Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution. There is no sheep.
Have you ever looked at your hand? I mean, really looked at your hand?
X23 looked in the mirror, disgusted at her Ashlee Simpson costume. "I admit I actually look like her…" X23 leaned forward slightly for a moment to see the makeup closer, identical to what the real version was pictured wearing in a star magazine, and her hair cut and dyed identically as well. "Adding the short black dress and falsies, I could pass off as her look-a-like… but were the inflatable guys really necessary?" X23 asked, exasperated.
"You have no idea!" Magma turned off her blowtorch finger (which was never actually used) and adjusted the inflatable men they had glued on to the disguised X23. "I think we did a good job with the Ryan Cabrera, Wilmer Valderrama, Braxton Olita, and Pete Wentz inflatables. Now go get our sugar!"
X23 stumbled on her high heels out the door and almost got the Ryan Cabrera inflatable's head ripped off in the hinges. She walked into the den, where Wolverine was sitting reading Tough Dudes Weekly. He looked up at the Simpson-ed X23 and did a double take. He jumped and unsheathed his claws. "Look, just go back to where you came from! I don't want any trouble now!"
"NO! No! Wolverine, it's me!" X23 showed him her own claws for proof. "I need you to drive me over to the Acolytes' place. You look like a bodyguard for a pop star or something."
"May I ask what the hell this is FOR?"
"No,"
"Fine! Be that way!" Wolverine led the way out the door and grabbed the car keys on the way out.
Gambit strolled nonchalantly over to the door, hoping with all his heart it was Rogue (or at least Mystique disguised as Rogue). He ignored Pyro, who was balancing a lit candle on his nose. Gambit saw X23 on the other side. "HOLY ROYAL FLUSH! It's that annoying plastic surgery girl from the magazines!" He was so shocked his accent transplant failed in a second.
"Huh?!" Pyro dropped the candle, spilling hot wax all over his face (he didn't care). He and Sabretooth stepped over to the door.
Magneto came in as well. "Well then Gambit, tell her to leave! We're not interested in buying any slut cookies!"
"OH YES WE ARE!" Sabretooth argued.
"Uh…" X23 adjusted her Wilmer inflatable. "I need to borrow some sugar. Preferably white…"
Sabretooth pointed to Wilmer The Inflatable. "He's not white, is he?"
"Um…yes he is?"
"Alrighty then. I'll have chocolate slut cookies, please."
"WHAT?! I said I need sugar! I'm not selling-"
Pyro interrupted by yanking Pete Wentz The Inflatable off of X23, the glue ripping her skin a bit. "YOU! I want to light your hair on fire and see what color it makes!"
"HEY! Give that back! It's mine!" X23 stepped inside and grabbed for the inflatable.
"No! You can have the others! You have a bunch!"
"But I like that one best! Its four feet tall and smells like cheap hair gel!" The two were playing tug-of-war, X23 yelling swears at Pyro.
"If he gets an inflatable, I want your panties!" Sabretooth was leering at her a little.
"EW!" X23, still tugging, kicked Sabretooth in the groin.
"I'll settle the inflatable battle!" Gambit stepped over the stretched out inflatable rocker. "His hair is better than mine!" Gambit touched the inflatable head, and it exploded within seconds.
"Pete! Noooo!" X23 grabbed the limp inflatable doll, which was losing all its air.
Pyro just stared at it. "Now I'll never know. I bet the fire would be purple, too…"
"SCREW THE SUGAR! SCREW THE PHASES!" X23 ripped off the wig, high heels, and falsies, popping the other inflatable men with her claws and taking them off. "You're all going down!"
Magneto was watching the entire scene with popcorn. "This will be fun!"
A half hour later, Colossus walked in. "I brought Villain Milk! It expires today, so drink up fast! There was a good deal on…" He paused and looked around at the completely trashed Acolyte base. "Whoa…uh…huh?"
X23 was walking past Colossus and out of the house, carrying an ash-covered bag of sugar. Colossus ignored this and surveyed the scene. Pyro was hanging from the ceiling upside down, his legs in the ceiling and he was giggling weakly. Sabretooth had a tightly wrapped popped Braxton Olita figure around his neck. Gambit had sunken into the floor, which had solidified around him. There were popped Ryan Cabrera and Wilmer Valderrama inflatables were crushed into the wall in a circle around where Magneto was standing.
Magneto finished off the rest of his popcorn. "Hey Colossus, we're out of sugar."
By the way, in case you didn't know, all the inflatable guys were supposedly guys Simpson dated.
'Kay bye.
