Part 2

Autumn Changes

Chapter 5

I can't put this off any longer. No more procrastinating. Just tell him. Ziva found herself repeating those words in her head over and over again. She was sitting on the couch, her hands folded in her lap, her legs shaking, waiting for Tony to walk through that door. Her doctor's appointment was the following day, and she had kept the secret completely to herself long enough.

She had called Abby earlier that day.

"Ziva!" Abby exclaimed when she realized who was calling.

"Hi, Abby." Ziva said shyly.

"Is everything okay?"

"I promise, Abby."

"What are you talking about?" Abby wondered.

"I cannot seem to make promises to myself anymore." She began to explain. "I have been putting something off long enough, and I have been promising myself that I will do it, but I keep breaking my promises. If I promise you, I have to go through with it. No excuses."

"Are you going to tell me what this promise is?"

"No."

"Didn't think so, but can you promise me something?" Abby inquired of Ziva as she ran a routine examination on Major Mass Spec, making sure everything was still working perfectly.

"What is it, Abby?"

"Promise me that everything is alright."

Ziva debated about whether or not she should promise that to Abby. She didn't want Abby to get suspicious, but honestly, she did not want to lie to her friend. "I promise, Abby." She had said, and those were the last words before she hung up the phone.

Abby was left with a tinge of worry, but she pushed it to the back of her mind as she continued with her examination. It couldn't be too bad. At least, that's what she told herself, and those thoughts were able to push her through the rest of the day. Well, those thoughts and the never-ending supply of caffeine.

Ziva was thinking about the phone conversation with Abby as she waited for Tony. She couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty that she had lied to her friend. She tried to reason to herself about it. Technically, she hadn't broken the promise, but she couldn't help but wonder something.

Is it automatically breaking a promise if you already know it will be broken sometime in the near future?

"Honey, I'm home!" Tony called as he came through the door.

Ziva jumped a little when she heard his voice, but she tried to play it cool and act like nothing had happened. "How was work?" she asked.

"Work was fine, and I always wanted to say 'Honey, I'm home'. You know, it felt good. Can I say it again?" he didn't wait for Ziva to respond. "Honey, I'm home!"

"You seem to be in a good mood." Come over here, and talk to me. I will ruin it for you, and wipe that smile right off your face.

"Now I am." He said before walking over to her and sitting beside her on the couch, giving her an expected kiss as he did so. "And how was your day?"

"Oh, it was fine, but Tony, there is something I really need to talk to you about while I have the courage to do so before I turn into the cowardly lion again."

"Again? Have you been trying to tell me something, Ziva?"

She nodded slowly.

"For how long?"

"Only a couple days." She assured him, but his eyes widened.

"A couple days?" he repeated.

"Tony, please listen. My courage, or lack of, has nothing to do with you. You are always so approachable, but I have had a little trouble coming to terms with this during the past few days."

"You're starting to scare me, Ziva." He said. "What is it?"

"I have, um, been, uh." She paused.

"It's okay, Ziva, you can tell me."

"I have been noticing some things that may be symptoms of breast cancer." She told him, and she could hear his sharp intake of breath. Tony immediately tensed up around her, and he reminded Ziva of a statue, frozen in time. "Tony, please say something." She begged.

Her plea snapped him out of his daze. "There really isn't much to say. You think you have breast cancer, and you don't even tell me for a few days."

"Tony, it's not like that."

"Then, what is it like, Ziva?"

"I was in denial about it. I kept thinking that it was nothing to worry about, and I did not want to wrongfully worry you, but it began to worsen, and you have a right to know. I love you, and I want you to know. We are sharing a life, and I do not want to secretly go to doctor's appointments or do anything else behind your back."

"Just to be clear," he began. "What have you done behind my back?"

"Nothing, Tony." She said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I swear, nothing. It might not even be cancer. I just set up an appointment with my doctor to make sure. Some women in my family have had it, and I do not want to take any chances."

"When's your appointment?"

"Tomorrow." She answered, and he nodded.

"Have you told anyone else about this?"

She shook her head. "You are the first to know. Don't doubt that, Tony."

"I don't. I just want to make sure you know that you can trust me with this. I know you don't want to scare me or anything, but come on! Cancer is no joke. It's hard to hear about this because believe me, I'm terrified out of my mind right now, but I need you to understand that you can tell me anything."

"I know that, Tony, and I trust you with everything." She said to him, and then she cuddled into his side, something he willingly accepted.

"What symptoms are you talking about?"

"It does not matter."

"I'd like to know."

"I don't think you would."

Something clicked in Tony's mind. "That's why you don't want to have sex!" Tony accused, and he continued upon seeing the confused expression on Ziva's face. "You know, for the past few nights, you've been saying that you're not in the mood or you're too tired or busy, but you're really self-conscious." He realized.

Ziva's eyes were enough to confirm that his statement was correct.

Tony sighed. "Everything we've been through, and you're still self-conscious around me?" he asked.

"Excuse me for wanting to me desirable around my boyfriend." She said, frustrated, before attempting to get up off the couch, but Tony pulled her back, and she didn't feel like fighting.

"You don't get it, do you?" he asked her.

"What?"

"That you're always desirable. There is nothing you can do to make me not want you. I don't care if your boobs are lime green, Ziva." He said, causing her to laugh. "I love you for what's in here." He added, placing a hand over her heart. "Not here." His other hand cupped one of her breasts playfully, not applying much pressure in case he did hurt her. "Are we clear?"

"Crystal." She whispered, taking his hands in her own and meeting him halfway for a proper kiss.

"It's like you said. This might not even be cancer."

Ziva smiled, but her pessimistic side eventually took over. "And if it is?" she wondered.

"Have you forgotten who you are?"

"Enlighten me, Mr. DiNozzo."

"You are Ziva David, someone who does not take no for an answer. Someone who cannot be replaced or cloned because you have an individual personality. You are loving, kindhearted, passionate, dedicated, loyal, beautiful, stubborn and in the words of Ms. Abigail Sciuto, 'you kick ass, and you look good doing it.' I'm sure if you can kick ass, you can kick cancer, and I'll love you all the way."

"Can I tell you something if you promise not to let it go to your head?"

"Anything."

"You really are the greatest man I've ever known." She confessed, relaxing her head again his chest. Tony smiled at her declaration. "You're letting it go to your head, aren't you?" Ziva asked after a few sweet moments of silence.

"A little bit."


While Tony was taking a shower, Ziva was reading a book, comfortably tucked into her side of the bed when her phone started ringing on her dresser. She saw that the call was Abby, so she answered the phone.

"Hello, Abby."

"Did you do whatever promise it was?"

"I did."

"And is everything okay?"

"Yes, Abby, everything is fine."


She told him! I'm sorry it took a little while, but she did tell him. What did you think about this chapter? Please leave me a review because I can't wait to hear what you think!

Serena