A/N - there are a few things i want to address today,

Thank you to all of those that reviewed and accepted the last chapter in understanding. I really did think everyone was going to be mad at me but i guess i underestimated just how great my readers are!

I'm relieved that i expressed everything in the right manner last chapter.

Thank you so very much to my readers who shared their personal stories with me, i feel truly honored that you were able to share something that personal with me. I love you all more for that.

This chapter came out alot faster than i expected which i'm happy about.

In this chapter we see just how Bella and Edward are dealing with the aftermath.

Big hugz to my virtual family...i really need to find more time for you, but i still love you all dearly mwa!!

Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight!


Emptiness

BPOV

Here I was again, staring at the open field in front of me, surrounded by the thick lustrous greenery and flowers. It looked like a meadow, a peaceful beautiful meadow.

There they were again…the faint muffled cries of my baby and my heart pulled at the sound. I began walking, I've been here before so I knew where I was headed…I was headed toward the cradle that sits by the edge of a river bank. I quickened my steps to get to her faster. I followed the cries till they got louder, not by much but enough to know I was getting closer.

Then she appeared in the distance, the pink frilly sheets that adorned the cradle blowing slightly in the breeze. I could hear her cries as they got louder…strangled cries like she was pain.

I began running even though I knew this never did me any good… my legs feeling like they were being tied down by heavy weights.

Her cries got louder as I ran but she was still far…too far.

"I'm coming baby!" I tried to call out but voice came out choked as tears began to stream down my face.

Her cries grew louder, almost pained and it felt like someone was electrifying me with each of her strangled cries. She was in pain…She couldn't be in pain.

"Mummy's here!" I tried yelling but my voice was drowned out by her cries.

"She's in pain…" I said to myself as I tried to pick up my speed but with each step I took forward it looked like she was moving further away and the meadow was darkening…slowly into the night…into the unknown…into the end…

"I'm here…Mummy's here…don't cry…I'm here…" I almost started shrieking as her cries began to fade away. I could barely see the cradle now as it was fading into the darkness more with each step I took forward.

"NO! Come back!" I choked out through my tears.

"Bella?"

"Someone save her she is disappearing…come back baby…." But my voice was strangled…

"Bella, wake up, Baby…"

"Edward? They've got her, please save her." I screamed as I felt my legs giving in before I fell to the floor.

I shot up in bed as my chest heaved in front of me with my choked breathing.

"Baby, it was just a dream, it was just a dream." I turned to find Edward sitting beside me, trying to brush the hair out of my tear drenched face.

"It was just a dream, you're ok." He pulled me into his bare chest and I cried into it. This was the third night I have had the same dream, the dream of my baby, being so close but not within my reach. It's been three days since the day it happened and I was still in pain. I was heart broken, I felt empty, I found myself constantly rubbing my stomach unconsciously, wishing I still held our child in there.

"She was so close…" I choked out in a whisper against his chest. He had a hand around my back and his other hand was in my hair, holding me against him and lightly stroking through my hair, how he knew it relaxed me.

"I know, you'll get through it, we'll get through it. It was meant to be…things happen for a reason, I'm a big believer in that." He spoke softly, trying to calm me down. My breathing had slowed and my tears had dried out a little.

I pulled away enough to look into his eyes. I couldn't see clearly in them because of the darkness in our room.

He continued brushing my hair out of my face as he gazed into my eyes.

"I know this is hard for you, its proven to be hard for me too. But we have each other and we have Brady, it's not the end, baby. We'll try again when you're ready. We will have that family one day, this is just a little bump in the road."

I tried smiling back at him. He had been so great over the past few days. He was hurting too, I could see it even though he was trying hard to hide it. But I knew him better, I knew the look in his eyes.

"Can you just hold me…don't let me go." My voice was weak and on the verge of breaking through my tears again. He gave me a soft smile, kissed me on the forehead and then sat us up in bed against the bed head. He pulled me as close as I could go into his side and wrapped both his arms around me, holding me tight.

"Edward…." I began, trying to fight back the tears that I that were threatening to emerge. I was so sick of crying, that's all I've been doing in the last three and a half years of my life, I was sick of it, sick of the pain, of the loss and of the heartbreak. I wanted happiness, happiness that would last more than a few weeks at a time.

"Yeah baby," He answered as he nuzzled his face into my hair.

"I need you…" I whispered.

"I'm here, I'm always here." I shook my head against his chest.

"I need you, I really need you, I can't lose you…I just can't. I won't survive without you…" My voice faded away as my tears began again. I was scared he was going to disappear from my life, I don't know why but I felt like whenever I began to feel complete or happy everything is taken away from me and I couldn't have that with Edward. A person can handle only so much loss and Edward was my life, in everyway imaginable, he was the air that I breathe, my warmth, my happiness, my comfort, my home and most importantly my heart, he was what kept me alive in every sense of the word.

"Bella," He pulled me away and lifted me into his lap so that I was straddling him. He brought his hand up and lightly wiped away my fallen tears with his thumb ever so gently. His gaze trailed up my face and into my eyes, he looked hurt. He cradled my face within his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes. He was silent for a few moments…he looked like he was thinking, trying to form what he was feeling into words.

"Bella," He whispered again, his lips were pursed and his brows were furrowed in concentration but almost like in concentrated pain and then slowly his face relaxed and but his face stayed serious, still cradling my face in his hands, he spoke, softly but with so much emotion.

"Love is . . . born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other and it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. I will never ever leave your side, you are mine, I am yours and even the thought of losing you proves to be too much for me to even begin to fathom. I love you in every way, I love you with every inch of my being, I've never felt so close, so connected and so….whole and complete with anyone but you. I want you…no…I need you to understand that and believe it." He locked his emerald orbs with mine, his eyes glistening with tears but never escaping.

I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his in a feather light kiss. I pulled away, our foreheads resting against one another and our noses touching, our eyes locked on one another.

"I know that and I believe it and that's why I'm scared, because it's so strong that I don't think-"

"Baby," He stopped me. "Don't. Don't beat yourself over what could happen. Its not healthy for you or the relationship, just…bask in the enormity of our love for one another, ok?" I nodded against his face and then nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck and settled myself there. That was my favorite spot to rest, I could smell him, smell his cologne with a mix of him, he had his own scent that I loved, I couldn't explain it but it was just…him, perfectly.

His arms came around my back, pushing me into him. I turned my head slightly to glance at the clock, 4:45am, the clock read in its red digits. I turned back into his neck and closed my eyes.

It was Tuesday morning, and I haven't been to work this week. I was able to take the week off to give myself time to recover. We were given the options of treatments and I opted to go with a natural miscarriage, my pregnancy was still in its early stage so Dr. Winston recommended I should just wait it out rather than do a D&C. She gave me some painkillers to help with the pain as the cramping was going to continue for a week or so if not more, it all depended on my body.

Edward has been fantastic throughout this, he has taken every day off except one shift on Sunday night that he couldn't get out of, so he sent Alice to come and take care of me. She was fantastic too. She has come to visit twice when she found the time between work and home. She even sat and cried with me the first time. She cried not only because she was upset about what happened to me but also because she knew what I was feeling. Apparently she had suffered a miscarriage before she fell pregnant with Peter. She was three and a half months pregnant so it was a little more brutal for her physically and emotionally. She was such a strong person, she really did make me feel better.

Edward has been taking Brady to school, cleaning the house, taking care of the meals and everything else in between. I wanted to help but he wouldn't let me, I was forced into bed or the couch while he served my every need. I have never felt so lucky to have him. I knew he was suffering too but he was just better at hiding it than I was. He was forcing himself to take care of me despite himself emotionally and he never even once complained or sighed annoyance. This little set back has actually brought us even closer together. It's made our love stronger. We have realized now more than ever just how much we need and want each other and that together we can get through anything. I felt truly blessed even in a situation as down as this.

Physically I've been drained. The pain killers were helping with the cramps but I felt tired and drained physically and emotionally too. I was making constant trips to the bathroom it was irritating but all part of the process, I had another 2 to three weeks if not more to look forward to this.

Seth has called to check up on me everyday, Edward was the one to tell him what happened the following day as I was still an emotional wreck to talk about it myself. Edward said that Seth was really concerned and worried about me as soon as he found out. Seth came and visited me last night to see how I was going. It was good having him over, he really was such a good friend and I couldn't have been happier to have him apart of my life again. He promised he wouldn't say anything to Billy. It just wasn't his business, at least for the moment anyway. If I felt like telling him in the future then I would with no hesitation but at the moment there really was no need for him to know.

I must have fallen asleep because I was woken up by Brady's voice. I stirred a little and found myself really uncomfortable. My eyes fluttered open and I found myself still straddling Edward's lap and my face still in the crook of his neck. The poor guy didn't even move me. I forced myself back a little and he looked at me with a warm smile.

"Good morning, beautiful." He cooed as he brushed my hair behind my ears.

"Morning." I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Aren't you sore? Why didn't you move me, your back must be aching." I said as I climbed off, I even felt a little stiff. He shrugged like it was no big deal.

"You seemed comfortable and I didn't want to disturb you. You wanted me to hold you so I did, you feel safer in my arms, don't you?" He asked with his lop sided grin in place. I smiled back at him, enjoying the perfection that was Edward Cullen.

"I did and I do. And I love you so much for it." It wasn't until he giggled that I remembered Brady was in the room. I turned and found him sitting on the end of the bed, his legs crossed.

"Good morning my sweet Brady."

"Good morning Mummy." He grinned back at me. He just made my heart melt he was so adorable. We hadn't told him anything, it was nothing necessary for him to know and Edward and I were so relieved we hadn't told him about the pregnancy because the conversation of telling him about the miscarriage would have been a very confusing and painful one to explain for him.

"Let me get you some breakfast." I offered, but before I could even attempt to move Edward lightly grabbed my arm stopping me.

"No you don't. Sleep, you need your sleep."

"Edward, baby, please. I need to do something, making breakfast is not physically demanding, I think I can do it. I need to move around, I'm feeling a little better." He searched my face closely to see how true that was as I pleaded with my eyes. I really needed to start moving around, to get into the hang of things again, anything that would help me get back to normal.

"Ok, just don't over do it." He finally agreed.

"I won't." I gave him another quick kiss on the cheek before getting out of bed and heading into the bathroom to freshen up. Once I had changed into some jeans and a grey jumper I went to the kitchen and decided to make some waffles.

I made the batter and then began pouring them into the waffle maker when Edward and Brady entered the kitchen. Brady was all dressed up and ready for school thanks to Edward.

Edward poured some food for Storm into his bowl while Brady took a seat at the table. I served up the waffles and we all sat down to eat. I hadn't eaten much during the last few days and I even noticed I had lost a few pounds. My clothes felt a little loose on me and I hated it. I really did try to eat but I couldn't do it, I was so unsettled that I couldn't form the appetite to keep anything down.

"Would you like some toast or some fruit, it might be lighter than this on your stomach?" Edward leaned and suggested into my ear.

I turned to look at him and kissed him on the lips, I shook my head as I pulled back. "I'll be ok." He sighed in frustration.

"Bella, you need to eat. You can't stay like this, your body is going through so many things at the moment you need your sustenance." He got up without waiting for me to answer and pulled out some fruit from the fridge and began chopping them up for me. I got up from my seat and stopped him.

"I'll do it." I said quietly, hoping I didn't offend him for doing something so kind and loving. He continued to stare at the fruit in his hands for a few seconds as if mulling over what I said. He dropped them and turned to look at me, cradling my face in hands to make me look at him closely.

"I'm worried about you. I can't keep forcing you to eat." His voice sounded hurt and pained. I knew how hard it must be for him to watch me this way. I would have been feeling the same if the roles were reversed.

"I know and…I'm going to eat it, just let me do it. Go eat your breakfast, you haven't eaten much yourself either."

"Yeah well, I'm not the one going through a miscarriage, I can handle it." As soon as he spoke those words, he shut his eyes tight and clenched his jaw for a few moments as if almost torturing himself. He slowly opened them to look at me, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that…" He shut his eyes again seeming so angry at himself as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Fuck…I'm such an idiot." He whispered to himself.

"Edward, no! I'm ok, stop beating yourself over this. You're suffering just as much as me." He nodded without relaxing and hugged me against him. I kissed his chest and then forced him over to the table. I didn't want to do this in front of Brady. He was looking at us but he couldn't hear anything from where he was sitting.

Edward returned to his seat while I chopped up my fruit and then joined them to finish breakfast. Once they had finished Edward took Brady to school and then did some grocery shopping as the fridge was in serious need of a refill.

The next few days remained the same, the dream came back to haunt me every night, resulting in snuggling up to Edward in a sitting position, that somehow helped me feel closer. I was finally allowed to cook again, I loved cooking and it was soothing for me, although I wasn't allowed to do anything else. I was feeling a little better emotionally. It still hurt a lot to think about it but when I wasn't I was fine. I just tried to keep myself busy so I didn't have time to think.

Edward had to start work again on Friday night. He had been taking so much time off that he couldn't do it anymore. Alice decided that her an Rosalie were going to come over for a little girls night of movie watching with pizza and sangria, although I wasn't really going to drink any alcohol, not yet. Edward swore he had nothing to do with the arrangement but something told me he did, he was really worried about me and I think he just wanted me to have some time with the girls to forget about everything that was happening.

Brady was being sent off to Alice's place where Emmett and Jasper were going to babysit. That was fine by me. I trusted Emmett and Jasper like brothers. Emmett and I seemed really close and he even stopped by a few times to check up on me during the week, he was just great, a true softy.

A part of me was actually looking forward to our little night together. I needed something to take my mind off of what has been going on in my life and just enjoy being a girl. I feel like I forced myself into adult hood at such a young age that I never really just had some fun. I was 27 years old, most girls my age are just considering marriage, so tonight I wanted to do that, forget I was a mother and a girlfriend and just be…

Brady, Peter and Charlotte were all picked up from school by Emmett and taken back to Jasper and Alice's place. I squeezed in an hour nap before I had to get up and get ready. I went and had a quick shower and blow dried my hair before tying it up into a loose pony tail. I slipped on my comfortable navy fitted khakis and paired them with a cream colored sweater.

At 7 o'clock Alice and Rosalie arrived, bearing Pizza, garlic bread, alcohol and the ingredients needed for the sangria.

"You guys didn't have to do all this." I said as I grabbed the pizzas off Alice and placed them on the coffee table.

"Oh don't be silly Bella, tonight is girls night, that means no talk of children, husbands, fiancés or boyfriends got it?" She said pointing her skinny index finger at me mockingly.

"Whatever you say Mrs. Whitlock." I laughed. I couldn't help feel whatever Alice was radiating. There was always a happy calm mood radiating off of her that I just couldn't help but feel also.

"Alrighty, while I get started on the sangria, Bella you sit down, tonight is all about you and Alice you get the plates and movies ready." Rosalie yelled from the kitchen as she started pulling out the ingredients for her sangria.

"Oh, what movies did you get?" I asked Alice as I plopped myself down on the couch in front of the TV.

"We got girly chick flicks that our men would otherwise groan at watching. We got 'the notebook', 'Pretty Woman' and 'He's just not that into you'." Alice replied almost singing the titles in excitement.

"Great! I love 'the notebook' I've seen it so many times and can never get enough of it." I sighed as I pulled out the DVD cases from the bag that Alice had brought them in.

"So do you want to watch that or something different?" Alice asked as she walked to the kitchen to grab some plates.

"Whatever you girls feel like." I called back to her.

"Its about you Bella tonight, so you pick." Rosalie yelled back to me from the kitchen. I really did love the notebook but I decided I'll change tonight.

"Pretty Woman. I want to watch that." I decided.

"Then that's what we'll watch." Alice said prancing back into the room with plates, serviettes and glasses.

Rosalie followed soon after with her jug of sangria and settled down on the couch. She poured herself and Alice a glass while I just decided to have some water with my food.

Alice popped in the movie and we each grabbed a slice of pizza and watched. I giggled to myself when I remembered Richard Gear's name in the movie is Edward. That brought a smile to my face. As much as I said I wanted to just be me and not be a girlfriend for a few hours, I couldn't help but think about him, I already missed him like hell and couldn't wait to see him when he came home.

We were mostly quiet throughout the movie, making a comment here and there like how different Julia Roberts looked back then or how sweet Richard Gear's character was. Alice and Rosalie were a giggling mess in the end once they had drank every last drop of the jug of Sangria, this was going to be interesting.

The movie finished and Rosalie jumped up to turn it off. Alice quickly gathered up our mess, swaying slightly from the alcohol as she went and hurried into the kitchen.

She came back out a few moments later with bowls, spoons and a tub of ice cream. I really was going to love that. I decided to serve up the ice cream as Alice couldn't stop giggling enough to do it herself. Apparently she found the name of the ice cream really funny, 'Peter's' it was called. Don't ask.

Rosalie put in 'the notebook' since I wanted to watch that first and we settled back down to start watching. I was actually enjoying myself. It was taking my mind away from my problems and that was the main aim so I felt good. Alice and Rosalie were such close friends to me now that I really enjoyed their company. They were both so caring and such devoted friends always knowing how to make me feel better.

"Ryan Gosling is so hot and sexy." Rosalie commented once we were half way through the movie.

"He is." I replied.

"Jasper is way hotter." Alice giggled. "And I'm sure a better kisser." The girl couldn't stop giggling like a teenager she was making me laugh.

"Emmett is a great kisser! Oh my God, when he circles his tongue around mine-" Rosalie began before Alice cut her off.

"Ewwww! I don't want to hear about my brother's tongue or kissing. Gross!" Alice said shaking her head in disgust. Rosalie and I just laughed.

"Well, then you tell us about Jasper." I offered. Both their heads shot up to look at me like I had just admitted I was really a man. "What?" I asked blushing.

"Just didn't expect that from you, that's all. You seem so quite and reserved all the time." Alice answered.

"It's the quiet ones you have to be careful from. I'm sure she is a tigress in the bedroom." Rosalie said waggling her perfectly arched eyebrows at me. I grabbed the cushion beside me and buried my face into it, feeling the blush spread all the way to my hair line.

"See, what did I say?" Rosalie laughed. "Tell us Bella. Is Edward….well….gifted? Cos' Emmett's huge and I'm sure it must be a trait in the Cullen gene-"

"STOP! Stop!" Alice laughed but with disgust, "I can't hear this." She blocked her ears with her hands so she couldn't hear and closed her eyes at the same time. Rosalie laughed at Alice before turning her gaze back to me waiting for my answer.

"He is….very well gifted…that…it hurts a little sometimes." I said trying hard not to grin while the blush on my face just turned into a deeper red. I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. Rosalie cracked up laughing, clutching her stomach as apparently Alice has just removed her hands from he ears in time to hear my answer. She was covering her face with her hands and shaking her head in absolute disgust. I couldn't help but laugh hard too. It was good to just let go and laugh for once.

"Ok, ok…stop it please." Alice said trying to contain her composure. "I will never be able to look at my brothers the same way again, that was just wronnng." I chuckled to myself as did Rosalie.

"Well, it's only fair you tell us about Jasper now." Rosalie chimed in. Alice didn't need much encouragement as she just flew right in with her answer.

"Sex with Jasper is amazing! We have been married for seven years now and the sex just keeps getting better." She blushed a little as she answered, with the biggest grin planted across her face.

"I know, it's the same with Emmett, we have been together for just over two years and it does just get better and better. It never felt this good with anyone I have ever been with. We also keep it fun with toys and role playing and all that."

"Same, it keeps things interesting."

"You use toys?" I asked looking with shock at Alice. I don't know why it was such a surprise to me. I just never really expected that from her and Jasper.

"You've never tried it?" Rose asked incredulously. I shook my head frowning. "Not even with Jacob?" She asked again. I shook my head once more.

"Wow, Bells you're missing out on quite a bit." Rose said seriously.

"What kind of toys?" I asked needing to make sure.

"Well, it depends, nothing too out there, just things like hand cuffs which you know about, Emmett loves it when I use a whip on him." I raised my eyebrows at her. She just laughed before she continued, "I don't hurt him, it's just for fun…you should try it." Rose said as if she was recommending a new movie I should watch. I bit my lip in embarrassment as I slouched down into the couch. I had never really thought if Edward was into all that stuff.

Alice snapped me out of my thoughts, "Rose, you should call Emmett and get him to pick us up soon, maybe in an hour. I'll pick up my car tomorrow." Alice suggested. Rose nodded and got up to grab her cell and call Emmett.

"So, Bella!" Alice began with a huge grin and I could tell this was heading somewhere. "Tomorrow we're going shopping!" She said clapping her hands excitedly. "We have Christmas outfits and new years outfits to sort out, so I don't want no excuses from you." I knew this was another effort to keep me distracted and to be honest I wasn't up for it. But I didn't want to disappoint them so I just went along with it.

"Ok, sounds great." I said without much enthusiasm. "I'll be back." I hurried to the bathroom did my thing and went back to the lounge. Rose was slumped into the couch, shoes off and feet tucked beneath her.

The notebook was almost finished but we didn't really watch it, we sat and chatted about everything and anything. Alice said she would be back at my place tomorrow with Rose at noon. Emmett arrived an hour later to pick up his tipsy fiancé and sister. He came in and sat with us briefly, cracking us up with a few of his jokes. He was such a big bear I loved him.

They all seemed a bit concerned when they came to leave me but I assured them I would be fine. It was almost midnight and Edward was due back home at 3am in the morning. They eventually left but not before Alice cleaned up our little mess.

I went into my bedroom and slipped on my pajamas, black flannelette pants with a red and black long sleeve top. I came to climb into bed but didn't like the fact I would sleeping alone, especially if I were to have another dream. So I made the decision to sleep on the couch with the TV on till Edward came home.

I watched a few infomercials that were on. I was so bored I almost bought the 'Snuggie'. If you ask me though, all you had to do was wear a robe back to front and it would be the same thing. I fell asleep some time during the 'Ab king pro'. I eventually felt strong arms wrap around me and from his scent I knew it was Edward straight away. I was lifted up off the couch and taken to the bedroom.

"Edward?" I whispered without opening my eyes. I tried pulling him down with me onto the bed but he resisted.

"It's me baby, I just need to take a quick shower and I'll be right back." He whispered back as he tried to pry my hands from around his neck. I sighed in annoyance and reluctantly let go.

I heard him step into the bathroom and the door click closed. I felt cold and lonely without him so I couldn't sleep. I sat myself up and rubbed my eyes open. I wish I could join him in there I thought to myself.

Before I knew it I heard the water in the shower switch off and he was stepping out wearing nothing but his blue boxers.

"You're awake." He stated in surprise.

"I needed you near." He smiled back at me as he climbed into bed. We lay down as he pulled me into his side so that my back was to his chest. He gave me kiss on the cheek before he nestled his face into my hair.

"I missed you," I whispered.

"Me too, I missed you so much." He was silent for a few moments before he spoke again. "Did you enjoy yourself?" He asked.

"Yes, I did. We're going shopping tomorrow."

"I know." I spun around so that I was on my side facing him.

"You know? How?" I asked.

"It was my idea. I want you to buy a few things for yourself. I'll tell you tomorrow, just sleep my baby." I kissed him on the lips, softly and tenderly missing the taste of him. We hadn't really been all that intimate all week besides quick pecks and hugging. He kissed me back, sucking on my bottom lip and then pulling it between his lips as he pulled away.

"I love you." He said as he stroked my hair.

"I love you."

With that we fell asleep holding each other. That was the first night I didn't have that nightmare.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed and I didn't like it. I climbed out and walked out of the room. As soon as I exited the room the smell of eggs and bacon travelled into my nose causing my stomach to gurgle in hunger. I made my way to the kitchen and found Edward wearing his grey track pants and black t-shirt standing by the stove. I snuck up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He looked over his shoulder at me with his heart stopping crooked smile.

"Good morning Edward." I sighed in content as I took in his sexy scent.

He turned himself in my arms so that he was facing me. He leaned down and kissed me softly.

"Good morning beautiful. How did you sleep?" He asked as he nuzzled his face into my neck and started tracing his lips lightly along my skin.

"Mmmmm….it was good." I groaned at how good it felt. He chuckled and pulled away.

"I noticed. I'm glad you did, you needed that. Now, take a seat, breakfast is ready." He turned back to the stove and started serving up our plates. I took a seat and took a little sip of the glass of orange juice he had waiting for me.

He sat beside me like he always does and we ate in silence. I actually ate quite a bit, I was feeling much better today, physically at least. Deep down emotionally I was still hurting quite a bit but I was trying hard not to think too much about it. I spoke to get my mind off of things.

"What were you saying last night about you being the reason for shopping or something like that?" I asked as I crunched on a piece of bacon.

"Oh," He shot up from his seat and disappeared into our room. I kept my eyes on where he had disappeared, surprised at what he was doing. He ran back with an envelope in his hand.

"Here," He handed me the little envelope and sat back down and continued eating like nothing happened. I stared at him in shock for a second trying to figure out what this was.

"What is it?"

"Open it," He said keep his eyes on his eggs as he scooped them up onto a piece of toast. I shook my head trying to clear my shock before opening up the envelope. It wasn't sealed so I just lifted the top and lifted out a card, a black American Express credit card. It had Isabella Black on it. I froze for a second staring at it trying to figure out what he was doing.

"It's a credit card." I stated stunned.

"Yes, it is." He chuckled looking at me briefly before taking a sip of his orange juice.

"Umm…it's got my name on it." I stated again.

"Bella…it's for you, I got this credit card for you. You're using it today when you go shopping. Buy whatever you want." I turned to look at him in shock.

"Edward…this is too much…" I argued trying to comprehend the enormity of it.

"Bella," He said finally turning to me. "I was trying not to make a big deal out of it because it isn't. What's mine is yours now, ok? I got you this credit card that I want you to use for all your expenses from now on."

"But Edward-"

"I don't want to hear it. I just got it in the mail the other day but waited for you know…till things settled a bit. Take it, it's for you, I don't want to hear it. I love you and you deserve so much more than this." He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips before getting up and taking his plate to the sink.

He put his plates in the sink and began to head to the bedroom when I realized I hadn't even thanked him. I felt so bad, this was a big thing he had done and I didn't even bother to tell him how much it meant to me. I jumped up from my seat and winced a bit as a sharp cramp hit me. I took a second to overcome it before I hurried to the bedroom after him. He was in the bathroom.

"Edward," I called out to him while knocking on the door.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?" I asked.

"Just give me a sec." He called back out. I leaned against the wall beside the bathroom door and waited for him to open it. When he walked out he had a towel wrapped low around his hips. He was dry which meant he was undressing for a shower.

I hooked my fingers into the top of his towel and pulled him to me almost making his towel drop before he quickly clutched it and held it in place, I chuckled. He had his brows furrowed at me, trying to figure out what I wanted.

"Edward…I'm so sorry for acting like such a bitch before." I began, looking into his eyes. "If I did offend you I'm sorry, its just I wasn't expecting it and you took me by surprise."

"Bella, let me explain. I'm not mad and you didn't act like a bitch. Secondly, we are seriously dating, things may have shifted slightly but I still want you to move in with me and marry me. But until then, take this, it's the least I can do to show you we're one now. We work as one entity, there is no you and me, it's just us."

"See? You're just too perfect acting all loving and great and then I act so stupid and stuff it up." I said resting my head against his chest in utter frustration with myself.

"Bella," He pulled me back by my arms so that he could look at me. "You're going to make it up to me. You're going to use that credit card today to shop till you drop, preferably for some really sexy lingerie." He leaned down to kiss me on the lips but I was frowning. He pulled back to look at me.

"Too soon? I'm sorry, I just thought I could try and get your mind off of…things" He shrugged as he let out an annoyed breath with himself.

"I know, I'm just not sure if I'm up to it. I mean I'll shop and I'll try my best but I'm not sure how into it I'll get." He pulled me against his bare chest and kissed the top of my head.

"I know I'm sorry. I'm hurting still too Bella, but I guess I just deal with things differently to you." I gave him one last kiss before he headed inside to take his shower. I cleaned up after breakfast and came to tidy and clean until I realized the house was already spotless, Edward had been non stop cleaning all week. I decided I should go and check my emails.

I sat down in front of my computer and went to my emails. I found one from Renee and clicked on it.

Bella,

I hope everything has been great with you and Brady. How was your thanksgiving?

Phil and I spent thanksgiving with his parents, except we had a barbecue instead of the traditional sit down meal with Turkey. It was great!

Well, Christmas is just under four weeks away and Phil and I have decided that we will be flying down to Forks to spend it with you! I can't wait to see you and Brady and maybe I'll finally get to meet this hunk Edward : )

I will be spending about four days down there and then I plan on bringing Brady back down with me to spend a week or so for NYE, I miss him so much. You can fly down and take him back and even spend some time here too. It would be great having you back here. Bring Edward with you, Phil would love to show him around the town, maybe even play a few games of baseball ; )

Look forward to seeing you baby. Tell me what you think.

Take care and lots of kisses to my Brady

Renee xox

By the time I finished reading I had a few tears in my eyes. I missed my mum so much that the mere possibility of seeing her soon had me in tears. She was my rock. She was the one person I could tell anything too. I have even told her about Edward, everything from the day I first saw him till now, except for the pregnancy. She was so happy for me, she had always been on my back to get me into dating while I was still back Phoenix.

I got up from my seat to look for Edward as I couldn't wait to tell him. I really wanted Renee to meet him and I had no doubt in my mind she would absolutely love him.

I found him in the bedroom putting on his jeans.

"Hey baby," He smiled as he tried to fasten up the buttons.

"Hi, I just got an email from my mum and she said she most likely will be coming down for Christmas with Phil!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah? That's great! Hang on, hang on. You're telling me I have another father I have to impress? Geesh, one is enough and I have two?" He said in mock seriousness.

"Yep," I said as I approached him, "And Phil's a big guy, so you're going to have to watch out." I said with a chuckle.

"Well, I'm going to have to get Emmett and Seth, he's a big guy too, on my back for some back up." I laughed out loud. He brought a hand up to caress my cheek, "I've missed that sound. And that smile." He leaned down and planted a kiss on my lips. "We'll get through it, baby." I sighed into his chest and hugged him tight. Just remembering brought that clenching feeling to my chest.

"Hey," I tried changing the subject, "She is going to be taking Brady back with her to Phoenix for new years eve and then we can go pick him up together. I would love for you to see Phoenix."

"That sounds great. We will make it our little trip. Well, you better get ready, Alice will be here soon."

"Ok, you're right, I don't want to beaten to death with shopping bags." I chuckled as I pulled away. He slapped my ass as I walked off earning a squeal from me.

EPOV

Seeing her smile and laugh like that just made my heart flutter. I could never begin to explain just how much I love her. Watching her go through this heart ache of the miscarriage is so painful for me to witness. She deserved so much and yet I feel there is always something putting her down. She needs a break, she just needs some time to enjoy life and forget about all the obstacles that life keeps throwing her way.

When Dr. Winston told us our diagnosis I felt my heart shatter. I felt this pain in my chest that I just can't begin to explain. It felt like someone had ripped my heart of my chest and thrown it away. But I knew that no matter how hurt I was feeling it would be ten times worse for Bella. She was the one going through it physically and emotionally. I had to hide my true emotions and try to act strong for her sake. It would just be a mess if the both of us were to break down and lose it. So I hid my pain and tried to make things as easiest as I could for her.

I became attached to this baby as any person would naturally. And as distraught as I am that it is gone, I try to think positive and tell myself that we will have another baby. There will be nothing stopping us from having another baby in the near future. Bella is my everything and I want her to be apart of me in every possible way which meant that I want to have a family with her. I want to fill our home with our kids.

It was my idea to send Alice and Rose over last night. I thought Bella was in serious need of some girl time. Just some time to let loose and have fun. My main concern was leaving her on her own while I was doing my shift. That would have just left her with time to sit by herself and wallow in the loss. I didn't want her to do that, it wouldn't be healthy.

I took a quick shower and got dressed. I was going to go to Jasper's to help out with kids while the girls shopped. As I was dressing I heard voices in the lounge and knew that Rose and Alice had arrived.

"Hey, girls." I said as I walked into the lounge room.

"Hey brother!" Alice danced her way to me and gave me a little hug. I would really need to find out where she got her constant energy from.

"Hi Edward," Rosalie said sneakily. Bella hit her on the arm as Rosalie laughed, Bella just blushed. Obviously there was some sort of joke going on between them that I didn't know about.

"Ewww, please, I was just getting over that." Alice complained hitting both Bella and Rosalie on the arm as Rosalie and Bella both laughed. Ok, this was getting weird.

"Thanks for taking care of her last night."

"There is nothing more we love than our Bella." Alice wrapped her arms around Bella's shoulder and pulled her to the side while grinning at her. It was great to see how my whole family has accepted her with open arms. Alice and Rosalie were close with Tanya but not to the extent they are with Bella. Bella seemed to have fit right in from day one.

"Well, I'm off to Jasper's. We might take the kids out." I said looking over at Bella and smiling. She was so beautiful. She frowned as she walked over to me slowly and leaned up on the tip of her toes and gave me a soft lingering kiss.

I heard Rosalie and Alice shuffle out of the room, so I grabbed Bella by the hips and pressed her against me as I deepened the kiss. We have been so caught up with what happened that we haven't been intimate all that much. Neither one of us in the mood for anything and of course her body was going through hell at the moment so we knew nothing was to happen but even simple kisses we weren't even doing.

She hummed as she pulled away, looking me up in the eyes. "I don't want to go, I want to stay here and have you hold me." She frowned.

"I'm sorry, I thought this would be good for you." I said as I stroked her cheek with the back of my fingers.

"No, what's good for me is to stay home and…." Her tears appeared as she bit her bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

"Shit! Come here." I pulled her into a hug. I fucking hated myself. I thought I was doing well trying to keep her distracted but obviously not. She just wanted to stay home and cry and maybe that's all she needed, just to let it out of her system. And maybe she didn't need someone forcing her into activities to distract her. I felt like such an ass.

I held her against me as I led her over to the couch and sat her in my lap sideways, resting her feet along the length of the couch. She cuddled into my chest and tucked her hands against her chest and cried.

"I am so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to force you into anything." I kissed the top of her head and wrapped my arms as tight as I could so that she was pressed up against me.

"Edward," she whispered as she cried.

"Yeah baby?"

"I miss it….I miss our baby…." She cried harder and I hugged her tighter, kicking myself for being so incompetent of such a simple task. Why couldn't I just let her wallow?

"I know…I do to," I heard movement just to the side and behind me. I turned my head and found Alice and Rosalie looking concerned as they watched Bella cry. I mouthed for them to go home and I'll call them later by putting my hand like a phone to my ear.

They both nodded in sadness and then disappeared back out.

I held her while she cried, I let her cry it out till she couldn't no more. Halfway through she wrapped her arms around me and nestled her face into the crook of my neck.

"I love you." She whispered as she sniffled.

"I love you always." I responded. We sat like that for a few hours, both of us drifting off to sleep.

I woke up when I felt her shifting slightly within my arms. My arms to my surprise were still around her and not fallen by my sides. I lifted my head off the back of the couch and looked at her.

She lifted her face from my neck and looked at me with a weak smile. "I'm sorry, I keep putting you to sleep in the most uncomfortable positions."

"Don't be silly, I'm fine. How are you feeling?" I asked as I brushed away the hair that was stuck to her face.

She shrugged and tried smiling.

"Look Bella, I'm so sorry for trying to force you into things. I really thought that trying to distract you would have been the better way for you to deal with things, but obviously not. I should have taken into consideration the way you want to deal with things, ok now I'm just blabbering." I let out a gust of air as she chuckled lightly at me.

"You are just worried, I know. But thank you either way, you were just looking out for me." She spoke still with sadness in her voice and I knew this was still hurting her deeply.

"Hey," I cradled her face within my hands, "I'm hurting too, ok? I feel it, believe me I feel it. I may not show it but I'm just as upset about our loss. But baby, we can deal with anything together. We are together forever. We will try again when we're ready ok?" I asked as I could feel my own tears forming. I blinked them back, I really didn't want to show her just how much it hurt. I dropped my hands from her face and held her hands within mine.

She gave me a slight smile before she spoke, "You're perfect and even if I have just you and only you, I will be the happiest girl in this entire world without a doubt, because you Edward Cullen," She lifted one of our twined hands and placed it over her heart, "are my heart. My love for you is insatiable." I looked into her eyes and saw how sincere she was. How much love she held for me in them and that just made my heart soar.

I brought my lips down to hers and kissed her with so much passion and lust. I wanted her to know just how much she meant to me. The kiss was sensual and slow, our mouths opening slightly against one another as the tips of tongues lightly brushed as our mouths moved. She twisted herself so that she was straddling my lap and her hands found my hair at the nape of my neck.

She pulled away first for air and rested her head onto my chest. I held her within my arms again wishing I could hold her like this forever…


I hope i have done you proud in this chapter too!

There is an ice cream brand in Australia named 'Peters', although i don't find it funny like drunken Alice does, it was just the first name that came to my head.

I was watching Pretty Woman on TV when i wrote this, hence the Pretty Woman reference.

REVIEW PLEASE and let me know what you think. I have so so so many readers and i haven't heard from 3/4's of you so review just once if anything and let me know what you think!