I opened my eyes and saw Mikey standing in front of me.

"Huh what happened?" I knew it was too good to be true. Everything was a dream.

"You fell asleep out here and everyone has been looking for you all morning after Morgan wanted to talk to you" Morgan was looking for me shit.

"Ok what time is it?"

"Well it's 2 in the afternoon right now"

"damn I was tired"

"Yeah well I guess you are still mad at Frank" I sighed.

"Yeah see the thing is I'm not mad at him" Mikey sat down next to me.

"Well then you need to stop storming off before something bad happens"

"Well right now I am just asking for something bad to happen I mean you woke me up for a dream where Calvin came back to say goodbye" he looked at me.

"I'm sorry but you know there is no way he is coming back Helli" I nodded and started crying. He hugged me and I cried into his shoulder.

"I know that it just screws me up wondering what I did to make him leave or what he did to deserve that"

"He didn't do anything Helli it's just fate and in the end you can't do anything about it"

"I know but my life is full of fate that destroys everything and I don't know what to do anymore sometimes I wonder if I was dead would it all go away?" he looked at me.

"No those people that died would have died for nothing Helli. Calvin is gone for nothing then Helli"

"I know but still" He stood up.

"Look we have sound check how about you go screw around on the stage and maybe that will make you feel better that and you're supposed to be in a wheel chair right now Helli" He helped me up and we heard another sickening crunch.

"Do you want me to carry you?" He asked. I nodded not wanting to open my mouth just in case I decided to scream from the pain. He picked me up and carried me back to the bus. As soon as we got there he out me down on the couch. I grabbed a paper and pencil.

Where's Lyn-z? she has my pills

"She is at the stage with Bandit and Gerard"

Do you know where my pills are?"

"No I have no idea but I can call her and ask"

Yes please

"Ok hold on" he called her and walked into the bunk room. I turned the paper over and started drawing hoping it would take my mind off of the pain. He came back out as I finished my drawing. Realized I drew a family portrait of Lyn-z, Bandit, and Gee. I shrugged.

"Ok here you go let me go get you some water to take these with" I waved him off. I dry swallowed the pills and handed them back to him.

"OK or you can do that anyways you should go change remember you need to go to sound check too" I shrugged and changed into black skinny jeans, all black converse, and a fishnet top. I had the wrap on so it was just like I was wearing a spaghetti strap top under it. I brushed my hair and teeth before I walked back out.

"Ok no offense but please no fighting between you and Frank today so I suggest you go change your shirt" I was done.

"Mikey I don't give a fuck. He told me that I was a mistake I am done with his BS and you know what maybe him and Jamia can forget about me" I grabbed the drawing and tried to walk out the door.

"No wheel chair" Mikey grabbed my arm.

"Fine" he brought the wheel chair out and pushed me to the stage. I saw everyone there.

"Where were you?" Frank asked. I ignored him.

"Where were you?" Bob asked.

"Asleep by a building" I told him.

"So now you're ignoring me?" Frank said. I ignored him and wheeled myself over to Gee, Lyn-z, and Bandit. I picked up bandit and gave her the picture.

"That's for you" she smiled and showed Gee and Lyn-z. they smiled.

"Thanks it's beautiful" Gerard said. I handed him Bandit.

"Helli how are we going to play tonight?" Morgan asked.

"I have no idea" I told him.

"What are you guys missing drums?" Bob asked.

"No I am playing bass and Avenly is playing drums I just can't play Gerard or Mikey because I have to stand still or sit in the god damn chair" everyone laughed.

"Ok well still can you play sitting down?" Frank asked. I ignored him again. Gerard sighed.

"Can you play sitting down?"

"I have no idea I was going to ditch the wheel chair"

"No you aren't" Mikey said

"I don't give a shit Mikey honestly I didn't pay attention to what the doctor said so for all I know I am not supposed to perform"

"Who was in the room with you when she said what to do?" Jimmy asked.

"My father" I stood.

"How far down is the drop off the stage?" I asked.

"5 ft" Frank answered. I counted out how far I was going to need to go to off the stage after 2 flips.

"Great now here's how we test if I can perform tonight" I stood back so that I could get a running start.

"Obviously if I don't make this then well I can't perform if I do then hell yeah I am and no one can stop me" I took a few more steps back.

"What are you going to do?" Frank asked. I smilied and started running. I counted it off and started doing my flips. The second one ended at the very edge of the stage like I planed and I jumped off and landed just after the fence. I was standing I was in no pain and I was happy.

"Looks like I am playing tonight" I said to everyone that was standing at the edge of the stage.

"Don't ever do that again" Frank said.

"Why need your mistake for the media?" I stood on the fence and jumped to the stage.

"Helena that's just out for line" Avenly said.

"Avenly you know what I am done. My father has already called me a mistake, my boyfriend was just killed, and I have so many injuries in my body that no one knows about that I am completely numb right now. I'm not talking about the ribs either. I don't feel like living at this point and you know what it just keeps getting better doesn't it? What's next? You? The band? Everyone else?" I looked at her I knew she knew I was right. I turned and went back to the edge of the stage. We were in a coliseum of sorts it was a baseball field.

"You know what I am done with work too. Are we in a baseball stadium?" I turned.

"Yeah I think we are" Morgan smiled he knew what I was doing.

"Go get the stuff from the bus Morgan I'll go see what we can or can't do" I back flipped off the stage and hoped over the gate. I looked around and saw all of the seats. They had put us by home plate which meant that the field was behind the stage. I ran around and saw all of the open space they had. I ran back over to the stage.

"Is Morgan back yet?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm right here" He had 2 bats, 3 mitts, and 2 baseballs with him.

"Give me the bats and the baseballs" He threw them to me.

"Anyone else coming?" I asked as everyone came off the stage.

"Morgan I'm gonna pitch but can you be catcher?" he nodded and threw me a mitt.

"Ok everyone stand away from Morgan in case he doesn't catch the ball"

"How fast could you possibly throw it?" Bob asked. I looked at Morgan.

"Fast enough to hurt" We all walked just behind the stage and Morgan stood there and I stood by 2nd base.

"Ready?" I asked everyone and they all noded.

"Ok here it comes Morgan" I pitch just like the guys in the Majors because I throw really fast.I threw the first one and Morgan caught it but dropped it.

"Can we not throw fast balls!?" He yelled.

"What I'm not allowed to pitch?"

"No come bat your better at that anyways!"

"We want to keep these baseballs and not break any win-"

"There's no windows we aren't at school!" he yelled. I sighed.

"Fine" I turned.

"Who's pitching?" Frank grabbed a mitt.

"I will" I rolled my eyes and threw him the ball.

"Do you need slow pitch?"

"Haha very funny daddy but your mistake is probably fit to be an MVP in the majors" I swung the bat and took my stance.

"Really? Well let's see how well my Daughter can bat" He smiled while everyone kind of moved to where they could see but wouldn't get hit. He pitched the ball and it came fast but I hit it. It went into the bleachers on the top deck of the stadium.

"Morgan you idiot I told you that we would lose a ball" I yelled at him.

"We can get a new one!"

"Whatever or we can make him go get it" I pointed to Frank and dropped the bat.

"Give me the other Ball" Morgan threw the ball to me.

"Ok are we playing?" everyone kind of moved and got to positions but we didn't have 18 people so we didn't have DHs for either team. The teams were me, Gerard, Mikey, Morgan, Jo anne, Luke, Jimmy, and Kitty on one team. Steve, Avenly, Brandon, Amy, Renee, Ray, Bob, and Frank on the other team.

"Ready?" I asked and everyone nodded. Steve was batting first. I watched for Morgan's calls. The first time he asked for slow pitch and I said no, he finally showed fast pitch. I oked and got ready.

"Don't blink Steve!" I yelled and everyone laughed. I threw the ball and he didn't swing.

"I call that a strike" Morgan nodded.

"Holy shit she is gonna kick our asses single handedly!" Steve said.

"There's no I in team asshole!" I yelled back and got ready for another fast pitch. Once again after that.

"I think you're out Steve!" I yelled as Avenly took the bat.

"Just walk me and be done with it!" she yelled.

"Come on sis I'm just doing a fast pitch and besides I'm a cripple so it's not even that fast"

"Cripple my ass!" she yelled back. I stuck her and Brandon out.

"Ok screw DH I am batting!" I yelled running for the plate.

"Don't break the bat" Morgan said.

"We have 2" I pointed out.

"Don't be a wise ass" I sighed and saw that Frank was pitching.

"No someone can go before me" I handed the bat off to Morgan.

"Gonna be the hero?" He whispered in my ear.

"Better fucking believe it baby" I whispered back. He shook his head and went to the plate.

"Let's make this easy first to 8 runs wins?" he asked.

"no let's make it 4!" Steve yelled from the back.

"Ok your loss" Morgan took his stance. Frank threw the ball and Morgan hit it. He ran to first base and stopped as the ball was thrown to Bob at first. Mikey was next.

"Just load the bases" I told him. he nodded. He did the same thing as Morgan. Gerard did the same.

"I think I'll bat now" I said grabbing the bat.

"Nice going Helli" Jimmy said.

"No work for us" I shrugged. I watched as Frank just threw it. I missed the first pitch. The second one I sat there thinking before I said I was ready.

"Wait! The loser buys the beer!" I yelled.

"No more drinking for you" Frank said.

"Fuck off and throw the ball Iero"I yelled back. I watched as he got ready and so did I. he threw the ball and this time I made full contact with it, Smashing the bat in 2. I walked to first base watching to see where the ball went. It landed in the same spot the first one did and I jogged back to home plate.

"Helli look what you did!" Morgan said pointing to the splinter that used to be a bat.

"Frank made me mad" I said pointing to him.

"Any chance I can get that beer before the show?" I asked.

"NO!" the other team yelled.

"Fine then I think we should have a party tonight"I said knowing the answer.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea" Jimmy said.

"Have you seen her drink?" Gerard asked.

"No why?"

"Imagine me at rock bottom that would be how much she drinks but she isn't drunk because she's used to it" He looked at me.

"Ok I think you're exaggerating" I said. I was sugar high for no reason whats so ever.

"Hold on" I turned as I said that. I back up 3 feet and started running to do flips.

"Is she high?" Steve asked. I stopped where I was which happened to be a hand stand.

"NOPE!! I'M A TEENAGER!!!" I did a back bend and stood up.

"Wow great explanation" Morgan said.

"Shut up and stop being an asshole Morgan"

"What ever I remember that one night when you were drunk oh I don't know a year ago maybe?" I froze.

"I love you Morgan" I smiled.

"I KNEW IT!!" Jo anne said and pointed at me.

"I take it back Jo Anne is the asshole" I said running back to them.

"Hey no I am not!"

"Sure Morgan catch!" I jumped up and he caught me.

"You are a fricken cow!" everyone laughed at him.

"Really because Johnny said I am weightless you must be weak" I shrugged and jumped out of his arms.

"I am weak remember that" I shrugged.

"Maybe I will forget" I said.

"and maybe I will forget about that night maybe not" he shrugged.

"What are the 2 of you talking about?"Ray asked.

"That was the first night I got really drunk it was worse than the night Calvin had to bring me home"

"Wow that's pretty bad" Gerard said.

"Yeah I think I had more than a few 6 packs then. I think I had some tequila and I had some wine. Hmmm…. I think that's it"

"Nope" Morgan said smiling. I gasped.

"Shit I remember let's just forget about that though"

"How come only the 2 of you remember this?" Renee asked.

" That night I was on a date with him" they all gasped.

"Does that surprise you?"

"No not really" Mikey said.

"See the smart person! What is it about Bass players that makes them the smart ones? Seriously"

"you don't play bass" Gerard said.

"Actually I do and I am playing it on stage in like 3 hours"I said.

"What ever but I think we should go now" Frank said but I was already walking/running towards the tunnel to the buses. I don't feel good either. I stopped and waited for everyone. When we got back to the buses there was someone in a business suit waiting for us.

"I didn't do it!" I said before we got there.

"Helena Dragon?" the man asked.

"Yes?"

"We need to speak to you about some things left for you by your boyfriend"

"Ok?"

"Can we please speak in private?"

"We'll just go get ready" Gerard said and everyone went to their buses.

"Now were you expecting him to leave anything for you?"