(in which we go from over here to over there)

Now, to figure out how to get Meiling from over here to over there… to over anywhere!

...Alright, that might be pushing it, but still.

Staring at the wall in front of me, and at the manor's newly constructed front, I put on a brave face and start doing a jig in place.

"...Your mannerisms are worrying me." Meiling commented, staring warily at me being a weirdo.

"Yeah, well, I'm a chuckster!" I exclaim. I sit with my legs crossed on Meiling's torso, and she…

Apparently doesn't mind, since she's not saying anything. Just gotta make sure not to poke the-

"By the way, you touch anywhere you shouldn't, and I'll probably come out of my half-comatose state to kick your ass." Meiling put it simply.

"I kno~w, I kno~w, friend." I wave her off. "By the way, I'm a chuckster." I restated.

"I don't know what that means." Meiling deadpans.

"It means I've got a degree in chucksterology!"

Meiling shakes her head. "I guess I'm not finding out…"

I slam the ground in front of us with the Bawmber.

Blam!

I fly off Meiling, but she's left sitting there. I fly into the wall.

"Oof!"

...I slowly slide to the floor.

"Good one." Meiling commented. "Really breaking new ground, here."

I would have to find a different approach…!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Returning from the mansion with paper and a quill from Patchy- which I had to freakin' fight life and limb for, mind you- but let us not get into that…!

I shudder.

Anyway… I had to get this show on the road!

Sitting down next to Meiling, I laid the paper out on the grass…

"Alright, friend, here's what we's gonna do…"

I start drawing.

"...I can't really see like this." Meiling comments.

"We shall create the device."

"...What?" She didn't know what to think of that response.

Sakuya appeared! She pops in next to Meiling and leans over her.

"...I don't know what you're doing, but the mistress requests you at the moment. Do make haste."

"Wait, hold-"

Sakuya was gone.

Meiling sighs. "...Well, whatever 'this device' is, you'd better make it quickly."

I grin. "Alright, yo. Fuck waitin' for Remilia to get to ya on her own; Brad's gonna deliver to her!"

I stand up from the plans. "In that case, we won't need plans!"

Meiling looked at me- as best she could, anyway. "I trust that uh… you know what you're doing?"

Yeah, no. You know I don't, I know I don't.

"...Maybe!"

Gotta instill some confidence!

Meiling'd be shaking her head- if she could.

Cue the montage of trying to build this thing!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

I had a frame of wood sticks set up around Meiling, and I'd tied some ropes to her legs.

"Knock knock, open up the door, it's real!" I shout, trying to find a way to make the wooden sticks work as some form of support beam.

Meiling looks concerned. "...I'd prefer you didn't sound like you're losing it while building… this."

I run off to grab this large chunk of metal I found in the woods near the manor. It was basically a big, shiny rock, and I couldn't do shit with it.

It was still shiny though, so it was good for morale.

I slowly stomp back to Meiling, carrying it slowly.

"It's… the non-stop… pop-pop… of stainless stee~l!" I drop the giant metal chunk next to Meiling, and it makes a nice thunk in the dirt, slightly embedding itself.

"...I'm worried." Meiling restates.

I start air-humping. "Work hard gettin' busy with it!"

"No. Making me watch sex will not get me to move, believe it or not." Meiling deadpans.

I run off to find another large chunk of useless steel. I kinda would like to know why there's a bunch of steel just around, but that's probably a different convolutedly long tale.

I slowly stomp back to Meiling with it…

I continued reciting lyrics in a strained voice. "...Damn right… and I'll do it again…"

Thunk!

"..." Meiling just stares into the air.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

I now had some tall pole things made of bundled sticks and shit! I also summoned more of those wooden blocks to make a giant pile, and then I climbed up them precariously to tie the ropes to the top of the wall's spikes. On the other side of the gate, I had the two giant steel chunks lying next to each other. I was gonna use it like a pulley thing, or something.

"Brad's gonna deliver to ya…" I nod, satisfied at the work so far. The sun was going down, by now…

Meiling was now lying in a comfortable position. "...You know, I'm pro~bably good enough to go myself, now."

I turn to her. "What, and ruin the plot?"

She smiled. "Yeah. Mistress can wait. I'm still relaxing…" With that, Meiling stretched. "...I know I didn't ask earlier, but what's with the ropes?"

"Reasons." I elucidate. I look back at the pulley system, wondering how the hell I was going to make it work…

The idea was that the shaft of sticks was going to be like an elevator, but I abandoned that idea halfway because Meiling's weight would probably break them no matter what. Instead, I was going to make gravity work for me with this pulley system. Hopefully two giant chunks of steel would be enough to pull Meiling up and over the walls.

Oh, right, I also had to get Meiling over the spikes somehow. I mean, I don't think she'd be hurt badly if she got skewered a little, but I don't think she'd be happy with that. Y'know, the most important part of a delivery is not breaking the goods, so…

...Also, Meiling seems to be immune to knockback, if my attempt at exploding next to her had proven anything. Or she just had really high resistance… or maybe I just did really low knockback.

"...Reasons, huh." Meiling yawns. "...Wake me up when you've got more reasons, or something…"

She closes her eyes.

I yawn myself, but shake it off. Freakin'...

Anyway…!

I clumsily clamber up the wooden block stack near the spikes at the top. I had tried to stack over them, but that'd involve way too many blocks. Probably.

Wait, wasn't I supposed to get her to Remilia?

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

It was the dead of night. I was forced to light piles of wooden blocks on fire to make light; the night was so dark. I blame the clouds. If it began raining, I woulda freakin' got blown away.

I also went crazy with the Bawmber in the woods to break some rocks. If I wanted to pull Meiling up to Remilia's room, I was gonna need a lot of rocks.

It's a good thing the wooden blocks take a piss poor amount of mana to make, because I made a fucking lot of them. I even had to take a break halfway through to exist and uh… let my mana regen? I have no idea what my regen rate is.

Meiling was comfortably snoozing at the base of Mount Blockmore. The incline went straight up and over the gate. I had used a multitude of stick bundles to try and contain the block slope but they eventually proved ineffectual. I couldn't really upgrade, because as far as I was concerned, stone was out of my jurisdiction. Don't even get me started on metals…

Continuing, the incline didn't stop. It kept going up to the recently constructed roof level of the manor. Just by the way, there wasn't a roof yet- the hallways of this level that were constructed were open to the kinda brisk night air. When I said roof level, I mean the construction made the front face of the manor.

I also needed like, ten rope extensions. Remilia's room was quite some way from the manor gates.

Speaking of which, she was also moving into her new room on the top floor! Walking along the temporary plywood paths where the roof would eventually be, I looked down into Remilia's room…

She looks up at me. "...What the hell are you doing up there?"

I point at her. "I'm gon' deliver to ya."

"...What?..." She shakes her head. "...Just don't break anything. Or anyone. Except yourself. I'd be perfectly fine if you broke yourself."

...I don't think I could blatantly build into Remilia's room… but I cou~ld stop just before her door.

I backtrack to the bit of platforming before her door. Alright, all I need to do is set the pulley system up here, and maybe make like a plywood ramp or something.

Scratch that last thing, because outside of bundling ropes and making blocks, I can't build worth shit!

I'll just uh… try and guide her along the platforms already here, or something.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

It is time to activate the device!

I drop one of the steel chunks on the pulley, and it lowers slightly. Woo!

I drop another one and it lowers slightly. Um…

...After dropping a few more, progress becomes more and more tangible.

I hear the ropes move, and I also hear the unpleasant noises of Meiling sliding up the slope of wooden blocks up the entire side of the manor. She reaches the top-

Thud…

...and flops onto the plywood. She rips across the paths-

Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang!

...taking out various metal frames on the way.

Eventually, she finally reaches the pulley system, and flies over the gap into Remilia's room, clipping the wall-

Bam!

-as she did so.

"H-hah!?" Remilia jumps up from her tea table.

I look in, and Meiling was still sleeping. That's a job well done, yo!

Remilia looked down at her. "...Took you long enough."

...I wanted to find a way to jump in, so I just carefully edged my way along until I got to the side Remilia's bed was at, and hopped in.

Crea~k!

...It didn't break. Hmm.

"...I take it you know why Meiling was literally a day late from when I expected her? I even took a nap in between the time I called for her and the time she actually got here. She's not even awake!" Remilia gestures to the sleeping gate guard.

"I had to find a way to get her from there to here without carrying her!" I place my arms at my hips proudly!

"Why wouldn't you just carry her?" Remilia asks the obvious question.

I wave an arm around. "...You seein' this? These arms, they're like noodles!"

...I mean, I guess they weren't that bad, but I wasn't givin' anyone tickets to the gun show anytime soon.

Remilia blinks. "...How did you even do it, then?"

I grin. "Very carefully."

"Sakuya!"

She appears! It's like Sakuya-on-demand television, yo.

"Yes, Mistress?"

Remilia points at me. "Explore the method he used to get Meiling inside."

"Understood."

Sakuya gets fancy and teleports in front of me when she very easily coulda just walked. She stares at me expectantly.

"...Look outside."

She's gone.

...I fold my arms.

She's back!

"..." Sakuya looks immensely conflicted, eyebrows furrowed.

...Remilia looks at her. "Sakuya? Did you find anything out?"

She nods.

"...How did he do it, then?"

"Very carefully." Sakuya explains.

Remilia pouts. "U~gh… You too? Fine, I'll go see for myself, then!"

She moves to the door, and slams it behind her as she leaves.

"...I'm not cleaning that up, by the way." Sakuya adds once Remilia is gone. "I already cleaned up that last catastrophe you made of the halls. Helped clean, rather, since a team was required to rework that bit of hallway you did. This time we're just going to need a landfill to dump all that wood."

I shrug. "Doesn't this place have a boiler room? Just burn it in there, you'll be fine."

She nods. "I suppose."

Remilia returns before long. Wordlessly, she moves to her tea table.

"...Mistress?"

She turns to Sakuya. "I don't even know, Sakuya. Meiling'll clean it up when she wakes up, with the aid of you." Remilia points to me. "Yes, you. You somehow put them all there, so you can take them back."

To be honest, I'd really rather not!... Besides, I'm sure Meiling can just throw them into Gensokyo's aether or something for her morning workout, so I don't think I'll need to actually help her.

"Sure." I nod gingerly.

"Good."

...Remilia looks for a tea cup when there wasn't one, then pauses. "...Sakuya, could you fetch me some tea?"

Pfft.

"As you wish, Mistress."

In a blink, Remilia has her tea cup with tea in it.

...Sip.

I have spent way too much time in the sipping lounge! I need to see more places in Gensokyo!

I look up into the pitch black sky.

Maybe not tonight, but tomorrow morning I gots to go somewhere and explore! Somewhere that's not the human village!

Now, to find some sleeping arrangements…

I try crawling under Remilia's bed.

"...What are you- no. No, get out of there."

Sakuya drags me out from under the bed by my ankles.

"...Daw." I pout.

"Thank you, Sakuya." Remilia goes back to her tea.

Sip.

...

I stand, and gingerly approach the bed. Sakuya appears in my way.

"I do not believe that would be within Mistress' best interests."

I furrow my brows. "What, she doesn't like sleeping on the couch?"

Remilia pipes in. "No, I do not, in fact, like to sleep on haphazard furniture like you do."

I blink as if astonished. "But, Remilia, you've slept in coffins before, right?"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

I land outside Remilia's door.

"Sakuya, make sure he sleeps anywhere but a bed tonight." Remilia smirks at me as she slams the door.

Sakuya appears next to me, probably to see out that punishment.

Pfft. I was planning on curling up on one of the hallway sofas anyway…

Why does the hallway need sofas, anyway? The fairies will probably just become one with them and freakin' destroy them or something.

...Though, now you realize, I must sleep on the hallway sofas in the most extravagant manner possible.

I move up to one and begin sliding it down the hall. I'm stopped by an opposing force, which actually pushes me back with ease.

Looking up, I see that Sakuya is pushing against the other side of the sofa.

"You're not about to disturb the hallway on a whim. At least, not the hallway immediately outside the Mistress' quarters." Sakuya explains to me.

...I'm still kinda surprised at how Sakuya freakin' overpowered me. Her forearms are like… are like mine! Mine aren't that great! How's she so freakin'...

I throw my hands up in defeat. "Alright- oof!"

Sakuya shoved the sofa into me, forcing me to fall onto it.

"My apologies."

Some of the fancy scarlet pillows on each end of the sofa fall over. Oh no.

I attempt to get up, but suddenly a large force is dumped on my back.

"Wooaah!" I call out, flailing my arms outward. Looking around, I see locks of Meiling's bright hair.

Meiling musta been dumped on my back- and in a very unsatisfying position, too! Our backs are touching, so no marshmallow action… and she's too freakin' heavy for me to think of budging.

I look outward, and see Sakuya bending over to look at me.

"Just relax. I'm tired, too. No shenanigans tonight." Sakuya instructs me in a hushed tone. "Besides, I'm killing two birds with one stone like this."

No shenanigans!? I'd object, but I've been kinda bamboozled here. I suppose I was tired after all that freakin' shenaniganry earlier, but yo… I still had fight in me!

"If you need help… don't."

With that, Sakuya leaves. I snort.

If you need help… just don't. Stop needing help.

...I try squirming a bit. I think I could get out from under Meiling with a bit of effort, but why pass up this opportunity? The couch was surprisingly velvety, too, so~...

If only Meiling were a little lighter, so it wouldn't feel like I was getting crushed by like, another mattress…

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Some fluffles and I sit around an egg made of dirt.

"its the legendary sand bird egg!" One of the fluffles stands and raises its fins.

Aww.

It hatches, and a fluffle pokes its head out, extending its fins. It's all dusty.

I grab it and hug it, and nuzzle it. Dust whirls around in the air as I shove my nose into the fluffle's forehead…

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

I sneeze. "Achaah! Oof…"

Aaauugh, morning grogginess…

"Legendary sand bird…" I murmur. It was cuddly.

...I was on the floor, apparently. Sitting up, I see that Meiling had booted me off and claimed the couch for herself.

It was day now, if the roof's absence told me anything.

I stretch. "Welcome, world…!"

It's time to do the things…!

...I feel like there was something I was supposed to do. Eh. Y'know, that nagging feeling where it's like 'son you forgot something'. I'll probably remember when I'm like, half a mile away from the mansion.

I begin to make my way from the manor…

In the halls, I pass lady luck!

"Hello, friend!" I wave at Seven.

She jumps. "H-...Hey."

I approach her. "Fluffnuggets, huh?"

She looks befuddled at my hypothetical question. "Uh… I guess?"

I nod gingerly. "Yeah…" I look down at the ground, as if crestfallen.

"So, how've you been- how's the weather- who are you?" I bombard her with questions.

"A-ah, good- great- um…?" She gets backed up by the question surge.

"...What are you!?" I yell, backing away fearfully.

She freezes. "W-wait, stop! I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Aaaa~h, aaaa~h!" Aaaaa~h, aaaa~h!

I flee back into the halls!

"No! Come back! Please!" She tries to dash after me…

She actually flies after me, and starts to catch up because my running speed sucks without buffs.

"Haa~h, haa~h, haa~h…" Running this fast, this early? Oof… the only reason I pulled off against Keine earlier was because of that freakin' hanger!

Seven catches up fully and grabs me from behind, stopping my movement.

I kick at the air. "I've got gotten! Gal go!" Waa~u!

Seven sighs. "...Calm down. Please. You're making a scene…"

...There wasn't many fairies around right now. There were a few, but they don't seem like they care that much. A couple were staring at us.

"...I wanna make a scene, yo! We gotta act out! Like, dude…" I try to move in an abstract way, but it doesn't go well while I'm bound by the fairy girl. I do manage to tip her off her balance, and we fall over.

I try to roll away, but she grabs onto my arm.

"W-what's your problem!?" She shouts, glaring at me. "I don't wanna hurt you!"

I turn to her as best I can on the floor. "...I know. I just felt like being an asshole."

"Well. Good job." Seven lets go of me.

We take a moment to get up…

"You still afraid of boxes, friend?" Ha-chan laid her life on the line for you, yo.

Speaking of, where the frik is she? Hmm.

"...Y-yes…" Seven looks away, blushing. "...I-I never knew… they preyed on fairies…"

There's the lovably retarded fairy side. She was too much of a normal person in most of these conversations!

"Look, yo. I'll teach you to tame boxes someday…"

She shakes her head furiously. "N-no! Not again!"

She runs off…

Time to skedaddle!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

I depart from the front gate, and remember to flip off the fluffle at the fluffle stand.

"Get out, friend."

Its shell nose raises in surprise, and I shake my head.

"Freakin' noobs…"

I leave for the lake. Maybe I should stop at the Hakurei Shrine first, to get my bearings…

Continuing down the path, I near the lake…

"Freeze!"

Komi leaps from some bushes!

"We got you!"

Koi leaps out behind me.

"...Hi."

Namori steps out from behind a tree.

I wave at them. "Hello, friends!"

Komi walks up to me. "...Aren't you forgetting something?"

I shake my head. "Nuh… no." I mean yes.

"Yes, you are." Komi corrects. "That librarian sent us out here to watch for you, incase you tried… 'shirking' your end of the agreement, as she called it."

I shrug.

Komi grabs me by the shoulders, and turns me around. "Go do that, or something. We gotta follow you, too."

I raise a brow. "Couldn't'ave Sakuya just left a note or something, or uh-"

"How am I supposed to know!?" Komi snaps. "...Look, me and Koi need to hurry. We got a fifty-two card pick up tournament to attend, and if we're not on time, our panties are going to be hung on the Mistress' door handle!"

I start to walk rea~lly slowly…

"Y'know, maybe I'll talk with the sandy fluff…" I add. "I mean, that forehead of its is quite dusty…"

Komi begins pushing me along the path instead of letting me walk myself. "Come on! I'll be having none of that usually tomfoolery from you! Let's go!"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

I fall into the library, pushed in by Komi. "Oof."

Patchouli is right at the front door to greet me. "Here. Hold open your arms."

What?

Moments later, a pile of blocks are dropped on me.

"...Oof." I repeat.

"Make sure to scatter these around the Misty Lake, the Magical Forest, and the Hakurei Shrine. Surely you can at least manage this." Patchouli stares vainly downward at me.

I'll probably pass through these places anyway, so…

"Sure." I climb from the pile of wooden blocks. They all had a slight glow to them!... Not so subtle, Patchy, but whatever!

I scoop most of them into my sack. There was a buncha them, so I have absolutely no clue how many I was supposed to drop. I'll use them sparingly until the last place I visit, then, and knowing how big the Magical Forest was, I was gonna probably need to dump them all there.

"Can we go now?" Komi impatiently questions.

I shake my head. "No."

"No one asked you!" Komi snapped at me.

"Your work is done." Patchouli nods.

Komi races off, shouting. "I'll take that as a yes!"

Koi follows her after a slight delay, and Namori slowly trails after them.

"It's a fluff nugget kind of day…" I idly comment. Patchouli hovers off, choosing to ignore me.

Alright, now let's get out of the manor!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: PATCHOULI KNOWLEDGE'S PERSPECTIVE ====

A fluff nugget kind of day, apparently. I'd rather it wasn't, to be honest.

Brad does a casual strut as he leaves the library, closing the door behind himself.

I make progress towards my study again.

With some sort of miracle, that boy should manage to get the adequate number of blocks to those locations. Considering he even left some behind, I don't doubt he's going to leave a nonspecific number behind, which is precisely what I've planned.

The nature of the blocks is proximity surveillance. If everything goes as planned, I should have a means of monitoring the boy's proximity at any time. Largely useless, but should I ever send him on future tasks, it gives me a mean of tracking his progress. To test it, I can track his progress on this task.

I'd drive myself insane if I didn't bind the visual feed to something and just left it running. I'd also be a failure of a magician if I did that. As cliche as it is, I had it bound to one of those blank crystal orbs. Many of them were already enchanted with mundane utility spells and other useless, even faux magical effects in some cases.

I had written over one of the tacky blue ones that were one of the 'faux' magical orbs, which I coined because they were actually not enchanted at all and were simply the possessions of many phony fortune tellers and amateur magi.

Reaching my desk, I slide open the drawer and levitate the blue orb out. To differentiate it from the garbage ones, I simply left a throwaway magical signature on it that stood out.

What's that human child doing now…?

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====

I'm at the lake now, and still no Ha-chan. That's peculiar!

...Also, it was time to spread the surveillance!

I toss three magic blocks into the lake, and they float off. Good enough!

...Hey, she never specified that I had to place them anywhere specific aside from the three locations. I assume like three in the lake was gonna be good.

I am confronted by Wakagasa- fuck, I forgot her name already! Shit!

"...Why are you littering?" She begins glaring at me.

"I'm not. I've gotta distribute these blocks around three places, and this lake is one of them!" I explain my circumstance!

She's still not happy, though. "Then distribute them around the lake, not in it."

"But- they're wood!" I snap. "Tree branches probably fall in every day and freakin' skewer something! The thing's full of mud!"

"It's not full of mud!" Wakageeses snaps at me. "...It's just a little dirty!"

I shake my head. "Look, yo. You got ice floatin' about all willy-nilly." I point to the floating glaciers. "Yer on the rocks. Hit the bricks, pal, you're done."

She tilts her head. "...I don't see the problem."

I nod, smiling smugly. "Exactly."

"Wait, what?" Wakagoose blinks.

"See ya!" I head off, waving at her.

"S-see ya…" She waves back less enthusiastically, a bit bamboozled by the turn of events.

I continue around the lakeside on my way to the Hakurei Shrine…

"He~y!"

It's Cirno!

I look out to the lake to see Cirno zooming towards me.

I'm forced to run out of the way as Cirno crashes into the ground next to me.

Bam!

"Y-yo! You tryin' to strike me down, friend!?"

Cirno emerges from the crater. "A-ah…" She stretches a bit. "...Have you seen Dai-chan anywhere?"

Yeah. "No."

"...You're lying!"

She's right! "...No?"

"...You're lying."

Still? "Look, how would I have seen her?"

"Fi~ne…" Cirno floats away, looking frustrated.

Hyonk.

I actually dunno where she ran off to, and it has been a day, so I may aswell have not seen her anyway. It's not like she'd go that far from the lake.

...A rather temperate day today!

Yeah, nothing eventful happens for the rest of this walk. Take my word for it.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

There we go! Shrine of Hakurei!

It's uh, still in shambles.

Reaching the top of the steps, I make my way towards the disembodied door frame of the shrine. I walk in through it to see piles of stuff, and what looks like a freakin' kotatsu tent or something.

There doesn't seem to be anyone around, though…

I pull blocks out of my bag. "I'm sure Reimu won't give a shit!"

I start flailing them around wildly, allowing them to thunk against various debris.

Suddenly… I hear fluffy coos emanate from the debris.

"It appears… I am not alone in this world."

Locking in place, I take a gunslinger's stance.

...A dusty foreheaded fluffle pokes its head out of some of the debris, and looks around curiously and suddenly.

Slowly, I draw a block from my sack. "...Quick on the draa~w…"

The fluffle turns to me. "Waa~l…"

"In this town…" I reel my arm back.

"Waaa~l…!"

"I am the law!"

I toss the block!

Clunk!

"Waaa~l!"

Success!

At least ten other fluffles pop out from the debris to raise their fins in my honor.

The fluffle I struck sank back into the debris.

Yeah, I wasn't getting rid of these fluffles any time soon. I'd have to like, fumigate the place. They're like dust mites, except freakishly huge, and more or less cuddly.

I also tossed about ten or so of what was probably fifty blocks around. I think I'll save the rest for the forest. While I'm there, I should visit Alice or something!

Speaking of the forest of magic…

"Reimu! I'm here to play, da ze!"

Marisa rockets in through the only door that exists.

"Hi. It's me, Reimu." I casually greet Marisa.

"...You, again?" Marisa tiredly asks. I did just see her like, the other day, didn't I?

"Don't you got blocks to spread too, or something?" I pointed at Marisa.

"Yeah. I was wonderin' if I could get Reimu to help, ze, but uh…"

I shrug. "Didn't see her around. I did find these guys, though." I used my thumb to gesture to the rubble behind me, and some fluffles popped out on cue.

"...Ah." Marisa looked conflicted about that. "...Alright, then…"

I move out the door. "Have fun becoming one with the blocks or whatever it is that you do, magical friend!"

"Sure!" Marisa idly calls back to me as I head for the stairs.

Unbeknownst to myself, Marisa took the opportunity to raid the debris pile for a fluffle.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Before I enter the forest of magic, I stop by the pawn shop- I mean… tasteful forest outskirts tourist… trap?

The place was freakin' out there, I dunno what else to call it!

I open the door…!

"Hello, friend!"

Rinnosuke looks up from whatever the frik he's reading today. I dunno, the book cover's got a whole lotta Japanese on it! "...There you are."

I suddenly begin stomping as I approach his desk. "...Why think…"

I throw my head back and lurch backwards. "When you can fight!? Raagh!"

I throw myself onto his desk and lie down on it horizontally!

...I shift into a comfortable position. "Hey, how ya doin'."

Rinnosuke sighs. "You still owe me for that surf board, and that glue."

I take out a magical block. "Consider it paid!"

He eyes it. "...This is just a block."

I suddenly sit up. "Dude, it's great for shoving up your ass."

Rinnosuke shakes his head. "Why do I always get the freaks?"

"Because you're a freak." I grin.

"...How would you know?" He retorts.

I gesture to the everythings with my arms. "Because you're running a shady ass, vague business on the edge of a magical forest rife with particles of a luminous nature, selling otherworldly goods you hardly know anything about."

"I disagree with the shady part..." Rinnosuke voices. "...and I don't see anything wrong with the luminous nature of the forest."

I shrug. "I dunno, yo. I dunno."

I get up off his counter and look around the store. Unfortunately, there was nothing new or interesting on display at the moment, aside from the plethora of freakin' graphic tees that I refuse to acknowledge.

"...Say, uh, when's the next shipment of goods?"

Rinnosuke takes a moment to read before he replies. "...I'm gonna assume a couple days or something. Yakumo never really tells me when she's gonna drop stuff off, she just does. It's typically monthly, so any day now she should stop by."

Mmm…

He declined my previous payment offer. "...This block doesn't qualify as payment, by the way."

Daw. "But, yo, it's-"

"No. Square peg does not go into circular hole." he corrects.

That's unfortunate.

"Have you ever tr-"

"Please come again another day."

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

I hear the shop's bell ring behind me as I get booted out the front door!

"Oof…"

I land on my stomach this time.

"You can pay me later."

Rinnosuke closes the door.

That's one way to keep stuff on my tab!

Dusting myself off, I get up and continue into the magical forest. This place always had that homey vibe to it… I suppose that was because it felt congested at times because of all the freakin' stuff going on in it.

Yes, 'stuff'.

I hear an excited fairy girl call out to her friend. "Water-chan! Come check out this tree! It's glowing!"

"Wet-chan, all of the trees glow." Her friend deadpanned.

Also, Wet-chan. Just… Wet-chan.

"I know! But this one… it speaks to me…"

Thunk.

Wet-chan shoved her face into a hole in the tree.

As I expected, the two were unimaginatively named water fairies. I still dunno how the hell they get their names, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised if they were self-picked.

I come up to the fine fellows. "Hello, friends!"

Water-chan turns to me. "Y-you…!"

I wave. "Hi."

"You're the pervert who stole my shoes!"

Oh, it's that twat.

I wave it off. "Aaahh, forgedda 'bout it. Welcome to New York!" I suddenly take her arm and shake it vigorously.

"G-get off!" She jerks her arm from me, and floats back. "Wet-chan, we need to leave! This guy is bad news!"

Wet-chan tries to pull her face from the hole in the tree, but fails.

"..." Water-chan shakes her head. "You know what? Do what you want with her."

With that, Water-chan splits.

I'd like to know why the water fairies are still hanging around in the woods, anyway. They probably help the trees not die, but y'know… I'd have figured Earth fairies or something…

Wet-chan continues to try and free herself, to little avail. I hear her grunt weakly…

"Hngh!... Hnnngh!"

I'm tempted to shove one of the magical blocks up her ass, but I don't think Patchy needs to see up there. I mean, Mima might try and get some of that fairy ass at some point in the future, but still.

I come up behind her, and lift open the hem of her shirt's neck, and insert a magical block.

"H-hwaa~h!"

Mission accomplished! Fairy only half molested!

Leaving her to struggle against the tree, I continue into the woods!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

I walk up to Alice's door gingerly. I feel like I'm knocking on the door to some random hooligan's house in my neighborhood, for some reason.

Knock knock!

"Ding dong!" I announce my presence to the wild!

Knock, knock, knock!

"Di~ng, dong…!"

I take out Swift Brand and start bashing the door with it.

Bam bam bam!

"Open this freakin' door!"

I hear some footsteps inside, and moments later Alice quickly swings the door open.

"What!? What do you want?"

I jump at the irritation in her voice. "Jesus!" I toss the blocks at her with haste!

Alice shields herself with her arms as some of the blocks bounce off her. "H-hey!"

She tries to shut the door, but I stop it with my foot.

"Yeowch!" Fucking door! I felt that through my damn sneaker!

Alice steps away from the door, allowing me to slide in.

"Freakin', yo…"

She glares at me. "If I didn't answer the door, maybe you should have assumed I did not wish to answer it?"

I shrug. "...But you did, though, in the end."

"You were going to damage it or break it." She retorts.

I shrug. "Well, can't you magic it?"

Alice sighs quite audibly. "...I don't specialize in wood magic, you dope."

Dope! "That's dope, yo."

"...Why did you even come here?" Alice suddenly takes a very vain expression!

"Patchouli wanted me to hand these surveillance blocks all over the world!" I place one on the table.

"...Why?"

"Because Mima." Hope she knows who Mima is!

Alice blinks. After a moment of silence, she decides to dignify my answer with a response.. "Considering you know who that is now, I guess I'm inclined to believe you."

Woo.

"...I'm a bit busy. I hope you haven't come to ask for my aid, or anything." Alice voices her impatience.

"Nah, nah. I'm just in the neighborhood, shopping for some sandy fluffs." Sandy.

"Well, don't let me stop you, then. Go on… and do that." That's Alice trying to find a kind way of telling me to screw off!

"Alright, alright, yo…" I head for the door. "I'll leave you to your devices."

Click. I close the door to Alice's house, now departing for Marisa's…

"Annoying." Alice muttered to herself.

She studied one of the blocks. "...Clairvoyant scrying, huh? Not entirely subtle, but economic. Wonder what Patchouli made this for, really…"

She moved all the blocks to the edge of her front wall. "There we go. I'll keep those there, both to protect my privacy and let you keep doing whatever it is you're doing."

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Magical woods, yo. It's magical.

Nearing Marisa's house, I see that it's still pretty sad.

"Oh, no." I idly comment despite knowing what to expect.

One of the water fairies flies up to me and interrupts my existing! "You!"

"No." I shake my head.

"I've come to challenge you!" She points at me.

"And I've come… to not challenge you! How about that?" I grin back.

"Too bad! You can't stop me, anyway!" The fairy girl smirks triumphantly. "I'll pay you back for what you did to Wet-Chan!"

She hovers over my head as I ready a magical block.

"Here we-"

Thunk!

"...O-ooww!"

Get owned, noob, get owned!

I had thrown a block at her head, and hit her accurately by some miracle. You see, it's when I focus on hitting that I miss! I think…

I throw another block to try and see if I was right, and miss completely. I wasn't focusing that time, either.

...It's times like these that make me wonder how shit like catching knives is so easy for Sakuya. I can bare throw these bloody wooden blocks with any form of accuracy!

The fairy readjusts herself and glares at me. I'd call her Water-chan, but I actually don't know. These water fairies all look really similar, for some reason…

"That's it! I'm gonna make you sorry!" The fairy girl grins down at me. "This is a skill I've perfected through years of practice and support from my friends! And it's going to take you down!"

...That actually sounds pretty hype!

I brace myself. "Alright, bring it, cuddly!"

"Rain Sign! Cloudburst!"

The clouds overhead begin joining together, and grow dark.

I fold my arms.

It begins raining!

"Now I'm a soggy friend…" I grumble.

The fairy says nothing, still smirking.

"You're gonna die, for that." I get ready to try and bludgeon her with Swift Brand by bringing it out, but…

Suddenly, danmaku raises from the puddles on the ground!

"Hahaha! You've fallen into my trap!" The fairy girl laughs merrily.

"Sweet Jesus, fuck!" I try fleeing from the puddle danmaku, but it's appearing everywhere! "Turn it off! Turn it off!"

"You're mine!"

I start tossing wooden blocks at her hastily, while frantically dancing around in the puddles trying to avoid the pain vapors.

Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!

"It's no use, human!"

Thunk!

...Despite all these thunking noises, I'll have you know I threw like, ten blocks.

Finally getting near her, I double jump up towards her and swing Swift Brand at her rib cage.

Thwack!

"A-aaagh!"

The spell card stops!

"This would make for the shittiest shooter game, ever." I add. Throwing little wooden blocks at mundane opponents to scrape them. Genius!

Suddenly, I hear shouting from Marisa's house. "What the hell is going on out here, ze!?"

I turn, and she sees me. I wave.

"...You, again?"

I nod.

Marisa sighs. "You followin' me, or somethin'...?"

I nod. "Stranger danger, son! I'm gonna stick my hand into your bloomers and touch you inappropriately!"

Marisa walked back inside her mostly absent house. "...I'll pretend you didn't just say that."

"I will, too." I add.

"Hey! I'm not done with you, yet!" The fairy follows closely behind me as I make my way to Marisa's house.

I go inside

"Hey, woah woah woah, no one said you could come in, ze." Marisa started pushing me out.

"I must spread the blocks!" I begin tossing some inside.

I feel myself get pushed into the fairy, and Marisa continues pushing the both of us out.

"I've already got that covered! Just get out and don't come back!" Marisa steps back and delivers a swift kick to my torso.

"Wooaaa~h!" I exclaim. "Them's fightin' words!"

I'm thrown outside by the force of the kick, falling onto the fairy girl.

"Waah!"

At least she's soft.

...I feel her wiggle her way out from under me.

Sitting up, I stretch a bit. Man, I've been doing a lot of getting kicked out of places recently. Today's just been, like, the great kick off.

I spread the satisfactory amount of blocks around, I'm pretty sure, so now I can go to the places and do the things!

I didn't think that far ahead, though. Hnngh.

Let's see… where haven't I visited yet?

There's the temple, but I dunno what I could do there. I could return to the mansion, but the idea's to visit somewhere new…

Reimu's mysteriously not at her shrine, so I can't ask her anything. I doubt I'd see Mima again very soon, and I'd rather not climb a mountain to get kicked out of Sanae's shrine, somehow. I know it'd happen! For all I know she's trying to get off to her porn collection and here I'd be just bustin' in!

There are other places I'd like to go, but I dunno if I could reach them with my current level of ability…

Like Makai. Pretty sure I'd get like, incinerated.

...While I'm deep in thought, I notice the water fairy weakly flailing her arms at me from behind.

"...Hello, friend." I greet her.

...She blows a raspberry, then flies away.

...Hmm.

I could always try the human village again. That was always a point of interest, even if Keine wants to gut me. I kinda need a way to deal with her, 'cause I don't think I can overpower her at all.

...Bu~t, maybe I could outsmart her…

I've gotta head to Alice's house again.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Knock knock!

This was always an unfitting sight. It was like a regular house just plopped up outta nowhere in this freakin' woodland.

No answer, huh? I figured. I look into one of the windows, and don't see anyone. She must be deeper in her house. My idea is she can give me like, a generic villager disguise or something. She's gotta have spare clothes and wigs in there, somewhere! I just gotta find a way in…

It also just occurred to me that she musta fixed her own house, 'cause most of the water damage has vanished.

There's no way I could just pop open a window, especially since this is a mage's house. Even if Alice didn't booby trap them like Marisa probably does… or did when she had windows, then the dolls would surely assault me.

Oh, shit, that's right. She's got those buggers everywhere, and they have eyes. This was gonna be a bitch, but…

I take Remilia's mob cap off my head and put it into my sack. Looking around on the outside of the house a bit more, I step back from it.

"...Saint Nick, you crazy bastard…"

I pull out my Yin-Yang Flail-O-Copter, and take a moment to hover onto her roof…

Floating over it, I clumsily latch onto the chimney.

Now, how the hell was I supposed to slow the flail down…?

I try diverting the momentum…

Bam!

It hit the roof, leaving an indent.

If Alice didn't hear that, she's either in a magical coma or dead.

...Wait, if I do this fast enough, I could get down the chimney before she comes out to yell at me!

I frantically shove the flail back into my sack as I hear the door clicking open. "What in the world now…?"

Feeling my adrenaline kicking in, I leap into the large chimney and slide down…

I stop myself midway by grabbing the walls. Man, that's a lot of soot…

Letting myself land-

"Oof…" Not easy on the legs, mind you.

-I precariously angle my legs so I sit down in the fire place, and I push myself into the room.

Click. The front door closed itself, as many good front doors are designed to do. That, or Alice just has magic on it that makes it do that when unattended. I dunno.

I've done it! I have breached the inner sanctum!

I quickly and fluidly step towards Alice's room with a hint of caution to my steps, feeling the hype be real, yo.

"...Alright…"

I try to open the door.

It's fucking locked.

...I begin to look around, hoping there's a key of some description around. For all I know it's locked by magic or some shit!

I scour the main room for wigs or clothes, but they're all doll stuff. I'm not even close to a doll!

Shaking my head, I proceed into the guest room to hide before Alice charges back in or something.

I find some fluffles tied up on the wall. One of them was cut open a little, but it didn't seem to mind.

"hi" it said. "im chelsea"

Sure you are, friend.

The guest beds were all pushed aside, and it seems Alice was taking vigorous notes. I don't see any costume supplies in here either, just some undetailed doll figures near the notes.

I do see one of those fun closets, though. I quickly duck inside.

Click. The front door closes again. I close the closet door by accident.

I hear Alice step towards the room, and I try to time that with the door opening.

Click…

I… don't think she heard that.

Click. She closed the guest room door.

"Tch… Must have been those troublesome water fairies again. I've gotten careless." Alice mutters to herself with distaste.

Disappointingly, she says nothing else, and apparently gets to studying the fluff.

...On the bright side, there's actually guest clothes and stuffs in here! I mean, no wig, but that's okay! I could just reuse Kaguya's wig if need be. I couldn't throw the stuff on, though, because yeah. That'd be a little noisy.

I mean, speaking of which, I'm boned, aren't I? 'Cause there ain't no way I'm waiting for Alice to go to bed to get outta here.

"im spider man big time class" elaborates one of the fluffles.

"Hush." Alice wasn't having any of it, though.

...Hey, there's shoes in here too! A real mixed bag, though, and they're all dressy, boring shoes. I dunno which ones would fit or not. I'm just gonna pray Keine never memorized my sneakers.

Okay, maybe I do need shoes.

"Waaaa~l!" I jump at the sudden wail from the fluff.

"Oh, be quiet." Alice reprimands it.

Mmm, fluff stuffs.

There's a broom in here. There's also some peculiar class-specific items, like Hakurei-styled sleevelets and what looks like a witch hat. There were also a few maid headdresses, so I took one for good measure.

Spares for the regulars, I suppose.

...I took the Hakurei sleeves too. I dunno how the hell you make them stay on…

I accidentally make a collection of clothes hangers jangle a bit during my pilfering.

Alice suddenly pauses during her note taking.

Uh oh.

...She starts walking towards the closet.

Shi~t!

...I know what I can do. You know that thing where ninjas like, hide on the ceiling? I'm gonna do that; she has the rafter thing for it to work, too.

I climb up onto the hanger rack pole, and-

Snap!

...Uhm… This might be-

Snap!

Fu-

Thud.

...Yeah, I just broke her hanger hanger. Hangers clattered around me as I fell in a way that made me kick open the closet door.

"Good afternoon, friend. I see you brought fluff'n'stuffs." I greet Alice.

"How did you even get in there? When did you get in there…?" Alice stares over me, mildly disturbed.

"You see, it all started yesterday, and what a day that was…" I pretend to wipe my forehead. "It's what I call… a bahaha~d hair day…"

"Everyday's a bad hair day for you." Alice snarks. "You've apparently damaged the closet, too."

"Hey, the closet was damaged before I got here!" I lie. "...I just revised the damages!"

"That's just a fancy confession." Alice points out. "...Get out of there, by the way."

I make my way out of the closet clumsily, because I wasn't in a very easy stance to stand up! After a few moments of struggling, I've escaped the closet.

She shuts it, and sighs. "I guess I'll fix that later. I know I can't trust you to do it."

She's not wrong.

"...Do you mind explaining how you got in, now?"

I shrug. "The door was open, and I heard fluffy noises, and fluffy voices. The coos beckoned to me, friend. Hug." I walk towards Alice for a hug.

"No." She holds out her arm, and stops me. "Start explaining and I won't tie you up."

Tie me up, huh? "Why would ya do that, yo?"

"I don't know if you came for malicious reasons. After all, you won't tell me anything, apparently." Alice stares levelly at me.

I shrug. "Yo ho ho, give me a moment to explain, friend."

She stares at me expectantly.

"...I came in through the chimney!" I gesture to my soot-covered clothes. "I wanted to ask you for a villager's disguise, so I came by. You were busy uh…" I look to the fluffles. "...Yeah. So I just showed myself in like that."

"I would have noticed-..." Alice pauses. "...You made that dent in the ceiling, didn't you?"

I grin sheepishly. "...Water fairies?"

Alice shakes her head. "You oaf."

...I take a moment to reflect upon the fluffle chamber. "...You find anything interesting?"

She shakes her head. "They're dusty. Very dusty."

I turn away from the fluff to look at her. "Did you try sniffing them?"

She scrunches her face. "They smell dusty."

Mmm…

"Anyway… You wanted a villagers' disguise that badly?"

I nod.

"Alright. You'll have to do a few things for me, though." Woo, quests!

"Such as?" Exchange of goods is my language!

She hands me a grocery list. "Fetch me these supplies. If you pass as a villager, surely this should come with ease."

Pfft, too boring. The moment I get in, I'm gonna try and see if I can get Sekibanki or somebody to do it for me. Who has time to shop!?

"Sure, yo." I look at the list she hands me…

Hmm, it's actually mostly threads and stuff, and a few things like pancake mix. Now I need like, five bags of pancake mix to just chuck at people. Preferably fire elementals, actually. Wait, would I need a water elemental too? That's too specific to be useful, now!

She goes into the closet and reaches down into the pile of clothes that was produced as a result of me trashing the rack.

...Generous view of the derriere! I won't comment on it, though. Just stare.

"Here." Standing back up, she pulls some clothes from the pile. She shows me a very plain blue coat. "There's this, for guests, and…" She lifts a skirt and frowns at it. She's about to toss it aside, but I intervene.

"Yo, keep that in."

Alice turns to me. I can only describe her expression as something along the lines of 'are you fucking serious?'.

I smile innocently. "...It's fun." I had no complaints with being a deep voiced crossdresser with hairy legs! It'd be fun!

"...No. I'm not letting you walk around and tell anyone who recognize you got this from me." Alice huffs. "I'd like to think myself more professional than that."

Alright, alright, geesh. Freakin' appearances, yo. "Alright, friend. Give me some freakin' tangley trousers."

"You get normal trousers." Alice holds up some overall-esque pants. I guess a whacky ass hick suit is fine, too.

"...That's not really normal, but uh…" I guess it'd be normal to the villagers.

"Too bad. Will you leave me to my research now?"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: WALL FLUFFLE B'S PERSPECTIVE ====

"you get normal trousers" mean girl says to fuzzy one

"thats not really normal but uh" fuzzy one looks friendly

"too bad will you leave me to my research now" girl asks fuzzy

its time to call for help from some friends!

"friends, help! ';,.',';,.';,.';" i call for some friends

mean lady looks at me "why must you be troublesome now you were fine earlier"

';,.';',;.';,'.,;.

[Publishing Request # 556262…]

';,'.;';,.';';,';. ? ? ?

friends!

"im lovable" friends are coming!

"';,.';,';.';,.';" my friends rejoice!

now is waiting time!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====

"friends, help! Waaa~l!" The fluffle cries out for aid.

Alice sighs, slowly looking back at the fluffle. "Why must you be troublesome now? You were fine earlier…"

The fluffle takes a moment to stare into space. Before I can say anything, it talks over me. "im lovable"

"Waaa~l!" Its friends wail.

Alice shakes her head. "...I don't have any idea how these things behave. You see, I took interest in their… non-biological designs yet lively behaviors, but they don't seem to behave like any living organism I've ever encountered. I thought they might be a sort of animated doll… but they have very low magical anything on them, yet they seem… strangely animated and energetic. Either whoever made them was a masterful magician, or these things are animated through something other than magic."

I blink. "...I dunno anything about freakin' fluffle biology. Isn't it a little too early in the day to be talking about that stuff, anyway?"

Alice rolls her eyes. "It's never too early in the day for intellectual endeavors…"

I fold my arms and give her the stink eye.

"...Okay, it is possible for that to happen, but my tolerance for thinking is likely to be higher than yours." Alice admits.

Well, she is a mage now. I think.

"You're a mage, the species, right?" I ask her.

She nods. "Yes, why?"

Oh, in that case… "I have no guilt in admitting you're probably smarter than me in numerous areas." Biology, yo.

She looks curious, but doesn't comment on that at all.

"I'm gonna change into this costume, yo."

"Mmm…" Alice approaches her notes. "Be sure to keep that list in mind."

"Thanks, yo." I leave the room.

I decide to get changed in her living room because yes. Slipping off my robes and stuffs, I pocket them in the sack.

I slip on my coat thing, only to realize Alice gave me no shoes. I mean, I still had my sneakers, but uh… yeah. I should go ask about that.

I put on my overalls, which don't fit at all with the coat, but I guess she gave me these on a whim so it's whatever. I feel like an asshole wearing these… and that's part of the fun!

I look out her front door, hoping to admire some sunny forestry.

Instead I see a really, really big fluffle staring in.

"im a little e" it introduces itself. "e"

I hurry back to Alice.

She jumps as I storm back into the room.

"What do you want-"

"Alice."

She glares. "Wha-"

"Alice."

She stops trying to talk, but just glares at me.

"...We got two problems. Two huge problems." I begin.

"Stop wasting my time…" She groans. "You've had to have at least costed me an hour by now…"

"First… you forgot the shoes." I wiggle a sneaker.

Alice looks incredibly impatient. "Really… Fine. Is that really-"

"Second…" I segway into the next problem.

"Fine, don't let me speak." Alice folds her arms.

"There is a colossal fluffle, bigger than your house, outside right now." I tell her.

"Sure." She steps towards me. "Give me a good reason why I shouldn't just beat you up for trying to trick me again?"

"Follow me." I wave to her. "I'll even come with you."

Reluctantly, she sighs and agrees.

We walk to the living room, and look out the front door.

"hello" The fluffle greets us.

"What." Alice steps back a little.

"It seems friendly." I provide.

"do... do you have my friends" It asks. "give them back please"

Alice looks at a loss for words. "...D-dolls!"

Her battalion of dolls mobilizes itself from her shelves and drawers and get ready to combat the giant fluffle.

"please friends no dont" The fluffle looks saddened. "im all natural"

"What are fluffles weak against?" Alice asks me.

"Burn it with fire." I demand.

"On it."

Various dolls ready flaming arrows, and others' spears ignite.

Before I even know it, dolls are all around the house. They're even surrounding fluffzilla out there from outside the house. Alice, just how the hell did you make these strings work?

With not a bated breath, the arrows bombard the giant fluffle.

"no!" The fluffle shouts. "friends no"

The huge towering fluffle quickly turns into an inferno, and stumbles back into the forest away from the house. It collapses onto the trees, and becomes a raging inferno.

Boo~m…

…I hear the crackling of flames moments later.

"We need to put out that fire…" Alice immediately recognizes.

Some water fairies take notice instantly, and begin dousing the flames to protect the forest.

Various dolls are now pouring buckets of water of dubious origin onto the fire.

...However, I see a light emitting from the flames.

"...Oh, shit." I curse.

Thud…

The whole house shakes from the thud.

"...!" Alice's eyes widen.

Thud…

The flames are almost all gone, but a towering mechanization is revealed, standing above what remains of the small inferno.

Thud…

"H-holy…" Alice's jaw drops.

I shake my head vigorously. "Nope. I'm out. Fuck that shit. Get me outta here! We gotta go!" I begin shaking Alice, who doesn't seem to have gotten out of her initial shock yet.

Thud…

A large, fluffle-shaped mechanization stood, with one of those cliche red bionic eyes with the laser sight. It had a gaping metal maw instead of the typical fluffle perpetual smile, and seemed to be made of haphazard sheet metal bolted together. The legs were very much similar to the piston abominations seen prior, except they were just large piston contraptions instead of those quad-limbed travesties. They looked nearly identical, though.

"Help_Request_Confirmed…" spoke the mechanical tower. "Negotiations_Unsuccessful… Commencing_Biological_Extermination_Procedures…"

Its head jerked, sparks flying from the base of the 'neck'. "im_fluffy"

The water fairies were shooting bubbles at it, to debatable effect.

It swings a large metal fin through the air.

Pi~chun!

Pi~chun!

Pi~chun!

...The fairies didn't stop, though.

The giant mecha fluffle aimed its eye down at one of them, and shot a piercing red beam at its target.

Pi~chun!

...As cool as the thing was, it'd be a lo~ng time before it killed every individual fairy assaulting it.

"...We gotta go." I state. "C'mon Alice, we gotta go." I begin pulling on her arm.

She appears confused. "W-what? But, I-"

"We just do. We gotta go, yo."

...Alice resigns herself. "Alright. I suppose backup would be appreciated."

I was about to offer to carry her, but then she just up and floats.

...Yeah, I kinda forgot Gensokyian girls can do that in all the excitement!

"Come on, then."

Alice's dolls lift me up with surprising strength! "Woah, woah, bad touch! Easy on the sides, yo! I-I'm ticklish!" This feels super weird, dude!

And so, we escape the titanic fluffle. We'll probably have to beat the shit out of it later. That thing was literally twice the height of the trees, so I think it'd catch some attention pretty quickly, too.

By 'we' I mean Alice and whoever she finds to back her up. Hyonk.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

END OF CHAPTER 25

PROTAGONIST: Brad, the Fluffle Slayer, Ph. D in Plant Hangers, Scarlet Liberator, Sinker of the Flufftanic, Assembler of the Legendary Air Ride Machine.

PRIMARY WEAPON: Quake Bloomer - A earth-elemental plant hanger made from sturdy rock; has a flower curved around the hilt. Able to be used as a jack hammer for demolition purposes. Strikes can be empowered with magical energy. With the addition of an enchanted shaft, it is able to be used as a warhammer and grant the ability to self-cast attack buffs to the wielder. Allows casting of Gaia Seed.

INVENTORY:

Holy Hanger- Apparently a semi-crux to youkai and undead via a holy spell and being naturally strong against them, but it doesn't sound particularly efficient. Most respectable youkai seem to only be momentarily stunned, and anything without visual receptors or possibly a pair of sunglasses would probably be immune.

Swift Brand - A sand-red, cast iron plant hanger. It was used to hold a generic potted plant before being utilized as a weapon of mass skull-cracking destruction. With the addition of a wind-grate, it can create small compressed air blasts. By the addition of a steel block, it gained enhanced striking power and weight, along with increased ability to channel magic into any sort of special effects it has.

Flame Salvo - A red and crimson plant hanger comprised of mysterious gems and metals. Enchanted to have an incendiary effect upon sufficient striking force, or sufficient velocity. Good for burning stuff and people! Boosts fire abilities, allows physical strikes to do fire damage. Never again do I need a lighter or the ability to somehow rub two sticks together really hard to make a campfire! Has a flamethrower nozzle. Can cast Fume, has Flamethrower Plus!

Vortex Hanger - Wind elemental plant hanger currently attached to the Yin-Yang flail as a crafting material. Granted a limited hover per swing when wielded, but that ability is what allows the flail-o-copter to fly now.

Deep Blue- A blue and silver plant hanger comprised of mysterious fantastical metals. Enchanted to constantly produce fresh water. Boosts abilities of water-based attacks and allows physical attacks to deal water damage. Allows wielder to cast Geyser. The addition of a valve served to allow control of its water flow. I wonder if you could use this in place of a sink...

Yin-yang flail-o-copter - A flail with a standard, maximized Hakurei Yin-yang orb in the sling of it. Unable to have its powers fully activated, as only Reimu can truly harness the power of Yin-yang orbs. Minor affinities from the base orb transfer over, though! Crafted from a Hakurei Yin-Yang orb, a rope of panties, and two bra cups. Ropes were used to attach the Vortex Hanger to the yin-yang orb, allowing the flail to be used as a flying device, although it's a bit straining on the arms.

Sharper Than Darkness- A dark, runed plant hanger constructed from the shards of a dead man's sword. Dark effects promote a glass-cannon fighting style, with increased bleeding but fighting power being the main attributes. Due to a dark amulet upgrade, it may be used to cast Revenge, a dark spell which has more extreme proportions of the weapon's innate attributes. A scythe edge from a mysterious ghoul was added to give it an extra deadly edge in combat. Has a very situational instant-death dealing condition that, let's be honest, I probably couldn't fulfil; it's just there for world building. Help no.

Bee-Sheventeen-Bawmber - A mechanical plant hanger enchanted to make big booms on contact. Explosions are mostly knockback based, but I think it could gib particularly weak-willed people… magic is weird. With the addition of a barrel, it can shoot singular, yellow danmaku bullets.

The Escape Plan - A basic green cast-iron plant hanger from the aged cellar of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and a gift from Flandre Scarlet. Has an obsolete map out of the cellar's maze, etched by Flandre herself. Shoddily enchanted to give a speed boost when the wielder is lower on health. Has various negatives that I mentioned in earlier inventory summarizations…

Market Gardener - Critical hits during blast jumps! Otherwise, it's just a normal, old plant hanger. Named after a very similar shovel…!

NERF dart blaster - Nerf guns are cool and all, but don't try defending yourself with one. Please.

NERF longsword - "CAUTION: Do not jab at people or animals"… you know what that means!

Kaguya Houraisan Disguise - Wear to become a NEET! Tons of pockets! 75% time resistance on equip. Voice, face, and height specifications not included!

Monk Robes - Wear to become a Buddhist! Actually pretty comfy…!

Butterfly Dream Pills - Because I forgot to list that I grabbed these a few chapters ago! Makes you dream of being a beautiful butterfly!... now, if only there was a pill for lucid or wet dreams, and then I'd consider Yagokoro the doctor to end all doctors!

Remilia Scarlet Disguise - Wearing this as a tall manchild's probably not doing anyone with eyes any favors. Has resistances of sorts, but I'm not in a big fat hurry to find out...

PARTY:

London, the Multipurpose Combat Doll - What it lacks in brains it makes up for with a suit of armor and some OP utilitarian spells! Can cast basic fire, lightning, and ice attacks of both the magical and physical variety. Gets a lance, and can shoot danmaku. Has a variety of attack commands now, including intelligent tracking, trailing, patrolling, and defending. Has a mana pool for the stronk commands, though, so those should be used sparingly.

PRIMARY WEAPON: Shanghai Lance - Burly lance with jabbing ability. Mostly useful as a blunt object, it seems, and intimidation factor. London really likes it, apparently. London shouldn't have sentience, but I can't help but notice the awkward way which it just pauses before it swings this lance.

ACTUAL AUTHOR'S NOTE:

man this took awhile.

more FLUFFMANIA

there are snuggles afoot

...i also actually have a place im taking this whole string of events! (you see i hit a small roadbump when i was looking for places to go, but i just came up for another way for me to meet some FLUFFY FACES and get put in FLUFFY SPACES; gensokyo is an eventful place)

as always, see you all next time!