Hey! I was feeling a bit random (As if that's a surprise) and this happened! Aunt May joins the fashion police! Yay! This is partially liv lokigirl's idea!
PLEASE READ:
Ok. So I don't know what went on with my computer, but I received like half of your interview questions almost two or three days after I posted the interview chapter! So if your questions weren't on there, I'm very sorry! Forgive me! Blame computer lag!
Reviewers:
liv lokigirl: Thanks for the questions and I used your idea about Aunt May! Kind of! Hope you enjoy my little twist on it!
IronFistRocks: Thanks for submitting them and sorry they weren't used! Hope you like the chapter though!
Anonymous: Again, sorry for not being able to use your questions! Keep reading and reviewing!
Batmanismyhero: Thanks for the questions. And welcome to the fandom! I never noticed that before, but you're right! That is pretty cool!
AllieSnow: I can't get the prompt to show up! The links aren't working for me. What's the URL?
Chapter 29: Who Ya Gonna Call
Aunt May was packing her bag for her latest club. Peter and his friends were staying over for a while and she needed some space.
"Peter! I'm going out! Be good!" She yelled up the stairs. She heard his muffled goodbye. Aunt May shook her head, grinning, and walked out the door.
Her ear-piece rang suddenly.
"Hello?"
"Come in Maybird. Agent Maybird, come in!"
"What's up Commissioner," May asked, ducking behind some bushes.
"We have a code red on Sixth Street! Go go go!" The Commissioner yelled. Aunt May- or Agent Maybird- gasped. She ran into an alley and unpacked her bag. She put on a black leather jumpsuit over her everyday clothing. It had gold zippers of course. She slipped on a black cap and put on some Luke Cage-style sunglasses.
Lastly, Maybird took out her utility belt, complete with pepper-spray grenades and throwing sporks.
Now she was ready. The elderly agent took out a grappling hook and swung all the way to Sixth Street Spiderman-style! She got there and barrel rolled under an abandoned hot dog cart. Waiting. Watching.
There he was. Target acquired. A middle aged, overweight man with a horizontally striped green turtleneck, and polka dotted black and white skinny jeans. It was worse than she thought. Agent Maybird waited until he was close by, and sprung from the hot dog cart.
But before she could apprehend him, a giant dolphin with a laser pointer on its head jumped down from nowhere. It laughed an ugly dolphin screech.
"Agent Maybird! I will not let you take this man! He is my servant! I have world domination plans! Blah blah blah blah!" It sneered. Maybird took out her pepper spray and let it rip all over the dolphin's tiny eyes.
It screamed.
And burst into flames.
"Ahhh! I'm melting! I'm melting!" Then it died and the scent of fried fish wafted through the street. Maybird leapt onto her target and tackled him.
"Hey lady! Get off me!" He was struggling! The fashion choice was taking over his brain! The super trained agent totally tazed him. He jerked for a while, finally succumbing. Aunt May got to work, slipping a casual black sweater vest over his horrible turtle neck, and cutting off the neck part with surgeon precision. Now his top looked good.
Time for the bottom.
She took out a pair of dark jeans and tried to slide them onto him over his pants. They got stuck. Very stuck.
"Come on!" Maybird grunted and heaved. The jeans were lodged halfway up the man's leg. She huffed, and resorted to stepping on his fat face with her black stilettos. She pulled towards her. The pants gave a slight ripping sound, followed by a squeak, but finally crawled up the man's legs.
Agent Maybird sighed in relief as the man started waking up.
"NOOOOOO!" He yelled.
"What? You look much better now!" Agent Maybird reassured.
"I know! That's the problem! I was on my way to meet my girlfriend at Tacky Con!" He raged.
"Tacky Con?"
"Duh! The Tacky Clothes Convention? Have you never heard of it?"
"OH MY FASHION!" A red headed woman wearing bellbottoms and a puke-colored Christmas sweater ran over.
The man gasped. "Baby! No! It's not what it looks like!"
"Shut up Tom! You were embarrassed to go with me! Look at you! Ugh! We are over! Don't talk to me!" She yelled. Then she sprinted away with her purple and green mascara running down her cheeks. Maybird stared.
"Uh..." She trailed off helpfully.
The man-or Tom-looked at her with tears in his eyes.
"You did this! YOU! This is...UNACCEPTABLE! SELF DESTRUCT!" He screamed.
"No no! It's ok! I'm sorry!" Maybird said. He then exploded into a puddle of anger. Maybird sighed and pulled out her communicator.
"This is Agent Maybird. Come in Commissioner."
"Agent Maybird. Has the target been fashion-ized?"
"Um...yes. Come get him. I'm going home."
"Sure Agent. You earned it!"
"Right..." Maybird said convincingly. Then she went to an alley, changed back into her civies and walked home just in time to make dinner.
"Peter! I'm home!"
"Hey Aunt May!"
"I'm doing the laundry soon, want me to wash your costumes?" Aunt May realized her mistake.
"WHAT?!"
"Um...Clothes. I asked if you wanted me to wash your clothes!"
"Yeah...sure...I thought you said something else..." Peter called back. Aunt May smiled as Sam came down the stairs.
"Hey May! Where've you been?" He asked. May grinned slyly.
"Oh nowhere...just doing some fashion stuff."
"Like shopping?"
"Sure. Just like shopping."
So...yeah. Lot's of references to things in this chapter! Lot's of references. Hope you guys enjoyed! Oh! Don't forget to check out my newest One-Shot, Once Upon A Loki! If you love Loki, you'll love that story! It is the true story of Asguard! Anyway...
Wolf out...
