ARTIST: stephyhime (Art is available on the 365daysofusuk tumblr)
AUTHOR: Anonymous
August 29th, 2014 - The Great Canadian Flag Debate
When Canada finally decided in 1965 that it was time to have his own flag, England reacted the same way he always did when he felt like his former colonies were deserting him in favor of independence. He criticized the idea as long as possible, and then fell into depression once he realized that change was inevitable. Most people went through five stages of grief, England had only two: denial and drinking.
But not this time, because America had a promise to keep.
Canada, after working very hard to catch his twin's attention at the last world meeting, had softly asked America to make sure that England attended the official ceremony instead of staying in bed with a terrible hangover. As a hero (he hardly ever forgot about Canadia since WWII!), America couldn't say no to his little brother.
America spotted his quarry at the end of the bar and congratulated himself on his awesome spy skills. Just call him Jones, Alfred Jones. Before England could spot him, he had a brief discussion with the bartender, a discussion that ended with him handing over some of the colorful bills that his brother mistakenly called 'dollars.' Satisfied with his cleverness, America took the stool next to England, ordered a beer, and smiled when England turned to scowl at him.
America smiled cheerfully. "Oh man, I can't wait to hear you drunkenly ranting about someone else for a change." He accepted a glass of beer from the bartender and raised it in England's direction. "Cheers!"
"Do shut up," England crisply replied.
"Is that a gin and tonic?" America asked. "I would've expected you to drink a martini," he switched to a bad English accent, "you know, 'shaken not stirred'."
England groaned as America's booming laughter filled the bar. The other patrons glared at the loud American, who continued to chat about 'awesome spy movies' and remained completely oblivious, as usual.
Five drinks later, England had finished a detailed rant of why the Royal Union Standard was the best flag in the world. He muttered darkly about rumors that New Zealand and Australia were also thinking of removing the Union Jack from their flags. America sat back and enjoyed the performance. It was remarkable to see England complain so vociferously about someone other than the great ol' US of A. He could appreciate England's spitfire attitude without feeling the need to defend himself.
The bartender glanced over nervously at the very tipsy blond. "I don't understand, sir," he said quietly to America, "I've been following your instructions precisely."
America waved him off. "Don't worry, dude, he always gets like this."
England didn't pay any attention to their conversation; he was still too lost in complaints. "Shtupid Canada. What was wrong with the Union Jack? Ish a good flag! I thought he would be grateful when I saved him from frog-face, but uh-uh. His people wanted to add the fleur-de… fleur-de… that frog-flower to his flag…" he muttered.
"Wanna make a French snowman and then throw snowballs at it?" America suggested.
England turned over to look at the other country so suddenly that he nearly fell off his stool. "America," he said completely seriously, "that is a brilliant plan."
They grabbed their coats and America winked at the bartender as they left. They raced up the street to the top of Parliament Hill, giving them an entire field of fresh snow. England began industriously rolling balls of snow to form a snowman's body. He wobbled and stumbled and lifted and slowly built his masterpiece (twig beard and all!), while America watched.
They tossed snowballs at the snowman until it toppled over, then began to throw snowballs at each other until England toppled over.
Still laughing, America walked over to help England stand up. The smaller nation accepted the help, and then with a grin, he slipped a handful of snow down the back of America's coat. America yelped and jumped. "Hey! That's cheating!" he protested. England laughed and took the opportunity to sprint out of reach.
America gave chase. With the advantage of longer legs and more experience running in the snow, he quickly caught up and tackled England to the ground. They tumbled end over end to the bottom of the little hill, where they rested in the snow to catch their winds. Each warm breath formed a small cloud of mist above their faces.
"I'm real proud of Canada," America offered into the silence. "His own flag, it's like he's all grown up now."
"You would feel that way," England replied. He sighed. It never got any easier as his colonies drifted away. He still had his Commonwealth, but it just wasn't the same.
"Y'know, I bet it'd mean a lot to Canada if you told him that you're proud too."
"Mmm," England replied noncommittally.
America took this for agreement. He generally assumed that everyone agreed with him all the time and then acted surprised when they denied it. "Good. I'm getting snow in places that shouldn't get snow. Let's head back. Maybe they have hot chocolate!"
When England joined him for a cup of hot chocolate and then went to bed, America considered his mission a success.
The next morning, England awoke with a surprisingly clear head and no memories blanks from the previous evening. He attributed this to his impressive tolerance for liquor. Without a hangover to keep him in bed, he stood next to a proud Canada at the official ceremony, watching as the guardsmen lowered the Canadian Red Ensign and raised the Maple Leaf Flag. The red and white flag flapped in the breeze: bold and clean and distinctively Canadian.
"It looks lovely," England admitted. "Very you. And... I want you to know that I'm proud of all the progress you've made as a country."
Canada wiped away a tear and hugged England tightly.
"How did you do it?" he asked America a little later, nodding his head at the shockingly sober England.
America chuckled. "I just paid the bartender to give him non-alcoholic drinks."
He watched the ceremony with a feeling of bittersweet pride. Perhaps someday England would tell America that he was proud of him too.
