Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.
I Love To Hate You
Chapter Twenty Nine: Letter Nine: Absent
Bella's POV
Once my day was over I called Edward immediately so I could head over to his and have some fun. No one answered his house phone, which made me think he was out therefore probably busy. And that would ruin my plans for a distraction.
"Hey." Edward answered, after I called his cell phone.
"Hi, can I see you tonight?"
"Eh…wow, sure. I'd love to see you tonight. Do you want to come over now?"
"Yes, please." He chuckled and then told me to come over.
I jumped straight into my truck and drove off towards Edward's house. On arrival I saw him leaning against his Vanquish looking amazing as usual. He heard my truck approaching, how could he not, and watched me as I parked and got out. Then I was blessed with the famous Edward Cullen crooked grin that made my heart flutter.
"Hi, you want to come in?" He asked, grabbing my hand and pulling me forward for a hug.
"Yeah." With that he opened the door and led me inside.
"So is this going to be one of those times where I'm just to be quiet and let you do what you want?"
"That's exactly what I need you to do." Edward just nodded and led me into the living room.
He indicated for me to sit down but I couldn't, not until he had. I pushed him lightly so he was sitting back against the couch then straddled his lap, taking Edward by surprise. Before he had a chance to speak or question what I was doing I kissed him quickly and rather forcefully.
Edward moaned and placed his hands on my hips and pulled me forward, giving me a chance to feel how excited he was with the current situation. My hands were on his chest but I wanted to run them through his hair so I slid my hands up his shoulders and stopped once I felt the bronze locks on my finger tips.
He was groaning as my assault on him slowed so tried to increase the pace again by running his tongue against my lips, begging for entrance. I granted it and moaned along with him when our tongues met.
From then on it was exactly what I needed the ultimate distraction. His lips were perfect, kissing from my lips to my neck and back up again. It was like he knew exactly what I wanted and did it to perfection.
"Edward sweetie…oh my, I'm so sorry." Esme said, causing me to jump off Edward's lap and try to pat down my appearance so it didn't look like I was just straddling and practically humping her son.
"Hi Mrs Cullen." I said nervously.
"Hey Bella, call me Esme please. Edward…I…can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?"
"Of course. I'll be right back." Edward kissed my cheek and got up.
I was blushing bright red and so embarrassed by that. Just the fact that it was his mother that caught us like that. I'd never be able to look her in the eye again without recalling that incident now. She probably thinks I'm some harlot now after her son.
"Hey gorgeous, what are you doing here? Hopefully you came to see me." Masen said, dropping himself down onto the couch next to me and putting his arm round my shoulders.
"Hi Masen and yes that's exactly why I'm here." I rolled my eyes as he smiled at me before kissing my cheek.
"I knew it. You just can't get enough of me. But I hate to break your heart but my love belongs to another now. I waited on you for so long and you only looked at Edward. I've moved on and with that have had to find a new girl."
"Really?" Usually Masen makes his way from one girl to another, not just sticking with one.
"Yep. Only problem is, she doesn't like me. Well more to the point, she despises me." He said rather glumly.
"So what are you going to do?"
"I asked Edward, he gave me some tips and I'm working on them. Though she doesn't like my dramatics."
"So stop being dramatic. Just act like the good guy I know you are." I said.
"Yeah but you saw that before I became a sex god and my ego went up. It's these Cullen genes I tell you, we're irresistible. Except I'm not irresistible to her."
"So have you been trying your best to get her on your side?"
"Yeah I have but we're travelling at snail's pace."
"Well as long as you're getting somewhere, then it doesn't matter."
"Alright that's my love life, what about yours?"
"I don't have one." He chuckled, much like Edward's but not as good.
"Yeah you do, his name is Edward and he's my brother. Another irresistible Cullen man."
"Edward and I are just friends."
"Lies and slander, you are not. He is very much in love with you Bella just admit that you love him too." I blushed again but shook my head.
"No, not at all."
"Bella come on, you're breaking his heart with everyday you keep up this 'friends only' charade."
"We can't be any more than that Masen. Things are too complicated."
"Hey." Both of us turned to see Edward walk in and frown as he saw Masen's arm around me.
"Hi, did I get you in trouble?"
"Not at all. Come on." He held out his hand and I slipped away from Masen's arm.
"Think about what I said Bella!" He called as Edward and I went up the stairs.
"What was that all about?" He asked when he shut the door behind us.
"Nothing, he's just being silly." I shrugged and sat down on his bed.
Edward sat down next to me and turned slightly so he was facing my. Slowly he ran his hands through my hair, caressed my cheek and gently kissed my swollen lips from earlier.
"Can you just let me care for you how I want to for now?" He asked softly.
"What do you mean?" I was kinda confused with what he meant.
"I like you and if I had it my way we would be a couple, the perfect couple. I've been your distraction for so long that for once I want you to be mine. Can you let me do that?"
He looked sad and sorry as I looked into his eyes and so I decided just to nod and see what he needed me to do. Edward kissed me carefully, like I would break at any minute. Gently he moved me across the bed until I was propped up against the pillows. He lay down next to me and kissed the skin in the crook of my neck.
"Relax Bella, you're so tense. Seriously, nothing bad is going to happen. I just want to lay here with you."
I relaxed a bit but was still a little anxious. It felt like we were a couple, which I guess he was intending, and for some reason I couldn't handle that. It felt weird and I was very uneasy. Edward just lay next to me, completely unfazed by me and kissed my jaw a couple of times. We reshuffled a bit on the bed and I ended up with my head against his chest, listening to his heart beat.
The next thing I knew I woke up against Edward, smelling him, feeling him and listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing. He was asleep too, looking like an angel and so at peace with the world. It was hard to believe he was the same guy I wanted to ruin only weeks ago and would have done anything to succeed.
Now I couldn't even think of harming him, not when he was being such a gentleman and caring for me like no other had. Yet there was something stopping me and it wasn't just the guy sending me letters. If Edward and I didn't work out then things would be ruined and I couldn't have that.
Whether I liked it or not, I needed Edward in my life.
Softly and carefully I kissed him before easing myself out of his arms to get off the bed. He never woke up and allowed me my chance to get away. I wanted to get away before he realised as I didn't want to have to deal with the conversation that would surely ensue once he awoke.
Edward's POV
I woke up alone. Bella had left, which I should have expected but was still saddened that she had left. Slowly she was testing my patience. The more she pushed me away the more she frightened me into thinking that when she knows who wrote the letters to her I'll be a disappointment.
Basically I was just waiting for her to figure it out and run screaming in the other direction. I couldn't handle that. I needed her in my life, like I've previously stated, but knew my reaction to her rejection would be worse than I thought.
It would push me over the edge and into a state of depression. I wouldn't be able to handle it and my friends and family knew that. The only person who didn't was Bella and I was beginning to think she was as blind as a bat.
It was so obvious that I loved her, was writing her the letters and sending her flowers yet she didn't have a clue. Instead she played me hot and cold because I was a good kisser and a brilliant distraction. I was being used and although I knew it, I couldn't put a stop to it. Bella would take it as a sign of rejection and no doubt end up being pissed at me. I didn't need that, not when things were going well.
Today was not what I was expecting. When Bella called me I was on my way to the school for Mike but when I heard she wanted to come over I dropped everything. She was much more important than revenge to the dick that was out to get me.
Unfortunately she still didn't see how important she was to me. Bella liked to have her way with me but when I wanted anything with her she tensed and acted like it was something out of this world.
I want us to be a couple and if I say it more and more she might get the picture but obviously that didn't happen. So I had to try just acting like we were a couple. It was the best distraction I could have had, just laying there imagining that this was real. That we were officially together.
God I needed to get a life.
The following day I worked my ass off on the work I was missing so I could be roughly at the same level when I returned to school. It was rather annoying though, I'd be returning and then three days later we'd be out for winter holidays.
Most won't see this as annoying but I have to get all the extra work and essays assignments in the two weeks of my suspension in those three days and spend my holidays doing it for when we return.
Even though I was working hard there was really only one thought on my mind, Bella. What else would it be?
My mind was also thinking about the response Bella had written to my letter. Emmett didn't have any free periods today so I couldn't rely on him to bring me it. So just after lunch, when classes had begun, I drove to the school and immediately headed for the crush hall.
The thesaurus was in the usual place and with no one around I took it off the shelf and had a hunt for what I was looking for. Once I found it I went back to my car so I wouldn't get caught in school. There I opened it quickly and read it as fast as I was able.
Hey,
You wanted me to be fast at reply, which I was, so I figured I would babble on here and just let you read my answers.
Are you going away for Christmas?
No, I'm here.
Where can I put your Christmas present for you?
Don't even think of buying me one.
Please tell me you are going to Alice's Masqueraded Ball?
Yes I am.
Will I get to kiss you at midnight?
Possibly, we'll just have to see if I feel like kissing anyone then.
Will you be going with a date?
No I don't think so.
There you go. Hope you're satisfied. Now my questions:
What would you like for Christmas, from anyone?
Is Christmas a big deal in your family?
Do you want a white Christmas?
From
Bella
XxX
I was so elated by the three X's at the end of the letter and the fact that I might get a kiss! Granted we had kissed before but this would be the first kiss for Bella and her secret admirer, not Edward and Bella who were lustful teenagers using each other for their hormonal needs.
There seemed no better time than the present so I grabbed a pen and piece of paper from my glove box and got writing. I remembered that the next word I had to highlight in the dictionary was 'Absent'.
Dear Bella,
Thank you for the quick response and for your good answers. I am very pleased that you might be willing to give me a kiss at midnight. I certainly will be looking forward to that evening, whether or not I get a kiss. Here are my answers:
What would you like for Christmas, from anyone?
You…haha was that too cheesy? Most likely. Em…I don't really know. I guess I would like a new piano; my one at home was recently violated by a friend. (I'd never forgive Emmett for his and Rose's sex games. They go at it like animals all the damn time.)
Is Christmas a big deal in your family?
Absolutely, my mother loves it.
Do you want a white Christmas?
Yes, I think it would be rather romantic. Plus I'd get to have a snowball fight.
My questions now:
Would you like snow?
Who's the festive one in your family?
What would you like for Christmas, from your family? (Also I already have you a gift and you will accept it whether you like it or not)
What colours would you like it gift wrapped in?
Will you be taking part in a Secret Santa this year?
That shall do. I want answers to these Bella. I know you don't like gifts but I've already bought it so let me just give it to you. It would be a waste of my money otherwise and I know you wouldn't like that. So please.
Sincerely
Your Secret Admirer.
I folded the letter up, got out of my car and placed it into the dictionary, highlighting the appropriate text and meaning.
Absent- Lacking; nonexistent: He is absent from her mind.
With that done I got the hell out of there and just had the task of waiting until tomorrow when she wrote back. It was one more letter down and one more clue given, yet she seemed no further along with working out who I was.
I know she has the ability to do it; I just don't have the patience to wait. But I'd have to try.
