Chapter 29

Jane stood in front of their car, enjoying winter sunshine on her face while she waited for Riley to come back from school. It had been two weeks since the shooting and she was finally able to drive a car again, but it was still painful. She had been going back to work, but she was on desk-duty, much to her own disappointment.

Riley had been doing rather well in school. Math was still difficult, but she hadn't talked about kids being mean and Jane took that as a good sign. Today was Friday and Jane knew Riley would be exhausted, as always at the end of the week. Riley had been sleeping in her mother's arms for at least two or three nights every week, and even though Jane missed the closeness with her wife during those nights, she wouldn't want it any other way. Her heart broke when she heard about Riley handling panic attacks by herself and Jane was happy to offer the comfort she needed.

After a few minutes, Jane saw Riley walking out of the building, her backpack securely on her back as she spotted her mother and walked towards the car. Jane noticed her shoulders were dropped and as she came closer Jane saw a pained expression on her daughter's face. When she reached Jane, she stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around Jane's neck, just like she did on her very first day. Jane lovingly wrapped her arms around her daughter and pulled her close. "Hi, baby." She whispered. "Tough day?"

Riley nodded against Jane's shoulder and sighed. "People were being stupid again."

"Same boys?"

"Yeah."

Jane sighed and rubbed Riley's back while she rested her chin on top of her head. She looked at the school and noticed two boys, roughly 15 years old, standing by a tree, looking at the two of them and laughing mockingly. They didn't see Jane looking at them. "Riley?" Jane asked softly. "Are those the boys?"

Riley turned but didn't move from Jane's arms. She looked at the guys by the tree and flinched before hiding her face in Jane's shoulder again. "Yes."

Jane kissed the top of Riley's head and saw the boys bursting out in laughter when they watched Riley burying herself in her mother's arms. Jane felt anger burning in her chest and loosened her grip on Riley. "Can you get in the car? I need to take care of something." She said.

"What?" Riley looked at Jane with questioning eyes but Jane just kissed her forehead and opened the car door for her. Riley sat down and Jane walked towards the guys by the tree. "Hi," she greeted them, "Eric and Shawn, isn't it?"

The boys looked surprised and a little intimidated. "Yeah…" One of them answered.

"I'm detective Jane Rizzoli, I'm Riley's mom and I don't appreciate the way you're treating my daughter."

The dark-haired guy chuckled, trying to be tough. "And she can't tell us that herself?"

Jane felt a sense of rage tickling her stomach and stepped closer to the boy. "I'm a detective with the homicide unit of the Boston police department and I can make your life very difficult if you ever try to hurt my daughter again." She saw a hint of fear in his eyes as he tried to step back but he hit the tree with his back.

"We didn't hurt her." He said softly.

"You made fun of her and nobody makes fun of my daughter. You're gonna leave her alone from now on, and if you don't, I'll know where to find you, you piece of crap." Jane spoke in a soft, dangerous tone and was satisfied to see fear edged on his face. She turned towards the other boy and gave him an angry look. "The same goes for you. You hurt her; I hurt you. So you better stay away from her, understood?"

He nodded quickly, intimidated by Jane's anger and dangerous tone. When she was satisfied with the fear she had caused, she turned around and walked back to the car, sitting next to her daughter.

"What did you do?" Riley asked, her eyes wide in confusion and expectation.

"I told them to stop being mean to you." Jane started the engine and took off, heading home.

"Why?"

Jane looked to her side and was surprised to see hurt on her daughter's face. "Because I can't accept those guys making fun of you."

Riley stayed silent stared out of the window, causing Jane to worry, afraid that she had done the wrong thing again. "Honey, I'm sorry. I just want to protect you, to make sure you're okay."

"I know." Riley answered softly. "I'm just afraid it'll make it worse. They're already calling me a mommy's-girl."

"I think I scared them off pretty good." Jane said with confidence. "I'm pretty sure they'll leave you alone."

Jane was relieved to hear Riley chuckle softly. "You gave them the detective Rizzoli treatment?"

Jane laughed and turned the car towards their home where hopefully Maura would be waiting for them to spend the weekend together. "Yeah I did, baby."

Riley smiled but didn't reply. The drive was quiet until Jane drove the car into the garage. "Ma? Can Sarah come over next week? Maybe Wednesday?"

"Sure." Jane answered while she turned off the engine. "Just check with your mom if it's okay."

Riley nodded and grabbed her backpack. "Okay."

Once inside, they saw Maura sitting at the dinner table while she was working on her laptop. When she saw her wife and daughter coming inside, she turned around with a loving smile. "Hello, my loves." She greeted them.

Jane smiled and walked towards her wife to press her lips against Maura's in a quick but loving kiss. "Hey, beautiful." She whispered.

Maura kissed Jane's lips again before she turned to Riley, opening her arms for the girl. Riley reached down the accept a quick hug and leaned against the table next to her mother while Maura's arm wrapped around her small waist. "How was your day, honey?" She asked, looking up at Riley.

"It was alright."

Maura smiled up at her daughter and lovingly squeezed her close. "You're tired, aren't you?"

Riley smiled shyly and nodded. "Yeah."

Maura stood up from her chair to fully hug her daughter and kiss her cheek. "Do you have any homework?" She asked when she pulled back, stroking Riley's hair out of her face.

"Yeah, I have to finish an essay for English. But that's it I think."

"Do you need any help with that?"

"No, I think I'm okay." Riley answered with a reassuring smile. "I just need a computer for that."

"You can use mine, it's in my bag in the closet." Jane said while she grabbed herself a beer from the fridge.

Riley nodded and went to grab Jane's laptop while Maura sat back down. "Oh, I forgot to tell you," Maura said with a smile, "your adoption is almost final!"

"Really?" Riley turned around, a bright smile on her face.

"Really?" Jane repeated. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I literally just got off the phone with Christina, Jane." Maura answered while she tilted her head. "We have to fill out a few forms, and we have to be in court in two weeks."

"Why do we have to go to court?" Riley asked, sitting down next to Maura and opening the laptop.

"We have to give an official statement in front of a judge, and sign some papers." Maura answered. "It's just a formal thing."

"Okay." Riley grabbed a book from her backpack but didn't open it. "So, in two weeks I'll really be your daughter…"

Jane smiled and sat down on the table next to the laptop in front of Riley. "Yes, you will." She said with a smile, quickly but lovingly caressing Riley's cheek for a moment.

"You still sure about that?" She asked, suddenly getting insecure.

"Of course we are." Jane answered without hesitation. "Why wouldn't we?"

Riley shrugged and fumbled with her pencil. "I don't know, once you've adopted me you'll never get rid of me." Jane was grateful to hear a slight smile in Riley's voice, knowing the girl just needed confirmation and didn't truly doubt their love.

"We're already stuck with you, making it official won't change that." Jane said with a smirk.

Maura looked up at her wife with a scolding look, clearly not picking up on the sarcasm. "We're not stuck with her, Jane!" She said in a stern tone.

"I know; I was being sarcastic." Jane smiled and reached over Riley's laptop to kiss Maura's lips.

Maura sighed and gratefully accepted the kiss, but it broke when Riley let out a low groan. "Don't kiss above me, please." Riley said with a smile. "It's gross."

Jane chuckled and kissed Maura's lips again. "No it's not, it's very good." Maura laughed but gently pushed Jane away.

"What do you want to drink, Riley?" Jane asked while she hopped off the table and walked into the kitchen.

"Hot chocolate?" She answered while she looked at Maura with a questioning smile.

Maura laughed and rubbed Riley's back. "You still have to put on weight." She said with a look of love in her hazel eyes. "You can have hot chocolate."

"Thanks." Riley smiled and opened a document on the computer. She scrolled through it for a while before she started typing.

Jane started heating up the milk for the hot chocolate and heard both Maura and Riley typing in silence. Riley and Maura worked in silence and concentration while Jane started getting out the ingredients to make her family a nice dinner. She had decided on making lasagna, which she knew Riley loved. She felt happy and content, loving the domesticated life with her precious family.

She kneeled to grab a cutting board out of the cabinet under the kitchen counter and grabbed her dangling necklace. She absentmindedly traced the little wooden heart and smiled when she saw the word 'mom'. Riley was calling them Ma and Mom without difficulty now and it made Jane happier than ever. In less than two weeks, the adoption would be official and Jane couldn't wait. She knew they already were her mothers, but it added something to make it official.

Dinner was delicious and happy, filled with chatter about Riley's school, Maura's autopsy reports and a suspect that the homicide unit couldn't find. When dinner was finished, Riley helped clean up the dishes, well behaved as she was, and Maura made them agree to watch a documentary on the psychology of predators. It turned out to be rather fascinating, much to Jane's surprise. It didn't take long for Riley to fall asleep though, and Jane gently woke her up to bring her to bed.

"She's out like a light." Jane smiled when she entered their bedroom to find Maura undressing to put on her silk pajamas. Jane took a few steps to wrap her arms around Maura's waist, hugging her from behind.

Maura smiled and leaned back in Jane's arms, resting her head on her wife's shoulder. "We're so lucky." She whispered.

Jane hummed and gently brushed Maura's hair back to place an open-mouthed kiss on Maura's neck. "Yes, we are."

Maura turned around in Jane's arms and captured her lips in a passionate kiss, filled with endless love. "It's been way too long since we made love, baby." She whispered seductively.

"It was two days ago!" Jane answered with a smirk, smiling at the fact that after years of marriage, they still couldn't get enough of each other.

"Yes, and it left me craving for more ever since." Maura whispered while she slowly licked Jane's earlobe, something that never failed to drive Jane crazy.

She felt her arousal building when she thought about their lunch break two days ago, where Maura decided to come home and surprise her wife, who was working from home that day. The lunch break ended up taking up twice the time it normally lasted, but it was the best lunch Jane had in a very long time. She still had to be careful with her injured shoulder, but Maura was creative as always and made sure it felt just as good as ever.

An hour and a half later, the two women were curled up in bed, naked bodies flush on top of each other, legs tangles together, both women still panting and exchanging loving kisses. "That was amazing." Jane whispered. "I love you so much."

Maura smiled and lifted her head to kiss her wife, but Jane flinched in pain when the movement added too much pressure on her shoulder. "I'm sorry." Maura said, flinching along with her wife. "I love you too, Jane." She carefully kissed Jane's lips and Jane tangled her hands in Maura's blonde curls to deepen the kiss.

Just as things started to heat up again, Jane lifted Maura off of her with her non-injured arm and moved away to sit up. "As much as I love kissing you, I have to pee really really bad." She smirked and walked towards the bathroom, making sure to sway her still naked body in front of her beautiful wife, eliciting a mocking giggle from the blonde.

She grabbed Maura's robe on her way and put in on to avoid getting cold. She went to the bathroom, but before she could get back to bed she saw Riley's bedroom door slowly opening. Riley's head peaked through and she walked down the hallway, not seeing Jane in the dark.

"Riley honey, are you okay?" Jane asked softly, startling Riley in her steps.

When she came closer, Jane saw the tears that were streaming down Riley's face, her tiny arms wrapped around herself. "Mama." Riley whispered, her voice broken and laced with tears.

In a flash, Jane's arms were wrapped around her daughter and Riley broke down in body-wrecking sobs. "What happened, baby?" Jane whispered.

Riley shook her head and clung to her mother, heavy sobs making it impossible to speak. Jane kept her strong hold, pulling her daughter into her chest. Jane flinched from the pain it caused in her shoulder but she didn't care. She felt Riley's legs buckle beneath her so she gently pulled her down to the floor, resting her back against the wall while she guided Riley's tiny body to curl up in her lap, resting her head on Jane's warm chest.

Riley's loud sobs caused Maura to emerge from their bedroom, dressed in Jane's shorts and a large sweater, startled by the sight of her crying daughter in Jane's arms. She immediately kneeled down next to them and stroked Riley's messy hair. "What's going on, my love?" She whispered.

Riley responded with a heartbreaking sob and Jane rested her chin on top of her daughter's head to make eye contact with her wife. They didn't need words, just the look in Jane's eyes told Maura that Riley hadn't spoken to her yet. Maura sat down next to Jane and rested her head on her shoulder. She placed a warm hand on Riley's face and made soft strokes with her thumb, occasionally placing sweet kisses on top of her head. Jane held the girl close, stroking her back while loud sobs never seemed to end. She felt her daughter's pain and fought to keep her tears at bay.

"Shh, my baby, just breathe slowly." Jane whispered, trying to get the girl to calm down. "It'll be okay, we're here."

After what felt like hours, Riley's sobs finally subsided. She took a deep, shuttering breath and looked up at Maura, only now seeing she was there. Maura smiled lovingly and wiped a tear with her thumb. "Hi, baby." Maura whispered. "Honey, can you talk to us?"

"I feel so gross all the time." Riley whispered. "I can still feel where his hands used to be on my body. I doesn't matter how many showers I take, I still feel gross."

"Oh, baby." Jane whispered, no longer able to hold back her tears.

"I don't understand!" Riley said a little louder, still not moving from Jane's arms. "This happened so long ago, but I've never felt like this!"

"You never realized what it meant, honey." Maura said softly, her hand still on Riley's face, gently wiping the tears that kept falling. "You only fully understand it now."

Riley looked up at Maura from Jane's shoulder, a strange mixture of childlike naivety and mature pain showing in her shimmering blue eyes. "Whenever I close my eyes, I see them." She whispered. "I see Mike sitting there, I see my father hovering above me..."

"Have you tried replacing the image?" Maura asked in a soft whisper.

Riley nodded and looked down at her fumbling hands. "Yeah. I try to imagine your warm chest and Ma's strong arms but they end up changing into his raw hands and hot cigarettes all the time."

"I'm so sorry, my baby." Maura whispered while she kissed the girl's forehead. She took a deep breath and looked at Jane, both knowing what she was about to ask. "Honey, how do you feel about seeing someone who can maybe help you? Someone that teaches you how to deal with this?"

"You mean someone other than you and ma?" Riley asked, her voice still hoarse and laced with tears.

"Yes, someone who studied to help children like you." Maura answered in a sweet tone. Jane and Maura had talked about it before, thinking about offering Riley therapy. Jane and Maura were able to help Riley in their own way, but they were afraid that wasn't enough. Riley needed professional help. Not because she wasn't strong enough, but because she needed to find a healthy way to deal with her pain.

"Children like me?" Riley's voice sounded so small and weak it broke Jane's heart.

Jane pulled her impossibly closer and felt her daughter clinging to her chest, still curled up in her lap. "People who've been through a lot of pain. People who are so strong, they have to find a way to deal with their strength."

Riley sniffled and let out a soft sob, causing Maura to close her eyes and press her lips against her hairline. "My baby." She whispered.

"I'm not strong." Riley said weakly. "If you're strong, you don't need help."

"Allowing people to help you, that's strong." Maura replied softly but determined, her hand back to cup Riley's face while her other arm wrapped around Jane's waist. "You can't deal with your pain all by yourself, Riley. That's impossible, for anyone."

"I let you help me." Riley whispered. "Why do I need someone else to help me too?"

Jane sighed. She was afraid the suggestion for therapy would hurt Riley. "Because we didn't study for it. There are people that are very smart and they know exactly how to help you."

"You're very smart. Mom's the smartest person I've ever met in all my life." Riley answered, wiping her wet cheeks with her sleeve.

"Yes, honey, but I want you to get the best help in the world." Maura answered. She wiped a tear that trickled down Riley's cheek and smiled lovingly. "We just want what's best for you, my love."

Riley looked into Maura's eyes and Jane saw hazel eyes filling with unconditional love and care. She felt Riley slowly nodding against her and sighed in relief. "I'm proud of you, baby."

Riley answered with yet another heartbreaking sob and clung to Jane's robe. "I c-can't stop crying." She sobbed.

"You don't have to, sweetheart." Maura whispered. She stroked Riley's hair as the girl buried her face in Jane's chest. Jane felt warm lips pressing against her cheek and saw Maura looking at her with a look of love and pain. She lovingly squeezed Jane's waist and mouthed 'I love you'. Jane smiled and turned her head to kiss Maura's lips before resting her chin back on top of Riley's head.

After a few more moments, Riley's cries still hadn't stopped and Jane was getting uncomfortable and her shoulder was hurting. She moved to try and get rid of the stinging pain in her shoulder, but it didn't help and the movement didn't go unnoticed by her always attentive wife. "You should get off the floor." She whispered.

Jane nodded and tried to pull away from Riley but her daughter kept clinging to her and Jane sighed but smiled lovingly. Maura got up and rubbed Riley's back. "Honey, come here."

Riley slowly untangled herself from Jane and reached her arms out for Maura, like a child reaching for its mother. Maura immediately wrapped her arms around the still crying girl and lifted her off the floor, yoga-toned muscles straining with strength. She gave Jane a questioning look and Jane nodded her head in the direction of their bedroom. Maura smiled lovingly and carried their daughter towards their bed, putting Riley down but never leaving the tight embrace. She lay down next to her daughter and Jane lay down next to them, molding her body against Maura's back, wrapping her arms around her wife's waist.

As Jane watched her daughter crying in Maura's arms, she saw Maura's tears slowly falling down her cheeks and wasn't able to hold back herself. She let out a silent sob and buried her head in the crook of Maura's neck as she felt Maura's hand reaching to tangle in Jane's curls against her neck, pulling her close.

Riley's pain broke Jane's heart and it made her feel useless and powerless to know that she wasn't able to help Riley in the way she needed. In the end, she needed more than just two pairs of loving arms and that hurt Jane. However, Jane knew that right now, two pairs of loving arms were enough. Right now in the middle of the night, Riley needed nothing else than to bury herself in her mothers' arms and allow them to soothe her to sleep. It might not be enough for the long run, but for now it was perfect. With that thought, Jane's tears finally dried and she drifted off into a restless sleep.

A/N I know a lot of you have been suggesting therapy for a while, but given that this story is very personal for me, I kept therapy off as long as I could. After all, it can feel like failure and it's a big step to take so I wanted to take it slow. However, I know it's necessary in this case, and you're all great for suggesting it. Please let me know your thoughts and feelings, your words all mean so much to me!