The Bad and the Conceited
Chapter Twenty-nine: Noted
Written by: keaRy anCe
"You ready?" Tsubasa asked as he closed the car's trunk and made steps to get inside the car.
Mikan felt the cold breeze and shivered eventually, making a self note to wear a sweater or jacket later. The air smelled nice and it made Mikan feel composed for a short moment. She stared at the car for a few seconds, her thoughts clashing. If the surrounding was all calm, it was the opposite of Mikan's mind right now. She envied how peaceful other people could be despite of the trials that were coming into their lives and here she was, sulking, though her problem was only a micrometer compared to others.
"Yeah," she said shortly and also got inside the car.
Today was the day Mikan and Tsubasa planned to go to one of the Yukihara's beaches for Mikan's Random Collection that at first she just wanted to have but now she was planning to pass on their club just to have a little contribution. If her photos were really that good, it might end up in an exhibit. They had set this up a long time ago and this was supposed to be a short trip; meaning they'll go in the morning and will leave in the afternoon but that was not going to happen now. Well. . .things happened.
Hotaru called Mikan the other night and asked her if she could talk to her but Mikan told Hotaru that she couldn't since she was busy for the weekend and being the nosy lady Hotaru was, the ice queen asked where the brunette was going and when Mikan told her that they will have an out of town trip, Hotaru immediately said that she will come and Ruka will too. That meant Koko and Natsume were coming too. That also meant that everything Mikan had planned was sabotaged. She liked to take photos in peace.
Mikan could not do anything about it since Hotaru started lecturing her about running away and hiding too much when she tried to tell Hotaru that she would only be bored in the outing. It was supposed to be a trip to remember and not a trip of disaster. She just had her encounter with Natsume a few days ago and dealing with him again would be unhealthy for her. She was supposed to enjoy this and she was afraid that she couldn't because of stupid reasons.
"Anna and Nonoko said that you walked out from the shop yesterday with a raven-haired guy following you whom you called Natsume." Mikan heard Tsubasa said. She grunted because as usual, her cousin was opening sensitive topics like this and it was not helping her think straight.
She stared at the road before she spoke; wanting to buy some time because she was still not ready to talk about this but then she remembered that it was Tsubasa she was talking to. "He told me the things I want to hear from him," Mikan started. She could clearly remember the way he said it with his sweet and reassuring tone. She almost believed in him again but quickly snapped out of it. "He left nothing. He said it all. Everything. If things aren't so complicated, I might have gotten back with him as soon as yesterday but that's the point, things are complicated."
"What did you say to him then?" Tsubasa asked without having any idea on what his cousin answered.
She bit her lip, remembering everything that had happened with her meeting with Natsume. "I told him that it's too broken," Mikan said weakly. "I told him that he couldn't just get back in my life like nothing terrible happened. He said that he will give up everything for me but I do not believe in his words anymore. Those are just pretty lies."
Tsubasa nodded and glanced at his cousin, asking, "You are happy with that? Do you think he's still lying?"
Mikan made a deep sigh; her eyes made a sadder expression. She closed her eyes, rethinking if she was happy with her decision. "I'm not happy, okay? Besides, I don't know what to feel. All I know is that he made everything complicated now. Like today, this was supposed to be a happy trip but knowing he will be there, damn, I don't know what to feel anymore."
Tsubasa lifted his free hand and ruffled Mikan's hair, grinning. "Make yourself happy, cousin. What if being with him is the only thing you really ever wanted? What if you are just blinded by moving on? What if that this is one of those times that you don't need to move on but to move back? I am not saying that it is your fault. I am just saying that what if being with Natsume Hyuuga, after being broken by him, is the only cure? Six months had passed. I can sense that he is not lying."
She wanted to believe Tsubasa but she could not easily do that especially after many times of forgiving Natsume. "We've suffered too much," Mikan insisted. "We will only just hurt each other."
Tsubasa chuckled without the attention of offending his cousin. "Exactly! You two are meant to be with each other, after all, he found you. Love is like that, Mikan. You feel happy, sad, cheated, lied to, burnt, forgotten but in the end if you will work the feelings you have for each other, it will be okay."
She didn't talk after that. She just paid all her attention to the roads they were passing by while thinking Tsubasa's advice, Hotaru's lecture, and Natsume's words. If this was happening to anyone, they would have wanted to be alone right now but that did not apply to Mikan. She wanted to be surrounded by many people as possible, many wise people who will give her tips on what to do in this current issue she was facing.
She was looking forward for this trip and she could not bear to make it meaningless just because of her personal problems.
The beach was not too far from Tokyo and they immediately reached the place. Mikan pulled out her camera and took a careless shot, she didn't focus on anything; she just clicked the shutter release. The wind welcomed her at the moment she stepped off of the car. Her light blue scarf was following the wind's direction. She put on her shades and grabbed her sweater.
"We're here and there they are," Mikan announced and started walking towards her friends.
On the other hand, Tsubasa shook his head when Mikan got out of the car. His cousin was being hardheaded. He could already see Mikan taking photos with her stoic face attached. Her friends were waving at her and she ran for it. She talked to them casually and pointed at him. It seems like Mikan was telling them that he was her stupid cousin by the way she smirked at him. With that, Tsubasa quickly got his things and walked to their direction.
"I hope you don't mind bringing Natsume with us," Ruka whispered to her ear politely.
Mikan gave Ruka an 'it's okay' smile and said, "Oh. I can't do something about that now, can I?", she whispered back.
"Hey!" Tsubasa greeted. His eyes landed first on Natsume and observed him carefully. Mikan was certainly right on her stories; this Natsume boy was not the approachable type of guy. Tsubasa wanted to talk to him since they shared the same story but judging on Natsume's expression now which was foul, he was afraid their chat would be impossible.
"Everybody, this is Tsubasa, my cousin. Tsubasa, this is Koko, Hotaru, Koko, and Natsume." Mikan said, trying not to be awkward.
Tsubasa saluted at them and stepped forward, standing before the raven-haired boy. "Natsume Hyuuga. Hey, nice to finally meet you."
Natsume, with his arms crossed, simply looked up. "Hn."
Mikan took a shot of the two and offered, "Let's go?"
"Right. The cabin's over there." Tsubasa led the walk from the parking to the cabin. He walked beside Mikan and said, "Stop taking photos of me. I'm fed up already."
Mikan just chuckled and Tsubasa rolled his eyes making a step forward.
"Am I the responsible person for your sudden fascination for photos?" Hotaru asked to the brunette, she was now beside Mikan who was left by Tsubasa.
"Yeah," Mikan smiled, "I blame you."
"How typical of you," was all Hotaru replied to her.
The resort was modern style. It was indeed a private property. Palm trees were on both sides of the pathway and also the lamp posts. The two-storey cabin was made of wood though and so were the furniture. There were two balconies parallel to each other, one from the ground floor and another in the second floor. It was an early morning and the breeze was indeed cold but when they entered the house, the fireplace was all ready and it gave them a little warmth.
Koko was ecstatic and led himself to the garden beside the main cabin. He saw different kinds and colors of flowers and some of them were fragrant. The grass was green; an indication that the place was well-kept. The goofy boy sat at one of the benches surrounded by garden lamp posts and chuckled. He was starting to think that he was in some kind of paradise with his closest friends. He would definitely enjoy this short excursion.
Mikan followed her friend and smiled when she saw how happy Koko was. She was as excited as him. Bringing her friends wasn't so bad after all. She then remembered her first trip with them. That was the very first time when she saw Natsume's different sides: his moody side, his caring side, and a glimpse of his past. Mikan's expression changed after that thought crossed her mind. She realized that even after now the best moments that happened in her life were the time she spent it all with Natsume Hyuuga.
"This is a beautiful place, Mikan. Get a picture of me." Koko asked and made a pose.
Mikan chuckled and did what Koko wanted.
"It's my first time being here so asking me questions about the place would be pointless," Mikan reminded him and took a photo of him again.
Ruka chuckled, taking a step downward to be on the garden. "Well, that explains the hint of excitement in your face," he commented. He was, too, amazed by the place.
"Am I that obvious?" Mikan asked with a blush.
"Hey, cuz, a little help here?" Tsubasa's voice echoed from the living room. Mikan walked towards Tsubasa who patted her head the moment she was beside him, she quickly punched him lightly in the stomach and argued with him a little, threatening him that the next time he would ruffle her hair, he will wake up in a hospital bed the next morning.
"You are Miss Yukihara's daughter?" an old voice interrupted Tsubasa and Mikan's bantering.
Mikan pushed Tsubasa a little and smiled at the old man. She suddenly realized that she was acting childish and it was more embarrassing since an old man was in front of her. "Yeah, you could say that."
The old man examined her first which she found awkward and gave Tsubasa a confused look until the caretaker beamed, "Finally! We've been waiting for you. We have prepared everything for your convenience." The old man said.
Mikan smiled with warmth. "Thank you very much."
"Please enjoy your stay," the caretaker added.
"We will. Thank you again."
Supper was ended. It was like a feast. Fresh seafood was served and everyone had a good time. Tsubasa was the one who had the best time of all by telling stories to them, making jokes, giving advices since he was older while Mikan was busy giving sarcastic replies to him. Ruka asked what was Mikan doing all these six months and Mikan answered them truthfully. She said she was home-schooled but still had a great time and enrolled in Photography classes. She also mentioned her mother which hyped up the curiosity of everyone except Tsubasa.
The brunette tried to be subtle about her mother but Hotaru butted in and announced to the group almost everything about Yuka Yukihara. Mikan just chuckled because she forgot for a moment there that Hotaru had her way of knowing every single thing. Koko asked Mikan if she was communicating with her Dad and the others and she said yes. Mikan also talked about Yuu and how she wanted for them to meet him. Natsume's eyes squinted at the mentioning of a boy's name and Ruka noticed it so the blonde-haired boy asked Mikan to elaborate more about Yuu Tobita.
Mikan's eyes placed a confusing expression and said that Yuu was her very first college friend who liked to hit the books and wanted to graduate with flying colors. Koko expressed his feeling of wanting to meet this Yuu and Mikan was happy with it. The brunette also told some stories about The Pastry Bar and Anna and Nonoko. Tsubasa said in between the conversation that his pretty little cousin was the bane of existence of the bakeshop. Mikan smacked him repeatedly for that.
The dinner was filled with laughter. Natsume watched Mikan silently from his seat and finally saw how much she changed. She was now independent, could make decisions of her own, and stronger. It seemed like everyone progressed except for him who was still stuck in the days when Mikan was still by his side, changing his life every day.
After that light conversation and catching up, Mikan decided to spend time for a while at the seashore. She couldn't look at Natsume straight in the eye all throughout dinner and it was bothering her because it should be the other way around. Well, she was aware that Natsume was observing her. She was not dumb and because she was no dumb, she would do, at all cause, to avoid Natsume.
"Natsume is dying." A voice behind her said that made her jump to her peaceful seat.
Mikan placed a hand on her heart and scowled at Ruka. "Not you too. Why are you telling me this, Ruka? You know what he did. At least, you understand why I am acting like this."
Ruka nodded and sat beside her. He then admired the beauty of the beach at night which was more captivating than in day. "He broke the engagement to be with you," Ruka said and picked up a stone, throwing it in the water. "He did that a long time ago, actually. Natsume ended the most possible way for him to inherit their family's fortune. We were also shocked when he did that but it turns out we were too late because he made that decision a few days after you left."
"What?" Mikan asked in surprise, glancing at Ruka in an instant. "Why?" she added.
Ruka placed his hands on his back making it a support and now admired the sky. "He is friends now with your sister. He hasn't told you that?" he replied instead without answering her question.
"Obviously," Mikan muttered bitterly.
"He is serious about you," Ruka said firmly. "That is one of the biggest decision he made in his entire life and he did that because his feelings for you overpowered his longtime desire for the inheritance. I think you should think about what he did. It's no joke. At least talk him about that. We can't give him the credit, you know."
Mikan grinned and shook her head. "He loves the old me not the new me."
The blonde-haired boy stood up, dusting off the sand in his pants and looked down at Mikan. "You're the same, Mikan. You may look a lot different now but you are still you."
Ruka's words stayed in her mind even after he left. In the back of her mind, she believed in him.
After Ruka left, Mikan stayed at the shore. The night was still young and the cabin was just a few meters away so if ever something happened, she could easily ran towards it. Even with her jacket on, she could still feel the cold wind touching her skin. She was sitting there for an hour now but still didn't get to admire the beauty of the beach. She grabbed her camera and took photos of the water, of the cabin, of the sand, of the stars, the moon, the stones scattered in the sand, the rock formation surrounding the resort, and herself in front of these beautiful sceneries.
She took a peek and turned around to get a photo of the cabin again, this time in a different angle but was stopped when Natsume was standing in front of her. Her eyes were glued at him, her mouth was unable to say some words, and for a second, her world stopped. She didn't know what to do or feel because whatever she would say, it won't seem right. Nothing was ever right for the both of them. And yet, it felt the opposite.
"I know I'm the last person you want to see now," Natsume said, making Mikan to return to her senses. He looked at Mikan with unsure eyes, very different with how his eyes looked half a year ago which was full of confidence, happiness, and emotion. This time, it was pure uncertainty. Natsume looked at her intently, feeling all the exhaustion from waiting for months disappearing. This was what he wanted: to see her; but even if she was just right in front of him, there was no difference to the months she had been gone. She was still far.
"Not really," Mikan answered shortly.
She had a feeling that Natsume will talk to her about their broken relationship again since it was the only thing they could be chatting right now and even if she didn't want to hear it, she believed in what Tsubasa said earlier. What if the only cure was Natsume himself? After all, all this time, she still loved him. Nothing changed when it came to her feelings. So to break the tension of the atmosphere, Mikan lifter her arm and took a photo of Natsume who was blinded for a moment by the flash.
Mikan turned around and looked at the register, surprised that Natsume managed to be handsome even though it was a stolen shot, while saying, "I just heard. You broke the engagement and now friends with my sister. Although I find that really impossible, I believed in it since Ruka was the one who told me." As she kept on ranting, Natsume went in front of her. She just stared at him with her big brown orbs. "So. . .you cancelled it," she breathed.
"Will that change a thing?" Natsume asked in his usual tone.
Mikan gulped, not knowing what to answer. She really didn't know what to reply because she might give him the wrong answer. She turned around again and pretended to be busy with her camera. Natsume smirked at her actions. She was fidgety, hesitant, scared, and doubtful; Natsume could tell it all. Again, Mikan was trying to run away from him but never will he let her go this time. He grabbed her arm, making her face him.
The brunette squeaked and asked rapidly, "How was Sumire? Did she handle it well?"
Natsume smiled at her awkward reaction and answered, "She did. Because maybe she realized that she really doesn't see me that way."
Mikan's eyes narrowed and lifted a finger, shushing him. "Do not smile at me like that. Did you take good care of her?" she asked in a concerned-sister tone.
"She takes good care of herself," Natsume replied slyly. "She is better now. You know, she really is concerned for you. We had our fights and those were all about you but she is better."
"That's nice to hear," Mikan said. "I cannot wait to see her again. It's been so long."
"Mikan," he called out.
Mikan glanced at the cabin and said, "I better go." She removed Natsume's hand from her arm and looked at him apologetically.
"It is not too broken," Natsume said before she had the chance to completely run away.
Mikan faced him with an irritated expression. "Really? What part of it?" she asked in a challenging tone. "How can you say that, Natsume? It is! It is too broken. Face it already. There is nothing you can do about this anymore!"
Natsume stepped forward to reach her. "The part where it is clear that we both want, need, and love each other."
She made a scowl and pushed Natsume. "That's bullshit. I don't need you."
Natsume felt a pang in her heart right after she said that.
The raven-haired boy quickly grabbed her hand, placing it on his face. "Even after six months, you are still making me crazy." Natsume started, his voice was gasping for air. "You are right. I didn't have to give up everything and all I had to do is accept you. I had caused you pain many times already. First, when I wanted our engagement to be public and you disagreed with it but I insisted, you started saying words to me that no one ever had; second, when we were supposed to meet my old man, you threw a meat and spilled a drink to me, third was when I went out with Haruka, fourth was when I kissed her. Fifth, was this. The biggest mistake I have ever made."
Mikan brushed her fingers through his mane. "Marvelous. You know your faults." She looked at him in the eye.
Natsume's eyes concentrated on hers. He was looking like last the other day when they met again. "I cannot promise you that I will be perfect, that I won't hurt you again but I can promise you that whatever happens, I will be by your side. I will be there for you, always."
"Sounds like you're offering friendship to me," Mikan said with a laugh, glancing at her side.
He shook his head and rested his forehead on hers. "No. Of course not."
Mikan didn't know why she was letting Natsume touch her like this and be close to him like this. She was always reminded on how happy she was whenever she was near him. Memories of him and her were the one responsible for letting him so close. "Just kidding."
"I'm sorry," Natsume whispered.
Mikan cried that night. Again. She hated herself for feeling sorry for making Natsume suffer this much. She caressed his face and let her tears flow before she said, "I'm sorry, too. Because right now you are not making any sense to me. I have to go."
Natsume watched her go. She had a point. He was not making any sense because he was the one who hurt her but for a reason. Maybe she just needed time. He said everything he wanted and everything depends now on Mikan. He just hoped that Mikan would make the right decision.
"So, are you giving up?" Ruka asked the moment Natsume entered the cabin and after he saw Mikan running towards her room. His back was resting on the wall of the living room of the cabin. The lights were already dim but no one was still sleeping.
Natsume sat at the couch and looked outside through the open glass door and said, "No way."
Ruka nodded. "Good."
Natsume just smirked knowing how much his friends were supporting him all throughout. They were all rooting for him, to get back with Mikan. He was sure that his friends missed Mikan too but no one could compare to the tremendous sadness he was feeling just because he missed the brunette. "I tried every single thing I know to make her believe that I really love her but why does it seems like nothing is working out? She really does hate me."
Ruka patted Natsume's shoulder; his eyes were focusing on the dimmed hallway. "I don't think so. I guess she just needed time."
The raven haired boy pulled down his head. "I hope you're right."
"Is Hyuuga being dramatic?" Hotaru suddenly entered the serious conversation. She entered from the door connecting to the garden. She stayed there after dinner, bringing her laptop with her and started working on some files Hitoshi Hyuuga just sent her. After getting bored because her work was done, she decided to butt in into the boys' conversation.
Ruka loved the voice he just heard and quickly glanced at Hotaru. "Well, what do you expect, Hotaru? He's crazy about her."
"I know," she agreed.
"Hey, what are you three talking about?" another voice joined. This time it was Koko. It seems like he was out from his room because he couldn't sleep. Koko yawned as he messed with his own hair and took a seat on the opposite side of Natsume.
"Just Natsume and Mikan," Ruka answered with a smile and pushed Koko lightly on his seat.
Koko looked up to Ruka and then he diverted his gaze to Natsume. "You talked to her again?" he asked in a serious tone.
Natsume didn't answer and instead, just looked at the side. He knew that Koko was really concerned about Mikan in a different way.
Hotaru observed the Hyuuga and frowned, looking at Koko. "You just got your answer, Yome."
Koko sympathized for his friend. He also placed a sad expression but planning on saying something that will lighten up Natsume. "Well, you just got to have more patience, Natsume. It had never been easy for her, too. Besides, you just met. Rushing up things will only make her mind blow."
He was right. No matter what happened, his friends were always there. "I hope you're right, Koko. I also hope that time is what she really needs."
Everyone was packing up their things. In an hour, they will leave the resort and return to the city. Mikan had gotten what she wanted and she was satisfied with all her photos. Tsubasa was busy talking to the caretaker of the cabin. Ruka and Hotaru were checking out the other sites to see in the resort. Koko was feeling the waves on his feet and later was joined by Ruka and Hotaru. Natsume went to Mikan's room, only to see her looking through the window, watching Koko, Ruka, and Hotaru enjoy the beach.
Looking at her in such a peaceful expression made him wanted to join her. He missed her so much. Even though they knew each other for such a short time, they already shared lots of wonderful memories; be it good or bad. The trials they faced, the conquered it together and he thought that it made them stronger but he was wrong because it only made Mikan stronger. Natsume was still in the same place as six months ago. He did not move on.
Mikan barely noticed his presence. Maybe because she was too focused in arranging her things. She was more organized now. She was wearing dresses unlike before where pants and plain shirts were her style. Her hair was wavier and it was in a different shade of brown. The way she talked to him, it was like he was talking to a girl similar to Haruka. She began to like things like photography which came as a surprise to him. Her beauty glowed all of a sudden. Physically, she was not the Mikan Sakura before but in the other aspects of personality; she was still her, somehow.
"Good view?" Natsume asked, trying to be casual. He wanted to be noticed by her. Always.
"Terrific," Mikan answered. "The best photos are those that capture the moment of happiness." She added as an explanation. The girl then stood up and continued packing her personal belongings like her phone, wallet, cap, and many more.
Natsume welcomed himself in the room and sat at the bed which was beside Mikan's luggage and bags. "Are you happy now?" he asked suddenly while looking at her, noting that she was looking so busy.
Mikan smiled as she placed her pouch on her bag, not meeting Natsume's gaze. "What kind of question is that?"
He also noted her smile and the way she asked him. "A terrific one," he replied with a chuckle.
Mikan stopped at what she was doing and pulled down her bags to the floor, sitting at where the luggage was placed before. "I don't think happiness can be measured with words," she said as she finally looked at Natsume.
"Do you still like old things?" was his follow-up question.
She nodded and said, "I do." She was wondering what was Natsume up to.
On the other hand, Natsume was actually happy that she was responding at her questions. "You still need to drink water the moment you wake up?" he asked again. That mannerism of Mikan was the first one he noticed about her and would never forget about her.
Mikan blushed a little, feeling a little important because Natsume was telling her the things he knew about her. "Sort of. I mean, water is not really bad, right?" she said in defense.
He liked the way she was answering. He knew she was feeling awkward now but he didn't want to stop at any moment. "Do you know how to swim or not yet?"
She shook her head as her lips formed a thin line; her locks followed the motion of the shaking of his head. She rested her elbows on her knees and thought about Natsume's question. "Not yet. Next summer, that was my target lesson to take. Hey, what's up with the many questions?"
He stared at her for a moment and gave a ghost smile. "Nothing. Just making sure you didn't change."
Mikan bit her lip and looked up to him. She was counting mentally on how many times she had been told that she really did not change at all. "I've been told. It doesn't really matter, does it? I mean, even if I don't, I would still not talk to you. We are still broken."
"But you are talking to me now," Natsume pointed out. He hated it when she was emphasizing that their relationship was too wrecked to be fixed. It was really not. If only he could accept her again then everything would be just the way as it is.
"I'm aware," she answered, tearing her gaze away from him. "I know what I said."
Natsume found this awkward because he started to realize that he was desperate for her attention and wondered if Mikan ever noticed this and actually enjoyed seeing him in such state. "But still, when I look at you now, it's obvious that you have changed," he still said.
"This is for the better, Natsume." Mikan replied, trying to make him understand.
There was a pause; silence engulfed the room and Natsume didn't know what to say next. They were both uncomfortable at each other. He noticed that Mikan stopped packing and just stared into space. It looked like she was waiting for him to say something in what she said earlier but Natsume had not anything in his mind because he believed in her. Her change was for the better. At least, she was better because it could be more difficult if Natsume found a Mikan who had not moved on yet.
"I'm glad you found your mother," he suddenly said.
Hey eyes scanned the room and her lips made a small smile which was directed at him. "Thanks."
Natsume stood up. There was nothing for them to talk about anyway. He had no questions for her as of now and even if he had, she wouldn't answer it.
"My old man would really want to see you. You can visit us once in a while."
"Of course, I would really love that." She answered, trying to sound excited for his offer. "Natsume?" she added, standing up.
"Yeah?"
Mikan stared at him for a while before she shook her head and said, "Nothing." She then went back to her things, lifting them up so she could already put it in the car.
He already turned his back when suddenly he remembered something. "Let me ask you one thing again."
She looked up to meet his face; her right hand was lifting her luggage while her left put the stray bang that went to her face when she got her bag. "What's that?"
"Did you keep the ring?"
End of Chapter
Short. I know. So again, I've scanned this story just to get some notable facts and what I found was errors. Embarrassing errors. This story needs revision for real and I really don't know why you survived on reading this despite of the overload of errors. Well, I guess back in 2009, I still don't know how to write decently.
One more chapter and it's done.
