Chapter 29
Sira couldn't breathe when she and Scabior arrived on the doorstep of Cal's house. Her body was weak in his arms as he opened the door and coaxed her inside. She gasped as her body started to tremble with her thoughts. Anastasia's face flashed before her eyes, just before she murdered her. "It's okay, Sira," Scabior breathed as her body went slack in his arms, threatening to fall to the floor. He supported her; he would never let her fall. Tears of grief, of loss streamed down her cheeks, she couldn't believe what she had done, not only to Anastasia, but to the whole world. There was no doubting it though.
He carried her through the house to the bedroom which she stayed in. He entered the room with her still in his arms. As her tears continued to fall, he led her over to the bed and sat her down gently on the edge. He sat beside her, his eyes full of concern as he stroked her hair and another sob rattled her body. "Sira, beautiful," he whispered as he turned her head so she had to gaze at him, "will you tell me what 'appened?"
"After you and C-Cal left, Anastasia s-stepped forward and she asked me why I am like this. She believed that s-she could change me," Sira wheezed as she relived the moments before Anastasia's death. "I told her that I couldn't be c-changed, that nothing could be done f-for me. Except, she wouldn't believe it and then, she s-started to say how I needed to a-accept the past. I got so angry, Scabior, and I killed her. I murdered my best friend." She fell into his chest, clutching the front of his shirt as another sob shook her body.
She hadn't felt like she did now since she and Sirius separated to sort out their feelings. The feeling of that the tears would never stop, the feeling that she would never be the same and the feeling of guilt consumed her. Scabior pulled her close as she continued to bury her face in his shirt. All he wanted was for her to stop crying, to stop suffering. It hurt him to see her suffer but he knew how she felt. He never did tell her his entire past for he was afraid that she would be disgusted with him, but he felt that now was not the time. It was not the time to tell her that he, too, had killed his friend.
It was after his parents disowned him and kicked him out of the house to live on the streets. He and his friends darted through a dark alley with fear and exhilaration in their eyes. They had just broken into and robbed some muggle's home and now raced away from the scene of their crime. Suddenly, they came to an abrupt halt. One of his friends, Jace, smiled at him mischievously and with a glint of bloodlust in his hazel eyes. He strode over to Scabior with a swagger in his step. He placed his hand on his shoulder and gazed into his eyes. "Aren't you glad that you ditched your parents?" Jace asked in a growl.
"'ell, yeah, I am," Scabior said rapidly.
"We're glad that you finally came to the right side," Jace snarled. "Purebloods don't have to act the way they do and we're living proof of it." Scabior nodded. Jace was his best friend when he went to Hogwarts and Jace was the leader of their gang. Scabior secretly wanted to be the leader though; he wanted to have the power Jace had. Jace walked away from him a few paces and turned to face him. "Do you remember how we always wanted to duel each other?" Jace asked cockily, "but we weren't able to duel like we wanted to?"
Scabior knew what he meant as they drew their wands, they had always dreamed of dueling with Unforgivable Curses. "I remember it like it was yesterday, Jace," Scabior said loudly, his voice rich with his accent as it filled the night. Jace nodded and gave him a cruel smile.
They bowed low to each other and then aimed their wands at each other's heart. Scabior's heart beat loudly with his excitement, he wanted to make the first move but he knew that he needed to wait for the time when Jace was vulnerable. A blast of light hurled itself towards him and he blocked it easily. Their wands flashed like swords, lighting up the dark alley with random flashes. Their duel was fierce and blood-thirsty but no Unforgivable Curses were used… at least not yet.
"Crucio," Jace barked. The spell hit Scabior dead in the chest, causing him to fall back as his body convulsed with pain. He cried out, he couldn't help it. Jace cackled with laughter and broke the curse. "Can't take a little pain, Scabior?" he asked viciously. "Are you that weak?"
Wrath flared in his chest as Jace continued to laugh at him. Way to kick a man while 'e's down, Scabior told himself. He glared at Jace maliciously, he was his friend and now, he treated him like trash.
"Avada Kedarva!" Scabior barked as Jace's eyes filled with horror. He fell back to the earth, seeming to take ages to finally hit the ground. He couldn't believe he just did that, he didn't know why he just did that. "Jace!" Scabior bellowed as he stood and rushed over to the body of his fallen friend. The others backed away slowly from the scene, vanishing into the night.
Scabior sank to his knees in that dark alley, kneeling beside his friend's lifeless body. He studied it; he had just taken a life, more importantly, the life of his friend. "Jace," he breathed with shock in his eyes. "Jace, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… I didn't mean to…" His friend had just been standing before him, alive and well. Now, he lay in that alley, dead.
Terror overwhelmed him as he stood and turned. Not knowing what he was doing or where he was going, he ran. Jace's last words rang in his head. Can't take a little pain, Scabior? Are you that weak? The words drove him on, forcing him to race through the streets. He couldn't clear his head. Memories of him and Jace at Hogwarts flashed through his mind. He couldn't take it and he vanished into the darkness that surrounded him.
"Sira," he breathed as he made his decision to tell her for it would help her, "I know 'ow you feel." She lifted her eyes, gazing directly into his face as her tears continued to fall. "I killed one of my friends too, 'cause 'e made me angry. 'e told me that I was weak and that I couldn't take any pain. I didn't mean to do it, it just 'appened."
"Oh, Scabior," she whispered.
"But it's okay now, lovely," he sighed, "'cause I accepted my mistake. It was the only thing that I could do 'bout it and that's what you're going to 'ave to do."
"What if I can't" she asked as she sighed with her remorse. "What If I won't accept it like I won't accept the rest of my past?" He ran his fingers through her hair as he gazed at her devotedly.
"I'll 'elp you, beautiful, like I always 'ave," he said gently. "I'll never let you fall; I'll never let you suffer. I'll 'elp you become the girl you want to be."
"What if I don't know who I want to be?" she asked and another sob broke out of her chest. "I'm a completely different person than I thought I was."
"I'll 'elp you find who you are," he whispered truthfully, "and who you want to be. You're the only on that I want to spend the rest of my life with, Sira," he brushed some of her hair out of her face as her eyes filled with passion, "I want to spend forever with you 'cause you make me forget, you make me feel, and you heal me. You heal the wounds of my past, beautiful. I love you and I'll forever love you. I long for you and I need you." He gazed into her blue eyes as sweet desire filled him. "Sira, will you marry me?"
"Oh, Scabior," she sighed as her eyes glittered with joy but the tears still rolled down her beautiful face. She touched his face with her fingertips. Her answer was in her eyes and she smiled a sweet but sad smile at him. "Yes," she panted as she wrapped her arms around his neck, "yes." Her heart wanted to burst with her emotions as they held each other close. They would never left each other go, they couldn't let go. He needed her and she needed him.
