Well sup peeps. I knew what I wanted to write. I knew how the chapter plot was going to go. And yet the words still refused to come. Writers block sucks super massive balls.
Chapter time.
Chapter 29
The three Genin stood before the Hokage's desk, one glancing nervously at her companions as their skin visibly wriggled in excitement. Hearing the shuffling of papers, Hinata turned her gaze back to the Hokage as she tapped the edges of the mission forms into a neat pile. Raising her piercing eyes to look at the group before her, Tsunade steeped her fingers before her. Realising this, she quickly crossed her arms under her breasts.
'Damn, that's what Sarutobi-sensei used to do and he was as old as the hills. Must resist the urge in future.'
Clearing her throat, Tsunade began. "Alright. You already know what you're doing. I'm classifying this as a B rank for one simple reason. This is going to expose any flaws in the village and clan defences so I need you three to be as through as possible. If there is something you can exploit, do so. If there's an unguarded hole, you climb down it and find out where it goes. You find a guard asleep? I want them so shocked upon awakening that they'll have trouble even closing their eyes for the next week. Naruto, Naruko, you two are possibly the most devious pair ever to have graced this fine city. Make sure everyone knows why you're that good. Hinata, you are going to assist these two in any way possible. If you can get these two through the whole day without being spotted once, I will personally recommend to your father that you be placed in training for infiltration and information retrieval."
Hinata's eyes widened somewhat at this, not quite believing what she was hearing.
"So with that, I give you until Nine PM tonight to complete this mission."
Snapping to attention, the Uzumaki twins saluted Tsunade crisply, each sporting a thousand megawatt smile. "Yes sir!"
Hinata followed suit in a slightly less exuberant manner, mealy bowing and muttering a, "Yes, Hokage-sama."
With that, Tsunade leant back and clasped her hands behind her head. "In that case, go forth my minions and reap havoc."
With a surprised squeal from Hinata, Naruto and Naruko each grabbed one of the girls arms and had her out the door before Tsunade could raise her eyebrow. Chuckling, the lady shook her head and dropped the file into the 'OUT' tray. Reaching under the desk, she pulled out a bottle of sake and took a hefty swig, sighing as the liquid ran down her throat.
She knew there was going to be a lot of paper work involved in this, but for once it would be totally worth it to see all those upstarts in the council with their feathers completely ruffled. Grinning, Tsunade took another mouthful before dropping the bottle back into its place.
"Go forth my minions indeed."
XxXxXxX
Tsunade sat at her desk looking over some mundane D rank mission report, trusty bottle of sake by her side to help ease her way through the paper pile to her right. Sighing, she looked to the clock and frowned. It was now 8:30pm and not a single peep had been heard all day about anything. She had expected atleast one or two clan heads to come storming in by now, demanding an excuse. Unfortunately, the most exciting thing that had happened all day was a Chuunin that had accidentally broken her leg in a training mishap.
Rolling her eyes, she looked over at the pile and growled. Honestly, everything there would be the same as what she read several thousand times before. Quickly extending her senses, she verified that there wasn't anyone within fifty feet of the office. Smiling, her hands flicked through some seals and she inhaled a slightly larger than normal breath. The small fire jutsu was then disrupted as a pair of small hands clamped themselves over her eyes and a deafening voice rang out, "GUESS WHO?"
Naruto then had to take a step back as the current Hokage exploded into a massive coughing fit as black smoke poured from her mouth and nose. Deciding to wait it out, the trio of Genin walked around to the front of the desk, patiently enduring the loud gasping noises and gags Tsunade struggled through.
Finally after one last mighty cough, Tsunade welled up a mass in her mouth and spat the thick black substance out the window, not sparing a thought for the cry of outrage from the fellow it landed on. Wiping her mouth, she then rounded on the beaming Naruto, eyes narrowed dangerously. Storming forward, Naruto quickly held up both hands.
"Ah-ah it was for the mission Baa-chan, the mission!"
Pausing, she looked at his comrades. Naruko was just standing there confidently while Hinata shivered under the heavy gaze of her superior.
"How so?"
This time Naruko stepped forward. "Well, you said the village gets lazy in times of peace. You're a part of the village too, so we thought we'd see how you were doing." She giggled. "Even though it was super funny, sorry Baa-chan, but you fail!" Both blonds then held their fists out, thumbs down, tongues out.
Though the temptation to smack them was overwhelming, Tsunade swallowed her anger and sighed. She was the one who authorised the mission so she should have expected something like this, or put down that attacking the Hokage was off limits.
Slouching down on the edge of her desk, Tsunade crossed her arms and sighed. "I suppose so. But still, why am I the only one you have targeted? I haven't heard a single complaint all day!"
The grin that crossed the two blonds face, and even to some extent Hinata's, put the wizened lady on edge. Tilting her head slightly, she narrowed one eye.
"That just proves how awesome we are, doesn't it? A whole day and not one report! We're just too damn good!"
Tsunade then took notice that they had all shed their normal clothing and had actually replaced it with matching sleek black, skin tight assassin gear. She nodded to herself beginning to understand.
"So that's why you three are now in those suits?"
The Uzumaki twins narrowed their eyes in disgust but nodded. "Yeah, Hinata talked us into it. Orange is the colour of legends, but because Hinata isn't as good as us at hiding, we needed to get black."
Naruko picked at the fabric on and around her breasts and grimaced. "It also makes everything stick out and look bigger, ya know? I'm just glad none of our classmates saw us else they'd never let us live it down."
Tsunade looked over at Hinata and noticed the girl blushing fairly heavily, with a little trickle of blood running down her top lip. The Hokage snickered to herself but said nothing. Seems like Hinata had had a good day following Naruto around and getting a fine look at his backside. She didn't call her out on it though. The world knows the girl would die of embarrassment.
Nodding, Tsunade grabbed her bottle and took a swig, removing the lingering taste of ash from her mouth. Looking at the clock, she saw it was now 8:45. Seeing her check the time, Naruto ran up and grabbed her hand, pulling her away from the desk. Eyebrows raising, Tsunade allowed herself to be led towards the door.
"Where are we going?"
A helpful pair of hands placed themselves in the middle of her lower back and stared pushing. Looking over her shoulder, Tsunade saw Naruko pushing her along, a brilliant smile on her face.
"Well dah, we gotta show you! We'll just have enough time to get to the top of the Hokage Mountain!"
Now thoroughly curious about just what these three had managed to do, Tsunade picked up the pace. "You didn't do anything too destructive, did you?"
Naruto shook his head, not looking back. "Naw, well, nothing too lasting. Besides, it still hasn't happened yet!"
XxXxXxX
The four ninja now stood on top of the third's head, looking out over the town. Looking around, Tsunade couldn't detect anything abnormal so looked down at her companions. "Well, what are we waiting for?"
Naruto shook his head and grinned. "Nah, not yet, we still have thirty seconds to go."
Raising an eyebrow, Tsunade looked back out over the city. Fifteen seconds.
"Alright Hinata, hit it!"
"Eh?"
Looking over, Tsunade saw Hinata close her eyes and start moulding chakra.
"Nah, nah, Baa-chan look at the city!"
Tearing her eyes off the concentrating girl, Tsunade unconsciously began counting down with the two bouncing blonds either side her.
"Five!"
Tsunade felt a gentle chakra wave flow from Hinata.
"Four!"
At the edge of her senses, she felt something react to the girls energy and disappear.
"Three!"
A couple of soft pops were heard at the bottom of the mountain, signifying the beginnings of something big.
"Two!"
Holding her breath, Tsunade almost was almost tempted to close her eyes.
"ONE!"
And then with a joyous cry from both Uzumaki's and even an excited little squeal from Hinata, the city lit up in an explosion of colour. Tsunade's eyes widened as a chain reaction set off thousands of little bombs throughout the city, coating everything within eyesight in paint. Then a multitude of voices raised and almost as one, every single person, ninja or civilian, screamed out one name furiously, "NARUTOOOOO!"
Eye's wide, Tsunade looked down at Naruto, his eyes full of uncontrollable glee. "You see that Baa-chan, DO YOU SEE IT? Everyone thought that me painting the Hokage's faces was bad! Well how about this then Konoha? I painted the WHOLE CITY!"
XxXxXxX
The next day, Tsunade had the Hokage's room full of screaming, messy, frustrated and sleep deprived ninja, all calling for the immediate discipline and subsequent stripping of one Uzumaki's station as a ninja.
It seems that none of them had taken it too kindly when every wall of every home had had a little paint bomb explode onto the wall, with a grinning Naruto's face as the result.
Tsunade actually wondered why more of them weren't impressed with the Genin's effort. Standing from up on the Hokage's Mountain, she had seen that the three of them had managed to arrange the bombs in such a way that a single, massive grinning Naruto face had covered the whole city. It was actually kind of daunting how well they had managed to set it up.
Smiling despite the enraged cries, Tsunade leant back and let them vent. They'll understand the reason soon enough. For now though, the Hokage just smiled, knowing that she had been let off very easily.
XxXxXxX
Stretching, the busty Hokage sighed happily as she walked out of her prison/workplace. After dealing with that rabble, she was happily looking forward to her night alone. Everything had been sorted out after many hours of fighting with them, but it had taken a very big toll on her mental health i.e. in the form of a headache of legends. Tsunade considered taking a sicky the following day, but just snorted at the thought. The world's greatest medic, taking a sicky? Not likely. Dropping her arms back to her sides, she looked to the sky and smiled as the stars twinkled merrily in the sky. She thanked whoever was out there watching over them though that she had managed to convince Naruto and Naruko to go home for that night. Now all she had to worry about was the breakfast rush in the morning. Hearing a rustle, Tsunade looked to the side and saw Jiraiya's head sticking out of a bush.
"Psst, Hime."
Rolling her eyes, Tsunade stopped. "What do you want?"
Jiraiya frowned and mealy walked from the bush. As soon as she saw him, she let out a very unladylike snort and slapped a hand to her mouth to stop herself from bursting out laughing. It seemed Naruto had held a special place for his old sensei, for every piece of clothing on had 'WARNING: PERVERT' written on it somewhere.
"Look what that piglet did to me! I can't go anywhere without every lady glaring at me! How am I meant to get my research done like this?"
Tsunade stuck her tongue out and bit it gently in an attempt to stop laughing. "Well, atleast everyone knows you for what you are now."
Jiraiya scrunched his eyebrows in frustration. "But that's the thing; I don't need something like this to tell everyone that! I'd be the first person to admit it! This though... this is severally inhibiting my ability to work! I could claim compensation!"
Tsunade shook her head. "You never will be allowed to claim compensation when your 'work' involves peeking in at naked girls. Besides, how did Naruto manage to get you? I thought you were better than that."
Jiraiya grumbled something before speaking up. "Not Naruto, Naruko. That little devil used her amazingly sexy whiles to have me lower my defences before she slapped me with all these tiny bomb things. The reason I haven't changed too is because those brats went and tagged every change of clothes I had." His face then took on a slight leer. "I'll tell you what though; did she look fine in that tight black suit or what? The way it clung to her boobs and the slight jiggle she put into her hips..." He sucked up a stray line of drool. "Absolutely incredible."
Tsunade frowned at the lecher trailed off. "Normally I'd have smacked you halfway through that spiel, but if I did then I'd be a hypocrite."
Jiraiya's eyes widened somewhat. "You mean you were checking out Naruto?"
Tsunade shook her head. "Of course not, the boy is thirteen, and besides, they develop later than girls."
Jiraiya grinned and slid up beside her. "So your saying you wouldn't...?"
Tsunade pushed him away. The gentle shove sent him into a tree ten meters away. "Leave me be. If he's to look anything like Minato when he grows up he'll be a stunner for sure. But as of the moment he's still just a snot nosed tadpole."
Pulling his head from the tree, Jiraiya turned back to Tsunade. "So what was that last comment about?"
Tsunade grinned to herself. "Let's just say little Hinata had a wonderful day following that boy around."
Jiraiya clued on instantly and a matching grin sprung to his face. "Ah I see... maybe I should follow them sometime..."
Tsunade grabbed his clothes and pulled him down to her eye level. "Don't you dare. Besides, that mission was a once off thing. You won't ever get another chance."
Just as she was about to let him go, Tsunade noticed a mark on the man's usually clean chest. "Wait, what's that?"
"Eh?"
Looking down, Jiraiya pulled his shirt open to reveal a large, 'You been tagged, biatch' scrawled diagonally across his chest and stomach. Tsunade couldn't catch herself in time and let out a mighty bark of laughter before grabbing her nose and managed to reduce herself to a bunch of painful sounding snorts. Jiraiya meanwhile was looking down at himself in horror, trying to rub the stuff off him.
"Damn that girl! She used permanent ink!"
Tsunade snapped her eyes shut as an extra powerful snort rocked her small frame, bringing tears to her eyes. Dropping to the ground, she didn't particularly care who saw as the leader of Konoha tried her best to stop herself from death by laughter. Even when that boy was nowhere to be found, he still managed to make her day complete with some totally unexpected stunt like this. Turning away from Jiraiya, Tsunade took several deep breaths as she managed to calm herself somewhat. Wiping away the tear marks down her cheeks, she took a deep breath and turned back to face her team mate. Just then though, Naruto came belting down the street, tears streaming from his eyes and panic clearly visible in them.
"Baa-chan, Baa-chan, Baa-chan, please help! Help!"
Instantly on edge, she opened her arms as Naruto barrelled into her at full speed. Grimacing as his force knocked the wind out of her, she tried to pull his crying face away from her chest and get him to look at her.
"Naruto, there there, what's wrong? Tell me, otherwise I don't know what's going on ok?"
Naruto muffled something into her shirt and started crying harder.
Frowning, Tsunade forcefully pulled him away and knelt down to his eye level. "What was that?"
Clenching his eyes shut, the boy bundled his fists together before screaming out, "THEY TOOK HER! NARUKO'S GONE!"
XxXxXxX
A/N – Ain't I a stinker? Please, feel free to let me know in a review ^.^ Try have a guess who dun it too aye? I bet you can't work it out!
Sorry the chapter's a little shorter, but I just pumped it out so you fine people weren't left wanting any longer.
Lanky
