I do not own any of the characters from charmed or twilight.


Bella's POV

He knew I was shocked, he knew I was so surprised that I couldn't move, but what he didn't know was that this was exactly what I had dreamed of for so long. A life in which I was his equal.

Yet, now I was Superman and he was Lois Lane and it was the exact opposite of what I wanted.

"Well, well, well, look who's come back from the dead." I spoke with fake bravado and tried to hide behind smiles and jokes because I was actually impressed with human Edward; for a very long time I had imagined what he would be like and he lived up to those exceptions.

"Yes. Though I was lead to believe that when one rose from the grave it required a craving for brains." He joked and although his movements were still shaky, actually, he kind of reminded me of Bambi taking his very first steps, he was still Edward, charming, clever, and a little bit of an ass.

"Actually, for that particular craving to happen, you have to human when you make the transition." I smiled up at him and he sent me the very same crooked grin I fell for when I first met him.

We stood there him at the top of the stairs me at the bottom and for the first time in a long time I felt like everything in my life was complete. I had my family, my friends, the love of my life, and Edward, whatever he was to me, was the missing puzzle piece that I needed to be truly complete.

I trusted my heart when it told me that I didn't love Edward but he did mean something to me. For a time in my human life Edward was my world and he had showed me how to be brave and open and more importantly he showed me a life I wanted, a life that I had never had before, a life with a family. He was willing to share that with me and I was so infatuated with him and a need to belong somewhere that I didn't even realize that I wasn't in love with Edward I was in love with the idea of Edward.

But that didn't mean I didn't love him it just meant I couldn't love him the way he wanted me to. When he left the first time he broke my heart and the second he betrayed me and I hated him for it. I hated him so much I fought any sort of feelings for him because it was easier than admitting that I cared for him at all.

"Bella." His voice broke through my inner monologue and I looked at him, "Join me?" He extended his hand towards me and I took it without reservation.

We walked into the attic in complete silence any amusement from before was completely gone. He sat in front of the window and eyed me apprehensively, his body was tense and his mouth opened and closed as he searched for something to say.

"I'll admit," He began, "When I asked you to join me I didn't think you would."

"Well, I did." I sat down next to him and he ginned at me, he ducked his head down and looked up at me from his lashes.

"That you did."

It was quiet again and I didn't want to be the one to break the silence. I knew that he had wanted to talk to me now for quite some time and my issues with Chris kept me from wanting to repair any sort of relationship with Edward.

"I'm sorry I lashed out at you." The words fell from my lips softly and Edward looked at me surprise and taken aback, "I know that's come at you from out of the blue but I just have to let you know that I never meant to be so cruel to you."

"Bella I-"

"No," I held out a hand to stop him and he pressed his lips together, "Please let me finish."

He nodded softly and I took that as a sign to continue, "I know that I have been avoiding you, it has been intentional and cruel. Part of it was done because I was petty and I wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me," He winced and looked away from me, "But at the same time I avoided you because I didn't want to face the truth."

I didn't continue and he looked to me for an answer, "Which was?" He prompted.

"That a part of me still cares for you very, very deeply," he smiled widely, his bronze hair shining as the sun came through the window, his green eyes bright with wonder, "But..."

"Oh no." He sighed and bowed his head down.

"But not the way you want me to."

It didn't hurt to say, it was a great relief for me. What hurt was the look in his eyes.

"And the way you're looking at me now is the reason I didn't want to tell you. I never wanted to hurt you Edward. I've been so childish, so petty, and I am so sorry."

His shoulders began to shake and I knew he was going to start crying. That's when began to laugh.

He was laughing and this was definitely not the time for him to be laughing.

"Edward." He wrapped an arm around his torso and closed his now tearing up eyes, "What the hell?"

"Oh, Bella." He was attacked by another laughing fit and shook his head, "I just- I just- You are so good."

Good. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Thank you?"

"Bella." Edward cleared his throat and wiped his red eyes clean, "I only mean to say that you I have never met anyone in my life who was so kind and compassionate. You rival even Carlisle."

I felt my face go red with embarrassment, to be compared to Carlisle was the greatest honor anyone could receive.

"I hurt you Bella. I know I did what I did to make keep you safe, and I'm not at all trying to justify what I did, but I did it. Yet here you are telling me you're sorry for lashing out, when you had every reason to. Telling me that you never wanted to hurt me, when you had every reason to."

I cut him off, "But just because I have a reason doesn't mean I should."

"And that Bella, that little voice that tell you to be a gentle person to everyone, no matter what, is what makes you so good. It makes you so very human." He smiles at me and I smile back unable to say anything.

"Can I ask you though? Do you still love me?"

"Edward..." He looks away his eyes darting around the room looking at anything but me.

"Sorry. That was rude of me."

I shake my head at him, "I still care for you Edward."

"But what is it about Chris that sets him apart from me."

I sigh, he was just as persistent as ever, human or not.

"Jacob." I say simply.

"What?" He shakes his head, confused.

"I love Jacob so much. He's the sun of my life. When he's here everything lights up and I feel warm but like the sun he's angry and volatile." Edward furrows his brow but says nothing, "Edward before I needed you like I needed air. I needed you to make me feel like I was whole. But a moment without you and I felt like I would shrivel up and die. Don't you see whats wrong with that."

I knew he understood what I meant because his eyes darkened.

"But things are different with Chris. It's a different type of love. It's healthy and he makes me strong, he lets me save myself and make my own decisions. The thing with Chris is that I don't need him, he is a part of me. I don't need him like the sun and I don't need him like I need to breath. He is my equal and I want him."

I feel him begin to understand. I sense that he knows that I love him but not the way he wants me to.

"Wow." His voice is tight, "That's hard to live up to."

"Edward, I'm not sorry for loving him. I just don't-" I feel my eyes begin to water and there are tears that are threatening to spill over.

"Bella." He covers his heart with his hand while the other he rests on my cheek his thumb wiping the fresh tears away, "Not for me, never for me."

I wrap my arms around him and pulls me in.

He was soft but his arms were tight around me, it wasn't an unpleasant feeling, just different. Before he was so careful, he handled me like I was a valuable porcelain vase. His chest was against mine so close that I could actually feel his heart beating.

"Oh." I exclaimed. He tried to pull away but I shook my head, "Just wait."

"What is it?" He asked.

"Your heart. I can feel it."

He laughs breathlessly, "Really?" He holds me tighter, "That's wonderful."

"Edward. I love you." I cry against his shoulder, my voice muffled by his shirt.

"I love you as well. Always."

We sit there for quite some time, minutes or seconds, before he pushes me away and I see clear panic in eyes.

"What is it?" I ask, my eyes wide and my heart racing, his eyes are focused on the door and I dread looking over.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." I hear his voice and I know that he's heard some of the conversation, how much I don't know but I know it's enough for him to think that I've done something wrong.

"Chris I-" I stand up ready to go to him.

"Don't worry about it." He orbs away before I can reach him and I'm left grasping empty air.

"No!" I yell out. This can't be happening. How can this be happening? Why? Why? Why? WHY? I feel my hands shake and I run my hands through my hair. I need to find him, I need to explain, I need to kiss him and prove that I love him. I need him here. I need him to say he understands. I need him.

When I realize that I can't stand there and cry that my boyfriend is gone, that I actually have to do something about it, I turn to face Edward ready to tell him I need to leave.

And he's just sitting there, still as a statue. His eyes wide and his mouth agape.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"Bella?" I turn, "We need to talk."


I hope you all liked it, constructive criticism and ideas are welcome.