Okay this is a long chapter i had to stop writing this chapter somewhere or it would be like 10,000 words or so not good for one chapter but i hope you enjoy i know you have all be waiting eagerly Thanks for the reviews again helps me focus on writing when i know you want to read...ENJOY
Larke's POV
I awake early the next morning excited almost at the idea of hot morning coffee, I head downstairs to start my first morning with coffee. I mentally shriek with glee, I forgot how much I missed coffee. Breakfast not sounding appetizing, I settle into the couch at sips my hot beverage.
My thoughts drift back to my weird conversation with Sam, do they all talk about Embry's apparent crush on me behind my back or something. It is odd that a grown man with a wife and child would care about a crush his friend had on someone when he has a reputation of not sticking with anyone. You would think Embry having a crush and wanting to get into their pants is a normal occurrence, not something to take note of. I still don't trust him, regardless of what he says but for some reason I want to trust him.
Embry's mood swings, or more like personality swings have me baffled. I have never met anyone like him in my life and I can't seem to get him out of my head. As I sit there and ponder the whys and hows of Embry Call, I catch myself thinking more about his physical features rather than the mysterious personality complexes that have my mind boggled. It is not only him, but it seems like everyone around me here is more complex and mysterious than Leah let on. The secret lives of the La Push Natives, hmmm that would make an interesting reality TV show or something.
I have to get my mind off of him, I have to get back to reality…and wanting him is definitely out of the question for more reasons than one, but I can't help but wonder what it would be like. Leah certainly isn't opposed to the idea, she would have told me to stay away. She has done that in the past…tried to protect me from one of her guy friends, but maybe I should make sure and fess up and see her reaction. No, I can't do that she will tell him and I would be mortified into a catatonic state. I am sounding like a teenaged girl in my head.
Jake, Seth, and Quil seem to appear out of thin air in the front room, I must really have been into my thoughts to not have heard them come in. I look up at them casually taking another sip of my now chilled coffee.
"No breakfast today?" Seth says with a small pout.
"Just coffee." I say getting up to freshen my cup.
The three of them gripe and moan a little and I just smile and pour my coffee. The three of them rummage for food each grabbing something here and there and settling in to relax.
"So did you guys have to work last night?" I inquire wondering why they missed dinner.
"Yeah something like that." Jake says with a smile but not saying anymore.
"Did you miss us?" Seth smirks at me his eyes lighting up as he notices that I blush a bit at being caught.
"No." I say quickly trying to keep my voice steady but instead it some out a little high pitched and makes is vagrantly obvious that I am lying.
"Of course you didn't miss us, but I know who you were missing then and are still missing now…" Jake teases me sounding very entertained.
"You have no idea what you are taking about, Jake."
"Sure, Sure…don't be coy, it is very simple to see when you are around each other than the feelings are mutual, not just one sided like you want everyone to believe, especially him." Seth says backing up Jakes insinuation.
"I do not, I mean it's not like that." I stumble over my words not quite sure how to quiet their accusations.
"Don't be mean to the boy Larke, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, just let him know because right about now he is trying desperately to cut down the cherry tree without anyone knowing." Quil says confusing me.
"What are you trying to say?"
"He is trying to say that just because it is obvious to everyone else doesn't mean that he sees it and he is beating himself up mentally trying to figure you out and try not to do anything wrong."
"I swear everyone around here are a bunch of freaks, why are you all so fucking obsessive about the crush Embry so obviously has on me!" I almost shout this at them an d head upstairs to my room leaving them all dumbstruck in the living room.
Music forces the noise out of my head and allows me to relax, without the constant drumming of everyone's accusatory remarks about feelings I don't have for Embry. I mean he is fun to talk and joke with and he is an interesting person, but I don't want him like he wants me, well honestly part of me wants him. I am a girl and how can I not desire to touch him, the mental image of my hand on his chest sends a chill down my spine as I mentally kick myself for my inane reaction.
After about an hour of listening to drumming music I decide that I must do something with the rest of the day or I am going to have to punch the wall to take my mind off of him. I head down stairs and to the back door wanting to get some fresh air to clear my head, maybe I'll try and take a walk in the woods or something. I don't really want to see anyone right now.
I open the door and emotionally find myself at a standstill, wanting to disappear off the face of the earth at that very second. Just as I was about to step off the back step none other than the very person I didn't want to see walks out of the forest, shirtless nonetheless. My eyes focus on his chest drifting lower than I can handle to the waistband of his pants. I watch as his legs move across the yard towards me, watching them move beneath the worn denim. His jeans move as his legs bring him silently closer, my imagination goes haywire as my eyes drift from his moving legs to the zipper on his jeans. I quickly dart my eyes upward and notice him watching me very intently.
Did he see me looking at him? Does he want me to look at him? It doesn't matter I decide regaining my composure I continue my stalled movement out into the backyard. Jake and Quil's words come floating back to me, do I really like him…
"Hey, Larke just the girl I was looking for?" Embry says now within a few feet of me.
"What may I ask for?" My mind becoming formal all of a sudden as my insecurities arise.
"Oh, Leah mentioned to me that you might like to explore the forest trails around here, thought I might offer my excellent knowledge of the local flora and fauna."
"I guess if you are such an expert I don't see how I can refuse."
"Great…" He says offering his hand.
I smile and hesitantly take it, the warmth surround my skin like the other times I have touched him, but having his fingers close around mine increases the sensation almost 10 fold causing my skin to burn, but not a scalding burn, the feeling is beyond what one would normally feel to that of intense satisfaction. His hand remains around mine, and I happily allow the contact as he leads me towards a small trail at the edge of the trees.
The trail is only wide enough for him to lead me as I trail behind with our hands still clasped. The trail not even a human trail at all, seems only to be made by the constant passing of animals through the forest, reminding me of the trails deer use back home. I wonder what animal uses this particular trail maybe some kind of deer or moose, hopefully not something more sinister such as a bear or a wolf. I remember taking a trip to Yellowstone as a kid and seeing bells sold on sticks and bracelets and such, for the specific use of not running into a bear while hiking in the woods. Should I have worn some kind of bells to ward off any predators, for all I know the bells would attract the very creatures I wanted to stay away from.
"Is it safe to be out here?" I ask quietly uneasy due to my train of thought.
"I'll protect you." He says in a darkly confident voice turning around to look at me and smiling.
"Are their monstrous creatures in the forests around here?"
"Just a few bears, wolves, coyotes, wolverines, and occasionally a bobcat or two, but don't worry like I said I'll protect you."
"How are you going to do that some crazy Native American black magic or something."
He laughs, "Is that what you think?" He grins at me again, " You really don't know that much about our history do you?"
"Sorry, Ohio isn't very diverse." I say embarrassed by my sudden ridiculous outburst.
"It's okay, I'm sure you'll understand it all hopefully."
"So where does this trail go, does it get any wider, I feel like your dragging me into the middle of the forest just to get me away from civilization."
"You'll find out where I'm taking you soon enough, and it gets a bit wider up here."
The trail didn't seem to get any wider, in fact I felt that it had narrowed quiet a bit considering that the brush seemed to be more overgrown the farther we ventured into the forest. The underbrush encroaching on the trail wasn't the only part of the forest looming towards me; the trees themselves started to become more dense and more and more light from the gray skies reached the recesses beneath the trees. The darkening of the forest floor had a calming eerie effect on me making me, relax into a ominous state of denial. Denial of my fear of being alone with him so far from everyone without any link to the world outside of myself and him. Did he know? Was he testing my trust in him? Does anyone know where we are?
The questions were becoming too much for me, I fought back the haziness of the paranoia and all consuming fear by repeating in my head 'I trust him' but wanting nothing more than to be out of the woods and back at the house. My breathing, I detect is labored either from the hike or from my anxiety, of which I don't know.
"Can we take a break?" I say taking a deep breath once again.
"Are you getting tired?" He asks stopping and pulling me off the trail towards through the brush into a small clearing that appears out of nowhere.
"Just a little out of breath." I say looking for a place to sit, finding a log that looks relatively dry.
"I guess that is to be expected we've been walking for quiet awhile, probably an hour or so." He says taking a seat next to me.
My breathing and mind have not calmed down yet, I bite my cheek hoping to dispel any more attempts at ruining the day that my mind may think up.
"Did you hike a lot in Ohio?" Embry asks breaking the silence.
"Yes, I love the trees and the quiet symphonies that are the sounds of the forest, being around nature seems more natural to me than being around people."
"I like the forest too, its one of the reasons I brought you out here today."
"Really, what are the other reasons?" I ask curious, to find out more about him.
"I want to tell you more about myself and about the La Push area. You asked earlier about the animals of the forest, but I didn't really elaborate. The animal the Quileute, that is my people celebrate is the wolf. The wolf is revered for their loyalty to our people, they are seen as the protectors of the forest, their spirit guides us and keeps us safe. We do not fear the wolf, as you should not fear the wolf but embrace it as we do."
I smile for I am at a loss of what to say, Embry or anyone from here has ever told me anything about their heritage. Now hearing him speak about intimate details of what he believes is fascinating, my curiosity is crying out for more, but not willing to ask.
"Our tribe has a group of protectors that keep our people safe, they are the pack, as in a pack of wolves, we, I included keep people in line and settle certain disputes on our land."
"The neighborhood watch?" I mumble.
"Yes, we are a pack and patrol the area in groups like a pack of wolves, the wolf being such an integral part of our culture makes it come naturally as if we were born to work together."
He pauses and looks at me for a second, hopefully he will continue I think.
"Wolf packs like many societies are based on a hierarchy where one member is in charge of the rest and this wolf is called the alpha, our pack is similar where our leader is, Sam…he is the oldest although that's not the whole reason he is the alpha. But he gives us orders and keeps us in line as well. Wolf packs have a lot of other quirks that I don't think I am going to go into at the moment, I'll save that for another conversation…" He says trailing off and looking into the distance.
I look at him and see that he seems to be thinking really hard about something, his brow is furrowed tense, his eyes are narrowed and distant, but what surprises me most is that his whole body seems to be contracted—his muscles straining and looking very alluring in the muddled lights of the forest.
I stand up looking at him again and ask, "Are you okay you seem very tense?"
He stands up and towers over me only a few feet away, he looks down at me as I gaze up to meet his eyes.
"I am fine…" he says taking a step closer to me. I instinctively step backwards, "Am I scaring you?" he asks once again stepping closer not waiting for answer.
"Not yet." I step back again tripping over a rock and falling backwards onto my back.
My head bounces off the ground luckily not hitting anything other than the dirt, but before I can get up I feel to hands around my waist lifting me onto my feet. He doesn't let go when I am steady. His hands burn into my sides, I feel his thumbs on my hipbones as he walks me backwards until I am trapped between him and a very large tree. His hands leave my body, I suddenly miss his burning presence, but am unsure about his blatant actions. I am very aware that I can't escape as his hands find purchase on the tree on either side of my shoulders.
Evil memories drift silently into my mind, I push them away once again, with all the force I can find. My palms grip the tree behind me, the bark digging into my skin reminding me to come back to reality. I chant in my head 'I am safe, I trust him, it's okay' in my mind. This whole time I was looking past him, I allow my eyes to drift towards his secretly anticipating the calm that I feel radiating from him, but I am disappointed. His eyes do not hold calm, but seem very distant, I press myself further into the tree at the realization that this is the other side of Embry.
"You see I have more in common with wolves than anyone knows…" He says in a deep husky voice that scares me a bit more than I want it to.
"As our legends go, my ancestors needed help protecting their people and formed a more intimate bond with the wolf, joining spirits they became one. Genetically passed from generation to generation until the need for the bond was needed once again. My generation has had the honor I suppose more of a curse if you ask me to take part in the ancient pastime of protecting our people."
I relax a little more hearing him talk again about his life, but he still has be caged against the tree, his eyes locked with mine as he speaks.
"The need for protection sparked the change in all of us, calling us to become more equipped to handle the job so to say, to handle the monsters that are out there, it in turn transformed us into werewolves." As he said this he whispered the last part in my ear, his body pressing against mine almost entirely.
"Werewolf." I whisper back to him…trying to confirm that he is in fact trying to scare me again what does he think I am gullible.
"Yes, I turn into a giant wolf…so that I can protect my people from the evils in the world. Do you believe me Larke?"
I don't know what to do…my mind is telling me to go along with it, I mean I need him to get back to the house. I don't want to piss him off and have him leave me here, alone in the darkening woods by myself.
"Why did you want to tell me about you being a wolf? I ask trying to keep my voice from faltering but I can't and I give away my fear, as if he couldn't tell already. My heart is racing and my breathing is shallow.
"I-I want you to understand me…" He whispers again but pulls back a little, "I want you to know why I want to control you and call you mine…" He pulls himself further away but keeps his arms firmly in place.
My mind is reeling; I shouldn't have come out here with him. I am on the verge of another panic attack when I hear his calming voice once again.
"From what I understand about how wolves interact the key idea is that the male is dominant over his female, she submits to him and she is his for life…the wolf in me has a strong hold over my actions and overpowers my more human emotions towards you. The human part of me has trouble reigning in my animalistic side more so than the rest of the guys."
His voice had the desired affect on me, I am calm once again but for how long I wonder. My voice is lost, I am too far gone to speak to him…the thought that keeps replaying in my head is 'he is crazier than I thought'. I close my eyes hoping to awake from this nightmare.
"Don't you have anything to say?" He questions me in an angry voice sending fear towards me once again.
He leans into me again, his body pressing me firmly against the tree. His breath is very hot against my face, actually his whole body is very hot against me.
"Answer me." He demands harshly making all the calm I gathered from his voice disappear.
My body is not working for me tonight, the hazy mind numbing sensations return as I feel myself drift slowly away from the scary crazy person before me. My breathing is labored, my eyes close involuntarily, and I am sucked away into my mind and away from reality. My past memories of the men mix with my current memories of Embry into a cycling nightmare. My hand trembles and reaches for my next as I remember the man's hands holding me against a tree very different from this one.
My skin on my neck feels cold under my clammy hand, only seconds after my hand rests on my neck it is torn away. Smacked into the tree bark above my head are my wrists, the pain forces me out of my nightmares and back to Embry, the real reason for my panic. My wrists are held in one of his hands over my head, a evil smirk plays across his face as he looks down at me.
He leans in towards my ear and whispers, "You haven't answered me yet, I am getting very impatient," His voice is calm again making me think he knows what effect it has on me. I feel like I am on a roller coaster, he scares me, calms me, scares me, calms me, over and over, he has to know what he is doing to me.
"Why?" I manage to breath out with my next shallow breath.
"Why what? Why am I impatient? Why do I have you pinned against a tree? Why do you have to answer me? There are many whys Larke, I think you need to elaborate?" Amusement and playfulness sound in the voice he uses causing annoyance to rise within me.
"All of them." Again only a whisper of a voice is elicited from me.
"Impatience—that's a hard one I think I lies in the fact that you haven't responded to the fact that I am a werewolf in the normal way…meaning I want to know why and what you are thinking. The tree—that one is easy I like the way you feel against me, I know I am in control and you are helpless, it is testing my control over my lust so to speak, knowing that I could have you. I want you to answer me because the faster you tell me what I want to know the better it is for you—I don't want to hurt you, I want to take you home, I want you to accept me, I want you to understand, but most of al I don't want you to run from me thinking I am a monster, I can't handle you hating me."
Calming voice again, damn him playing with my emotions like this…but I gather my voice hoping against all odds that I can spit out what I need to say, "I think your chances of getting me to talk to you are better if you let me go…I won't run from you, I can't find my way home without you…" I look him in the eye willing him to understand trying to bring back the Embry that doesn't believe he is a wolf, but picks out Disney movies about shaggy dogs. Oh my gosh, the movie…the similarities to that and his story.
Surprisingly he lets go of one of my wrists and trails the other back down to my side. He keeps a gentle but firm grasp on my other wrist and steps away leading, almost dragging me back over to the log we sat upon before.
"Are you okay?" He asks looking away from me and towards the ground.
"Are you?" I ask looking towards him, but he doesn't look up, " I only ask because of what you told me before when you told me you weren't well, and I mean you are acting very strangely today."
He laughs nervously, " You think me telling you that I am a werewolf is the part that makes me 'crazy' for lack of a better term."
"Yes." I whisper uneasy again due to his laughter.
"The fact that I am a werewolf makes me act this way, not only that but the fact that I am a werewolf in love makes me crazy."
"love." I whisper picking up on his confession.
"Do you really think I would tell you I am a werewolf if I wasn't, do you think that is anyway for me to get you to like me?"
"Do you really believe that you are a wolf?"
"I not only know I am a wolf but that Jake, Leah and the rest of the pack are werewolves too."
"Leah?"
"I can prove it to you, but I don't want to do it here…I don't want you to get lost in the woods, but if you want I can show you or someone else can if you don't want anything to do with me once I bring you home." He says turning his head away, sadness riddling his voice.
"Can we go home now?" I ask apprehensively not wanting to ask too soon.
He looks at me, his eyes dampened with moisture; he is calm now looking more like the Embry I have come to know. He stands up and offers his hand to me without saying a word. I grasp his open hand and follow as he leads me back to the trail. No words are spoken as we walk at a slow pace back towards the house. He does not turn to look at me, his eyes forward, his hand loosely clasping to mine, it is not the intense grip I experienced on the way there, nor is the feeling the same. The burning of his skin, is only a icy reminder of how his hands forced me against the tree.
I do not run from him when I start to recognize the thinning of the forest, I allow him to lead me until we reach the backyard. The sky is now dark, and stars have not yet risen. I drop his hand and hesitantly walk forward catching his eye as I pass by him, the sadness has yet to leave his eyes, I feel like a zombie as I walk into the house. I am bombarded with the noise of what I can only assume is the drumming of everyone conversing and eating dinner. I suddenly feel alone as I realize no one missed me, they knew where I was…they knew. I walk into the room and the noise comes to a sudden halt…I look at no one. I feel betrayed like a calf sent to slaughter before it has had a chance to live the life that it was promised. I head up the stairs without a word, without seeing any of them, without knowing anymore than what I think.
Sorry if you think this is too much of a cliffy but i hope to update again soon so no worries life goes on even if Larkes life is put on hold for a day
