A/N: SURPRISE SURPRISE! Long time no see!

I managed to write snippets of this chapter every day that I have time, and before even a long break, I present to you, Chapter Twenty-Nine! Along with the help from my twin sis, I was able to complete this!

This was the requested chapter for battlefield4us with specific details and such, so certain Smashers get a little more screen time than others.

Thank you for all your reviews!

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Disproportionate Outcomes

"Pass me the chicken stock, NOW!" Shulk screeched ludicrously as the substance in the skillet lurched and popped ominously in front of him. "NOW, I said!" the Monado bearer demanded.

Starting to panic after hearing no response, Shulk whipped his head over to his so-called assistant, only to find him snoozing in his Clown Car cradling said chicken stock in his arms like a teddy bear.

"BOWSER JR.!" Shulk squawked as he narrowly dodged the lethal popping oil. He was getting dangerously annoyed, though he found it fascinating how the little Koopa could sleep through all this racket, more so that the location was in the Smash Mansion.

It wasn't often for someone other than professional chef Zelda to cook a meal, but since it turned out that a handful of newcomers were now going to settle into the Smash Mansion, the other Smashers decided to discover what these newcomers' cooking skills were because, well, food was the one common thing the Smashers all were in favor for.

"You idiot," Dark Pit scowled. "You were supposed to gather all ingredients together…and get rid of any nuisances." The fallen angel glowered at Bowser Jr.

Sauntering by, seeing Shulk's blatant fruitless attempt with the snoring Koopa, Duck Hunt Dog said plainly, "I'll fix that," and casually dumped his half empty water bowl on the little Koopa's face.

But even that didn't wake him up.

"Amazing," Shulk managed to murmur sarcastically before turning back the cackling oil in the skillet. This stir-fry definitely wasn't going to be a success in the near future. If only someone could come and help like that Duck Hunt Dog—

Speak of the devil.

Said dog entered the kitchen after his futile ordeal with Bowser Jr., and picked up the oil container, except he didn't know it was oil in a used-to-be water container.

"Here, put some water to calm it down."

"No, WAIT! That's oi—"

The stir-fry exploded in Shulk's face.

Alas, the Smashers discovered neither these newcomers were good cooks.


Captain Falcon was enjoying a nice protein shake (courtesy of Dr. Mario's scientific explanations and Wii Fit Trainer's nagging), though he realized that he really didn't need this protein shake. After all, he had all these muscles, and it was kinda pointless, considering he was a racer which didn't require anything but his biceps. What did he need these muscles for? Captain Falcon shrugged. For the ladies, he thought.

Suddenly, Fox appeared out of nowhere and randomly stated, "You're a lummox who is an ignominy to all leniency."

Then the anthropomorphic fox left after throwing back an angelic smile. Hm, Marth's dictionary is quite useful! Fox thought.

Meanwhile Captain Falcon was confused with the sudden torrent of vocabulary words; he decided to look them up to see whether or not he should beat Fox up.

Suddenly, Master Hand's shriek was heard. "CRAZY, PUT THAT DOWN NOW! HOW'D YOU EVEN GET YOUR HANDS ON ONE OF ZELDA'S POTIONS?!"

"BuT, bRo, ThIs Is My FaVoRiTe CoLoR!"

"I thought your favorite color was green? And last week's was blue? And last last week's was orange?"

"BuT I'm fEeLiNg PiNk ToDaY!"

"Crazy, give that to me."

"No WaY bRo!"

"*sigh. Then that's too bad."

Some wrestling noises. Crazy Hand's agonized screeches. A few bumps here and there. And finally, a deafening CRRAAAACCKKK!

Dead silence.

Unexpectedly, Captain Falcon all of a sudden felt woozy, vaguely registering a pink wisp curling past him, before collapsing, dropping his emptied protein shake glass on the rug.

Holding his head in his hands, he clamped his eyes shut for the brief migraine to past before opening them again—and realizing he was as tall as his fallen cup. Confused and baffled, the racer peered up and saw the wall towering before him, the ceiling suddenly miles away.

And then he realized. It couldn't be, that he…shrunk?

But it was true. The strands of the rug were up to the racer's knee, and it was like stepping through cement if he walked since his foot kept sinking into the soft material. Then Crazy and Master's distressed words were heard.

"CRAZY, COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT."

"I'm sorry, bro! Honest!"

A window was heard getting smashed open. The two hands were seen briefly chasing through the yard into the distance.

Of course, none of this really mattered to the flustered Captain Falcon as he narrowly avoided a giant boot descending down on him…before its owner also seemingly came into contact with the pink mist and shrank down to the racer's size.

"What the f—Captain Falcon? Where the hell are we?"

The racer stared, distraught into the face of Ike. Even Ragnell was shrunk down proportionally with the swordsman.

"Um, turns out that Crazy apparently cracked one of Zelda's potions…"

As Captian Falcon filled the indigo-haired swordsman in, the pink mist continued to contaminate the entire Smash Mansion.


"Ready to go back?" Robin stared patiently at the other swordswoman.

"Yea, I guess," Lucina replied, picking herself up. The silver-haired swordsman had a picnic basket dangling from his arm while the other gripped the rolled up towel. They had had a lovely lunch in the park, including a game of tag and lots of picture memoirs.

"We gotta go pick up Link and Zelda from the mall, as we promised before to them," Robin reminded both of them as they saddled up their horses.

Arriving at the mall, the two of them spotted the Hylian couple waiting at the mall entrance. Zelda waved them over as the horses trotted up to them.

"Hey," Robin called to them. "Ready to get going?"

"Yeah," Link's muffled voice said.

Robin then noticed that the green Hero's head was hardly visible over the mountain of shopping bags (barely) clutched between his arms. Lucina cleared her throat as a discreet way to stifle her snort. Zelda, on the other hand, also had a load of shopping bags though not as much.

"So, what'd you guys buy?" Lucina asked, after recovering.

"Everything," Zelda informed at the same time Link said, "Nothing."

After a brief awkward silence, the Hero added, "Girls are expensive."

That explained a lot.


"Calm down…calm down!...ORDER IN THE COURT!"

The anxious Smashers shut up and peered over at the red-capped plumber. All the shrunken Smashers were gathered in a tiny group in the living room, and according to Captain Falcon, Crazy Hand was the root of all this.

"How the hell can anyone calm down considering the current situation, plumber?" Bowser grouched.

"Preposterous!" Marth exclaimed. "Now I am entailed to procure my unmitigated wardrobe! What about this ignominious locus at this contemporary epoch…"

Ignoring the babbling prince, Mario assured the rest, "Relax. Our sole hope is that Robin, Lucina, Link, and Zelda are still out, and we will inform them as they arrive back to return us back to normal!"

Bowser Jr. scoffed. "How can we even get their attentions with our pipsqueak voice?" The little Koopa scowled at Mario.

Mario glared back and exclaimed, "Don't get sassy with me!"

Tossing insults back and forth with the other Smashers bawling hopelessly to each other, Dark Pit face-palmed and muttered, "Great. On my first day here, I'm already warped in a twisted incident."

"I advise you to get used to it. Very used to it," Pit advised.


Finally arriving back at the Smash Mansion, the two couples dismounted their steeds and placed them patiently back into their stables. Even before they stepped into the Smash Mansion, something was horribly off. It was quiet.

Too quiet.

"Where is everyone?" Zelda inquired nervously.

"I know!" Link blurted. "It's a prank." He kicked over a box, then turned over a bookshelf, and minced a couch with his Master Sword, each time screeching a degrading "HAH!"

"Uh, I don't think that's the case," Robin said, couch guts fluttering around him, making his white hair even whiter.

"Let's explore first and pick up any clues," Lucina suggested.


"They're back! THEY'RE BACK, DEAR ARCEUS!" Red fell onto his knees and whacked his forehead on the floor repeatedly. The other Smashers gave him odd looks, but the Trainer's words were true.

"How to get their attention?" Kirby piped up.

Mario snapped his fingers. "I got it!" He turned to the rest of the tiny Smashers. "Besides Pit and Dark Pit, the rest of us will go into the mansion's air vents for easy navigation and avoid getting crushed, mind you," he ordered.

Dark Pit, upon hearing this, scoffed obnoxiously. "What? Why me and Pitstain?"

Prepared, Mario replied, "Simply because you two can fly, and your job is to try to get the other four's attentions by flying up to eye level."

Dark Pit rolled his eyes while Pit clapped excitedly.

"Let's go on an adventure, Pittoo!" the white angel cheered. He grabbed Dark Pit's hands and twirled said fallen angel around while the latter's feet dragged across the ground stubbornly. Then letting go (with Dark Pit spiraling out of control), Pit announced, "All troops! Move out!" The Smashers dispersed.


The four walked closely together, in case this really was just a divine prank. Robin peeked behind a curtain while Lucina peered under a table. Zelda, however, had her attention on her squeezed palm that only grew tighter as the seconds past.

"Link," she said as she tapped on his shoulder.

Whipping around a little too quickly, the Hero replied, "Yea?"

"You're holding my hand a little too…tight."

"Oh, sorry." The grip loosened.

"…You're scared aren't you?"

"Of course not!"

"Oh yea? Boo!" Zelda shoved him from behind.

Jumping, Link retorted, "That was not funny" though he was smiling.

Meanwhile, not too far away, Robin was studying the ground closely. Hmmm, what were those ever so tiny imprints? A mouse? He stepped back to examine more prints as he bumped into something.

Stifling a gasp, he and Lucina whirled around simultaneously to face each other.

"Oh, it was just you," Lucina said, relieved.

Robin mocked annoyance and replied exaggeratedly, "Just me?" He sighed despairingly. "I thought I was worth more than that to you."

Lucina chuckled in return. "You should know."

Bang!

Simultaneously, the four abruptly shut up as the resonating sound echoed through the mansion…from the vents?

Zelda gulped. "What was that?"

BANG! The louder sound made them all jump.

"AAAAGGGHH!" a booming voice sounded from the vents.

"AAAHHHHH!" the four shrieked in return and scrambled incoherently in several directions to run away from this invisible ghost demon. Spooked, Robin blindly ran past a table, accidentally knocking one of Snake's grenades off it, the explosive rolling down onto the floor.


BOOM! Dark Pit and Pit hopped a little from the shock as something came crashing down right beside them.

"What the—"

The two angels came face to face with a giant, detonating, smoking grenade. "AAAHHHHHH!"

The two whirled around and sprinted as fast as their toothpick legs could carry them as the grenade continued to barrel on its merry way, only picking up speed.

"WE'RE GONNA BE PULP!" Pit screeched frantically.

Dark Pit, being smarter than his shrieking counterpart, dove out of the way of the rolling grenade. Dusting himself off, the fallen angel looked up just in time to see Pit trip over his own feet in front of the approaching explosive.

Dark Pit pondered his options quickly: To save him or not to save him? Then he thought, Well it'll be pretty hilarious to see him getting smashed to pulp…

Pit peered at the dark angel pleadingly. "HELP ME!"

Dark Pit put a hand on his chin and took his time thinking. The grenade was advancing ever so closer to the other cowering angel. Then Dark Pit realized, If he dies, then I will die, too!

With one swift movement, he jetted towards Pit and pulled him to safety.


"Man, someone needs to clean these air vents," Falco muttered, tripping over some dust.

"I'd be happy to wipe these vents with your tongue," Wolf sneered.

Falco gasped. "Take that back!"

"Or what?" Wolf jeered.

"Personally, I prefer the air!" A miniature blue Landmaster landed into the dusty air vent pipe.

"We're gonna have fun with this thing!"

"I wanna join the party, too!" Fox foolishly announced. "Landmaster!"

The three Landmasters fired at each other, making obvious noises in the vents.

"Now isn't the time for this!" Sonic warned fruitlessly before getting fully blasted in the face by a Landmaster projectile.

"AAAHHHHHH!" (the same scream the other four heard previously from the vents)


Two Hylians screamed as they ricocheted through the halls, twisting around each corner hastily. Together they plunged into a random room and locked it behind them.

After a few minutes calming their ragged breaths, Link dragged himself up from the tangled heap he was in before, and helped Zelda up as well. "You okay?" he asked worriedly.

"Yea, I'm fine," Zelda replied, dusting her dress off.

The two reassembled theirselves neatly on the floor next to each other.

"Man, I can't believe they got me again. This stupid prank," Link grouched.

"Are you sure it's actually a prank?"

"Positive."

After a brief silence, Zelda turned to Link and said formally, "Link, since it's actually quiet, may I request an ocarina concert?"

Surprised by the sudden casual speak, the Hero could only smile and reply, "As you wish, Princess."

Once the performances of the Song of Time, Lost Woods, Epona's Song, and ending it off with Zelda's Lullaby, the Hyrule princess applauded quietly and complimented, "That was very pleasurable!"

Link grinned and turned to her. "But do you know what's even more pleasurable?"

"Wha—" The kiss only gave her the littlest of shock as she returned it.


They ran together, hands clasped tightly, as far away from the noise as possible. Diving behind a dark (suggestive) corner, Robin and Lucina caught their breaths.

"Wow, we're getting freaked by an air vent crack," Lucina said sarcastically.

"Let's go out and continue loo—" She caught the thoughtful stare Robin was giving her. "Robin?"

"I kind of like it this way."

"Like what way?"

"The quiet. It's never…this quiet before."

Before Lucina could respond, the silver-haired swordsman pressed her against the wall and connected his lips with hers.


"That was a close one," Pit croaked, shaken by his close encounter with the grenade. "Why didn't you save me sooner?"

Dark Pit just glared and crossed his arms. "It was worth the look on your face."

Before retorting, something caught Pit's eye. "Look, it's Lucina!" he said excitedly, pointing at said swordswoman appearing a hundred times taller than them. "Come on, we gotta get her attention!"

Scowling, Dark Pit reluctantly followed the other angel.

"Start flapping," Pit said. He beat his wings and went on to fly to Lucina's height, Dark Pit doing the same.

Gosh, where the heck is everyone? Lucina thought bitterly as she scanned under the bed and out the window into the garden. Not a soul (aside from Master Hand and Crazy fighting, but that was a given).

There's no way everyone could have disappeared into thin air—oh wait, they can. Peering blankly out, her mind wandering back to the moment with Robin, still muddled in her own thoughts, Lucina heard an annoying buzzing by her ear.

Ugh, stupid flies. She dismissively swept her hand by her ear to swat away the "fly." A very quiet "Ow!" was heard, but not to the swordswoman as she continued to peer outside.

The fly came again by her ear, and Lucina batted it away again. The third time it came, she was fed up. Lucina scooped up a nearby magazine (X-rated, who knows who was reading this) and rolled it up into a makeshift flyswatter.

"Alright, fly, I've had enough of you!" she declared and scanned the room for the tiny black dot. Finally, her eyes landed on a dark flying thing.

"You…," she growled. Sneaking up, she swiped the magazine with all her might at the nuisance, then swiped it another time, then another.

"Shit!" Dark Pit muttered unpleasantly as he narrowly dodged the fourth swipe. "A little help here!"

Pit just smirked and replied, safely hidden behind a lamp, "A little revenge!"

The determined look on Lucina's face was prominent as she whacked a fifth time, finally meeting her target.

"OUCH!" Dark Pit yelped as he spiraled off course and plummeted to the ground. Landing painfully, he barely managed to sit up before Lucina scooped him up, ready to dispose of him, before noticing something off.

"Wait…you don't look like a fly," she murmured. Peering closer, she saw the tiny face of Dark Pit scowling painfully at her.

Nearly dropping him (to the hard floor again), she exclaimed, "Dark Pit? Why are you like this? Where is everyone else?"

"You could have killed me!" was the first thing he spat out.

"Oh, uh, sorry," the swordswoman said sheepishly.

Pit suddenly appeared on her palm as well. "Crazy Hand let loose one of Zelda's potions, and we all shrunk!"

"We have to tell the others," Lucina concluded.


"I'm getting claustrophobic," Little Mac stated, turning a little green. Marth immediately evacuated his spot from beside the boxer.

Pikachu sneezed, little sparks jumping from his cheeks.

"Get me out of this hell," Samus growled, swiping her hand across her face to clear the dust.

Suddenly, the vent shook. Everyone quieted.

"What's that rumbling?" Mega Man gulped.

The rumbling grew from a tiny vibration to an earthquake for the shrunken Smashers. The kids immediately clung onto Ganondorf like leeches. Pac-Man slammed into Yoshi, as the other Smashers also had no control over their own feet, crashing painfully into one another.

And then, the wind came.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

The Smashers all screamed their lungs out as a warm air swept through the air vents, flushing them through the whole tube, whipping them at every corner, possibly cracking skulls, twisting through curves and sharp corners. A foot went into a face. A knee went into a rib. An elbow rammed into a crotch.

The agonized shrieks echoed through the metal pipes until finally, with one finally powerful gust, the Smashers were thrust out into the open from the cracks of an air vent, landing on a brown boot.

Zelda peered down at the tiny moving Smashers. "…Guys?" she said.

Tiny voices erupted from the little crowd, waving their short arms.

"It's us, Zelda!"

"Got a reverse potion?"

"Help us!"

Instead of obeying their pleas, the Hyrule princess promptly scooped them up and with a wide smile, declared, "You guys are perfect for my doll house!"

"WHAT?" Dedede screeched as they were all hauled to another room and dumped into a plastic living room.

Kirby, his hunger preventing him from distinguishing the real mansion, went over to the pink refrigerator. When did they repaint the fridge? he thought.

Opening it, he grabbed a plastic pie and inhaled it all. "Tastes…different…" the puffball noted.

"I need a nap," Snake declared and climbed up the pink stairs and crashed onto the frilly, yellow bed, passing out in a flash.

Exhausted, the Smashers decided to just live with this for now.


"HAH!" Link screeched maniacally as he chopped a table in half. Seeing no one under, he swung his blade around to meet a dresser, effectively splintering it into halves.

"I won't be fooled by this nonsense!" the Hero proclaimed. "Come out and show yourselves! I already found out this is a prank, so you lose!"

He chopped a bed in half, then the closet door, then the stack of Master Hand's bills (oh boy), and finally, he whipped around to chop a random piece of wood in half behind him.

Removing the two severed wood planks in front of her, Lucina's face appeared behind them as she scowled, "I knew this would happen so I came with reinforcements. I was right."

Link rolled his eyes as he sheathed his Master Sword. "Exposed any of these pranksters?" he asked briskly.

"Newsflash: It's not a prank," Lucina said flatly as she held open her palm, presenting the miniature Pit and Dark Pit.

Link gasped, his eyes widened, and he opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Finally he mustered, "YOU GUYS ARE PRANKING ME WITH PUPPETS NOW, AREN'T YOU?"

And so, the green Hero resumed swinging his sword again, obliterating everything in his sight.


"Let's think this over now, Crazy."

"Bro, I don't have any apologies left!"

"I know, I know, but we must go back inside and return the Smashers back to normal!"

"But I'm too embarrassed!"

Crazy Hand was seen wedged fingers-first in a berry bush, the wrist jutting out, as if he was trying to hide. Robin stood near them on the gravel road next to the garden, wondering how to get their attention.

"It's okay, Crazy. We just have to return them back, and all is forgiven!" appeased Master Hand.

"*Sniff. I'm so ashamed—"

"Ahem," Robin cleared his throat.

Master Hand whirled around to face(?) the swordsman as Crazy also removed himself from the bush and turned as well.

"What happened to all the Smashers?" Robin asked patiently.

"They've all been shrunken by a potion Crazy let loose," Master Hand informed hopelessly.

The swordsman raised an eyebrow. "So then, aren't you capable on returning them back to normal by yourself?"

Master Hand seemed to perk, and then he snapped his fingers. "Why didn't I think of that before?"

As Robin facepalmed, Master Hand flicked his fingers, and the Smash Mansion glowed briefly before settling down once again.


Where is that troublemaking fox? Captain Falcon thought resentfully as he searched high and low for said anthropomorphic fox. After returning to his original size, he had searched up the words Fox had called him, and they were in no way praising, admiring, or flattering.

Finally, he turned the corner to the kitchen and saw Fox downing a glass of juice.

"I've had it with you!" the racer screeched, thrusting an accusing finger at him. "FALCOOOON—"

"No, wait, please—!"

"PAWNCH!"


A/N: Fox really isn't that smart is he...(well, most aren't that smart anyway...)

There you go, battlefield4us! Crazy Hand shrinks everyone but Robin, Lucina, Zelda, and Link...XD

Once again, thanks for your reviews! I read all of them, including the Guests, and I will be doing the rest of the requests next time. It's coming, so hold tight!

Thanks to my sister for some ideas :D (she made me write this part)

One more note: The next chapter won't be for a while, because, well, there's school, homework (PROJECTS SUCKS), but I may be able to write little parts like this one until it's fully written. School really drags down the rate of these chapters. :(

See ya!

-prowessMaster44