Chapter Twenty-Nine

Acknowledgments: Runadaemon for the beta-reading.

Dedications: TohkoXKetsueki, cheer up! Alliriyan, where'd you go?

Disclaimers apply.

And welcome to the OOC Express.


"You what?"

Kyoko stood in front of Sawara-san's desk with a half-convincing resigned look on her face.

It was Monday morning, bright and early. Yesterday, Kyoko spent the day at the Kismet shoot, making up for her lost days with the flashback scenes with Chiaki's parents. She was on her way home when she was called to the President's home.

Like a diligent worker, she came to the office straight from the Daruma-ya with her luggage in tow for a Box "R" location shoot at Ginza after to give her answer.

"This is big news, Mogami-kun," President Takarada said as he looked at her strangely, his hip perched on Sawara-san's desk. "Don't you want to have this publicized?"

She massaged her nape. "It is big news. And great too," she answered. "I just think that there's already too much news about me already. That maybe… the public would already start getting sick of me."

Sawara-san sighed. "Mogami-kun," he said. "This news is just as big as Ren's American debut for that movie. Not like the gossip that's been going on about you over the last few weeks. Not that I don't think you and Fuwa-san haven't done enough with all your appearances together and all, but this is a great way to deflect those rumors that Boost will be publishing in a few days. Don't you want-?"

"No!" Kyoko interrupted. Sawara-san and the President froze. Then she regained her composure and just continued. "Considering that compared to Ren, this is minor news-"

"Minor?" Sawara-san exclaimed. And the President countered, "But that's only because-"

"I mean," she added logically. "Since Kismet is going to end shooting soon and is scheduled to premiere in two month's time, advertising for it is really stepping up on the perception that he and I match each other. I know it sounds presumptuous, but if he and I are supposed to be on equal billing for Kismet and news like this broke out now… Won't it sound like… I shouldn't be getting equal billing as him?"

The President and Sawara-san exchanged brief glances.

"She's right," the President declared. He smiled as he stood up and came up to her. "You have really good business sense, Mogami-kun." Then he walked up to her and enthusiastically patted her shoulder. "Just what you would expect from Japan's Number Ten Top Actress!"

"Eh?" Kyoko was confused.

"You haven't seen the latest rankings, have you?" Sawara-san drolly asked as he went through a pile of entertainment magazines and newspapers that littered his desk. He lifted and flipped through one and showed her.

It wasn't highlighted like the top three and the picture was small, but it was there. Clear and unmistakable: Number 10 - Kyoko.

"Well..." President Takarada smiled down at her. "You got here because of unwanted reasons. Let's see if you can use your talent to stay there and even go higher."

A warm feeling started to sweep through her. She was... number ten! And the President's challenge to rise higher made her even more determined.

"Now when news like this comes out when it does," the President's eyes started twinkling. "It will give your image more 'Umpf!' The flashy debut I had in mind for you just became flashier!"

Flashy??? Kyoko stared dead ahead at the President as he fussed about how he can make Moko-san's movie debut just as flashy. She suddenly had a vision of a circus greeting her everywhere she goes. President... she begged in her head. Can't he just give her a simple debut without the pomp and circumstance? What does 'umpf!' mean???


In another corner of LME Productions, Yukihito and Ren were facing a formidable enemy. Possibly the only major obstacle left with Ren's progress: Kotonami Kanae-san.

"What?" Ren asked drolly as Kotonami-san continued to start at Ren suspiciously.

"Nothing," she answered. "I'm just trying to figure out if you're still serious about taking on this movie and won't back out of it last minute. You're going to America, aren't you?"

Ren chuckled. "That won't be until March. This one will start shooting on December. And don't worry about the promotion. I'll manage it. It's not like I can't go back and forth. It's just one movie, Kotonami-san."

"Are you kidding me?" she barked. "With the kind of actor that you are, they'll probably chain you to the wall of some studio lot so you won't be able to escape!"

Somehow… Yukihito thought. He wasn't quite sure if Kotonami-san was praising or insulting Ren.

"OK!" Matsushima-san cheerfully announced as he returned to his desk where the three of them stood waiting. "Sorry I took so long. I wasn't sure where the intern left them yesterday." He slid two bound scripts in from of them. "Here you go! The completed script for the new Ogata movie. It's still a working title, but we'll get to find out in a couple of week's I guess."

Ren picked up the script and opened it to the first page. Yukihito watched in dismay as Kotonami-san leafed though the pages as though she was using it to fan herself. Not good, he estimated. Ren was very serious about these kinds of things. And he heard that Kotonami-san was too. When encountering a new script, Ren would reflectively read through it, taking in as much as he can in one reading. Kotonami san was acting as though she didn't care about it at all.

How on earth are these two going to get along with each other?

Several minutes later, Kotonami-san took a deep breath and closed the script. Then she turned to Ren and gave him a sweet smile. "Tsuruga-san," she said. "I'm really looking forward to working with you."

"Eh?"

"Ah," Matsushima-san brightened up. "You like the script, Kotonami-kun?"

"It's very well-written," Kotonami-san smiled happily, clutching the script close to her chest. "The way the plot twists is incredible. I can't wait to see how it will be shot."

She already went through it?! Yukihito wondered in awe. He turned to Ren and saw that he also had the same bewildered look on his face.

"Well, that's good," Matsushima-san turned to the two of them. "It seems that the two of you are unfamiliar with one of Kotonami-kun's more impressive talents. She's actually an exceptional speed reader and believe it or not, she has already memorized the script." Yukihito turned to her as she haughtily pulled her hair over her shoulder. Then he turned pleadingly to Ren. "Now, would the two of you please make up now? That rumor between the two of you didn't even last two days. Since the two of you aren't working together nor have you appeared anywhere together, it would have obviously died a natural, swift death."

"Oh," Ren looked surprised. He turned to Kotonami-san and gave her a genuine smile. "I'm looking forward to working with you too, Kotonami-san."

"Same to you," Kotonami-san smiled back.

"This is also the tentative schedule for the script-reading, press conference, and other publicity," Matsushima-san slid two pieces of paper across the table. "Shooting schedule, as always, will follow. Kotonami-kun, just hand this in to your manager once he or she joins you."

"OK," Kotonami-san folded the piece of paper and stuck it in her copy of the script.

"We have to get going," Yukihito straightened up and announced. "You still have to get to that magazine interview on the other side of town."

"I should get going too," Kotonami-san said. "I still have to finish something before I head for my shoot."

Yukihito watched as Ren and Kotonami-san walked together making small talk about the movie. It was as if the seemingly bad blood between the two was only a figment of his imagination. Or maybe the dinner over at Kyoko-chan's place did them a world of good in terms of their relationship. Either way, it was a good thing since Ren always maintained good relations with his co-stars.

They stopped and Yukihito looked over their shoulders and spotted Kyoko-chan standing in the hallway, staring at something in the ceiling with her workbag on her shoulder and a duffel bag by her feet. Well, she was prone to such spells.

"Kyoko-chan?" Yukihito called out. But she didn't move an inch, like she didn't even hear them.

Then with a frown, Kotonami-san walked up to her, raised her arm and hit her squarely in the back. Yukihito and Ren were clearly startled since the force was strong enough to almost knock Kyoko-chan off her feet.

With a half-growl, Kyoko-chan turned to the offender and Kotonami-san just stood there with her arms over her chest, saying, "A girl who's now at number ten in the popularity charts shouldn't be standing around looking like a moron where people can see her."

The angry look quickly disappeared from Kyoko-chan's face as she nearly leapt off her feet as she cried out, "Moko-san!" She caught Kotonami's arm and smiled happily.

"Hey, long time no see," Kotonami-san greeted back with her usual nonchalance. "Amazing that you still remember your best friend, considering that you're been running around pretending to be somebody else's."

Kyoko-chan stopped short, turned to her and tears started pouring out of her eyes, "Mouuuu-ghouu-zaaaan…"

Kotonami-san let out a helpless yelp and started digging through her bag, muttering something about how troublesome Kyoko-chan was and held out a tissue for her. "Here!" she nearly shouted. "Wipe that pathetic look look off your face now. Japan's number ten actress shouldn't be walking around looking like a leaky faucet."

Kyoko-chan hiccuped, then straightened up at the sight of him and Ren. She was looking at them like a deer caught in headlights. The terrible blush on her face was not lost on Yukihito before she hid it by bowing low. "Good morning, Ren, Yashiro-san."

There was different aura around Ren as he returned her greeting with a nod. "Good morning. I'll see you later at the shoot, right?"

Kyoko-chan's face was back to normal when she stood up straight and smiled. "Yes."

"You heading out now?" Kotonami-san asked.

"Not yet," Kyoko-chan answered. "I promised to wait for Amamiya-san so we can go to the location shoot together. I'll be another hour or so. I'll probably just head to the Love Me Section to look for something to do."

"OK," Kotonami-san shrugged. "I'm headed there. I need to complete some paperwork before I head out."

"We'll walk you," Ren presented himself, surprising Yukihito since they were supposed to be leaving for the magazine shoot. It wasn't for another two hours, but Ren always liked to be early if not on time. Well, if they were just walking them to the Love Me Section office… it wasn't like they were staying. And he'll get to spend time with Kyoko-chan...

"Let me help you with that, Kyoko," Ren grabbed the shoulder strap of the duffel bag the same time Kyoko-chan bent down to reach for it.

Yukihito's eyes widened as Kyoko-chan grabbed the bag and held it to her chest, stood up and looked at Ren with suspicion. "No," she firmly said.

"Eh?" Ren looked unsure of what was happening.

"The last time you 'helped' me carry luggage," Kyoko-chan stared at him, "I go stamped with a –10 stamp by Kamio-san. On the cheek too!"

"K-kyoko," Ren precariously said. "That was a long time ago. Besides, I can't let a girl walk around with heavy luggage when I'm not carrying anything."

"You said something like that back then too," Kyoko-chan accusingly pointed out. "That was my very first Love Me Section assignment too! If I let you help me carry my own luggage, by the time we get to the Love Me office, you'll be itching to stamp out a –10 for me for not learning my lesson…"

Yukihito could only look on as the two continued a small argument about who will carry the bag. Then out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kotonami-san let out a smirk and muttered, "This is what you get for being so cheap with scoring."

"Ah!" President Takarada surprised the four of them as he walked the hallway with a wide smile on his face. "So early in the morning and the Kismet lovebirds are having an argument," he announced. "How cute."

Kyoko-chan let out a strangled cry and dropped the bag, crying out, "It's not like that, President!" Ren swooped down and took it in one fluid motion, leaving Kyoko gawking after him, demanding her duffel bag back.


Kanae couldn't believe what Kyoko just told her. All she could so was give her a wide-eyed stare and comment, "You're what…?"

"Ssh!" Kyoko wildly waved her arm in urgency to quiet her. "Keep it down," she blushed. "Someone might hear!"

"What do you mean? I haven't said anything!" Besides, they were in the Love Me Section office, a place where the few and the brave never dared to visit without routing a request from any of the section heads. However, to placate Kyoko, she lowered her voice. "So… this thing you're talking about… Tsuruga-san doesn't have anything to do with it, does he?"

There was a pause. For a moment, Kyoko averted her gaze. And Kanae's eyes widened, catching her in the lie.

"Kyoko…" she started in an ominous voice.

"Of course, it's nothing like that," she said in a small, meek voice while her face flustered. "I mean, didn't you tell me that even if I shout out your personal information, you won't talk to me if something like that happens?"

Was that what she was worried about? Kanae gritted her teeth. "So," she haughtily announced. "You'd rather lie than 'fess up?"

"Eh?"

"I mean," she crossed her arms, really getting pissed off. "Who am I anyway? I'm only your best friend!"

"I didn't mean it that way, Moko-san!" Kyoko worriedly fussed. "It's just that… well…"

Kanae turned to her when she didn't finish her statement and saw a miserable face. Her pestering was making it difficult for her. Kanae sighed. "I don't hate you because you think that you feel like that for Tsuruga-san," she said. "Because I worked with so many idiots who can't see right through that superstar quality of his, they turn into stupid, brainless airheads. But you're not like that, aren't you? You know that he's serious, bossy, dictatorial, and would take off 10 points for simple errors you make…" She was really starting to get pissed off with him again.

"Huh?"

"Never mind," she turned to her. "I told you before, didn't I? I only want you to be happy. If me being mad for that is your problem, you shouldn't really think about it."

"Moko-san…" Kyoko said in a deep voice that sounded like it came from the deeper region of hell. Something dark was surrounding her. "It really doesn't make me happy! I told you before, right? He's in love with someone else-"

"Steal him away," Kanae said in a deadly, steely voice. She didn't care how much Tsuruga Ren was in love with that girl. If that little twit was the thing that got in the way of Kyoko's happiness, Kyoko should just steal Tsuruga-san away so she would be happy. Besides, she knew the man was not made of stone. Hasn't he been making small and trivial moves on Kyoko on the side?

Kanae frowned. Now that she was looking at it from that perspective, it seemed like Tsuruga Ren was nothing more than a fickle playboy. Then she shook her head. No matter, she didn't care about that. Kyoko's obsessive nature will straighten him out for sure.

"Yeah," Kyoko gave her a sardonic smile. "I can do that. While I'm at it, why don't I also do something about the melting polar icecaps?"

"Shut up!" Kanae near-shouted, annoyed. This girl…was really annoying. She doesn't even care about crap like love! Wasn't their dream to be great actresses who would be rivals like honorable samurai? Now, she was being forced to think about something like this! And anyway, weren't the two of them just talking about something important like work?

Well, she guessed it couldn't be helped. Kyoko was already ahead of her - she was already number ten in the popularity charts, nominated for a prestigious award and now had this big movie. She wasn't doing so bad on her end, but Kyoko's charmed existence and current status now allowed her to think about frivolous, stupid things like getting jealous over some high school girl Tsuruga Ren was in love… with.

She sneakily glared at Kyoko as she continued to staple together another set of documents from the Archive Department. Was she… really this dense? Or was it just denial?

"Kyoko-" she started to speak, but was interrupted when the door opened and Chiori-san and Maria-chan entered the room.

"Onee-sama!" the little girl's face lit up as she ran towards Kyoko.

Kyoko happily greeted her, but it lacked the same enthusiasm typical of her. And Maria-chan noticed. "What's wrong?" the little girl fussed. As always, an unhappy Kyoko made Takarada Maria worry beyond belief.

"Um…" Kyoko hesitated.

"It's nothing," Kanae interrupted. The three turned to her. "We were just talking about work for her that came up."

"Really?" Maria-can exclaimed happily. "Another one?" Enthusiastically, she smiled widely at Kyoko. "Well? Well? Is it a good one?"

Kyoko smiled sadly. "Yes," she answered. "It's actually a very good one."

Maria-chan let out a squeal then turned to the third Love Me section member. "Chiori-san," she said. "We have another party to plan!"

"Another one?!"

"Another…?" Kyoko's face fell. Probably feeling left out because she's not doing things she would usually do with Maria-chan anymore, Kanae thought. Kyoko was so easy to read – if the topic of conversation didn't center around guys.

"W-why wasn't I asked?" Kyoko fussed.

"Well," Chiori-san answered. "For one thing, you're a guest-of-honor since you're nominated and all. Also, it's not like you have the time to do so anymore." She ran her fingers through the cluster of envelopes she was carrying, picked one and held one out to her. "Here. Your invitation."

After Kyoko took it, Chiori-san held out another one for Kanae. "Here's yours, Kanae-san."

"Eh?"

"One of your TV movies was nominated, right, Moko-san?" Maria-chan said. "Of course, we'll be celebrating that too."

"Uh.. yeah," she nodded as she took the invitation. "Thanks."

"OK…" Chiori-san said as she dumped the undistributed envelopes on the table, then turned to Kyoko. "Ready? We need to be at the Box "R" set in an hour."

"Uh… yeah," Kyoko nodded. Because their conversation was technically unfinished, Kyoko darted a meaningful look at Kanae.

Kanae sighed. "I get off at midnight." Really, this girl was really troublesome. What was she expecting? Both of them to drop their work so they can conjure up some weird speculation about her love life? "You can call me by one."


Kyoko was late.

The Box "R" shoot experienced a technical glitch so she had to stay an extra hour because it was the cast and crew's last day on the location shoot. Director Shingai were already informed about it and just rearranged the shooting sequence until she arrived. She felt bad for causing the delay because of her tight schedule, but at least she was at the studio a little before her promised time. In order to do that, she literally rushed out of the Box "R" set after changing back to her regular clothes. Well, it was clothes she used to get into Natsu's character, but she didn't want to bother to digging through her bag for her other clothes since what she was wearing was just hanging on the wall where she left it. To say the least, because of the intensity of the scene she just had, she was barely out of character.

She hurriedly thanked the driver and jumped out of the car into the studio lot. Zipping through the hallways, she stopped at the sight of Ren. He was leaning against the wall, his profile downturned as he read through a copy of the script. Her heart jumped as she realized that he really was very handsome. Well, she always knew that and often used it to describe him, but it somehow felt different from this point of view.

"Ren!" she called out to greet him. When he raised his head and looked at her, she gave him a bow. "Good evening. I'm sorry I'm late."

He smiled. "Nah. You let everyone know."

"Why aren't you at the shoot?" she asked as she approached him.

"Well, the director said that you just arrived so he called for an early dinner break just a few minutes ago so you can eat and get ready…" He lifted his script and said, "Also, there's a bunch of re-writes to the script. I think the assistant director will give you your copy." He looked at his watch. "Don't worry about being late." He gave her a once-over and chuckled. "However, it looks like you literally jumped right out of the Box "R" set straight to here."

"I did. The schedule got pretty tight," she smiled. "Did you eat already?"

"No, I was waiting for you," he answered. "Maybe you wanted to have dinner together."

"Thank you for waiting for me then. Sorry for the trouble," she said obligingly.

"It was no trouble," he replied.

Suddenly, a loud bang from an unknown source echoed through the hallway and startled both of them. In her heels, she let out an inelegant scream as she lost her balance and would have fallen on her behind if Ren hadn't caught her by the wrist on one hand and her hip with the other.

"You OK?" he asked as he looked down on her face.

The closeness, the appealing scent and the fact that he had his hands on her made her eyes narrow and her lips stretch into a smile. Natsu's soul, who was still being exorcised out, has just fully returned.

Tsuruga Ren was in love with someone who was oblivious to his feelings, Natsu thought. The mere fact that it wasn't her and that someone else was getting what she wanted, made her want to steal him away without Ren or that girl noticing – just as Moko-san said. It seemed to be something fun where the results were all too favorable for her.

After all… the Natsu in her thought as she brushed her fingers through Ren's forearm before finally resting her hand on his arm to keep her balance. …when you love someone, a person will do just about anything to be with that person.

"Yes," she answered simply. "Thank you for catching me and sorry for the trouble."

"It was no problem," he said as he slightly loosened his hold on her.

"Wait!" The hand on his arm involuntarily tightened her grip. The motion surprised him, but that quickly changed when his eyes started to narrow and a familiar glint appeared. That's when she knew that The Emperor had awakened…

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Then he started to lean down to her, and the hand that rested on her hip moved to wrap around her waist. She let out a small giggle since it tickled her a bit.

Just as suddenly, Ren's eyes cleared and Kyoko felt both hands slowly but purposefully moved to her elbows as he gently pushed her back.

"Don't you think," he said in a flat tone, his stance cold, "you ought to be showing yourself to Director Shingai and getting yourself ready?"

Kyoko was surprised and taken aback by Ren's words. After she realized what she just did, she became mortified with herself. "Um…" she muttered. "You're right. I'll be going then." She bowed and refused to meet his eyes when she stood upright. Quickly turning around, she almost broke into a run, saying, "I'll see you later!"

She met Director Shingai as she walked towards the ladies' room. Thank God he mistook the redness of her face for her hurrying onto the set. He told her to relax for the remainder of the break after she got ready. She managed a weak smile before closing the door of the rest room.

She walked towards the sinks and noticed that her whole face was red. After setting her bag on the counter, she started splashing cold water on her face, which felt really hot against the water.

What on earth was she trying to do? She thought, mortified. That was humiliating! That was Natsu, wasn't it? Whatever she was keeping to herself was acted upon by a character who did things to satisfy herself. She practically threw herself onto Ren… No – That was The Emperor! What would have happened if Ren didn't have such control over himself?!

She continued to wash her face until she felt the heat go. She raised her head and frowned at her reflection. Under all that sophisticated make-up Box "R"'s talented make-up artist taught her that highlighted the features she considered as Kyoko's best, she was nothing more than a plain, boring girl Ren always saw as an easy-to-deceive kouhai who brought nothing but trouble and has no sex appeal.

She wiped her face dry and started for her dressing room to change.

She sighed as she put on a cheerful pastel yellow dress. Ren was in love with someone wonderful! So wonderful that he considered turning his back on a promising career in Hollywood and fight off weirdo harlots like her for the sake of that girl. There was no way she could compete with that!

And when the hell did she let him into her heart that was already closed to things like love? she thought as she stared at her reflection.

Then she stopped.

No, it wasn't that she let him in. He was already there. Memories of Corn and Kuon Hizuri… otou-san… Julie-san – who were very dear to her– and the great respect she had for her senpai had always been there. When all of those things came together to center around one person, he took up a big chunk of space in her heart.

She was, she thought as she sat down in front of the mirror, an idiot. When the hell did she let it turn into love? A small glimpse of what someone else would be getting made her selfishly want it for herself.

When she was still in love with Sho… She shook her head and tried not to think about things that will only bring her heartache. This time around, she had no illusions that Ren would come around to reciprocate her feelings. If her heart were broken a second time, she honestly didn't know what would be left of her.


Th-that was close, Ren thought as he leaned a hand against the wall to compose himself before staggering to the cafeteria.

Just now, he briefly contemplated something criminal to a girl who obviously didn't know what she was getting herself into by acting like that towards him in a place where just about anyone can pass by. And there he always thought that guys who can't see through her whole Natsu act were weak-willed. It took every ounce of willpower he had to stop himself.

But he was still a guy… Seeing the girl he was in love with looking so pretty up close and practically throwing herself at him for no apparent reason nearly made him throw logic out the window.

This was annoying, Ren frustratedly thought. From the way she scurried away, Kyoko was obviously spooked and she might start acting formally around him again just because they were forced to be around each other a lot because of the movie. This was terrible. He had to clear the air between them when she joined him for dinner so there won't be any uneasiness between them.

But he never got the opportunity to do that.

Kyoko never showed up at the cafeteria.


"...if you think I will say anything to make that girl's life any less perfect than it pathetically already is, you have wasted your time and just ruined mine."

Without so much as a goodbye, Mogami Saena-san slammed the phone to the only number he could trace her to with such force, it still rang in his ear.

He looked at the clock. It was two hours before his deadline and his article was going to be a disaster.

The reason he approached Fuwa Sho-san two weeks ago was because the only thing he came up with was that they were childhood friends. None of his and Kyoko-san's old classmates would say anything bad about "Sho-chan". And even if they reacted negatively at the mention of Mogami Kyoko-san, they refused to say anything. He immediately attributed it to classic teenage fangirl jealousy because as they claimed on national television, he and Kyoko were very close friends.

And of course, nothing came out of Fuwa Sho-san's family. They threw him out of the ryokan as soon as he started asking questions about the singer. And Kyoko-san's mother...

The woman was foul. The short conversation they had consisted of nothing but how imperfect her daughter was. She made him want to take a shower. That's not what mothers are supposed to be like. No wonder Kyoko-san ran away from home when Fuwa-san offered her the opportunity to do so. It would really make for compelling stuff, but the readers were clamoring for a follow-up on the Tokyo Imperial Herald Love Triangle. His editor insisted that it should be highlighted more than any of the other things he was able to come up with.

But suddenly, Kyoko-san and Fuwa-san have been running around in public like friends-budding-into-couplehood. And his third lazy-ass protagonist, Tsuruga Ren-san, was suddenly out of the picture with nothing about him other than that upcoming movie he'll be working on in America.

Huh? America?

He quickly straightened up and started to write.


Chapter Notes:

- After months of being away because I've been busy having a life, I never forgot that I have this fanfic. Of course, the changes in the manga has derailed the canon facts I used and some fanfic-established facts, I wrote :( Never mind. It's not like it's mine to begin with :D

- Also, continuing the story with the vague, open-to-interpretation way I left off Chapter 28 kinda put me in a precarious place to start over. Those who have read it right, Kyoko's already in love with Ren. Those to didn't read it right, I'm telling you now, Kyoko's in love with Ren.

- As for Saena, my opinion hasn't changed: She isn't as fun to conceptualize as Julie. As far as this fanfic's going since Kyoko's getting everything she wanted - friends, family, career, she won't care for Saena anymore. I'm not a big believer in the adage "Blood is thicker than water." because I believe that water can wash away blood if you soak it long enough. Otherwise, you throw it away. Also, the little information about Saena only said that she only believed Kyoko should be perfect or she would refuse to acknowledge her.