Title:- No way out
Pairing:- Izuo
Rating:- M
Warnings:- language, violence, yaoi
Disclaimer:- I don't own Durarara
Summary:- Izaya is in no condition to run.
Requested by:- guest and guest
It had finally happened. Someone had managed to take him down and it wasn't even the monster. No this was thanks to his humans. One in particular. Izaya sighed looking around the bland hospital room.
"The best money can offer huh?" The informant murmured to himself.
He didn't do well in confined places. Not because he was claustrophobic but because it was boring. His record for sitting still was less than an hour. As a lover of humans he needed to be out among them observing and manipulating. Though if he was honest, maybe if he'd kept to the shadows he wouldn't have been stabbed.
Lesson learned. Knives hurt. Now he knew just how satisfying it would be when he finally stabbed the iron golem parading his town. Izaya grinned. He'd make it a long blade, nice and sharp. Maybe an extra one just in case. Or another, he could skewer the brute as if he was playing one of those pop up games.
Izaya sighed staring at the glaring sign pointing out no phones or laptops. Shinra hadn't visited yet so he'd had no one to bring him his stuff. The only possessions he had were his phones confiscated by the police and his jacket which looked to be more injured than him. A couple of stitches wasn't going to fix that.
Not to mention they'd taken his knife away. What was he supposed to do when the human responsible realised he was still alive? Surely he'd come back and finish the job. Izaya sighed. He could hardly move with a hole in his side. As if things couldn't get more humiliating they'd hooked him up with a catheter. No moving apparently meant no moving.
Izaya stared warily at the door seeing the doctors and nurses pass by. The next time the nurse came to check on him he'd see what he could swipe. The plastic cutlery they'd given him with his meal was useless.
The door slid open and he tried not to look like a shocked human. He was joking about the assassin thing, well there was a number of humans and not quite humans that hated him, so it wasn't that far fetched. It would be a cowardly act to take him out when he was defenceless.
"Shizu-chan." Izaya sighed shaking his head. "I expected better. You couldn't wait until I could at least move?"
The blond glared at him looking just as imposing and stupid as ever in that bartender suit. Denial much? No one was going to hire him again.
"What are you on about?" The blond grumbled sliding the door shut. "You look like shit."
Izaya frowned. "You're not here to kill me?"
"You're already in hospital. Who'd you piss off this time?"
Izaya flinched as something was tossed at him. So much for not harming him. But it was warmish and smelt familiar. "Sushi?"
The blond shrugged looking around the room and not at him. "Hospital food tastes like crap."
"Cardboard actually. No taste at all." Izaya corrected. "What's this a peace offering? Is it poisoned? Did you buy this or did someone tell you to give it to me?"
Shizuo wandered the perimeter of the small hospital room. "So you don't whine and bitch to the hospital staff. They have people to save."
"You didn't answer any of my questions. How am I supposed to know it's safe?" Izaya stared at the bag transfixed. It might just be worth the risk.
"You don't want it. Don't eat it. Just don't bother everyone with your whining."
"I wasn't whining." Izaya opened the bag. "Shizu-chan, you eat half."
"I've already eaten."
Izaya narrowed his gaze. "It is poisoned. That's cowardly even for you!" Izaya reached for the button that brought the nurses running.
"For fuck sake it's not poisoned." The blond growled opening the bag and taking his sushi.
"That's mine." Izaya glared watching the brute chew.
Shizuo only shrugged chewing and swallowed. "Shut up and eat. Do you know how expensive that crap is? Ugh. Not sweet at all."
"Expensive? You paid for this? Out of your own money?" Izaya grinned digging in. "So why are you here? You brought me sushi. Aw, are you missing me? No one to chase around?"
For a moment he could've sworn the brute was blushing but that could easily be rage. "I'm the only one that can kill you."
Izaya raised a brow. "So you are here to kill me. I knew it." Under the covers he clutched at the plastic knife. It seemed to shake in his hand when the blond made a sudden move.
"I'll be outside."
"Why?"
"To make sure no one else kills you dumbass."
Izaya blinked. Maybe that attack had killed him instead. Maybe he was in a comatose dream where he got sushi everyday and everyone liked him.
The door slammed shut and Izaya craned his head to see if the brute really was acting as his bodyguard. Unfortunately he moved a little too much and cried out in pain.
Grumbling to himself and cursing Shizuo and the sheets. Izaya gingerly lifted the covers seeing what the catheter had caught on.
Unfortunately the door slid open the brute reappearing. It was a little awkward and now he was sure Shizuo was blushing looking at his dick. It would be worrisome if it was anger. Unless of course that anger was justified.
"Ew Shizu-chan's a pervert!" Izaya teased laughing. A bad idea. Laughing hurt. Doing anything but staying still hurt.
"Piss off flea. Fuck this." The door slammed again. Izaya sighed staring at it wondering how it coped with such abuse. His method of entertainment was gone, the only one to visit him was his enemy. So far. He'd only recently been admitted, there was still plenty of time. By the time he was discharged his room would be lined with flowers.
x-x-x
Finally he could move. Izaya couldn't be happier when the catheter was removed and he could afford himself some privacy. Not that it mattered. The only ones that paid any attention was the nurse in charge of changing his dressing and the self proclaimed bodyguard perched like a stone statue outside his door.
"Shizu-chan, you can relax now." Izaya singsonged grabbing his crutches. "They took the catheter out so you won't feel ashamed looking at my godly piece."
The blond scowled at him. "Are you being discharged?"
"Not yet. A few more days."
"What's with the crutches?"
Izaya grinned. "So I won't be pushed and shoved around. Don't want my wound reopening."
The blond stared at him. "You won't be. I'm here."
Izaya laughed. "You'd be the first to push me down the stairs, Shizu-chan. So did you chase everyone away? Not everyone is a threat."
"...there wasn't anyone flea."
"Because you scared them away. Still it shouldn't have stopped Shinra. He's used to us fighting and Celty can handle herself." Izaya slipped, his crutch clattering against the floor.
Shizuo picked it up handing it back. "Thanks." He said grudgingly. Thanking an enemy whatever next?
"Oi flea-"
"Well I'm going to go for a walk." Izaya grinned. "Why don't you wait here or get me some more sushi?"
Izaya walked away frowning listening to every metallic clack. He didn't need to look behind him to know the great lumbering brute was trailing after him.
"Flea, Shinra is pre-occupied."
Izaya shrugged. It wasn't like it was any of his business. They were just friends. "I know. Can't be helped. It would have been inconvenient to have everyone crowding outside the door."
"Flea. Listen-"
"Can I get a non talkative bodyguard or at least an educated one?" Izaya grinned. "Or one that isn't such a virgin?"
"Hey! What's that got to do with anything?"
Izaya paused looking over his shoulder. "Well that's why you were staring so enviously at my dick, isn't it?"
"Shut up." The blond grumbled. Definitely a blush.
Izaya gasped holding the crutch out in defence. "You were going to take advantage! Shizu-chan's a pervert!"
"Shut up! It's not like that." Shizuo scowled flushed and embarrassed. Could be anger. It's usually always anger. "Maybe I just wanted to keep you company because no one else would!"
Izaya grinned. "I think you should leave now, Shizu-chan. You're scaring my other visitors away."
x-x-x
"Didn't I tell you to leave?" Izaya leaned against the door frame.
"I'm staying."
"Why? It's not like you're my only visitor." Izaya scowled poking the brute with his plastic knife. He'd yet to find anything decent on the nurse. Well he had found a condom and that was in the pocket to his airy hospital gown.
"You get discharged in a couple of days."
Izaya tried not to look around his barren hospital room. "I tried seeing if the nurse had a scalpel."
Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Not everyone wants to kill you."
"I always carry my knife." Izaya sulked quickly grinning. "Guess what I found instead."
"A paperclip?"
Izaya held up the square waggling it in the blond's face.
"What's that?"
Izaya laughed going back inside the room.
"What? What's so funny?"
Izaya waved his hand. "Close the door." Shizuo did as he'd said. "Come closer. Closer. A little more."
"Stop screwing around!" The blond snapped.
"It's a condom." Izaya tucked it into Shizuo's pocket. "For when you finally lose your virginity."
"Shinra was right you're an asshole."
Izaya grinned. "Nope that would be you. No one is going to let you top with that strength."
"Laugh all you want dumbass." Shizuo growled. "If I weren't here you'd be bawling like a baby."
Izaya clutched his knife driving it into the blond's shoulder. "What the hel do you know?" He stabbed down again and again letting out his frustration.
Shizuo stared back at him, sighed and snapped the plastic knife in half. "I know what it's like to be different and only have your family visit you when they can. I spent most of my childhood in hospital dumbass."
"Ah but you're a monster." Izaya jeered.
"And you're a sociopath that turns everyone against you. You have one friend and not even your sisters have bothered to come and see you."
"Of course not, they're stalking your brother. If it pisses you off I'm all for it."
Shizuo scowled grabbing his shoulders. "Why can't you just bloody admit you're lonely? Cut the bullshit!"
Izaya clenched his fists. "Shut up, Shizu-chan. I'm almost recovered and then you can chase me to your hearts content. Until then go throw a vending machine or something."
"I'm staying."
Izaya rolled his eyes. "Well if you're staying then we're putting that condom to good use." There. Now see the protozoan stay.
"...alright."
"Bye bye then. See you in a few- what?" Izaya gaped at the blond standing there blushing like a virgin. Well he was but "what?"
"I said alright." Shizuo grumbled.
Izaya stared.
Shizuo stared.
Damn it was awkward but Izaya couldn't take back his joke and Shizuo was too clueless to know it was a joke.
"...you're on top."
"...but my strength..."
"Riding me you idiot." Izaya cursed. "You really are a virgin."
x-x-x
The nurse was in for a treat if she opened those curtains. Izaya mused glancing at the blond between his legs mouth on his cock. Shizuo's only redeeming quality was that he knew how to listen.
"Careful." Izaya guided. "I don't want my wound opening."
Lidded eyes looked up at him. "Should we wait?"
And miss this opportunity? Not a chance. Izaya grinned.
"No. Just be careful. I think that's enough. Turn around Shizu-chan. I have to deflower you first. We're in the right place but I still don't want you crushing my dick."
The blond grumbled showing his ass. Izaya stared rubbing his hand over the smooth globes. "Last time to back out. If you don't want to..."
"Its you that's scared." Came a muttered reply.
"I'm not the virgin." Izaya shot back. "And I don't have any lube."
"What's that?" Shizuo asked looking strangely endearing red faced and vulnerable.
"Well the maternity ward might have some and I'm sure accident emergency will have something we can use." Izaya teased.
"If it's going to hurt anyway just put it in."
Izaya shrugged sucking his fingers. "...you did shower right?"
The blond glared at him. It lost its effect seeing how he was naked. "Yes."
"You washed everywhere right?"
"Yes." Came an answering growl.
"And you didn't take a dump this morning? We've only got one condom and I don't want shit on my fingers."
"Would you shut up and fuck me?" Shizuo snapped. Izaya laughed.
x-x-x
"Not too fast." Izaya groaned feeling the blond's prepped ring try and squeeze him to death. "Glad to know your ass is about as accommodating as you are."
"Three fingers hurt. You were the one that suggested it." Shizuo grumbled.
Izaya hissed his expression most likely matching the brute's. "So much for slow and steady. Sharp and quick?"
"Yeah." The blond breathed pained.
Izaya found purchase on Shizuo's hips, his own snapped up as his bed partner slammed down delightfully crushing his balls. "Protozoan."
Shizuo trembled getting accustomed to him. "...is that it?"
Izaya rolled his eyes. "I'm injured so you'll do all the work. Lift yourself up and then down again. Don't put your hand on my stomach, I don't want you opening my wound. Don't touch my chest either, you'll crack a rip." Izaya sighed seeing the look on the blond's face. "...You can hold my hands."
Shizuo nodded lifting his body like a good protozoan and lowering himself down. Izaya held his hands watching as he slid up and down on his cock. It wasn't so bad. He was half tempted to risk his injury and pound the blond into the slightly springy mattress.
Maybe next time. Izaya frowned. Next time?
"Orihara-kun, it's time-" Izaya sighed the curtain pulled open. If only he had a phone he'd be able to take a picture of the priceless expression on Shizuo's face.
x-x-x
Finally his self proclaimed bodyguard left him alone after the nurse had called security and a fight had ensued. It had been good while it lasted. Izaya looked at the door and sighed. That was it for his company. Now that he was bored again he was back to staring at his room and how nothing had changed from his arrival.
Slipping out of bed Izaya left his hospital room glancing at the spot Shizuo had claimed as his bodyguard spot. It was empty now. Izaya stood staring at the wall opposite. How boring. There was nothing but a poster describing contraceptive methods.
The protozoan probably kept himself busy trying to read the thing. It was in kanji and not hirigana. Izaya sighed pressing his foot back against the wall. "Stupid protozoan." What an idiot running away just because they'd been caught.
x-x-x
Izaya didn't see Shizuo again whilst he was in the hospital, they'd have their awkward confrontation afterwards. It was pointless to deny the brute's involvement in his lack of visitors. He was getting discharged and no one had come to see him off to offer to give him a ride home. Not even Namie. She was definitely getting fired or a pay cut. Definitely a pay cut.
Shizuo was getting a piece of his mind and maybe his dick. Or a vibrator. That sounded good. He hadn't expected the brute to be a bottom or a bit of a masochist but it was a pleasant surprise and definitely something that could spice up their chases in the future. If it happened again. He had no evidence.
For now he had to convince one of the nurses to let him call a cab and hope a specific human or other enemies weren't laying in wait. Trudging back to his room Izaya opened the door and stopped dead.
A 'congratulations on your discharge' banner hung over his bed, a generous helping of sushi- tuna specifically- sat on a platter balancing on his pillow. Izaya dropped his gaze to the floor where Shinra was tied up covered in flowers. Next to him were his sisters in the same state. Next to them was Dotachin and the rest of the van gang and on the other side of the bed was Namie joined by Mikado and Masaomi.
Izaya grinned, laughed and sat on the bed plucking a tuna temaki from the platter. "Ah now I really can't let you go, Shizu-chan." He smiled ecstatic and popped the treat in his mouth. His sisters were glaring at him, Dotachin rolled his eyes and Shinra was struggling frantically. "What? I didn't tell him to do it. This is just Shizu-chan's declaration of love. Sweet isn't it?" None of his guests answered so Izaya shrugged and happily ate his sushi, enjoying every last bite and sucking on his fingers.
End
