This story is seriously kicking my ass. We've got the flu running around our house and I'm sure it's just my perfectionism but this chapter just feels like it's lacking something...I dunno, most likely it's the angst that killing me--I can only handle so much.
I don't have much left before things come to a head with Jane and I'm throwing everything I can into making sure the story's researched properly, because the last thing I want to do is put something out there that's incorrect. I've gotten a lot of questions about whether or not I'm going to write any from Jane's POV and the answer as of right now is no. I would love to, but I honestly don't know if I can do her POV justice. I'll work on it, but if I'm not satisfied with it, it won't be part of the story. I might include it as an outtake though.
Two definitions you need to know:
Post-schizophrenic depression: A depressive episode arising in the aftermath of a schizophrenic illness where some low-level schizophrenic symptoms may still be present
Residual type: Where positive symptoms are present at a low intensity only
I've also been asked how the hell Annapolis could let Jane in...my answer is this: Residual type schizophrenia (above). It is extremelyhard to diagnose unless definitive positive symptoms are being displayed and is very often confused with bipolar disorder and OCD. Also, Edward mentions in previous chapters that she seemed perfectly fine and was extremely smart. Smart enough to know how to manipulate the psychiatric exam and get away from her life.
Positive symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia are: Auditory hallucinations, Delusions, Anxiety, Anger, Aloofness Violence, Verbal confrontations, Patronizing manner, Suicidal thoughts and behavior
Wiki it if you're interested. They have an awesome summary/definition. Also, A Beautiful Mind is based on John Nash, a mathematician who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia.
OK...long ass A/N over.
Lemon ahead and thanks for the reviews!
*~*
Chapter 29
Edward
"Fuck," I grunted, hitting the punching bag with as much force as possible.
Three weeks. It had been three fucking weeks since we'd shipped Eli off to Forks and there was absolutely no sign of Jane.
We'd done everything. Gone out to a few bars, out to dinner, walked alone in Grant Park, visited The Bean, gone to a fucking Bears game. We'd even gone back to the aquarium. I made sure I was all over Bella each and every time, flaunting our relationship. And still--nothing.
Jane's psychiatrist thought that Jane was in a post-schizophrenic depression, possibly reverting back to drug use. Which was something that kept Aro scouring the streets and checking the morgue for her daily. Unfortunately, there was no specific time frame that we could go by. Every individual afflicted with schizophrenia reacted differently to its symptoms.
"AHHHH," I screamed in frustration, pummeling the punching bag over and over again.
I felt a firm grip on my shoulder and wildly spun around, on the offense. I stopped suddenly as Emmett's cobalt blue eyes stared back at me.
I shrugged away from him and turned back to the punching bag. "Get the fuck off."
"You need to calm down, Cullen." I wiped the sweat that was dripping down to my eyes and ignored him, ready to start the beating again. "Look at your hands, dude."
I looked down and groaned. I'd forgotten to put tape on and they were completely bloodied and scraped up all along my knuckles.
"Shit!" I gave the bag on last hit.
"They'll find her," he said calmly.
"WHEN?" I roared. "When are they going to find her? Next fucking year?!"
"Edward." He looked at me evenly, unmoving.
I brought my hands to my face and wiped all the traces of sweat off. "God, Em. I miss him. I get to see him every fucking weekend but it's not the same. I miss the giggle that floats through my living room when something's funny on TV, I miss his random trivia when he's learned something new at school, I miss the way he crawls in the bed with Bella and me on Saturdays to watch cartoons, I miss..." I choked back a sob and stopped talking.
"I know," he said quietly, laying his hand on my back and pulling me against him. "I miss him, too. I know it's not the same, but you need to realize you're not the only one. This effects everyone."
I nodded and pulled away from him. "I need to take a shower and get home. Bella will be there soon."
"How's she handling this?" he asked as we walked to the locker room.
I thought about the first week without Eli at home. We both walked around in a daze just trying to get through the day so that we would be one day closer to seeing Eli again. The dynamic of our relationship hadn't changed; we were still us. But one mention of Eli, and the spark--the life--from Bella's eyes instantly disappeared, leaving her empty; blank. It was something I recognized immediately since I could feel myself doing the same thing.
"Like me. Most days we're fine. The first week was the hardest. Only occasionally does one of us," I stopped, thinking of how to describe it, "go a little crazy."
"You went more than a little crazy, Cullen. You went fucking postal on that innocent little bag hanging from the ceiling."
I chuckled. "I guess so."
"You need a trip to Vegas," he said with a grin.
I gave him an odd look. "What the hell does Vegas have to do with any of this shit?"
"You need a weekend to let loose and party," he said excitedly.
"This has nothing to do with you going out of town and partying with me, does it?" I asked skeptically.
"No." I just stared at him. "Okay, yeah. Maybe. Let's go next weekend!"
"What the hell is Eli going to do while we're there?"
He rolled his eyes. "You can't tell me Vegas doesn't have shit for the kids that live there, can you?"
I sighed. "I'm sure they do. Fine, plan it. See if Alice and Jazz want to go. I'll talk to Bella about it."
"Sweet!" He took off towards the weight machines. "I'll call you and let you know when I've got it all figured out!"
I shook my head and went into the locker room to take a quick shower. After I finished, I drove home quickly, wanting to get home to Bella as soon as possible, but found myself thinking about Eli the entire way.
Eli was happy, for the most part. Charlie never once mentioned anything other than how naturally buoyant he was. Occasionally, he'd mention something about wishing it was Friday so he could see Bella or talk about pizza and video games with me, but he never gave us any reason to worry. He loved being with his old friends and Charlie and Billy kept him busy during the week to keep his mind occupied and his heart from missing Chicago.
We'd gone camping in Yosemite the first weekend, making good on our promise to take Eli fishing the entire time. Bella never said a word, but I could tell she was bored out of her mind the entire trip.
So, the next weekend we took Eli to San Diego and took him to the San Diego Zoo and Sea World. To say he was pissed when we had to leave before getting a chance to go to the beach and Legoland would be a vast understatement. He threw a tantrum on the way to the airport, where Tyler was waiting with the plane.
Needless to say, we spent last weekend in San Diego again, spending the day at the beach in wetsuits boogie boarding on Saturday and then got a late start back to Chicago on Sunday after spending an entire fucking day at Legoland.
If I never saw another sculpture made of Legos again, it would be too soon.
This weekend we were going to be the closest to Forks that we'd ever get--Seattle--since it was Halloween. Bella and Jacob had plans to take Eli trick-or-treating Saturday and knew of plenty of things for us to do from the time they lived there.
I got back to the house and walked into the kitchen, stopping in my tracks. There was only one upside to Eli being in Forks. And I was currently staring at it.
"Jesus H. Fuck!" I yelled, grinning widely. "Can you read my fucking mind, baby?"
Bella was cooking dinner in nothing but an red apron and high heels. She had her back turned to me and I could see the delicious curve of her ass as she chopped an onion, making my dick instantly harden. She looked over her shoulder and gave me a wide, innocent look.
"What do you mean?" She batted her eyelashes at me, making my dick twitch against my jeans.
"I mean the morning after I spent the night with you the first time, I could think of nothing better than to watch you cook in nothing but an apron before I bent you over the table and fucked the hell out of you."
She slowly walked over towards me, passing me by with a smirk and went towards the table. She bent over it, resting her elbows on the table and spreading her legs apart, and looked over at me. I saw the swell of her breast peeking out of the side of her apron and felt the saliva pool in my mouth.
"Like this?"
Holy mother of God, I've died and gone straight to fucking heaven. Or maybe hell.
I moaned. "Exactly like that."
I walked over and ran my hand over her ass, trailing my fingers lightly across the back of her thigh as I made my way in between her legs, stroking her gently. She moaned softly before quickly turning around to face me.
"Not so fast," she said playfully. "There's something I wanted to do first."
"And what's that?" I asked, my voice gritty.
She said nothing as she pushed down my jeans and boxers so that they were gathered down at my ankles. My dick bounced lightly once it was free, just begging for attention. She got down on her knees and looked up at me, cocking her brow and taking me in her hand. I watched her lick the bottom of my shaft, groaning as she swirled her tongue over the tip. She wrapped her lips around me and slowly moved down my dick, putting me in her hot little mouth.
"Christ," I whispered thickly. "Just like that."
I watched her head bob, feeling my muscles tense up as she went further and further down my shaft with her mouth. I hit the back of her throat and heart myself emit a low moan as she sucked down hard, grazing her teeth across the bottom of my shaft and pumping the part of me that didn't fit in her mouth with her hand.
I could feel myself getting closer and quickly pulled out of her mouth, grabbing her and spinning her around and bending her over the table. I didn't want to come in her mouth, I wanted to come inside her.
I kicked her legs further apart gently as I ripped off my shirt and then thrust inside her, feeling how wet she had gotten by trying to please me.
"God, Bella," I groaned. "You feel so fucking good."
"Edward," she moaned, bending her body forward even further and making me go deeper.
I snaked my hand inside the apron and palmed her breast, flicking her nipple and tugging on it slightly, listening to her moans get louder as I gently twisted it in my fingers.
Between the scene playing out before me and the fact that I was already close when I entered her, I knew I wasn't going to last much fucking longer. I pulled my hand away from her breast and snuck it up the apron, rubbing her clit softly and pinching it.
She pushed back into me and I took my other hand and grabbed her shoulder so that I could get more leverage as I drove into her harder and faster. I was breathing heavily and grunting as I felt the blood rush in my veins, sending that aching fire racing through my dick as I came. I concentrated on continuing my thrusts as she tightened around me.
With one quick pull on her clit, she came violently, shuddering and spasming around me as I slowed down. I wrapped my arm around her waist and held her up, feeling completely satisfied with myself that I'd managed to make her knees go weak.
"What the fuck was that about?" I asked, still struggling to catch my breath. I placed a chaste kiss on her neck and watched the smile spread across her face.
She shrugged. "Just felt like it. Thought it might be something you 'd like since you're such a horny shit."
I laughed. "You know me well, baby." I kissed her cheek and got off her. "So, what's for dinner?"
She straightened up and took a couple of wobbly steps, raising her eyebrows at me. "Well, I was making the sides to go with the pork roast in the oven, but I can hardly walk now, thanks."
I chuckled. "You attacked me first," I reminded her. "Let me get washed up and I'll help you."
She looked at me in astonishment. "You want to help?"
"Yeah. You can teach me how to cook. It's about time I learned."
She smiled excitedly at me. "Okay."
"Get dressed though. Please. I won't be able to stop myself from fucking you again if you don't," I warned her.
We got started on the asparagus first. I watched intently as Bella showed me how to snap them, letting them bend on their own in between my fingers to ensure that we got the freshest part. I helped her chop the onions and mince garlic while she worked on making a risotto.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, rolling my eyes as I saw 'Mansauce' pop up on the screen. He'd changed his name on my phone the other day as a joke, one that I thought was incredibly stupid. I'd just been too busy to change it back.
"What's up, Em?" I asked, holding the phone in between my shoulder and ear.
"Mom and Dad want to go."
I laughed. "Why?"
"Beats me. Mom wants to see Eli," he stoically. "I said it was fine. I figured if it wasn't, I'd let you be the one who could tell her. I'm sure as shit not going to do it."
"No, it's fine. But I still have to say something to Bella." She looked over at me, knitting her brows.
"You've been home for two hours, dude! What the hell?" His loud voice boomed in my ear.
"We've been otherwise occupied," I said cryptically.
Bella threw the asparagus in the pan, causing the loud sizzle to filter through the phone. "You're fucking cooking and you couldn't say anything to her?!" he yelled incredulously.
"Je la baisais sur la table, le trou du cul," I hissed, trying to be discreet so that Bella didn't get embarrassed.
"Oh, for fuck's sake!" he yelled. "You know my French sucks!"
"Not my fault you didn't pay attention when Esme made us learn!" I yelled back, grinning.
I listened to him think about it out loud, abruptly cutting himself off and laughing. "Nice! Call me later."
He hung up without another word so I turned back to Bella and watched her stir the risotto.
"Apparently the whole family would like to go with us next weekend. They're planning a trip to Vegas," I said with a smirk.
"Vegas?" she asked in confusion.
"Yeah. My idiot brother thinks we need a weekend of drunken debauchery to alleviate our stress about the whole Jane situation."
She bit down on her lip. "I've never been to Vegas."
"I know."
"Might be kind of nice," she said, smiling widely.
"So, it's fine?" She nodded. "Good. I'll call Emmett back later and let him know."
The alarm was tripped, suddenly sending the loud noise screeching through the house as the lights flashed in the front yard. Bella and I both jumped, startled, before I rushed to the front door and flung it open, only to see Jane fading away in the black distance.
"Don't fucking move!" I yelled at Bella, running to the bedroom to get the gun out of the nightstand drawer. "Lock the door until someone shows up!"
I ran back outside and sprinted in the direction she ran off to, making sure the safety was off on the gun in case I needed to use it. I searched for her for over an hour, combing my neighbors' backyards and checking any and every outdoor structure to see if any of them was locked, unable to find any trace of Jane.
"Fuck!" I yelled angrily. I must've gone the opposite way she did and lost her.
I ran back to the house to see that Aro's car as well as two other cruisers were parked in the street outside my house.
I went inside and looked around, searching for the idiot who was supposed to be watching outside. I finally spotted him, standing in the corner of the living room, looking around the room in horror.
I felt the rage flow uninhibitedly through my veins as I stormed over to him. He was supposed to be protecting the house that Bella and I shared--protecting my girl. If Jane had shown up three hours before, Bella would have been alone when this happened.
"What the fuck were you doing?" I screamed, rearing my fist back and slamming it into his face. "You were supposed to be watching the house!"
I could feel that I'd broken open one of the cuts from my earlier attack on the punching bag, but didn't care.
I pulled my arm back, intent on hitting him again, but instead felt myself being lifted away and restrained by the other cops there. I fought against them fruitlessly, knowing that there was no way I could out maneuver three well trained police officers.
"GET OFF ME!" I roared. "Get the fuck off! I'm not going to do it again!" They didn't budge.
Finally, I quit fighting against their hold when I ran out of breath. They let go of me and I rushed into the kitchen to find Bella.
"What the hell was going on in there?" she yelled at me as the tears streamed down her face.
"I lost my temper," I said calmly, even though I was still enraged. "I'm fine now." Aro lifted one of his brows, obviously knowing I was still nowhere near fine. "You'd better get another fucking cop over here to watch my house. One that won't be so easily distracted," I spat.
He nodded. "Mattingly's a rookie. He won't be back. And I'll make sure that from now on someone with experience is outside to guard the house since Jane seems to be getting desperate."
"She tried to break in, Edward." Bella took a shuddering breath. "We're not safe here anymore."
"Yes we are," I said sternly. "That alarm scared the piss out of her. She took off running and never managed to get through the deadbolt, much less even harm it." I took her face in my hands and kissed her fiercely. "We're fine, a ghrá."
She pulled back and looked at Aro. "How do I know Eli's safe? She...he..." She broke down into tears. "How do you know she hasn't found out where he is yet?"
Arogave her a comforting smile. "Bella, think about it. There's a gag order on that plane's flight plans for the next six months, keeping all information from being released to the public. The only way she could know about it is if she worked at the FAA, which she doesn't. And she can't even think about trying to find some way in, because they've been specifically told to look for her. She tried to come after the two of you, not Eli. He's perfectly safe."
She nodded and sat back down. "Sorry. I'm just a little freaked out right now."
"We all understand. It's to be expected." He stood up and put his jacket on. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure they've gotten any evidence she might have left ." He looked over at me. "If she's still in the neighborhood, we'll find her," he said confidently.
I nodded and thanked him before turning back to Bella. "I think Emmett was right. I think we could use that trip to Vegas."
I needed to either drink myself into oblivion or call my father for a prescription for Xanax, Valium, Lorazepam, Ativan--what the fuck ever--so that I didn't lose my God damned mind.
"What exactly did you do out there?" she asked hesitantly.
I ran my hand through my hair. "I hit the officer that was supposed to be watching the house," I said, cringing away from her response.
"You what?!" she screeched. "You can't go and hit someone whenever you feel like it!"
"Why the hell not?" I asked loudly, feeling my temper flare.
"Because we're adults!"
"He fucked up, Bella! You're not angry with him about it? Because I sure as hell am!" I yelled back at her.
"Yes, I'm angry. But you just assaulted a freaking police officer!" she screamed.
"Bella-" I cut myself off.
I could feel the blood pounding loudly behind my ears as the adrenaline pumped through my veins. I was so fucking pissed, my vision blurred. I looked around the room, focusing on the crystal vase that sat in the middle of the island. I reached over and grabbed it, blindly throwing it at the wall and watching it shatter into thousands of tiny pieces, scattering wildly across the floor.
"I can't take this shit anymore!" I shouted. "I'm supposed to put my fucking trust in those assholes that sit out there and watch the house and this is what happens! What if you would have been home alone? THEN WHAT?! He deserved more than just a fucking punch, Bella! He deserved to have the living fuck beat out of him!"
"What good are you to me if you're in jail!" she shrieked. "How are you supposed to do the one thing you so desperately want--to protect me--if you're locked up in the county jail?!"
I pinched my nose with my fingers. Fuck if she wasn't right. "Damn it," I said, clenching my teeth and trying to reign myself in. "I'm sorry. You're right. I won't let it happen again."
"Fine." Her voice was hard.
I dropped my hand and laughed bitterly as I looked at the scuffed paint on the wall. "We're fighting over my temper and here I am throwing shit at the wall. Great."
"We're not fighting." I raised my eyebrows questioningly. "Well, maybe for a minute there."
I scrubbed my face with my hands. "I am sorry. I'm just having a really bad day."
"It's okay," she said quietly. "We've got all this going on and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. It's bound to catch up with us every now and then."
"I know." I pulled her against me, kissing her hair. "Are you all right?"
She nodded. "What do you think she wanted?"
I sighed heavily. "I don't know."
******************************
Bella
The flight to Seattle was excruciatingly long. I bounced anxiously in my seat, ready to lay eyes on my son and know that he was perfectly safe and unharmed. That Jane hadn't found him; that our plan to keep him safe was working.
I knew it was completely irrational. I'd spoken to him over the phone yesterday and he was fine. Charlie knew of the attempted break-in Tuesday and had been keeping close tabs on Eli since. But it did nothing to ease the mounting terror that seemed to infuse its way into my lungs. My chest felt tight, my breathing was labored. I wasn't going to truly be able to breathe until I saw him.
Whatever mental break Edward had gone through on Tuesday seemed to help clear his mind. He'd managed to get all his frustrations out that day and seemed back to normal. Or as normal as we could be given the situation.
If I thought this would tear Edward and I apart, it seemed to be doing the exact opposite. We were changing, evolving, as we limped through this wholeordeal. She was bringing us closer together, even though we occasionally felt the strains of the situation on our relationship. We were permanently fused together now, unable to tear ourselves apart even if we tried. I loved him even more for his strength and intelligence, his courage and his willingness to do anything Aro asked of him.
We finally landed at Sea-Tac and I passed the cockpit, stopping as I saw Tyler print something out.
"What's that?" I asked, eyeing the paper curiously.
"Flight plan." He looked over and gave me a quick smile.
I nodded. "Hey, thanks for doing this. Again."
He rolled his eyes. "Bella, you thank me every weekend. If I weren't doing this for you and Cullen, I'd be doing it for someone else. No need to thank me for doing my job."
I bit my lip in uncertainty. I owed him so much more than I could ever give him. "Yeah. Okay."
"Are you coming, baby?" Edward called up the steps. "It's fucking pouring!"
Welcome to Seattle.
I laughed. "I'm coming."
I got off the plane and immediately put my hand in Edward's as the three of us made our way to the car rental counter. Jacob seemed resigned to the fact that Edward and I were together. It was almost as if he accepted it. I thought being around us so frequently, watching Edward's constant touches and kisses, would divide us. Instead, it seemed to unite us. We weren't going to let anything happen to Eli and were working together to ensure that it didn't.
We rented two cars and went to the hotel Jacob had reserved rooms at and checked in. I knocked on Charlie's door and saw a black blur come charging out of the room, past Charlie, and straight to me.
"Momma!" Eli squealed, hugging my legs tightly.
And just like that, I could breathe again.
"Hi, baby!" I said, extricating myself from his grasp and crouching down so that I could hug him properly. "I missed you! Did you have a good week?"
"Uh-huh! I got to go on a field trip!" he said excitedly.
"You did? Where did you go?" I asked with curiosity.
"To the police station! Grandpa Charlie showed my whole class around! We even got to go see the jail!"
"Wow, that's great!" I let him go and stood up.
He looked over at Edward and squealed again. "Edward!"
He launched himself at Edward, making Edward laugh wholeheartedly and scoop him up. "Hey, little man!"
"Edward! Guess what Grandpa Charlie bought for me?"
Edward deliberately widened his eyes. "I don't know. What?"
"He got me my Halloween costume!"
Edward playfully gaped at him. "What are you going to be?"
"Bumblebee!" he giggled.
"What happened to Spiderman?"
"He changed his mind," Charlie chimed in, annoyed. "He changed his mind twelve times. I've never seen anything like it."
Edward chuckled. "You hungry?" Eli nodded. "Let's go get your dad and then get something to eat. You'll have to bring your costume with you to our room so we can see it later."
"Okay!"
We got to Jacob's room and went through the entire greeting again, listening with huge smiles as Eli told his dad about the field trip and his Halloween costume. He chattered endlessly through dinner, telling us everything that had happened during the week in Forks. We finally made it back to the room and managed to quiet him down enough to be able to fall asleep ourselves. If I'd doubted at all that he was all right with Charlie and Billy, I didn't now.
******************************
"Trick or Treat!" Eli screamed over the other kids as the woman opened the door to what seemed like the hundredth house Eli had gone to.
I wearily laid my head on Edward's shoulder as we stood at the sidewalk and waited for him to come back. We'd been to one of the local farms, going through the pumpkin patch, corn maze, and petting zoo before watching him ride one of the ponies and the kiddie rides. My feet were aching and my back was killing me.
I breathed in the crisp, fall air and couldn't help but wonder...where did summer go?
Edward chuckled and pressed his lips to my forehead. "You doing okay there, baby?"
"No," I whined. "I want to go back to the hotel."
"Well, let's finish the block and then we can take him back," he suggested.
"Eli said something about going to the little haunted house they've got for kids," Jacob interrupted.
"Ah, hell. I forgot about that," I groaned.
Eli came running up to us with his bag held high. "Look, Momma! That lady gave me a cookie!"
I took the saran wrapped cookie and threw it in the trash as we walked by. "We don't eat anything these people give you unless it's been bought at the store. It's not safe, baby."
He frowned. "Okay."
"If you want a cookie, let's go back to the hotel and get you one." I bit my lip, waiting hopefully for his answer.
"They have cookies?" I nodded. "Yay!"
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Back to the hotel."
We got back to the hotel and let Eli tell Jacob goodnight before heading up to our room. Edward immediately ordered room service--including Eli's cookie--as Eli and I sat down on the floor and started going through his bag.
"Wow, look at all that candy!" I said excitedly.
"Momma? Can I eat some?"
"Nope. Not until after dinner. Then you can have one piece before bed and that's it." I glanced at the clock. "It's already almost eight."
"But, I want a Reese's. And some M & M's. And aminal crackers! Ooh! And this, too!" he said, holding up a Snickers bar.
"You can pick one tonight and then you can have more after breakfast tomorrow," I said sternly.
"Mom!" he groaned.
"Mom, nothing. I'm not staying up all night because you ate too much sugar and can't fall asleep," I said with a wide grin.
Edward's phone started chirping in his pocket. I looked over at him as he pulled it out and watched him roll his eyes and put it back in his pocket.
I looked at him in confusion. "Who was that?"
"Tanya."
My brows furrowed. "Since when did you not answer her calls?"
"Since now," he smirked. "I just didn't feel like talking to her. I'd rather spend my night with the two of you."
"Oh."
I thought back to the last time I saw Tanya and realized it was over two months ago, when I had lunch with Esme.
Suddenly, the image of Tanya glancing over towards the door as she spoke to us flashed in my mind, causing me to gasp. The brunette that was standing there waiting for her was the woman who had her hands on Eli that day at the restaurant--Jane.
"Holy shit!" I yelled, standing up quickly. "I know where I recognized Jane from!"
Edward rushed over to me. "What? Where did you see her?"
I stared directly into his eyes, feeling the anger boil inside me. "She was at the restaurant that day I had lunch with your mother. She was with Tanya."
*~*
Je la baisais sur la table, le trou du cul--I was fucking her on the table, asshole. Baiser literally means kiss but is slang for fuck.
Animal is deliberately spelled wrong ;) My oldest said aminal until she was almost 7.
