Chapter 29: A Losing Battle
Bella immediately put down the food she rescued in her grip and got down to the floor to clean up the multiple messes. She was hoping what Mrs. Black was shocked about wasn't what she thought. Maybe it was something else. It wasn't how they planned on telling. That was for certain. She wasn't ready to admit it all without Jacob or even her father present.
"Stop!" Sarah shouted at her. Bella looked up from her work. "Leave it, Bella. I don't want you slipping or cutting yourself."
Bella smelled her lightly toasted bread waiting for her in the toaster. She obeyed and didn't argue. When she sat at the table, Sarah stepped across the disaster and prepared Bella a saucer with buttered toast and jam. She placed the food in front of her and started cleaning up after both of them. She held up two perfectly good eggs. "These survived, do you still want them?"
All those hunger pains seemed to have vanished as they were replaced by knots and a burning sensation, but she thought she probably should eat a little more. She shifted from her seat to get up since all the liquid and broken glass were off the floor. "No, sit...I'll make them." She asked her how she was going to prepare them and Bella tentatively explained her craving. Those minutes were excruciatingly painful for both of them. She sat quietly at the table nibbling her toast while Sarah cooked for her.
If Bella thought that was bad, she didn't realize how much harder it would be for Mrs. Black to join her at the table with her cup of coffee. She sat across from her and watched her eat. The food wasn't nearly as satisfying as she imagined it would taste when she first set out to make it.
"Thank you and I'm sorry."
"Dear, I'm the one that's sorry. I wish you would have trusted me."
She knew. Bella had tried to convince herself maybe it wasn't for certain but she definitely knew and she had no idea what to say next. At least, she saw compassion in Sarah's eyes.
"It's just...things happened so fast and there was school and then Charlie and..." her voice trailed off from a making more excuses.
"Honey, you don't have to tell me all of it. I know. We were wrong...Billy and I both." That was the last thing she expected out of her mother-in-law and what did she know?
Sarah didn't give her much opportunity to talk. She went back to the time when she was attacked. Why did she bring that up? She apologized for not listening to Jacob. "If we would have, then we could have prevented all this. I can't imagine how you've suffered. No wonder you've been strange and distant for months.
Bella was starting to finally get it. Certainly, she didn't think...no, that was disgusting. She couldn't even imagine such a thing, but it was so obvious. Sarah thought the child was Edward's and that she'd been forced. She broke out in a cold sweat at the suggestion. "Could I please have some juice?"
"Of course, dear." She brought a small cup of orange juice to her.
"Mrs. Black...um you've got some things mixed up."
"Sarah, dear."
"Okay, well Sarah, I...I don't know what to say. I don't want to talk about him."
"Of course you don't, sweetie. But it makes sense, his secret was going to come out and he fled. Did you tell him?"
"No, I never told him. How do you know all of this about Mr. Cullen?"
"The sheriff found things. Billy met the father, and other details didn't add up. He had an investigator dig deeper." Bella was shocked, because it had been over two months and not one individual had told her any of the sort. She told her the first thing the sheriff discovered was the other glove. He also found drawings and poetry about her indicating he had an obsession with her. When he presented it to Edward's father, he stammered and stuttered that it was just a glove. 'Everyone has gloves,' but the sheriff knew better. The reason it was so unique to him was because he knew it didn't come from any store in America. "When Billy told me, we were sick about it. Honestly."
"But neither of you said anything?"
"To protect you, honey. We didn't want to make you relive it all and if he was gone, seemingly for good...we didn't see the point. And you know how we feel about the school. There's so many positives going on for the academy and this would have put a blot on the school's reputation. We fell for the resume and the recommendations he provided."
"So yes, he was a creep, but..."
"And to think about those other young women."
"What? What other women?"
Sarah brought up the independent investigation. Edward lied, he had worked in America before. Schools in Boston and New York state had asked for his resignation after barely a year. Young girls issued complaints he made them uncomfortable. It turned out he didn't stay in England because there was a huge cloud of suspicion over him. A young lady he was known to keep company with disappeared for weeks. He was questioned but there was never any proof. His father hired an attorney.
"The girl? Did they ever find her?"
Sarah looked down at the table. "Yes."
"And...did she tell them? I mean did she say he hurt her?"
"No, she wasn't able to tell them. Bella, they found her body in a river. Weeks had passed, they weren't sure what happened."
Bella's hand flew to her mouth. She felt like she needed to hold them there to keep all the food from coming back up. She was right. He had hurt someone before. Hurt wasn't the right word, he killed a girl and she knew deep down he had planned to do that to her as well.
"So I know you must be frightened right now, but at least you survived and it's not the child's fault."
Bella had to set her straight. She finally found her voice. "Sarah, all this Mr. Cullen stuff. I wish you would have talked to me and Jake or my father, but I've been trying to tell you that you're wrong."
"Wrong?"
"Well, yes...about some things. You're right that he attacked me in the woods. He also tried again, but Jacob protected me. We don't have to worry about him anymore. Trust me."
"Tried, so he never..."
"No, definitely not."
"But...you're with child."
They'd both danced around the actual reality. Bella had been so captivated by the story about Edward, she'd almost forget the real task at hand.
"Yes."
"Who's the father of the baby, Bella?" Her voice wasn't quite as calming when she asked that.
Did she really need to even say it? "Surely, you already know the answer to that."
She pushed up from the table and walked away. She stood at the sink, staring out the window while she overly washed her coffee mug. A heavy sigh escaped her lips. "How could you?" followed.
The sorrowful mood, endearing names and encouraging words were no longer there. Bella had been the victim in the beginning, but not anymore. Now she was something else in Mrs. Black's eyes. She was the destroyer of her son's future.
Thinking about what she knew Sarah was thinking about her made her a little angry but braver. "How could I? I'm not in the family way because of something I did alone. The baby is Jacob's...your grandchild. We love each other and no matter how much you tried to tell us we didn't...obviously we do."
"I thought it was puppy love for a long time. Those things are usually fleeting."
"Am I really so terrible that you can't stand the fact he chose me?"
She assured Bella she never thought she was terrible, he was their only son and they had big dreams for him taking the vineyard into the modern age.
"He will, and I'll be at his side supporting him, encouraging him all along the way."
"But he'll quit school now. He was going to be our first college graduate. I could've accepted you. I pretty much did, despite what you think, but I thought later when you were both more mature and after I was sure that Jacob had explored all his options. I'm shocked that you would behave this way. I guess I never explained it enough since we were so embarrassed when we had our little talk, but men have more trouble denying their urges. It's up to the women to be the strong ones."
Bella felt like laughing as much as she felt like crying. Sarah thought she had it all figured out. She had seduced her poor son and he couldn't do anything about it because he was a man. "Like I said before, you're wrong about so much. I'm not a bad girl. I'm not my mother. I'm sure that's what you're thinking. Jacob's my husband and our child was conceived during our marriage. I never lured him, tricked him or any such thing. We are in love." Bella raised her voice.
Sarah slammed her fists down. "No, my son wouldn't do that. Married? That can't be."
She told her the whole truth about the secret wedding ceremony. Sarah didn't interrupt, she listened.
"I feel like I don't even know him. This doesn't sound like the boy I raised."
"I didn't force him. In fact, it was his idea which I agreed with because I love him so much. If you think the things I told you aren't like Jacob, then perhaps you and Mr. Black haven't been paying attention. He's loyal, strong and fiercely independent. He wants to please you both, but he also wants to do things his own way."
She wasn't sure, but she thought maybe a few things were having an impact on Sarah. Maybe after the shock started wearing off, she was going to help them. Bella was counting on her now. She had no choice. "I love those little girls...my granddaughters."
"Of course you do, you're a loving grandmother. My child is lucky to have you."
Her hand slid across the table and covered Bella's for the first time. "The hard times make us stronger."
"Yes."
"We can't change what's happened."
No, they couldn't, but Bella had opened another can of worms. Once the marriage and baby reality was digested, Sarah came back to it. "You said Jacob rescued you. Where's Mr. Cullen?"
She held her lip tightly between her teeth. All those months, she imagined telling the Black's the truth about their relationship was going to be the hardest thing she ever had to do, but she was wrong. They couldn't lie about what had happened, since they were already privy to the investigation findings.
"Bella, I asked you an important question. I think we've done a good job at opening up this past hour. You said you were being attacked and Jacob stopped it. Edward Cullen seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth. Where is he?"
She'd done a good job at keeping her tears inside, but no longer. She started to cry and Jacob's mother handed her a tissue. "He had no choice. It all happened so fast. Mr. Cullen...he tied me up and shoved me to the floor. He was crazy. Jacob was supposed to pick me up, we were going to the beach. He had a flat tire and he was late, but..." she stopped there and took another sip of juice. Sarah was already shaking her head like she was trying to shake away the words that she was about to hear. "So he hit him...really hard. He didn't mean for it to happen, but Jacob killed him. I'm so sorry."
She didn't mean she was sorry Edward was dead but she was sorry that because of her, Jacob had to kill someone.
"Oh dear God, my son...how? Why did you all hide this? Where's the body? What if someone finds him? Jacob could go to prison, Bella." She filled her in on the rest of the gory details. But Sarah wasn't convinced. "It still could come back to haunt us all. Billy doesn't think the father is going to let up. He says he's coming back in the summer."
"They'll never be able to find or prove anything. None of us will tell."
"I can't believe Charlie went along with all this."
"He doesn't know about the baby, in case you were wondering. I promise, we were all going to sit down and tell you and Mr. Black all of it after the trip. We never intended to wait so long. Of course, the baby was a surprise, but I can't imagine not having him now."
"Him? You have no way of knowing that."
"In my dreams, and my thoughts...I know. This is Jacob's son. The next generation of Blacks. Please, can you hold onto to all of it until Jacob returns? You know he's camping with the guys."
"You're asking me to lie to my husband? I don't do that. You should know that by now."
"He's practically due back the same time as Jacob. Please, just give me a chance to speak to him and then we'll tell Billy everything."
Sarah never promised outright either way. She excused herself, claiming she had developed a terrible headache and needed to go to her room for some peace and quiet.
Bree came through the back door. Bella had just returned from a long hot shower and changing into her clothes. Jasper was right behind her, his arms loaded with bags. They brought in the groceries and Bella made Jasper a sandwich before he left them alone. She helped Bree put away the rest of the food.
"What's the matter, child? I can tell you've been crying."
"Sarah knows."
"Oh, my...well, Charles said it was time anyway. She knows you and Jacob are really husband and wife?" Bella knew Charlie confided in Bree. It was the right thing to do since she was his wife. Bella burst into another round of tears. Bree took her to the room that she shared with her father.
There was no use in hiding the rest. Bella pulled her blouse snug, "and this."
Bree covered her mouth, "Oh, mon...I suspected. Charles said no."
"Really, you knew?"
"You've always eaten like a little bird, chère, but not lately. I have sisters with children. I thought so, but I couldn't understand why your father wasn't informed."
"I know...it was dumb not to tell the whole truth."
"And Mrs. Sarah...she's not taking it so well."
"Yes and no...sometimes, I thought yes, but it's a lot and I think she's going to try and tell Mr. Black as soon as possible. I'm afraid of being alone with both of them before Jacob returns. I don't even know how to reach him." Bree encouraged her to try. She even volunteered to go search for him. Bella got on the phone and called Quil's house.
His grandfather answered. It didn't work out so great. Turned out, he's hard of hearing especially on the phone. "Jake, Jacob Black, where is he?"
"Huh, speak up."
"Quil and Embry?"
"Oh, yes, yes this is Quil Ateara."
"Yes, I know. Mr. Ateara...can you get a hold of Jacob?"
"Jacob?"
"Yes, Jacob Black." He finally understood her.
"He'll be back tomorrow, noontime I think. They went camping up the mountain."
She didn't bother asking which mountain. Hopefully, he understood when she said to send him back home as soon as possible. Noontime wasn't what she hoped to hear. She thought Billy and Charlie would be back earlier than that. Sarah was her only hope. She had to give them a chance. She had no idea what was in store for her, but she felt like Jacob had to be with her when they spoke to his father.
When Jacob asked her about fitting in the annual camping trip, she thought it was a great idea. Their fathers would be gone and she assured him he needed the fun and relaxation. She was sorely regretting that conversation. She'd give anything to have him with her at the moment. If she would have said one word indicating that she wanted him to remain home, he would have.
Bree tried to distract her. She got some yarn and patterns out of the chest by the bed. "Let's start a blanket for the baby."
Bella had been wanting to but never could fearing someone would see her. She and Bree both found something they wanted to crochet. Bella was going to work on a tiny hat and bootie set while Bree got started on a larger item. She'd actually been her teacher years before when she first came to work for the Blacks. In a way, Bree had already filled a motherly role all those years when her own mother stayed locked away in her room. She taught her sewing, cooking and baking as well as knitting and crocheting. Sarah had felt like a mother to her some of that time as well. Maybe Bella had gotten through to her. Even if Sarah told Billy, perhaps she was going to be supportive and keep him grounded. She never saw him say an angry word to his wife.
Bree was quiet while they worked. "I'm not sure it will ever happen for me."
"A baby? Oh Bree, you want children? I hoped that you would. My father isn't too old. I told him that recently."
"It may not be possible."
"Why not?"
"I was ill as a young child. The doctor said it might have affected things permanently. I don't get my hopes too high, but I still wish. I love children. I'll spoil this wee one from the first day, so be ready."
Bella felt so bad for her. She truly wished the doctor was wrong. Bree would be an excellent mother to her little brother or sister.
The crocheting project was exactly what she needed. It got her through the day and distracted her. They ate a light lunch and did a little house cleaning and then went back to work. Bella was shocked when Sarah didn't come back down. Bree ended up carrying her hot bowl of soup in the evening. For some reason, she didn't even feel like ascending the stairs and sleeping in Jacob's room. She stayed up late in the study working tirelessly on the booties. She couldn't fall asleep until they were done.
Bella yawned and stretched her achy muscles. She didn't know what time it was, only that it was light out. She'd fallen asleep on the sofa in the study. She never even thought to pull it out into a bed. She eyed her finish project on the coffee table. Strange, how many nights, their school work filled that table and now it held a portion of their future. The blue booties came out adorable, but she still had to finish the cap. Today, would not be the day for that she told herself. Once, she walked out the french doors, she was sure to collide with all that awaited her which was a huge confrontation. Her jumpy little bean was bouncing around within her again. She was hoping Jacob could feel it soon with her since he was getting much stronger and more active. "Bet you're hungry again...I sure am." She'd reverted back to her low appetite the previous day because of all the stress. Bree had stocked the kitchen well so she'd have lots to choose from.
The door opened in front of her. There he was...Billy Black standing within the frame of the door, looking larger than life. She swallowed hard. One look in his eyes told her all she needed to know. Sarah hadn't waited, she told him everything. She watched his deep even breathing and how his nostrils flared. It was a frightening sight before her, but it was all show. It wasn't like she ever thought he'd hurt her. She knew he wasn't like that. There was a part of her that loved that man deeply. He took care of her family. He was Jacob's father which made him her family whether he liked it or not.
He spoke, "Bella, I need you to come with me."
"Oh, okay," she followed him thinking they were going to talk somewhere in the house, maybe the living room. She turned her head in every direction searching for the others. Where was her dad?
It was obvious Jacob hadn't returned. They passed a hall clock which read 10:30, my she had slept late. "Um, where's my dad?"
"Working, he missed two day and he got right to it."
"Oh, well where's Sarah?"
"Mrs. Black needed to run an errand. I sent Bree to help her."
He didn't stop in the living room. They walked out of the house and onto the porch where his car was idling in front of the house. She stumbled with her words, but asked where they were going.
He didn't answer, just told her to get in the car.
She did, but she turned back and looked at the house. It didn't look so grand anymore. It was just a home filled with a family. She was glad she lived within the walls finally. She knew she'd be back soon, but in her head she said, bye house...goodbye Belleza Viñedo.
"Are we going to get Jacob?"
He looked at her and made a slight noise of agreement. She wasn't sure what was going on. He was angry, but there was something else. She couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it was best to keep quiet until Jacob was with them.
He put the car in gear and headed off the property. The turn to the reservation was only a few miles up the road to the left, but he drove by without hesitation. "Isn't Jake in La Push?" Again, only deafening silence. She wished he'd start yelling at her or something. That would have seemed more familiar to her. She looked side to side and that's when something in the back seat caught her eye. Luggage, two bags and a jacket...her jacket. He'd packed her things. Bella gripped the door tightly. "Mr. Black, please stop or turn around. I need to talk to Jacob. I don't know what all you know, but I can't...I mean I don't want to go anywhere. I'm sorry, take me back home."
"I can't do that Bella and you know why. It's not your home anymore. If you care about Jacob like Sarah says you do, then you know why you've given me no choice."
She was right about Mr. Black never laying a hand on her. He wasn't even fussing at her, but sending her away...whatever he intended to do was literally ripping her heart from her chest. She had never felt such pain in all her life. It had worked once before in a life and death situation. She closed her eyes tight and whispered in her mind, Jacob, help me. I love you.
~Thanks for reading.
