The next morning, Adam cracked open his eyes.

The hangover hit him harder than the sunshine seeping through the window.

"Ugh, God," Adam moaned. He squinted his eyes shut and put his hands to his head.

The last night was a blur.

After leaving the police station, Adam had hit the nearest bar. He would've gone home, but was sure that Kate was still there and would want to hear about why a cop had dragged him down to the police station to question him about the murder of an ex-girlfriend.

He didn't want to go back Kate and show her what a wreck seeing Lawrence had made him. It would just worry her.

And coming back dead-ass drunk didn't worry her?

Groaning, Adam rolled over and looked at the clock.

It was eight in the morning.

With difficulty, he got up and went into the bathroom. He pulled a bottle of aspirin out the medicine cabinet and swallowed two caplets.

How long has it been since I've this hung over? Almost a year now?

Through the migraine, a memory came rushing back to him.

After getting rescued, there had been one night when Adam had hit the bottle hard. He had just wanted one night of sleep, without the memories or nightmares.

Lawrence had been there with him.

He had only been slightly tipsy by the time Adam had passed out, drunk.

When Adam had woke up the next morning, he'd found that Lawrence had set up a quiet atmosphere: apartment dark, coffee brewing, aspirin and water at the ready.

The fact that Lawrence had actually stayed and taken care of Adam's needs had surprised him more than anything else.

The guy's always been looking out for you.

And I hurt him.

It had never occurred to Adam that Larry had felt the same way he did. That that fear of loss was strong in him, too.

I'm so fucking selfish. I never gave a thought to how he felt.

Running his hands through his hair, Adam looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Of course, this is all my fault.

Everything is my fucking fault.

It was my fault Jigsaw captured us.

My fault Lawrence lost his foot and I have this goddamned scar on my shoulder.

My fault….for falling in love, for giving my heart completely to someone for the first time in my life….and for fucking it up.

Goddammit, Lawrence, why did you have to find help for both of us?

I was nothing, I am nothing, and yet you still helped me, as though I was someone that mattered.

I wish I died in there.

At least then, Lawrence would be back with his family and neither of us would have to deal with any of this.

Adam looked down at the sink and noticed that there were tiny clear droplets despite the fact he hadn't turned on the faucet.

It suddenly occurred to him that in the year since he'd known Lawrence, he had cried more then than he ever had in his life.

Lawrence was the only one who had ever seen Adam at his weakest, most vulnerable point, something that he did not like people to see. Not even his own parents had seen Adam break down.

It wasn't going to happen again.

Trying to regain some composure, some dignity, Adam sniffled, wiped his eyes, and turned around, heading for the kitchen.

Upon entering the living room, the first thing he noticed was that Kate had fallen asleep on the couch.

Goddammit, she did see me dead-ass drunk.

Not wanting to wake her, he tiptoed past her and went into the kitchen.

"Mind making me some breakfast, Adam?"

Adam jumped in surprise. He glanced back and saw Kate staring at him from the couch, her eyes cracked open.

"S-sure," Adam stuttered. "Sorry, I didn't realize you were awake."

"Of course I am," she said irritably. "You try sleeping with at least ten pounds of kid inside you."

Adam gave her a small smile. He watched as she tried to push herself into a sitting position.

"You OK?" he asked.

"I was gonna ask you that same question in about two seconds. How's that hangover?"

Adam gave a nervous laugh. He could get nothing past his sister.

"How bad was I?"

"That's not the issue," Kate groaned. "What the hell happened to you yesterday?"

"The cops just had some questions for me about Vi, just wanted to see if I could help them with their investigation." Adam said. He went into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I remember that part," Kate said. With difficulty, she heaved herself to her feet and followed him. "I guess I just didn't realize that her death was so devastating to you that you'd come back plastered."

"Yeah, well, I knew her, it just brought back bad memories."

There was a long pause. Kate arched an eyebrow. "You saw Lawrence, didn't you?"

Avoiding her eyes, Adam let out another nervous laugh and set himself to hunting down something to eat. "What makes you say that?" He pulled open a cupboard, found a box of cereal and pulled it down. "Want some cereal? I mean, it might be a little expired, don't remember when I went shopping last-"

"Don't change the subject," Kate said. She sat heavily down on a chair.

Biting his lip, Adam took his time pouring cereal into his bowl, and adding milk and sugar.

"Well?" Kate asked after awhile.

"Yeah," Adam said. "Yeah, I saw him,"

"How'd it go?"

Adam rolled his eyes and glared at her. "Is that a trick question?"

"What happened?"

"Nothing," He quickly glanced at her, and saw that she was eyeing him. Adam sighed irritably. "Fuck it, Kate, what do you want me to tell you? That seeing him was number two on my 'Worst Fucking Moments Ever' list?"

"That'd be a start,"

"Well, it's true. No, in fact, it's actually sitting right up there with 'The Bullshit That Made Me Feel This Way In the First Place.'"

"I'm sorry," Kate said. "What exactly did you say to him?"

"Huh?"

"How'd this all start yesterday?"

"What makes you think that I had anything to do with how well yesterday didn't go?" Adam said. "All that happened was we met each other outside the cop station, small talk popped up, and he suddenly asked me why we split up."

"And did you tell him?"

"Yeah!"

"You told him everything? How you guys aren't right for each other? How you make no sense together? About your dreams?"

"How did you know-"

"These walls are paper-thin, Adam," Kate said. "I've heard you at night."

Adam sighed. "What's your point?"

"You mentioned all this? Every word?"

"Yeah, yeah!"

"You're an idiot, Adam,"

Adam blinked, and raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

Kate stared at her brother, shaking her head.

"You heard me."

"What the fuck do you mean by that?"

"What did Lawrence say when you told him all that?"

"He said it was all bullshit," Adam said. Appetite gone, he shoved his half-eaten cereal in the sink, cracking the bowl. "He kept saying something about how we 'made sense' to him and that he had been so scared for me when he abandoned me in that fucking Bathroom."

"And that's why you're an idiot, Adam," Kate said. "Larry disagrees with your reason, and you're too blind to see that he's completely right."

"Why does everyone keep thinking we're so great together?" Adam yelled. "We're not! He's older, has an actual job, esteem, a reputation, a wife, a kid! What the fuck do I have? A goddamned camera! And the only person who gives a shit about me is you!" "That's not true, and you know it,"

"Who else, Mom and Dad?" Adam scoffed. "Yeah, sure, they care about me. Dad disowned me because of my 'great' relationship and Mom never talks to me! I can so feel the love there!"

"I meant Lawrence," Kate said. "He risked everything to help you when you really needed it. He sacrificed so much when he realized he was in love with you. A family, a reputation. If that's not love, I don't know what is."

"I know all that!" Adam said. "That was his own damn fault! He should've just forgotten about me and gotten on with his life. God knows I would've done it if I had been him. And how would you know if we're so great for each other?"

"Adam, I may have never seen the two of you together, but from what you've told me about him, you two sound perfect for each other!"

"Well, we're not," Adam said flatly. 'Vi was right, I am beneath him."

"What did she know?"

"Pretty much everything that I already did," Adam snapped. "Kate, what's done is done, all right? Larry and I are over, nothing is ever going to bring us together again. I'm done. As soon as that kid is born, I'm outta here. Outta town. Just mind your own business and worry about your own shit."

"Fine," Kate snapped. She unsteadily stood up. "You know what? I'm the one who's done. I'm the one who's outta here. I'm trying to help you realize what you're so stupidly giving up. Wanna be miserable? Go right ahead."

She waddled over to the apartment door and wrenched it open. Before she left, she glared back at Adam. He had the sudden knowledge that she was keeping her temper in check. If it wasn't for the baby, she'd be yelling at him right now.

"Look, Kate, I'm sorry-"

"Don't," she said. "Just remember this: I thought I was in love. Look where it got me. Where did falling in love ever get you?"

"How about a crap relationship with our parents-"

When was your relationship with your parents ever good?

"-or nightmares every fucking night?"

That was because of the Bathroom, not Lawrence. He actually made those dreams easier to deal with, remember?

"Has your break-up made any of that disappear? No. You and Mom and Dad still don't get along and you still can't sleep well."

"You don't think I know that?"

"Adam, answer me this: is not having Lawrence worth being miserable?"

No.

"I was miserable before him. I'm used to it by now."

"Did being with Larry make you happy?"

Happier than I've ever been in my life.

"Yeah,"

"So, what's the problem?"

Adam looked down and bit his lip. "I wouldn't be able to take losing him again," he said quietly. "I'd kill myself if he went back to Allison, or decided he didn't want me anymore, or…if Jigsaw were to do something to him again."

"Does the fact that you yourself caused your biggest nightmare make it hurt less?"

"Are you kidding?" Adam looked up at her. "If it wasn't for you and the kid, I would've taken a gun and had it over with long ago."

If it wasn't for Lawrence's support, you would've had it over with even sooner than that. He's been your lifesaver inside and outside of that Bathroom.

"No," Adam said. "But it would've hurt more if it was unexpected."

"How do you think it felt for him? You dropping the bomb like that?"

Adam thought back to the day before. He remembered the hurt in Lawrence's voice: "Thank you for making my worst fucking nightmare come true."

"Just think about that. I gotta go. Doctor's appointment."

Kate gave him a small smile, and left, shutting the door behind her.