make you strong. I can teach you how.

Alexander Luthor: There's nothing left for you to teach me.

Clark Kent: I want to be the man that you made that suit for.

Martha Kent: Clark, you don't need a suit the be the world's hero.

Clark Kent: Well, when I saw those people willing to defend me, it was inspiring. It got me to thinking that, in order for The Blur to be a true beacon of hope, maybe people need to see my face, too. I've been to the future, and I saw the hero that I will become to save the city. But I also saw me - I mean... Clark Kent - disguised behind glasses and a bad haircut.

Martha Kent: Well, I'm sure you still looked very handsome.

Clark Kent: Mom, I don't how I can treat Clark Kent as a disguise. I mean, you and dad raised me to be who I am right now - the real Clark Kent.

Martha Kent: What's real is your strength and integrity and compassion. As long as you remain honest to those things, it doesn't matter what you wear or what name you go by, because... you'll always be my son.

Clark Kent: So, you're saying that I should become that hero and step into the light?

Martha Kent: Clark, you are the light.

Masquerade[edit]

[10.14]

Lois Lane: My Turkish is a little rusty, but it seems someone managed to pull off a supersave there, and now Ankara's also wondering who America's Blur hero is. Meanwhile, in Buenos Aires, they are offering a national commendation to "El Salvador de Rojo y Azul" if he'd stand still long enough to receive it. And I won't even bother with the Chinese because I would just sound racist.

Oliver Queen: Ya know, when I said that I wanted to spoon you later, this isn't really what I had in mind.

Chloe Sullivan: We're lying alone together in the dark, okay. I think that counts for something.

Oliver Queen: Yeah, you're probably right. This is definitely the most romantic of my recent kidnappings. Helluva way to spend an anniversary, right? (Chloe is guilty silent) Oh, gee...you forgot!

Chloe Sullivan: No. No. No! I did not forget that it's been a year since we started doing... whatever it is that we've been doing.

Oliver Queen: Whatever it is that we've...wow. You weren't joking around at the restaurant, were ya? You don't know what to call me.

Chloe Sullivan: Not in so many words.

Oliver Queen: Okay!

Chloe Sullivan: (car hits a bump) Ow!... Oliver!

Oliver Queen: We spend every waking moment together. We've said our "I love yous" how many times, huh? Several. What do you call that?

Chloe Sullivan: Can we talk about this later?

Oliver Queen: Yeah, no... I'd love to do that... If there is a later.

Chloe Sullivan: (sighing) You're so dramatic.

Desaad: I was wondering when we would meet again.

Clark Kent: What exactly are you, Desaad?

Desaad: A prophet. A servant, loyal to a far greater power.

Clark Kent: The darkness.

Desaad: To Darkseid. When he last laid his eyes upon you, you wore your sin openly. You're much more self-assured now. More love in your heart than when you faced Godfrey. Stronger than when you faced Granny, as well. Sadly incorruptible. They, much like I, have been preparing for something...amazing.

Clark Kent: And that's why the three of you have been burning your Omega symbols on innocent people.

Desaad: You act as though the marks weren't there to begin with...but I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.

Clark Kent: And I should be wearing a mask. Unfortunately, I've lived my entire life up until this point without needing one. That's why I've been so reluctant. I mean, this is the face that my parents raised. It's the face of the man that you love. And I don't want to deny who I am when I'm out there doing what I was born to do.

Lois Lane: Then why bother with the jacket, Clark, the symbols?

Clark Kent: When I'm out there in the red and blue, and I'm saving people, that's who I really am. And I know this is gonna sound weird, but it's not what I'm called that should define who I am. It's who I am that should define what I'm called. Clark Kent - it's...it's just a name. It's just a word. I am The Blur, and I always have been.

Lois Lane: Clark, you can't just whip out a new costume at work.

Clark Kent: The Blur is not the disguise, Lois. Clark Kent will be the mask.

Lois Lane: Okay. Okay, but the only way the glasses are ever going to work...

Clark Kent: If I adjust my behavior when I use them. I know. The world needs to believe that Clark Kent is way too normal to be...

Lois Lane: Super.

Clark Kent: And even though we silenced Godfrey, we shutdown Granny's orphanage, and buried Desaad underneath Belle Reve, it's not the last time we've seen Darkseid. But I'll be ready...(puts on glasses)...hiding in plain sight.

Lois Lane: So you're willing to dial back the hometown hero and crank up the Average Joe?

Clark Kent: If that's what it takes to be the hero the people need, (glasses slide down a little; he pushes glasses up nose in iconic fashion)...yes, Miss Lane, I am.

Fortune[edit]

[10.15]

Clark Kent: (to Chloe) You don't think we...?

Chloe Sullivan: Exchanged vows?

Clark Kent: Uh, well, I mean...

Chloe Sullivan: Said "I do"?

Clark Kent: ...both...

Chloe Sullivan: Did the deed? God, don't say the word "consummate." The answer has to be "no."

Oliver Queen: How the hell did we end up here, anyway?

Lois Lane: Oh, I have no idea. But in that green getup of yours, we're gonna stand out like a hooker in a church.

Oliver Queen: (looks down and notice he's wearing a sea foam colored tuxedo jacket) What?

Lois Lane: Yeah.

Oliver Queen: What is this?

Amos Fortune: You are an eye full. You know, like the Tower in Paris. You put these other hothouse girls to shame.

Oliver Queen: Thanks, man.

Chloe Sullivan: You're not alone, Clark Kent. In all my globe-trotting, I have met several others like you - a billionaire with high tech toys and a wondrous woman who's gonna throw you for a loop.

Tess Mercer: Hey, hound dog. You really rocked this town.

Dr. Emil Hamilton: I suppose that's supposed to be humorous?

Tess Mercer: It's just... well, it was a nice surprise to see our mild-manner doctor have a special power of his own.

Scion[edit]

[10.16]

Lionel Luthor-2: I applaud your efforts, but you can't hide Alexander from me forever.

Tess Mercer: I'm saving him from an encore performance of "Daddy Dearest".

Lionel Luthor-2: Give me my son.

Tess Mercer: I'm surprised that you are so hell-bent on this family reunion, given the fact that on this world it was Lex that sent Lionel plummeting to his death.

Lionel Luthor-2: That's proof that the Lex you knew was a true Luthor.

Clark Kent: Conner has... he's only half Lex, it turns out.

Lois Lane: What? Okay, if you say the other half is Tess, I'm going to officially write that family off for good.

Clark Kent: Lois, the other half is me.

Lois Lane: Are you trying to tell me that Conner is the genetic love child of Clark Kent and Lex Luthor?

Clark Kent: You don't have to say it like that.

Clark Kent: Everything we do with our abilities is our responsibility. That's why we have to learn to control them before they control us. That's why we practice.

Conner Kent: I lifted the tractor without any practice.

Clark Kent: When you put it down, you broke the beam behind the stall.

Lionel Luthor-2: (incapacitates Clark with kryptonite) No. You'll never take my son.

Conner Kent: What are you doing?!

Lionel Luthor-2: Eliminating the one person who stands in the way of your destiny.

Clark Kent: Let him go!

Lionel Luthor-2: Let's go, son. Remember who you are. You are meant to become a god. Together, we can make sure you do.

Conner Kent: I know who I am. (destroys the kryptonite with his heat vision to save Clark)

Conner Kent: I'm not like you, Clark. I mean, maybe on the outside with what I can do, but what that ring brought out in me - that was all Lex.

Clark Kent: There's a shadow inside all of us. But that doesn't mean you need to embrace it. You decide who you really are. And I know you'll make the right choice and become the hero you're destined to be.

Conner Kent: That means a lot coming from you. Well, if you feel that way, maybe, uh, I should start dressing for the part. (opens his jacket, revealing a black t-shirt with House of El family crest) I know I have a lot to learn. But when you feel I'm ready to join the team, I'd like to.

Kent[edit]

[10.17]

Lois Lane: You want to help me out here?

Clark Luthor: You're kinda cute when you squirm.

Lois Lane: Okay, bonus.

Clark Luthor: Listen, Tess, I know better than anyone what it's like to walk around with a-a mark on you. It's lonely.

Tess Mercer: Being the world's greatest hero is just a little bit different than being Satan's child.

Clark Luthor: Angel or devil is in the eye of he who beholds it.

Tess Mercer: "He who beholds it"? What have you been watching a little too much BBC lately?

Clark Kent: Look, this may be hard for you to understand considering everything that's happened to you in this world. You taught me so much. You taught me to be fair and honest. You taught me the only person in control of your destiny...

Jonathan Kent-2: Is you.

Clark Kent: You were the man that I tried to live up to. You didn't have powers, and you didn't have a destiny to save the world, but you were my hero. And I lost you.

Jonathan Kent-2: You don't even know me. I'm just an obsessed man hanging onto a place as if memories could make up a lifetime.

Clark Kent: This place isn't your home. Martha is. It's not the place, it's the people in it. And Martha's still here. You still have a chance. It's better to risk everything than hold onto nothing.

Jonathan Kent-2: Who told you that?

Clark Kent: You did.

Clark Kent: You made yourself the most hated man in your world. But there's still a chance of redemption for you.

Clark Luthor: Redemption? Looks like the two of us have different preoccupations.

Clark Kent: I'm sorry that you weren't found by Jonathan and Martha Kent. The thing is, you could have killed Tess in an instant. But something was holding you back. You can go to your world and show people what you can give them, change their minds.

Clark Luthor: Why would you ever believe in me?

Clark Kent: Because I know you. And Lionel's not there anymore. You don't need to be defined by your past, you can choose a different future. So trust me.

Booster[edit]

[10.18]

Jaime Reyes: Who are you?

Booster Gold: I'm sure you're all wondering who I am. Well, how about the 411? I'm pure gold, ladies and gentlemen. I am Booster Gold, the greatest hero you've never heard of...till now!

Clark Kent: (to Booster Gold) The suit doesn't make the hero. A hero's made in the moment by the choices that he makes and the reasons that he makes them. A hero brings out the best in people. I don't doubt behind that star, there is a hero...but I haven't seen him. Not yet.

Skeets: May I offer a piece of advice from your former career, sir?

Booster Gold: Football?

Skeets: Go big or go home.

Booster Gold: Well, you know what? I've got some advice for you too.

Clark Kent: What's that?

Booster Gold: "The Blur." No. No, no, no. It sounds like a roller coaster or something. You need something strong. You need something simple. Something that actually starts with that "S" you wear. Something...super. You got to brand it, baby. You know?

Clark Kent: I'll start brainstorming.

Ted Kord: This boy is absolutely unique. He managed to shut down the scarab.

Lois Lane: I'm guessing not everyone has what it takes to do that. So, Mr. Kord, does this mean that you'll be able to remove it from him?

Jaime Reyes: I- No. I mean, will that take away the powers it gives me?

Ted Kord: Yes, but-

Jaime Reyes: I want to learn how to use them. I want to be a hero like Booster Gold.

Booster Gold: I don't know, kid. You know... what do you say we give Miss Lane here an exclusive on the real hero of the day?

Dominion[edit]

[10.19]

Clark Kent: Hey, Lois. Where can I put this box?

Lois Lane: Well, I don't think that requires any super-sleuthing. It does say "living room."

Clark Kent: No, I can decipher your scrawl. I'm just thinking it was mislabeled.

Lois Lane: If you're talking about my Whitesnake throw pillow, loving everything about me includes the sentimental. I made this from my 8th grade concert t-shirt. And I talked to Oliver, and he told me how smoothly he and Chloe fused their hero green and geek chic.

Clark Kent: Don't worry. My "for better or worse" will include your love of hair metal.

Oliver Queen: Listen, about this Zone, Clark - You know, when you said Jor-El built a prison, I kind of pictured something more confined than a national park.

Clark Kent: He built this place so Krypton's worst criminals could have some kind of life.

Oliver Queen: Sounds like a real sweetheart.

General Zod: I know, it's a terrible feeling. So powerless when you know you've got such strength inside of you, with no way of unleashing it.

Clark Kent: Even without the yellow sun, I will find a way to defeat you.

General Zod: You'll have to work twice as hard. Because when I arrived here, I met a very special acquaintance, someone you know, and someone that I'm very, very...fond of.

Clark Kent: Who?

General Zod: Me.

Clark Kent: The original Zod's phantom.

General Zod: Finally back in the body that you stripped me of. Now I have the full knowledge of two lives, and you...you are my enemy in both.

Clark Kent: I defeated you in both.

General Zod: Which is why it will give double the satisfaction to see you kneel...and serve...until you die.

Clark Kent: You have the console crystal. How?

General Zod: We're blood brothers, Kal-El. Have you forgotten how you healed me with your blood on Earth?

Clark Kent: We're not brothers. I saved you because it was the right thing to do. We have nothing in common.

General Zod: We're from the same world. Do you really think that having powers is the only thing that makes you Kryptonian? It's not. We share the same instincts. We're decisive...single-minded, headstrong. We were meant to be leaders.

Clark Kent: Leaders? You're a tyrant who believes only in himself.

General Zod: Who else should I put my faith in? We both know that trusting others is a calculated risk, one a Kryptonian is not willing to take. Oh, we can easily fool those closest to us, can't we? But we can lean on no one. Do you remember that most famous story about two brothers from your adopted planet? You've got Cain and Abel. Which brother are you, Kal-El?

Clark Kent: Well, I'd never murder you. I saved you.

General Zod: You exiled me. I'm in charge here. And you're about to find out what that means, brother.

General Zod: I've seen what Darkseid is capable of.

Oliver Queen: What do you know?

General Zod: After the Kandorians sent me here, a very powerful entity came looking for me. Darkseid promised me lordship of this dominion if I solved one problem for him.

Oliver Queen: Clark.

General Zod: Darkseid has certain ambitions for your planet.

Oliver Queen: The thing is, we took care of that. We blocked him. Took out three of his three little minions, too.

General Zod: Kal-El might delude himself as usual, that's how he's won, but there are millions - millions on Earth just waiting to surrender to the will of Darkseid, and you friend, are one of them.

Prophecy[edit]

[10.20]

Jor-El: Kal-El, my son, you have returned.

Clark Kent: Jor-El, I come here today as a Kryptonian, as a member of your house, and your son. In honor of our home, I'm here to declare my desire to start a life bond with this woman...Lois Lane.

Jor-El: Lois Lane, do you truly intend to initiate a life union with my son?

Lois Lane: I do.

Jor-El: Your pledge is observed. If your lives are to be joined, then you must both understand.

Oliver Queen: I'm starting to regret not packing my intergalactic dictionary about now. No way these are Celtic.

Kara Kent: No. They're Apokolyptian.

Oliver Queen: (sees Kara trapped in a ray beam) You're Clark's cousin, Kara, right?

Kara Kent: Yeah.

Oliver Queen: How long have you been down here? I got to get you out.

Kara Kent: No, wait. It'll kill you. (throws a rock at the ray beam, rock disintegrates)

Oliver Queen: Right. Okay. There's got to be some way to turn off this death ray from hell.

Oliver Queen: So let me get this straight - whoever wields the Bow of Orion can use it to vanquish darkness. Is that what you're saying?

Kara Kent: According to the prophecy, yeah.

Oliver Queen: Well, that's me. Think about it - a bow, right? The medium is the message.

Kara Kent: You never told me why you were seeking it.

Oliver Queen: Well, promise you won't tell anyone, but I'm trying to change my fate. The Bow of Orion is the key. It worked for him, right?

Kara Kent: Only after he found the strength to turn away from the darkness, even though that meant turning away from his father.

Oliver Queen: Orion is Darkseid's son.

Kara Kent: Yes. He was raised by someone who believes in spreading the light instead of the darkness his birthfather created. And eventually he swore to serve that light instead.

Jor-El: There are two paths laid before you, Kara. You can leave Earth now and allow Kal-El to embrace his destiny, or you can stay and help him, risking the future of this planet.

Kara Kent: Kal-El and I have fought Darkseid before.

Jor-El: You involved Kal-El against my wishes. He was too weak then, and he was almost overcome by darkness. You have grown strong. Your will is no longer at the mercy of my command. You will need that strength to forge your own path. It is in your hands to choose.

Kara Kent: You want me to just walk away?

Jor-El: Kara, your own destiny is written. It is in another place and time. But this is Kal-El's battle, and he must fight it alone. Even though a time will come when he turns away from me, in the end, he will make the right decision. He is ready. This is his time.

Kara Kent: He's the only family I have left. I have to at least warn him.

Jor-El: Sometimes the greatest sacrifice a person can make is to give up what they hold most dear.

Jor-El: Kal-El, I trust you found my gift to the both of you illuminating.

Clark Kent: It wasn't a gift. It was a trial. And it wasn't about Lois appreciating what it was like to have my abilities or me realizing what it was like to be human. It was about control.

Jor-El: Your trials are not a riddle, Kal-El. They are stepping stones on a long path.

Clark Kent: A path that I have blindly walked forever, but I understand now. This whole time, it's been up to me to decide when to take control of my own destiny. The trials end when I'm ready for them to end.

Jor-El: Your journey is far from over.

Clark Kent: But I can only be what the world needs when I can finally admit that I am no longer just the son of Jor-El or Jonathan Kent. And you knew the time would come when neither of you can guide me anymore, and that time...is now. Goodbye, Jor-El.

Finale Part 1[edit]

[10.21]

Chloe Sullivan: "This is the story of an amazing boy who grew up in the fields of Kansas in a little town called Smallville. When he became a man, he believed the only way to seize his destiny was to turn his back on both his parents and refused to see the darkness descending on Earth. But all that was about to change. He was about to face his greatest challenge."

Granny Goodness: I want to give your soul eternal life! Please, Lutessa, let me save you!

Tess Mercer: From what?

Granny Goodness: Darkseid's Apokolips. Evil in its purest form - the heart of human nature, obscured over time as something to be cast away rather than embraced. Hades, Kali - even the word "Lucifer" is an old Latin phrase meaning "morning star," "bringer of light." I'm afraid the centuries and translations have twisted Darkseid's true gifts. But before the end of days, his rapture will be the only salvation.

Tess Mercer: I will never join you.

Granny Goodness: Farewell, my child. Bless your soul.

Tess Mercer: Wait. When? I mean, what do you mean? When? When is this hell coming?

Granny Goodness: It's not coming, Lutessa. It's upon us.

Lois Lane: There's no Chloe quip that's gonna change my mind. Clark can hear the world's cries for help, and he's duty-bound to answer the call. I'm not gonna stand in his way.

Chloe Sullivan: He can't listen all the time, Lois. He's not God. He can't be aware of every bird or blade of grass, okay? He's a man. And sometimes he needs to not listen. He needs to rest, to love, to laugh. And when he finally does to decide to take to the skies, he's gonna need you to ground him.

Lois Lane: Well, that's what I'm afraid of. I'm grounding him, keeping him from soaring to new heights.

Chloe Sullivan: Oh, Lois...that is so not what he thinks. But since you're not gonna meet him at the altar...(gives Clark's vows to her)...you should hear that from his own words.

Lois Lane: (wedding vows to Clark) I wanted these vows to be perfect, but perfection's a hard thing to get your hands on. But life is meant to be a little messy. And when it comes to love, I think it's like my dad always said about the army. You only sign up if it's the only thing you can ever imagine doing. And Clark, I cannot imagine spending a moment of my life without you. So I promise that I will always have your back as you will always have mine. You're my best friend, you're my home, and you are my true love, and I am yours and will be forever.

Clark Kent: (wedding vows to Lois) I Clark Kent take you Lois Lane to be my companion, forever. And with you by my side I will never be alone. Though the world sees a strong and independent woman, I've never known someone with such gentle grace and more pure heart. When I've been lost you've always been there to bring me back, so on this day, at this moment, I pledge the rest of my life to you. You've always believed in me, and I believe in you. And when you believe in someone it's not for a minute, or just for now, it's forever.

Finale Part 2[edit]

[10.22]

Clark Kent: Lois, we know the prophets use the people's darkness to mark them with an Omega. What we don't know is why. And Tess quoted one of the prophecies as saying that the markings weren't just spiritual. There's some sort of anti-life dark force that could bring about the Apokolips.

Lois Lane: You mean like bringing a giant planet crashing into ours?

Clark Kent: Exactly like that. Maybe the marking has some sort of unexplainable gravitational pull.

Lois Lane: Too bad anti-life equations aren't covered in Physics 101.

Clark Kent: I need to figure out a way to lift the darkness and break whatever's binding these people to that planet.

Lois Lane: Today definitely tops Chloe's Wall of Weird. Exactly how many are marked?

Clark Kent: (scans the people in the room with his x-ray vision, they are marked with the Omega) More than you want to know.

Lex Luthor: Hello, Clark. Can't say I love what you've done with the place.

Clark Kent: Lex.

Lex Luthor: You still say it the same way - astonishment mixed with a hint of dread, yet... with a hopeful finish.

Clark Kent: You're alive.

Lex Luthor: Seems my father had a... a change of heart. And I got a second chance of life.

Clark Kent: Where's Tess? What have you done with her?!

Lex Luthor: She's fine. I wouldn't worry so much about my dear little sister. You know, I used to think it was our families who made us who we are. Then I hoped it was our friends. But if you look at history, the great men and women of the world have always been defined by their enemies.

Clark Kent: You have a second chance. You can change all that.

Lex Luthor: But that's the thing about memories - you can't forget them. Like how you're always one step ahead of me, Clark. No matter how meticulously I prepared, no matter how strategic I was, if only I'd known I never stood a chance.

Clark Kent: It wasn't a competition.

Lex Luthor: Of course it wasn't. You were born to be the chosen one. You're simply better than us.

Clark Kent: And that always killed you.

Lex Luthor: No. No, what killed me is that you didn't even want it. You fought it - you hid from it! I would have taken it and relished it, embraced it.

Clark Kent: My destiny wasn't yours to take!

Lex Luthor: I get that now. Which is why I finally embraced my own. You and I... we will both be great men. Because of each other, we have a destiny together, Clark... only on different sides.

Clark Kent: I'll always be there to stop you. Always.

Lex Luthor: Oh, I'm counting on it.

Jor-El: Your journey has come to an end, Kal-El.

Clark Kent: I shouldn't have tried to push away my Kryptonian side. My strength is accepting it - accepting you.

Jor-El: You honor me. A father's pride cannot be measured in words, but know that I'm proud of you, son.

Clark Kent: You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that.

Jor-El: We have been down our long road, Kal-El - one paved with difficult trials. Those trials are behind you now. Any father can only hope that he is one day humbled by the feats of his son. But it is your soul, Kal-El, of which I am most proud. You - and you alone - possess the courage, the determination, and the compassion that will be required of you to lift the darkness from the Earth. (returns the suit to Clark) I ask you to remember one thing. Your abilities may be of my blood, but it is your time in Smallville, with Jonathan and Martha Kent and all the people there, that made you a hero, Kal-El.

Jonathan Kent: Always hold on to Smallville. (hands the suit over to Clark)

Lois Lane: How many "Great Caesar's ghosts"?

Jimmy Olsen: Four, before his coffee. But...did you get my shots?

Lois Lane: Love the framing, love the colors. Where's the drama?

Jimmy Olsen: Um... Um, did you see the one with the elephant?

Lois Lane: The Man of Steel deserves something better than a circus incident and a fender-bender. I want pecs, I want cape, I want pearly whites.

Jimmy Olsen: Yes, Miss Lane.

Lois Lane: Great. Your brother left big shoes for you to fill, Olsen. I know you're up to the task.

Clark Kent: (The last line of the series, to Lois) Just tell the minister I'm gonna be a few minutes late.

Season 11[edit]

Guardian[edit]

[11.01]

Detective[edit]

[11.02]

Haunted[edit]

[11.03]

Effigy[edit]

[11.04]

Argo[edit]

[11.05]

Valkyrie[edit]

[11.06]

Olympus[edit]

[11.07]

Hollow[edit]

[[11.08]

Titans[edit]

[11.09]

Alien[edit]

[11.10]

Harbinger[edit]

[11.11]

Lantern[edit]

[11.12]

Chaos[edit]

[11.13]

Continuity[edit]

[11.14]