Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise, I just use their creations to have my wicked way with them. No copyright infringement is intended.
Jadsmama deserves my undying love and gratitude for putting up with my choppy and ridiculously long sentences and making them pretty. Love ya!
As always, pictures of all sights, people, clothes and vehicles mentioned in this chapter can be found on my blog. You can find the link on my profile page.
Chapter 26 – The City that Never Sleeps
Because it's suffering from a broken heart.
Friday, 4 AM
"Bella!" Alice's arms were around me the minute I stumbled out of the arrivals terminal, my body shaking with dry sobs as I rested my head on her shoulder.
Home.
There were no words to describe how happy I was to be back on American soil. The last couple of days…they'd been hell, at least the parts of them that I could remember that was. The rest, it was all a blurry string of every bad nightmare I'd ever had coming to life.
When I left the room that night after my fight with Edward I needed time and space to clear my head. The stuff Tanya had unwittingly revealed to me during our chat had given me enough to think about on its own but it was peanuts compared to the utter devastation I felt when I realized that Edward had kept all of that from me. He may have had his reasons for doing so and, keeping his own history in mind, I could even understand why he'd done it but the fact that he'd broken his promise to me and didn't even seem to grasp how big an issue that was to me.
If only I'd known. If only I'd realized that where I needed space, he needed reassurance of the fact that there was still a future for us in spite of all the hurdles he'd thrown in our way, I never would have left.
I thought that taking a few hours to cool off, get some rest and (hopefully) gain some perspective would do us both good. We were both tired and worn and the events of the night had rattled us to the bone. If we'd have kept going like we had been it would probably have ended in me giving in even I didn't want to or saying something I was going to regret later on. I was doing the good thing; the rational thing. Or so I'd thought.
When I walked into the other room the next morning, the emptiness struck me like a freight train.
He left me.
Somewhere the previous night he must have concluded that this was the end and that all was left for him to claim was the ability to be the first one to pull the plug. The realization, as I stared at the empty surfaces that had only yesterday held his toothbrush, his razor and all of the other things that let me know he was there, had made me collapse like a deflated balloon, tears streaming down my face as slowly but surely my mind started to accept the truth that was so blatantly staring me in the face.
He'd gone away.
It was hours later when Tanya and Heidi found me on the bed, almost catatonic after an earlier outburst of anger and grief and took me under their wing. I owed them. Big time.
Not only had they made sure I was okay, something the man who claimed to have loved me failed to do, they also managed to drag me back out onto the streets and show me their city, forcing me to do my job and take my mind off of Edward for most of the day. Somehow their efforts had managed to pull me out of my despair and into a sort of numbness that at least allowed me to function. I liked it, this emotionless stupor I was in, because it kept the worst of the pain at bay.
"I have to make a phone call." My voice sounded distant, like it was coming from another room, as I dug around my purse in search of my phone. "I have to call Tanya and let her know…."
"I already took care of that." Alice's hands folded around mine just in time to catch the shaking phone before it would fall straight into an undefined, nasty looking brown smear on the carpet of the backseat of the taxi we were in.
Huh? Since when had we been on the road?
"You called-"
"Tanya?" Alice asked, smiling sweetly even though I could see the worry in her eyes. "Yes. As soon as we made it onto the freeway."
I wished there was something I could do to reassure her that this emotionless robot she was sitting next to wouldn't be around indefinitely but for now all I could do was settle for a mechanic. "Oh."
"She's back in Amsterdam," Alice went on. "She was happy to know you made it home safe and asks you to contact her when you're feeling better again."
"Oh," I repeated myself. "Has she-"
"Nothing." Alice's voice was clipped and short, mercifully interrupting me before I had to speak his name. "Not that I think she's been looking for him."
"Oh." I looked out the window, noting that we were already back in Brooklyn. Almost home.
Buildings flew by in a blur, my eyes too tired to turn them into focus until finally the cab came to a halt in front of our building, strong arms supporting me as we made our way up to the apartment.
And finally I was home. I sighed, my throat closing as tears started to drip from my eyes again, as my head hit the pillow, my body cocooned by the most comforting smell in the world: safety.
oOo
Friday, 10 PM
"He left me a note." My voice sounded hoarse from a lack of talking and an abundance of crying as I spoke, the force of it barely registering above the blaring of the television in front of us.
Alice had dragged me out of the bed a couple of hours ago in the hopes some food, a lot of booze and an evening filled with Titanic would move the 'healing process' further ahead than me wallowing underneath a duvet and a stack of pillows. I wished I could share her faith in me.
Over the last couple of days I'd slowly but surely morphed back into something resembling the old me. True, I was still part robot and scaring the hell out of Alice half the time, but at least the pain had now ebbed away to a point where I could also be part functioning-human-being again.
"Huh?" Alice looked up, Leonardo DiCaprio and the sinking Titanic momentarily forgotten. I never knew a ship could take that fucking long to sink, especially with a big, fat hole in its side.
"When he left?" I tried again. "He left a note. On the bed." What I conveniently left out was that I'd only found it after I'd buried myself in the wadded up covers, trying to cling to his lingering scent as panic and despair rapidly started to engulf me. Sad. Yes, I knew.
"The fucker left you a note?" Alice cried, jumping up from the sofa in a fit of rage. "What an asshole!"
"What did it say?" Jasper, who'd until now had been consciously absent in the conversation, hovering inconspicuously in the background in case Alice needed him to schlep me back to my bedroom when I collapsed into a simpering puddle of heartbreak. Again.
I was ashamed to say that it had been quite a regular occurrence these days, as my brain tried to find the perfect balance between robot and 'real girl' and as much as Jasper never complained and appeared to be happy to be spending this much extra time with his girl, I had to admit I was starting to feel sorry for the guy. There were only so many chick flicks a guy could sit through before his brain would explode from 'romantic girly overload'.
"Here," I dug into my bra, pulling the carefully folded sheet of paper out and handing it to my cousin. Yes, I kept it in my bra because that way it formed a sort of shield around my heart, reminding it that it should be angry, not broken. "Read it. It's okay."
If Alice noticed the hiding place of the letter, she didn't comment on it, her eyes widening as if she'd just found the fucking 'Heart of the Ocean' or something.
I closed my eyes, not needing the paper to see the letters in front of me. Over the last couple of days I'd read that damned letter so often I knew it by heart, the meaning of its words unchangeable no matter how long I tried to analyze them.
I know you will hate me for what I am about to do but please understand that I cannot stay here. I know that what I did was unforgivable and I will not offend you by asking for forgiveness but please know that I'm sorry for what I did. Very sorry. It won't do me any good, since you told me yourself that I'd gone too far but I did want you to know.
I will not bother you again, you can rest assured of that. By the time you read this, I will be long gone. I've asked Jane to relieve you of my company and I'm sure she will come up with a replacement more suitable to the task than I could ever be.
I ask you not to search for me or try to contact me in any way. Believe me, it may not seem like it right now but in the end it will be the best thing for both of us. Try as I might, I can never be the man you deserve so it's better to part ways now before I hurt you even more than I did last night.
Be happy, live your life and explore that amazing talent that you have and that is waiting to burst out into its full potential. I know you have it in you to do great things, Bella, as long as you believe in yourself and don't let anyone hold you back.
Farewell. I hope that in time it will be as if I never existed.
Edward.
Tears were streaming down my face as slowly the erratic handwriting and hastily scribbled words started to dissolve in front of my mind's eye, their meaning still hurting even after days of trying to digest the fact that Edward – my lover, my love – had simply walked out on me.
Just like that. He'd taken off in the middle of the night without even caring enough to look back.
Like I was some kind of dead weight he couldn't wait to get rid of; fled away like a coward because he couldn't handle the thought that maybe his actions had hurt me so deeply that I couldn't see a way out…..a way we could ever make it through this.
He'd been mistaken.
When I'd stepped into our room that morning, I'd been ready to work through it. Yes, he'd hurt me and yes, I had some very choice words to say to him but I did believe we could move past everything that had happened in the last couple of hours. I thought we were strong enough to do that.
If only I'd have known in advance how wrong I'd been to think that. Anger started to well up inside of me when I recalled the feeling, the realization that the room was empty; that Edward had left.
Apparently, Alice was drawing from the same book. "If I ever see that guy again….."she was so angry her whole frame was shaking, her hands crumbling the paper into a tiny, wrinkly wad. "….I'm going to kick his balls so far back into his body he'll be gaining a new set of tonsils."
Wow. Even in my current state that was…..wow.
Jasper must have thought the same thing because I caught him stealthily crossing his legs to protect the jewels as he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he stared at his beloved with no small amount of fear.
"And you're going to let me, Bella," Alice warned her narrowed eyes shooting daggers as she looked at me.
Like there was anything I could do to stop her, even if I wanted to. Which, I had to admit, I wasn't altogether so sure of. "Hey!" I hastened to defend myself. "The guy's an asshole for leaving me like that. You get no argument from me. It's just…."
And just like that, rage gave way to devastation again, my shoulders sagging as the memory of the good times – every kiss, every touch, every caress – washed over me and I realized how much I was going to miss him; how much I missed him already. Yes, it was easy to give Alice cart blanche in doing whatever the hell she wanted since that damned letter had made it pretty clear to me that neither she or I would ever see him again. He was gone for good.
I cried, my tears being lend a more legitimate air when behind us, on the screen, Leonardo froze into a 'pretty boy' popsicle in the water and Rose (who, by the way, just promised to never let him go) claimed her freedom by yanking her hand out of his grasp and let him sink to the bottom.
I cried until in the end Jasper carried my limp body back to the safety of my bed where I drifted into an uneasy, alcohol clouded sleep in the hope that, just as dad always used to say, everything would look better in the morning.
oOo
Saturday, 2 AM
I giggled, the tip of the feather tickling my skin as he dragged it along my throat, my breath coming in gasps as it drifted lower and lower, a feathery touch to my hardened nipples as Edward grinned mischievously at me. "Ticklish are we, Miss Swan?"
I could feel my blush pinking my cheeks, heat radiating from every pore as the feather drifted lower still, my hips moving of their own volition in an attempt to make him pick up speed.
He chuckled, a small whimper leaving my lips as he tossed the feather to the side. "Impatient?"
I looked up at him, my fingers running along his strong jaw before closing around his neck, pulling him towards me. "Always."
His lips against mine were utter bliss, soft and yielding yet strong and commanding as his hands settled on my ass, pulling me into him and making our bodies align almost as if it were a second nature.
"I love you, Isabella Swan," he crooned, his voice in my ear as his hard flesh pressed into me. "I will never hurt you, ever again."
"I love you too, Edward," I gasped, a tear rolled over my cheek, my whole body singing with the joy of having him inside me again. "I trust you."
There was a smile on his face that didn't correspond with his actions. It was malicious, almost as if there had been something in my words that made him triumph over me. It gave me the creeps.
My body jolted upright when suddenly a door slammed open. "I told you she'd do it!" Mike marched in, looking as triumphant as he walked up to the bed, bumping his fists with an equally smug looking Edward. "I told you she'd take you back!"
"W-what's going on?" I stammered, scrambling to cover myself with the suddenly too small sheet as Mike and Edward watched….watched and laughed. "Edward?"
"Bella," she snickered, shaking his head in mock disbelief. "You really are too trusting for your own good!"
I shocked awake, my body cold and wet with perspiration as I scrambled to make it to the bathroom on time to deposit the meager remains of everything I'd forced myself to eat that evening, the cold stone tiles feeling almost mercifully painful against my body as I slumped against them, crying until my tears ran dry.
Why did this have to happen to me? What had I done to deserve it?
"Shhhhh, Bella." Soft arms wrapped around me, brushing the tears away and warming me. "I'm here, sweetie. I'm here."
"Why couldn't he just…." I sobbed, basking in the warmth of her embrace. "Why wasn't my love enough for him?"
"He's not worth it, Bella!" Alice's voice sounded fierce as she rubbed my back, letting me cry on her shoulders. "Don't waste your tears on that useless waste of space!"
I wished it were that simple. I wished I could just come to the same conclusion as she did and forget about him.
Move on. Just as he seemed to have been doing that night.
Stronger arms lifted me off the cold floor, my body falling listlessly in whatever shape the arms molded me as compassionate as worried voices filled the air. Jasper.
I tried to focus on what they were saying but my mind was too foggy to focus on any words, my body slowly seeping into a blissful state of unawareness as toasty warmth enveloped me like a cocoon.
Yes, this was what I wanted. To forget.
To forget everything; Edward, the pain my work, the world…everything..
oOo
Saturday, 9:30 AM
"Up!" I shrieked, almost banging my head on the hardwood headboard as Rose marched into my room, all kick-assness and not taking prisoners as she headed over to the windows and yanked the curtains aside. "Fucking hell, Swan! It smells like a fucking sewer in here! What in God's name have you been doing?"
I sat up, scratching my head as I blinked against the sudden influx of light. "Hey, Rose." My voice sounded hoarse and raspy, like I'd been smoking at least two packets a day since I was fourteen. Or, closer to the truth, crying like a little bitch for hours on end.
"I'll tell you what you have been doing." Rose's eyes zoned in on me, her finger pointing towards me almost accusingly as she marched in my direction. "You, Bella Swan, have been wallowing."
I frowned, not quite understanding what was so horrible about that to warrant such a reaction. "Err….yeah?" I mean, I'd just been dumped by my boyfriend in one of the most cruel ways known to man. Wallowing seemed like a pretty damn good idea to me.
"Why are you letting him take the glory from the battlefield when you could be out there, looking fabulous and getting over him with dozens of hot guys!"
Battlefield? What the fuck? Who was she trying to be? The General Patton of heartbreak?
I swallowed, nausea taking over again at even the thought of what Rose was suggesting. "Because I'm not like that?"
"Well," Rose glared, her hands on her hip, "have you ever wondered if maybe you should be?"
"No?" I replied honestly. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. Maybe that was because I'd been so busy wallowing and clinging to my robotic self to even think about anything else.
"Humph!" Rose huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she glared at me. "Just figures!"
"Sorry." I bunched up my sheets and pillows around me as if to built some sort of fortress as I tried to find out what the hell I was apologizing for.
"Get your ass out of that bed, Swan!" Rosalie ordered, my body promptly obeying. Wow. I never knew I could move this fast without even thinking. "If I'm not going to get you laid, then at least I'm going to get some food into you. Even if it kills me."
Right. I figured it would be futile to resist as I trudged after her into the living room. It was best just to let her do her worst in the hope that in the end she;d let me get back to my bed and my numbness. "Where's Alice?"
"She had to run some errands," Rose answered, pulling the covers off an elaborate – far too elaborate – store bought breakfast. "She asked me to take care of you."
"Great!" I croaked, dutifully opening my mouth as Rose, with a motherly care that amazed me even in the state I was in, started to shove breakfast through my throat like I was a fucking Christmas goose.
I was already missing the safety and security of my bed.
oOo
Saturday, 2 PM
"Bella?" I looked up from behind 'mount wallow', the carefully constructed fortress of blankets and pillows I'd fabricated after Rose left, my chest releasing a sigh of relief when my eyes confirmed that it was my cousin and not scary-Amazon-I'll-make-a-ho-out-of-you-if-it-kills-me Rose.
"Yeah?" Ooh, my voice was starting to sound like my voice again! That was progress, right?
I'd gone straight back to bed the moment Rose had satisfied herself that I wasn't going to die of famine (she'd seen to that alright!) and there weren't any sharp objects within range of my cushy little fortress, sleep claiming me almost as soon as my head hit the mattress again.
"Uhm…I don't know if you noticed…or if you even care…" Alice fidgeted, her words interrupted by much lip biting and awkward fumbling with the sleeves of her sweater, "but it's Saturday and the ball and…and I kind of promised Jane I'd get you there."
The room didn't spin as much as I expected when I sat up, fumbling around the rat's nest on top of my head. "You promised Jane…what?"
"Well, promised not so much as that she threatened me with loss-of-limb if I didn't get you out to the Children's cancer Benefit looking like your usual radiant self," Alice explained, biting her lip and looking all kinds of apologetic.
Ah, right. The Children's Cancer Benefit. Forgot about that. Shit. "Oh." I scratched the back of my head, trying to think of a good excuse to get me out of this but, unfortunately, drawing a complete blank. Shit.
"Now, I'd so let her rip of an arm or two, you know I would," Alice hurried to add. "But-"
I sighed, interrupting Alice's nervous ramblings. "It's okay, Alice." There were few places in the world I looked less forward to going than the benefit but I knew how much was riding on this night. For Jane. For Alice. For me. It were those thought that finally made me swallow my panic at having to go out into the open, where everyone could see my pain and croak out a fast, "I'll go."
oOo
Saturday, 5 PM
"I think this is about as good as it's gonna get," Alice sighed, stepping away from her handiwork as she gave me a final once over.
"Jeez! Thanks Ally!" I snorted. "That makes me feel so much better." I knew my face was still pale and puffy from crying and my skin pale and grayish from being buried in the protection of Mount Duvet for days but somehow Alice had managed to turn me into some sort of 'normal' human being again, my face caked in so much makeup I barely even recognized myself. And maybe that was for the better.
"Hush, Swan!"Alice scolded me, twirling around the chair with a mirror in her hands to allow me to admire her handiwork. "You know you're pretty!"
I sighed, pursing my lips. "Yeah, because wallowing in self-pity for twenty-four hours is such a good look on a woman!"
Alice put the mirror away, placing her hands on my shoulders as she stood behind me, our eyes linked through the vanity mirror. "We'll get you through this, Bella."
Folding one of my hands over one of hers I forced my lips into a smile. "I know, Ally, and you know I love you for it, right? Even more than I already did." And I did, because as much as I hated the whole poking and prodding of Alice and her 'extreme makeovers', this time it had been just the thing I needed to make me feel human again.
"I know." She leaned in, kissing the top of my head. "Do me a favor?"
"What?" I asked wearily. Experience had taught me that most of the times doing her a favor would land me in the most uncomfortable situations in my life.
"Try to have some fun?" She smiled, placing her hand delicately on my shoulder. "I know you probably don't feel like it but will you try? For me?"
"I'll do everything for you, you know that!" I chuckled, patting the hand still on my shoulder. I would try, for her, even though the chances of success were slim to none. "Even if it's just to say 'thank you' for making me look presentable."
Alice's mouth opened in mock horror! "I beg your pardon! I did a whole lot more than make you look presentable! You look damn hot, if I may say so."
I chuckled, feeling almost as shocked at the sensation as Alice seemed to be. I was actually smiling. Who would have thought? "Now you're talking!"
"Seriously!" she went on. "I'd do you myself if I swung that way and if I weren't as squicked out by the thought of getting up close and personal with a first cousin. In fact-"
"Okay! Okay! I get it!" I shrieked, holding my hands up in surrender. "I look hot! Now can we please get back to a topic that won't make me hurl?"
"I'm glad we agree," Alice snickered, looking mightily smug. "Now do you need help getting into your dress or are you fine on your own for a while?"
I rolled my eyes. "I've been known for my remarkable ability to dress myself ever since the age of four. I'm sure I'll manage on my own."
"Good." Alice nodded. "I'll be just across the hall getting ready."
Glancing at the clock I realized she only had about thirty minutes to get ready before jasper would arrive to pick her up. She was cutting it close. Because of me.
"Thanks, Ally." She turned in the doorway, catching my eyes through the mirror again. "Do you need any help?"
"Nah," she grinned. "You know me. A simple comb through my hair and a bit of lip gloss and I'll be ready to turn every set of eyes in the room."
I smiled, shaking my head as the soft click of the closing door left me on my own again, my eyes falling on the beautiful petrol green dress hanging from my closet door.
Green. It was remarkable how fast a girl could grow to hate a color almost as much as she loved it.
"Well, at least it's not emerald," I sighed out loud, knowing how hard Alice had searched to find the perfect dress for me from amongst the many beautiful but horribly overpriced designer dresses tucked away in the Epicenter closet.
And she had found the perfect dress. Well, perfect for me.
I'd never asked her how much it cost but as I stepped into it, the softness of the fabric and the exquisite detail of the lace that trimmed the neckline and the wide, short cap sleeves I knew it must have been expensive.
Still, cost aside, it was the kind of dress I'd pick for an event such as the one I'd be attending that night. It was elegant and chic but with a slightly laidback, almost old-world twist. I cringed, my mind almost automatically forming the word 'bohemian' in my mind. At least tonight would come with enough diversions to keep my mind off him.
I quickly finished getting dressed and made it out of the room right on time to open the door for Jasper, my ears still getting used to the feeling of the heavy, borrowed earrings that Alice had foisted upon me because they matched the dress. Yeah, I wonder if she still thinks that when my earlobes stretch all the way to the floor because of the damn weight attached to them!
"My, Miss Swan," Jasper hummed, looking all suave Southern gentleman in his suit. "You do look mighty fine this evening, if I may say so."
I arched one brow, staring back at him. "Good evening Jasper. Does Alice know you're flirting with other women?"
"He only does it with the ones he knows won't flirt back."Both our heads turned to find Alice leaning seductively against the doorway, "That is, if he knows what's good for him."
I stepped to the side, the looks in both their eyes making it wholly unnecessary for me to do anything but make myself scarce, a sharp flash of jealousy tearing through my heart when I realized how much I was going to miss seeing that look on Edward. I was going to miss that look. I already did.
"So cowboy?" I asked, trying my damndest to make my voice seem coy instead of desperate for something to divert my attention with. "Are you going to stand there all night, letting the heat drift out of our home, or are you going to come in like a proper gentleman and woo the hell out of my cousin?"
He grinned, playing along. "Just picking the little lady up for dinner, ma'am."
"In that case," I shrugged, letting go of the door, "you'd better get a move on or you'll have to settle for a drive-through at Mickey D's."
Jasper laughed, his free, deep guffaws a welcome change to the heavy atmosphere in the apartment as Alice slowly started to dance towards him, her dress clinging to her perfect body and her neckline so low I was amazed her boobs weren't trying to make a dash for freedom.
"Jasper, honey, you know I love you, right?" Alice spoke, batting her lashes as her boyfriend.
"Of course I do, darlin'," Jasper chuckled, kissing the top of her head.
"Good man," Alice grinned, running her thumb over the back of his hand. "However…if you ever call me your 'little lady' again, I'll kick you where it hurts, got that?"
Jasper cringed, one hand moving protectively over his junk. "Loud and clear."
"Good." She gave him another one of her sharp smiles before turning her attention back to me. "Now, Bella, are you sure you'll be okay to wait her on your own? I mean, Jasper could always call the restaurant and ask if they add another plate to the table-"
"No!" I insisted, a little more vehemently than I intended. The thought alone of sitting between those two like some sort of sad, wilted spinster of a third wheel made me want to crawl back into my hideyhole and forget the rest of the world existed. And it wasn't as if I hadn't done plenty that in the last….ooh, forty-eight hours.
"Seriously, Ally." I took a breath, somehow managing to plaster a weak smile on my face along the way. "I'll be fine. Jacob will be here in a couple of minutes and I'm sure we'll be able to pass the time before the limo gets here."
"Very well," Alice sighed, pulling me into a big, perfumey hug. "But please know that we're only a phone call away if you need us. Seriously, we'll come running."
"Yes, mom!" I sighed, rolling my eyes as I let my body go all floppy and boneless in her arms, knowing I wouldn't call that number even if the apartment was set on fire and Hannibal Lecter himself was running after me, knives blazing, to turn me into a late-afternoon snack.
This was her big night. She'd been looking forward to it all year, even when she thought she'd be dateless and I'd be waiting for her at the apartment underneath a thick duvet and layers of ratty sweats.
And now…now it was even better. She got to share it with the man of her dreams and her awkward and very reluctant cousin and best friend. I'd never stand in the way of that, especially not after everything she'd done for me over the last couple of days. She deserved her chance to shine.
"Now go!" I urged her, pushing her back as I stepped out of our hug. "Have fun, you two! I'll see you later!"
oOo
Saturday 8.30 PM
"Ready to be thrown in front of the lions?" Jacob – or Jake, as he'd told me his friends called him – nudged his head in the direction of the scene unfolding on the other side of the window.
I swallowed hard, the flashing lights of too many camera's and the people parading in front of them in clothes that cost more money than I'd ever see in my life adding to the sense of dread that hung over this night.
This wasn't me. I wasn't made for events like these. Hell, I didn't even know how to act!
"Calm down, Bells!" Jake chuckled, patting my clammy hand over the rear console. "They're not actually going to eat you." For someone who'd been forced by our boss to take me out, Jake was turning into the best date-slash-possible-new-friend I could have wished for, his sunny personality making me forget my misery for a few moments and just bask in the warmth of his company.
"I know that!" I muttered, though with both Aro Volturi and Jane Livingstone roaming the building, I wasn't actually that sure about it.
"Relax!" Apparently my nerves formed a never-ending source of entertainment for my companion as he kept on laughing. "Just stick with me and I'll make sure you'll get through this."
I sighed, looking into his friendly brown eyes. "Thanks, Jake."
"My pleasure." His grin widened. "You know, this whole 'dating women' thing isn't as hard as I thought it would be."
I snorted. "Well, maybe I'm just going easy on you!"
"Yeah," he chuckled. "Maybe it's that."
"So," I drawled, stretching the 'o' until I was almost blue in the face. "Do you want to get out there?" I nudged my head in the direction of the red carpet, the faint sounds of paparazzi screaming bloody murder in their attempts to get the best pictures and the flash of camera's assaulting my senses. Why oh why did I ever leave the safety of my bed?
"Not really," he grinned, "but we can't keep hiding in here, can we?"
"Nope." There was nothing in the world I wanted to do more than sit in that car for the rest of the night if it meant that I didn't have to go out there. But I knew I had to.
"Let's just do this," I sighed, balling my hands into fists as I took a deep breath, remembering that the people out there – though equipped with a whole different set of norms and values – were still people after all. Or, as dad used to say: no matter how much money they had in the bank, even they farted in the bed when they thought no one would notice.
Yuck.
"That's my girl." There seemed to be nothing that could shake Jake's grin, not even the flashing of the camera's as he got out of the swanky limo Jane had arranged to pick us up.
His hand stretched out towards me as I scooted across the seat, mindful of everything Alice had taught me about keeping my legs together (even though I was wearing a full length skirt) as I scrambled out of the car.
Step one: complete.
Blinking against the sudden light I felt like a deer caught in headlights, the slight pull on my arm as Jacob steered us in the right direction being the only remembrance to keep moving, even though my blinded eyes couldn't even make out where we were going. How the hell did all those Hollywood stars manage to do this shit all the time and not walk into lampposts or other obstacles in their way?
"What are you wearing?" One of the paparazzi shouted, my brain only kicking in a moment later when I realize the was asking me.
Again, Alice's careful 'media training' saved the day and prevented me from saying something lame like 'clothes' or 'a dress' , my mouth instead mechanically uttering the name of the designers who'd crafted my dress and shoes as the people around us kept shouting directions and yelling questions like a fashion-minded firing squad.
It felt odd; their questions so demanding and compelling…almost like a violation.
"Just smile and wave," Jake whispered, tightening his arm around me as he kept on slowly pushing me in the direction of the remarkably small entryway for a building as grand and overwhelmingly imposing as Gotham Hall.
Okay. Smile and wave. I could do that, right? My hands were grabbing the back of Jake's smoking jacket so tight I could feel the fabric spanning around his broad shoulders as I did what he told me, all the while trying to think as little as possible and smile and answer questions as best as I could.
"Okay, so we've got that out of the way." Jacob sounded as relieved as I was as we finally made it past the front doors and into the lobby. "Now what do we do? Get hammered or dance?"
"No dancing!" I squeaked, the thought of getting out there in the middle of all those people making me want to crawl into a bathroom cubicle and spend the rest of the night in there, listening to people I didn't know gossiping about other people I didn't know. "Shouldn't we find Jane?"
Jake smirked. "Eventually, I guess."
"What? Not a big fan of my boss?" I snickered.
"I think it's more the other way around at the moment," Jacob shrugged. "Jane wasn't exactly taken with my latest work and….oh fuck!"
"What?" I frowned, following Jake's gaze as a man who'd probably be called dashing in the gossip columns strode in with a leggy blonde model type in a dress that seemed to be made with about half the fabric that should usually go into a dress. Dear God she must have frozen to death on that red carpet!
Wait a minute….I remembered that face. "Isn't that Alec Volturi?"
Jacob nodded, his face as pale and his eyes narrowed as he looked at Alec and his date. "He said he'd be in Aspen….."
"Hey." I pulled on his arm, forcing him to take a couple of steps backwards, into a quiet, under lit corner as in front of us Alec and the leggy blonde marched into the main room as if they owned the place (which he kinda did for the night) surrounded by a throng of people who, by the looks of it, were trying to brownnose their way into his good books. "What's going on, Jake?"
Now that Alec was out of view, I could see Jacob slowly starting to come round again. "We erm….." he fumbled, his eyes fixed to the plush carpet underneath our feet. "We used to have this thing….In fact,I guess we still do."
"You mean….you and Alec?" I gasped, my eyes shooting back to the empty doorway Alec had just disappeared into.
Jake nodded. "It's all very cloak-and-dagger since…." He laughed bitterly, his eyes briefly catching mine before they went down again. "Well, Alec doesn't want his daddy to know that his perfect, all-American boy wonder is as queer as a three dollar bill!"
"He….what?" I breathed, my mouth falling opening wonder. "But-"
"Oh, sure," Jake snorted. "Al's got the most extensive collection of fag hag's known to man but that doesn't mean he's actually closing the deal with any of them. Nope, no matter what the tabloids may say, Alec Volturi is one hundred percent into men."
I still had a hard time processing it. "Does Jane know?"
"No, and I don't have to say that everything I just said will remain between the two of us, right?" Jake hastened to reply. "If Jane would find out….."
"So the two of you are together?" I started, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Alec Volturi, notorious bachelor and ladies man was very much in to men.
"I wish," Jake huffed.
"So….no?"
He shrugged. "It's kinda complicated."
I snorted bitterly. "Don't I know it." If there was anything I'd learned from my horrible experience in Berlin, it was that I was now the reigning queen of complicated relationships. Or failed ones, come to think of it.
He sighed, his huge hand on my shoulder calling me back towards the present before my mind could go off on another masochistic trip down memory lane. "It's just the same old thing I guess," he finally spoke. "We met at the gallery opening of my previous show and it was just…..great. We clicked together like nobody's business and even though it hurt like a bitch when he had to go off and play the straight guy, I just couldn't see myself walking away from him."
Another shrug as he looked at his feet. "But since his folks have started to push for him to get married, things have gotten more and more tense. I wanted more – hell, I'd marry the guy in a heartbeat, even now – but he isn't ready to come out or even acknowledge the fact that he is gay and so we're just….in limbo, I guess. "
I sighed sadly, my heart breaking of the sight of my new friend looking so hurt, my hand rubbing circles over his back in the hope of giving him some comfort. Like Alice had done to me.
"God!" he groaned, rubbing his eyes as he shook his head. "I'm such a fucking loser! Why do I let the asshole do this to me?"
"You're not a loser, Jake," I muttered. It was just love or cupid or whatever human shape you wanted to give the emotion, that was completely and utterly unfair. "You're just….optimistic. Like we all are."
"I'm sorry, Bells," he spoke, his hand back on my shoulder as he looked at me, sadly and with a smile wholly unconvincing. "Here I am, pouring my fucking miserable heart out when you-"
"Stop it." I commanded, hoping my smile was more convincing than his. I couldn't bear to hear him finishing that sentence, knowing what it was that he was going to say. Every reminder of him and what he'd done to me felt like another slap in the face, which was just about the last thing I needed when I was about to walk into a fucking ballroom. "If anything you've given me a nice distraction from my own personal clusterfuck of a love life. Now, how about we find Jane, do our mandatory schmoozing and then get drunk and forget all about the evil boys who broke or hearts?"
This time his smile was genuine, a little of the exuberant, rakish man who'd picked up earlier that night breaking through again as he leaned into me. "I like the way you think, Swan."
I grinned back, trying to embrace the lightheartedness for all it was worth and for as long as I could even though I knew I'd have to pay for it later. "Well, ya ain't seen nothing yet, Jakey boy!"
He looked baffled for one sweet moment until his grin widened, his deep belly laughter crashing through the stuffy room, much to the shock of the stuffy people filling it.
I smiled because it was impossible not to and because….because I wanted it, my arm laced through his as we finally stepped into the huge, domed ballroom.
Perhaps this night wouldn't be as bad as I thought.
oOo
Saturday 10.45 PM
"Bella!"
I braced for impact just before Alice-the-tiny-cannonball collided with me, a loud 'oomph' leaving my chest as I tried to balance my weight over the ridiculously high heels she'd out me in. "Hey, Alice. I take it dinner was good?"
"It was amazing!" Alice squealed, squeezing me tighter than she should. "And Jasper he-"
"He what?" I asked, stepping back to find out why Alice had just suddenly stopped talking which was something that just didn't happen. Period.
She blushed, trying to shrug it all off. "He's just…so…amazing?"
I rolled my eyes, knowing full well she was withholding something. It would have hurt if the sight of Alice looking so radiant didn't distract me from even thinking about how I felt about it. "I could have told you that even before he spent more money than he should on a plate of food."
"Believe me." And there was that dreamy look again. "It was well worth it."
"Fucking A, Swan!" Jake gasped, his nudged almost making me lose my balance again. "Who's that hot guy over there and please tell me he's still single."
I snorted, arching my brow. "I thought you suffered from a broken heart?"
He shrugged, his grin firmly in place. "My heart may be broken but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with my eyes, is there?"
I chuckled, shaking my head. "I guess not."
"So who is he?" Jake insisted. "Do you know him?"
I looked over at Alice as the hot guy in question slowly crept his way towards us across the dance floor. "Do you want to do the honors?"
"That man….." She grinned smugly letting her voice trail off for dramatic effect as Jake's eyes flashed to her. "Is my incredibly talented, hot, sexy boyfriend."
"Way to go short stuff!" Jake praised, slapping her hand in a high five. "You really landed yourself something pretty, even though I must admit it's a crying shame the boy is straight. Now, does he taste as good as he looks?"
Alice grinned while I silently threw up in my mouth a little. I really, really, really did not want to know what Jasper tasted like. "Even better!"
Mercifully, Jasper arrived at just that moment before even more details of my cousin's sex life could sneak their way out into the open. "Thank God!" I mumbled, feeling an almost desperate need to hug the guy and so I did, much to his confusion.
"I'm taken, you know that right?" Jasper, who – I had to admit – did look rather nice in his tux chuckled.
"They were over sharing," I explained, nudging my head in Alice and Jake's direction, "and it wasn't on make-up tips."
"Ah," Jasper nodded. "Now I get it."
"So…."Jacob dawdled, "does anyone know of any hot single gay guys out here tonight? I mean, if I want to make a certain someone see green with envy, I'd better start sooner rather than later."
"Well actually," Alice hedged, looking pointedly in my direction for confirmation. "I might know just the guy….."
I frowned, making a mental list of every single gay guys I knew since Alice's look kinda insinuated that I knew the guy in question. Ah! Why didn't I think of that? "Riley? He's here?"
Alice shrugged. "Last minute cancellation. "Jane had an empty seat to fill and what can I say? Riley's always good for interesting conversation around the dinner table."
"I think I'm already liking him more and more," Jacob snickered. "Pray tell me, where can I find this guy?"
I smiled. At least this was one thing I could help him with. "You two: dance and be happy," I ordered Alice and Jasper before turning back to Jake. "You: follow me."
Riley was easy enough to spot at the bar, his outlandish blue velvet tuxedo standing out against the boring men all clad in black as he lounged against the bar, trying to look all cool and collected when even I could see he wasn't.
"Hello there, handsome," Jake crooned, draping his body next to Riley's against the bar."Nice suit. I think it would look mighty fine on my bedroom floor." Boy he was really laying it on think.
For a moment Riley just stared at him with open mouth before the corner of his lips pulled up into a coy smirk. "Well, gorgeous," he flirted back, "if you play your cards right, it just might."
They hit I off immediately, just like Alice knew they would. She had an eye for that sort of stuff, which is why I should have trusted her visions and never have given my heart to guys she'd never seen before. Twice.
Well, at least Alec would find out the hard way that no relationship could survive the fact that one of the partners didn't make himself completely available to the other. Just like I had.
"I'm just-" I stammered, knowing I couldn't stay here, surrounded by so much hope and awakening love. "I'm going to take a look upstairs…at the art."
I'd be amazed if Jake and Riley even heard me, their heads nodding in acknowledgement as they continued whatever form of foreplay they'd been engaged in the moment they set eyes on each other. Which only served my point.
I smiled, trying to deny the sharp sting of jealousy as I walked away, awkwardly pushing my way through the maze of people dancing or mingling in the cramped space between the tables and the dance floor.
The entrance hall was almost empty now, all the people inside drawn to one of the major rooms for entertainment, food, drink or just the company of others. Only a few smokers, people coming back from a recent trip to the bathroom and a couple of passers through were milling around, casting sideways glances at others as they acted all high and mighty while laughing as if they'd never had as much fun in their lives as they were having right there and then. Yeah, right.
I sighed, schlepping my body up the stairs as I held the hem of my dress up to prevent a quick and painful trip back down. When had I become so bitter? Who knew? Maybe those people were having the time of their lives. Who was I to judge them?
The mezzanine was set up as a viewing room for the art that would be auctioned off later that night as the finale of the benefit, with most of the artists affiliated with Epicenter – including Jasper, Jacob and even Jarred – contributing one or more examples of their work, ranging from pictures and paintings to signed manuscripts and autographed pictures from some of the big name authors and models that had worked for Epicenter in the past.
I smiled as Jacob's contribution immediately caught my eye; a large rectangular canvas almost jumping from the wall in all its loudness and boisterousness of color. Not unlike its creator.
Jasper's offering was more subdued; an elegant sepia fashion picture I ran away from the moment I recognized the model. Victoria Kingston.
I huffed, staring at the perfect, doll-like face that hid such an ugly interior. How I hated her and everything she'd destroyed. Including my chance at finding love again.
My smile returned when I stumbled upon one of the smaller displays; a picture of a grinning Emmett, from the looks of it taken somewhere around the start of his career making it impossible not to smile with him as he stared out from the frame.
"Ah, Miss Swan!" Jane exclaimed her eyes shining with fakeness as she strode across the mezzanine with an older and, front the looks of it, extremely well-to-do couple in tow. "Just the person I need!"
I licked my lips, feeling suddenly very ill at ease. What the hell did she want from me? "How….fortunate."
"You see," Jane went on, "Mr. and Mrs. Haper-Treacy are looking for an original birthday present for their daughter and after they told me about her recent honeymoon to Italy I immediately thought about Edward."
"E-Edward?" It was with difficulty that I spoke his name, my eyes shifting from Jane to Rose who was shadowing her boss like she'd been doing all night, her eyes apologetic as she looked back at me.
"Yes!" Jane nodded, something dangerous flashing through her eyes as she continued to speak. "His beautiful picture of 'Rome by night' would be the perfect birthday present for their precious Pippa but because Edward pulled out at the last moment, he's not here to illustrate his work and I thought that since you were there recently…"
Her words felt like hammer blows, each and every one of them hitting home as I scrambled keep my composure. She knew. That was what that look was about. She knew…which meant she also knew about our breakup. "Ah….oh…of course," I managed to pant, trying to catch up with the conversation again. "What do they want to know?" I decided there and then that I wouldn't give Jane the satisfaction of seeing her blows hit home.
Jane linked her arm through mine in an artificial gesture of friendliness as she tugged me towards the Harper-Treacy's and did her introductions before leading us over to one of the divider screens set up to display the art on sale for the night.
Seeing Edward work; a beautiful black and white frame of a marble statue, probably some Roman goddess,– looking out over the nocturnal panorama of Rome's historic center broke my heart all over again. It was beautiful in an almost unworldly way; the tangled web of light and darkness, perfection and imperfection, age and modernity captured in one perfect picture that screamed of the magnificence of the eternal city.
He'd done it. He'd captured Rome in a photograph.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Mrs. Harper-Treacy gushed, following my gaze as I nodded dumbly, my heart bleeding.
"Why don't you tell us a little bit more about it?" Jane's sharp voice spoke.
"Jane, I don't think-" Rose tried to come to my rescue, only to be stopped almost immediately by a hand, shooting up into the air.
"Miss Hale," she commanded, "I want you to go downstairs and make sure my brother has everything in order for the auction. Tell him we're ready to start moving the auction pieces to the main hall."
Rose shot me another apologetic look before leaving. She'd tried, even though she knew this would be the outcome. What more could she have done?
I could feel Jane's eyes on me, quietly challenging me to break, so I did what any self-respecting woman in my position would have done – what Alice, Rose and Tanya would have done in my position: I decided to meet the challenge head on.
"What do you want to know?" I asked, making sure to keep my voice animated and respectful as I turned toward the prospective buyers. I would simply rise above….even if it killed me.
It turned out the Harper-Treacy's were actually very nice people and genuinely interested in art and the people who created it. Though it pained me every step of the way to talk about Edward and his vision of Rome and of life, it felt good to talk about my experience with the Eternal City to people who'd been there as well, be it thirty years ago.
In the end, when they walked away, I knew Edward's picture would make a very good price towards the cause and, from the way her parents were talking about their daughter, hang on the wall of someone would appreciate it for both its artistic values and the scene it portrayed.
Which left me with Jane.
"You….you know, don't you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. Showing weakness at a moment like this would be deadly, that much I knew.
"Of course I know," Jane sneered, taking care to keep her voice low and her fake smile in place so as not to let others know what was going on. "I run a magazine with a circulation figure of over a million copies every two weeks. I make it my business to know what my staff in doing when they should be working for me and in your case…."
She snorted smuggly. "You didn't exactly make it hard for me to figure out what was going on. Between the shared hotel rooms and the lovey dovey e-mails, I'm surprised you didn't advertise your silly little romance on page eleven!"
"But you…you never…"
"As long as it made your writing better, who was I to complain?" Jane spat. "But now….Now Edward is suddenly backing out of his assignments due to family emergencies and scheduling conflicts and you're walking around this place like someone has just handed you you're dead sentence."
She took a few steps closer, her voice filled with violent disdain. "Now, the magazine will suffer the consequences of your ill-advised fling."
"But we were always very careful to keep our work separate from our private lives," I lied, even though I knew it wouldn't change anything but make me a complete hypocrite, "and my personal life….it's personal…it's none of your-"
"Oh, you're mistaken, Miss Swan," she hissed, her hand gripping mine to prevent me from running. "Your personal life became my business when you started to mix it with your professional life, which so happens to center around my business, my magazine."
"You will fix this." It wasn't a request, I could tell that much even without looking at her. "I don't care how and I really don't care who's pride and dignity with have to be trampled upon but you will fix this."
She didn't pause to give me an ultimatum or tell me she was going to fire me if I didn't, which I was sure she would. She merely glared at me one last time before going off in search of someone more worthy of her attention, leaving me behind in front of Edward's art with my shattered heart and a head that was spinning faster than the wheels on an express train.
I swallowed, trying to keep myself from hyperventilating by taking deep breaths in and deep breaths out, the sounds of other people laughing and having fun almost drowned out to a distant buzz as I slowly calmed myself down again, my eyes fixed on the ethereal marble figure in the center of Edward's frame.
How I wished I could be like her; unchangeable no matter what the world threw at her.
But I wasn't. In fact, I was about as far away from stoic and unchangeable as a person could get. I was a wreck.
"You are too talented to allow my daughter to boss you around." I jumped, barely suppressing a yelp as suddenly Aro's voice spoke from behind me, the hairs at the back of my neck standing on end as he slithered closer.
"I-I don't-" I stammered, hastily trying to put on some semblance of self-control again.
"Jane often presumes that when she pays someone, she gets to dictate the entire course of their lives to suit herself and the magazine," Aro went on, his eyes gliding over Edward's art in a way that made me want to block his view. "It often surprises me how anyone can work in such a stifling environment."
I swallowed, my throat so dry it was an almost painful undertaking. "She's….she's not…"
His body shifted, his eyes now pouring over me with a greediness that made me take a few steps back. "I can imagine it must be very hard for a girl like you to work for a woman like that…." He mused, his eyes shining with amusement as I continued to nervously shift around, my eyes looking for a safe escape way as my mind tried to some up with an appropriate answer.
"It's okay…..it's not…." I started, "She's not that bad. She's-"
"I know my daughter, Miss Swan," he persisted, leaning in conspiratorially. "You know, it doesn't have to be this way. If you accepted the offer I've made you last week, if you were to work for me….." He let his voice trail off suggestively as he gauged my response. "I know Jane intends to keep her hold on you even if you do sign with Volturi Publishing but if you'd asked me I'd say it would be better for you to focus on just one thing."
"But," I fumbled. "My column-"
"All I need is for you to say the words and I will take care of the rest – including my step-daughter," he smiled in a way so saccharine that, had anything been in my stomach at that moment, it would have come out. "You could still write your column, if you really wanted to, but more as a side-project while you focus on your own series of travel guides. I think a talented woman such a you deserves much more than just a compilation of work that had already been published."
He moved his arm like a master magician doing his great reveal. "It would be like the Lonely Planet, only far more accessible and, of course, baring your own unique look at the world."
I wet my lips as he looked at me expectantly. "O-of course." What the fuck was going on here? My brain was spinning like a vortex, trying to play catch up as Aro kept on talking about his grand plans for me.
"Think about it," he chuckled, my shoulders sagging in relief as he took a step away from me. "You know where to find me."
And with that, he was gone, leaving me completely overwhelmed and gasping for breath as if I'd just run the New York Marathon.
Breathe, Bella. I told myself, sucking in deep, cleansing breaths of air to keep myself from keeping over as I slowly made my way to the side of the mezzanine where I'd spotted a bathroom earlier that night.
Seclusion. I needed seclusion. And air. Oh, and time. Why had I ever thought that going to this function would be a good thing to get my mind of him? I must have been mad.
Mercifully the bathroom was nearly empty, the impending finale of the silent auction in the main hall drawing everyone out of the other rooms and towards the spectacle. Not me.
I sighed, leaning my head against the door as it closed behind me, my head still spinning with everything I'd just found out.
Edward was supposed to be here.
He was going to surprise me here because he knew how I was dreading this night.
He'd wanted to be there for me, to make things easier. Because he loved me.
It took me a few moments to realize that the loud sound reflecting against the tiled walls came from my throat, my tears streaking my make-up down my face as I balled my hands by the sides of my body, desperate to keep the floodgates shut before I fell completely apart and cause Jane to be even more pissed off at me.
Why did this have to be so hard?
oOo
Saturday 11:15 PM
The auction was already in full swing by the time I made my way out of the bathroom again, a cold towel fixing most of the red splotches in my face though really, there was no fooling anyone. As I cautiously stepped back into the empty mezzanine, I noticed that most of the artwork that had been on display there now moved to the main hall to be presented to its new owner, the sounds of some celebrity belting off numbers as the general population scrambled to spend some of their hard earned cash on a good cause drifting up from the floor below.
I walked up to the railing, peeking out from between the huge columns just in time to see a beaming Jasper hand over one of his pictures to the winning bidder, Alice standing off to the side glowing with pride as she looked at her man. I could have been there too…That could have been Edward and me, standing there, sharing his accomplishments.
I sighed deeply, my heart throbbing painfully in my chest as I fought back the tears, my eyes wandering to the empty spot that had held Edward's work. We could have been together…
Before I could go off on another wallowing mission, a small crash and the sound of a high pitched giggle – a very familiar high pitched giggle – pulled my attention back towards the mezzanine, just in time to see a couple stumbling into the room.
"Come on!" Rose whispered, her voice reflecting against the stone colonnade as she dragged a man behind her. "We don't have much time."
"I thought I'd never get you to myself," the man groaned, pushing his body against hers. I knew that voice….
Leaning slightly around the column that obstructed me from view I was finally able to catch a short glimpse of his face until Rose pulled it against hers, moaning deeply as she kissed him fiercely. Holy Crap! That was-
"Emmett," his name left her lips in a happy moan, their bodies gyrating against each other as he pushed her up against the far wall. "Oh, fuck yes!"
"Are you sure about this?" Emmett's voice panted, a deep moan rumbling from his chest as Rose's hands disappeared out of sight, the sound of a zipper being pulled cuing me in on just what was going on. Awww. Yuck!
"I need you now, Emmett," Rose growled, her dress bunching up around her waist as she wrapped one leg around his waist. "I don't fucking care if the old harpy catches us. Fuck! I can't wait to feel your cock inside me."
No! No! No! No! No! Please God, tell me this isn't happening? I swallowed, knowing that if I didn't do something now, I'd have to stand there and watch my best friend get it on with the model she'd sworn she'd never look at twice even if his ass was on fire.
The thought of that outweighed the mortification of stepping out there and so, with another deep breath, I took a first hesitant step out from behind my column, just in time to see Emmett's pants fall to the floor. Holy hell! I was looking at Emmett's but cheeks!
"Uh…hey guys?" I squeaked, slowly sliding into view as I covered my eyes with one hand. "You might want to save that for when you get home."
"Oh, fuck!" Rose shrieked, hopping back down immediately as Emmett hastily pulled his pants back up. "You were here all along?"
"Yeah," I smirked. If I hadn't been so embarrassed I would have probably laughed my ass off at the two of them, scrambling to cover up their bits and look around them to see if their audience extended beyond me.
"Alone?" A flash of panic shot across Rose's face as she looked around her.
"As far as I know," I nodded, slowly dropping my hand to my side again now that everyone appeared to be looking decent once more. "I didn't meant to….it's just…after Jane and Aro-"
"Shit! Jane! I completely forgot about how that bitch treated you," Rose groaned, immediately crossing the distance between us, her mouth pursing when she took in my sorry state. "I wanted to come back to see how you were doing as soon as Jane cleared the room but I guess I got a little sidetracked when I ran into Emmett…."
She blushed, Rosalie Hale actually blushed, her big, blue worried eyes scanning my face. "Are you okay, babe?"
I shrugged, looking back out over the main room where on the stage Jake was grinning from ear to ear as the auctioneer sold his painting for a staggering six thousand dollars. Was I okay? Now that was the million dollar question. "I'm fine," I finally spoke, only slightly bending the truth.
"Hi, Bella!" Emmett snickered, approaching us now that he was decent again. "How's it going?"
"I dunno," I shrugged, still feeling rather awkward. "I've been better, I guess."
"Yeah, Rosie told me about your recent…err….streak of bad luck," Emmett nodded, smiling consolingly as he wrapped one of his huge arms around me, forming a sort of one-man tent for me to hide in. I had to admit, it did feel rather nice.
Rosie? Looking at Rose I knew this had to be one special guy since she not only broke her resolve to never fuck a model, she also allowed the guy to call her Rosie. I think the last guy who'd dared to do that had woken up in hospital the next day, breathing through a ventilator.
"So…you and Rose, huh?" I smiled, quickly changing the subject.
"Yeah." Emmett grinned, looking at Rose like a man who'd just found a huge diamond. "Me and Rosie."
I snorted as Rose tried to roll her and act like she'd usually do when a guy got too close for comfort, where it not for the huge, radiant smile on her lips. "How long has this been going on?"
"A while," she shrugged, pecking at non-existent specs of dust on her dress.
I arched my brow. "A while?"
"Okay, okay!" she huffed. "We've been seeing each other since that night at Prohibition…you know? The one where Jasper first grew a pair and asked Alice out?"
I gasped. "That long?"
She shrugged. "Emmett told me that the only way to get rid of him was to either kill him or go out on a date with him and since getting rid of a corpse is such a hassle these days, I decided to give in to him as long as he promised to keep his hands where I could see them throughout the date and keep to his end of the bargain and stay the hell away from me afterwards."
"Of course she hadn't counted on falling for my killer charm somewhere halfway between appetizers and main," Emmett grinned proudly, wrapping his arm around his girl.
"Killer charm, my ass!" Rose huffed.
"Whatever it was," Emmett chuckled, obviously not swayed by Rose's remark, "at the end of the night she kissed me and, as they say, the rest is history."
"Wow!" I breathed, smiling as I looked at the pair of them. I never thought Rosa and romance would go together but this? Yeah, it was romance all right. "So why didn't you tell us?"
Rose snorted sarcastically. "Because I knew what everyone would say and…." She shrugged. "I guess I wanted to be really sure before stepping out with my new man."
"And you are?" As I spoke, it didn't escape my notice that Emmett was anticipating Rosalie's reply even more eagerly than I was.
Rose's grin was beautiful, her eyes on Emmett as she answered my question. "Absolutely."
The look they shared tore all the stitches on my heart wide open as I remembered what it had felt like to be looked at like that, with so much love and longing and lust – or to look at a person like that and know you want to spend the rest of your life with him.
"So erm….." Rose fumbled, looking between Emmett and me, "I guess we'd better get back to the auction before we're missed. Are you coming, Bella?"
I shook my head. "I think I'd better head on home."
She smiled, her hand on my shoulder as she studied me for a couple of moments. "Do you want me and Em to come with you."
"No," I answered. "I'd rather be on my own, if you guys don't mind."
"Of course we don't! But can you send me a message when you're home?" Emmett nodded wholeheartedly as Rose voiced her request.
"Okay," I nodded, "as long as you'll let Alice know I'm safe and not dying in a ditch somewhere."
They walked me back to the door, seeing me safely into a cab before going back in. I smiled, watching them disappear inside the building again, his arm wrapped around her waist and her head leaning on his shoulders. Rose needed this. And I, I needed this too.
As painful as it had been to wander amongst happy couples all night and even watch a new one spring to life, it had been just the thing I needed to restore my faith in love. I might not have found it yet but, looking at Alice, Jake and Rose, I knew it was out there and I knew that in the end it would be worth the pain.
"Whereto, Miss?" the driver called over his shoulder as he pulled into the still busy road.
"Brooklyn. Montague Street," I called, leaning back only when the driver seemed to have no issues with crossing the bridge, my eyes closing as the hum of the cab's engine brought me to the brink of sleep.
It had been quite a night.
Thanks so much for reading. As always, reviewers will get teased.
