I know nothing about football so I'm sorry the one I wrote in this lacks details! Also, there's dialogue, I hope it's alright!
Anyways, one written a nearly 3000 word chapter I can only hope you will enjoy! Really, I'm not sure about this one but I'm putting it up!
Oh this lacks revising...
Alright... _
Chapter 27: Confessions
The silver bleachers outlining the football fields are teeming with life, a buzzing energy runs through the air as the collected voices roar with anticipation. I am at the first football game of the year now that spring has commenced. After convincing from Annie I had agreed to come watch. Maybe I'm not sure of my decision now but I can't back out. I've never been to one of these games in the time I've been in this school and besides, I'm curious and would like to see Peeta play. Annie tells me she sometimes sees Peeta and Finnick practice after school while she's at swim practice, she tells me they're good.
It's dark out, the stars have disappeared due to the lights trained all over the pedicured grass of the field. Everyone's shouts and screams mingle together when the teams come out.
My eyes search through the players a bit before they land on a blonde mop of hair. Peeta.
I sigh. His jersey is like when I first saw it months ago before I lost my home. Light blue with white stripes on the sleeves, Mellark is written across the shoulders and a 13 on the back. Mockingjay's is wrote on the chest. Overall I don't miss the way I feel warm at the sight. He's attractive, incredibly so I'll admit to myself with reluctance.
Once the game begins everything goes so fast. I don't even understand the game of football so I'm just watching the scoreboard and am pleased to find his team winning. It's thrilling, kind of anyways, I'm starting to understand why it's liked so much by everyone in the school. Most of the girls seem to be watching to gawk at the boys playing, and maybe I understand that a little. I'm pretty sure Annie's here for Finnick, anytime something happens she will either cheer or boo, most of the time she's on her feet rather than sitting like I. Although I do get a good laugh when she shouts towards the coach for making a bad call.
When Peeta gets the ball and runs toward the goal I find myself standing next to Annie, silently, only because I want to see if he makes it. She's cheering and screaming along with everyone else rooting for our school's team. She nudges me, I'm the only one quiet.
He does, he makes the touchdown and avoids getting tackled, everyone hollers and somehow popcorn is flung through the air. And before I know it I'm cheering with them, my voice isn't distinct with the crowd and it's weird, foreign even, but I feel more like an average person. Annie smiles at me.
As soon as that moment ends I go back to quiet on the stand, my throat buzzes at bit but I'm feeling somewhat better about myself.
I watch closely through the whole game, my eyesight always with Peeta. Every time he takes a hit or falls I hold my breath and wait for him to get back up, he does every time to my relief.
Within an hour the game has the end of the game, the Mockingjay' s have won, secretly, I feel a little jubilant. Quickly after Peeta and Finnick are pulled away by the team and everyone begins to stand and chatters more than before.
Annie stands and tugs me by my arm after her.
"Where are we going?" I ask as we squeeze through all the people on the bleachers.
"There's an after game party we'll see the guys there."
We walk through the streets, we have been for what I'm guessing to be ten minutes since we left. I'm queasy about going to a party but I also want to see Peeta, it's a half want and a half not want thing. In the end, I'd rather not let Annie go alone to the party. Like I even have a decision anyways.
Tonight the moon hangs low in the sky, as if it were waiting for our next move. With most harsh lightning gone from the streets we walk stars slowly make a reappearance as vibrant as ever. Judging by the sky I'd say it's around nine although it feels like eight, the game did go faster then I expected.
"Annie what time is it?" I ask my foot scraping the sidewalk as I speak. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a phone which lights up immediately at her touch. It seems to illuminate her face even more than the streetlights do.
"It's 8:56. Oh and by the way I've been thinking we should get you a phone." She says locking her phone and shoving it back in her pocket before looking to me.
"I don't need a phone, your family's already given me plenty," I argue vehemently shaking my head in disagreement to her request.
"You're a merchant you can have these kind of things now," she purses her lip in annoyance. I know no matter where I live nothing changes, I am not a merchant I'll remain in the seam status and be treated no differently than before because it was where I was born and for the reason my original parents lacked wealth. Although Annie tries to think otherwise but even she knows this.
I sigh and shake my head as we come to a two-story house bouncing with lights, deafening music and ear-pounding noise. At it's sight I feel my body stiffen like it's trying to reject the fact that this place is it but that's most likely where the parties at by the looks of it.
"This is it?" I ask in a little daze of the shock that has claimed me.
"Yep," she chirps sauntering forward.
I'm strongly repelled and urged to leave at the sight. This is no place for a girl like me. Yet I persist with Annie, there's no turning around. Forward, don't turn back, don't give in.
Will I survive this night?
We get into the house people are scattered everywhere, I'd never find Peeta in this mess. I looked to my side where'd Annie go? Everyone was drinking and dancing, the air was hot, nervousness sputtered through me, I was regretting coming here although I was never given the choice. Annie knew what she was coming into why would she bring me here? Clear your thoughts Katniss. Okay, right now my objective is to get out of the center of all these people, I need to get somewhere I can hide in the empty shadows and be overlooked.
Without directing any attention I am able to push myself through groups of people, successfully, I may add, I'd really hate to spill a drink or be in a bad position but those are very possible with all the bodies packed in here. Luckily, I'm able to find a pale yellow wall and I stick by it like a lifeboat in the middle of an ocean crawling with sharks. Alright I have a spot now.
As I stick to the wall I can't help but blame the music for the immense pounding in my skull, I'm disgusted seeing people making out on the walls. What is this, this is what all the teenagers do, this is what they rave about? I think I'll be sick, if this is normal I want nothing to do with it.
A hand lands on my shoulder and I nearly jump out of my skin. I turn and see it's Peeta he's now in a short-sleeved shirt and jeans.
"Come with me?" He asks his voice barely beneath a yell to override the music.
I nod and swiftly follow behind him and he leads me towards the back door of the place. An escape I see it as. He breaks a way through the rough ocean of people and I stay in his tracks. All the while people laugh and congratulate him on his game which he returns with a smile and a thank you.
Finally I trail behind him and amble through the door only to be awaited by the crisp air so inviting and welcome compared to the stale hot air of the house.
He continues to walk to a meadow behind the house the more steps we take and the put between the house and party I feel myself relax. We cross over a large hill and he finally stops behind it before plopping into the lush grass. I follow his suit before tucking my legs beneath me and putting my hands to the side to dangle in the grass. It's soft and earthy beneath my fingertips, small heads of new yellow dandelions spring up around us and the wind carries around the scent of honeysuckle through the land. I'd imagine there's more deeper out. This seems picture perfect our surroundings make the party seem like nothing but a bad dream.
"I guess you can say I don't like parties although it seems Finnick has to drag me to every single one," he murmurs distantly his voice combining with the low whistle of the wind and the rustle of the leaves from the trees in walking distance.
"Don't believe for a second that I wanted to be in there either, I was pulled in there by Annie." I say truthfully, it seems we have something in common there.
"Yeah I could tell, you looked like a fish out of water in there," he says smirking at me. I scowl.
My slight agitation dissolves after a few minutes of silence in the wonderland we seemed to have walked into. The curious part of my mind ventures through topics to bring up with Peeta but I quickly cut it off, I always say stupid things.
Well I could congratulate him on the game but it seems everyone already has done so. It seems overused, annoying almost but if he is any bit irritated he does a magnificent job in masking it. He hears it from everyone why would he want to hear it from me anyways. Yes, I won't bother going there it's settled.
When my eyes wander from the ongoing grass surrounding to him I find him still, quiet, peaceful. But with more time I can see something bothering him, something in his mind. He's blank but thoughtful, his jaw still but slightly he moves it a few times to gnash his teeth. Due to the moon hanging from the sky and casting it's faint silver glow over everything in it's wake I can see his eyes. They're so blue like they were pulled from the clear mid-day sky, so beautiful they could be believed to be faux and only contacts. However, I know otherwise they're very real. What irks me is the emotions swimming behind them, it's like any second they could be revealed. What stings is the sadness layered so thickly in them even a blind man could detect it. He looks on the edge of a breaking point, I feel like I should do something but what could I do? Uneasiness claws at me like a dagger slowly pulling it's way through me and lurking in my stomach.
I inch forward and place a hand on his shoulder warmth radiates from him. "Peeta-" I say softly dragging out his name trying to get a reaction or at least try and ease him. I'm horrible at comforting, only now I hope I somehow become better.
It strikes me unusually odd that the boy of smiles and kindness now sits in a pool of his own sadness.
He turns and looks at me ruefully, "hey," he whispers.
"What's on your mind," I ask softly yet kind of bluntly. I flinch I think I've just pushed him the wrong way.
"You wouldn't want to know," he shakes his head his attention taken to a blade of vibrant green grass twirled around his index finger.
"Yes, I do, tell me I can try to understand."
He draws in a shaky breath and I try to pat he shoulder reassuringly bit I feel awkward.
"I...lik-love this one girl but she hardly notices me let alone wants me that way." He says eyes still downcast.
My stomach clenches, I can imagine him with the beautiful blonde with blue eyes, every feature of her porcelain face perfect, like she had walked out of a magazine. Then I remember that heartbreakingly visual dream. How every word and touch sent me into hot mess and his kisses made my heart swell. Scolding myself I push my thoughts back. I'm selfish I don't deserve him and I don't want a relationship. He loves her. When did my mind and my feelings betray me and become my biggest enemy?
Smashing my selfishness and shoving it back I think of a way to console him. Words are my weak point but now I must use them.
"Peeta any girl would want you I'm pretty sure if you just told her she'd take you with open arms." He laughs hollowly and my heart breaks, how could a girl leave him like this she must know what she's doing.
"It won't help," he mumbles almost incoherently and shakes his head a crestfallen look taking his face.
"Try it," I tell him sternly and purse my lips.
"Are you sure about that, would she really want that?" He asks finally removing his eyes from the ground and looking a bit more hopeful than before.
"Postive, now is she at this party?"
He shakes his head. "Sort of. She's not in the house."
"Is she out here, in the front, on the street maybe?" I ask becoming truly curious about this girl.
"No..." He takes a breath and exhales almost nervously. "She's right here."
The wheels in my mind spin. I don't understand what he just said. How could she be right here, I'm the only girl here unless...
It hits me like a ton of bricks. Me. That's not possible.
I'm backing up from him still sitting in the grass, walking feels hopeless like my legs are a thousand pounds of lead. My breathing is rapid and I'm still. Why can't I run?
He crawls closer to me, somehow I back up an inch but he only comes forward two more. "Just please listen." He pleads, I wouldn't listen but I have no choice I can't really move.
"It's you, it's always been you, I know this is sudden but I can't be just friends with you. I've had a crush on you since I was five and I can't stand not being with you, please try to understand. I can love you, I can protect you, I can treat you right, I'll never force you into anything I just want you to give me a chance please."
His palm finds my cheek and he softly caresses it his warmth seeping into my face. Like his touch tries to sway my mind.
"Katniss please don't leave, please let me have a chance, I'm sorry for springing this on you."
"Peeta it'd never work I'm seam that'd cause a social uproar, I'm sorry I didn't know!" I say vehemently, my heart twisting painfully.
"Who cares what they say, they don't own us we can make our own decisions! I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend I just want you to try to look at me in that light and maybe we could be..."
"No it wouldn't work it'd draw to much attention and I'm not looking for a relationship." I say my legs working their way up shakily. It feels like I've been drained of all strength.
"You won't change your mind whatever I tell you?" He whispers his small voice trembling, his eyes are glazed over with tears.
"I can't." I say quietly like anything to loud would break me right now.
"Okay, I understand." He say tearfully and falls into the grass as I walk back cautiously.
The heartbreak shows all over his face as he chokes out a sob, my rejection slams into me full force, I hurt him. A tear slips down my cheek.
"Peeta..." I whimper, I don't know how to fix this.
"It's okay...just g-go," he says so small I fear I might break down like him.
I run through the meadow and away as fast as possible. It seems to be the only thing I'm good at.
Don't kill me this was really hard to write but I have a plan. :'(
