Jackson wasn't sure how long he'd been awake, he just lay with his head turned, quietly staring at the beautiful sight of Aaron Livesy sleeping. Aaron's eyes were gently closed, his lips slightly parted, and Jackson could feel his soft breath collide with him in waves. At some point during the night, Aaron had shifted and his head now lay on Jackson's pillow. They were almost against one another, and when Jackson looked down, he saw that their hands were entwined. He didn't dare move or make a sound, this needed to last forever.
There were all sorts of questions he should be asking, like what was going on between them and what about Dean and, mostly, was there even anything going on between them? He didn't want to though, he just wanted to enjoy this moment.
Aaron stirred and it made Jackson freeze as if he was some deer caught in headlights, and when Aaron's eyes opened, he looked back, momentarily confused. This didn't last long, though, because after seconds, his eyes flickered to their linked fingers and he gazed back up at Jackson. They were laying perfectly parallel, the smallest of space between their lips. They lay like this for the longest time and Jackson could see the rise and fall of Aaron's chest, and then, slowly, Aaron inched forward hesitantly. Jackson lost his breath as Aaron's lips paused just short of his own.
"Aaron," he breathed, but he didn't understand why. Aaron then closed the gap between them and gently caught Jackson's lips, and Jackson felt himself respond. Their lips stayed locked as they stilled against one another, exchanging oxygen. Jackson savoured the feel of Aaron's beard against his own and the softness of his nose. And then Aaron was moving away and Jackson looked at him bewildered as he pulled back the duvet cover, kicking it onto the floor, and then reached over Jackson to the side of the bed. "What are you doing?" He barely dared ask and instantly felt the head of the bed rise, Aaron seemed intently concentrating on the control panel; he was knelt on the bed, breathing deeply.
"Aaron, what…?" The remote was dropped once Jackson was fully sitting and he looked at Aaron who didn't pause before darting back over and capturing Jackson's mouth once more, this time deepening the kiss and pulling back slowly.
"I want to be with you," Aaron whispered as he held Jackson's head in both of his hands. His head was turned and he felt lips rest against his ear. He rolled his head closer and Aaron's hot breath filled every one of his senses. "I know you want to be with me too."
He couldn't deny it and he didn't want to either. "Jackson," Aaron continued, breathily, "I want to make love to you." Jackson paused, letting those words wash over him. This was happening, Aaron wanted him and Jackson thought he might collapse. He nodded and then, before thinking, turned his head to catch Aaron's top lip between his teeth. Their noses collided and they merged together, kissing each other slowly and yet hungrily. Aaron pulled back and, still kneeling in front of Jackson, started removing his own top carefully, only braking eye contact when his t-shirt was pulled over his head. He then moved onto his underwear and Jackson could immediately see Aaron was hard.
He couldn't understand it, how could Aaron be hot for him? How could he have this effect on the other man?
Jackson swallowed hard and bit his bottom lip as Aaron gently stroked himself and moved back in for another searing kiss; he once again gripped Jackson's face and then slowly trailed kisses down his neck, stopping short of where his sensation ended. Even after all this time, Aaron could still remember the exact spot where he could no longer feel and it completely overwhelmed Jackson. He continued to lay there as Aaron sucked and nibbled him, and when Jackson glanced down, he could see Aaron messily stroking himself, moving his hand up and down, and then lower it to pull on the skin wrapping his testicles. Aaron's breathing was coming out heavier and he used his free hand to guide Jackson's mouth back towards his lips, his eyes remained open the whole time and Jackson stared into them. Their kiss slowed and Jackson felt Aaron's smile against him. The younger man then sat back slightly and studied Jackson's face; he reached forward for the hem of Jackson's T-shirt.
For the first time, he felt panic. "What are you doing?"
Aaron froze and blinked heavily for a moment, he seemed genuinely confused. "I want to see you…''
"No."
He slipped his thumb just underneath the T-shirt and Jackson watched him minutely stroke his stomach. Jackson couldn't feel it and it made him sick. "What's wrong?" breathed Aaron.
Jackson squeezed his eyes shut and lowered his head, he barely made a sound as he spoke, "I don't want you to see this disgusting, useless body."
"You're not disgusting or useless."
He snorted vehemently. "Try saying that whilst looking at a colostomy bag."
Jackson was suddenly aware of his head being forcibly raised; Aaron was holding him so tightly that Jackson instantly struggled.
"Look at me." He couldn't and so Aaron shook his head slightly, "look at me!" When Jackson opened his eyes, Aaron was angrily staring back and was so close that he stole Jackson's air. "I don't care," Aaron's voice broke slightly. "I've never given a fuck!"
He let go aggressively and Jackson felt his head rock against the pillow. They both watched one another breathing heavily and Jackson couldn't ignore the desperate, pleading look. "I don't care, Jackson, I never have." He could see Aaron's hand move back towards his t-shirt hem slowly, still imploring, and Jackson swallowed hard. "I know," he barely replied, and then, swallowing the sickly feeling, he nodded his permission. Aaron nodded back. "It's going to be ok," he whispered forcefully.
"I know."
Aaron pulled Jackson against himself and kissed him. He was aware that his top was being lifted and pulled over his head, the entire time Aaron had pressed himself into Jackson's neck, licking and sucking. Jackson was lowered back onto the pillow, he was instantly so conscious of the colostomy bag and felt shame flame his cheeks, but Aaron reached out and touched the skin around it, "I don't care."
Of course he didn't, he never had; this was always Jackson's hang up.
Next, Aaron pulled off his shorts, tugging a little harder to get them over Jackson's hips, and once removed, he was completely naked. Jackson looked between their bodies and noticed the stark contrast; Aaron's torso was taut and lightly defined, and he had a sprinkling of hair against his dark skin. Jackson's body was just pale and slack, he had skinny chicken legs, and couldn't deny how much this upset him – not yet thirty and with the body of an old man.
Aaron was just smiling softly, lapping up what he saw, his eyes roaming up and down Jackson's form, resting every now and again on his face, and Jackson couldn't deny his apprehension. Eventually, Aaron fell forward to recapture Jackson's lips and this time the kisses were even more intense. He watched Aaron move one of his hands lower to resume stroking himself and Jackson just couldn't understand how Aaron could be so aroused, but he was, and in response it spurred Jackson on.
Their faces started whirling around, wrestling through the kiss. They were desperately entwined and fighting for dominance as they sucked on each other's tongue. "Aaron?"
"Mmm," Aaron responded distractedly as he pulled back and kissed the tip of Jackson's nose.
"Use my hand…"
"Your hand?"
"Yeah." The corners of Jackson's mouth curled into a smile at Aaron's bewildered expression, "I want you to touch yourself with my hand."
Aaron's breathing hitched.
And this was it, this was the moment that full realisation hit Jackson because Aaron didn't care, he really didn't care. It was clear to read in Aaron's eyes that he felt stupidly lucky and overwhelmed. Aaron cautiously reached out and picked up his hand, he rested it against his own chest and then lowered it slowly. When his hand reached Aaron's penis, he could see Aaron's eyes roll into the back of his head. Aaron immediately fell forward and put out an arm to steady himself, and maybe Jackson couldn't feel what was happening, but it didn't stop this from being amazing. He watched his own hand being curled around the base of Aaron's cock and then slowly moving up and down. His own breathing hitched and Aaron's eyes tightly closed as he let out a whine.
They continued like this for a few more strokes. Aaron lifted his head and grinned at Jackson through his heavy breathing, before falling forwards, retaking Jackson in a kiss and swinging his leg to be positioned in Jackson's lap. Jackson looked down to see Aaron grab his other hand, using them both to work up and down his penis and over his chest. He leaned closer and Jackson took this opportunity to trap one of Aaron's nipples between his teeth, which made Aaron call out.
Jackson kept him there, sucking harder and harder, and he could see from the erratic breathing and the way Aaron's head was thrown back that he was close. Jackson was being jarred about by the force and motion of his hands moving across Aaron and this was such a mind fuck. "Kiss me," he demanded hungrily and Aaron instantly threw his lips against Jackson's. Once there, he pulled on Aaron's bottom lip, sucking just as hard, and then Aaron was cuming, shaking through his orgasm and clashing against Jackson's teeth as he did.
He jerked a few times and their lips never left one another. Aaron slumped forward, breathing heavily against the side of Jackson's mouth. Jackson couldn't help his grin. "You ok?" Aaron asked, with an exhausted smile. In response, Jackson just nodded.
After a few minutes, Aaron pulled back and studied Jackson's face. He gently wiped a hand against his cheek and then allowed his thumb to slowly travel across Jackson's bottom lip. Jackson kissed it and neither of their breathing was yet regular. Both of them were smiling coyly and Aaron glanced down and he suddenly started laughing.
"What?"
Immediately, Jackson's hands were raised in front of him and he instantly noticed they were covered in Aaron's cum. There was a second delay and then both of them were laughing. Still laughing, Aaron leant in again and they kissed. Jackson thought he was so overwhelmed, he might cry.
Aaron grinned and pressed a kiss to the corner of Jackson's mouth. "I better get you cleaned up."
"OK."
Perhaps they should have been figuring out what the hell had just happened, but Jackson didn't want to, because he liked the way that Aaron was lowering the top of the bed. He liked how Aaron was resting his head against his chest, he liked how he was positioning his arms around him and, especially, he liked the way they were drifting back to sleep.
I hope everyone really enjoyed this chapter and a special thanks to Sylvain for beta reading.
