Phantom Families

Alfred thinks he's pregnant.

Rated T.

Human AU.

~o~

"Ivan! Ivan, wake up!"

The Russian startled awake with a jolt, instantly sitting up at hearing his lover's distressed calling. "Chto- what is wrong?" His head whirled around trying to locate any murderer or burglar. Once he deemed the area void of any intruders, his purple hues wandered over towards Alfred's panicked expression.

"Ivan, I think I'm pregnant!"

Those words turned Ivan's entire world upside down. He- he was going to be a father? Almost immediately he could see a whole life flash by him; little copies of him and Alfred playing in the garden, helping him tend for his precious sunflowers, tiny scarfs and socks and sweaters he had helped knit. He would read them bedtime stories and take them on his shoulders, teach them his wisdom and keep them from any harm. It was such a lovely dream it almost set tears to his eyes.

Just as he was about to congratulate his partner and take the younger into his arms, he paused. There was something wrong with the picture. Something vital… missing.

"Alfred. Why do you think you are pregnant?" Ivan asked, voice audibly deflating from the happiness he'd felt just a few seconds before.

"Because- I've been getting real nauseous lately and I think I gained weight and I'm getting this weird feeling in my stomach and-"

"And that must mean you are pregnant, because…?"

"Because! That's exactly what the internet said once I typed in all the symptoms! We have to go to the store and buy a pregnancy test, I heard those things are- eep!"

Alfred gasped and flushed when Ivan stuffed a hands down his pants. He patted around for a bit, giving Alfred a pointed look with cocked eyebrow.

"Alfred. Has it not occurred to you that you are, how do I say this, male? And that without any scientific help, males cannot naturally get pregnant and give birth?"

Alfred blinked owlishly, then the blush darkened. Ivan sighed again as he retracted his hand, the other babbling uselessly as he made wild gestures with his hands.

"You have probably just been eating too much lately," the Russian explained patiently, rubbing his temples. Now that the idea of children had been brought up… he actually felt a bit disappointed that there weren't going to be any. He'd always loved children, after all.

"W-well, it's not my fault! Blame the internet, they should clarify that stuff!"

"Most people know this for a fact. They do not need extra clarification."

Alfred pouted, pulling his knees up to his chest. "Whatever. Thanks for being worried about my health, you ass."

Ivan didn't respond, staring off into the distance. It was that silence that drew Alfred's attention. "Ivan? You all right?"

The other answered with a shrug, not looking his lover in the eye. Alfred shuffled around for a bit before crawling over. Ivan silently took him into his arms, grateful for a bit of warmth now that his dream had been shattered - even though it had been planted there just a few moments ago.

Alfred placed a hesitant kiss on his stubbly cheek, then whispered into his ear.

"Hey… If you want kids so bad, we can always adopt…"

Ivan's eyes shot to the side, surprised and disbelieving.

"Really? But we never talked about-"

"Yeah, really. I can see you want them."

"Are you sure we are… ready?"

"As ready as we'll ever be."

Ivan contemplated the thought, then wrapped his arms even tighter around Alfred's body.

"Ya tebya lyublyu," he sighed, smiling widely at the prospect of starting a little family with his beloved.