Chapter Twenty-Nine: Thanks for Nothing

It was Thanksgiving Day at the Dean household, but no one gave thanks. No one felt that they had anything to be thankful for. Tawny had considered going over to one of her friend's for the meal, but decided against it, figuring it better to wallow in her own despair and not bum anyone else out. It was the least she could do, in the spirit of the holiday, not force anyone to endure her.

So she was at her house. With her family. With no turkey (though as a vegetarian that didn't really bother her). No potatoes (now this was sad). And no cranberry sauce (she'd never understood the big to-do about this though).

There were white boxes of Chinese food on the kitchen counter, which she could see from her perch atop the stairs. Her parents were there though, hovering and picking at the food like vultures. They were arguing, as per usual. That wouldn't last long though—they had decided to divorce, finally. They hadn't told Tawny yet, but she'd overheard. And even though it seemed inevitable, even though it was clearly better for all of them, upon hearing that news a little piece of her broke inside. It broke for the memories of her years spent in ignorance. The years when she was happy—when they were happy. The Deans were once a happy family, as far as Tawny was concerned.

"I don't want joint custody, Joanne," Roger bellowed.

"Keep your voice down!" she hissed back.

Tawny kept listening in, knowing no good would come of her doing so.

"Have I censored myself at all this last year? No. I have not. I don't care if Tawny can hear me or not."

"I can't handle her full-time, Roger," Joanne snapped. "I don't care how much she's 'ruined your life', I think it's safe to say we've pretty much ruined hers this last year too. And it isn't her fault that she exists."

"No, it's yours, which is why you should have to deal with her from now on. I want to start a family with Anna and I don't want to have any ties to this--"

"It takes two people to make a child," she countered.

"It takes one bitch to refuse aborting," he barked.

No, we were never a happy family. I just didn't know any better. Tawny pressed her forehead against her palms. Why am I listening to this? It's not helping anything.

She wearily got to her feet and made her way into her bedroom where she curled up on her bed, hugging a pillow close to her, and stared out the window…feeling a very strong urge to cry, but finding herself simply unable to. So she just stared blankly out at a low hanging moon already visible in the afternoon sky.


Twitty nervously hovered around outside the Stevens'. Louis had called him over for Thanksgiving dinner, as they did every year.

"Twitty?" Louis's familiar voice sounded through the telephone.

"Louis?" Twitty had been unable to hide his surprise.

"Dinner is at 4, if you're coming, just thought I'd let you know," and with that Louis hung up.

So here Twitty was. Unsure of why he was invited at all, but sensing it a good step.

"Twitty?" a familiar voice came from behind.

He whirled around to find his literal partner-in-crime, Ruby Mendel.

"Hey," Twitty greeted her. "What are you doing here?"

"Ren invited me for dinner," she explained. "I wasn't going to come because of Louis, but she said he was really ok with it."

Twitty nodded. "Yeah, he invited me."

She smiled. "That's good. That's…that's really good."

"I hope so. I'm too old to make a new best friend," he half-laughed.

"Well, we should go in, shouldn't we?" she asked, gesturing toward the door.

He nodded and pushed open the front door, ushering Ruby in before him.

"Hey!" Eileen Stevens greeted both kids enthusiastically, revealing that she probably hadn't been let in on the dramatic happenings in the life of her son.

She hugged them both. "Dinner will be on the table in less than half an hour," she assured them before scurrying off into the kitchen.

The two headed upstairs, parting ways at the top as they went to the rooms of their respective friends.

"Knock, knock," Ruby said as she appeared in Ren's doorway.

"Oh, hey," Ren replied, uninterestedly—she was reading a novel and didn't look up to greet her friend. "Louis is the one who actually invited you here tonight. I mean, not that I wouldn't have, but…well, I wouldn't have, because of the situation."

"Louis invited me?" Ruby asked, smiling in spite of herself. Her heart filled with hope.

"He did. Let him talk with Twitty for a bit, and then go over there. I think this could be good for you. Maybe things will end up ok. And everyone will be happy—except for Tawny and I, but, hey, that would take a miracle," Ren explained bitterly, not taking her nose out of her book.

Ruby detected the tone of her friend, but couldn't stop smiling at the thought of Louis inviting her here. It had to be a good sign… it had to be. Didn't it?

Twitty sat on the edge of Louis's bed, watching his friend pace back and forth.

"You're my best friend," Louis explained, clearly anxious. "And you…betrayed me…in the worst way possible, pretty much. And I know you were drunk and…you're…you…but you're…a good guy. You're a good friend, Twitty. And you've been a good friend for years, up until this. This one thing. This huge thing. But this one thing. So…I'm…I'm going to try and forgive you. Because you are my best friend and that doesn't just stop because you did one horrible thing."

Twitty nodded, unsure of whether or not he should say anything.

"But I've got to know, man—it was just the one time, right? With you and Ruby?"

"Totally. Just once. We felt so awful afterwards, Louis… I can't even begin to explain…"

"I know, I know," he nodded. "I've been listening to you guys, just not responding. I heard everything. I know."

Ruby appeared in the doorway then, lightly rapping her fist against the frame.

Louis looked at her hesitatingly and then sighed. "I want to try with us again too."

Her eyes went wide, filling uncontrollably with tears of joy.

"I love you, and I know you love me, and I know you won't hurt me again, so…" he paused. "So, I want to try again."

She nodded eagerly, blinking in an effort to keep from crying.

He walked over to her and pulled her into a tight hug and she let it all out.

"Dinner is on the table!" Steve hollered from downstairs.


Ren lay atop her bed, fully clothed, staring at the ceiling. It had been a good day. Ruby and Louis were back together, Twitty and Louis were back together, the food was great…

But Ren was still… the same. Everything was the same for her. Tawny wouldn't let anything change.

Just then, she heard a light rapping sound on her window.

"Speak of the devil," Ren mumbled, sliding off her bed and going over to the window. Sure enough, Tawny was sitting just outside. Ren pushed up the glass and helped the younger girl inside. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving," Tawny nodded back, her speech slurred just enough that Ren knew she'd done some drinking.

Ren reached up and brushed a lock of hair out of Tawny's face. "How are you?"

"Fine," Tawny replied, mechanically. "I'm fine. I just…I'm fine."

Ren nodded, inhaling deeply.

Tawny tilted her head up to look at the older girl, and for a moment, a brief moment, she considered telling Ren about her parents' divorcing. About neither of them wanting her. But instead, she moved her hands up to Ren's face and pulled her into a soft, slow kiss.

Tawny didn't even realize it, but she had begun to cry, causing Ren to pull away.

Biting her lip in frustration, Tawny muttered: "Just ignore it."

"I can't ignore that," Ren replied softly. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Tawny said, wiping her eyes.

"I'm not--"

"Can you take me home?" Tawny cut her off.

Anger, annoyance, and sadness all commingled in one deep sigh from Ren's lips.

Tawny turned toward the door, and Ren followed her out.

They didn't speak at all in the car, until they were in front of the Deans' house.

"You should come in," Tawny tried, desperately wanting the older girl to agree.

"Do you want to talk?" Ren asked in vain.

"No," Tawny replied. "No, I don't want to talk. That's not what I need from you. You…this isn't shallow and base and low, Ren, it's just…it's what I need. I need you to come inside and just…be there. Just be with me."

"I'm trying to, Tawny," Ren answered, without looking at the younger girl.

"I don't need you for talking, that's not why I come to you, Ren," Tawny said, regretting the words as soon as they left her lips. "That's not what I mean, I--"

"I am not your whore," Ren interrupted coldly.

"I know," Tawny replied lamely. "I don't think of you like that."

Ren nodded. "I don't think I can do this anymore, Tawny."

"What?"

"It's not me," she lamented. "I can't do benefits with you. You don't need that. You need a friend and you won't let me be a friend. That's what I see with you. If it's really just sex, if you really want just a whore, then go find someone else. I'm in it for more than that and it's not working for either of us like this."

"Ren," Tawny protested weakly.

"Get some sleep," Ren shook her head. "Find someone you can talk to."

"Ren," Tawny tried again, though she had nothing to say.

Ren leaned across the car, giving Tawny a quick kiss and opening the door for her. "Goodnight, Tawny. And goodbye."