Chapter 29: Fire and Blood
Joseph was thankful that the sky was free of clouds today, allowing the late afternoon sun to warm him with its rays as he and his family stepped out of Zootopia's Natural History Museum and into the chilly air. He rubbed his paws together as a cool breeze ruffled his fur, a tiny shiver going through him. It hadn't been this cold when they went in, had it?
"So, Joseph, what did you think?" Judy asked from in front of him, her right paw clasped firmly in Nick's left. "Did you like our little family museum tour?"
"Yeah, it was great," Joseph replied with a smile as the trio began to walk down the bustling street. "Really cool to learn about a different kind of history. I have to say, though, I'm surprised they still have that one exhibit open after everything that happened between you guys and Bellwether."
"Hey, at least we got our names engraved on that plaque next to the deer pit," Nick stated wryly.
"It's not a 'deer pit', you dumb fox," Judy said, giving her partner a playful shove with her shoulder. The bunny let go of her fox's paw, hopping ahead of him and beginning to walk backwards so that she could face him. She was about to expound on what the proper name for the exhibit was when her eyes caught on the newly opened hot cocoa stand off to their left. "You boys want some hot cocoa?" she asked giddily, clearly excited by the prospect of the warm beverage. "Get that November chill out of your bones?"
"I'd love some," Joseph answered. Nick answered in the affirmative as well, and Judy left the two vulpines leaning up against the brick facade of a small tax service building a few feet away from the stand. She walked back over to them a few minutes later, a cardboard tray with three steaming cups of hot chocolate clutched in one paw, and a nearly half-eaten cranberry muffin in the other.
"Carrots!" Nick said indignantly when he saw the treat his bunny was happily munching on, "Where's my muffin?"
"Well, you didn't ask f-" Judy began to reply snarkily. Before she could finish her remark, however, the doe suddenly stopped in her tracks, her paws going slack and her violet eyes widening as the cocoa and muffin tumbled to the ground in front of her.
Nick and Joseph immediately sprang to attention, realizing that something was very clearly wrong. "Carrots?" Nick called out to his lover, who was still several yards down the sidewalk, standing still as a statue with a slightly shocked expression on her face. "Judy? Sweetie, what is it, are you okay?"
"Nick…" the bunny finally managed to choke out, her voice barely more than a whisper as the two foxes continued toward her. Joseph couldn't help but feel as though the two of them had been walking towards Judy for several minutes but hadn't advanced an inch.
"Judy?" Joseph called out to her, panic beginning to creep into his voice. His feet began to pick up speed, but still neither he nor his adoptive father were any closer to the rabbit. "Judy, what's wrong?"
"S-something's happening…" Judy groaned softly. She finally moved then, her large rabbit feet shuffling forward as she began to try and close the space between herself and her partner. As though in slow motion, Joseph saw her lips begin to form Nick's name once again, but she never got the chance to say it.
As she slowly tried to move towards them, Judy's toes caught on the overturned tray that had carried the hot cocoa, which was currently running in thick, black rivulets down the sidewalk and into the gutter. She stumbled forward, her bright purple eyes blank in shock, her arms stretched outwards towards her fox as if she hoped that she would catch him. But Nick and Joseph still seemed unable to move forward at all, and the only thing they could do was watch in horror as Judy fell.
Time seemed to slow to a nearly imperceptible crawl as Judy fell forward. The air became still and suddenly, painfully hot as the bunny plummeted face-first towards the pavement. Joseph saw that what seemed to be flecks and bits of ash were trailing off of Judy's ears and paws as she went down, and it was only when her knees hit the ground that he realized that the ashes weren't on Judy - they were Judy.
The kit heard his father cry out Judy's name as she collapsed, but the sound of his voice seemed to come from a thousand feet beneath the ocean, so horrified was Joseph by the sight before him. For, just as Judy's limp form met the ground, the sweet little bunny that Joseph had almost come to see as a mother crumbled into dust, a final sigh escaping her lips before she vanished into nothingness.
Time seemed to resume its normal pace the moment that Judy turned to ash on the ground. Nick and his son stared in shock at the spot where Judy had just been as even the ashes she had left seemed to fade from existence. The two were only broken from their horrified stupor by the sudden sound of a car crashing into the hot chocolate stand in front of them.
Joseph numbly lifted his eyes to the pile of splintered wood that the vehicle had left, expecting to hear screams of fright and see mammals running away from the scene. What he saw, however, was a million times more terrifying, even in his shell-shocked state. "What the…" the kit murmured, his voice catching in his throat as he beheld the horror that was unfolding around him.
Everywhere he looked, the mammals that moments ago had been going about their day on the busy streets of Savannah Central were falling silently to the ground, each of them disintegrating into a cloud of ashes, swiftly erased from his vision by a hot, dry wind that blew through the city like a gust out of hell. Joseph slowly began to turn around, looking at the silent carnage as mammal after mammal turned to dust. He could smell something burning, and saw that the sky was beginning to darken with black clouds of smoke and ash, but he couldn't tell where from. He caught the gaze of a pretty young skunk girl in torn blue-jeans and a purple jacket, her crystal blue eyes asking for help as she, too, crumbled to the ground and faded into nothing.
"Nick," Joseph choked out through the heavy air and his own tears, "Nick, what's happen-" His question was cut short, however, as he finally turned to meet his father's eyes...and saw that the left side of Nick's face was slowly beginning to turn to ash.
"Joseph…" Nick said tiredly, tears seeping from his eyes as he stretched out his fading arms to his son. The younger fox lunged towards the elder, but, when he tried to wrap his arms around his father, Joseph found only empty space, and the only remnants of what had once been Nicholas Wilde were a fading cloud of dust.
"NIIIIIIIIIICK!" Joseph screamed at the top of his lungs, his shock finally giving way to full-blown panic. "NICK, NO, COME BACK!" He fell to his knees, paws frantically grasping at the fading particles that had been his father as if he could put him back together again. "Dad, please, NO!"
Knowing that there was nothing that he could do, that his family was gone, that he had failed them just like he had failed Wolford, just like he had failed at everything else in his miserable, hellish life, Joseph slammed his fist into the concrete so hard that he felt the bones in his paw shatter. He barely registered the pain as he threw back his head and screamed wordlessly into the sky, hot, angry tears flowing from his amber eyes to cut through the ash settling into his fur.
Just when Joseph was sure that his heart would shatter from grief and he would crumble into nothing just like the rest of the world seemingly had, Joseph heard a voice like thunder boom out of nowhere and everywhere at once, the sound reverberating through his skull and bones and heart and soul so forcefully that he clamped his paws over his ears in an effort to keep from being completely deafened. The gesture was futile, however, as the voice seemed to be inside of him as much as out.
In time, the voice intoned, monstrously loud and menacing, but simultaneously deep and calm, you will know what it's like to lose. To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail all the same…
"This isn't real," Joseph whimpered to himself, his eyes still clamped shut in fear. "It can't be real. It's a dream, I'm dreaming. I...I have to wake up...it's a nightmare, it isn't real, it can't be…"
Oh, but it is real, Joseph, the bodiless voice said to him sadistically, the air around him becoming hotter and drier with every word. All that you've ever seen or known is nothing but a shadow, an illusion. This is your reality.
When the kit finally opened his burning eyes, he found that he was no longer kneeling on the sidewalk in Savannah Central, but rather on a grassy hill on the other side of the bay, looking towards the city of Zootopia splayed out before him in all its shining glory. Off to the west, just where the sun was beginning to set, Joseph saw what looked like a crimson line of fire and blood, stretching from the ground to the sky, sweep across the Zootopian landscape, swallowing everything in its path. Everywhere the red line passed, the buildings and trees and cars and street lamps remained, but now they were all decrepit, blackened, burning, the skyscrapers belching black smoke into the sky. The line continued to sweep over everything in his field of vision, consuming the gleaming, idyllic world he had come to love and revealing a smoldering ruin of dust and ashes. Half of the buildings of Zootopia had crumbled into rubble, and the rest were on fire, clouds of putrid smoke pouring forth from them and filling the sky, completely blotting out the sun. When the line had finally finished its circuit around the world he knew, Joseph saw that, all around him, everything was burning.
This is your reality, Joseph, repeated the demonic voice from nowhere. Reality is often disappointing, isn't it? You thought you had walked into heaven, and you have turned it into hell.
"No!" Joseph cried out in despair, his paws clutching wildly at his skull in panic. "That's not me! It wasn't me! I-I couldn't-"
It doesn't matter if you could or not, the voice told him. Little fox, it's a simple calculus. Basic cause and effect. Look at your life, your legacy, and what do you find? Fire and blood, dust and ashes. Look at yourself and know the truth: that everything you touch dies. Wherever you go, death and destruction will inevitably follow. Everything you love burns down to ashes. This is your life, your reality, your destiny. I am your destiny.
"NO!" Joseph screamed, his voice shrill with fear and sorrow, his breath torn by ragged sobs as he tried to breathe the toxic air of the burning world. "Th-th-th-that's not true! That's not me, that's not my life-"
YES IT IS! the voice roared at him, so loud that Joseph could swear he felt his brain burst and his bones shatter as the infinite sound reverberated through him and down into the cracked, scorched earth below. You know it to be true, in your heart, in your wretched, broken soul. It doesn't matter what you do, Joseph. Dread it, run from it...destiny still arrives. Sooner or later, everything burns. You cannot escape it...you cannot escape me. I am fire, little one. I am death. I am...inevitable.
The terrified fox was about to make another whimpering reply to the voice, but he never got the chance. Before his lips could form any words of defiance or rebuttal, another voice spoke out of the clouds of blood and dust around him-a voice like a tinkling bell, like a spring of fresh water, like a breeze of purest air. The voice that had told him the exact opposite of everything the darkness had just stated, the voice that had asked him to stay. The voice of his angel.
"Joey?" Jamie said from behind him, her voice weak and frightened. The fox immediately wheeled toward her, and saw that she was standing on the burnt grass of the hill just a few feet away from him. The beautiful bunny seemed untouched by the ashes that pervaded the air, her caramel fur as pure and spotless as it had been on the night he first held her in his arms. Her family pendant gleamed at her throat, the amber stone within burning almost as brightly as the fires that had consumed Zootopia, and the only sign that she had been touched at all by the destruction around them was the thin line of scarlet blood and black ashes on the hem of her flowing gossamer wedding gown.
"Jamie," the fox finally sobbed out, his soul simultaneously filled with joy that she was here, and worry at the frightened look on her face. He did his best to leap up from the ground, but his limbs felt like lead as he stretched his arms out towards the girl he loved more than anything in the universe. He felt fresh tears beginning to flow from his eyes as he made his way towards her, burning like acid as they flowed down his cheeks. "Baby, sweetie, are you okay? Are you hurt? Jamie, I-"
"Joey," the rabbit interrupted him, her voice pinched in pain and worry. Jamie took a shaking step towards him, her perfect paws coming to rest on her abdomen as though she had a sudden stomach ache. "I...I don't feel so good…" She stumbled a tiny bit, and Joseph's heart dropped straight through his stomach and down into the earth as he saw a tiny flake of ash drift from the tip of Jamie's ear.
"Buttercup," Joseph choked out, the word barely intelligible. He stretched out his arms to his bunny as they approached each other, his heart hurting more than he ever thought it could as more and more flecks of dust began to trail from Jamie's body. "Jamie, it's...it's okay," he said, knowing it was a lie. "You...you're alright, baby…"
"I don't...I don't know what's happening…" Jamie muttered as she stumbled forward, directly into the waiting embrace of her fox. Her gentle, perfect paws clutched at him like a lifeline, her arms wrapped as tightly around him as they had been on the night of the storm. A ragged sob tore itself from the bunny's chest as she began to weep, burying her muzzle in her boyfriend's shoulder as she continued to fade away. "I don't wanna go," she said tearfully, the gentle pressure of Joseph's paws on her back doing little to calm the panic in her voice. "I don't wanna go, Joey, please…"
"Jamie," whispered Joseph, doing his best to be calm for her, trying with all his might to be strong. His perfect bunny went limp in his arms, and he slowly lowered the both of them to the ground so that she was sitting in his lap, the fox's tender embrace the only world she knew. "It's okay, baby. It's okay. You...you're gonna be alright…"
"Joey, please," Jamie cried out to him in anguish, her paws loosening their grip on his shoulders as they began to crumble to ashes. "Joey, I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go-"
"I'm right here, baby," Joseph crooned to her, allowing his one true love to lay down in his arms as he cradled her. A trembling, black-furred paw gently stroked her caramel cheek, the pad of his thumb brushing away the tears that tore at his heart like knives. "I'm right here, and I'm not gonna leave you. I p-p-p-promised, remember? I p-promised you I'd s-s-stay. Always." The heartbroken mammal looked deep into the eyes of the rabbit he loved, and saw the unthinkable shining in them-love. He let out a sob and leaned down to press his lips to Jamie's in a final, loving kiss. "I love you, Jamie," he told her.
"J-Joey…" she said, her voice quiet and still as her arms and shoulders turned to dust. Her sky-blue eyes met his own one last time, and they held all the love he could ever want or need. "I'm sorry," Jamie whispered to her fox. "I'm sorry…"
And then, with those words on her lips and her eyes locked on Joseph's, Jamie faded into ashes in his arms, the pieces of what had been his entire universe blowing away in the hot wind as the golden pendant she had worn slowly fell towards his paws. There was a sound like a whisper of breath, and Jamie Hopps was gone.
For what seemed like an eternity of agonizing numbness, Joseph knelt in the middle of the apocalypse and watched that amulet fall. Fire danced within the orange stone, brighter than the sun, and when the gem met his paw, Joseph felt the flames surge straight into his soul.
Every piece of Joseph's being ignited in an instant, the heat of a thousand dying stars searing every particle of his body, every facet of his soul. Barely able to think through his despair and unable to scream through the flames, Joseph closed his fist around the gem in his paw, and he let himself burn.
The breath that the young fox sucked in as he jerked upright in his bed felt like a shard of ice in his chest after the fire of the nightmare. He tore his paws out from underneath the blankets, gasping for air as he examined them, finally concluding that he was not burning alive. Casting his eyes around the nearly pitch-black bedroom, Joseph could see that everything was exactly as it should be-no fire, no ash, no blood, no death. He let out a groan as he continued to pant heavily, the agony of the dream still fresh in his chest as he threw off the blankets and made his way to the kitchen sink. His mouth felt like it had been stuffed full of sand, and he could tell that he was probably dehydrated.
After his fifth glass of icy water, Joseph finally let himself drag in a long, shaking breath. "Oh, god…" he muttered quietly through silent tears as he rested his paws on the edge of the sink. "Oh, God, help me…" He was so focused on trying to drive the memory of his nightmare from his mind that he didn't notice the sound of padded paws on the floor behind him.
"Joseph?" Nick said quietly from the shadowy doorway, his voice concerned.
The younger fox immediately threw a glance over his shoulder at the sound, his amber eyes briefly meeting the green ones of his adopted father. "Hey, Nick," he replied, the words coming out as more of a groan than he had meant them to. He passed a weary paw over his face as he turned around to face the elder fox. He was wearing his usual nightly attire-basketball shorts and an old t-shirt, a style that Joseph had come to adopt for himself. "Wha-what are you doing up? I...I didn't wake you, did I? Or-or Judy?"
"No, I just had to go to the bathroom and I saw the kitchen light on," Nick responded. "And Carrots is pretty much dead to the world after today. Had a little too much wine tonight after hearing about that bison. What about you? You okay, buddy?"
"Yeah," Joseph lied, crossing his arms over his chest in an attempt to hide the tremors going through his paws. Though he had probably chugged nearly a gallon of water at this point, his mouth still felt like a desert and his heart, while having slowed down a bit, was still thumping erratically. "Why do you ask?"
"Well," said Nick, doing his best to choose his words carefully so as not to make Joseph uncomfortable, "you're up at two in the morning, you asked if you woke me up even though you usually make about as much noise as a shadow, and...well, I may not have your nose, Joe, but I know what fear smells like." The older vulpine laid a tender paw on the shoulder of his son, an expression of genuine care and concern on his face. "Did you have another nightmare?" he asked quietly.
Joseph swallowed thickly at the question, closing his eyes for a moment before giving a terse nod. "Yeah," he told Nick, hoping it could be left at that.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"No," the kit replied immediately, the answer sharper than he had meant it to be. He shook his head, trying to cast the image of his family crumbling to dust from his mind as he pinched the bridge of his snout. "I just...I just want to forget it, Nick. I don't want to talk about it. Ever."
"Joseph," Nick said tenderly, placing his free paw on Joseph's other shoulder, "c'mon, you can talk to me. You know you don't have to be ashamed of whatev-"
"I'm not ashamed of it," Joseph very nearly growled out through gritted teeth, his eyes still clamped shut. He could feel sobs building in his chest as the still-fresh feelings of the nightmare were called to the forefront of his mind. "I don't want to remember it, Nick. I just...I just wanna go back to bed, okay? We've gotta be up early to get on the train to Bunnyburrow anyway." He moved towards the door without meeting Nick's eyes, hoping that the excuse of needing to rest before their Thanksgiving trip would quell any of his father's worries. He swiftly made his way back to his bedroom, but Nick was right on his heels. The kit was about to throw back the covers of his bed again when Nick stopped him, grabbing his left arm in a firm grip.
"Joseph Nicholas Wilde," the reynard said, his voice catching just a little as he spun the kit around to face him. It was still hard for him to believe that Joseph had chosen to name himself after him. "I am your father, okay? You can talk to me about anything. This is obviously bothering you, and we both know that bottling up pain never leads anywhere good."
"Please don't," Joseph said softly, his voice finally cracking at the way that Nick looked at him, those big green eyes full of nothing but love and concern. "Please don't make me talk about it, Nick. Please d-d-don't make me remember…"
"Joey," Nick said lovingly, using the pet name that was usually reserved for Jamie, "it was just a dream, buddy, okay? It's not real. I'm right here-"
"But you weren't," the kit suddenly croaked out, tears springing from his eyes. "You w-w-w-weren't there b-because you...I dreamt you…" Joseph bowed his head in grief, doing his best to keep the memories away. "I lost you."
"What do you mean, you lost me, buddy?" Nick asked him.
"I dreamt you died!" Joseph cried out. "You and..and Judy, and J-J-J-Jamie, and-everybody just...turned to dust and the world was burning and it was all my f-f-fault…"
Before Nick could reply, his son's knees went out from underneath him and he collapsed into the older fox's arms, his shoulders shaking with sobs. "I LOST MY FAMILY!" the kit practically screamed into Nick's shirt. It was all the older fox could do to keep himself together as he gently guided Joseph towards the bed, keeping a firm grip on his shoulders as he laid both of them down. Nick felt his heart break as he wrapped his arms around his son's trembling frame, tears seeping from his eyes at the words he spoke.
"Oh, god, Nick, please, please don't leave me!" he groaned out in anguish. "Please don't leave me, Nick, please don't leave!"
"I won't," Nick said, trying and failing to keep his voice steady. He hugged the kit tightly to his chest, his trembling lips placing a tender kiss atop his bright orange head. "I'm gonna stay right here, okay, buddy? I love you and I am never ever leaving you." His child's only response was to sob violently into his shirt, his hot tears soaking straight through into Nick's fur as his paws clutched at his father's shoulders. "I'm right here, buddy," Nick crooned. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." Another ragged sob emanated from Joseph's muzzle, followed by a word that made Nick Wilde's heart feel like it was about to explode.
"Daddy," Joseph cried out as he hugged his father, his strong but gentle arms the only comfort he knew. "Daddy, please...please don't leave me, Daddy, I love you...I don't wanna lose you, Dad…"
Within seconds, Nick dissolved into as much of a weeping pile of fur as his own son had, burying his nose in the crook of the younger reynard's neck as though he was just a little child. "You won't, buddy," Nick said shakily. "Dad's right here, Joseph. Dad's right here and I'm not gonna leave. I'm gonna stay right here with you, buddy, okay? As long as you need me." He placed another tearful kiss on his son's brow, one paw pressing the kit close to his heart while the other gently stroked his back in comfort. "I'm with you 'til the end of the line, Joseph. I promise."
For close to half an hour Nick held his son in his arms as his sobs slowly began to diminish into quiet tears, then to sniffles, and finally to the occasional shudder of his shoulders. When both foxes were all cried out, Joseph spoke hoarsely to his father from where he rested in his arms.
"Stay," he begged with a sniffle, the same way that Jamie had once begged him. "Please. I...I don't wanna be alone tonight."
"Of course, I'll stay, buddy," Nick replied lovingly. "I'm never gonna leave you, Joseph. I promise." The kit's only reply was to snuggle up to Nick's chest like a little cub, the sound of his father's heartbeat guiding him gently towards sleep.
A few minutes later, just when Nick was beginning to drift off himself, he heard Joseph's voice speak quietly from beside him. "Hey, Nick?" he asked, his tone almost nervous.
"Yeah, buddy?" the vulpine replied.
"That wasn't...weird earlier, was it?" Joseph inquired vaguely. "When I...when I called you 'daddy'?"
A whisper of laughter escaped Nick's muzzle at the question. "No, Joseph," he replied. "It wasn't weird at all." Another moment passed before Joseph spoke once more.
"Nick," he breathed, "would...would it be okay if, from now on, I...I called you...D-Dad?"
At the question, the older reynard pulled back slightly from the younger so that he could look his son in the eyes, his own brimming with tears yet again as a beaming smile split his face. "Joseph," he said with trembling voice, "there's nothing that would make me happier." The look of absolute joy that crossed Joseph's face at his response was one of the most wonderful things that Nick had ever seen. He leaned down and pressed a final fatherly kiss to Joseph's head, snuggling him tenderly to himself like the child he knew he was inside. "I love you, son," Nick said, his words barely a whisper.
"Love you too, Dad," Joseph replied, all the horror of his nightmare gone as the gentle rise and fall of his dad's chest lulled him into a dreamless slumber.
