Chapter 29 Deflected Truth

Harry was sitting against a tree looking at the sky. It had been days since Hermione had spoken to him about the Gringotts break in, or the problems that his scar posed to his mind. He had taken to staying away from the tent. He was always within sight of it, but he preferred the cool air. The light in his face was warm even though there had been a light dusting of snow on the ground that morning. He was deep in thought over what his next move would be. He hadn't told Hermione where he had gotten his intel, or what really happened to him beyond the veil. He decided she was unlikely to believe it anyway. He decided not to trouble her with it. He caught her staring at him at times. It was a questioning look he knew well. There was a kind of hurt he couldn't quite identify behind her eyes, and he didn't know how to begin to address it. There was nothing he could do if he didn't know the problem. He contemplated the visions he had been given into Voldemort's mind. They were confused. It was more than anger it first a triumph at Dumbledore's death, but then it got more hazy. He shuddered to think what had happened to the school. There was something else he had felt, an intense sense of loss and anguish. It was a little frightening to feel such a feeling of vulnerability. It was as if the monster knew he had been wounded. There was a rage there that was almost feral. All he remembered was seeing a young man with black hair in what looked like Dumbledore's office. The boy had escaped. There was nothing else passing through the Dark Lord's mind. All his thought was consumed with the identity of the boy who had wounded him so grievously. There was a determination that it wouldn't happen again.

Harry contemplated all of this with himself, wondering what it all might mean. He began talking to his family, who he knew were there, just out of sight. It wasn't the first time he had done this. It was a common occurrence, though he kept it to a minimum when Hermione was watching. He had thought to undertake this journey alone. There was no way out for him. He knew this. Hermione didn't, and he didn't have the heart to tell her. He had been glad to see her at first, but her persistent nagging about his scar and his frustrating stubbornness to keep her away from some of the more unpleasant parts of his mission and his visions caused a sizable rift to appear between them. There was so much Harry had experienced that he couldn't share with her. She couldn't understand. He knew his parents wouldn't laugh. He could tell them of his fears and troubles. Even if they could contact him, they would always have his back, understanding him perfectly. It made him feel better to keep calm in this environment, able to shut everything else out and think of them there with him. He longed to be with them, to talk to them. It was impossible for now, but he was determined that the moment he was finished with his task, he would make the arrangement permanent. "Hermione will be fine." he told himself. After all, Ron was going to be around if they all survived this war, and Harry was willing to take the fall if it all went south. There was no reason for him to stay. All of this would be just a bad memory. There were just a few more things he needed to take care of. It would be over. Peace at long last. But Hermione could never understand.

"Harry?" Hermione said tentatively poking her head out of the tent.

Harry snapped out of his revere, and looked at her, giving the impression that she had interrupted something important. He smiled, then said, "Yeah, Hermione?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something." she said a little hesitantly. Harry was ready for the penny to drop. He turned himself toward her indicating she had his full attention. She hesitated. She looked like she was trying to find the right words to ask him, almost as if she were ready to defuse a bomb.

"What do you want to talk about?" Harry said.

"What do you do when you are out here?" Hermione asked tentatively.

"I'm enjoying the scenery." Harry said with what he thought was a convincing smile.

Hermione frowned. "I know it's not that Harry. I wanted to ask you about how you seem to know about… about everything." she said.

"Maybe I just got really good at divination while I was away." Harry said with a grin.

"Ha Ha." Hermione said taking a few steps toward him and sitting by his side, a little closer, Harry noted, than was strictly necessary, but not altogether unpleasant. He covered his slight dismay with a smile.

"I've been racking my brain on any possible ways you could have known that it was there, or even how you know that these Horcruxes exist. I have no idea. I can't think of anything, and you always seem defensive about it. You never talk about what happened at the Ministry, you constantly ignore me with your guilty look…" she said.

"Guilty look? I don't have one." Harry said.

"I've seen you lie to almost every one of our teachers, Harry." Hermione said.

"Fair point." Harry whispered to no one in particular. Hermione gave him a swift grin that disappeared as she plowed on with her interrogation.

"And you speak to thin air when you think I can't see you. You smile like I've never seen. It's like you've found a peace that you've never had. I don't see how since everything seems so wrong. Dumbledore is gone, and you seem to take it in stride like it's nothing. After the initial shock, it's like you've forgotten about it." Hermione said.

Harry shifted a little uncomfortably, but then smiled as he remembered Dumbledore trying one of his Every-Flavored-Beans in his first year in the Hospital Wing. Hermione didn't seem to understand how he could be smiling at this.

"What's going on Harry? It's like you are a different person. I know living in Greyback's camp couldn't have been easy, but you seem like something has changed. I don't know what to make of it." Hermione said.

"I can't really say. I've been in a better place than this." Harry said.

"But what do you mean? It's like you are acting more like Sirius than you are yourself!" she said.

"Dumbledore told me once that 'to the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.'" Harry said, meeting her eyes. He saw more confusion in the brown. Her brow furrowed in concentration. A sudden comprehension seemed to light up her face.

"Harry… What happened that day at the Ministry?" she asked.

Harry hesitated. How much should he tell her? He couldn't tell her everything, but maybe a portion of it. Dumbledore had taught him to treat the truth with great caution. He thought he would employ that here.

"I went to the veil room, and the Order showed up. In the fighting, I lost track of the Prophecy. It smashed. I fought with Lucius Malfoy, and when I looked up, I saw Bellatrix curse Sirius into the veil. I didn't stop to think. I ran to grab him, and take him back… I fell." Harry said.

Hermione didn't say anything. Anything that kept Harry talking was fine with her. Harry continued.

"There was a sensation I had never felt, and may never feel again. It was a light feeling, like there was no longer a fight. I was without a war. It was freeing." Harry said.

"But what did you do to come back?" Hermione said staring at him like he was an incredible discovery to be studied with a magnifying glass.

"I didn't. I was collected, by…by my parents." Harry said.

Hermione didn't know what to think of this. All she had read said the dead could not be contacted.

"Harry…" she said gently.

"I know what you are going to say, and I don't have to explain it. They were there. It was them, and they had always been there." Harry said.

Hermione didn't know what to do. She put a hand on his knee in a comforting gesture, even though her mind was still reeling from her best friend telling her that he had been among the dead.

"We talked, we laughed. We found that I am like them in more ways than I had ever known." Harry said.

Hermione let a tear fall from her eye to see his relaxed face, a look of happiness she had rarely seen. It was wonderful and heartbreaking all at once. "What then?" she said.

"I had to come back." Harry said.

"What?" she said.

"I had to come back." Harry said simply.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"I don't have an answer that will satisfy you. I just knew." Harry said with a smile.

"Why did you have to come back?" she said, dreading the answer.

"I have to destroy him." Harry said simply.

There was a long silence. Hermione laid her other hand on his knee as well and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. Harry was caught off guard, but didn't reject the contact. He seemed to be wondering how he felt about it. Hermione didn't notice this of course. She was hiding her expression of fear and confusion from him. There was just no way that his story could have happened. It was impossible, yet here he was, alive, whole, and she and Remus were the sole people who knew. There was a hope the ministry and the wizarding world had no knowledge of, and it could save them all. Hermione hid her confusion and burrowed herself into his shoulder.

Harry stared resolutely ahead. The road's end was coming nearer now, and where he was bound, Hermione could not follow. He couldn't allow it. He would end this, as fast as possible.

"Your parents… Are they the ones you have been talking to?" Hermione asked.

Harry looked down, sheepishly.

Hermione smiled. "I would like to know more about them." She said.

"My parents?" Harry said caught in mid thought.

"MmHmm." Hermione said, comfortable right where she was.

"Well, you'd like my Mum. She is full of knowledge on pretty much every subject you can think of." Harry said.

"Really?" she said.

"Yeah!" Harry said excited. "She even told me that she wasn't surprised that I had chosen someone incredibly smart for a friend." he said excitedly looking at her.

"You told your Mom about me?" Hermione said incredulously.

"I told her everything, and she seemed to know a thing or two herself already…" he continued.

Hermione listened to him for hours talking about the family he had never known, yet seemed to know everything about, as if he had lived his whole life among them. It was a wonderful day, and Hermione was going to enjoy every moment of it. Harry was here, and there seemed for those hours to be no Dark Lord, not war, no danger, just a long day in the sun with Harry Potter for company. A contentment filled her, and an apprehension that had nothing to do with the threats they were facing, and everything to do with how close she felt to him. It was terrifying and thrilling, and just a little more complicated that she had thought it would be. It felt wonderful and terrible. It was simultaneously the best and most horrible feeling she had ever had, and she felt as though she had better reach an absolution or she would be destroyed from the inside, and cease to be. If she could have thought logically at that time, she would have known that her friend could not truly remain so, and that the end of that relationship was coming, even if she hated the outcome. It would be horrible to have to deal with that along with everything else. She couldn't do it. It would destroy everything, and would he leave? Would he try to say it was for the best, that it was to protect her? She could hardly bare it, and yet she sat there in contentment in that moment, listening to the sound of his voice, and the wind flowing through the trees, accepting that all of her problems could at least wait a while. Harry noticed nothing of the turmoil. He was plainly ecstatic to be able to share all of this with someone, and Hermione was more than happy to be that person.