Presenting, The New Mr. And Mrs. Mystery


Mabel slouched against the stiff, wooden benches of the Salem Police Department, exhausted. Despite the dramatic exit, she'd still had to spend the entire drive back in the car with the creepy showman. Ray let her drive as an excuse to focus on the road rather than Gideon's voice. He'd basically ruined marshmallows for her with the number of times he'd called her that. Ray looked no better off when he returned form securing Gideon in a holding cell.

"How did you ever stand him?"

"I had Dipper." She answered simply, handing him a bottle of water as he collapsed on the bench beside her, "He'd do the dirty work. He had no qualms about shooting someone down and he never missed a chance to get back at Gideon."

After a minute, he quietly queried, "Are the things Gideon said about the fire true?"

"I don't know. I mean, yeah, his house did burn down, but I don't know if Dipper was responsible." She finally sighed, "He never said anything about it. I wouldn't put something like that past him, but… but he would have told me if he did."

Ray didn't like how unsure of herself Mabel sounded. Almost like she was trying to convince herself of her own words.

Suddenly, they lyrics for "Straight Blanchin" by Lil Big Dawg rang out from Mabel's inner pocket. Ray vaguely remembered it being a summer pop sensation when he was in high school, but he had never bothered to find out what the words were exactly. Something about eating pants?

Mabel fished out her cell and swiped the answer command.

"Soos!" Her tone was warm and friendly, so obviously not a work related call. Ray waved her off as she pointed to the receiver and left his earshot.

Outside, Mabel couldn't hold in her excitement, "It's so good to hear from you, Soos!"

"Yeah, Mabel dood." Came the chubby man's usual greeting, "Melody dood is here too!"

"Hey Melody."

"Hey, Mabel." Her voice sounded farther away, like the couple was sharing the phone on speaker, "We heard you were in Oregon. We wanted to try and convince you to swing by for a visit on your way back from whatever you're doing for work. It's been forever! And you haven't met Esperanza yet."

"It's Espi for short!" Another voice yelled from the far background.

"We know, Elena dood!" Soos yelled back to his five-year-old daughter.

"Who did you hear from?" Mabel asked, already knowing the answer.

"Wendy." Melody answered, "It was her weekend off. She came up to babysit the kids so Soos and I could have a date weekend."

"Oh," Mabel teased, "Scandalous."

"Totally." Soos agreed, "If I'd written a fanfic about it, it'd fall into the upper-teen rating, maybe mature if you were paranoid."

Mabel laughed. She could hear Melody getting her revenge for Soos's comment as a tickle attack traveled over the line.

"So how is business in the Mystery Shack?" She changed the topic for Melody's sake

"Better than ever." Soos exclaimed, "I put in a 4d movie theatre. We were doing a showing of Jurassic World for our 'Creepy Old movie Showcase' about a week ago, complete with a set of animatronic dinos. Old Man McGucket souped those up for us. I want to do Loinclotheclese next, but Melody won't let me since Elena inherited your fear of stop-motion animation."

"Guess you'll have to find something else." Mable laughed, soaking up the way Soos had never stopped considering her as family. Then again, Grunkle Stan had bequeathed Soos the deed to the Shack as Soos's inheritance. They were family, in all but name.

"So when are you coming, Mabel dood? I've put extra glitter on all the attractions in your honor!"

Mabel held back a sigh, "I don't know, Soos. This case is tough. I can't take a break till everything is solved."

"Well you should take tiny breaks." Melody butted into the conversation again, "You need plenty of rest and nourishment if you want to by functioning at full capacity."

"Too late," Mabel chuckled, "I tripped, not a week into the investigation. Gave myself a sprained wrist and a concussion."

It sounded like Melody completely hijacked the phone after that, "You should take it easy for seven to ten days, Mabel." She instructed, entering complete nurse mode, "If any of your symptoms – headaches, confusion, memory problems, or vomiting get worse – you should go see a doctor immediately. And you can always call me if you're not sure."

"Thanks, Nurse Ramirez."

"Don't mock me, young lady." Melody said sternly, "I have a masters in nursing from Oregon Health and Science in Portland."

They both laughed.

"But seriously, Mabel. Let us know if you need anything. Anything at all."

"Yeah, Mabel dood." Soos added, "I'm always ready to help with a mystery hunt!"

"It's not quite the same, Soos." She knew she sounded a bit wistful, "I wish it were. Bunkers and hideouts. Monsters and magical creatures. They are so much easier to deal with than people who seem like they're always lying."

"Like who?"

After a pause, Mabel decided it wouldn't hurt to tell them.

"Gideon, actually." She confessed.

"Oh, he's in Salem now?" Melody queried.

"What do you mean by 'now'?"

"I saw him in Gravity Falls a few days ago. Um, let me think, six days ago." Melody mused, "You know I make house calls for his mother. She has dementia. I believe Gideon personally covers her medical expenses. Anyway, he was visiting her when I made a check in. I know you don't like him, but he's done a good job caring for his mother ever since his father had that heart attack and passed away."

While that information raced through her mind, Mabel responded automatically, "He should take care of her after everything he put her through when he was younger."

"Yeah dood." Soos agreed.

"Anyway," Melody huffed, "Come visit us, Mabel. Seriously."

"Yeah dood." Soos added helpfully.

"We have to go now. Soos needs to round up the girls and I need to get supper started. Wendy is coming for dinner tonight. I'm making taco soup."

Mabel's stomach growled as she realized how late it was getting, "Oh man. That sounds good."

Melody laughed, "Come visit us." She repeated, "And I'll make you some."

"Deal."


Yay! Soos and Melody. They are so sweet, like sugar and maple syrup ;) Also, considering that this is around 10 years after Jurassic World, it can be considered an oldie(ish)! Haha! Don't forget to check out the famous - and infamous - Starfleetrambo: (starfleetrambo tumblr com/post/100668437663/trust-only-me)