...wherein Sarah struggles to maintain the borders between her world and Chuck's (continuation)...

Canon Reference: Episode 113 ("Marlin")

Contents: Two chapters (the first is more like several mini-chapters similarly themed under the umbrella of Ch 85: Miscalculations); 6,800 and 3,700 words in length, respectively

A/N: I considered multiple abandoned approaches to Marlin, one with an extended backstory for "Lizzie" only hinted at here. I didn't want to get caught up in a deconstruction of every scene (as I tend to do) so hopefully this works. I've always thought that in this episode, externally at least, Sarah seems strangely accepting of Chuck's potential incarceration so keep the mentality of the previous chapter in mind. For the same reason, I'll also be sticking almost entirely to her POV and ended up collapsing large portions because it got a bit redundant otherwise.

Disclaimers/Easter Eggs: The author has made no profit or derived any other material benefit from this work. No ownership or claim to CHUCK or Tron is asserted or implied. Additionally, no ownership of any Nirvana song or any song by Paul McCartney and Wings (or Guns N Roses, if you're not old enough to remember the original / don't listen to classic rock radio), the movie Eraser, or any characters of The Tick: The Animated Series is asserted or implied.

The title of Ch 86 is a slight modification to a version of a Bible verse, taking it a bit farther from its original meaning. Bonus points (award yourself one of Tom Sawyer's blue Bible Study tickets) if you recognize it without Google.

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Part XXIX: Between Two Worlds (Part 2 of 2)


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085: Miscalculations

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Marriott Hotel, Downtown Los Angeles; Monday, April 7, 2008; 12:45 am

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As its doors finally opened after an interminable few seconds, Sarah couldn't believe she was using the same elevator as the first night.

When, as part of mission reconnaissance, she had gone on a date with a seemingly kind, honest, intelligent, sweet, funny, cute young man only to find out that he - contrary to absolutely everything she had ever been conditioned to believe, suspect, or assume - actually was all of those things.

Sarah pressed the button for the highest floor and smiled despite herself, and despite the situation, when the elevator doors closed and she realized right away that the muzak in the elevator was actually a Nirvana song.

She would never have known that without having met Chuck Bartowski.

With nothing else to do but wait, Sarah leaned against the back wall and prayed no other occupants of the hotel would interrupt her upward progress.

She hated being still. Unmoving. Paralyzed with nothing to do but think. Everything slowed down when there was no need to act. In an entirely different fashion than the way they slowed down when there was a need to act. Without action, without violence, her thoughts were free to weave their way through her haunted mind.

DING

The sound punctuated the change as the digital number on the wall was incrementing upward. The number may be increasing but really it was just beginning its countdown to a rooftop where she might find that the man she had grown to depend on in so many ways had vanished.

The hotel was only fourteen stories tall but every high-rise in Los Angeles was required by law to have a helipad for emergency purposes. This one, near the highway, apparently had good sight lines for rapid landing and take off. Perfect for an extraction. That was why her call for air evac led her here the first night, why it had been her first thought and, as Casey confirmed on her way here, why it was chosen tonight.

Never mind that many emergency situations would make landing a helicopter impractical.

Sarah quirked her her mouth at the word her spiraling mind had grasped a hold of. "Never mind". That was the name of the album for the song that was playing in the elevator with an instrumentation that included string instruments and a synthsizer. She had critiqued the misspelling when she had seen it, saying to Chuck, "Nevermind isn't even a word. It doesn't mean anything."

"Its deeply philosophical," Chuck had replied with feigned superiority, "To the enlightened."

She remembered how his face cracked into that heart-melting smile of his and she smacked him playfully in the chest as she often did. Like two kids in a schoolyard.

She wondered if they would ever share a moment like that again.

DING

Sarah thought back to the hanger this morning. Where the guts of the Buy More had been reconstructed at her direction from memory having sought him out amongst those aisles so many times.

Where her heart fell just a little bit more every time another of the twenty-eight bugs - twenty-nine counting the one Chuck had found first - was discovered. She knew what Casey was doing; trying to just slip it into conversation so that he wouldn't have to explicitly say that Chuck was going to be shipped off to secure custody if they didn't contain this threat.

Casey always deflected with sardonic humor. Used it to defuse situations that might be breeding grounds for "lady feelings". She had warned that Chuck wouldn't be able to process the idea if he heard it that way. As it was, Chuck still hadn't quite grasped what Casey was saying since he was so distracted over Ellie's - or, she supposed, it was still technically Devon's - missing ring.

A ring is just a dream of a promise until it is given and accepted.

Even she had been unwilling to accept it - process it - the situation, not the ring - even as she considered how to explain it to Chuck. She tried to ease into it and, naturally, he noticed.

"Say it. Say what you're not saying," Chuck challenged. Demanded almost.

As if it was just the one thing that she wasn't saying.

Of course, Casey couldn't stand not saying anything and spelled it out for him. For both of them really.

Hearing it out loud hit her like a ton of bricks.

DING

Chuck being Chuck, he immediately launched himself into solving the problem. As much to find a diamond ring that he equated to his sister's future as securing his own future. Maybe more so.

How could anyone possibly be so selfless? What wouldn't that man do for someone he loved?

Sarah Walker was trained and conditioned her entire life to be a survivor. To do what was necessary to emerge as the last one standing. The personification of "Live and Let Die"; another pop-culture bastardization of English she wouldn't have known without knowing Chuck. To someone like her, the very idea of such selflessness was absolutely chilling on so many levels.

Before she could even recover from the shock of it all, the emptiness of it, Chuck and Casey were gone. Off to interrogate the Buy More's version of Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Dumber. And yet another opportunity for her to say something - to say anything - to Chuck, to indicate what little of her feelings for him that she could even process, was gone.

At the time, Sarah hadn't considered that might be the last time she ever saw him.

Once Chuck and Casey determined that Jeff and Lester had taken Big Mike's marlin to Chuck's place as some sort of a joke or prank, Sarah had taken a calculated risk and contacted General Beckman directly rather than Director Graham.

Beckman was at least less likely than Graham to grin an "I knew it" grin at her before vindictively ordering Chuck's confinement. But Beckman was no sentimentalist either. As Sarah returned to the Weinerlicious and used the new comms center there to contact the General, it was Beckman - not Graham - who made Sarah's worst fear a reality.

DING

She should have known that forty-eight hours was too long for someone as risk averse as Beckman to maintain her patience. Sarah figured at least they had a few hours while an extraction specialist was deployed not realizing he was already at the Buy More. She figured she had plenty of time when she received a text from Chuck that would have been cryptic to anyone else saying, "Fish last seen with Morgan".

Sarah was puzzled by the follow-up text message she had received from Chuck. "Schwarma Girl?" was all it said.

Sarah wondered if he was grasping at straws and was about to send a teasing message about his spelling of 'shawarma' - knowing he would challenge her - as if the sign in front of Pita Palace was gospel - but really just wanting to joke around with him for possibly the last time.

Then the woman entered just as the picture uploaded to her phone. The woman Chuck had identified. Sarah's worries for Chuck caused just enough inattention for the tiny, thin woman in knee socks to almost get the drop on her.

Sarah Walker, of all people, should have known better than to disregard anyone based on appearances.

DING

Walker remembered Chuck once calling her "Lizzie". It only stood out in her memory because he had described the delivery girl as flirting with Lester. That alone should have been the first warning sign.

Lizzie took advantage of the distraction when the two skaters came in while Walker chose a course of action completely against her instincts and training. When she should have counter-attacked, Sarah instead sacrificed her tactical position to activate the Weinerlicious security cameras.

She took measures so that, in the event that she lost the fight, the identity of the enemy agent would be recorded. She didn't deliberately lose but she had never not fought to win before.

What happened to "Live and Let Die"?

She had plenty of time to regret that in the freezer. As well as wonder why Lizzie had let her live. There were crews already working quietly below her feet and they had sealed off the secret exit in preparation for turning it into an entrance. And there was no way for her to signal them.

A few weeks earlier and she could have exited the freezer easily. It just reminded Walker how close they had been to having a secure location to house Chuck while they assessed and resolved the security breach. A few more weeks and maybe permanent relocation would not have been so high on the list of options at all.

DING

Agent Walker stood straighter in the elevator, her pulse racing. The probability of a hotel guest somewhere on floors eight through thirteen needing to move from to an even higher floor shrinking lower and lower.

She didn't know how Chuck had apparently figured out that Big Mike's marlin was in her freezer or why Casey had let him investigate without accompanying him. Or why Casey still hadn't let Chuck fire a gun. He was completely frazzled. Releasing the magazine instead of releasing the safety. She should have calmly talked him through it but every second delay was time for Lizzie to get further away.

And she was fucking freezing.

But now her blood was boiling.

DING

Still no stops for the elevator and Agent Walker was involuntarily preparing herself for combat. Muscles coiling and her mind clearing. Or trying to. She still couldn't get over all of her missteps.

When Detective Conway came in and found Chuck, she thought at least he would be safe in police custody. She ducked out of sight in the freezer not wanting to further complicate matters.

She had to get Lizzie. Get the receiver. And she couldn't do that, or even tell Casey who the target was, if Conway apprehended her too.

And incapacitating or killing a LAPD detective was not something she wanted to do.

At least then...

DING

Agent Walker thought they had the break they needed until she saw the looks on both Beckman's and Graham's faces. She had worked through Beckman to not tip her hand. Graham sent Longshore.

Under the guise of Detective Conway, he had been lurking among them the whole time while they were chasing their tails to find the receiver.

Maybe if she had gone to Graham, he would have done or said something to tip off his decision.

Or maybe he would have simply yanked Chuck at her first sign of weakness.

DING

Agent Walker had still been laboring under the delusion that Chuck was safe at a police station.

She knew she dropped her mask when Beckman said that Chuck - or rather, "the Intersect" - was no longer her concern. When the penny dropped and Conway was revealed as CIA, her mask shattered completely. At least by her standards. Luckily, Casey covered for her and disconnected the conference.

She chose to blindly trust that Casey would be able to get the right extraction plan from his contacts after he covered for her while she quickly changed clothes behind the counter. Armed only with her backup piece, Sarah headed downtown on a blind guess that it would be by helicopter. And trusted that Casey was still on her side.

She was second guessing that choice. She was second guessing everything.

So she focused on what she could do. What she was best at. And that familiar darkness descended over her as she steeled herself to deal with whatever she found up there on the helipad.

Every fiber of the beautiful woman's body turning to steel with vicious intent.

Hoping what she found was something she could fight rather than emptiness.

DING

Three floors to go and countless regrets.

All the things she should have said and never found the courage to say.

DING

Two to go and a thousand doubts. Questions she had been wrestling with even before Burbank, but especially lately as she traveled the world doing Graham's bidding just like she's always done.

Questions like whether she could live any kind of life other than this as the adrenaline began to surge, charging her system and awakening something horrible and horribly intoxicating inside of her.

DING

One more floor.

A hundred things she could have done differently... today and in her lifetime.

DING

As the elevator doors opened on the top floor, Agent Walker sprinted through them and she took the remaining flight of stairs to the roof two at a time. She was determined that - if he was even here - she was not leaving that roof without Chuck.

She didn't know how she was going to get them out of this but she wasn't... She couldn't...

Agent Sarah Walker shoved through the emergency door to the final stairway to the helipad and The Wild Card Enforcer burst through the other side.

Zero: Execute

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"Longshore!"

Sarah barked his code name at the phony detective to imply some sort of mission involvement or authority that she definitely did not have while she sized up the situation.

Just Longshore on the roof. No evac team yet. If she could just get close enough...

"Is there a problem, Agent Walker?"

Agent Walker? Of course he had been fully briefed. Or had he been fully briefed? He couldn't know about the Intersect, just that Chuck was a valuable intelligence asset. How much had Graham told him to expect in terms of potential resistance? Did Longshore have a "no fail" directive associated with Chuck's extraction? To kill Chuck rather than lose him to an enemy agent? A status Sarah was about to assume if she...

"Sarah, thank God you're here," Chuck broke into the thought process of her tactical assessment. "Listen, I- I don't- I don't want to go yet."

"I... It's okay, Chuck," she lied.

Like many times before, but only since she had arrived in Burbank, the lie stuck in her throat. Lying had been much, much easier before Burbank.

And this was about as far from okay as she could remember a mission being. Things were about to get really nasty for all three of them. She couldn't bear to lie to him and didn't want to reveal her worst self, the creature that lurked inside of her, in front of him so she tried to fall back on a brazen con and turned her attention to Long Shore.

"Agent Casey is tracking the FULCRUM mole. He should have her in custody soon, so we can hold off on the... Chuck transfer for the time being."

Well, that sucked, she thought as she realized she had blown one option. Even Longshore cringed at "Chuck transfer" and fell back to a "by the book" approach.

She knew the protocol as well as he did and he basically quoted it, saying "If there was a change in the operation, I would have been contacted. I have my orders."

So he was a hard case. He'd have to be in this job. At least Longshore had considered her for a moment. But she quickly realized it was him trying to figure out why she was even here.

Sarah tried to reason with him. "We don't have to do this. This is a judgment call. Okay, we can just hold Chuck here until we know for sure."

"His cover was blown. He's gone."

"No!" she blurted out. She wasn't above pleading with him.

"I will take full responsibility. Chuck is my asset; he's my guy." She cut her eyes to Chuck, knowing she had revealed more than she intended, at least like this.

And she knew Chuck heard it in her words too when he visibly gulped.

She turned back to Longshore realizing she was running out of time and running out of options and pleading, "Just... Just give us more time, please."

Longshore had heard more than she intended also. Sarah could almost read the word "Compromised" in his eyes as he assessed her before Chuck distracted him saying, "I'd appreciate it. I really would."

"Please don't do this," Sarah found herself actually begging for just a few more seconds. A few more seconds and the courage to find words she knew would never come. Her throat tightening and eyes burning as something inside her was reduced to a desperation she had never felt... and something else within her but always lurking nearer to the surface, something more familiar, took action to resolve her desperation.

It wasn't even a conscious move. She just slowly gripped the Smith and Wesson at the small of her back. Pausing, ready to draw and ruin Chuck's life in a different way, just on their terms. Or at least her terms.

Shifting her stance and preparing to fight when it seemed her pleas had fallen on deaf ears.

Longshore didn't even see her do it. She didn't know if it was bad positioning on his part or if she had subconsciously shifted to put Chuck was between them so he couldn't see it. Likely the latter.

But Chuck did see her do it.

And when he narrowed his eyes and he shook his head almost imperceptibly, he sucked all of the fight out of her.

Chuck had flashed on Detective Conway - Codename: Longshore - on the ride over and had seen what the Agent was a specialist at. Extracting people, enemies and friendlies. From there, Chuck could see a virtual rolodex of protected witnesses and assets in his mind. Longshore's Intersect file reminded Chuck of Arnold in Eraser. As far as the Intersect was concerned, the guy was legit. He wasn't a friend but he definitely wasn't an enemy and Chuck couldn't let Sarah do that.

Couldn't let her add that weight to her soul. Even for him. Especially for him.

Sarah seemed to understand and, though she still gripped her weapon, she hadn't drawn it and she relaxed her stance to Chuck's obvious relief. There he was, calculating again. Seeing what she intended to do and trying to let her know it was okay. Coming to a realization that there was no way out. At least not if he wasn't going to let her do what she needed to do.

Sarah could see in his face that he had foreseen this ending from the beginning and only wished it had been delayed. Could see that she was worth more to him than a futile, ill-conceived attempt to buy him a few more days of freedom.

She just stared at him in wonder, completely out of ideas. Because the most amazing man she had ever met had surprised her again.

He was trying to save her.

And Sarah now understood what Ilsa had meant about someone's voice - or mere presence - taking the gun from her hand.

"Okay. You've got one minute," Longshore reluctantly permitted with the chopper not yet on site, breaking her from those thoughts. She had never not fought to win.

But Sarah released her grip on her pistol, pressing it back down into the waistband of her pants.

"One minute," Longshore stated again, this time emphasizing it to Chuck with a single finger as Sarah stepped toward Chuck at the center of the helipad, trying to find the words to apologize for how badly she had failed him. Chuck spared her from that too.

"I'm not ready, Sarah. I'm not ready to disappear," he rambled to her trying to put his own thoughts in order.

"No. I know... I know." It was all she could say and so woefully inadequate.

"I need you to talk to Ellie. And to Morgan and my friends, and- and- and- and tell 'em..."

Sarah felt the tightness in her throat and burning in her eyes intensify watching her Chuck struggling with how to say "goodbye".

"I don't know. I... Look, if I'm supposed to be dead, just say something that will make it okay. That will make 'em feel all right."

Sarah tried not to react but she couldn't help but blink the tears back and gulp a little. Because he was right. If Ellie and Morgan were informed that he was dead, not only would he become a non-person - like her - existing at the whim of the dark side of their government, but if dead... even as a cover story... there's no coming back.

"Just make sure they know how much I love 'em," Chuck said, staring into her eyes intensely.

Staring into her soul.

Putting an extra meaning behind his words, a hidden message just for her, as he often did.

He couldn't really mean...

"You can do that, right?" Chuck interrupted her thoughts when he saw that she received, if not understood, his message.

Roger, Wilco, MRAU. She remembered explaining the difference to him. He was relieving her of the obligation of explicitly acknowledging it. Or relieving her of the guilt of not saying it back if she wasn't in the same place yet. Or giving her the option to just nod in agreement. Trying to relieve her of the burden of saying anything. Especially since he couldn't even quite say aloud about how he felt about her.

But she did understand. And she would. She would find a way. Not to make it alright. A world that included Chuck suddenly devoid of him could never be right. Maybe she would just tell them everything. At least Ellie. But she would find a way to make sure the people important to him knew that he loved them.

Maybe even find a way to accept it herself as she searched for a way to find him again.

"Course you can," Chuck reacted to her simple nod. "You're Sarah. You can do anything."

Even now he could make her laugh. Both at herself and at his misplaced faith in her.

Because right now? Right now, she didn't feel like she could do anything.

"And, hey, there's a silver lining to this, too," Chuck's infectious enthusiasm returning to his beautiful face even with the top of his hourglass nearly empty, "...you know, 'cause we're not working together anymore, which means, we can go on a date. You can come by my cell. And we can hang out. And you can tell me who the President is."

She sputtered and almost rolled her eyes. How could this man make her laugh and cry at the same time while their world burned down around them?

"And maybe, uh..." he boldly took her hands gently in his own cuffed-together larger ones and said all he dared to say about everything that had gone too long unspoken between them, "...maybe we can see how we really feel."

How is he holding it together when she can feel her tears building? The Buy More nerd she had so underestimated when she first met trying to hold the Ice Queen's shattering heart together.

He really was the strongest man she had ever known. The strongest man she could imagine.

"Time's up" Longshore called out and Chuck looked over at him reflexively. It was as though Chuck had forgotten Longshore was there in his need to do for her what he had asked her to do for the people he was leaving behind.

To make it okay.

He may even have thought of kissing her but either thought better of it given that they had an audience - likely concerned with work getting back to Graham - or simply didn't want their end to be so bittersweet. Especially if the end was the only beginning - the only moment - they would ever have.

He simply said, "Goodbye, Sarah," and turned to go.

He had done all the talking. Rich with subtext and implications. Relieving her of the burden of stumbling over the wreckage of whatever her feelings were right now. Leaving her with a simple goodbye as even her own preferred "see you later" stuck in her throat.

Because she had always looked forward to seeing him later. To feeling herself come alive a tiny bit more when she did. To him putting her back together when one of her side missions tore her apart. Also dreading the day when there were no more next times. Fearing it would happen before she was a whole enough person to open up to him as he had just done with her, as veiled as it was. But she had to say something.

"Chuck?" she called after him, almost quietly, and he turned back to face her.

She didn't know how, or how long it might take. Or if it was even possible. It was a promise she had no business making. But he brought that kind of hope out in her so she said it anyway with as much of a reassuring smile as she could muster as her tears finally broke free and ran down both cheeks.

"Save you later."

It was as much a question as a promise but she saw a flicker of hope in his small smile and felt the pride of knowing that he believed, whether he was right to do so or not, that she could do anything.

Whether she succeeded or not, she put that there.

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Sarah had been a beat slow when she saw Longshore drop. He fell to his knees, then slumped over. Shot dead but not by her hand.

Sarah felt a strange mix of relief and guilt at her relief even as she pulled and turned her own weapon toward the source of the shot.

Then Lizzie - the fucking Pita Girl - got off a miracle shot that had somehow disarmed her without seriously injuring her. An unarmed Sarah grabbed Chuck and they fled the helipad to the cover of the maze of building machinery on the lower level of the rooftop below the elevated helipad.

Sarah was now looking for ways to get Chuck safely off the roof, take Lizzie out or both when the enemy FULCRUM agent, stalking them now armed with both her own and Sarah's sidearm, began taunting them in a sing-song voice.

"I listened to the receiver," she gleefully taunted.

Both Sarah and Chuck could tell it from her tone and they said it to each other at the same time, "She knows."

"Do you know how many agents are looking for Bryce Larkin?" Lizzie demanded, before asking more quietly, more to herself than to them. "Only one was looking for Tommy Delgado."

Chuck and Sarah looked at each other with their puzzlement on their faces until Lizzie elaborated.

"I should have been with him when he disappeared. We retrieved Larkin together. Packed Larkin off to that butcher in Helsinki together. We did almost everything together. But Tommy said it was safe for me to take another job. Intercepting Larkin on his return trip was going to be a... walk in the park."

Lizzie scoffed at the words as they escaped her mouth and both Sarah and Chuck could tell when her tone changed that her monologuing had gone from professional to personal.

"Nobody cared when a merc like him disappeared. Except for the little girl he saved from the streets from among a hundred thousand girls just like her. Trained me to fight. To kill. To hunt. Well enough to follow the bread crumbs he left for me. Do you know how many of his final locations I had to surveil to finally hit the jackpot? Joining up with FULCRUM just to get those leads to track down what happened to him? Letting those pervs you work with look down my top every day for a month?"

Lizzie realized she was marking herself. That her prey could hear her and circle around to avoid her. She had been going down a rabbit hole thinking about Tommy and where he could have disappeared to these past few months.

The only man who hadn't looked at a starving little girl the way those morons with their video camera had. The way the men who "took care of her" as a little girl had. Thinking only of all the debauched things they could do to her in exchange for just enough food to keep her alive but hungry enough to linger until next time.

She never really knew what he saw in her but Tommy had saved her and taught her the only trade he knew. And when she grew older, he was finally receptive to something more. Maybe more than she had dared to dream lately. But whether that ever happened between them or not, he had saved her. It was time to get back on point and return the favor.

"All this time wasted looking for Bryce Larkin. And all this time the Intersect was here," Lizzie taunted some more. Trying to get one of the two to expose themselves. "Wait till I tell my superiors that. I'll be able to write my ticket. Find Tommy and let the lot of you tear each other apart."

Chuck had heard enough. This Lizzie had them at a disadvantage and, if he was Delgado's protégé, she was good enough to make good on her threats. They didn't have many options.

"Okay, look," he said to Sarah, "What if I surrender, and you run? I mean, I'm going in a cell anyway. What's the difference?"

"Torture," Sarah derailed that idea and marveled at the fact that anyone would even consider sacrificing themselves like that for her.

"Okay, no surrender," Chuck scrambled for another idea but before either he or Sarah could come up with anything, Lizzie began taunting them again.

"I only have one question, Chuck," and Lizzie held her left hand up to catch what little light there was and watch her ring finger sparkle like she had hoped it would on those rare occasions her mentor and lover had looked at her without his vicious mask he showed the rest of the world.

Tonight she would settle for taking that away from someone else.

"...Who's the ring for?"

"She has Ellie's engagement ring!" Chuck exclaimed. Sarah nearly rolled her eyes. Of course that would seem just as important to Chuck as the mortal danger they were in. And the only reason Sarah hadn't called him out on it was the strange twist in her own gut when the Pita Girl mercenary asked him who the ring was for.

As though it was Chuck's to give.

To someone worthy.

Sarah shook off that weirdness. She came up here looking for a fight and now she had a target. She decided to take matters into her own hands and leave such thoughts for later while she did what she did best, telling Chuck, "Try to distract her."

"What?!" he protested as Sarah darted away through the maze of machinery they had already navigated, "How?"

But just the little glimpse of motion Chuck had provided when rising up from cover was enough to get Lizzie back on the scent. He ran and she herded him back to the stairs with a few well-placed shots.

"Chuck, I'm not gonna to go away. Unlike blondie, running off to save her own ass. And to think you were going to give her a rock like this? She must have played you good. CIA? NSA? You can't trust any of them, Chuck. But don't worry, we all get taken in at least that one character-building time. This will be good for you. She's gone. Now its time for you to come with me."

"Okay, okay, look, look, look. You really- You really want to take me in?" Chuck stammered as he looked for any sign of Sarah. Fearing that she had abandoned him and hating that he doubted her even for a second.

"You're going to have to sweeten the deal a little bit for me," Chuck continued to stall as he held his hands up defenselessly staring down the barrel of a gun in each of Lizzie's hands. "Hey, hey, hey, hey. Uh, look. Look, the CIA- they're offering me a nice padded cell, real cush. Can you beat that? I'm a guy who enjoys a a good steam. Can you do- Can you do maybe a steam room or something?"

"I don't think you're really in a position to bargain, Chuck," Lizzie rightly pointed out. "I have two guns. What do you have?"

Chuck smiled back at Lizzie when he deliberately kept from looking directly at the flash of blonde hair rising over the edge of the helipad behind the enemy agent. Lizzie still sensed Sarah's approach and had just begun to turn or she would have never heard an answer to that question.

As Lizzie's eyes widened at the enraged Enforcer charging at her.

Sarah, seeing her stealth approach detected, granted Lizzie the answer to exactly what it was that Chuck had.

Something that made his position not as desperate as it may have seemed.

Conveyed in a single syllable uttered in what could only be considered a growl as Sarah rushed her prey.

"Me."

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Sarah was out of options. Lizzie had been as vicious as her but mindless of their position relative to the edge of the helipad.

Sarah had heard Chuck calling out not to break the ring - the big doofus - and describing this as "serious spy fighting" as it broke down into schoolyard hair pulling. Sarah had almost maneuvered Lizzie into a choke when Lizzie countered, apparently not caring that the momentum of it took them both off the edge of the roof.

Fourteen stories into a dumpster was another miracle shot. Lizzie was clearly highly trained, maybe even knew how to use a parachute, but apparently not as highly trained in free-fall maneuvering as Sarah Walker. Sarah took a few harmless fists to the jaw and an equally ineffective knee or two to the ribs, neither with much steam behind them with no leverage or footing.

Despite that, she kept her single-minded focus on the softest target in sight. Her only offensive maneuver was to tuck and roll her opponent mid-flight such that Lizzie took the brunt of the impact as Sarah's body crushed against Lizzie's.

Whatever it was they landed on, it was relatively soft and neither was knocked out on impact. Sarah remedied that quickly with a well-aimed punch and, looking up to confirm that Casey had secured Chuck, searched the mercenary Bride of Frankenstein turned FULCRUM agent. Lizzie actually had the receiver taped to the small of her back but very little else of any interest.

Sarah put her hands on her knees and breathed for what seemed like the first time all day which only reminded her that she was surrounded by garbage. But before she moved to see about extracting herself and her prisoner from the dumpster she checked Lizzie's hands.

The ring was missing.

Sarah looked around but didn't see any indications of a diamond. Then Lizzie began to stir and Sarah held her down, face first into the garbage while she restrained her arms behind her.

"You win this round, blondie. You're pretty good. But I'll be back and we'll try it again," Lizzie taunted. She was apparently incapable of shutting up even with blood seeping from her mouth and likely internal injuries.

"Doubt it," Sarah taunted back, finally in a position to do so. "I happen to know there's a vacancy at a highly secure lock down facility."

Sarah grinned at that, hoping she had provided a new occupant for Chuck's designated cell. She would make that trade again and again if the opportunity presented itself. Sarah just needed to find something suitable to restrain the enemy agent or she'd have to knock her out again. And waking at all after repeated knockout blows was no certainty.

"Good," Lizzie replied with a chuckle and a groan. "They'll keep me nice and safe as long as I string them along. I know enough about FULCRUM to do it. I'm the golden fucking goose. You guys want my intel on FULCRUM and FULCRUM is going to want to know what I found out that landed me in an interrogation facility."

"Tell it to someone who cares, 'Lizzie'."

Sarah deflated a little. Lizzie was probably right. Maybe she did have information on FULCRUM but, then again, maybe she would be able to tell the wrong people what she had learned before that happened. It was the same underlying issue she had been battling for nearly the forty-eight hours she had originally been given. The security of a nation versus the freedom of one man.

Any Agent could easily see which was more important. They needed Lizzie alive. Sarah decided to hold her captive down with her arms twisted behind her back hard enough to dislocate a shoulder until Casey could help her with detainment.

"You should care, wiener girl. I'll just wait until someone comes to check on me. They'll want to see what I know. They'll probably be checking to see how much I've spilled about their organization."

And that - coupled with her earlier "wait til I tell my superiors" - was the confirmation Sarah needed. Lizzie had overplayed her hand by prematurely confirming that she had not already reported Chuck's identity as the Intersect to anyone.

Right now, besides the information on the receiver, every knowledge of the Intersect recipient resided with the two men making their way down from the roof (and she hoped Casey had the sense to keep Chuck away while they cleared the scene), their own superiors, the man FULCRUM was currently hunting and two women inside this dumpster.

"Or I'll just tell anyone who will listen just how valuable FULCRUM would consider the information that I have. I'll find some guard willing to do something stupid."

She would. Sarah knew she would. They had no idea how deeply FULCRUM had infiltrated government agencies and they would certainly be scouring any detention facilities. A secret doesn't stay a secret long when the number of people who know the secret - or even know there is a secret - increases.

It was a numbers game all around. The number of double agents within their midst was likely increasing. And Lizzie was threatening to tell everyone she encountered that she at least knew something extremely valuable. It only took one easily coerced person to make the two circles meet. And then...

"Either way, wait until I tell them they're looking for the wrong guy. That I know the identity of the real human Inter-"

Sarah Walker let Lizzie's dead body slump down into the dumpster as the retrieval team Casey had dispatched arrived. Sarah had held Lizzie's wrists with her knee and reached around the front of her torso to her shoulder, as though she was going to allow her to stand.

From there, a human neck was such a fragile thing.

Everyone - including her until she had done it the first time - assumed that snapping a neck came with a loud cracking sound but it was really a series of pops as connective tissue gave way and stressed the spinal cord past its limits.

She should have died in the fall anyway.

When they arrived, Sarah signaled the retrieval team to help her with the body after providing the necessary access codes Casey had given her. Two men helped her remove the body and Sarah lifted herself out.

The retrieval team checked Lizzie over and Sarah didn't correct them. She asked for their best tech guy and, when he wandered over to her past the first corpse he had apparently ever seen, Sarah held out the receiver.

"All she had on her was this. I need to see it thoroughly destroyed before you go."

The tech guy said he had a degausser that would do the trick before the team leader objected saying they should have someone take a look before wiping everything out. Sarah pulled a silenced pistol out of the newbie's tactical holster, threw the receiver into the corner where the dumpster met the brick wall, and emptied the pistol into it leaving it more holes than receiver even as it bounced around with each shot.

"Degauss what's left to be sure," she said as she handed the pistol back, butt first, to the more helpful of the two slack-jawed NSA cleaners. "Inform Major Casey when you're done. And clear my brass," she said, nodding at the shell casings now strewn about the alley.

Agent Walker walked away confidently as though she had the authority to do what she had just done. She'd call Casey, make sure Chuck was OK and give Casey a heads up to smooth things over.

The Enforcer hadn't killed Lizzie. Neither had Agent Walker.

Sarah had.

She waited until she got around the building to crouch down and breathe deeply. She thought she was going to be sick even though she knew with absolute certainty she had done the right thing.

Maybe the disk had intel related to FULCRUM on it, maybe it didn't. But it definitely had Chuck's secret on it.

Any Agent could easily see which was more important but Sarah Walker had never been just any Agent.

And now, whatever she was, she wasn't just an Agent.

.


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086: Cast Out But Not Destroyed

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Bartowski / Woodcomb / Bartowski Residence, Echo Park, CA; April 7, 2008 8:05 am

.

Sarah peeked around the window frame to watch as Chuck made his critical delivery to Devon.

A man who had nearly run out of time thinking he could deliver happiness contained in a sparkly rock on a thin band of gold.

Even Sarah's own sarcastic internal monologue couldn't erase the smile from her face.

Just the glowing hope of it was worth a morning spent in a dumpster, still blocked off as a crime scene at Sarah's request through Casey, hunting through the very garbage that had cushioned her fall and saved her life. She was lucky it wasn't full of needles or just the top layer over a pile of bricks but she was the one who had burst the bag that Chuck had sifted through and it had been pretty disgusting.

Sarah had a slightly less disgusting search area. Hers seemed to be restaurant refuse, spoiled food and the like, whereas Chuck's was old takeout food and worse.

Chuck had gone on enough shopping runs for Ellie and returned with feminine hygiene products without batting an eyelash. He knew his sister's preferences and even checked her supply before heading out without being asked. So, when he reacted the way he had in the dumpster, Sarah knew it wasn't a reaction to a tampon still in its wrapper.

She watched him work. His life as he knew it had nearly ended hours before and, instead of dwelling on it, Chuck was focused on retrieving Devon's ring for his proposal to Ellie.

"Are you sure that Lizzie didn't have the ring on her?" he had asked with only a hint of frustration seeping through.

"When they took her away, all she had on her was the receiver," Sarah answered while sifting through some discarded vegetables.

As lies went, Sarah considered it a small one. Sarah had personally searched Lizzie. And the receiver was the only thing she had on her of interest. Sarah wasn't positive that shooting the shit out of it would do the trick but Casey had confirmed that his team had disposed of it properly. Protecting Chuck's identity had been Sarah's chief concern but she had checked for the ring.

The part that was the lie was that they had only taken Lizzie's corpse away. Disposing of it as effectively as they had some mangled electronic device. She had been prepared to make up some story about how Lizzie's neck must have already been damaged by the fall. How knocking her out had snapped what was already cracked. But Chuck had been surprisingly uninterested in Lizzie's welfare, only wondering aloud if she would be a future security risk and being reassured that she would not.

Sarah was glad not to discuss it much. If she told him exactly why Lizzie wouldn't be a future security risk, she was sure that he would notice just how remorseless she was about it. How he was standing in the presence of Graham's Enforcer. On the very site of one of her kills. But you don't shit where you eat and her subconscious was screaming at her to get him out of this place. Or to get out of his presence.

She just couldn't bear to let him out of her sight just yet.

It was just so easy to solve problems in the very final way she knew how and did better than anyone in the world. Loose lips sink ships. It was that simple. Sarah couldn't allow someone so opposed to them both personally and professionally to walk away knowing the identity of the Intersect. She had convinced herself over the past few hours that it had been a clinical tactical decision rather than the overwhelming fear she had felt at realizing Lizzie's taunting was an accurate situational assessment.

They had discussed her a bit while they had been searching. While Lizzie was monologuing, Chuck had finally keyed on something that initiated a flash: Lizzie's association with Tommy Delgado.

"Can you imagine being so wrapped up in someone that you would go to those lengths?" he had mused while continuing to search, clearly a rhetorical question with no expectation of an answer.

Sarah had simply said "It's best not to dwell on what goes on in the mind of someone like that."

Chuck had just huffed at that and continued to sift through garbage, finally applying some method to it by clearing an area and transferring thoroughly examined garbage to a "Done" pile.

He hadn't noticed that she was just watching him, finally able to breathe and not caring what the air smelled like.

Because he was alive. And whole. And just... here.

Still here.

And he was clinging to the knowledge that The Enforcer's most recent kill had been in possession of the ring on the roof and not in the dumpster. Chuck was more relieved about that than the fact that the only government representative still present on the scene was her.

No one to extract him. No one to harm or capture him. Just someone he trusted. Someone who had managed to save him.

Just an assassin sifting through garbage.

"Oh, then it's got to be here somewhere," Chuck reasoned, without further discussion of Lizzie. Or of Longshore, who had died right in front of him. Or of detention centers where you might, occasionally, be allowed outside to visit controlled locations. That should have been a warning sign for her. He was completely fixated on finding that damn ring.

And just why was she back in this dumpster where she had hours before killed the FULCRUM mercenary? Chuck's sister was an amazing woman and deserved happiness. But she also didn't seem the type to care about the hardware itself. Although it had sparkled like hope made tangible on Lizzie's finger. And her own gut had twisted when Lizzie asked Chuck who it was for even knowing who it was meant for and that it wasn't even Chuck's to give.

But like almost everything in this world, it was replaceable. Sarah hadn't fought Lizzie to save something replaceable.

That's all she was trying to say when she offered a way for them to get off her killing grounds before seeing him here, standing where she did what she does, made her scream in inexplicable frustration.

"You know, Chuck, if we can't find it, we can just replace it," Sarah said trying to keep the edge out of her voice and Chuck finally broke.

"Look, look, look, it- it was Awesome's great-granny's ring, and it's going to be my sister's, okay?" Chuck sped up his efforts as though he expected Sarah to physically drag him out of the dumpster before he found what he was searching for and his rambling accelerated too.

"Is it so much to ask a future brother-in-law to hold a ring so a great guy - someone with actual prospects for offering her a happy life - can have a memorable proposal for his sister? I pretend to still have a real life but I can't even do that one little thing right, so no! If its in here, Ellie's getting this ring."

Sarah wanted to cry for him, watching him frantically trying to claw out a tiny bit of normalcy out of garbage. Trying to recapture one of the few pieces of his life before the Intersect - before her - that he still could.

She wanted to embrace him. To do for him what he does for her when she comes back from whatever hellish assignment Graham has found for her and he makes her feel nearly human again. But, in this state, she was afraid he would just brush her off. And that would break her.

"Devon's been holding onto it for her for ages. Keeping a safety deposit box to hold onto one thing intended for my sister. Something he's had for ages and knew he wanted to give her since he first met her."

Chuck kept rambling as he dug deeper and deeper into what looked like a week's worth of excess take out food. He was barely holding it together. His world had nearly ended on that helipad. It had ended. He had said the only goodbyes he was going to be able to say.

And Sarah had felt it too. Wondering how she was going to keep what she considered a promise but must have seemed like empty words. How she was going to figure out where he was being held. How she was going to get him out. How she was going to save him later.

"It's going to be Ellie's even if its covered in coffee grounds and miscellaneous DNA and- Ha! Ha, ha, ha! Hey! Oh, I found it! Let's go."

Chuck turned to see Sarah watching him, stunned, and considered the situation for a moment. He looked at her and then around them both then back to her as she just quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Uhh, sorry. Sorry... I went a little Bipolar Bear there for a second didn't I?"

Sarah could only guess at what he meant by that, "I'm glad you found it. Can we get out of here now, please?"

.


.

As she watched through the window, Sarah smiled at how apologetic Chuck had been about snapping at her on the drive to his place. How he shared memories of Ellie playing dress up weddings when she was little. Before she had to take charge of the household and played with friends less and less. Dreamed less and less. Of how much Ellie deserved happiness.

Sarah asked about him. Whether he deserved happiness too. And he only replied with a long exhale and a "one thing at a time" as he stared out the window. Only glancing over as she grabbed his hand reassuringly, not letting go until she had to downshift.

Once Chuck made the drop with Devon, Sarah retreated to lean against the brick wall and wondered about the question left unanswered from the drive over but for herself instead of for Chuck.

Did she deserve happiness?

When Chuck backed out the door watching Devon gently rousing Ellie awake, he closed it softly and turned to see Sarah smiling softly at him.

"Mission accomplished," was all he could think to say, and she relaxed against the brick.

"I can't believe we pulled it off," she said, referring to much more than just delivering what she was certain was about to become Ellie's engagement ring.

"That'll make one hell of a story at their wedding," Chuck joked, getting the feigned look of disbelief from Sarah he was looking for. "Which I'm never allowed to talk about under fear of death. Understood. I have other material."

Sarah smiled at Chuck, his good humor restored, and jerked her head back toward the window.

"You wanna?" she asked.

"What, spy? You?" he joked, as her followed an already moving Sarah and they both looked through the window just as Ellie clearly accepted Devon's proposal.

"She looks so happy," Chuck sighed and Sarah saw it too. No one deserved that happiness more than Ellie. Except maybe Chuck himself.

"Yeah, she does," Sarah agreed out loud, glancing between the woman in question and the man next to her who made it possible.

"I couldn't leave them yet," Chuck said turning slightly toward Sarah but still not facing her. As though he had anything to apologize for.

"You don't have to worry about that," she promised. Another empty, undeliverable promise.

Then, not knowing how long it would be true. Or even if it was true at all. "You're safe," she lied again.

"Yeah, safe for now, though. Right?" Of course, he saw through her. He always sees through her. "I mean they keep getting closer. Eventually, they're going to figure out who I am."

Sarah had no answer for that. No way to reassure him, knowing as he did that any victories would be short lived.

"Don't you think you should go in and congratulate Ellie?" Sarah deflected, not expecting Chuck to fight another fight on another front.

"You want to come in with me?" he asked simply.

It was bad enough there was a killer on Ellie's doorstep much less inviting her inside, no matter how much she wanted to be part of such a scene. So Sarah took what seemed like the easy out.

"Oh, it's family time," she said, thinking it would dismiss his invitation.

And in his usual, efficient way, Chuck stopped her heart by finally looking in her eyes and simply saying, "I know."

It was overwhelming. And Sarah drew a deep breath and took the cowardly way out again saying simply, "Well, good night."

Chuck studied her for a moment and must have seen her for the lost cause she was. Or maybe he was just as exhausted as she suddenly was. Either way, he let her off the hook this time and put on a brave face as he went in to congratulate his newly engaged sister.

Sarah couldn't bring herself to turn away.

Casey deliberately shuffled his feet so she would hear his approach. Sarah didn't even bother to turn.

"We can only keep him here for so long. You realize that, don't you?" Casey asked from behind her.

It was just a matter of time. She really didn't know what she could do to change that. But she did realize something about herself. Something as true of her own happiness as whatever time she might have remaining with Chuck. And, if they weren't one and the same, they were nearly so.

Sarah muttered her answer to Casey under her breath, tears threatening to fall again for all they would never have.

"I'll take what I can get."

.


.

Casey walked away leaving Sarah to observe Ellie's reaction. Sarah watched Ellie's glee as she flitted about the apartment, kept looking at her hand involuntarily and randomly hugged both Chuck and Devon when she was overtaken by emotion.

Chuck had done it. When his own world was crashing down around him, he managed to deliver happiness on a ring of gold to his sister.

Chuck glanced over to the window as Ellie threw her arms around her newly minted fiancé's neck again and Sarah just offered a small smile back to him before moving to leave.

She couldn't help but feel like an outsider, an interloper, spying on a scene of such joy. It's no different than when she slunk into Chuck's bed for him to warm her soul a few nights ago.

She had just done her job last night. Protected Chuck. Killed someone with her bare hands. Like she'd done a hundred times before. Intruding into someone else's happiness was not what she had earned. Especially after doing such a thing. She had her answer.

She didn't deserve it.

She heard the door behind her as she was walking away and was almost prepared to tell Chuck so, but it wasn't his voice he heard behind her.

"Sarah?"

Sarah turned to see a beaming Ellie, her face with that almost childlike glee, with her nose scrunched up and her striking cheeks seemingly about to burst with joy. Completely overcome with emotion Ellie had reserved for too few such moments of pure happiness. Sarah didn't dare tell her that she looked like a bit like a chipmunk as her face battled between crying, laughing and smiling. Not because there was no way for that to sound like a good thing, but because it didn't detract from her beauty one bit. It was the face of happiness.

"You're not leaving, are you?" Ellie asked with genuine concern as she closed the door behind her.

Sarah shook off any negativity from herself to not detract from that joy, offering a weak excuse.

"I didn't want to intrude."

"That's what Chuck said you said but, c'mon! We're celebrating!" Ellie shifted manically to pure glee.

Sarah sought a better excuse even as she moved to meet Ellie halfway as Chuck's sister practically hopped the last few steps holding out her newly adorned ring finger with the other hand holding it steady.

"I know but- God, Ellie, its beautiful," Sarah couldn't help but say.

This was the first time she had actually had a good look at Devon's grandmother's ring and it was stunning. Just like its wearer.

"I know, right?" Ellie beamed. "I mean, there was a time when I thought it would never happen and I wasn't even sure she did give it to him and he can drive me crazy sometimes but..." Ellie blew out a long, exhausted breath, "I love him! And we're getting married! Seriously, Devon arranged our shifts so we don't have to go in at all today. Come inside with the boys so we can celebrate."

Ellie grabbed Sarah by the hand and started to pull her toward the door before Sarah protested, "Really, Ellie. I'm a mess and-"

Sarah stopped as Ellie took in Sarah's dirty clothes for the first time and asked, in a very Bartowski way, "Do I even want to know?"

Sarah smiled at the bits of Chuck she could see in his sister and used the cover story they had devised in the car to explain their appearance, "Let's just say, Chuck was helping me clear out the last of the Weinerlicious stock and things got a little sketchy for a while."

"Sketchy, or frisky?" Ellie teased in her giddiness before letting that notion go, literally waving it away with her hand. "Never mind. I don't need the details. I'm just glad you're getting squared away with... that."

Sarah had laid enough groundwork on the upcoming transition to a yogurt shop for it to be very plausible and Ellie seemed to have accepted her explanation.

"What with all the travel back and forth... I hope that's all settled now? That you'll be around more? That... whoever... doesn't need you back east?" Ellie tried to ask delicately.

Sarah felt the familiar combination of pleased and disappointed she so often felt in her interactions with Ellie. Ellie was so sweet to her - and to Casey for that matter - and Sarah had to tread so carefully. Sarah hated having to lie to her. But Ellie had picked up on the breadcrumbs that Sarah had placed in their recent interactions and seemed to be deducing the intended "protected witness" story.

Of course, the government was setting her up with a new cover, it just wasn't as a small business owner as part of some sort of relocation agreement. And Ellie's interpretation - that setting up her new business was reaching some sort of turning point and would require her consistent presence - might help Sarah avoid being pulled away so frequently for side missions.

"I hope so too. I think its all settled..." Sarah replied. And the thought of being pulled away less for fewer of Graham's "special" assignments made her feel... buoyant. Ebullient. A whole class of words she had put away to only describe other people long ago.

"...but I thought we were celebrating. C'mon, show me again!" Sarah demanded good-naturedly, feeling something akin to hope for the first time in a long time.

Sarah actually studied the ring this time. And the way it looked on Ellie's seemingly delicate fingers. Fingers that Sarah knew had worked to the bone to raise Chuck and then to help others. Sarah was a little disarmed when she looked up to see Ellie's eyes - a similar hazel to Chuck's but his predominant amber giving way to a little more of a softer green - already fixed on hers.

"Sarah?" Ellie began hesitantly, "You're not... you're not just Chuck's girlfriend to me. You know that, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... I know you don't like to share a lot. And that's OK. I want you to know that's totally OK. But I like you. I like you a lot even though we don't know each other's deepest secrets. So... if you had to... relocate or something..."

Ellie huffed with frustration at herself as Sarah processed the variety of angles Ellie had just hit her from. "What I'm trying to say - poorly trying to say - is that I should have known Devon was proposing. Maybe even hoped he was. Because Morgan found the ring in Chuck's locker and thought Chuck was going to propose to you-"

"Ellie... I-"

"I know, I know. You guys haven't known each other that long. I mean, eight months isn't exactly unheard of but as I was wondering if it was really Devon's ring or what Devon was waiting for or if Chuck was really going to beat him to the punch like that, I realized that I wasn't jealous. I was really, really happy for him. And for you. For both of you.

"I'm not saying you should or saying it to push you into anything you're not ready for or anything, its just... If you had to go. And if it was a sudden... like, an emergency or something and you couldn't tell us what was going on... If Chuck had to choose whether to go with you... I just think as long as he's with you, I'd be happy knowing that he's happy."

Wow. Sarah had not been expecting that leap.

"Ellie, I think we have plenty of time for all that."

"Good. I hope so," and the smile began to overtake Ellie's face again. "Because I really need help with planning the wedding."

"You want me in your wedding?" Sarah asked with genuine surprise.

"Of course I do. And not just because you're going to be my goofball brother's plus one. You'll help me right?"

Sarah didn't even have to think about her answer.

"I'd love to."

Sarah let Ellie pull her toward the apartment and Sarah caught a glimpse of Casey at his window. He made a small gesture - cupping his hands as though making a snowball... or crumpling a piece of paper - and Sarah realized what he meant.

He was going to destroy that recording. Ellie's wonderful approval of Sarah and Chuck and acceptance of an implied cover story was a double edged sword. Without knowing that her brother had nearly been lost forever to "protective custody" and thinking that she was some sort of protected witness, Ellie had given her blessing to taking Chuck with her if she had to leave.

As uplifting as it had been in the moment, Ellie had just inadvertently gift wrapped the perfect cover story for "disappearing" her brother.

Sarah and Casey shared a small nod and he released his blinds to return to hiding behind them. Ellie opened her front door and saw Chuck and Devon with drinks in their hands and one on the table for her.

"Pour another one fiancé, I brought a bridesmaid to celebrate with us!"

Devon stood to pour another drink with a beaming smile and an "Outstanding!" while Chuck looked at Sarah peeking over Ellie's shoulder with an I-told-you-so grin on his face that make the corners of her own mouth turn up.

Ellie stepped inside leaving Sarah still standing on the doorstep with Chuck studying her every move. Her fight or flight response evident on her face.

She knew she didn't belong here. Didn't know if she would be here to see Ellie married to Devon. If Chuck would be here to see it.

She knew she didn't deserve it. But Sarah tentatively stepped across the threshold anyway.

She'd take what she could get.

.


END OF LINE


.

A/N2: I addressed why and how Sarah instigated the idea of robbing the Buy More last time but neglected to mention that one of my favorite Sarah-isms of the entire show is when Casey drives Chuck to the warehouse / hangar where they have reconstructed the innards of the Buy More for examination. When the doors open to reveal Sarah, Chuck in disbelief says "YOU robbed the Buy More?" and she just quirks her mouth and gives a little half-shrug like she didn't just move heaven and earth to protect him. The moment itself cannot be improved upon so I tried to show what went into her motivations to do it instead.

Also, from last time: The knives I have in mind for Sarah The Enforcer are pretty much the "Saber Claws" that Riddick uses in the Riddick franchise. Who's your money on in a game of "Who's the better killer?"

You'll have to wait until "Santa Claus" to resolve your concerns about the subtle differences between Sarah dispatching Lizzie and executing Mauser. Honestly, how many people who know Chuck is the Intersect can be allowed to live? (For those who don't know, "Loose Lips Sink Ships" is an actual WWII era slogan from the War Advertising Council / US Office of War Information - Wow, right? These entities existed. May you live in interesting times... - and was meant to warn against unguarded talk of possible use by the enemy.)

Regarding the events of these chapters, I also love that, when Casey arrives at the helipad, the very moment Chuck says "There's really some serious spy fighting going on" it suddenly devolves into hair pulling. Chick fights are vicious!

I thought about making the amount of thought between floors more uniform but then figured Sarah is getting her game face on. Much less reflection when she's turning herself into The Enforcer.

Yes, the helipad is the same building as the Pilot! Yes, its the Marriott (since closed). Yes, its fourteen stories tall (and let's assume open elevator access to all floors and remember, the "dings" start at "2"). Yes, people have survived falls from such heights... if you know "how to fall". Yes, until recently, Los Angeles had an ordinance that said all "high rises" MUST have helipads. (Learned that after looking at a Google sat maps thinking "How many helipads could there be in downtown LA anyway?")

But, even with all that superfluous research, I'll ask you to kindly just go with the same suspension of disbelief utilized when viewing the episode. Much like Lizzie shooting the gun out of Sarah's hand. (Also, Sarah never heard the name Lizzie on-screen until Chuck entered the Weinerlicious saying it with questionable acoustics, then she used it as though it was very familiar to her. Granted, Sarah may have simply read Lizzie's Pita Palace name tag but, just for fun, I'll stick with the idea that "flirting with Lester is a memorable red flag".)

Much of the show is built upon this "fish out of water" idea of keeping Chuck's dangerous, hidden life from destroying his safer "real" life (even though he is destined for and eventually becomes more fulfilled in his role in the "dangerous" world). I thought it would be interesting to see that separation from Sarah's side of things. Thinking of her own real life only existing inside Chuck's apartment (or at least the "bubble" of his "real life".)

Chuck just threw it out there (like I sometimes do) but I was surprised to find that "Bipolar Bears" exist in various aspects of pop-culture but I was thinking of The Tick animated series. Don't look for it. Bipolar Bear (the superhero with the best of intentions if only he could bring himself to leave the house) appears for like eight seconds.

Update on slower updates: No promises on update timing - though I'd like to close out Book One soon. Writing is much slower due to real life priorities so I hope you all can stick with me. If you do, I will stick with the story!

Book One is soon drawing to a close. "Wait a minute," you say. "Marlin WAS the end of Season One!" Yes, indeed it was. But I have always considered this first "phase" of the show (mostly themed around Chuck being swept up in events prior to trying to take some control of his life back) to extend into "First Date". Sorry! (Not sorry.)

Also, sneak peek preview: in my mind, S2 unofficially ends with "First Kill" ("Take off your watch") and, even with the subsequent time jump, "Colonel" and "Ring" (I) is the unofficial beginning of S3.

So, there will be another installment or two and probably a mid-story epilogue of sorts to bridge us between Book One and Book Two. I decided when I started I was only going to write one fan fiction, its just going to be a hellalong one...