This chapter has been weeks coming (if not months), it seems that every time wanted to finish it and post, something came up. My apologies.
Thanks for all your continued support. :)
This is my first shot at a FanFiction. I DO NOT own the Hunger Games Series. Some lines taken directly from Suzanne Collins' books.
I haven't read many FanFictions either so any theme resemblance to other Hunger Games FanFiction is entirely coincidental.
Chapter 29:
Engaged! Gale is engaged; I have to keep reminding myself of that, because it seems so impossible.
It's the first Sunday after the Harvest Festival celebration- which was hosted by the Capitol this year- and I sit in our spot wondering if he will show. After all that happened on the tour I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't; he has more important priorities now. It would not be the worst thing if he didn't show. That way I wouldn't have to face him. Even if he did show up I don't know what I would say to him. I feel so stupid, so completely blindsided and even a bit betrayed.
I had said I wasn't going to watch the tour; during the games I had felt compelled to watch because Gale's life was in danger, but with high security touring the districts I was not concerned. It was just going to be the same speeches over and over again. Nothing to worry about; I would see him at the Harvest Festival and rally when they returned and we would all pick up where we left off- or at least that what I had naively thought.
On the evening their interview with Caesar was broadcasted, Hazelle invited us over for dinner. Our families hadn't seen as much of each other since they moved into the Victors Village, so I figured we better accept her invitation. It was very strange to be in their now very large house, for despite the few "homey" touches Hazelle added, it still didn't really feel like theirs.
Posy insisted on showing me the room she had all to herself, which was easily half the size of her old house. The boys too had rooms to themselves. Walking down the hallway we passed Gale's room; the door was shut and Posy told me we weren't allowed in. This made me wonder what it was like in there, and why the secrecy. Gale had shared everything with his siblings before so I found it strange he would try to keep them out now. Was it because of all the reminders of his new life, because no doubt everything in there was Capitol made and not of his choosing?
We finally gathered in the kitchen which, in spite of its grand size, was cozy- the heat from the fireplace in the living area having reached all corners of the main floor.
The television was on quiet in the background, as we bustled around preparing food. It reminded me a lot of the Harvest Festival celebrations we usually had in the past, just a simple meal with family and friends.
Every so often I would catch movement on the screen out of the corner of my eye; Caesar, still with his powder blue hair and lips, in a sparkling midnight blue suit, Gale and Madge in exquisite outfits, sitting holding hands, and panoramic views of the audience in the Capitol. No one in the kitchen was paying attention to a word that was being said, it was enough to know Gale and Madge were alive and well.
We were about to sit down to our meal when Rory called out, "Hey!" and turned the volume up on the television set.
What happened next was all a blur it occurred so fast, however there was no mistaking Gale lowering himself down on one knee and taking Madge's hand. He didn't stay in the position long, just long enough to get everyone's attention, and then settled back in his seat. Keeping a firm hold on her hand Gale, very pragmatically asked her to marry him. With no hesitation, Madge said yes. At her acceptance, the crowd erupted into roaring applause and Caesar beamed at them, congratulating the couple with a flare only he could genuinely pull off.
We all sit there staring at the screen, mouths agape, trying to process what we had just witnessed.
They can't take that back, I thought. Whether its real love or not, they have to follow through now. I've really lost him this time. Surprisingly the shock of Gale's declaration does not drudge up feelings of sadness for me, but of anger...hatred. So real and immediate that it chokes me.
I had thought Gale was mine, but he's not. He's hers. He's theirs. This is the closest I've come to hating them all- Madge, Haymitch, even Gale and especially the Capitol.
I should have remained sceptical when Haymitch said he would take care of things on the tour. So this is how he plans to distract Gale from his planning? One minute Haymitch is talking about suppressing an uprising the next he has them engaged! I can only assume this is his doing, or rather I don't want to believe that Gale would actually be harbouring such intense feelings for Madge that he would want to marry her. I thought I knew both of them.
But what does it matter? Either way Gale is no longer mine; he was never meant to be, ever since he volunteered at the reaping. Whether he is Madge's or not he belongs to the Capitol. President Snow won't let him escape this.
It's when I came to this realization that I noticed all eyes had shifted to me. The first person I made eye contact with was Hazelle, whose sympathetic gaze reminds me of the one she gave me after Gale's first interview with Caesar. As if to say, this is not how things should be.
When the time came, and the victors had returned home, I avoided the Harvest Festival celebrations at all costs for I didn't want to bump into them there, especially with so many cameras around. That was a few days ago now, and I haven't heard anything from either of them yet.
I'm so absorbed in my thoughts that I don't hear Gale come up behind me and his deep voice gives me a start, "Can we talk in private?"
Turning, I give him a quizzical look then scan the wide open expanse of woods and fields around us, "More private than this?"
"Yes." He replies firmly.
I have to stifle a laugh, and then I realize that he is dead serious. I know just the place then. Getting to my feet and brushing off the snow I say, "Okay. Follow me; it's going to be quite the hike."
Without any question Gale follows. We trek through the woods, silently for almost two hours. It is a cold and misty walk that requires a lot of energy, but it's the only place I can think of that has no connection to our life. I've never taken Gale there before because of my father, it was our place.
Finally, the roof of the tiny abandoned concrete shack appears in the distance, peeking through the snow covered trees. It's amazing that it is still standing. When we emerge next to the lake Gale can't mask the look surprise on his face. A flood of memories of long ago times with my father come rushing back.
We enter the small, dark, dilapidated structure and I start a fire without saying anything. I putter around to keep busy for I can barely look at him, because I fear that I won't be able to hide my hurt and that my temper will just snap.
Finally Gale speaks, breaking the silence, "Catnip, I need to explain. There are things you have to know."
The use of my nickname sets me off, "What's to explain Gale? I guess congratulations are in order."
"Would you just listen for a second?" He almost sounds like he is begging.
Crossing my arms across my chest, I stand ready to hear what he has to say. And talk he does, but it is nothing that I don't already know- about the country's reaction to their victory, the Capitol's fury and the possibility of a large scale uprising. Haymitch must finally have filled him in a bit. Despite my annoyance, I don't interrupt. It is only when he begins to talk of the visits to the Districts that I perk up.
"It's not like here Katniss. In the other Districts, especially in 11, 8, 4, and 3, the Peacekeepers are ruthless and it's obvious the people have had enough."
There he goes again.
"But did you see anything?" I ask unconvinced, remembering the photo in the paper, of the Peacekeepers escorting the workers into the factory in District 8.
Gale raises his voice, "I didn't have to! It was there under the surface! The desperation, the fury- both were present in the crowds that gathered to see us. It was like we meant something more to them," Its then that I see the passion flicker up in his eyes, like a flame. And when he speaks his voice reflects that awe and excitement. "They weren't looking to us because we were Hunger Games Victors; they cheered for us, but for a different reason. It's like they were finally hopeful; as if we had inspired them or something."
I can hear the excitement growing with each word, and can see the spark take in his eye- the fire within him ready to be set ablaze.
Gale continues, "And what confirmed it all were the Peacekeeper's reactions. That's why I know now for certain that rebelling is the right choice. We made an impression... this can actually happen Katniss!"
You made an impression alright, not just on the people but on Snow, and that's not a good thing...
"I believe you, but what I don't understand now is how you went from looking for traces of an uprising on the tour to becoming engaged to Madge? How does that fit into your whole plan?" I'm surprised at how easily I brought that up.
Gale gives a knowing but sad nod. When his gray eyes connect with mine the fire has been extinguished and replaced by grief, "I had to," Gale grows quiet. "President Snow gave me no choice."
What does he mean no choice?
I can't keep from sounding utterly confused and annoyed, "If you wanted to rebel against him then why did you do this to appease him?"
"Because he threatened to kill you!" Gale blurts out.
"Me?!" Out of all the reasons Gale could have possibly had, I was not anticipating this one.
"Yes you," he says weakly, the previous confidence in his voice gone. "And though he didn't say specifically, I'm assuming our families too. It's no surprise that he doesn't like it when people get away with thwarting his authority."
Its then that he tells me about Snow's visit before the tour. It is from that visit that Gale truly learned of the effect his actions during the Games had and the unrest it has caused. After the threat was made, the need to keep up appearances was stressed, to keep the people at bay. To appear the loving couple, not the rebelling victors. The implications of it all hit me hard. It makes sense now; I remember the curious black car leaving the Victors Village before the others arrived and then Gale running to me. His babbling had been a warning... he was making sure I was alright. He did the very thing he swore he wouldn't to protect me.
Gale takes hold of my shoulders, with a grasp that is both firm and gentle. I feel so small, so childlike.
"Please tell me you understand? So, I didn't see what you wanted me to see, I know that. But whether I saw anything in the Districts or not, Snow coming to talk to me was proof enough. From that moment on there were two things I needed to do on that tour."
"Oh," Its lame, but that is the only thing I can think to say.
As if he knew what I had been thinking, Gale answers my unspoken question by raising his voice some to make sure I get the point, "The engagement wasn't my idea you know! I hated the idea of appeasing Snow, but it was worth a shot. If it hadn't been for the threat I wouldn't have done it. This way, I figured if he was convinced then it would be a small price to pay and I would know that those most important to me would be safe. If he wasn't convinced, then it would motive me more."
"What about Madge? You're using her."
"She knows," he says in a very matter of fact way. "She agreed; her family is at stake too."
I never thought of that...Madge's family being affected. Her situation was so rare to begin with and she had always played by the rules. Though I suppose so, make an example of the Mayor and the rest of the District will fall into line.
"And..?"
"And, what?"
"Did it work?" I ask, a lump in my throat in anticipation. But I already know the answer by the look on his face.
"No."
A part of me dare not ask, but I'm too curious, "But why me?"
Gale actually blushes; dropping his hold on me he nervously rubs the back of his neck, "Snow knows about the kiss."
This is the first time either one of us has brought up that kiss. I'm also struck by another thought, that's why Gale wanted to talk in private. If Snow found out about our kiss at the Meadow, then our conversation would not have been safe there.
Changing the subject, Gale says, "Though it's more dangerous, I'm actually relieved Snow wasn't convinced after all that. There doesn't need to be an act anymore and I can move on to the uprising. I can take action and get real results."
"So it was all just an act, you and Madge?" I hate how insecure I sound.
"Of course! I like Madge and I respect her and want to protect her, but I could never marry her. Do you know why?"
I shake my head, "Why?"
Gale steps forward and takes my face in his hands, pressing his forehead to mine. He sounds so sure, so confident when he says, "Because I love you."
The world seemed to still with that handful of words. My heart and mind both race to come up with a response. Though I'm shocked and terrified by those words, I accept them- like I expected them, like I wanted to hear them. In my mind I have been claiming him as mine after all. At the same time though, I can't deal with them, and what they imply. What am I suppose to say to that?
I know I love him.
Maybe I was jealous.
Then why don't I feel anything real and urgent back?
Why did I think I would?
Gale wraps me in his arms, heat radiating from him and I gladly welcome it. At this moment he is both the cause of and comfort for my distress. The longer I think, the more painful the realization is. Not here, not now... there are so many things in the way, and maybe they are there for a reason.
I leave his declaration hanging and never give the answer he no doubt expects, remaining silent for longer than is comfortable.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you the whole tour," Gale whispers in my ear, breaking the silence.
I desperately wish I could say the same, but my mind was occupied by other things during the tour; other people, the first who come to mind are my mother and Prim, and followed closely by Peeta. I can never shake my connection to Peeta, nor do I want to.
Looking up into Gale's eyes I see anticipation; he is waiting for me to tell him I love him back.
Taking a deep breath I finally say, "If things were different..."
I feel Gale's hold on me loosen as he draws away from me in disappointment. I instantly miss his warmth.
"If things were different, we wouldn't be in this situation. None of us would be." I know his words have a double meaning. He talks of us, but without the same affection. I think he also talks of the whole of Panem too. He's tense and I can see the anger and frustration seeping back in. He knows I care for him; it's the Capitol he blames for my hesitance.
Gale paces the floor in front of the fireplace, "This is why we have to do something. If Snow didn't buy the engagement, the rebel districts probably won't have either. As soon as possible I plan to talk to the guys in the mines, see if we can start something before the next Games."
Just like that he's back to talking of rebellions and uprisings. Lost opportunities are what drive him.
"It's happening I know it is. I can feel it, so why not here too?"
Wrapping my arms around myself I ask, "But if the Peacekeepers are as harsh as you say, can we risk having that happen here?"
He stops in his tracks, "It's a risk we have to take. For them. For us."
His enthusiasm frightens me. "What about staying safe?" I say fiercely, "What about our family's safety? Have you figured that into your plans?"
"Safe? Safe to what? Starve? Work like slaves? Wait to see who of our friends and family will be reaped next?"
I understand what he means and I hate how torn I am. I've always trusted Gale, when did that change and why am I questioning him?
But I can't help it, "You'd purposefully be putting them in harm's way. Did you ever stop to consider how starting an uprising here at home could affect them?"
"Katniss, we have to try. We finally have the opportunity. We're no longer two kids hiding, cursing the Capitol in secret."
I sigh, "You're not giving up on this plan of yours are you?"
"Not a chance," Gale deep voice is resolute.
I have a decision to make. I didn't respond to his declaration of love, and I can't bear to see that disappointment on his face again. I don't know why in the past few minutes I've started to change my mind about Gale's uprising... perhaps because it is more personal now. My family is at stake, and so is Gale's. Maybe it's so I can keep an eye on him, mainly I think it's because deep down I know something needs to be done.
"Then I'll help."
Gale actually looks startled, "You will?!"
I barely finish nodding, when I feel Gale lift me off my feet and spin me around. When my feet finally touch the solid ground again he kisses my forehead.
There is a huge grin on his face as he says, "We can do this together! I know we can!"
By the time we reach the Meadow it is late afternoon, and the sky is starting to darken. On our hike back we stop to check Gale's snares and hunt a little. It is harder to hunt and forage with the cold and snow, but we hit the jackpot with a wild turkey. We stop by the Hob and trade the rest but we both know that the best price for the turkey will come from Head Peacekeeper, Cray.
We walk into town side by side, partly to keep warm in the biting cold air, mainly to mask the sight of the turkey Gale carries. Not that there is anything to really worry about, Cray knows we hunt and many of the Peacekeepers are regular customers, but ever since the introduction of new Peacekeepers we have tried to be a little more discreet.
Town doesn't look attractive in the winter; the coal dust covers the snow making everything dirty. I smile anyway because its home. Every winter it looks the same and that much never changes.
We are at the edge of the square when we bump into Thom, and Gale's other friend Bristel. They are covered in soot, headed home after another long shift in the mines. I can tell they are exhausted by the way they walk, shoulders slumped, feet dragging. These boys look much aged since I saw them last, before they left school. They've lost their spark- they're too young for that. They perk up when they talk to Gale, and I see glimpses of the animated boys they still are.
Feeling left out of their conversation, I shift my feet back and forth anxious to get to Cray's before dark.
I then hear Gale say to Thom and Bristel, "Hey, I actually wanted to talk to you guys about something. It's an idea I have. I'll walk back with you."
He turns to me and asks, "You okay from here?"
I glance across the square, to where Cray's house is tucked, "I think it'll be fine, it's not far to go. Hand it over."
I give Gale a small smile as he places the turkey in my hands. It is heavier than I anticipated but not unbearable considering the distance.
We part ways and I make my way across the square.
There's something different about the square as I walk through; I can't exactly place it, but something is different. It's quiet, even for a Sunday.
I see Peeta on the porch of the bakery and wave. I will go see him after.
Though he waves back I notice he frowns at the dead bird in my hands.
I walk up to Cray's house and knock on the door, as I've done so many times before.
There's no answer, so I knock again. I'm about to leave when the door opens. I look up and am met by a pair of sinister back eyes. It's not old Cray though. It's another man, a bit younger, more muscular, in a Head Peacekeepers uniform, but much more threatening- probably how a Head Peacekeeper is suppose to look.
"What is this!?" a harsh voice growls. It only takes a moment for him to observe the turkey. Before I have the chance to react he grabs me roughly by the arm, and drags me towards the square.
"You're under arrest!" the man barks.
A knot forms in my stomach as panic wells up inside me. What could I possibly say to defend myself? The evidence of my poaching is hanging from my frozen fingers.
"KATNISS!" I hear Peeta yell in the distance.
A scream slices through the air as I feel myself falling to the ground. I don't remember screaming but I know it was my voice I heard. The breath gets knocked out of me on impact, the rocks scrape against my face, and the cold ground instantly seeps in.
As soon as I can I scramble to my feet, only to have him motion to his squad to assist. I feel a strong hand grab me. I struggle until I realize it is not restraining me but supporting me. Glancing quickly I see that it is Darius. I see both sorrow and pity in his eyes.
The commotion has caused a crowd to gather relatively quickly, of people emerging from their homes and shops. All the faces are a blur but I spot movement at the back of the crowd.
The man addresses the crowd, with an odd accent, most likely from the Capitol, "This citizen has committed a crime against the Capitol! She has been found guilty of poaching," Glaring down at me he asks, "How do you plead girl?"
I glare back up at him, but say nothing.
"I said how do you plead?" He gets right in my face, forcing my response.
I can't fight this. So I take a deep breath and manage to rasp out, "Guilty."
A murmur goes through the crowd.
"Do you know what your punishment shall be?" he asks unsympathetically.
I don't respond. My fear is all consuming, I am trembling on the inside- ready to vomit- but I will not give this man the satisfaction of seeing it.
"Answer me!" a hit across my face by a hard object knocks me to the ground again. "Or you will be further punished for you insolence," he threatens.
"No," I weakly answer. That is the truth for methods of corporal punishment have been long out of practice here in District 12. I have no clue what the punishment for poaching off Capitol land is.
"You shall be sentenced to an immediate whipping," He speaks with finality that only something in total authority can give.
My heart drops.
The crowd is silent, not a word of protest. They are as terrified as I am.
"KATNISS!" I hear Peeta call my name again, his voice sounds strained and panicked. I can tell he is closer, but I can't see him. I wish he wasn't going to witness this- at least Prim isn't here.
Behind this man I see his squad of Peacekeepers, all looking as horrified as the crowd. I briefly make eye contact with Darius before the whip comes down.
I grit my teeth in anticipation.
Within seconds I feel the harsh sting... and another.
And then I black out.
