Chapter 29: Love is ordinary

Once Craig had re-explained the situation, Tweek finally remembered the note. When he got home he decided that he could brave reading the thing because after all, Craig was now officially his friend and probably wouldn't have left a horrible remark on the scrap piece of notepaper…he hoped.

Tweek ended up spending hours looking for the thing. At first he remembered putting it in his desk draw but, since it wasn't there, he checked all of his other draws. After that, he decided that his room needed a good clean anyway and ended up pulling out all of his furniture, hovering, dusting, cleaning microscopic pieces of dirt barely seen by the human eye and, of course, wiping off all of the coffee stains on every surface in his room.

By the time he had finished everything he was knackered but he really wanted to find the note. He spend several minutes lying on his bed, thinking of all of the different ways that it could have disappeared. Maybe: his Mum took it, he threw it out, the aliens took it or when Craig realised that Tweek STILL hadn't read it he got pissed off and sent a ninja into Tweek's house to locate and destroy the piece of paper because it turned out that Craig had written the answer to life's problems between the lines that Tweek had never bothered to read.

"Why God, why? I-I'll never know now." Tweek exclaimed to the heavens, lifting his arms with his message and then slamming them back down again as the weakness within him prevented him from wasting precious energy. In doing this, he knocked over his bedside table and, lo and behold, there was a scrap of paper underneath it.

"What the fuck? I s-swear I took that out."

"You did but, being the pussy you are, you didn't think to double check."

"Gah! Gnomes!"

"Yeah, yeah kid. We get it. Whatever. Fuck you." The gnome stated while opening the door. "Bye anyway." He finished, leaving.

"Nggh…" Tweek hated the gnomes, he thought of all the trouble they had caused him and his blood boiled in his veins.

Abruptly, the door swung open and the same gnome from before sauntered back in, wincing at the loud bang sound he had created. "Oh and by the way pussy," he restarted, "I think that kid wants you, if you get what I mean."

"WHAT?" The gnome winked and left once more.

Tweek stared at the empty doorway and then decided to get up and close the door…just in case. He picked up his bedside table after grabbing the note from the floor.

He opened the note and read it.

"Since God doesn't love you, I think you kind of deserve this $4.99 don't you? If not, that's cool, I'm sure there's somebody out there who will love you better than God ever could and that when you're with them money won't be a problem. Unless, of course, they sell themselves into slavery for you.

I can see someone doing something like that. Love's a weird thing.

Craig."

Tweek looked up from the note and up at God once again, "Nggh, I c-can't let the only person who l-loves me sell themselves into slavery. Gah! Nooooo!"