Chapter 28
A Family Dinner
"They're coming!" Sirius exclaimed with giddy excitement.
"What?" I asked.
"Harry's coming over! Little Man did it!"
"He…I…"
I quickly stopped what I was doing. I wiped at my eyes to make sure I wasn't crying. I could hardly believe it. For the first time in nearly a month, Harry would be forced to be in close proximity to me. Maybe there was hope of restoring what was once between us.
The front door opened and Jonathan and Harry's laughter floated in. Then Harry walked around the corner and saw Sirius. He called out his name in a cry of excitement and Sirius embraced him. Sirius laughed with glee. When they separated, Harry greeted Remus with a warm smile. But his eyes turned cold and his smile faded when he saw me though, and it stung like a jab to the heart. Remus noticed and looked my way; I went back to cooking.
"How long have you been here?" Harry asked, quickly turning his attention back to Sirius.
"Just a few days," Sirius replied. "I would have sent you an owl, but your Aunt doesn't have one," he added with intent.
Harry bit back with, "My Aunt is across the street."
I dropped the plate I was holding rather roughly onto the others, making a great clatter. I knew everyone turned to look at me, even though I currently had my back to them.
"Mum…"
"Dinner is ready," I choked out.
I proceeded to line up the food on the counter as they made their way over; my dining table was too small for the five of us and the food. I stepped aside allowing them to go first. Harry brushed by me without a glance in my direction, but Remus came up to me and placed a hand on the small of my back. He quickly removed it however.
"Kate?"
"I'm fine," I whispered. "He's here at least, right?" I looked up at Remus and quickly caught the tear before it could fall.
We sat down to dinner. Harry and Sirius jumped right into a conversation that Jonathan and Remus could easily participate in. I was kept mostly out of it, despite Sirius' attempts to draw me in. When they started talking about the map, though, I just couldn't seem to help it.
"Wait," Jonathan said as he turned towards Sirius. "You helped create The Marauder's Map?"
"Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," I muttered, nodding my head towards Remus and Sirius as I said their names.
"You know about the Marauders Map too?"
"The better question, Jonathan, is how do you know about it?"
Jonathan grinned. "I found Fred and George using it one afternoon. Now it's your turn, Mum."
Sirius laughed. "Of course she knew about it. Who do you think drew the template for the castle?"
"Well it wasn't me!" I protested.
"No sense in playing innocent."
"I'm not…"
Suddenly Remus started coughing, which sounded suspiciously like he was choking on laughter. I turned my head to look at him. I could see easily the failed attempt at a suppressed smile.
"What did you do?" I asked.
"What makes you think I did anything?" He tried to ask innocently.
"Because I'm not daft and I know that look."
He laughed. "Well…do you remember that sketch of the castle you gave me back in fourth year?"
"Vaguely."
"Well it may have…and by 'may have' I mean it did…fall out of my Defense book and James found it."
"So you told him I drew if for the map! Unbelievable! And that's how you got a sample of my handwriting. I told you all that I wanted no part in the making of it."
"I know, which is why I told James not to mention it to you because you would only deny it."
"Merlin! You were as bad as the lot of them."
"Wait! So if you didn't sketch out the castle for the map, then why did you give it to Remus?" Sirius asked.
"Because I… I… Because I couldn't very well say, 'Hey, I think you're cute. Would you care to snog behind the greenhouse shed?'"
Jonathan spat out his drink with an exclamation. "MUM!"
Sirius laughed obnoxiously while Remus' face turned red. Harry just sat there taking it all in, the hint of a smile on his face.
"Maybe you should have," Sirius suggested. "It would have put you both out of your misery a lot sooner."
"Well if James hadn't been such a prick about it."
Harry's smile vanished. "My dad wasn't…"
"Wasn't what, Harry? A prick?" I cut across him. "When it comes to me dating, I hate to say it but he was. He had these…these rules…"
"They were mutual agreements," Sirius protested.
"No, those came after Remus and I started dating. The rules almost prevented us from getting together in the first place."
"What kind of rules?" Jonathan asked a little warily.
"Well, there was the one that said I wasn't allowed to date any of his friends for one."
"Or the one that said we couldn't date you," Remus added.
"Or the…wait what?" I turned to Remus. "He had a rule against you dating me?"
"Not 'me' specifically, and it wasn't explicitly said until sixth year, but it was heavily implied during first."
"Huh… And all this time I thought it was some twisted sense of loyalty about not falling for your best mate's sister. That or an even more warped sense that you were somehow undeserving of love."
"More likely it was a combination of all of the above," Sirius said. Remus didn't say anything, but I smiled knowing it was true.
"So my dad had a rule about you not dating his friends? I don't think that makes him a prick," Harry said. My smile faded.
"No, that alone doesn't. But in addition to that, if any other bloke so much as asked me a question about the homework assignment his physical appearance would be threatened by one of the guys. Thereby making it virtually impossible for me to get a date to Hogsmeade. Not many blokes are willing to risk neon pink hair, smelling like a dungbomb for a week, or oinking like a pig every hour for a girl."
Sirius laughed. "I forgot about the oinking. That was good one, Moony."
Remus flushed pink and tried to hide his pleased smile. Jonathan and I both turned our heads to look at him.
"You made a bloke oink like a pig? Dad, you have to teach me that one."
"He'll do no such thing," I insisted. I turned back to Remus. "It was you? You did that to Ben?"
"I thought his name was Dave," Sirius said.
"It was Ben," Remus clarified. "And yes, I did it, but with good reason. I heard him talking that morning as we left the Great Hall. He had some rather…vulgar descriptions for what he'd like to do to you. I couldn't very well let him get away with such thoughts."
"So you defended Mum's honor. Hmm… I bet your Mum wouldn't have tried to take away the Final Quidditch match," Jonathan mused.
"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Remus replied. I remained silent and in thought.
"Blimey, Kate, did you really not know it was him?" Sirius asked. "Why did you think he served detention for then?"
"It was sixth year; I stopped asking why any of you were in detention. I figured he just drew the short lot that week."
"The short lot?" Harry asked; Sirius smirked.
"How do you know about that?"
I eyed him. "It wasn't that hard to figure out. One of you would distract Filch with a minor offense, while the rest carried out the more serious crime since you all couldn't fit under the cloak anymore."
"Brilliant! I'll have to pass that on to Fred and George," Jonathan said.
"No! Now stop listening to their past shenanigans before you start scheming."
"Too late."
"You know about my Dad's cloak too?" Harry asked.
I sighed. "Yes. Who do you think returned it to you first year when you left it on the Astronomy Tower after trying to get rid of Hagrid's dragon?"
"You know about…"
"I've made it a point to know about anything that goes on in that school if it involves you or Jonathan."
"But how do you know about it? No one else was there."
"I was. You and Hermione were so excited to be out past curfew that you didn't notice the leopard hiding in the shadows on the lower deck."
I pushed back tears as I continued. "I've always been there, Harry, silent and unseen, but always there. Always watching over you. Always trying to give you the best that I could. I wish that I could have done more. I wish I could have taken you and Jonathan far from the clutches of Petunia and Vernon, and raised you…not as my own. I wouldn't take that from James and Lily, but I would have raised you all the same."
"Then why didn't you?" Harry asked angrily. "I understand why they didn't. Remus had no legal claim, Sirius was in Azkaban, but you… you were across the street the whole time. So what's your excuse?"
"Because I…I couldn't."
"You couldn't? Well thank you for clearing that up."
"Blast it, Harry!" I slammed my palm down on the table. "I wanted to; I tried to. I fought for you until my voice was hoarse, but it was like trying to reason with a mad man. He said I couldn't. I tried to tell him you'd be safer, that you'd be better off in the arms of someone who would love you, someone who could protect you. But still he remained adamant that you remain with Petunia. I told him he didn't understand how cruel they could be to people like us, but still he said no."
"He?"
I took a moment to wipe the tears from my eyes. I hadn't meant to incriminate anyone like that, but it was too late now.
"Dumbledore," I said softly. "Dumbledore placed you with the Dursleys. Dumbledore refused my guardianship of you."
"But why?"
"He said it was something to do with the way Lily gave her life you yours that night. He said that as long as you were accepted by her blood, then you'd be protected. He said the bond was sealed the moment Petunia took you inside. I was…I was James' sister, not Lily's, and on top of that I was adopted. I share no blood relations with the Potters.
"Dumbledore said I was welcome, and even encouraged to stay in your life as you Aunt, but he didn't understand how they were. Petunia never would have allowed Kate Potter to be anywhere near her and her family. If she knew I was just across the street, she would have taken you far from my reach or dropped you at some nameless orphanage where I would never find you. And that wasn't an option, Harry. I had to be in your life even if only as the loony neighbor.
"I said I kept the illusion for numerous reasons; you were one of those reasons, Harry."
There was a deafening silence that followed, in which Harry simply stared at me with a blank expression.
"You didn't really let me get to that part of the explanation before you stormed out of my office. Which—" I cut across his protest, "—I understand. It's the Potter Temper Curse; I have it too."
Sirius, Remus, and Jonathan all scoffed at my last words.
"That's understating it a bit, Mum, don't you think?" Jonathan asked.
"A bit?" Sirius questioned. "She once went two whole weeks without speaking a word to me. She didn't even look my way. She ignored me completely! Didn't even use one of the others as a go-between. It's like I didn't exist."
"Well… you probably deserved it," Jonathan said.
Sirius paused before answering. "I most definitely deserved it, but that's beside the point Little Man. You and Harry here have both been giving your mum the cold shoulder since she told you about her past. A past, I might add, that she hid for both your and her protection. Should she have told you sooner? I can't say, maybe, so long as it didn't jeopardize your safety. But none of us can begin to comprehend the struggle she had to handle, alone, the last twelve years. Remus and I rather mucked things up, and Kate had to pick up the pieces the only way she knew how. It would do you well to remember that."
I smiled faintly at Sirius' support. I found it endearing how he was quickly falling into that protective mode he and James always had for me. I reached over and gently squeezed his hand to show my thanks.
"Alright," Harry said after a pause. "Then do something the Dursleys never would. Tell me about my parents. I want to know everything. What they were like, how they met…all of it."
My smile grew a little wider. "Yeah…alright. I'd be happy to. I think I may have some things up in the loft to help with that. We can go through it together."
"You have some of their things here?" Harry asked, but his tone wasn't accusatory as it had been.
"Not much of it, mind you; I couldn't get a hold of most of it actually, but Dumbledore was able to give me a few boxes of things that weren't destroyed. Would…would you like to see them? Your parents, I mean. Would you like to see their grave site?"
"I…" He swallowed visibly. "Yes. When can we go?"
I was taken aback by his sudden enthusiasm. "I…well, it'll have to wait a few days…" I could see his disappointment creeping in so I hurried to finish.
"The full moon is in two days. We'll have to let that pass so Remus can join us."
"You don't…" Remus began protesting but Harry and I both cast him a look that silenced him instantly.
"And I'll need that time," I continued "to figure out what to do with him." I pointed to Sirius.
"What do you mean 'what to do with him?'" Sirius grumbled.
"I've already told you, Sirius, you are not leaving this house as you are; it's too risky, and I won't have them take you way from me again. I'll have to at least go out and get you some clothes."
"Speaking of clothes," Jonathan said. "Is that my shirt he's wearing?"
"Is it?" Sirius asked as he looked down at his shirt. "Who is Bo-no?"
"It's Bono," Jonathan corrected but Sirius still looked confused. "You know, from U2."
"Me too what?"
"U2," I said. "It's a Muggle band."
"Are they any good?"
"They're decent enough; they're no Queen, but…"
"Who is," Remus asked. Queen had been a favorite of ours.
"'Decent enough,'" Jonathan muttered and shook his head. "Why did you have to give him one of my shirts, Mum?"
"Well I couldn't give him one of mine," I replied.
"It wouldn't have been the first time," Remus said.
I groaned and threw my hands over my eyes. "We do not need a repeat of second year."
Sirius laughed. "They were surprisingly comfortable."
"Stop! Just stop!" I said with another groan.
"What happened in second year?" Harry asked.
"Nothing; we are not getting into it at the dinner table."
But Sirius and Remus didn't listen, and they immediately began divulging Harry and Jonathan with the story.
