A/N: Firstly; I've never gotten so many reviews on a chapter like I did on the previous one, so THANK YOU EVERYBODY. I'm blown away by your support. Second, this is too short for my liking, but it felt like a good place to cut it off. Hopefully, the next chapter will be both long and not take to long to get up. Read and review, please :)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
The Air I Breathe
Chapter 29
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April
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Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when you feel like every second is as long as a year, time passes. Even for me.
"Bella, honey?" I looked up from my algebra homework at Esme, who was standing in the doorway.
"Yeah?"
"Why don't you go out with Angela or Jessica tonight? You shouldn't spend Friday night doing homework."
"Jessica has a date with Mike, and Angela is babysitting her brothers." I turned back to my notebook, pressing in the numbers on my calculator before writing them down.
Esme sat down next to me and lightly put her hand on my arm. "I'm worried about you sweetie."
"Why?" I hadn't done anything in the past two months to warrant her worry. I went home every day after school and did my homework, my chores, watched TV and then went to sleep. It was a good routine; I was averaging on a 3.9 GPA and I always did more than Esme asked of me at home.
"Because you never see your friends anymore, you just spend time here or at school. When was the last time you talked to Alice?"
I looked down at my homework again, because I knew that she was right. I hadn't talked to Alice in over two weeks, and the last time I went anywhere after school was when I had to pick up new notebooks in Port Angeles, to which I went alone. "I was just about to call her," I lied through my teeth, feeling guilty for doing so, but I couldn't help it. Esme didn't deserve this from me.
Esme got a peculiar look on her face that I couldn't figure out what it was, and then she said what I'd hoped she wouldn't say. "Have you talked to Edward?"
The mention of his name caused a fresh wave of pain in my heart, but I masked it well. I hadn't talked to him since February, and I didn't see him in school as much. It seemed as he stayed in his office when he didn't have class. I stood up from the table, gathering my books as I spoke. "No I haven't, and I don't plan to. We broke up, it's natural."
"Bella-"
"I'm gonna go to bed, I'm tired." I leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."
She smiled sadly at me. "Goodnight darling."
"Goodnight."
I did my night routine almost in a trance, not really paying any attention to anything. I hoped, as usual, when I crawled into bed and turned out the lights, that tonight I wouldn't be haunted by dreams of cold eyes and harsh words.
To please Esme I called Angela the next day and asked if she wanted to hang out with me. She agreed, and if was right after lunch when I got into my car and drove towards Angela's house. It was a rare sunny day, and I rolled down the windows all the way, basking in the rare sunshine. When I arrived Angela had made lemonade, and we sat outside on her back porch. She was home alone; her parents had taken her brothers to Port Angeles to buy new shoes.
"How are you doing? Really, I mean." She asked, looking very worried.
"I'm great, why do you ask?"
Angela gave me a look that said that she didn't believe my bullshit for a second. "I know you're not great; you've practically been a zombie for months." She paused, and I could see that she was complementing her next words. "Does it have anything to do with Edward?"
I choked on the lemonade I was drinking and started coughing. It took a few minutes for me to get my breathing under control, and while I did I started to panic. How did she know about Edward? "What do you mean?"
Angela sighed and turned to face me. "I've suspected there was something between you two for a while. It made sense; the way you looked whenever Jessica and Lauren would talk about him, how the both of you seemed to have good and bad days exactly the same days. Then after Valentine's Day, it changed. You both became so withdrawn; looking like you hadn't slept in weeks and never smiling."
I was speechless. I had no idea Angela was so observant, and I'd failed to remember that she had him as a teacher in one of her music classes. To my horror I felt tears start to form in my eyes. Angela's face softened and she grasped my hand in hers. I knew she wouldn't push me to tell her, but wait until I was ready.
"I love him." After admitting that; I told her everything, from meeting him in Seattle to that fateful night almost three months ago. To her credit, Angela didn't say anything while I spoke, she only listened. Only when I was finished did she speak.
"You haven't talked to him since?" I shook my head. "I think you should." I raised my eyebrows. Why would I subject to something like that? He'd made it pretty clear how he felt about me when I saw him last. "He's been a mess Bella, I've noticed."
That didn't sound good. He couldn't still love⦠No! I had to believe that he didn't love me; otherwise these past three months would have been for nothing. "Can we talk about something else, please?"
Angela nodded. "Yeah, off course. So, how about this crazy weather we've been having?"
I chuckled. God, how I loved this girl.
On Monday I tried to be more like my old self, for Angela's sake. I spoke and laughed more than I had in weeks; I put on a little make up and I wore a blue sweater I hadn't worn in months for the simple reason that blue was Edward's favourite colour on me.
Even when I spotted the back of Edward's head in the crowded hallway I didn't crumble. I was proud of myself.
"Hey Bella?" Mike asked me at lunch, and I caught Jessica giving me a dirty look. Great, what was her problem now? "I was wondering, do you have a date for the prom yet?"
Fuck. I'd totally forgotten about the prom; which was in only two weeks. I glanced at Angela for a rescue, but she was busy talking to Ben. "I'm actually not going at all. Alice is coming down from Seattle that weekend, and I'm spending it with her." It was 100% true, but I knew I needed to come up with something more tangible. Mike was nothing if not persistent.
Mike's face fell. "Can't she come another weekend?"
I shook my head. "She's already taking that weekend off from work. You should ask Jessica instead, I'm sure she'd love to go with you." I started to gather my tray and stand up. "I have to return a book to the library before class, I'll see you later."
I half-ran from the cafeteria as to not get wet from the rain that had been falling the entire day. Once inside I got the book from my locker and walked towards the library. As I rounded the corner I almost ran in to someone, and I looked up to apologize, but my breath caught in my throat.
Edward.
He froze, just as shocked to see me as I him. He looked terrible; pale as a ghost and with dark circles underneath his eyes.
"Bella."
It was the first time I'd heard his voice in three months, and I hated how I made me feel. "Edward."
Silence erupted, and I shifted uncomfortably on my feet.
"How-"
"I'm-"
We spoke at the same time, and he gave a small chuckle. "You go first."
"I'm actually in a hurry,"
"Oh," his face fell. "I won't keep you then."
Though I knew he didn't mean it like that, my heart clenched at his words. "Goodbye Edward." Even to my ears it sounded like a final farewell. I walked past him quickly, and didn't look back once. Returning the book to the library, I walked along the shelves to the most secluded corner I could find.
It was there that I broke down and cried.
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