Okay, my ritual for the end of a story is posting the comments at the top.
BritishBombshell007: Awe I didn't wanna make you cry before the finale :((( YAAAASSSS BEST FRIEND YOU GOT THEM RIGHT, but you missed one (I'll admit, this one could've went both ways)
"I just care about you too much to be with you" Sara Lance
Honestly, I'm pretty sure that last one was a quote but I definitely don't remember so we'll call that a draw. For someone who hasn't watched in ages, you did better than I would have! I hope you liked this last chapter xxx
Zammieotp: Well it's my job right? To make you cry for no reason? Haha just kidding I didn't mean to make you cry this chapter. Thanks :) hope you like this last chapter xxx
Guest: I see what you're doing :) your tactic is smart but I've seen it before... absolutely no spoilers on the sequel! Hope you like this last chapter xxx
GallagherGirlsEmbassyRowFan: I'm sorry I made you cry :( the only thing Cammie's ever wanted is to protect those she loves, even if it means sacrificing herself. Hmm, most likely she has to see them again or the sequel would be kinda boring. :) hope you like this last chapter xxx
Guys this is my last chapter and I feel like crying I didn't know how much of an emotional attachment I had to this story :(
Also, thanks to everyone for understanding Cammie's decision to join the Circle. It just didn't make sense for me to let her out of the darkness just yet. It would be too easy to play it off and make her come back to her senses, and not be crazy anymore. She is spiraling and she can't stop until she hits rock bottom, and I don't feel that she's made it there yet. So thanks for coming on this journey with Me and Cammie and hopefully we won't let you down in the sequel ;)
Chapter 29:
It's all my fault. It's always my fault. I used to fix things in the nick of time. This time there was nothing left to fix. Thump. Thump. Thump. With each step my foot hit the ground with a thump, yet as I got closer it faded, and all I could hear was voices.
"She's experienced with torture." They whispered. "She's just Josephine's new pet. She did half the work and got 3 times farther than us."
"I can't trust someone who doesn't trust herself. She can't just walk in here and immediately be accepted, this isn't a charity group." They continue. "She doesn't deserve to die."
"She's already dead." The last voice echoes in my ears. "She's just a kid."
I begin to go faster. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, the voices in my head beginning to join in.
"They were my friends and family and I put them at risk. You don't deserve to see them before they leave." They begin. "The darkness inside you will never come out. My hands leave you dead." They continue. "Do you really think that you can escape this time?" They taunt. Then I heard the one voice that I've dreaded for years.
"We're more alike than I thought." She mocked.
"I am nothing like you!" I yelled, grabbing my head. She just looked so real. Everything about her felt real. Her smell, her confident stance, the crinkle under her eyes, and that maniacal smile.
Catherine just laughed and said, "Can't you see?" And for a second I felt chills run down my spine, almost as if Catherine was there once more, as she whispered, "You are falling down the same path that I was on, and I just hope that present of yours," she pointed at the hand that rest on my stomach. "Doesn't grow up to despise you for what you've done." I looked at her, and I could swear I saw a tear roll down her cheek. But that wasn't real, and neither was she.
"Cameron Ann Morgan. Status: Dead. And she's not miraculously coming back this time." She said ever so quietly in my ear. I felt my self slowly turn around, my mind resorting to my first instinct.
I began to run.
My steps on the ground changed from thumps to taps, each heavily hitting the ground faster than the last.
She twirled her finger around her hair. "You can't outrun yourself." She said in a sing-song tone. "And I, am a part of you now."
I pushed harder. Running. Running faster. Trying to outrun her. Trying to outrun myself. Not worrying about who or what I was leaving behind.
"You remind me of myself. I used to be so full of hope. But then I realized that hope is for the weak-minded."
I kept going until I pushed through to my room, and in instants I was standing on the window-seat, opening the gigantic windows.
And for a moment I was at peace, listening to a chorus of morning chirps, enjoying the warmth of the breeze and every ray of sun that kissed my skin. Feeling light as a feather as I swayed in the ambiance and I could feel the cool stones beneath me through my socks. And I basked in it, refusing to let go of the last shred of light that I have. Refusing to submerge into the darkness. Refusing to give in to the one thing that's been haunting me all this time. Myself.
But I looked down, and I saw him. I looked at him, our eyes meeting for not even a second, and I saw the sparkle in his eyes, that faded as he looked away. It was the last time I would see those eyes. And even though he was fading into the distance, even though now we were so far apart, it felt like he was right by my side, and I heard his voice.
"You were the only sure thing I have left." I felt him whisper. I couldn't be real. All of this wasn't real.
Real or not, I got to hear his voice last time. "I know Zach."
The way he moved, and fidgeted with his fingers, it all seemed like reality. A tear couldn't help but roll down my cheek when I looked at the way his frown deepened as he said, "I can't lose you again, Cammie."
I watched him fade away like a memory as I said, "I'm already gone."
And the only thing that snapped me away from him was the chills that ran up my spine one last time, as Catherine said, "We both loved him so much that we had to let him go." That was the last voice, her last words, while she faded away.
I slid down back to the window seat, sinking into the pillows, and realizing that this time I was completely and utterly on my own. I think that out of everything that's happened, that is what scares me the most.
This was my second time trying to leave this room today, and I failed the first time. I couldn't keep it together long enough to even say goodbye to my family. I will try again, I have to go see her. I have to go fix my damaged subconscious, to prove that I'm still one of the good guys. I kept saying this in my head while I walked down the hall. Part of what's happening to her is my fault. So this was it.
I stood in front of her door. This was seriously something I was about to do. Without thinking I opened the door, but all I could do is stand there like the wind had been knocked out of me, wondering why I was there.
The woman laughed. "You look like my sister when she first came to visit me."
"She didn't pull the trigger, I did."
"If she wasn't the way she is neither of us would've been there with a gun in the first place." She said.
I looked at all the bloody gauze on the floor, and some of it on the table next to where I'm assuming the doctor stitched her up. The room was dark and brooding, the cool stones letting the summer breeze seep through them.
I glimpsed at the scars and stitches from her neck to her arm. But the big gash on her leg caught my eye.
Her gaze met mine as she said, "The doctor says a bullet hit my leg bone, damaged a bunch of special tissues, blah, blah, more doctor stuff. Claims that for now I'm paralyzed from the waist down." She put her hand up halting the question I was about to ask. "Don't worry," she pretended to be happy. "Because the best sister ever told me she'll have me walking sooner than I thought." She rolled her eyes. "Someone please get her the award for best baby sister."
"How?" I asked.
"What do you mean?"
"How can you sit here and joke with the girl who is the reason that you may never walk again?"
I followed the finger that she pointed at a bottle of clear liquid that sat on a table of medications. "I've had a couple of shots of that." She chuckled. "But mostly, it's because I know that you and I are here, against all logic and good will, because Josephine took the one thing that you salvaged, held closer to your heart than anything, and put a gun in between you two. And she did the same to me." She shrugged. "I've learned that if you don't befriend those in your boat, the boat will sink."
"You can't possibly side with me, especially if you found out about the things I've done."
She took a deep breath. "I've killed much more than you. I've tortured people without batting an eyelash. I am a 100 times worse than you, and I am ashamed, but it doesn't stop me from trying to change." She looked like a picture with a smashed frame, and until you removed the glass on top you'll never see the picture underneath.
"What's your goal Sabrina?"
Her eyes got wide. "How did you-"
"Your medications have labels and I can read." I cut her off. "Why are you doing this?"
"You have the potential to defeat my sister."
"Me?" I asked surprised. "Obviously you need glasses because I am so defenseless against her that I've sacrificed my family and the only man that I've actually loved to keep them safe from her."
"Listen, I know you think you can't do this, but trust me when I say that I know you can. Just stay under Josephine's wing, know everything she does. And when I'm fully healed and you're capable," she pointed to my stomach. "Then, I'll train you to learn everything that I know. With practice, you could take her down."
I rolled my eyes. "Does everyone know I'm pregnant?"
"Everyone that matters can tell." She smiled. "Plus, you're literally glowing." We both chuckled before her serious tone reappeared.
"I know that you have a lot to think about, but this is the only way for both of us to be free from Josephine and the Circle."
I fidgeted with my fingers. "I know. And I'll think about it."
"Well for now, I believe you have an initiation ceremony to attend." She pointed to the door as bells began ringing. I picked up my room key and rushed to the door, lingering in the frame.
"Sabrina?"
"Yes?"
"There's not a drop of alcohol in your system, those are opioids, and you know the consequences of mix the two."
"I told you you're a genius." I smiled and rushed to my room."
I stood there in the black bodysuit, as Josephine liked to call it, in front of hundreds of thousands of Circle members. The black bodysuit was a long sleeve leather shirt jacket with leather pants, and they felt very cliché.
I'm Their gazes burned into me, each of them completely untrusting as they watched me walk to the pillar where Josephine stood.
"Raise your left hand and put your right hand onto the sword."
"I, Cameron Ann Morgan, do solemnly swear myself to the Circle, and it's leader, Josephine Cavan VI. I swear to abide by its rules and laws, along with its honors and rituals. To fully accept the consequences of our failures and celebrate our victories with my brothers and sisters. To respect and dedicate my every act to the cause of our predecessor, Ioseph Cavan. I take this oath to fully dedicate myself to the Circle of Cavan." I picked up the knife giving myself a little poke on the finger and letting my blood drip into the bowl.
Josephine looked me in the eyes giving me a gentle nod, encouraging me to go on.
"And from this day forward, I leave my past to linger behind me. I officially cut ties to my family and my previous life to be reborn as Operative 5000."
Josephine dipped her finger into my blood and smeared it on the red wall behind her. "And with this, Operative 5000 will be forever bound to us." A gentle applause began in the crowd as I turned to face them, but it faded as quick as it came.
As everyone dispersed, each person exiting the way that they entered, all of them crawling back into their rooms, I was left to stand in the hallway with one last thought in my head. One more voice saying Sabrina was right.
No one really leaves the Circle, but only the student has hope of defeating the master.
TO BE CONTINUED.
