Title: Three Sides to a Story

Word Count: 1300

Summary: Hiyori Sarugaki have gotten into a fight. Oh boy.

Requested by: Nobody. I just thought this up and thought it'd be fun. :D


The two Squad Twelvians glared at each other from across the room. Akon's broken arm was hurting, and was in the processed of being fixed, but that didn't stop him from glaring at Hiyori through the eye he could see through. Despite being a lieutenant, Hiyori had managed to acquire a group of scratches on her face, courtesy of Akon's fingernails, and a large bruise on her back from falling off of a roof. Akon had landed on top of her.

Shinji, who was there for no apparent reason, scratched his head. "So, what happened to you two?" he asked, scratching the side of his head. They both started talking at the same time.

"She-"

"-stupid unnecessary comments-"

"-demon-"

"-should be murdered in the most-"

"-I-"

"Enough."

Both ceased to talk and looked at the woman who had spoken, none other than Retsu Unohana. "I think we should learn both sides of the story, don't you?"

"Yes Captain Unohana," they said in unison, then resumed the glaring. "I call going first!"

"Flip a coin," Shinji suggested. "Heads or tails?"

"Heads!" Hiyori yelled. Akon glared at her. He had been going to say heads.

"Tails," he muttered under his breath.

Shinji flipped the coin. It came up tails. Akon smirked and opened his mouth. Hiyori cut him off.

"Where's Urahara?" she asked.

"Shut up. It's my turn," Akon said, sticking out his tongue. Hiyori rounded on him, rolling up her sleeves.

"Want me to black your other eye?"

"Lieutenant Sarugaki, please keep your voice down."

Akon smirked at her again and began his story. "So, anyway..."


It was a nice day. Because it was such a nice day - and because there had been a major discovery the night before - Mister Mayuri had let Akon go for a walk. And while Akon would have normally preferred to stay in the lab, he literally had not been outside for a week. So he jumped at the chance.

So, Akon was wandering along, being his normal saintly self, when he saw a little girl with really big glasses. And not the one in his division, she was from the Eighth, probably. And she was kind of cute, but that was beside the point. Anyway, he picked her a flower. She blushed and ran away.

The evil demon monster- erm, Hiyori saw this and was immediately jealous. Probably because she was too repulsive for cute boys to even think about picking her flowers. Akon shared Mister Mayuri's original belief that Hiyori was a freakishly long-haired boy.

"Hey!" Hiyori yelled. "Why don't you ever pick me flowers?"

Akon, who was always quick on his feet, and didn't want to immediately offend Hiyori but didn't want to pick her a flower because she was ugly, and, plus, the cute girl could be watching, thought up something that would probably work. "I only give flowers to girls that I like."

"So you're sayin' that I'm not good enough for a flower?" Hiyori asked, her face twisting into an ugly snarl. She advanced. Akon was, for once, speechless.

"Yes?"

And then they'd ended up physically fighting. Akon hadn't want to hit a girl at first, but after she'd knocked him off a roof-

("Bullshit!" Hiyori yelled at this point. Mayuri, who had gotten there with Urahara just in time to hear most of Akon's story, smacked her. Another shouting match ensued, and Captain Unohana had to intervene.)

Anyway, after she'd knocked him off of a roof, he'd figured he should get serious before she killed him. So he scratched her. And the demon- erm, Hiyori, had broken his arm. Actually, his arm might've broken when he fell off the roof. But who cared.

And then random Twelvians had appeared and taken them to where they were now. The end!


"Why were you on a roof?" Shinji asked.

"Why are you here?"

"Touche."

"Shut up! It's my turn..." Hiyori said. With a slightly devilish gleam in her eye - when wasn't there a devilish gleam in Hiyori's eye? - she began.


So, anyway, Hiyori was looking for that goddam little brat- erm, Akon, because he'd run off without permission-

("I actually did give him permission to take a short break," Mayuri admitted.

"Shut up, freak, this is my story!")

Anyway, he'd run off without permission, so she'd gone to fetch him. While crouching on a rooftop she saw him give a probably-drug-laced flower to a cute lil' girl and grin creepily at her. The little girl ran off crying.

"Hey! Why don't you ever pick me flowers?" Hiyori yelled, deciding that it would make a great entrance. She leaped off of the roof and landed behind Akon, making him jump.

"Because you're an ugly, unlikeable bitch and I don't like you," Akon said bluntly.

(Akon lunged and had to be restrained.)

Hiyori, naturally, was insulted. "What the hell're you talking about?" she yelled. And then Akon had attacked. With no provocation whatsoever.

Somehow or another, they had ended up on a roof. They stood there, breathing hard. Akon had Hiyori pinned on the corner, and she had nowhere to go. So, she grabbed Akon by the arm-

("The hair, not the arm!")

By the arm and they fell. She landed on the arm she hadn't grabbed onto and it broke audibly. She had landed on a rather large, kind of pointy rock. And then people had shown up and they ended up where they were now.

End.


"Those are both lovely stories, but I think I have someone who can tell us what really happened," Captain Unohana said, smiling softly - making everyone in the room shudder - and leading out a small, dark-haired girl wearing large glasses. She blushed and took a step back. "It's all right, just tell us what you saw."

"Well..." she said, looking at her feet. "It happened like this..."


Nanao Ise wanted to see that boy again - did she just say that? No, she'd just wanted to take a walk. Eerily close to the Twelfth Division.

And then that boy had given her a flower, and she'd been so flustered that she'd run off. She decided that she had to apologize to him, so she headed back. He was arguing with Lieutenant Sarugaki.

"Why don't you ever pick me flowers?" the lieutenant had shouted. That boy had shrugged, rolling his eyes.

"Because I don't like you."

And then the lieutenant had attacked that boy. That boy had scrambled up onto the roof to escape-

(Akon had actually been wanting to push her off, but nobody had to know that.)

And the lieutenant had followed him, and after lots of wrestling on the roof, they'd rolled off. That boy had landed on top of Lieutenant Sarugaki, and he'd broken his arm by trying to break his fall on the ground. But all of him had missed the ground except for his arm.

And then the people had come, and then it ended.


"It was her fault! She attacked first!" Mayuri said triumphantly, jabbing a finger at Hiyori. She jumped to her feet and advanced.

"Hiyori..." Captain Urahara said. She glared at him, kicked him in the balls, and stomped off.

Akon smiled at Nanao. It was good to know her name. "So, you wanna go look for frogs sometime? It's really fun to find them, and put them in a big glass container with just water and holes for air and see which ones eat each other!"

"You are working for a month straight," Mayuri intervened. "I was doing something important, and your stupid little argument interrupted me.

"And my little Nanao is too little to be going on dates," Captain Kyoraku, who had arrived with Nanao, said. "But in, say, a hundred and ten years..."


Hmm... :) Oh, and thank you to The Layman for my 100th review. :D This is my first story to reach that benchmark and it is awesome.

Also, I may not update for a while. I've got a bunch of final projects coming up... so, probably not until summer vacation... school ends May 16, so unless I get a super-really-good-fun idea, don't expect an update. :P Have low expectations. Life is better that way.

AurorA