Hermione awoke with a start. She rubbed a hand across her face and tried to keep the tears at bay. It had been years since the memory of her torture haunted her sleep. And though the dreams placed her on the floor in Malfoy Manor, and made her relive every cut, and scream, it was not the torture that was haunting her. No, she was reliving the memory in a way she had never seen before, and most nights when she was awoken from it she wondered if it had been real, and only now was able to take the memory and look at it in detail without it causing her to much strain, or if her guilt was concocting it's own brand of torture on her.

In the dream she remembers the look Draco gave them as he was brought to identify Harry. There was nothing he could do to lie about Ron and herself, their identities already discovered, unlike Harry who's face was altered due to her jinx, making anyone doubt if it was truly him or not. His eyes hadn't lingered on them long, but looking back on it Hermione seems to remember how defeated he looked.

She remembers withering on the floor, tears blurring her vision, and as shouts were made to get the goblin, she remembers seeing Draco through the tears. His skin sickly pale, jaw clenched, his mother's hand on his shoulder and his eyes never leaving her figure. The dwarf that was brought into the room took the attention off of her, if only for awhile. She watches as a black strand of hair falls onto her sleeve, and then she sees past that. There Draco is leaning against the table his mother's hand off his shoulder, and he looks as though he is trying hard not to be sick.

She wonders if she should purchase a pensieve, the thought is fleeting. Though she has been feeling guilty, she fights with herself. Still trying to defend her actions, and prove that she is right. Though she won't admit it aloud, she knows she has been fighting a losing battle. She wonders if it is a misplaced sense of pride that keeps her from admitting defeat.

She gathered up the courage this afternoon and made her way to a familiar bookshop, her heart pounding in her chest not sure what it is exactly that she expects to happen, not sure what she really wants to happen. Stepping though the door and into the room makes her breathe a sigh of relief, she can't help but feel comforted in the familiar setting.

"Hello dear." A kind voice greets her, and for a moment she forgets why she neglected the store for so long. "It's a pleasure seeing you, I was wondering where you've been." Hermione utters something about work, and quickly snaps her mouth shut before she says anymore. "Well, seems you're not the only one that has been kept away, Draco hasn't been in for a while either." Agatha states. "I wonder how he's doing." She continues, giving Hermione a look. Hermione fumbles an excuse, she can't help but feel her heart drop, and before she walks away from Agatha's knowing stare, she gives a smile which she is certain came out looking more like a grimace. She makes her way to the back shelf pulled a book and found herself going to a familiar bench.

She can't bring herself to sit on it, it suddenly looks far to big for just herself, and she feels a dull ache in her chest. She moves away, letting her feet lead her to another part of the store, soon enough she finds herself up stairs, and walking in a familiar aisle and once again her mind is else where. She purchased the book and left as quickly as she could, being in the store doesn't seem right, at least, alone it doesn't seem right.


Hermione continued on, though she was an absolute mess. She was determined to not let her personal life affect her work. Harry had kept his distance from her, while Ron made it a point to stop by and say a quick hello, not even knowing anything has been amiss. It has been two days since she had seen Ginny, one day since her failed attempt to reacquaint herself with the book store, and today was her last day of work before the weekend. She had originally planned to leave on time, however decided there was absolutely no reason to be home so early and continued to work. When she finally made her way out there was only a few people scattered about, the rush if people trying to leave had died down. So, it was a complete shock when she felt herself colliding into another person.

"If I didn't know any better I would think you do it on purpose." Her eyes met a handsome face with a charming smile.

"Hello Zabini, are you certain it isn't you who keeps bumping into me?"

"I figured with it being late I wouldn't have to pay as much attention to where I was going, there is hardly anyone here around this time. I can see that you've been busy, I was almost certain that you were avoiding me. I mean, who of their own free will would be willing to stay at work when they can start the weekend as soon as possible. I hope you haven't been overworking yourself." Hermione stayed silent. "Any plans for the weekend."

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Would you care to join me for tea or dinner? I was about to head out and get something on my own, but if you are free and have no prior engagements I would enjoy the company." Hermione wanted to say no, that she didn't want to deal with his meddling, because she was certain that that was exactly what he was trying to do. But the thought if eating alone was unappealing, and she really did not want to go home, Crookshanks had been aware if her mood and had been avoiding her, so even though she wasn't really alone, she still felt very lonesome.

"Alright," the word came out cautiously, "what do you have in mind?"

"Do you feel like anything in particular? If not I have this perfect muggle restaurant in mind." Hermione agreed and once again found herself walking next to Blaise.

She had to admit sitting across from Blaise was an oddly comforting thing. He kept the talk nice, and light, and made no mention of his friend, whom she had been avoiding. Each time she wanted to ask about him she clenched her jaw, refusing to ask about him.

"Doesn't your jaw hurt from doing that?" Hermione let her jaw relax, as soon as she did she felt the pain that she had caused and rubbed her jaw to release the tension. "Yeah, I don't think you should be doing that anymore." Blaise teases while Hermione remains quite. As dinner finished Hermione was certain that she would be free of any unwanted conversation. "I have to admit I am surprised you made it this far without asking about Draco." Blaise said as he quickly paid for dinner before the bill had even been placed down on the table. Hermione was unsure what to say. Blaise is silent for a moment, his eyebrows knit together and his lip purse, Hermione can't help but turn her head in confusion, a look like that is never seen marring the handsome face of his. He continues before Hermione has time to speak.

"I won't push you if that's what your thinking. Draco is one of my best mates, however, I quite enjoy your friendship too, and I won't lie about the fact that I was hurt by the way you have been ignoring me. The only thing, and I promise will be the last time I speak of this particular situation, is that neither of you seem like you have been any sort of happy since you stopped being friends. Now, please," Blaise stated putting a hand to stop Hermione's interruption. "I am sure you are absolutely fine," Blaise said taking her lie from her mouth, "I just wanted to leave my thoughts with you. I really enjoyed our last meeting, it's not everyday I have a conversation with a Gryffindor that I actually enjoy, and I hope through everything we can be friends without anything holding you back. Have a good evening Miss. Granger." With that Blaise elegantly made his leave and Hermione felt one of the already weak strands of pride break, all this meeting caused her was more guilt to settle in the pit of her stomach, and her heart to ache a little more.


Hermione had made it home and tried to calm herself, she nearly had a heart attack when her fireplace flared up only for Ginny to be Floo calling her, inviting her over for tea for the next day. After another rough evening Hermione found herself trying to calm her nerves by taking a soothing bath, which did nothing to sooth her, putting on some makeup, which did little to hide the bags under her eyes. As though she was in a haze she soon found her sitting at the kitchen table at Grimmauld Place.

She sat tapping her finger on the side of her tea cup. Ginny was making polite conversation, asking how she had been since they had last seen only three days prior. Hermione did her best to not raise suspicion, her eyes glancing over to Harry who sat reading the Daily Prophet. Ginny chattered on moving about the kitchen, and in the moments when Ginny was turned away Harry and Hermione where sat having a silent staring match.

"I had to send Kreacher to get biscuits, I like to make tea on my own and he always fights with me about it." She said as she continued to bustle about. Hermione glared at Harry.

"Stop it." She hissed. Harry merely shook his head no. "What then?" She whispered then smiled to Ginny trying to make it seem as though there was nothing wrong.

"Ginny, didn't your mum have something for you to give to Hermione?" Harry asked looking towards his girlfriend.

"Oh, I nearly forgot." The red headed beauty gasped. "I'll go get it. Do you remember where I put it?" She asked Harry.

"Didn't you take it to the bedroom?" Harry asked.

"I'll go check." With that Ginny was out of the room.

"What do you want?" Hermione said in a low voice.

"Did you solve your problem?" Harry responded.

"You're the only one here that thinks I have a problem."

"I'll take that as a no then."

"You're insufferable, besides this is none of your business." She said with a huff.

"Ginny told me everything you know." Hermione scoffed.

"Course she did." Hermione responded. "Not that I would expect her to keep it from you." She finished, not wanting Harry to think that she wanted Ginny to keep it a secret; firm believer herself that there could be very little secrets kept between significant others.

"It's not in the bedroom Harry!" Ginny yelled.

"Did you check the library?" Harry called back.

"What do you want me to do Harry, just forgive him as though it never happened?" Hermione said taking a sip of her tea.

"You do that with Ron all the time." Hermione nearly choked on the tea she had just sipped.

"That's different." She defended. Harry gave her a look.

"Don't give me that, besides I thought you hated Malfoy." Harry shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't hate him. I'm indifferent." He said rapping his knuckles against the table.

"Ha, you expect me to believe that?" Harry gave her another look. "Oh and when did this happen?" Harry shrugged his shoulders again.

"Probably when he didn't rat me out after I nearly killed him sixth year, or maybe when I saw him lower his wand when Dumbledore offered to help him. Had the Death Eaters not arrived when they did, I think he would have changed sides. Or maybe it was when he didn't rat us out at the manor." Hermione glared at him before she looked down into her empty teacup and at the tea dregs; oddly enough it looked like a tree with drooping branches.

"It was in the study Harry on the desk, weren't you just in there before Hermione came over." Ginny said handing a book to Hermione.

"Must have slipped my mind." Harry said to his girlfriend before taking a drink from his cup.

"Mum found this while cleaning, and thought you would be happy to have it back." Hermione looked down at the book Malfoy had sent her during Christmas, having long forgotten that she never took it back from Ron. She looked up from the book and her eyes locked with Harry's as he peered over his teacup. She knew he wanted her to do something, she just had no idea what it was he expected from her, and worse she had no idea what she expected from herself.


A/N: It. Took a while to edit this chapter, originally this chapter started off with the staring match between Harry and Hermione, but Blaise wanted to be worked in so I tried to add this longer dinner scene, but He wasn't cooperating and it wasn't working. For on e he had little to say, but I think he got his point across.

Plus work and person life has been really beating me down lately, just when you break the surface a wave knocks you back into the water. To be honest all I have been wanting to do is just lay in bed and do nothing, quite depressing I know, but the way I have been emotionally feeling has been killing my enthusiasm to do anything. I know things will get better but right now I am not happy with the direction my life is in, just a little longer till things start to turn up, and until then I must strive on. Thanks for letting me vent a little if you took the time to read this. Please know that even though life might make you feel your absolute worst you are loved, wanted, and needed, that's how I get by ^.^

Till next time, in the final chapter, Happy Readings.