HEY! Sorry for the super long update, pepole. You lose track of time when you play Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games, Super Mario Galaxy, and NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams (most of you probably wouldn't of had heard of that last one). Now without further ado...
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Just had to get that outta the way. Oh, right...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
That's all! No, wait a minute...
THE 'randoms' ARE COMING BACK!
I just couldn't make last chapter funny without the randoms. Alright, start reading!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Smash Bros., Metal Gear Solid, Snake, or any of the people that get killed in this chapter.
Be warned! There will be randomness! Excluding the first part, of course.
Solid Snake was shooting random people in a random enemy base on a random enemy island when all of a sudden, a random door appeared! And it fell on one of Snake's enemies. The dude let out a ear-shattering and girly (in a manly kind of way) screech and died on the spot. The door's top literaly bent down, facing the dude.
"Sorry," was heard from the door. It jumped up off the dude, even though the guy was dead. The door flew up and then fell down. ...Right on top of another dude. Same routine, ear-piercing and girly in a manly way scream, instant death, and the door jumping off this guy on to another. This kept on for some time, until every single enemy that was surrounding Snake was gone. Speaking of Snake, he just watched the whole thing. Never made a move, didn't even blink. And by the time the door stopped jumping on top of and crushing people, his left eyebrow couldn't stop twitching.
Finally, every single person (except for Snake, of course) was dead. Yep. That's right. Dead. And it's amazing that these things can go into italics whenever I want them too. See? Italics. Bold. Underlined. Now things are getting crazy.
Eentually, the door finally noticed Snake. "Oh. My apologies, sir." The door telepathically said, "And just who might you be?"
"S-Snake..." He managed to put out. The door did a little gasp (or whatever doors do for a 'gasp') and immidiently stood straight up. Snake just stared at the door. Suddenly, the door opened up, and whatever was behind the door wasn't in the door. Snake did a double take, and decided to go in. But first, he looked around for more enemies. Happy that there wasn't none around, he went in.
Inside the 'magic' door, there was nothing but a chair engulfed in a spotlight. Snake just happened to realize that his feet were very sore because of his constant walking (and killing), so he decided to take a breather and sit down.
"Know your stars..." A mysterious and eerie voice said in a sing-song voice, "Know your stars..." Strangly, it was the exact same voice as the door (and there we go with the italics again. I just love doin' that).
Snake raised an eyebrow and looked suspiciously around the room.
"Solid Snake of Wearevateheckyerfrum..."
"I'm not from there." Snake said bluntly.
"Yeah, well, you are now until the end of your checkup." The voice shot back.
"I had my checkup this morning." Snake said calmly.
"...Drat."
"So whaddaya want from me?" Snake folded his arms.
"It's not what I want. It's what I'm paid to do."
"Hmm?"
"Ya."
"Repeat what you said."
"Ya."
"Before that."
"Drat."
"After that."
"It's not what I want."
"Next sentence."
"It's what I'm paid to do."
"Now put it all together."
"...DratIt'snotwhatIwantIt'swhatI'mpaidtodoYa."
"With spaces and periods and the like."
"...Drat. It's not what I want. It's what I'm paid to do. Ya."
"What're you getting paid to do?"
"Insult every Super Smash Brothers characters, assist trophy, and boss/atagonist."
"And you say you keep secrets well."
"...I never said that..."
"Oh yeah you di- Never mind."
"Okay, time to get started!"
"I strongly agree with you. You're a fat, invisible pig."
"Holy crap, you're good."
"What can I say? I've lived longer than you."
"I'll show you longer!!"
The voice pressed a button on his keyboard and the door magically closed. Suddenly, a trap door appeared 3 inches away from Snake, and a bear on a unicycle popped up!
"...How will this show me longer?"
"I dunno. I just always wanted to say that. Plus, I just always wanted to push that button."
"Why couldn't you push it before?"
"'Cause my boss doesn't pay me enough!"
"And whose your boss?"
"Stop it! Stop it with the questions!!!" The voice literally cried. No, really. Tears started flooding the studio.
"Stop crying before I drown." Snake said.
"Okay." The voice instantly stopped crying, and the would-be flood of tears got drained out by a drain, "Just let me insult you one time."
"Why?"
"The fanficians out there pay to see a good crack. Cut me some slack."
"That rhymed."
"Why thank you. Now, Solid Snake... He's acutally Stewie Griffin in disgues."
"BLAST!"
Snake's stomach literally opened up and out popped the foot-ball-head baby.
"You may have won this round, you retchet voice! But I'll be back again next chapter!" Stewie then ran out of the door when the real Solid Snake came in.
"I don't remember this room being here." Snake said as he sat down. The voice sighed.
"I don't get paid enough for this..."
The voice pressed another button on his keyboard, and that same bear on a unicycle (who was still riding around the studio) jumped up and landed on Snake.
Wow, it's been, what, about a month and a half? Sorry, but y'know how busy my life is...
Sorry if this chapter wasn't what you people expected. I was just getting a lot of request for Snake, so I decided to do him.
See you all next time!
Ryxlet
