Larry woke with a start, for a moment thinking he'd dreamt the knock on his door. When the door buzzer went a second later, he quickly threw on the light, rubbing his face and sliding his feet into his slippers.

He shuffled out to the front door, checking his watch. 2am? Who would be… - his heart skipped a beat – Piper!? Maybe she'd realized the mess she was in dating a druggie lesbian and had come over to be consoled, maybe even to reunite...? He could hardly contain himself as he wrenched open the door.

His hopeful gaze dropped to the floor as the smell of burning paper reached his nose. "What the…hell! Oh god! Jesus! FIRE!" he shouted to the empty hall. Without thinking, he stamped his foot hurriedly on the brown paper bag in front of him. The smell promptly changed to a much richer, sickening scent as he stared in horror at the brown splatters across the floor and over his slippers.

"Larry! The fuck? Oh god…what…is…that smell." Polly had heard the commotion out in the hallway and was standing in her nightgown a safe distance from Larry, a look of horror plastered on her face.

"There was shit in that bag! Someone left a bag of shit outside my door and lit it on fire!" Larry blustered incredulously.

"And you fell for it? That's like the oldest trick in the book!" chuckled Polly briefly before returning her hand to cover her mouth and nose from the pungent aroma.

"Since when is shit in a bag on fire a thing?!" Larry grumbled, his face ashen.

"Since high school. Looks – and smells – like you pissed someone off young Larry. Ok well now the emergency is over I'm going back to bed. Good luck with…that." Polly gestured in his general direction giving him a sympathetic shrug before hurriedly shutting the door, escaping the stench.

"Yeah thanks Pol." Larry huffed staring despairingly at the carnage in front of him.

Who the hell would have done this? Was that creepy guy Aydin playing a sick joke? He wasn't happy that Larry had done some digging? But how would he know? What if this was just a warning shot. Is this what playing with the big boys meant? His heartbeat escalated and then shot to the ceiling as he heard his phone ring.

Without thinking, he wheeled around and ran inside, skidding and groaning as he realized he was trekking poo through his apartment. He snatched up his phone, scanning the caller id. What the…

"…Piper?"

"Hello Larry. You sound like you're already awake. It's very early…or is it very late? I don't know - tomayto, tomahto…"

Larry's face scrunched in confusion. Something was not right. "Uh…yeah actually I am awake. Someone….uh, it's a little crazy…don't worry…"

"What? Someone sent you something you didn't want?"

Piper listened to the silence on the other end as the penny dropped.

"Wait. You did this? What the fuck! Piper! Why, how…wh…" Larry blustered, staring miserably down at his shitty slippers.

"Oh you know I figured I'd repay the favour. You sent me some bullshit in an unmarked envelope so I thought I'd send you basically the same. This is a fun game isn't it?"

"Piper. Jesus. Ok fine – I'm sorry about the envelope. I knew you wouldn't listen to me so I had to get it to you anonymously. Maybe it was gutless…"

"No. It was just creepy and stalker-y. Nothing out of the ordinary from the new you." Piper snapped. "You did go to extra effort this time, I'll give you that. How long did it take you to photoshop that mug shot? Perhaps you're in the wrong career – maybe you could work for the tabloids instead? Add some cellulite to a few photos on slow editions…"

"What? You think it's fake? Wow, she really didn't tell you anything did she? I knew it! Piper it's real. I didn't photoshop anything. Are you serious? You think I would…ok yes, look I've been a bit stressed out and I shouldn't have followed you the other night– I'm sorry. But I'm glad I did because, I met a guy – he knows stuff. That's how I found out…"

"A guy? Wow Larry. Great journalistic source. You really have been drinking too much. 'Guys in bars' generally don't know much about anything except being losers..." she stopped short as Larry made a strangled sound.

"Argh Piper! LISTEN TO ME. They're bad people. Alex is involved with bad people. I was…I am worried about you. You have to believe me."

Piper wavered for a moment. She'd heard Larry talk passionately like this before – suddenly she remembered that one of the things she'd liked about him from the start was the fact that he couldn't lie. Was absolutely terrible at it. But then again, he had followed her the other night so did she really even know who he was?

"No Larry. I don't have to believe anything you say. I'm serious – stop messing around in my life or I'll make yours messier than it already is, figuratively and literally."

"Wait Piper! Look it up for yourself - 1975-0425!"

Piper brought the phone back up to her ear. She knew that number. Her mouth dried as her brain whirred. Alex's dresser – the piece of paper behind the photo… Never again.

Larry listened intently relieved he hadn't heard the dial tone yet "Piper? Are you there? That was her prison number, 1975-0425. Alex Vause – Litchfield prison. You can look it up and see for yourself." He paused unhappily – he felt like crap all of a sudden, and it wasn't just the fact he was basically caked in the stuff. "I'm sorry Pipes…"

The phone went dead and Larry dropped it on his bed and stared numbly in the mirror, muttering to his reflection. "This is what you've become Larry – literally shit."

He jumped as a banging on his door sounded again.

"What the…" he sighed wearily looking down at his feet and the brown trail through his house. The door banged again louder this time.

"Fine, fine…I'm COMING." He shuffled back to the front door wrenching it open, "Piper you've made your poin-" Larry stopped mid sentence as his saucered eyes met the un-amused and disgusted eyes of Alex Vause. A wild haired woman standing next to her was the first to break the uneasy silence.

"I'd tell you that shit was about to get real for you dude, but it kinda looks like it already has."

Larry took a faltering step back, holding up his hands feebly "Stay back or I'll call the cops!"

Nicky laughed, nudging Alex "Get a load of this. I think he's scared of the big bad lesbians. Listen Super-Turd, the cops are gonna take one look at you and haul you off to the mental ward."

Alex interrupted, keen to get the information and get out as soon as possible. "We're not here to hurt you Larry. Although you probably deserve an ass-kicking. I just want some information. I think you owe me that."

Larry sighed and held his door open as the women gingerly stepped around the poo. "What the hell happened here anyway?" Nicky asked, pulling her jumped up above her nose.

"Piper." Larry said glumly, leaving his slippers by the door.

Alex couldn't help but feel amused at the thought of Piper pranking Larry so badly. Mind you, maybe she was planning the same for her. She made a mental note to check the fire extinguisher in her apartment building…

The women stayed standing as Larry dropped to the couch clearly exhausted. They didn't intend to be there long. The smell in Larry's apartment was sickening enough but Alex had also made Nicky promise to only let her stay long enough to get the information she needed.

"How did you find out?" Alex asked simply, her voice hard.

Larry looked down at his hands, "I met a guy, he knew about you…about the club. He basically told me what to look for – it was all pretty easy to find."

"Name." Alex barked.

"Why should I tell you that? Why does it matter, it's all true right? I don't want any trouble…"

"Shut up dude. In case you're stupid, it looks like you've already got some trouble. Just tell her the name." Nicky said dryly.

Larry sighed, "Aydin. But keep me out of your druggie turf war ok?"

He eyed Alex warily, not quite able to hide his anger or hurt pride.

"I'm not sorry I did it you know. I understand why you're mad but Piper had a right to know who and what she was getting involved with. I'm guessing from the shit on my shoes she was pretty shocked by the whole thing."

Alex's face hardened, "I'm guessing the shit on your shoes is a polite request to stay the fuck out of her life once and for all. If it were me sending you the same message I'm not sure the damage would be something you could scrub off…"

"Yo, Vause – chill." Nicky murmured, feeling the taller woman next to her tense and extend her spine.

Larry swallowed, raising his hands "I get it. I'm the bad guy. But you weren't exactly honest with her is all." He paused, trying to word things in a way that wouldn't garner another threat. "Look, I…care about Piper. I love her ok? I didn't want her making a mistake - "

Alex scoffed, "Oh because you can't accept the fact that you were a mistake Larry? I'm not perfect but I haven't tried to manipulate Piper to be with me."

"Uh really?! Maybe you haven't directly lied but I'm pretty sure a drug conviction and prison time is right up there with genital herpes in terms of important pre-relationship confessions!" he spat, unable to help himself. "I mean, Christ! Are you still a drug dealer? Huh?! Are you going to pimp Piper out to the drug lords who need a sweetener!?"

Alex launched forward as Nicky jumped in front of her, facing Larry as she pushed Alex back toward the door. "Ooookay. You my friend have a serious death wish. And Stretch, you need to cool your jets."

Alex pushed off her holding her hands up and wrenching the door open. "It's fine. Let's go. I can't stand to be around this pathetic sight any longer." She paused, watching Larry standing miserably in his lounge room.

"Piper is a grown up Larry. She's not a helpless kitty stuck up a tree. She knows what she wants and can look after herself. However you want to dress it up, what you did was try to control her and meddle in her life. If you care so much, then stay the fuck away." She paused, looking at him with pity. "You can't always get what you want dude. Maybe no one's ever told you that. "

"Wait." Larry's voice leapt out before he could stop it. "I – I know ok? You're right. Happy? You're right. I have to let her go – I will. I have. Just...please promise – she'll be safe?"

Alex sighed turning back and relenting as she saw the genuine pleading in his eyes, "If she ever talks to me again…yes, she'll be safe." Alex ignored the pang of fear she felt at the thought of not speaking to Piper again and worse, her not being safe.

She took a step back into the room, dropping her voice "Not that it's any of your business – but drugs are not a part of my life anymore, nor anyone around me. Clearly your research didn't tell you that. On the other hand, that guy, Aydin, the one you involved in all this – well he's a different story. If I were you, I'd stay well away from him. But hey, you're a big man right? You know how to handle situations...clearly." She nodded at the stained carpet and walked out followed by a chuckling Nicky.


Piper sat in bed cradling her laptop as she stared at the news article she'd found. Her lover's face stared back at her. She couldn't help but appreciate her striking beauty even as tears welled in her eyes.

Exhausted, she tossed her computer off to the side and flicked her bedside light off. Her mind tumbled with thoughts until she finally drifted off to sleep. That night, she dreamt of nothing – deep, dark nothing.

She left early for a run the next morning, punishing her lungs as she sucked in icy air and pounded her legs around their usual route. She wanted to exercise the heaviness out of her but instead she just felt numb as she robotically showered and dressed for work.

She was thankful to miss seeing Cal, leaving him a thank you note and promising him dinner that night. She arrived early to PoPi and had already rearranged the front window display by the time Polly arrived.

"Well this is a surprise. I thought you'd taken up a new night time career in pranking Pipes…" Polly joked before she caught sight of her friend's face.

"Uh oh. That's your serious face. Sit. Talk." She dragged Piper over to the front counter and listened quietly as words trickled and then gurgled out of her friend.

"So, you were right. I should have found out more about her before I let myself…" Piper summarised, the last words dying in her mouth.

"Oh Pipes. I'm sorry." Polly squeezed her hand. She'd been wary of Alex but if she was honest, she'd never seen her friend so purely happy before meeting her. "I can't quite believe I'm saying this, but maybe you should talk to her? Like actually let her talk?"

Piper closed her eyes, suddenly bone tired from the drama of the last twenty-four hours. "I don't know Pol…she hasn't even tried to call or text me…"

"Pipes. Your temper is pretty formidable. I'm guessing you probably scared her shitless! Speaking of which…I think Larry has finally got the message. Please tell me that was dog poo?"

Piper released a much-needed chortle as she nodded, "Of course! I made Cal go and find some at the park – my poor brother!"

"See? You're scary when you're psycho!" she nudged her friend, "Think about it. Talking to Super Cunt might help with closure if nothing else."

"I don't want to think about anything right now. Let's get a head start on the next Barney's order. And please only talk to me about boring baby stuff for the rest of the day ok?"

"Deal."

Polly stuck to her word and the women only talked work and babies for the rest of the day. It was only on the walk home that Piper's mind drifted back to Alex. She replayed her last conversation with her. Well, it wasn't really a conversation. She felt a burn of regret as she remembered yelling at Alex to stay away – the look of confused pain on the woman's face.

She reached into her pocket for her phone but felt something dry in there instead. She pulled the object out and stopped walking as she stared at the leaf she'd caught a few weeks before. She'd taken it off the fridge and had carried it around like a good luck charm since…Alex. It was a crinkled and crumbly – a terrible metaphor for how her heart was feeling. But still…there it was.

Putting the leaf carefully back in her pocket, she found her phone in the other pulling it out. Suddenly an image of the woman in Alex's apartment flashed up followed by Alex's mug shot. She felt a jolt of pain and shoved her phone away, gripping her coat around her and walking firmly as a light rain pattered down over her.


Alex sat in her quiet apartment weighing her phone in one hand and her mom's photo in the other. She took a deep steadying breath and started to type:

To Piper:

Pipes. You have a right to be angry but I have a right to explain. When you're ready, please let me?

She paused, before continuing to type words from her favourite book she'd shared with Piper only a few weeks before.

"This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?"

She quickly swiped the fat tear on her cheek away. She typed a final line and, gathering all her strength, pressed send.

You know where to find me. I hope you do. Love, Alex.


A/N – A little Christmas Eve pressie for you all – sorry it's not exactly Vauseman fairytale times at the moment but hopefully it gave you a bit of a chuckle…ahhh Larry. I think he might have finally got the message! By the way, the quote at the end is from Jeanette Winterson's "Written on the Body" in case anyone missed that.

Dear readers – I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, "let your hearts be light." Thank you for spending time reading and sharing your thoughts about this little tale. There's a bit more of a journey to come so I hope you stay with me. I'll be back as soon as I can. xx