Chapter 28: Fear.

"You know what I think?" Gale murmurs, planting another kiss to my lips.

"Mmmm?"

"That we-" my boyfriend rolls over on top of me, hooking my leg around his waist. "-should just stay in bed-" A small mischievous smirk worms its way onto his face as he bends down to brush his lips across my jaw, whispering, "-all day." With that he pulls me into another spell-bounding kiss which I unfortunately have to cut short.

"Gale," I moan, pushing him back by the hand on his chest. I sigh, shaking my head. "We can't. We have the interviews to prep for."

"Screw it," he mutters, trailing kisses down my neck.

Closing my eyes briefly at the glorious sensation I attempt to continue with my half-hearted convincing. Unfortunately though I don't think I'm getting anywhere. I have to admit the prospect of spending an extra day together before being thrown in front of Caesar Filckerman then the games is sounding more than a little tempting. Already I can feel the last of my resistance slipping away. "You need to learn how to walk a-and, talk, and do...stuff. We also need to figure out what angle you're playing for the-for the interviews. Gale?"

"Mmmm." He presses his body tightly to mine, nipping at a spot on my neck before traveling back up. "Stop talking," he mumbles huskily right as his lips find mine.

I'm pulled once more into his alluring trance. The fight in me forcing itself out the second I feel his lips mold to mine. Before I know it I'm returning the kiss with just as much passion as he. My nails lightly scratch down his bare back, round his side, sliding over his abs and up his chest. My actions award me a noticeable shiver as I find my fingers tangling through the man's dark locks.

His own hand grip's my hip, rubbing small circles over the skin while the other one gently cradles my neck, tilting my head back for a better angle to deepen the already intense kiss. I moan softly into Gale's mouth-

"Katniss!" A loud bang sounds against the door.

Gale groans, nibbling on my bottom lip in warning, and mumbling, "Don't answer."

Ignoring his advice I lightly push his head to the side, calling back to the boy with the bread. "Yes, Peeta!?"

Not even the slightest bit discouraged Gale sucks on a spot on my neck.

"Oh, um, can I come in?"

"No!" I shout a bit too quickly. "I mean no. Not right now. I'm changing. Is there something you need?" I let out a sharp hiss as Gale bites at the now sensitive skin before pulling back to admire the number he did just below my jaw with a smirk on his face. In return I glare at him, knowing exactly what's now on my neck. I open my mouth to snap at him but his lips are smothering mine again, cutting off any response I previously had.

"Uh, yeah, actually, there is." Peeta's voice is but a distance noise in the background as I give in to kissing Gale. Nevertheless I tune in. Although, I'm quickly finding it hard to do without getting distracted to the point where I block him out completely. "I'm kinda here as a wakeup call. We were supposed to start prepping an hour ago but you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you. I think now though Effie is beginning to catch on to the fact that we haven't started yet, so…"

Breathing heavily I push Gale back just enough to reply, "O-okay. G-give me a…minute."

Anything Peeta says after that is thrown to the wind as my boyfriend's lips devour mine once more.

"We should start getting ready," he suggests through our kisses. "Which means-" I resist the urge to scream as Gale suddenly picks me up, my legs clinging around his waist. He gives me a kiss on the check as he makes his way to the bathroom with me in tow. "- a shower."

Typical.


Never have I ever had this kind of migraine until now. It's like a wadded, tangled, clump of shit had just flown into my brain and started pouncing around like no tomorrow.

The arena would be better than this.

I groan, rubbing my face with my hands roughly and slumping down on the fabricated couch.

"Okay, let's try this again," Peeta states, his patience slowly trickling out. "I'm going to ask you a question and you're going to answer in the way we talked about, got it? Now, Gale, what does it feel like to be the cousin of one of the Capitol's very own star-crossed lovers?"

Gale grits his teeth, staring daggers at the boy with the bread. "Just peachy!"

Peeta lets out an aggravated breath of air before turning to me, reading off another question from the paper in hand. "Katniss, how do you feel about your most beloved cousin here in the Capitol going into the arena with you?"

I smile fakely, "Well, it's definitely…hard. Um-"

"Hard? Really Katniss?" the baker cuts me off. "Your cousin is being sent to the death along with you and it's just 'hard'. No, it's devastating, emotional, heart-wrenching, I don't know…something. Use some passion in your answer like you do when you're answering about Prim! And you're not supposed to smile whether it be fake or not!"

"What do you expect her to say?" Gale snaps. "You can't force a feeling. We're not actually related so how is she supposed to know how to feel?"

"Yes, thank you for pointing out the obvious for the millionth time. Look, I'm just saying she needs to brush up on her acting skills. If it's hard to say how she feels if you were her cousin then I think she should imagine she's talking about Prim instead of you."

"I already tried that," I inform with a defeated sigh. "It doesn't work. In fact, it makes my response sound awkward and…like total bull. Prim is too…different."

"Then I guess we'll have to come up with some sort of line, so if a question about you two being related comes up you'll know exactly what to say. What we really need to focus on is emotion. Making the audience believe."

"I hate to say this but it's needed-don't you think Haymitch would be better help for this interview crap?" Gale suggests.

"He's not here. He disappeared this morning and left me in charge."

"Okay." I gesture towards Peeta. "Moving on from the cousin questions since obviously we can't answer them correctly. What are our angles?"

The boy with the bread glances down at the hand-written paper Hyamitch gave to him before replying, "Now, that, I can answer. Gale, you're playing the dark, strong, brooding part, but we want you to open up a bit in the interviews to let the Capitol get a feel for you. It says here though not to give too much away because you still want to have that hint of mystery. Katniss, you're-"

"The sweet, innocent, girl in love?" I guess.

"Not sweet and innocent. Go for a bit dark like Gale. But keep the love and express sadness about going back into the games. You're still head-over-heels for me. Nothing's changed on that part."

"Of course not."

The shrill ringing of the timer goes off forcing Peeta to reach over and stop it. "That's it. We're half-way done until I'm handing you over to Effie." He stands, stretching out his back a bit. "Do you guys want anything? I'm going to get a snack."

A chorus of 'no's' sounds from Gale and I. With a nod Peeta departs, closing the door on his way out.

I sigh, scooting over to the hunter and taking his hand in mine.

"I hate being cousins."

"I know," I reply softly.

"It's stupid."

"I know. But it's just a three minute interview then you're done."

Gale doesn't respond. Instead he stares off at a faraway spot somewhere in the room. I let the comfortable silence take over, leaning my head against his shoulder as we both leave each other to our own thoughts for a while.

"I'm scared Katniss," Gale whispers after a minute or two.

I lift my head, looking to him with a small frown. He turns to me also and the look in his eyes are so startling, so heartbreaking I want to cry. To hold him and run and leave and never come back, because for the first time in a long, long time I see fear in Gale Hawthorne's eyes. "What?"

He gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "Going into the games…I'm scared."

I hesitate, opening my mouth to reply until finally all comes tumbling out. "I'm scared too."

Two words. Words I thought in a million years I'd never hear. Yet, here I am, in the Capitol with Gale Hawthorne, the man I utterly love more than anything else in the world. Who is strong, loving, passionate, plus so much more-telling me he's frightened.

And that's all I need. That's all we need. A confession of our fears to the uncertainty. Because even though we are scared we both know that whatever happens we're in it together.

Even though we're scared-we will fight. Together. And we will go down if forced upon. Together. Because we have so much to lose and yet all we need is each other to get through it all.


I'm a spiting ball of nerves. I have buried myself so deep within my conflicting ideas that with every sound, every touch-makes me jump out of my skin. One thought has been swirling around in my mind since prepping and although it's not the most dangerous one, it still holds the power to cause hazardous outcomes.

On the other hand I've had so many mess-ups and fumbles that fixing one thing I've caused which another has been suffering from might just be the only and best thing I can do right now without getting murdered on the spot.

Even though I've been told time and time again not to make this kind of reckless decision some things need to be broken, especially for the people I love. Breaking rules may have gotten me here but today it could someone else out of their own mental frustration created by my mistakes and that's enough to last a lifetime.

I let out a large breath, my knees bouncing relentlessly in anxiety, hands constantly drumming the sides of the heavy wedding dress. "You okay?" Gale whispers from behind, lightly brushing his hand against my back in discreet comfort.

"Yeah," I assure, praying he doesn't catch onto any suspicious behavior. Knowing Gale though it wouldn't be any surprise if he sees right through my façade. "Just nervous."

If he had a reply it was quickly thrown away at the sound of Caesar Flickerman's booming voice rushing across the crowded theater. He makes a speech, gives his greetings, then before I know it is gearing up to present us.

"Ladies and Gentlemen without further ado may I give you the tributes of the 75th Hunger Games!"

Deafening applause is forced upon us as we all file on stage with shinning smiles. The stage lights, like always, blind me with their pure white rays. It takes my eyes seconds to adjust but it gives my hunter side a mini panic attack nevertheless once the ability of sight is stolen for a few moments.

I shakily take a seat at my assigned spot, making sure to squeeze Gale's hand on the shared armrest, more for my benefit than his.

Time seems to slow but go all too quickly at the same time. I did happen to notice a few things about most of the interviews. Almost every one of them had the same little finishing…touch.

Cashmere mused about how the Capitol people must be feeling with all their victors dying. Her husband, Tate, talked about how the two of them had dreams of visiting this place on vacation but now will never get the opportunity. Finnick read aloud a poem he wrote to his one true love. Johanna…well expressed her grievances about these games in a…unique way. Seeder questioned the power of President Snow. And finally the one who surprised me the most-Meldon. He went down memory lane. Speaking about the good times he's had in his short life, how Seeder has been such a great mother even if he hasn't been the best son, and that he can't begin to imagine how his father must be going through all this alone.

By the time he was finished the crowd was weeping and Seeder-tears filling her eyes-was ready to burst with pride.

All too soon it was my turn.

"And now…can we get a round of applause." Drums beat over the loud speakers as Caesar pauses. "For Miss Katniss Everdeen!"

I'm sure the roaring of the crowd could be heard from home and it only became more intense when they set eyes on my wedding dress. Caesar had a pained smile as he took my hand. Without permission he spun me, jumping back as my grown began to go up in smokes.

Cinna had told me not to twirl until the end but it's too late now.

The rising smoke engulfs me as I continue to spin without the help of the host. My dress slowly disintegrates to ashes, taking the heavy weight off my shoulders and revealing a whole new outfit which is no doubt better than the previous.

"It's a-it's a-" Caeser touches the flap of my wing gently.

"Mockingjay," I answer for him. "It's a Mockingjay."

The audience goes wild.

"How about that," he states, amazement lacing his words. Shaking his head in dismissal a second later he calms the vicious crowd, kindly gesturing for me to take a seat. "Katniss, I must say that was quite an entrance! Very unexpected! Let's give it up for her stylist! Cinna!"

The camera pans over to him as he gives a small nod before returning to me.

With a light-hearted chuckle Caesar continues, "So, talking about what you were wearing…that was a beautiful gown."

"Yes," I muse. "It was supposed to be my wedding dress. Worn on the happiest day of my life…but I'm afraid that time will never come for obvious reasons. I just wish it didn't have to be this way."

The Capitol people's sobs are about ready to burst my eardrums out. It's almost creepy how genuine my words sounded.

Caesar frowns, patting my hand in comfort. "I can only imagine what your last moments with Peeta will be like. It must be very emotional between you two these past few days?" Though it was statement it came out more quizzical.

It's now my acting skills begin to crack slightly. Whenever subjects like this are brought up I'm not the best at describing my feelings, much less fake ones. So, I do what I always do. Steer away from the question. "Unfortunately, I've had to leave my family twice in the past two years, both times not knowing if I'll ever come back alive. I guess I'm used to saying goodbye by now except…this time I have Peeta. And I know it'll make this parting near impossible."

The audience once more screams out in pain, as if it's their agony in which they must live through.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Speaking of family though…I understand you came here with your cousin, Gale Hawthorne. How has that experience been?"

I hesitate, my mind splitting into a million pieces, going every which direction. At this moment I don't know what's right or what's wrong. Instead, without thought, I let whatever instinctive words fall from my lips and flow out to Panem.

"Ahh, yes," I respond lightly, looking down in what seems to be a little bashful. "That."

"That?" Caesar questions, leaning forward in interest. "What's that?"

I fiddle with my hands nervously. "You see…Gale and I aren't actually cousins."

You could hear a pin drop by the silence which had immediately laid over the entire theater.

Even Caesar himself was speechless, his mouth hung open. "Not cousins?" he confirms slowly, attempting to process the information. "How so?"

"Well, the rumor that Gale and I are related is a lie. It was made up. I've never acknowledged, to anyone, that we've shared blood before. When I got back from my games I hadn't known that piece of information got around. I heard a few whispers, some rumors that we were supposedly "cousins", but that's all they were at the time-rumors. Then the Victory Tour came and I found that people believed this. I brushed it off though, not knowing the full weight of our situation. I don't watch T.V. much so I never fully grasped that to everyone this was a "fact" to them. I'm quite out of the loop sometimes. Anyway, I never thought someone would take it seriously until…"

"Until…?"

"Until the Quarter Quell was announced." People seem to have gained their senses, murmurs flying around the room. All ceases when I begin to speak again. "I was told, shortly after, that the males of the Hawthorne family were to attend, posing as options in the reaping. I did everything I could to stop it. Explained to some people in the Capitol that we weren't related, offered to take a blood test as proof, I even went to President Snow, but he declined. Said it makes for a good show. The own ruler of Panem lied. He knew we shared no such family and, yet, he let a man-who did not qualify for the reaping in this Quarter Quell- go into the games not even for me-but with me. Now, what does that say?"

Without further words, the buzzer goes off.

Caesar gathers his bearings, standing with me, and speaking into the microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen…Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire."

The applause was nothing of unexpected. Giant, piercing, over the top. I don't know what they were cheering for. Maybe out of amazement, for my "bravery" to have let that all out, or because they're still obsessed with me. Who knows?

I walk back to my seat, leaving behind Caesar who's announcing the next tribute. While passing Gale we exchange looks, too quick to see what he's feeling, but not too fast for me to see that he knows what he must do since I've given away that piece of information.

He has to open up. Make the crowd love him. Sympathize with him more than they already do. I altered my angle for these interviews, now he has to change his.

Sitting, I pull all my focus onto the handsome man on stage with the Capitol host.

"So, Gale." Caesar leans back in his chair, examining my boyfriend after greeting him. "What with that new enlightenment from Miss Everdeen do you mind if I start with asking you to elaborate on the situation?"

Gale motions for him to continue, a smirk on his face which makes all the women in the room swoon. "By all means. Go ahead. I'm just glad the truth is out."

"Let's start with how you're cooping with going into the games."

"Well, to point out it's not fair, one. Two, you can never be ready with going into the arena no matter your skill level, but I will be by Katniss' side, protecting her at all costs even though I know she doesn't truly need me. She's strong and fierce enough to take care of herself, but that doesn't mean we'll be on opposite sides. Besides, we can't afford to both go down. Our families need us."

"And, may I ask, what is your relationship with Miss Everdeen?"

This time a hint of a genuine grin peeks at the corners of his mouth, but he quickly conceals it with a charming smile he used to give all the girls in District 12. "She's my best friend," he answers quietly. "I don't know what I'd do without her. No, that's a lie. I wouldn't have a criminal record. She's got into so much shit that I've had to pull her out from. You wouldn't believe how many times I've had to-well...that's a secret." He winks teasingly which just about sends the audience over the edge. The desire could be pumping off of them in waves.

Meanwhile the camera pans over to me, seeking my reaction to Gale's little jabs in which I return with a polite smile and middle finger towards the man himself. Everyone goes wild at my response, loving our small cometic banter.

Caesar himself seems amused as he says, "All right. Let's tone it down a bit. We've lost some time with all our cheering. Now, I have a very serious question to ask you Gale. It's one we've all been dying to know."

"What's that?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

He falters. Only for a split second. So quick I guarantee no one saw it but me and that's only because we've known each other for so long we practically know one another's next move in almost every situation. If possible I can imagine his eyes flickering up to mine.

I know he wants to glance back at me but that's too suspicious.

Peeta never coached him on what to say if this question came up. It was all just about how we were to act if we were related since that was the area we needed the most help.

Gale beams as if flashing back on the best memories in his life. "Actually, yes, Caesar, I do."

What?

I can see the gears turning in his head and I can't tell if I like what he's thinking. He wouldn't do it. He couldn't possibly…no. I know Gale. He wouldn't reveal anything too important. He knows President Snow is still watching. Saying he has a girlfriend isn't confirmation enough for our relationship. It simply shows that he's playing the game. It may even throw the President off track a little.

"Really?" Caesar inquires with a raised eyebrow and a sneaking smile. "Tell me about her."

Before Gale could reply the buzzer sounds, ending his interview. My boyfriend stands with a smirk, shaking the host's hand. "Maybe next time."